Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever (Redux)
Go-Karting With Bowser (Chapter 1)
Author note: Prepare for Redux Redux. Until this note is removed, stop if you don't see the 'RR24' at the top, though the story is complete. Some later parts might not match up with the earlier rewritten chapters, however.
~Zoom! A mushroom-powered racer in fourth makes a detour for a trick ramp, soaring across the sky, a picture-perfect sweep of their silhouette across the moon. Snap! A photo was taken. Then- Screech! The camera pans. The racer in eighth overshoots a tight curve, sparks flying from the impact against sturdy rails, just separating them from death. The racer aft of them, not so fortunate, simply falls right off. The view swivels quickly. Many meters ahead, the first-place racer is alerted by a shrill ping of heat-seeking red shells. Expertly, all are dodged~
All par for the course of 'Mario Kart'. Heroes, villains, and everyone in between invited by the famous plumber competed on streets, dirt trails, underwater, through sand, snow, and whatever Cheese Land was supposed to be for arbitrary prizes. It was more about the stakes-free association, where those labels were inconsequential. Mario let everyone think the infamous track of Rainbow Road had no significance, but he wanted to leave Earth for a bit, where ironically he was breathing better. A Special Cup circuit, the track was as intimidating as it was a sight to behold, a 2,000m ribbon-like band perpetually suspended high in the stratosphere, no extra charge for the starry light show in the background. Only the occasional rail and Lakitu's diligence separated the racers from certain doom! Or that was what Mario and co told MKTV at least. As for the racer in the Bullet Blaster front running, the danger was real. -And that danger was the lack of it.
Mario sat up a little straighter in the paddled leather seat, wondering if he should sandbag. Checking his map, there was a blip breaking from the pack, zoning in. He peeped at their face from the mirror, scrunched up and knotty, red eyes narrowed, gripping so tightly on the wheel it might snap in half. Mario never knew zippy little Pipe Frame karts could withstand the abuse of King Bowser Koopa, and that would be the least of his surprises.
Hearing the alarm of red shells, there was that trouble the red plumber pined for. Dealing with an anti-gravity section simultaneously, his snaking technique to outwit the shells went awry, brakes locking up as he skidded out of the spiral. Hitting the normal track again, the red missile struck a banana instead of him and he was unscathed after all, just with company revving up parallel.
"Thanks for keeping first place warm for me, Mustache! Ha ha!" Bowser held position, wafting dark smoke on him, and losing a few bolts. In exchange for the ability to slam everyone around, though collisions had occurred judging by the scrapes in the orange paint job, the king had the acceleration to recover from mistakes and balanced stats elsewhere to be strategic.
"Be careful what you wish for," Mario chuckled. "Wouldn't wanna overheat." He tossed over a fireball he'd been saving. Bowser's mug was priceless as he spun out. Catching a break though, a booster panel caught him right back up, or close enough to ogle Mario's choice of vehicle suddenly.
"-Did you rent that thang from the hangar? I was stalking that place ALL DAY and I never saw ya," he approached casually.
No wonder there were complaints about that.. "A local friend," the plumber answered over his shoulder. "You wouldn't know him."
"What?!" Bowser must have slammed against the wheel, making a brief honk. "I know all of your pals- you know, to use against you at some point obviously, so who's this friend of yours that I don't know?!"
Mario pretended to be too focused on racing. The 'friend' was Gill T. Their neighbor back home had a famous way back when anti-koopa single out and it might get awkward.
"Fine! This'll help ya remember."
After Bowser slapped a bob-omb in his way, Mario swerved for a trick ramp. Bouncing off of it and winning a single banana from an item box, he realized all of his buffoonery had allowed more racers to catch up for the final lap.
"Woohoo!"
Boosted by golden mushrooms, Toad zoomed past Mario and Bowser's stunned faces, traveling far until he spun out on stray bananas. A green dinosaur, also green at operating motored karts and yet a natural at it anyway, took a mushroom-less shortcut to insert himself in the top three slots. Mario kept an eye on his best friend, aft and to the left of him in a Wild Wing with the hazard lights unintentionally flashing. Yes unintentionally. T. Yoshisaur was like their grandpa, except one that 'crept' at 90 mph instead of 9. He and Mario tended to not target each other, so it was the other encroaching racer to worry about. Hitching a free ride beyond most with a bullet bill item and barreling beyond Yoshi, if poofed into Bowser Junior in a Rally Romper.
Dreading being sandwiched between two Bowsers, Mario took the longer path of the fork in the road on purpose. He needed better items to cut through this dense bunch on the narrowing vivid roads. A hyper-speed thundercloud victim ignored Koopa, a local jogger, Toadette of Peach Castle, Luigi Mario who was.. Mario hoped everyone knew by then, Donkey Kong a rare VIP guest, and Birdo from the mysterious Subcon, to hunt him down specifically. Mario shuddered. Some said he had the floor of the castle all to himself to contain his crazy! Mario wildly weaved around to shake him before executing a last-ditch maneuver. He darted off the side and plopped down on a lower section of the track, rear tires barely making it.
"Phew!"
Mario craned over to Bowser.
"I mean, good riddance," he ranted at his side. "Those losers were stealing the spotlight! It's all about OUR rivalry ain't it?"
The plumber felt his hair rise. What a profound statement. Or maybe-
Thunder clapped. ZAP! Rainbow Road was shrouded by a flash so bright it was seen deep into the heavens.
...
"Lightning Strike? Y/N?"
The Great Eldstar tapped 'yes' on the pager and tossed it into a cubby near the throne, missing horrendously and sending the thing clacking on his white marbled floors, batteries rolling. Groaning, more from the headache than that mishap no one saw anyway, the star dropped to his feet.
"This is so exciting!" chimed from behind his half-ajar door. A star kid at work today, Twink. "But, can I change my bet?"
"Hm. What did you wager?" replied one of the ancients, Klevar, arms filled with formidable books.
A pause. "My allowance."
"Oof, you gotta be! -Ah hem, oh dear. Hold this will you?... Thank you. I'll ensure Misstar won't leave you penniless, but let this be a lession."
"Yay thanks! ..Wait we don't use pennies up here.."
Eldstar watched the pair stroll past his doorway, armed with more context. The racer that requested such divine assistance was unusually versed in the stars...
A miniaturized Mario came too, afterimages blotting out all but the peripherals of his vision. Blindly he overtook Bowser and remained lead-footed, remembering that there was one last curve before the finish line when weightlessness followed by a hard tug startled him. His vision was returning as Lakitu's rod hauled him back on track. Bowser's smug grin, baring sharp white teeth as he drove by was infuriating, though as solace no confetti erupted for him seconds later. The racer in the experimental, unregistered, not even finished pink yet like it was inevitably going to be, kart was all but forgotten in the back of the pack, a true sandbagger. Mario knew he should have just gone for that.
...
Princess Peach blew kisses at the crowd, especially Mario, heading over the medal. She was suited for racing and pristine, unlike the rest of the scorched racers packing up as MKTV sidestepped them and circled the sovereign of the Mushroom Kingdom and blurted out questions.
"...I have no secrets I suppose." She flipped her hair, a little tense, and summed it up. "I simply, try my best."
They moved on to Mr. Toad, sporting a silver medallion. Mario couldn't spot him anymore behind those Jugem's clouds, though he understood why he was the next victim of the paparazzo gang. The Toad of Toads was seen more as a celebrity than a saint like Peach, though in a poorly elaborated way, Mario recalled that his stature was so lothly half the kingdom was his ancestral property. Or someone made that up. Anyway, the third-place winner was not exactly a no-show, more like a not-yet. Sliding shut and locking up the metal doors of the garage, baking under those bright stadium lights, Mario was eager to skip out of there, an agitated and ambivalent at once feeling settling in his stomach. Luigi was carpooling with some others to meet up with Daisy, due to arrive early morning in Toad Town, so he'd have to drive home with only worn cassette tapes as his company.
"There you freaking are!" The ambusher's huge spiky shadow enveloped the plumber.
Mario spun into the Koopa King, with another future one on his shoulders, the child distracted at the moment with a bag of lemon candy from the nearest snack machine, otherwise filled with stale space food or soda. This domestic imagery on display was another way Bowser was breaking trends these days. That facet of him was intriguing. Too much.
"Well?"
Mario scrambled to untuck the trinket from within his shirt. "Ease up! I can't play tomorrow if you pulverize me first."
"Did I yell then? Thought I didn't." Bowser appeared to genuinely mean that as he snatched the medal away, handing it to Junior to play around with. Mario could have sworn his trophy case was filled with cobwebs lately. "So 'bout that game. What is it?"
"Tennis."
"-Well you play a million. Hard to keep up. Anyway, I wanted to talk to ya about that. Come on." Bowser made his way off into the rocky Star Road landscape. The plumber stared for a second then ran up.
"H-huh?"
"This pact thing was perfect, obviously 'cause it came from me and my ideas are great!"
"-The pact was my idea, Bowser."
"Whatever. I really like this hanging around ya and terrifying your folks in person instead of you crushing my castles or us having to resort to those secret phone conversations-"
Mario tripped on his own feet in that moment, kicking in the process a big rock that went 'ouch!'
"Why I oughta.." The Moon Cleft charged, shuffling under Mario's boots as he lept over them.
Disappearing behind the lip of a crater, Mario landed with a roll and scoped around rapidly- at least until someone broke the tension.
"Ha! Where was that reaction time during the race?"
Mario rolled his eyes, swatting at the moon dust on his kneecaps. "Good question.."
"Can I try that too?" Junior hopped off of his papa's shell, slipping away from him to chase the baddie. At least Mario got a laugh in return as Bowser tried to scoop him up and missed, falling flat on his face.
"You know, since you sent that tyke to Koopa Scouts instead of having your evil grandpa, no offense- Kamek watch him, his behavior was almost normal. Maybe not."
"Grrr..." Bowser crawled back up. "Shut your trap before I decide to send you home via cannon."
The drone of an airship approaching masked Mario's quip. Huge Doomships, dreadnoughts with propellers, cacophonic, with a tendency to list erratically, they hadn't been spotted in ages.
"Get on!" Bowser yelled in his ear, waving over as an anchor was lowered and promptly smashed into the roof of one of the auxiliary garages. Lakitu and space toads scurried out screaming for their lives. "Whoops!.. I got the rookies driving this one, not my kids. You understand right?"
"I don't!"
"What?"
"I don't!"
"What?" Bowser secured the plumber by both sides and raised him to his level. "Now what?"
"Don't do this!" Mario squirmed, flushing.
"Well I couldn't catch what cha was sayin!"
"Not the hugging part. I mean- yeah this part too, but I can't let people see me in your airship!"
Bowser dropped him with a flash of offense, folding his arms. "What was the point of YOUR Peace Pact then? Mr. Hero is scared of people spottin ya with your old enemy?... Point is- why can't we just hang out?!"
Mario's gaze slid over to the stretch of land devoid of development, where lunar terrain met twinkling stars and there were no clefts or yux or other aliens patrolling. If he was to have an unfettered walk that way, forgetting everything he was up until now, the zen just might overshadow his regrets, and that sent a shiver through him.
Bowser snapped his fingers in his face, staring at him funny. Mario stared harder though, because beyond the Koopa King was a roaring inferno. The doomship scrapped across the tin roof and the sparks lit the gasoline stored around. Maybe that wasn't a best practice in retrospect, but it wasn't exactly easy to start a fire in an oxygen-deprived area either. Bowser and minions were special like that. Following impact the ship plunged into the ground, shook them off their feet, and careened off a cliff, bow stabbing a corner of Rainbow Road, which shattered like glass. Propellers broke and the engines were cut, everything silent.
"This is why." Sighing, Mario brushed beyond Bowser to rush over and help in any way he could.
Bowser watched for a moment and then knew what to do. He whipped over to his child, moon jumping with a toy K64 replica in hand. "Junior, quick! Gimme your sketch pad."
...
Keep your friends close and enemies closer. Merely some stock quote in the past, when having a romp across enemy-filled kingdoms was so exhilarating he refused salary until the Mushroom folks forced him to and built the brothers a fantastic house in a prestigious sector of the town, it was a reality now and the sword of Damocles swung inches above his head. He was the 'flawless' paragon of one side and the 'irredeemable' enemy of the other. 'These nations shall never quarrel again', the pact stated and technically they weren't, but Mario forgot about another war, raging intensely in a hidden place.
Leaving the Star Road ER late, thankful to the stars that the smoke didn't make the MK staff croak too badly or make him hit the ground blue in the face from asthma, a skittish nurse flagged him down on the way out, passing along a letter. The written in crayon part is what really made it deranged:
"To Mario only (OR ELSE): This is 'You know who'. I really didn't mean to screw with those no-name extra losers. You know I only do that with people that are special to me! I'll make it up to you with this genius plan. I'll be your tennis partner tomorrow and when we win, I'll say I'm donating the proceeds or some crap. You get to look good, cause you even got someone like me to do something nice. (Note: I'm not doing something nice. I'm JUST pretending) and I get a [this part scratched out] trophy for once.- MORE trophies for my overfilled case. I've already threatened all the organizers to switch it around, don't worry about that. Get ready!"
Blanched, Mario folded the letter up. His original- no Bowser wasn't about to railroad him. His real tennis partner was-
To be continued...
2022/3 update: Hello everyone, while this shares the story ID of another 'Redux' I wrote around 2019-21, this is a new story now. The original is on my website, see profile.
Completed (for my reference): 5/16/19, 5/17, 5/26/19, 6/2, 6/4, 6/10. Edit: 6/20/19, 6/23, 7/1. Revise: 1/12/22, 1/13. Edit: 11/12/23
RR: 9/9/24