Originally posted on 11th March 2021.
QLFC prompt: Your character makes a promise to a dying loved one.
Bonus prompts: 3. (word) treasure, 9. (dialogue) "I'm sorry if I got your hopes up." and 12. (emotion) nostalgic
CCTC prompts: (object) house, (word) duty and (emotion) relaxed
…
Thanks to Toria_Crown99 for betaing the new version, and insertcleverandwittytitlehere, Fire the Canon and Queen Bookworm the First for betaing the original.
…
I've renamed Harry's kids so:
Jack = James Sirius
Alfie = Albus Severus
Laila = Lily Luna
…
…
…
"Teddy? Are you here yet?"
Teddy smiled to themself. When they were younger, the days Harry came to visit were the best. Still were. Even though it wasn't something they talked about often, Teddy found comfort in Harry, knowing he understood what it was like to lose both parents. And Teddy desperately sunk their nails into any sort of understanding they could get from people these days.
Plus, Harry always brought Teddy chocolate.
"One moment," they yelled, before crawling out of the wardrobe. Teddy liked fitting themself into small spaces for comfort, and this wardrobe brought forward a very special memory for them. After turning eleven and missing their parents terribly, Harry had brought them a picture of both their dads and their friends. It had previously been stuck to a wall with a very powerful sticking charm.
Teddy took a look around their childhood bedroom. It had been strangely bare for the last seven years, because most of their possessions were still at Hogwarts, including most pictures of their parents.
Harry appeared in the doorway, smiling sadly. "Ready to go?"
Teddy's heart sank, and they nodded mutely.
Andromeda had been ill for a while now, so Teddy visited her for a few hours every single weekend. They would go to Professor Sprout's office, take the floo home where Harry would meet them and take them to the hospital.
But it was okay. The treatment finally seemed to be working, and she had felt much better the last time they went to see her. She had looked much better too.
Harry held a comforting hand on their shoulder, leading them to the front desk at St Mungo's. They had become very familiar with the process by now, but the extra support from Harry was still appreciated.
"Relation to the patient?" the receptionist asked.
"He's her grandson, and I'm his godfather."
Teddy winced, but Harry didn't appear to notice.
The receptionist allowed them to move forward, and informed them of her room number as well, though it wasn't necessary. Teddy had visited her many times since she had been hospitalized, but they were still never prepared for the sight that would meet them when stepping into that room.
All colour was drained from Andromeda's thin, wrinkled face. Her hair appeared greyer and her eyes duller than ever.
Harry kept pushing them forward, still holding a hand to their shoulder, till they stood in front of her bed. She smiled tiredly.
Teddy forced air into their lungs, but it was hard. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Andromeda was supposed to be well again, Teddy wasn't supposed to lose another person. "I thought you said you were getting better."
Andromeda's smile faltered. "I thought I was. I'm sorry if I got your hopes up." She scooted over, inviting Teddy to lay down next to her, and she began running her hands through their hair. Out of the corner of their eye, Teddy saw it had turned brown.
As a metamorphmagus Teddy could change their appearance at will, and usually preferred keeping their hair any shade of blue. But when they were too focused on something else, it would go back to its original colour.
They spent the next couple of hours sitting together and looking through photo albums from when Teddy was a little kid. Everything had been much easier back then. Andromeda had been there to help them through everything all the time. And back then, they didn't have a sinking feeling in their stomach any time someone called them a boy.
…
"Teddy? Are you in here?"
Teddy peeked out from their den of blankets at the sound of their girlfriend's voice. Victoire stood in the doorway, smiling kindly, but her eyebrows were furrowed. She stood out in her Ravenclaw colour scheme in the yellow of the Hufflepuff dorm.
Teddy sat up on the bed, still with the blankets wrapped around them.
"You weren't at dinner," she commented, after carefully closing the door behind her.
They shrugged. "No, I… I didn't really want to be around everyone."
Victoire walked over to sit next to them on the bed, and pushed her strawberry blond hair out of the way so they could rest their head on her shoulder. She grabbed their hand, intertwining her fingers and giving a little squeeze. "I'm sorry," she said softly.
Teddy shook their head gently. Tears were already stinging in their eyes. "She's…" They could barely force the words past their lips. "She's doing worse, and–"
Their breath hitched, so Victoire squeezed tighter.
"Hey, it'll be okay," she whispered. Her touch was soft and gentle when she reached to wipe away a few tears from their cheek. Teddy kissed her fingers, prompting her to kiss their forehead right at the edge of their brown hairline. She reached into the pocket of her robes. "Chocolate?"
Teddy sniffled, then looked at the packaging. "Dad's favourite."
"Of course."
They let go of her hand to open it, then closed their eyes to take a big bite and savour the taste, before offering Victoire some as well. Both Harry and Andromeda had told Teddy about their dad's chocolate habits. Apparently, he would bring it with him everywhere and offer it to anyone who looked as if they needed it.
Teddy liked that.
They wish they had known him.
"I can't lose her," Teddy said suddenly. Andromeda meant everything to them. Their voice was thick when they tried speaking again. "I don't want to lose her. She's supposed to be here. I want her to be here for graduation, and for everything else in my life. I–"
Their breath hitched and no more words came out.
"I know," Victoire whispered. She pulled Teddy closer again, and they buried their nose in her neck. "There's still a chance, and everything will work itself out, right? You'll be okay. I know you will. You're the strongest boy I know."
Teddy didn't say anything.
…
Victoire was practically dragging Teddy along the corridors. There was a prefect meeting, and the two of them were already late, and although Victoire had tempted them with chocolate, Teddy wasn't too keen on going.
It'll be good for you. She kept saying. To take your mind off things.
She was right, but there was a specific reason Teddy didn't particularly like those meetings.
Victoire opened the door to the prefect meeting room, and immediately all eyes landed on the two of them. Clarita Hornby, who was Head Girl, narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. "Oh look, the Head Boy finally decided to show up."
Teddy ducked their head and walked the length of the room to sit beside her at the head of the table, ignoring the burning in their chest. Victoire smiled carefully at them from her seat. Hornby glared at them before turning her head and addressing the rest of the table.
"Now that he has shown up, we can finally begin." Hornby folded her hands on the table. "At the end of our last meeting, Lupin and I told you to bring ideas for the Christmas decorations this year. Each prefect pair will have two minutes to present, then we vote. The winners will oversee getting everything done, of course with assistance from Lupin and I."
Teddy tried to pay attention during the presentations, while sneak-eating chocolate anytime Hornby wasn't looking. Some of them were interesting, especially Victoire's, though Teddy supposed they were biased. Most of the ideas had been done before, but that was impossible to avoid. Though among Teddy's favourites were muggle-themed, ginger-bread house, and obviously, Winter Wonderland.
The meeting was going great until Hornby caught Teddy eating chocolate and gave them the stink eye.
In the end, the muggle-theme won. Teddy was intrigued. Both Grandma Hope and Grandpa Ted had grown up with muggle-Christmases, but Teddy's holidays had always been a mix, so they weren't exactly sure what was muggle and wizard traditions. Maybe this could shed some light onto that?
Hornby dismissed the prefects, but asked Teddy to stay, no doubt to scold them. Victoire smiled sympathetically before leaving as the last person and closing the door behind her.
"Lupin," Hornby said, voice strained. "As Head Boy, you need to set a good example for the prefects. You've been late to all the meetings lately and you barely pay attention. It just doesn't fly. You need to take your duties seriously, because being Head Boy is important."
The titles being gendered was pointless anyway. What if the two, three or even four people best for the job were the same gender? So, then they'd have the best and the fifth best person for the job just because they needed a person for each gender? But Teddy didn't say any of it. Couldn't say any of it.
Teddy had been looking at their hands since she began speaking. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll do better."
Hornby let out a long sigh, then walked out of the room. Victoire came back in a couple of minutes later, grabbed their hand and kissed it before gently dragging them out of the room, back to their dormitory.
…
"Did you hear the lead singer of the Weird Sisters came out?" Teddy asked after burning with that question all day.
They stared at Victoire over the top of the book they were pretending to read, trying to appear nonchalant. The two of them were sharing a couch in the Ravenclaw common room. It was star themed and full of books. Andromeda's family used to have star-themed names, but she broke that tradition after she left and had their mum. She still loved stargazing with Teddy, though.
Victoire placed a finger on the page she was reading. "So he's gay now?"
Teddy bit their lip. "No, er, I think the article said they're nonbinary. That means they're neither a boy nor a girl, I think. And you use they instead of he, when referring to them."
"That's a bit odd, isn't it?" she asked.
Their heartbeat quickened and they shifted in their seat. "Doesn't really matter, does it? If calling themself nonbinary makes them happy."
Victoire shrugged. "I suppose—still think it's at least a little weird, though."
Teddy hid their face behind the book to avoid answering, and Victoire didn't seem to notice. Her attention was already back to the book she had been reading.
After a few minutes of strangling silence, Teddy suddenly stood up. "I'm going to go now."
"Oh," Victoire put her book down. "Already?"
"Yeah, I'll get something to eat and take a nap. I'll see you later," they said. "Goodbye kiss?"
She smiled brightly. "Yes, please."
Teddy leaned down, holding a hand to the couch for balance, and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. Then they swiftly left the Ravenclaw common room. They wandered around aimlessly, unsure of where to go and how to feel, when suddenly someone called their name.
"Mr Lupin!"
Teddy almost burst into tears. They took a second to compose I, before turning around, and immediately all air left their body. Professor Sprout came walking towards them, but her expression terrified them.
"Your godfather wants you at St Mungo's immediately."
…
Teddy burst into the room, and all eyes were immediately on them.
Ginny and Harry were there already, holding each other's hands. Harry opened and closed his mouth, but no words came past his lips. The healers stood in one corner, talking in hushed tones amongst themselves. Teddy's eyes reluctantly landed on Andromeda. She was much paler than a week ago. Her breathing was shallow and weak.
She looked at them, trying to smile. "Treasure."
She used to call them that when they were a little kid and had picked it up again this past Summer.
"Grandma," they said, voice already thick with tears. Teddy rushed across the room, sitting on the bed and holding her hand. Harry and Ginny walked back, giving them some space.
Andromeda stroked their hands slowly.
"I love you, Treasure."
"Grandma, I—"
"No, let me speak." Her voice was so low, that Teddy had to lean closer. "You. Are. A. Treasure. Alright?" Slowly and shakily, she stroked their cheek. Her fingers were bony and cold, but Teddy wanted to be caressed by her forever. They were blinded by tears. "You're unique and wonderful and the best kid in the whole world."
Teddy didn't move.
"I know who you are," she continued. "Did you really think you could keep something like that from me? Please. I'm your grandma, Treasure. Of course, I know. And I love you." Andromeda was smiling, but it seemed to take every ounce of her strength to do so.
They wanted to do this properly but still spoke so low only she could hear them. "I'm nonbinary."
Andromeda smiled, then nodded. "Thank you for telling me."
Teddy opened and closed their mouth; they wanted to say something. Anything. But nothing made sense at that moment. They were overwhelmed with joy but simultaneously felt terrified because they knew the inevitable was happening.
"Treasure, listen to me carefully now, okay?" Her voice was even lower now. "It won't always be easy, and it might take time, but the right people will love you, for who you are. You have to stay true to yourself no matter what! Promise me you will."
They couldn't get the words out. Andromeda's grip was weakening, but she still kept holding on tight. She was struggling to keep her eyes open and was taking quick breaths. It was as if she was holding onto her life for just a few moments more.
"Promise me, Treasure!"
"I will," they said, vision blurry and voice thick. "I promise I'll be myself — I'll be proud of who I am, no matter what."
She nodded, satisfied. Leaning back against the bed, her hands slowly slipped from theirs.
Teddy breathed slowly, and those deep heaving breaths was all they could hear. All they could think about. Their heart was beating in their throat, strangling them. Harry came over and hugged them from behind, kissed the top of their head and then the tears began pouring out.
…
Andromeda's funeral came shortly after her passing.
Teddy didn't go back to Hogwarts for the rest of the semester. They spent their time wallowing in their room at the Potter's house. It was sparsely decorated as it was more a guest room for them, but kept that Hufflepuff colour scheme.
It had been a month, and Teddy was supposed to clear out their things from their old home, but they hadn't been able to yet.
Without their grandma the house was just…
Teddy curled up further.
Victoire had sent a lot of letters. They weren't about anything in particular, but Teddy liked having them anyway. She knew they were too down to answer. Hornby had even sent a letter, simply telling them not to worry about their Head Boy duties; that she would take care of everything.
It was sweet, but also left a sting in their heart.
There was a knock on the door, and it opened slightly, just enough for her mouth to fit through. "Can I come in?" Laila asked.
Teddy couldn't help the small smile that appeared on their lips. They sat up and allowed Laila to come inside, which she did, carrying a plate with honey cake with stretched arms. It had yellow and black glaze.
"Mum and me baked," she said proudly. Her wide grin exposed a missing front tooth.
"Thank you," they said before taking a bite. It was Andromeda's recipe and had been their mum's favourite when she was young. She baked it every year. Teddy closed their eyes to keep tears from falling down. They didn't want to cry in front of Laila.
"Mum asked me to ask you if you want dinner in your room or with us," she said.
"I'll have dinner with you," they answered.
Laila skipped out of the room and Teddy lied back down, abandoning the honey cake on their nightstand. All this Christmas preparation was bringing them down. This would be their first holiday without Andromeda, and it was just much too soon to be excited about anything.
When dinner time rolled around, Laila came into their room to inform them that Harry wanted them to set the table. So, Teddy dragged themself out of their little cocoon, into the kitchen and sat five sets of plates and cutlery on the table. For Harry, Ginny, Alfie, Laila and themself; Jack was returning from Hogwarts tomorrow.
Harry paused when he spotted them, then turned to Laila who was utterly failing at holding her laugh in. He wore a Christmas apron. "Laila, did you tell Teddy he had to set the table, when I asked you to do that?"
Teddy raised their eyebrow at Laila but couldn't find it in them to be angry; her laugh was too delightful.
"I don't mind," they told Harry, then turned to Laila again. "You owe me a bit of your dessert, though."
Teddy and Laila shook hands on it, and then she bounced out of the dining room. Without her giggles, the only sound was the Christmas music from the radio.
"She's in a bit of a pranking phase," Harry explained, and set down the lasagna he had brought from the kitchen. The two stood alone in the dining room now. "I think my dad's pranking-gene might have skipped a generation, so beware if you ever have kids."
Teddy smiled at that. "I inherited the ware-gene from mine, so I think I'll be fine."
Harry laughed at their pun, then brought the rest of the dinner to the table. During the meal, the Potters conversed while Teddy listened quietly. They rarely had the heart to participate, despite Laila's best, innocent efforts.
Alfie was in the middle of a riveting tale about trouble on the playground that day, when Ginny shushed him and waved her wand to turn up the volume on the radio. The Weird Sisters' new Christmas single was playing, and the whole table stopped to listen.
"I love his– their vocals," Ginny sighed once the song ended.
Teddy froze.
"That being one person, right? Myron Wagtail?" Harry checked, which Ginny confirmed.
Teddy ate as calmly as they could muster, but their heart was practically beating its way out of their chest.
…
After stepping into the living room, Teddy saw Victoire crouched down, nodding along to Laila who was babbling about Merlin knows what. She loved her cousin. Victoire met their eyes for a short moment, smiling gently, causing Teddy's heart to skip a beat.
Still, they waited patiently for Laila to finish her story.
Eventually she noticed Teddy's presence and pushed Victoire towards them. Teddy wrapped their arms tightly around her and breathed deeply. She smelled like the ocean.
The two moved to Teddy's room, hand in hand, to get some privacy behind closed doors. Victoire moved to the bed and Teddy met her there. They pushed her hair out of the way before placing a soft, sweet kiss on her lips.
"How are you?" she asked carefully.
Teddy shrugged. "Some days are better than others. This one is alright."
"Good." She pushed her hand through their blue hair. Her fingers were a bit cold, but soft and gentle with their touch. Teddy leaned into her hand. It felt good to just be held and cared for sometimes. There wasn't a single thing anyone could say that would make Teddy feel better about their loss. But not being alone in it filled the void, even just a little.
"I read about Myron Wagtail's gender journey in a magazine," Victoire said suddenly.
"Yeah?" Teddy said, unsure of how this conversation would go, considering their last talk about them.
"I think I get it now," she said, then bit her lips. Her hands moved down to intertwine their fingers, so Teddy distracted themself by focusing on that. "As well as I can without experiencing it myself. But what they said about just feeling like themselves? Themself? And not really a gender. And the part about gender roles in society… it was all very interesting. So, I get it now."
Teddy barely dared to breathe.
"Gender can be pretty stupid," they landed on eventually.
"Yeah," she laughed. "I've never really… I don't know. Seen gender in that way. I think I wouldn't really care about the gender of the person I was dating. So that's my way of coming out, I guess."
Victoire looked at them no different from how she always did. She didn't seem nervous or hesitant at all, so Teddy decided to respond by squeezing her hand. "That's great… as long as you still like me," they joked.
She grinned. "Don't worry. There's no way you'll be getting rid of me now."
They were both quiet for a moment. Teddy couldn't help but feel there was something else to be said. A blank space for them to fill. Victoire certainly looked like she was waiting for them to, so Teddy opened their mouth, but didn't get to speak before the door to their bedroom opened suddenly, causing them to practically jump off the bed.
Harry stood in the doorway, bearing an unnaturally wide smile. "We keep the bedroom door open in this house," he said.
"Sorry." Their heart was beating rapidly from the shock.
Andromeda had done the same thing on multiple occasions this past Summer before she had gotten ill. Harry walked away, none the wiser to the rising sadness filling them up. It wasn't Harry's fault of course… things were just hard sometimes.
With the moment gone, Teddy buried themself in Victoire's arms and let a few stray tears fall down their cheek.
They wished Andromeda was here.
…
Teddy was having one of their off days.
They would feel okay in one moment, but fell apart in the next.
All day long Teddy had been cooped up in their room; not going out for meals nor anything else. Laila had come by to chat and Harry had to tell her to leave them alone. She was just too small. She didn't understand, but Merlin Teddy wished someone would. That anyone in the world knew this part of them. Who they were and who they wanted to be.
By the time Harry came into their room, they had been staring at a white wall for who knew how many hours. Teddy didn't even really realize that Harry was in the room before he sat on the bed.
There was a moment of silence before: "Want some ice cream?"
Teddy brought their fuzzy blanket into the dining room where Harry had already put out five different tubs of ice cream and two bowls. They filled their bowl with chocolate and mint, because it was their dad's and mum's favourite respectively. Andromeda loved mint as well.
It was well past midnight, and Teddy's entire body begged for sleep, but they just couldn't. Teddy was leaning their head on their hand to stay upright.
"So, how's it going with, er…" Harry shrugged. "Victoire?"
"S'good," they answered.
Silence settled between them again.
"How about your Head Boy perks? I still think about the Prefects Bathroom sometimes, it–"
"Harry," their voice trembled.
He stopped talking. For every deep breath Teddy took, the room was filled with strangling tension.
"I don't like…" that word. That title. Genders and expectations and being alone in this. Their eyes moved to the ice cream bowl. It was melting slowly in the warmth of this home. Trembling, they said; "I'm not a boy." With a steadier voice, they continued, "I'm nonbinary."
Harry was silent for a beat. "Like Myron Wagtail?"
They lifted their head to see Harry's reaction. He was frowning, but didn't look angry or disappointed, so Teddy nodded.
"So… it's great, first of all!" Harry spoke quickly, causing the corners of Teddy's lips to pull slightly upwards. "Second, do you want to change your name? Or pronouns or anything?"
"I want to keep it, my nickname, at least. And I use they/them."
'Edward' had always felt a bit formal. They didn't know if they wanted to go through the effort of changing their legal name. Teddy didn't even know what it would look like to be nonbinary in the real world. Being out to friends and family was all they could handle at the moment, and barely that.
"Good." Harry nodded to himself. "And I suppose I use he/him."
Teddy's heart swelled inside their chest, and it caused tears to build up in their eyes as well. It only took one tear to fall down their cheek for Harry to move to the other side of the table and hold them while they fell apart.
…
Teddy was watching a Christmas movie in the living room with Jack, Alfie and Laila when Harry came out of the fireplace. They didn't pay any attention to him at first, and didn't notice how long he stood still.
"Teddy, can I see you in your room for a moment?"
A bit apprehensively they followed Harry. It had been only a couple of days since Teddy had come out to him, and not much had changed. Except that Harry made an effort to avoid gendered language. It was funny to see him struggle to string a simple sentence together, but more than anything, it was heartwarming.
Harry had a couple of books clutched in his arms.
As soon as they sat on the bed, Harry began speaking. "I was looking through your grandma's loft. It has some boxes we moved out of your parents' house, and I found a couple of things I wanted to show you. This was your dad's." He took the first notebook and flipped to a certain page before handing it to Teddy.
It was a diary entry. Their dad described a day in Hogsmeade that he spent with Sirius, Harry's godfather. Teddy's eyes moved slowly over the words, imagining their dad was sitting in front of them and saying those things. The first revelation Teddy made was that their dad clearly held fond feelings for Sirius, given how many words he used to describe his hair. The second was that he used both he and they when referring to them.
"I've read that some people who are nonbinary might use multiple pronouns, and so I think Sirius did that. And I think your dad might have dated them? So, er." Harry then opened a photo album, one that Teddy had seen many times before, though admittedly, it had been a while.
"Your mum always had a very relaxed approach to gender," Harry continued. "I never thought anything of it, because it was just the way she was, but…" he pointed out different photos in the album, from throughout her life. They changed widely in terms of gender representation. The task was made easier because she was a metamorphmagus, but at times she looked almost completely like a man, and at others fully like a woman, but was most commonly something in between.
Teddy hadn't paid attention to it before, like Harry said, it was just who she was. That was how Teddy had always felt in terms of gender; not like a boy or a girl. Just themself.
Harry then cleared his throat. "I wanted you to know, because I know I have always wondered whether my parents would be proud of me and accept me. And I think that because Sirius was nonbinary, and your mum might have been too? And your dad dated both: your parents would accept you for who you are, so… there you go."
Teddy breathed out slowly. Tears were pressing against their eyes, but they didn't want to cry right now. Not with this amazing thing in front of them.
"Your parents were friends with Sirius," they said, because it was the best way they could express their gratitude to Harry. "They must have accepted him. So they'd be proud of you for accepting me."
Harry's eyes glinted and he didn't say anything at first; perhaps finding this just as amazing and overwhelming as Teddy did. After regaining his composure, he handed the rest of the notebooks to them.
"I thought maybe we could take a look through these together? Learn something more about our dads and Sirius."
They nodded, wanting nothing more than that.
Teddy had possibly never felt as loved as they did now. It gave them the courage to believe they could one day be themself with the rest of the special people in their life.
And they figured Andromeda would be proud of them for that.
…
…
…
I wrote the original version of this back when I first discovered I'm nonbinary and it feels so special to give Teddy the ending they deserve.