Chapter 42

Izara lifted her head, but her eyelids were heavy. She'd been dozing off with her book in her hands and staring blankly at the pages but not reading it.

"You should go and get some sleep," Zuko said, his smooth voice coming from her left.

He'd been doing some paperwork from the couch across from her. He smiled fondly at her, his eyes soft, but there was a hint of worry in their golden depths. Running his hand through his hair, he shuffled over to her and held his hand out. Knowing he was right, she took the hint and put her book down before putting her hand in his.

They got to their feet, and Zuko slowly led her upstairs to the bedroom. They'd had dinner and were just winding down for the night, but Izara couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. He ushered her into her bedroom until she sat on the edge of the bed. Zuko looked around nervously before he leaned down and kissed her cheek briefly, which made her blush. As he approached the door, Izara wanted to ask him to stay with her again but was too nervous to say it outright. She'd slept so well when they'd shared the bed before; his presence put her at ease and made her feel safe.

"Don't stay up too late." She said instead.

He turned to look at her, smiling happily, and leaned against the door frame, crossing his muscular arms over his chest.

"Don't you worry about me. Just get some rest. Call out if you need anything." The low light from the hallway showed the slight smile on his face, with the rest of him in shadow.

When he disappeared, she heard him descending the stairs and figured he was returning to his paperwork. After quickly changing into her nightdress and hopping into bed, she did her best to relax on the mattress. She closed her eyes and controlled her breathing, keeping it rhythmic.

It didn't take long for her to doze off for a few minutes, but the sound of the wooden stairs creaking drew her back to reality. She frowned but didn't open her eyes until she felt a presence in the doorway. Cracking her eyes open, she saw Zuko's head poking around the corner from the low light in the hallway. Chuckling out loud, his silhouette moved as he heard her laughter. His head dropped, and she heard him laugh softly.

"I thought you would have fallen right to sleep." He said just loud enough for her to hear him from his position.

"I heard you coming up the stairs." She answered.

"Yeah, I wasn't as quiet as I'd hoped. Sorry." Zuko's arm moved to the back of his head.

"It's okay. Were you checking on me or going to bed?" Izara asked, and she saw his head tilt as he considered his answer.

"Uhhh, both?" His tone was particularly uncertain.

"I'm okay. Thank you." Izara's smile was evident in her tone.

"I'll, uhh, go to bed then," he replied but didn't move from his spot.

Something in his tone tugged in her mind. It wasn't something she could identify, but he seemed somehow reluctant to move, so she waited a moment. Her mouth moved faster than her mind, though.

"Do you want to stay here?" She blurted out before she could catch herself.

She could see Zuko's form straighten and him stay very still. He was either barely breathing or not breathing at all, and he didn't shift at all for a few seconds. Izara wanted to bury her head under the blankets out of embarrassment at her stupid question until he finally spoke.

"Uh, my bed is bigger?" His voice was cautious but held restrained excitement.

"Good point," she said, lifting herself up with her arms behind her. Since they'd talked earlier, she felt braver about being more forward with Zuko now.

As Izara walked over to meet him in the doorway, he hadn't moved aside for her to pass. She could see his expression now and noticed his jaw was clenched. Doing her best to progress their comfort with each other, she grabbed his hand and linked her fingers between him. He relaxed immediately, and she watched the smile form on his face. Zuko brought their linked hands up to his face and kissed the back of her hand. Afterwards, he put her hand against his cheek, closing his eyes and sighing audibly.

"Why don't we go and lay down?" Izara suggested, and Zuko made a sound of agreement before continuing to the master bedroom.

Zuko held Izaras's hand against his chest, keeping it close to him as they walked over to his much larger bed. The spare room had a double bed, but this one was easily a king-size or bigger. Judging by the rumpled sheets, he moved to the side he'd clearly been sleeping on, and Izara went to the other side and pulled the covers back. She was too nervous to lay down now that she was here and watched Zuko grasp the collar of his shirt as if he would pull it off over his head. His eyes widened, and he quickly relaxed and let it go, dropping his arms by his side, realising his mistake. She realised that he was likely more nervous than she was.

"It's okay. You can be comfortable," Izara reassured him with a smile. "I can go back to the spare room if you'd prefer."

His hand came up quickly in a gesture to stop her from moving, but he dropped it again. "No...um...I mean. I..." He trailed off, and his tongue wet his lips before he managed to continue. "I want you...to stay here. With me."

"Then, be comfortable."

Zuko smiled with a faint blush on his cheeks before he took his shirt off, and Izara briefly glanced at his scar. She'd not really taken much notice previously, mostly because she was too distracted looking at the finely sculpted torso beneath the clothes. Her brow knitted together in a frown, and he noticed her gaze. His hand landed on the marred skin, running over it absent-mindedly.

Abruptly, he jumped up and landed heavily on the mattress, a burst of playful nervousness overtaking him. They both laughed, and Izara laid down, albeit gentler, beside him. There was a decent gap between them, about a foot and a half. Zuko shifted to make himself more comfortable and smiled at her while their laughter faded. In the process, he moved closer to her, and her eyes fell back on the scar, and she frowned again.

"It doesn't hurt." He offered softly, and her frown relaxed.

"That's good," she responded, pleased that it didn't give him pain despite the severity of the injury. "I've certainly got my fair share of scars."

"I hope they're not this bad." He patted his stomach, just where the scar was.

"The worst one was from a knife." She rolled onto her back and lifted her nightdress up slightly to reveal the stab wound scar on her thigh, just above her knee.

His frown was kind of adorable, and he reached out and gently ran his thumb over the scar. After a moment, his eyes met her own, looking sad for her. It was nice to feel like someone was upset that she had scars from her past.

"Most of the others are pretty boring." She said reassuringly.

"Most?" Zuko asked with a puzzled expression, and Izara realised her error.

"I have a few more, aside from the recent ones." Her answer just made him frown again.

"Where?" His question didn't surprise her. He hadn't seen as much of her revealed skin as she had his.

"Uhh, this one is from a sword." She turned her leg to show the scar on the back of her calf. "This one is fire, obviously." She lifted her arm to show the scar on the underside of her bicep. "There's one here from an arrow." After turning her back to him, she lifted her arm and reached to indicate to her right shoulder blade.

"How many more do you have?" Zuko sounded even more concerned than before.

"Umm..." Izara counted on her fingers and came to four, disregarding her recent scars. "Four."

"Shit." He swore in frustration and propped his head up on his elbow.

"I got cut by a blade here, and this one was another cut." She pointed to the lengthy scar on her shin and the outside of her knee. "And the ones on my hands are just from learning to use bladed weapons."

"This one is from an earthbender." The strange round scar was from a piece of rock that had broken the skin and had taken quite a bit of effort to dislodge from her forearm after embedding into the muscle. "There's this one, too." She turned her head away and pointed to the scar on her chest after tugging her nightdress's neckline down a few centimetres.

Zuko looked a little closer, frowning as he saw the small puncture wound that never properly healed. She hadn't been able to get to a healer before; it had basically healed naturally, and thus, it still looked messy. He gently ran his thumb over the scarred skin before suddenly pulling away as if he had been burnt.

"Sorry...I shouldn't have..." He offered awkwardly.

"It's okay. I don't mind. Just because I haven't had a boyfriend before doesn't mean I'm completely innocent." She didn't really intend for it to sound like she was sexually experienced but realised it after she said it.

"Oh." His blank response was accompanied by widened, surprised eyes. "I've had one girlfriend before."

"Mai, right?" She asked, having heard this information from Suki before.

"Yeah. She's been with a guy named Kei-Lo for a while and seems really happy." He offered with a compassionate smile. He seemed pleased for her, even though they didn't work out.

Izara nodded in understanding and recalled the only time she had been romantically interested in someone. It was before the war had finished, and she had been doing her best to survive without income from mercenary work. A young man who worked in the marketplace she visited occasionally always gave her a large serving when she bought from the food stall he worked at. He was cute and always so polite, but she'd never dared to talk to him, aside from giving him her order and saying thank you. After about a dozen visits to his stall, he had asked to see her outside of work, and they'd hung out and had a good time. It hadn't progressed because she had to leave the area to work, but they had been on a few dates and spent a night together.

"While we're talking about it...is it okay if I call you...my girlfriend?" His hesitance was sweet, and she hadn't even thought about such things yet.

She could only manage to nod as she smiled and blushed. Zuko's happy laugh and bashful smile made her feel like a giggly girl, which she totally was right now. Despite her usual attempts to be perfectly composed, she realised that Zuko preferred her to be herself, and she had become much more relaxed with him. Much more while being here at the guesthouse.

"Should we get some sleep?" Zuko asked softly with a smile.

Izara nodded in agreement. "Mmhmm."

They shuffled under the light covers, but Zuko quickly adjusted, moving closer and shifting his arm underneath her neck to hold her close. She rolled into him, nuzzling her cheek against his chest and enjoying his warmth. His free hand came to her head, running over her hair, helping to soothe her.

She felt him kiss her forehead lightly as she drifted off to sleep...