"In the Other Room"
Author: carmen_085
Disclaimer: I do not own any Walking Dead characters. All original characters are mine.
Summary: It started with a cough and then a terrible pain. Sometime was terribly wrong and Daryl didn't know what to do; Merle had always been the toughest son of a bitch he knew. His last hope was the only hospice nurse brave enough to set foot in their trailer. Eyes never wavering from his, she extended her hand "Hi, I'm Beth". AU- NON-ZA to eventual ZA. Part of the "Never Give up on Each Other" Universe.
Chapter Six
Beth hadn't gotten far from the farm when it struck her just how dark the night was. Moonless and with just a scattering of stars, she quickly realized the power was out in parts of town. Strange, the farm was just fine before she left. Glancing at the dashboard clock she saw the numbers glow twelve-thirty PM. She hated leaving Teddy at home like this, but she also promised Daryl that she'd be there when Merle's time came. Some families would call her in a panic like this and she would come and find their loved one still very much alive. Daryl was a cut to the point sort of man she knew if he was calling her at this hour it definitely had to be something. She assumed that she would arrive to find Merle dead. Idly she wondered if Daryl had thought about a funeral home. It didn't take a genius to conclude that they didn't have much money and perhaps that would be something that would be forgone entirely. In that case Beth would call the County Medical Examiner and Merle would be taken there until Daryl decided what to do with him next.
She sighed, thankfully she'd left her book of protocols in the car- certainly liable to leave without it at this time of night. Up ahead a family was walking alongside the road each with a suitcase. She stared as she passed them, how odd at this time of night. Swallowing back the fear , she told herself that the sooner she got to Dixon trailer and took care of this the sooner she would be home. Slowing the car she passed two more people coming from the highway, they had no luggage but their faces were a mix of fear and panic and this time Beth couldn't stop the anxiety from washing over her. Something just wasn't right.
Coming to a turn off she knew well, Beth slowed her jeep hitting the dirt and gravel driveway and quickly disappearing into the woods. She took a deep breath knowing she had to take it easy right now, the last thing she needed was getting her car stuck like the first time. Thankfully the minute her lights swept across the trailer she saw Daryl standing on the porch. Just seeing him made her instantly feel better, and taking her bags and the protocol book she chided herself knowing she was here to support him not the other way around.
"Not sure if he's still breathing…" Beth nodded quickening her pace as she ascended the stairs. Daryl was always so logical…so composed, but right now he looked slightly rattled. It was to be expected and that was why she was here, to take care of this and guide him through to the next step. Before she could think about it, her hand came to lay reassuringly on his forearm.
"I'll check him." Daryl exhaled allowing himself to relax just a bit. He didn't know why he was so tense about it to begin with. All along this was what they were expecting, however, now that it was actually here he felt sick. Swallowing hard, he found his stomach lodged in his throat.
Beth disappeared inside the trailer and after taking a steadying breath Daryl followed after her. Even at this hour she was efficient as always taking her medical bag quickly back to Merle's room and setting to work. Daryl had all the lights on for some reason, guessing he wanted to be sure before calling her in the middle of the night. He'd been dozing on the couch when he heard a strange gasp come from the other room. It had given Daryl pause wondering if perhaps this was actually it.
In Merle's room he'd looked pale- too pale- and his mouth open and his tongue dry and nearly white. One of his eyes had fallen open and the other was closed giving him a terrible lopsided appearance. With a shaking hand Daryl laid two fingers against Merle's neck just as Beth had shown him and waited to feel for a pulse. Of course with his own heart racing it was hard to say what he was feeling and after a minute of standing there he decided it was time to call Beth. She would know what to do, she always did.
Now he sat nervously at the small table and stared at the closed door trying to prepare himself for the inevitable. Some years ago, before Merle had moved out to this trailer, they lived in a shitty house on the edge of town. The man who lived next door was crazy and the police were periodically there getting him back under control when his mother simply couldn't handle him. After a particularly brutal, alcohol fueled day of violence he went to he second floor and set his mother on fire while she slept. The house, full of trash, caught quickly and Daryl found himself standing on the street watching it burn. Afterwards, the house stood for more than a year burnt out and held together with plywood. Eventually nature took over and it became part of the landscape, ugly but there just the same. Until one day the city tore it down and planted grass in it's place. Something he thought would just be there forever gone in the blink of an eye.
He wasn't sure how that applied to his brother right now but it was all he could think about. How a person could get used to something, even something damaged beyond repair, and then how quickly it can be erased as if it was never there at all. For better or worse Merle was always there. Of course there were times he was in jail or off on a bender with his friends. But when it mattered, really mattered, he was always there. After tonight Daryl would be utterly alone in the world, no family whatsoever. Not that the Dixons were much of a family, but still blood was blood and there was no replacement for that.
Kneeling down next to Merle's bed, Beth looked him over in the harsh overhead lighting. He certainly looked dead, his mouth partially open and his skin a pale waxy tone. In the ICU they had the benefit of heart monitors and arterial lines, things that could tell you the moment someone expired. This was a bit different and she would need to use her assessment skills to confirm death and then pronounce Merle officially. Taking out her stethoscope, Beth listened to both sides of Merle's chest and heard no respirations. Then just as her hospice protocols dictated she placed it over his heart and listened for a full minute. Again nothing, sighing she felt like she could confidently say that Merle Dixon was gone.
Beth took the next few moment to make Merle more presentable. She knew Daryl had already seen him but he hadn't seen him actually knowing that he was gone. How he looked now would be in his memory always. And it was a left over practice from her days in the ICU when she and Rosita would often go to great lengths to clean a patient, prop them up, and adjust the lighting. The goal, of course, was to make them look less dead and most of the times they succeeded. Rosita was always the one to stand back and admire their work quipping it was better than the funeral home. Beth missed Rosita, especially in times like these.
For Merle she adjusted the pillows behind his head tilting him forward just enough to close his mouth. She slid his eyelids down and covered him to his mid chest being sure to leave a hand out for Daryl to hold should he be moved to do so. Turning off the overhead light she flicked on the bedside lamp instantly mitigating Merle's sickly white pallor. Beth reasoned this was as good as it would get and she only had one thing left to do.
Daryl's eyes flicked up as she stepped out from the other room closing the door quietly behind her. Her face was impassive and gave nothing away; she was a professional after all. Placing her medical bag on the floor and taking the thick binder she'd only brought for today, Daryl knew without a doubt that Merle was dead. Now it wasn't about the person but the process. Arrangements needed to be made- not that he had much of anything to make them with.
"He's dead right ?" Maybe if he said it first it wouldn't be as bad. Beth's eyes flicked up as she forced a small smile sitting down at the table across from him.
This would be her first death notice as she took a deep breath. She and Daryl were something akin to friends at this point, but still that didn't mean his reaction wouldn't surprise her. "Yes, Merle is dead." It sounded so crass, even to her ears but the most important thing about a death notification was using plain, easy to understand language. Daryl's eyes immediately flicked down as Beth's stomach twisted. Reaching out she placed a hand over his his. "It probably happened just before you called me." He nodded taking the slightest bit of comfort in knowing he'd made the right decision. Because this was Daryl Beth felt the need to a go a bit further,. "I'm sure he knew you were there with him at the end."
Daryl exhaled his shoulders shaking with restrained emotion as he swallowed hard. Beth wasn't sure if it was right but she also didn't care. Coming around the table she put an arm around Daryl's shoulders hugging him against her. Clearly this was not something she would do for just anyone, her feelings for Daryl taking precedence over any notion of professionalism. She didn't know she was holding her breath until he relaxed sagging against her, tears finally coming to his eyes.
The night was dark but the farmhouse was ablaze with light. Propping the creaking screen door open with a cinder block, he'd been readying her all night out in the barn. The second he heard Beth's jeep tear down the driveway a smile spread across his face. Tonight he would take her inside and when Beth returned she would finally understand what he meant.
Using a noose they kept for the small livestock, Hershel pinned her in place tying a stick between her teeth to keep the gnashing at bay. He brushed her hair, cut her tattered clothes away, and with great pains dressed her in one of the old dresses left hanging in the bedroom closet. Aside from the greying of her skin and the yellowing of her teeth, it was his Annette risen from the dead. Now he just had to get her back into the house and up to bed. Tucked in like her mama always used to be, Beth would see the truth in this and then they could be a family once again.
Putting on a thick pair of gloves he cut her bindings loose and taking the pole began to lead her back toward the house. He got the hang of it quickly steering her across the driveway and up the porch stairs. She shambled and tripped taking more than one try to get where he wanted her to go. Quickly, Hershel realized that stairs were all but impossible. He would not be able to get her upstairs unless he carried her. Out of breath as he finally reached the house his eyes settled on the guest bedroom reasoning that would have to be good enough.
Teddy snapped awake hearing a commotion downstairs. The bedroom was dark now with the TV off and nothing but a sliver of light underneath the door. He didn't know how long his mama had been gone but he did know that he needed to pee in the worst way. It was only then that he noticed that Agatha wasn't next to him in bed but on the floor with her nose pressed to the door. Her ears at attention and her body taut she'd picked up on a scent that she didn't like. Pulling the covers aside, Teddy kept the stuffed dog in the crook of his arm as he softly padded across the wooden floor in nothing but his PJs and a pair of thick socks.
"Excuse me, Agatha." He reached for the knob knowing his mama told him stay put but also knowing he didn't want to mess the bed like last time. He was a big boy; he would go across the hallway and straight back.
The dog, however, didn't like the plan and refused to move. Turning the knob Teddy popped the lock and despite putting her big body between him and what he was about to do, Agatha finally relented and let him open the door coming out on his heels. All of the lights were on downstairs, his mama had to be home. Slipping into the bathroom he shut the door behind him quickly pulling down his pants and taking care of his business. His mama kept a stool in front of the big potty for him and he did use it most of the time. It as dark, though, and he was alone. He'd use his baby potty and tell her he was sorry when she came home.
Outside the door Agatha sat at attention her eyes trained down the steps. The stench coming from the living room was like nothing she'd ever smelt before. Had the boy not been alone she would have gone down to investigate herself. Teddy, however, was her only priority; he was small and gentle and so very fragile. She was always so careful to temper her excitement around him for fear that she might knock him over and hurt him. She utterly adored him, though, and never, ever took her eyes off of him. The smell was so strong, though, as her hackles went up as she let out a low growl.
Teddy finished pulling his pants up and tucking the dog back under his arm. He'd go back across the hallway and get into bed shutting the door and not moving again until his mama came home. Emerging from the bathroom, though, he heard his grandpa talking to someone in a low voice. It was the middle of the night, who else could it be besides his mama ? Teddy was afraid of Grandpa Hershel, he wasn't ashamed to admit that, although he knew it wasn't normal. Other kids often got picked up by their grandpas at daycare, kindly looking older men with gentle smiles and kind eyes. Grandpa Hershel wasn't like that, he was unpredictable and random, the things he said and did making little sense. Mama told him once that Grandpa was sick, and although Teddy told her he understood he really didn't. Because if that was true why couldn't mama make him better ?
Against the little voice in his head, Teddy started down the stairs hoping he'd peek around the corner and Beth would be there. Seeing what the boy was about to do Agatha darted past him down the stairs taking her position at the bottom. That awful smell was now stronger as she couldn't stop her hair from standing on end. At the far corner of the living room Hershel backed her inside the door murmuring soothing platitudes as she snapped against the stick in her mouth. She already looked so much better, back inside the house where she belonged, the soft white light making her skin look less sallow.
Admittedly, though, she was hard to control and as he gently pushed her back toward the bed her efforts to move past him redoubled. Even in his altered state, Hershel noticed she had a keen smell for the living. Immediately upon entering the house her senses had risen with her attention turning toward the stairs. She knew the boy was here and any reservations Hershel might have had about that disappeared when he realized she was just looking for her grandson. It would be alright, once he got her settled in they would see what a miracle this truly was. Cutting her bindings he released the bite block from her mouth.
"Mama ?" Hershel jumped from the room slamming the door behind him as he laid eyes on his young grandson. In his pajamas with a thick pair of socks on his little feet he clutched a stuffed dog staring uncertainly. Beside him, the dog let out a low growl the hair on her back standing up as her eyes swept between Hershel and the bedroom door.
"Teddy ? What are you doing up ?" Hershel did his best not to appear rushed or winded forcing a smile.
The boy was not reassured, however, and stared back at him pensively. Taking a hesitant step forward he couldn't understand why his mama would be in the downstairs bedroom. The minute she got home he knew she would come straight upstairs to check on him, she always did. Still, he could hear someone in there and who else would it be ?
"I thought I heard mama." His little voice came out even smaller than usual, the fear behind it clear.
Hershel reasoned there was no time better than the present. If he really wanted to win Beth over to this whole idea, warming Teddy up to it first would be smart. The boy was so fearful, sometimes Hershel worried he would turn out too soft. No father and a mother that constantly doted on him, what did they expect would happen ? It was past time for the boy to toughen up a bit.
"Your mama's here and so is your grandma…they're just inside, ok ?" Teddy instantly brightened thinking Beth was here but quickly his brow furrowed. Grandma wasn't here, she was at the place on the edge of town. Mama took him there every once in a while to put flowers next to a stone. She tried to explain it once but eventually just shrugged and said grandma was in heaven. Teddy didn't understand, but he knew grandma couldn't be at the place on the edge of town, and in heaven, and in the downstairs bedroom. "Come on, let me show you."
Hershel reached out and grabbed him by the hand, Agatha instantly letting out a low growl. For his own part Teddy didn't resist-much- hoping against all reason that his mama was here and they would go back upstairs and she would hold him in their bed tight. He should have known, though, Aggie was such a gentle, loving dog and right now she looked downright ferocious. Still, Grandpa Hershel was far too big and strong and as he laid his hand on the door knob Teddy knew in his heart that his mama wasn't in there. Something terrible and scary was in there and before he could pull away it was too late.
It all happened so fast. The door sprang open and in an instant she was out of the bedroom lunging for Teddy. He screamed louder than he ever screaming in his entire life yanking free of Grandpa Hershel and falling backwards. Agatha hesitated for just a second before putting herself in front of the boy barking wildly. She'd never seen or smelt anything like this, but still she sensed the danger.
"Don't be scared, Teddy. It's grandma !" The delusional notion was lost in the chaos of the moment as Teddy scrambled to his feet dropping his stuffed dog as he bolted toward the door. Tears clouded his vision as he yelled out for Beth.
"Mama ! Mama !" There as no one to hear him though. Agatha was like an animal possessed, barking and snapping wildly keeping her back to Teddy as she pushed him toward the door. There would be no way she'd ever let this thing get ahold of her boy, intent to die right here if it meant he would be safe.
The old man was gesturing like a psycho, flapping his arms, and yelling something nobody could understand. He didn't seem alarmed as this thing, whatever it was, continued to pursue Teddy across the living room floor. Thankfully the little boy didn't hesitate and slipping into his galoshes quickly he pulled the front door open and took off. Agatha looked back only once, the old man more worried about the creature on the floor than his three year old grandson darting across the pasture. As she raced after him, a blood curdling scream of pain echoed across the farm.
Beth wasn't sure how long they sat at the table together but eventually she knew she had to leave and get back to her son. Daryl hadn't said much; a few memories of his brother and a muttered, shameful sorry for the tears he'd cried on her shoulder. Her heart broke for him all over again deciding this was not the time to debate and simply laid her hand over his.
Daryl didn't have money to bury his brother let alone have a funeral or anything fancy like that. Besides, the only person he'd want to see at such a thing was sitting right here. The medical examiner would come get him and take him to the county morgue, Beth explained, and in the morning she would help him look into VA benefits to see if Merle qualified. The dignity of a burial and a small headstone was something everyone deserved. It's what Beth said and now it was something he kept telling himself. Dixons didn't take hand outs, but this wasn't quite the same. Whatever the VA could provide, Merle had already paid for with his years of service.
From the table Daryl's eyes swept between the closed bedroom door and Beth standing out on the porch of the trailer her cell phone pressed to her ear. She'd tried the medical examiner once, twice, three times- nothing but a busy signal. She couldn't just leave him laying here in the bed all night, but she also needed to get home and back to Teddy before he woke up. Finally coming back into the trailer she looked at Daryl, an apologetic smile on her face.
"I can't get anyone….they usually answer right away." Technically she didn't know that, this being her first death, still it seemed like the right thing to say. Going back to her manual open on the kitchen counter, she confirmed the number to be right for the third time. Daryl turned to look at her as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Won't hurt nothing to leave him there until morning." Beth met his eyes, uncertain if he was actually alright with his dead brother in the other room or if he was simply trying to let her off the hook.
"Are you sure ?" If he wasn't she planned to call a funeral home in town and see if they'd get Merle for the night and then transfer him over in the morning. Nobody should have to sleep in the same house as their deceased family member if they didn't want to. Yes, in the past that was the standard with families having wakes in the front parlor. Her own great grandfather had been laid out in the farmhouse, a preserved four leaf clover he'd brought with him from Ireland in the front pocket of his suit. Her own dad, just a young boy, recounted staring at the body in confusion while everyone huddled around dressed in black and sobbing quietly.
This was not that, though. Still, even she had to admit that Daryl seemed unbothered by the idea. "Yeah. Ain't like he's going anywhere." His lips twitched up slightly as she let out a breath she didn't now she'd been holding.
"Ok. I promise first thing in the morning after the daycare opens I'll be back and we'll sort this out." Beth closed the manual in front of her moving toward her bag as Daryl stood. He'd seen the way Beth cleaned and positioned his brother and he was confident that even in death no one had ever taken better care of Merle Dixon. He wasn't certain he'd be able to sleep tonight, but either way that wasn't Beth's problem. She had her own life and her boy that she needed to take care of. He supposed he might be part of that, but still just a very, very small part.
Swallowing everything he felt right now, Daryl nodded toward the door. "Sounds like plan." He wanted her to stay, he could lie to everyone else about that but not himself. Not just because the best part of his day was seeing her but also because this was one of the worst moments of his life. Merle wasn't what most would consider family but to Daryl it was all he ever had.
Beth knew if she lingered here, she might never leave and she had to get back to her son. Shouldering her bags she nodded once more at Daryl resisting the thrumming urge in her chest to pull him into another tight hug. She got the idea that Daryl didn't like to be touched, but the fact that he'd all but collapsed against her let her know just how much trust they had between them. Sighing, she offering him one last sad smile. "I promise. First thing, I'll be back."
Daryl could do nothing but duck his head and nod, the hair falling across his eyes and shielding the emotion behind them. Once she did finally leave closing the door behind her, he stood there and listened until the sound of her jeep disappeared down the path. He'd never slept in the same place as a dead body before, well at least not one that he knew of. When they'd settled down to sleep in some of the seediest locations imaginable, Merle always told him not to look around. 'Mind your own business, little brother, and we'll be just fine'. For whatever reason he couldn't imagine laying down in bed like it was a normal night, and instead sat on the couch flicking on the TV. He could go look at his brother again, make sure everything was alright…..
He was talking crazy right now. What could be wrong ? Wasn't like he was going to get up and go nowhere. Sighing he shook his head. He didn't know what he was supposed to feel like or what he supposed to do. Merle had been dying for weeks now and this wasn't unexpected, but still…now he was actually dead. As expected as this was, his brother actually being gone carried a strange finality he hadn't been prepared for. Daryl wasn't sure how long sat there staring at the TV but after a while he realized an emergency broadcast was flashing across the screen.
'Civil Emergency Shelter in Place.'
What the hell did that mean ? Flipping the channels he found the message on every station eventually turning the TV off all together. Exhaling he laid back staring at the darkened ceiling of the trailer. Daryl didn't put much stock in something called a civil emergency, sounded like a bunch of whiners out rioting. Tearing up businesses when they didn't have a job themselves was downright shameful. Didn't seem like anything that concerned him, although Daryl couldn't stop his mind from flashing back to the man he'd seen in the woods wandering aimlessly. Something was strange about it…so strange, in fact, that he was laying here thinking about it when he clearly should be worried about a hundred other things.
A thud in the other room made him jump. Sitting up Daryl cocked his head. Had he just imagined that ? Then another thump and something akin to a hiss. A raccoon or opossum must have crawl in through one of the cracks under the trailer. Fine time for this to happen. Grabbing his crossbow he knew he had to take care of the thing. He could just imagine the hell Merle would give him one day if he let some critter nibble on his dead body. The notion itself made Daryl smirk.
Turning the knob he didn't think twice until the door burst open and knocked him backwards. In a second someone lunged toward him hissing and moaning with their jaw wide open and teeth snapping. How the hell had a person gotten into the trailer ? Using all his strength Daryl pushed the body backward through the door and onto the floor.
And it was only then that he realized the bed was empty.
Flicking the overhead light back on Daryl froze. Nobody had gotten in. It was Merle on the floor; flopping around, hissing, and gnashing at the air like a man possessed. Inhaling sharply he stared, how was this even possible ? He'd seen his brother not an hour ago, very much dead, and now he was moving like he hadn't in weeks. It made no sense. Instantly his mind reeled back to the man in the woods shuffling along and running into trees mindlessly.
"Merle ?" The thing on the floor pushed up to standing immediately lunging toward him teeth wide open and eyes a cloudy, vacant gray. Pinned against the wall Daryl pitting his disbelief against a pathetic shred of hope as he yelled out, "IT'S ME, BRO !"
There was nothing, though, not a single word nor a flicker of recognition. His persistence to eat was almost stunning, nothing deterring him from the soft flesh of Daryls neck. Summoning all his strength, he pushed Merle off of him back through the door slamming it the second he was clear.
This just couldn't be. Merle was dead, Beth checked him and she was never wrong about anything when it came to taking care of a person. Daryl himself had stood there for five minutes straight staring at his brother's lifeless body. People just didn't rise from the dead. Behind the door, Merle moaned loudly thumping himself against the other side trying to find a way out.
Daryl paused before grabbing his crossbow. He would go to the farm and find Beth. She would know what to do. Snatching his keys off the table he shut the door securely behind him. Lights swept across his face as he gasped; Beth not even bothering to shut the door of her jeep as she jumped out. The look on her face made his stomach sink as he momentarily forgot all about Merle.
"Wha ? What is it?" Her face streaked with tears and her hair a mess she shook her head barely able to force the words from her mouth.
"It's Teddy…he's gone."
TBC…..
Sorry for the delay I got involved in another story an life in general. Not abandoning this by any means. Thank you for reading and reviewing !