The Beifongs, Zhu Li, and Bolin sat around the campfire after they escaped Kuvira's troops.
"So, you actually 'saw' Su get captured by Kuvira? Through the vines?". Bolin asked Toph. His eyes were wide and shining with awe. "That's wild!".
"I sensed that she was in danger. And I 'saw' flashes". Toph answered as she ate out of her instant ramen bowl. "I knew she needed help. That was a reckless move on Su's part. Kuvira is not to be underestimated".
"I wanted to take her down before things escalated". Su said defensively. "She was ready for us".
"But, how does that work?" Opal asked curiously. "How can vines show you things that happen far away in different parts of the world?".
Toph put her ramen bowl down. "The bunion grove tree of the swamp is as old as time. Its roots run deep and far. When you are strongly connected to someone, you can always sense how they are doing, by focusing on their spiritual energy through the vines". She explained. "Su is my daughter. Of course, I'd sense if she was in danger".
Lin stared at her mother. Her mind raced back to the time when Amon attacked Republic city. The mere thought got her heartrate going up. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead as her heart ran thousand miles per hour.
Toph's head turned towards Lin. "What's going on with you? Your heart is beating like crazy".
Lin tried her hardest to steady her heartbeat. She took deep breaths, but to no avail. Her heart pounded in her chest as she remembered the eerie sensation of Amon's thumb on her forehead, and the emptiness that followed. On top of that, another realization dawned on her. Her mother never saw any of that. If she did, she did not care enough to show up and help Lin as she did for Su.
As her thoughts raced, Lin's heart rate spiked so high that it became difficult to breath. Toph raised a brow. "Lin, spit it out". She said, a hint of concern in her voice. "At this rate, your heart will explode".
Lin closed her eyes and counted to ten, taking steadying breaths all the while. When her breathing became easier again, Lin slowly stood up, putting down her own ramen bowl.
"Nothing". She said to no one in particular. "I just need some fresh air that's all".
With that Lin left the campsite to walk towards the cliff side nearby. She heard Toph scoff. "What? We are surrounded by woods!".
As she sat on the cliff, her feet dangling off the edge, Lin swept away the tears that rolled down her face. It all made so much sense now. She had always hoped for the kind of love Toph showed Su when they were kids. This time, Lin truly understood why her and Toph's relationship was difficult compared to Toph's and Su's. There was no real connection between them, a connection that a mother would have with her daughter. An unbreakable bond that prevails no matter what. Her mother had brought her to this world simply because she had no other choice. She was Toph's mistake. The child Toph did not want. Toph had not known what motherly love was until she had her lovechild, Su.
After a while, Lin heard soft feet padding behind her. Moments later, Suyin sat beside her, and peeped into Lin's face.
"What's going on?" She asked without beating around the bush. Classic Su.
Lin did not reply. She stared into the distance for a while until she felt Su's hand grab her shoulder and gave her a little shook. "Lin…". Su prompted.
Lin turned to look Su in the eye. "Nothing". She said wanting to sound dismissive, but the word came out a lot softer than she liked.
Su was flabbergasted by the soft reply. At best, she was expecting an abrasive 'I'm fine!' from Lin. There was no frown on her face, no growl in her voice. Lin was acting strange.
"Lin, what's wrong? Talk to me!". Su said yet again, as her grip on Lin's shoulder tightened. "Was it something mom said?".
Mentioning of Toph made Lin look away, confirming Su's suspicion. "Did you two have a row again?".
Lin swallowed. It was not easy talking about losing her bending. The fact that Toph did not see it happen made it worse. It was the thought of Toph that kept Lin going until Korra restored her bending. Those happy memories of her childhood she treasured, training with Toph, the delight in Toph's voice and her shining eyes the first time Lin metal bent. The pure happiness that radiated from Toph as Lin excelled at metal bending in an alarming rate. Since then, Lin had done everything she could to see her mother that happy. But apparently, it was all unrequited.
"I don't know if you remember Amon's attack on Republic city". Lin said a moment later.
"Of course I do". Su replied, letting her hand fall on to her lap. "Thankfully, none of you were hurt".
"I died Su". Lin said quietly. Su's head turned furiously towards Lin; her eyes wide. She stared disbelievingly at Lin.
Without daring to look at Su, Lin went on. "I was captured, beaten, electrocuted, and finally he took my bending because I refused to give him Korra's whereabouts".
From the corner of her eyes, Lin saw Su cover her mouth with her hand in shock.
"As I laid on the prison floor that night, my heart gave away slowly, and it stopped at one point. I remember crossing to the spirit realm. It was beautiful. So peaceful. I wish I could go back".
"Lin!". Su cried out. "No!".
"I saw Aang". Lin mumbled. The mere memory of him made her smile despite her throbbing heart. "He found me in the spirit realm and convinced me to go back. Said I should not stay, that it wasn't my time yet. And when I opened my eyes, I was back in the physical realm. Asami and Tenzin were kneeling next to me. Asami had apparently used her electric glove to shock and revive my heart".
Su stared, apparently at a loss of words. A tear rolled down her face as she watched Lin looked as if she was at peace all of a sudden.
Lin turned to look Su in the eyes again. "I died Su, and mom never sensed any of it". She said, with a sad smile. "I never understood why our relationship was so difficult. But now I get it. You are her daughter. I am the mistake she was too noble to get rid of, and had to put up with until she no longer could".
At those words, Su grabbed both Lin's shoulders and shook her violently. "Don't you dare talk like that. You know that's not true".
Lin patiently grabbed hold of Su's hands and removed them from her shoulders.
"It's okay". She said, giving Su's hands a gentle squeeze. "It gives me peace. I've been looking for an unrequited love for so long. Knowing for a fact that there was no real connection to begin with, helps".
"Lin, you are being unfair". Su shot back as her voice shook. "Mom loves you more than anything. I don't know why she did not sense you when you had been in danger, but I'm sure there's a good explanation. And it's not the one you think".
"It's fine Su," Lin mumbled. "Don't feel too bad for me. She gave me enough to keep going. It's just that my expectations were too high. But now, I know what to expect. So, I'll be fine".
Su could not respond to that as Toph shouted from behind them. "What are you two doing out here? What's wrong with both of you? I just sensed Su's heart beating like a crazy. What is happening? Spit it out now!".
Lin stood up dodging Su's hand that tried to stop her. "Nothing out of the ordinary". She replied to Toph. "Everyone should get some sleep. I'll take the first watch". With that she started walking towards the campsite.
Toph held out an arm and stopped Lin. "Hold it right there Lin. Tell me what's troubling you. I could sense that you were upset back there. Very upset. Now Su is sad. What is the matter?".
Lin did not look at Toph. "Nothing. I just realized something, and it made me a little upset at first. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make Su sad".
Toph frowned at this uncharacteristic behavior of Lin. "What is the matter with you Lin Beifong?". She asked half-jokingly. "Since when you apologize for making Su upset?".
Lin shrugged and started to walk away again.
"Lin, you should tell mom". Su shouted as she got up. "You should give her a chance to explain".
"Tell me what?". Toph asked, turning from Lin to Su. "Quit messing around and start talking right now, both of you! Stop driving me mad with all these riddle talk!".
Lin turned to look at Su and shook her head very slightly, which did not go unnoticed by Toph's super seismic sense.
"Don't you dare pull one on me now girls!". She said pointing her finger at Lin. "I'm your mother, I know all your lil tricks. They might work on any other blind mom, but not on me".
Lin, despite herself, caught Su's eye and let out a lopsided smile. Nostalgia the situation brought back was too much to handle.
"You do not get to show up after twenty years and boss me around". She said with a soft chuckle, deciding not to dwell on the bitter truth about their relationship. What they have now was good enough for her to be at peace. "Try and get some sleep. Looks like you could use it".
"Mom, why didn't you show up to help Lin when she was taken by Amon?". Su asked before Lin could stop her. "Did you not see it happen?".
Lin shot a glare at Su. "I told you, it's fine. I'm fine with the way things are". She said taking a step forward and placing a hand on Toph's shoulder. "Mom, you don't have to answer that".
Toph stayed very still for a moment. She slowly turned her head towards Lin and spoke in an almost whisper. "He found you, did he not?". Lin looked flabbergasted.
"I saw your heart giving away, I saw you fading, I saw you giving up all hope. I couldn't get to you in time even if I tried. So, I did the only thing I've always done when I needed help with you. I called Aang. I prayed to the Avatar spirit asking him to go save you. And he came through as he had always done".
Su smiled. Lin took a defensive step back. Toph fully turned to face Lin. "Sit with me Lin". She said, bending three seats with a flick of her wrist.
Lin stayed standing, not wanting to believe what she heard. It was easier to believe that she was not loved like Su. All evidence and facts lead to that undisputed conclusion. Hearing Toph mention her encounter with Aang in the spirit world added a whole new dimension to their relationship.
She felt Su drag her down and made her sit on the freshly bent chair next to Toph.
"You are my first-born Lin". Toph said, looking directly at Lin. "I did not know what I was doing. I was terrified. I thought I'd end up suffocating you, or crushing you if I held you wrong. As an infant, you sensed my fear, my nervousness. You were never calm around me for good three, four months. You would always cry or squeal, and I would end up calling Aang and Katara for help". She went on, smiling slightly. "Aang could sooth you very easily. He would just take you in his arms and you start giggling immediately. Sometimes, I just wanted to give you a good whooping for liking him better than me. If I dared take you from him, you would stubbornly hold your breath, until I pass you back to him".
Lin stared as she watched Toph's features became soft and melancholy as she recalled the past. "Our relationship has not been easy from the start Lin". Toph went on. "But it does not mean I love you any less. It's not your fault I was a crappy mother. It's on me".
"How did you know it worked?". Su asked, sparing a glance at Lin who stared at Toph with a stoic expression on her face.
"I was watching over Lin. It was the only thing I could do given the circumstances". Toph replied. "I was able to call Katara weeks later, after I felt like it's safe to leave the swamp, where I had access to vines, and by extension, to you both".
Lin stood up. "I'll take the first watch". She said.
Su huffed. "That's all you have to say?".
Lin turned to Su and shrugged. "I don't know what else to say. Frankly, I prefer the spirit world over this one".
Su stared at Lin disbelievingly for a whole different set of reasons this time.
"What the heck Lin?". Su spat, standing up and opening her arms. "A minute ago, you were so upset about mom not coming to rescue you. Now you wish she had not?".
"I wasn't upset because she didn't come to my rescue". Lin replied looking sideways at Toph. "I never wanted to live after that night. I chose to die the moment I jumped off Oogie".
"You what?!" Toph and Su yelled in unison. Lin had to take a step back as Su advanced with a frown on her face. "How do you think I was captured? We were being chased, so, I jumped on to their airship from Oogie's saddle and attacked to give Tenzin's family time to escape".
"How come you never told us any of this?" Su asked furiously. "How come that jerk Tenzin never mentioned any of this?"
"It's not important". Lin said dismissively. "I was upset earlier because I thought mom didn't sense it happen. But apparently, she did, and cared enough to send Baldy to the rescue. Hooray, I lived!".
"Lin, when will you quit complaining?" Toph asked throwing her arms in the air.
"Oh' trust me I'm done!" Lin chuckled yet again. "That's why I asked Su to not tell you. Growing up, I wanted was to feel that I was loved. I know you love me, but I've not felt it like Su does. Love should be felt. Not convinced. I think it's too late for that, and I can find peace with what we have".
Toph abruptly stood. She walked to stand right in front of Lin and stared at her eldest for a moment. Then, she suddenly broke into a smile. "You are quiet the challenge Lin. It reminds me why I do love you". She said, drawing Lin into a lingering hug. "I'm glad you lived".