AN: Hi Everyone!
I have not posted my stories on any other website than Fanfiction. If you see this story or my other ones on other sites it's not me posting it.
I hope you enjoy the chapter.
TIMELINE & DATE:
I think Season 3 happens during 2021 with the last few episodes happening after Homelander's Birthday Special which is July 4th. So I put the action for the last few episodes to happen towards the end of August or first week of September.
For this story I am moving the date up by one year so Chapters 1 through 15 happen during the last week of August first week of September 2022.
My reasoning is that in the show they have a presidential election coming up. In the real world the next election is 2024 and campaigning starts around two years before the election so it fits nicely with the real world and makes future date calculations much easier for me.
As I'm starting the time skip I won't be providing exact dates only months and years and sometimes only years as we get further along the timeline.
Chapter 26
Date: July 2024
Her hands hurriedly splashed the water on her face again.
Remorse
The buzzing sound of the tap echoed in the large bathroom.
Disgust
The cold of the water minutely pinged her senses amplifying her feelings.
Shame
She looked in the mirror.
Hair, eyes, nose, chin all features she recognized as her own yet she felt as if she was looking at a stranger.
'What have I done…?'
She moved her hands under the running water rubbing up to the elbow and splashed her face again.
Her oversized plain white-T now riddled with wet spots…not her shirt… 'His'.
She felt disgusted, gross, dirty and…relieved?
Shame
'No…no…no this isn't right…'
Emotions were bubbling up inside of her.
Despair
She fucked up, she wanted to curl up in a ball and cry and make it all go away.
She stared in the mirror. Was that her? She looked pitiful.
'No!'
Anger
She couldn't let him see her like this…weak, vulnerable, breaking apart.
"Breakfast is ready!" she heard him shout.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath slowly, the lights flickered and opened them with determination.
She would break down later…when she was alone…when she was Annie, not now…now…now she was Starlight.
'Starlight is not afraid and Starlight owns up to her…mistakes.'
She exited the bathroom chin high and strode confidently downstairs to the kitchen.
The smell hit her first and her stomach made itself known with a low rumble.
She saw him.
Plain white-T as well, grey slacks, eye-patch and scarred face, Homelander was just setting up the plates on the massive island.
He looked up and their eyes met.
'Say something!' her thoughts screamed.
Silence.
'SAY SOMETHING!'
Silence.
'Scream! Yell! Anything!' Her inner world raged yet she stayed still.
They both did, eyes locked in a silent battle.
'Leave then, just leave!'
Her right palm clenched in a fist. She could just leave and not say anything.
'I'd be running away.' Her thoughts burst in again.
Her fist tightened and she felt a twitch in her body.
Regret
Disgust
Shame
'No I can't…I need to…I need to…'
"Look."
She blinked, her thoughts broken.
"No amount of rubbing and scrubbing you plan on doing today will wash away the guilt and whatever else you're feeling about us fucking." Homelander said plainly.
"But breakfast might make you feel better. So why don't you have a seat and lets just enjoy these omelets before we start going for each other's throats." He finished gesturing to the food.
As if on cue her stomach rumbled softly again.
'Traitor!'
She sighed and took a seat. A 'fight' on a full stomach was likely better.
As she ate in silence formulating what she wanted to say to him and to herself the thought that kept repeating the most was.
'I can't let this happen again.'
She looked up at his back as he stood up to get another serving of potatoes.
Her eyes traced the outline of his shoulders, he wasn't nearly as broad as the suit made him, up to his neck settling on his lightly colored scarred ripples.
She felt heat in her stomach memories of last night flashed and a light jolt went up her spine.
'I…can't…I can'…"
Scene Break
Date: The evening before.
"I'm going to kill her!" she whispered exasperated while scrolling through the article.
He chuckled in response.
"You're going to kill Taylor? Wow! I think I'm finally rubbing off on you Captain."
Starlight looked at him annoyed as he came down the stairs into the spacious open kitchen.
"Just so you know that won't help you much. You'll have to knock off John, the Director of Marketing, plus Priya, she's the Manager under him and then two analysts, Jenny and Yi, who worked with the writer, Linda, to make that article before it even got to our head of PR & Marketing." He continued while setting up two glasses and opening a bottle of red wine. "That's a high body count for one little article…" he paused while bringing her the glass and plopping down on the couch"…even for me."
Starlight slightly grimaced "Very funny." in response and plopped on the opposite side of the massive couch.
As had become the habit over the past few months they were back at his apartment to debrief and talk about work that was being done and needed to be done. With Homelander stepping back more and more to focus on the his space venture and other Vought issues it was up to Starlight as co-captain to keep him informed on what 'The Seven', really the whole superhero side of the business, and the HomeLight foundation were doing.
It was the silent agreement they had struck.
As long as she didn't take Homelander by surprise he seemed content to let her run things how she wanted giving his approval out loud and support where needed.
The results spoke for themselves.
After getting everyone in for re-training they started to focus heavily on real crime, community outreach, integration and collaboration with law enforcement, charity and other initiatives that brought real tangible change in people's lives.
They were helping people.
Crime analytics alone had doubled in size. Everything from PIs, lawyers, data analysts to ex-detectives had been brought on-board to expand their capabilities and provide training and expertise in all topics ranging from surveillance to evidence gathering.
They were solving cases from petty theft all the way to murder and even white collar crime. They were cooperating with law enforcement and prosecutors and taking bad guys off the streets.
And that wasn't even taking into account her work with the HomeLight foundation. Thousands of people every day in New York and slowly across the country were being helped with a variety of services from at risk youth to mental health services or families that needed housing or simply extra food.
She was helping people.
But it all required an enormous amount of effort and a gargantuan amount of funding and it was only possible because of Her and Him.
"The article was supposed to be about the girls hurt in the trafficking ring not about how I shed a stupid tear during testimony." She said showing him the court room drawing of her looking teary eyed.
"Half the dam article is about my riveting and emotional testimony instead of talking about the actual victims and criminals." She paused briefly "Shit I don't even want to check my social media accounts they likely posted it all over."
She put the tablet down and took a big frustrated gulp of her wine.
They had busted part of the trafficking ring that was happening in the South Asian community, they knew they didn't get all of them but the Federal Prosecutors felt like they had what they needed to start the process and in the end it was up to them.
"You're letting it get to you." He responded casually. "This isn't really about the article. You knew what Vought would do. It's about the case." He looked at her with his one eye analyzing her. "You're making it too personal. Trust me when I say don't. It never turns out well." He took a giant sip of his wine as well. "I speak from experience."
She felt annoyed. How can she not make it personal? The more they uncovered the worse it got and the more people were involved.
How can so many people turn a blind eye to it all just to make some money and it wasn't just this case it was everything.
She felt like greed, corruption, desperation and worst of all indifference were seeped into every aspect of society infecting everything like, like a rot that wouldn't go away.
Logically she knew about it before starting her crusade but to experience it first-hand it was something else altogether. For the past three years everything in her world had revolved so much around terrible supes that she had in a naive way forgotten how terrible non supes can be.
For the most part it was normal people committing terrible crimes.
"Be glad that we pretty much have a fool proof case against them." Homelander continued as he refilled their glasses. "It could be much worse."
She knew it could be much worse. These ones were going to jail. Yet it bothered her that she couldn't help but speak up.
"Yea well not all of us can be as psych…as uncaring as you." She caught herself momentarily and froze looking at Homelander.
She'd knew he didn't like to be insulted that it could set him off or at least that's how he was before…before all this but she'd gotten comfortable around him and now it slipped.
She saw his gaze intensify then he took another big swing of his glass.
"I know I seem cold hearted and psychotic." He said slowly. "And you are right to an extent, even if we don't take into account the events of the past few years, I can be a cold bastard that's what this business does to you and I have been doing this for decades while you have only been at this a few short years."
She felt insulted and oddly brave. She didn't know exactly why, perhaps it was because they were talking, he was talking and not just about their current work.
"I've been doing this since I was a child." She said.
"No." He interrupted her before she could continue. "You've been doing pageant and talent shows sprinkled with stopping the odd robbery and fight here and there since you were a child."
She almost flinched as he stood suddenly. Her eyes followed him as he went to the window.
He stood in silence for a moment then spoke.
"You know I was once like you were…when you joined 'The Seven'" He said softly. "Big dreams to catch bad guys, bring justice and change the world, that sort of thing. I made my debut when I was twenty just eight months later I was embroiled in a case about a pedophile I had caught." He paused. "The worst kind really, rape of a few kids that we could prove and we suspected murder that we couldn't prove."
Starlight saw his jaw clench as if he was hurting from remembering. She felt compelled to stand and join him by the window.
"I was in and out of court for about three weeks as the trial progressed. Everything was going well until it wasn't he was going to get off almost scot free due to some legal technicalities some sort of evidence was not handled correctly...frankly I don't remember."
He turned to her.
She was entranced.
"What I do remember was that I was furious. How could they let this scumbag go? How was it fair? Where was the justice for those children?" He asked forcefully. "There wasn't. I was furious and I went to confront him at his home. I only really meant to scare him but that fucking prick, he bragged about it to me. He said there was nothing I could do to him. The justice system had spoken." He paused once more then broke away from her gaze.
"I was beyond furious at that point so I grabbed him and ripped him to pieces with my bare hands. It was easy…so easy like ripping tissue paper."
Her chest knotted as he described it. 'Like you did to Alex'
"Once I calmed down I panicked of course. I called Vought told them what happened and then Madeline just poof made it all go away, like it never happened."
"After that…well it just became easier I guess. Admittedly I cared less, got sloppier in handling people but Madeline always made it go away. Vought of course wasn't stupid they would try to steer me away from any complicated crimes."
He paused and briefly looked at her. "Having your heroes in and out of court isn't sexy you know, doesn't sell quite as good as simply stopping a robbery or a gang fight. Still every once in a while we needed to do the big complicated cases to pad up the resume so to speak." He took a solemn breath.
"That was the first I killed, really killed, because I wanted to, not by accident or because I was testing boundaries or wanted attention. No." he paused once more.
"I killed him because he didn't deserve to live. I killed him because it was justice, real justice."
She stared at him in silence. She didn't know what to say. He'd never really talk about his past and she never really had a reason to ask. What was there to know? He was Homelander after all.
Another moment passed before he spoke again.
"So you see Starlight don't let it get too personal lest you take justice into your own hands or worse you become cold and uncaring just like me." He finished up his wine.
She followed and finished her wine as well as if using the liquid to muster up her courage to speak.
"That won't happen. I won't…won't allow it…to become…like you." 'I will never become like you!' her thoughts raced.
"No, I guess you won't." She saw his posture relax more. "Our upbringing is much too different." He said with sick smile. "You actually had a mother, while I had well…" he trailed off softly without finishing and looked away. "…Besides you can't see them like I do, you can't hear them like I do."
She blinked.
"See them? Hear them? What do you mean?" she asked confused.
He turned back to her.
"Ever since I was a child my vision and hearing were some of the first powers that manifested. With my eyes I can choose to an extent what I see. But with hearing, you can't turn that off, not really. You just learn how to ignore, filter and focus but its there it's always there."
His jaw tensed and he closed his eye.
"Even now I can hear it all, their whispers, their prayers, their heartbeats. A child just woke up in a rental apartment five blocks away, third floor, scared and screaming for his mother."
"Crying, screaming…there's so much crying and screaming. People arguing with each other, shouting at their loved ones and even themselves. Help me! Save me! Save ME Homelander!" He paused looking back at her.
He looked distressed, her heart was racing.
"I can't help them all, I never could and even when I could have I was turned away from it but I could still hear them. I always could."
He looked away as if he was in pain.
"So I ignored it. Became cold hearted, indifferent. What else could I really do?" He finished with a soft melancholy.
Starlight looked at him, her thoughts racing inside of her. She wanted to speak.
'Then why? Why the…'
"Why the change then? Why let me do all of this? Why support it? Why your obsession with space?" She wanted to know, she needed to know.
"Ryan." He said plainly. "I have a son now, family. One day he will inherit everything I have including this world. What kind of legacy will I leave him? What kind of world? One that's a cesspool of corruption, crime and broken dreams or something better?...So the 'fight' is back on. I'm just smarter about it…I have more experience now."
He finished with a small smile.
'Family'.
She had thought she'd found a family, outside of her mother, a place where she belonged, before Hughie and Butcher had shown their true colors, their obsessions, their disregard for others. 'No they were always like that, they just hid it.' She thought ruefully.
"And you? Why are you doing this? You could have easily just phoned it in as well, let Vought lead, cashed in the checks, fame and glory instead you're working yourself to the bone."
"Because it's the right thing to do." She said almost automatically. "Helping people that is."
He snorted in response. "You're lying…well you certainly believe it but still definitely lying."
Her heart skipped a beat and she scrunched her brow in response.
"I just told you I can hear and see everything." He said smugly. "I can tell when people are being lying even to themselves, especially when I've known them for a bit. There are subtle changes even they don't notice. Now I've been truthful to you I hope you can extend to me the same courtesy Captain."
She felt heat rise from her stomach and chest as he talked.
'I'm not lying I'm just…just…not…' She looked at him and realization came over her. He had opened up…perhaps he was right.
"I…I" She swallowed as she started to slightly stutter, her thoughts racing on why she was working so hard. "I…I want to prove that I can." She finally said.
"I'm not…not…just some blond pretty face to look at. Not just some good Christian girl. I'm more than that! I'm Starlight dam it!" She felt overwhelmed with emotion. "The world is bad yes I admit it but it's also filled with good people and together, if we work together we can make it a better place! I can make it a better place! I have to be better to show there's a better way…better than them."
She spilled out her heart.
She looked up at his gaze, judging her, analyzing her, she found herself caught up waiting for his approval.
His silence sat while her heart raced further.
"You know I picked you." He finally said.
She looked confused.
"When you joined 'The Seven' they came to me to make the final decision. It's my team after all. I picked you out of everyone." He said slowly, softly and stepped in closer. She could feel the heat of his body.
"Why?" She asked. A burning curiosity manifested inside of her. "Why me?"
"You were sweet, naïve and innocent and we were awful, terrible, and horrible really, I knew you weren't going to fit in." he continued solemnly.
"Then why?" she pressed on. She didn't back down as he closed in. He was almost touching her now, looking down on her.
"You were everything that we should have been from the beginning. Part of me hated you and part of me" he said softly and leaned in "Wanted to be you."
Their lips met, her whole body froze for a single second then she felt her heart race, a shock go up her spine to a tingling sensation in the back of her head and the dam broke.
Fire
She leaned in and crushed her lips against his, her heart was racing, and she felt heat building.
Lightning
The tingling sensation extended through her whole body as suddenly her limbs and his were entangled greedily grabbing and exploring each other's bodies.
Thunder
Surging streams of emotions stormed inside of her as she felt herself being lifted up, his mouth breaking off their tongue twisting embrace to move down to her neck.
'Stop! STOP!' A little voice tried to scream above the ranging storm but her body didn't listen.
It couldn't listen.
'….He is…ch…I need this…' Another voice surged between heaving pants as she ripped his shirt off.
She traced her hands on his scars, feeling their every groove only entranced her and emboldened her.
'….he is not the same…' She felt his hungrily kiss her chest in return, her shirt had barely held any resistance to his hands.
She felt herself lost in the sensation. It had been so long since the last time.
She needed this. She needed a release.
'…just one time…'
Each breath fire against her skin.
'…just one night…'
Each kiss a lightning bolt to her sense.
'…lose control…'
88888888
AN:
I have not posted my stories on any other website than Fanfiction. If you see this story or my other ones on other sites it's not me posting it.
Overworked, overstressed and sexually frustrated Starlight lets loose and makes mistakes.
Is HL(SI) spilling a whole bunch of bullshit to get in Starlight's pants? Well a bit of column A and a bit of Column B.
I don't consider the cartoons to be part of cannon so the whole chemical plant explosion thing with HL from his debut is nonsense to me. So my universe is more AU than what Prime likely considers cannon.
As for season 4 I've seen bits and pieces and can't say that I was impressed so I might use some characters but my story has deviated quite a bit from cannon so don't expect much. I do like Ryan and Neuman's kid they looked cute together.
Let me know what you think in the reviews and don't be surprised if I use your idea.
Thank you for reading!