Everyone is gathered around the table for lincoln's birthday.
Lynn jr: ok guys let's all sing happy birthday to lincoln!
Everyone: (singing) crappy birthday to you, crappy birthday to you, we all fucking hate you, so goddamn much!
Lincoln: that's not nice!
Lucy: we don't care, now eat your fucking cake.
Lincoln: can i at least have a present?
Rita: oh yeah, your present is outside. Go get it!
Lincoln walks over to the door and heads outside, but rita shuts the door on him.
Lincoln: huh? BITCH DID YOU JUST LOCK ME OUT?!
Rita: (laughs) i locked lincoln out.
Lynn sr: really? Great job, honey!
Lana: does this mean we get to have his presents?
Rita: hell yeah!
Lola opens up one of lincoln's presents: a skateboard.
Lola: yay! I've always wanted a skateboard!
Luna opens up another one of lincoln's presents: a drumset.
Luna: Yes! I've been needing a new drumset for a while.
Lucy opens up another one of lincoln's presents: a diary.
Lucy: always wanted one of these…
Outside, lincoln angrily watches as his sisters continue to open his presents.
Lincoln: those bastards kicked me out of my own birthday! I've gotta get revenge!
Back inside, lynn sr begins devouring all of lincoln's cake, while the others engage in multiple activities: throwing balloons everywhere, ripping apart the birthday banner, etc.
Lynn jr: dad, why exactly did we do this to lincoln?
Lynn sr: well, lynn, if im being completely honest with you, me and your mother didnt really want lincoln, so that's why we're treating him like shit.
Lisa: father, can i have some of lincoln's cake?
Lynn sr: nope! Its all mine!
Suddenly lincoln comes back into the house driving an m1 sherman tank.
Lincoln: you ruined my birthday so now im gonna ruin your house!
Lincoln presses a button and shells begin blasting out and exploding everywhere.
Lynn sr: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, LINCOLN! THAT'S IT!
Lynn sr. charges up atomic breath in his mouth and blasts it out onto lincoln, sending him flying across the house.
Lincoln: owww….
Lynn sr: now im gonna beat the shit outta you!
Lynn sr charges up a super ultra mega cosmic godly heavenly omnipotent omniscient omnipresent true supreme ultimate omega sigma delta maximum boundless energy wave in his fist and punches lincoln transcendently hard right in the face.
Lincoln: (starts crying from the pain)
Lynn sr: YOU'RE TRIPLE QUADRUPLE QUINTUPLE GROUNDED! ROOM, NOW! GET OUT OF MY FACE! YOU'RE NOT MY SON ANYMORE!
Lincoln runs off to his room crying and screaming like a little bitch.