Hermione grabbed a vial of detox potion, pain relief potion, vitamins, and electrolyte drink. Dawn was on the horizon, and Miller would soon call for training to start.

When she got to the servant's kitchen the door was still locked. After a few tries, she soon found the counter spell that allowed her to enter.

Draco and Blaise looked different in the shadow of the early morning. Even as they remained sitting against the cabinets where they had fallen asleep several hours before. Draco's head had fallen back against the cabinet, and his arm that was wrapped around Blaise's middle was now relaxed against his side. Blaise was still reclined against his chest, his head resting on Draco's shoulder. Neither had worry or scrutiny painted across their faces.

They looked so young.

It nearly took her breath away. The way their eyes were peacefully closed, and lips pouting and slightly parted. There wasn't a line on their faces- not from joy or distress. If the world was different, they would wake that day to recover from a wild night at Uni. Not an evening of drinking away their losses from war. Th purple bruising surrounding their eyes would come from the pressure of exams and preparing for their future professions rather than carrying the weight of the world.

How fucking cruel it was. Even today, the Advisory looks at them and sees assets. Sees all the mistakes they made and the lengths they must go to right them instead of the twenty-two-year-old boys that they were. There was a time not long ago that Hermione had bought into that idea. But it was impossible to subscribe to now that she could see them so plainly.

Not wanting to wake them, she quietly went to the cupboard to grab the tea she had hidden in the back to brew for them once they awoke. Blaise stirred, groaning and alerting Draco instantly.

Blaise leaned forward, Draco tightened his arm on his chest before he could sway to the side. Blaise swore once before falling back against Draco's chest.

"Ouch," Blaise grumbled. "My fucking head."

"You're a fucking cunt," Draco barked.

Blaise groaned, his head turned away from Draco and his eyes remained closed. Hermione was about to make her presence known but didn't want to startle them.

"What happened?" Blaise asked.

"The kid told you to only take one. You took four ," Draco whispered.

"Sorry."

Blaise coughed, body flinching and he covered his mouth with his arm. He took a deep breath, and Draco didn't rush or push him when he rested against him again.

"Theo came to me again last night," Blaise mumbled. He pried his eyes open before letting them fall again. "He told me not to die. To keep carrying on."

"That was me, git," Draco bit, his voice thick and hoarse. "I'm the one you'd be leaving behind."

Blaise remained silent, breathing deeply through his nose and out his mouth. Draco's words weren't too harsh- he knew it himself in the way Blaise didn't bother with a rebuttal.

Draco bent his head towards his ear. " Aucun des deux ne peut mourir …"

Blaise didn't reply or respond. He opened his eyes, staring blankly at the wall to his left. Draco nudged him, rocking him slightly in his lap.

"You don't need me anymore, Draco," Blaise said, weakly. "It's not like we have much longer."

He didn't say it like he was sad, but like he was seeking permission.

"Say it. Fucking say it. We made a vow," Draco insisted. His voice was thick with grief and worry. "Aucun des deux ne peut mourir…"

"...tandis que l'autre survit," Blaise dutifully finished .

Draco's shoulders relaxed. Hermione closed the cabinet and walked around the corner into view. Draco looked up, and Blaise tried to stand but lost his balance immediately. Draco helped him stand, but Blaise still had to rest heavily on the counter behind him.

"Let's get you upstairs," said Hermione, trying to keep her voice neutral. "Your legs and back are probably aching from that floor."

"I'll be fine," Blaise insisted with a smile. Hermione couldn't see past how much it was forced, no matter how much of his otherworldly charm Blaise put behind them. "Nothing I can't walk off."

Blaise tried to take a step but Draco had to catch him. Hermione rushed to their side, putting Blaise's arm around her shoulder.

"Come. You can stay in my room," Hermione said, sternly.

"Mother has an extra room in her hall," Draco countered. He looked at Hermione with insistence but not defiance. "She doesn't have the entire floor anymore but the hall is still private."

Blaise scoffed. "Your mother hates me."

"Perhaps you'll grow on her if you're unconscious," Draco snarked.

They didn't pass anyone as they made their way to the second floor. Narcissa's hall was a quick turn from the landing. Once they entered, the floors and walls shifted to the familiar appearance of the manor, and Hermione felt at home with Blaise and Draco bickering at her side.

Pippy and Narcissa appeared as they got Blaise into the bed. Hermione gave him the potions, which he took gratefully before falling into the comforts of the bed.

"Draco?" Narcissa questioned. "What's happened?"

Draco ignored her, handing Blaise the electrolyte-rich drink that Hermione brought and whispering threats for him to remain lying down. They closed the door gently after leaving.

"Pippy, would you please help Master Zabini dress down so he sleeps more comfortably?" Draco asked, kindly.

"Yes, sir. Of course."

Pippy disappeared through the door, and Hermione was left in the hallway with Draco and his mother. She knew he must have visited her at some point since he defected, but the energy between them wasn't warm or loving like she would have expected.

"Narcissa, I'm so sorry if we disturbed you so early in the morning. How are you?" Hermione asked, gently.

"Very well, Hermione. Thank you," Narcissa replied. "Draco, what is the meaning of this?"

"Blaise is ill and needs a place to heal privately," Draco said, formally. "Would Pippy mind tending to him? I apologize, Mother. I wouldn't ask if he didn't require someone with advanced capabilities. "

"She will be pleased to be of service," Narcissa responded.

She took a few steps toward Draco and reached for his face, but he backed away.

Draco's demeanor remained cold. "I leave for another mission in about an hour's time. Thank you for your help. I'll visit when I return."

Hermione watched him walk to the end of the hall before turning towards Narcissa. "I'm sorry. I think Blaise's condition is worrying him. He'll do better knowing he's in such good care."

"I wish he would let Pippy help. It was the same as when he was a boy. No one other than his personal elf was allowed to fuss over him," Narcissa said, wistfully. "Try not to take it personally, my dear girl."

Hermione nodded tightly, not wanting to give too much away. Narcissa had improved immeasurably from when they first met within the manor, but Hermione wasn't sure what she would say or think if she knew the depths of the mess she and Draco got themselves in.

"I'll be back later to check on him," Hermione said.

Narcissa nodded and smiled calmly before turning down the hall and returning to her room.

Draco was lingering at the landing of the stairs. The windows facing the front of the house were still vacant of sunlight. Only the dim candlelight of the staircase illuminated their path.

There was a level of safety that came with the shield of darkness. It was always the light that illuminated their mistakes.

Draco was leaning against the banister, both of his hands clutching the railing so hard that his knuckles turned white. Hermione put a hand on his shoulder, slowly moving it to his chest right above his heart, and he leaned into her touch until it felt like she was holding him up.

"What room do you usually stay in?" Hermione asked.

"We don't spend most nights here. It varies," Draco answered.

"Come, you can use mine," Hermione offered.

Draco didn't move and Hermione grabbed his elbow and pulled him up the stairs.

"Draco, you have sick on your sleeve. You need to bathe," Hermione insisted.

Walking to her room, side-by-side with Draco, was a different feeling. There wasn't an undertone of desire to hide behind like the previous time. She closed and locked the door so they wouldn't be disturbed, and Draco stared out the window into the last of the night, the moon already missing from the sky.

"I'll check on him before I depart later today," Hermione promised. "The shower is right through there."

"How long were you standing there?" Draco asked.

Hermione knew he didn't mean in that moment, but earlier in the kitchen with Blaise. She could lie and tell him she had only just walked in. She lied to lessen the repercussions of her actions since she was a child. Whether to protect herself or Harry or Ron. But for some reason, she didn't feel the need.

"What does it mean?" Hermione asked.

Draco remained still, allowing Hermione to stare at his back. Hermione knew enough French to make a decent translation, but the meaning of the phrase left a lot to be questioned.

"It's a promise we made to each other. Not an unbreakable vow, just bound by our word," Draco started. " Neither can die, while the other survives ."

"Why is it necessary?" asked Hermione.

She thought she might know the answer, but for once she didn't have to defer or assume. It may feel nice for him to say it. Or perhaps it would hurt.

"Blaise was always Theo's best mate. For as long as either of us can remember. Long before they loved each other," Draco started. His voice stayed low and calm, even as her own throat started to ache. "But there was a time when he was my best friend. Crabbe and Goyle were always on my side, but there were summers that Theo spent nearly every other day at mine. Or mother would let me go to his. I'd cancel any plans whenever he'd floo or write, wanting to visit. His father would always be away on travel and Zabini spent each summer with his mother so Theo and I were able to do whatever we wanted. Quidditch, drawing, creating jinx…"

The room grew colder with dread. The grief that neither of them could outrun for long without it catching up. It made her skin damp with cool sweat, even with the chill. She wanted to both hold him and run away.

"Theo got the mark for me. During the Holiday break of sixth-year. I was called forward by the Dark Lord, and Theo walked by my side. For no reason other than to ensure I didn't feel alone. I was trembling so badly, he stepped closer to me for a moment and held my fucking arm," Draco's voice started to crack and he stopped.

He took a few deep breaths, spinning the ring on his finger that hung by his side. Hermione thought she should go to him, but he was just as likely to push her away as accept her comfort.

"He would want Zabini to live. Even if he is just counting down the days until they will be together again. It's the least I could do for him," Draco finished.

"I understand," Hermione said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know it's not enough.."

Draco pulled off his shirt and tossed it to the side. "Bathroom?"

"It's that one there," Hermione pointed.

"I'll be quick," Draco said before nodding his head in thanks.

Hermione watched him disappear into the bathroom. Steam started to billow in from the crack under the door. She picked up his shirt, stained with sick from Blaise the night before, and cleaned it with a quick charm.

The guilt felt familiar. She had nearly drowned in it during the years surrounding both Goyle and Theo's deaths. Neither would have died if she had chosen differently. If she had moved faster, or smarter, or made a different decision. Regardless of the fact that she would have never intentionally caused them harm.

There were times she swore she could feel Harry's presence. Whether she was feeling low and needed his friendship or had a moment of joy she wished she could share with him. That feeling never came with Goyle or Theo. Maybe, wherever they were, they checked in on her from time to time. But Hermione didn't think she was worthy of it. Not when she failed them so gravely. She hoped at least that they made their presence known with Malfoy and Blaise. If only sporadically so they could remember how good life was when they could take care of each other.

Hermione pushed the bathroom door open. Water splashed on the bottom of the shower as it cascaded off of him. Hermione pulled off her jumper and stepped out of her pants. The air was hot as she walked into the shower behind him. She needed him. Desperately. It was terrible how quickly it happened.

Draco had both hands braced on the wall, head hanging between as the water poured onto his head and through his hair. Hermione brushed her fingers on his arm before kissing the wet skin gently. He grabbed her, pulling her body to his and resting his head on her shoulder as the water soaked her hair and back.

His lips found hers, and she kissed him slowly. Wet hair stuck to her cheeks and Draco pushed it back gently until his hand caressed only her skin.

During their time at the manor, Hermione could always tell when Draco touched her with a need greater than lust. The time when having each other felt more like a promise to a better life than a means to an end. It felt like that again, with Draco's unhurried tongue pushing deeper into her mouth. Pouring his own desperation into her without uttering a single word.

Hermione broke their kiss, moving her lips to his neck and making her way down his chest as he caressed over her shoulders and down her back. When her knees were nearly on the tile floor, Draco grasped her elbow, stopping her.

"What are you doing?" Draco rasped.

His voice hardly carried over the sound of the water. Hermione pulled her arm back, letting herself kneel in front of him.

"Let me take care of you," she replied.

She grabbed him with one hand, stroking up and down his rapidly hardening length. The water was falling nearly on top of her head, so she gently pushed him back a few inches until it was comfortably raining down on her back.

Nerves started to flurry in her, but she pushed them away. She had never done this before. But she knew Draco. The way he would gasp and move when she did something he liked. It wouldn't take her long to learn how to please him properly.

The first lick over the large head of his cock tasted like water. She wrapped her lips around the tip, sucking gently as she moved her hand firmly the way he like.

Draco's arm went back to the wall to help hold himself. The other was cradling her face, thumb stroking across her cheek as he gently pulled her to take more of him.

There was the smallest hint of salt as she pulled back to circle her tongue around the tip like she had done several times before with her thumb. It tasted like sex and sin. The same as Draco's mouth after he licked her between her legs. Like she was able to have and to know him in another way.

She looked up her lashes to see him watching her and it sent a spark in her lower belly. If she had a hand to spare, she would tease some of the pressure building there, but she could fathom the idea of willingly touching him any less.

Draco let his head fall back, and his breath hitched as Hermione started to move faster. Draco pushed his hand through her hair. His touch was firm and strong, but he didn't try to take over her pace. It was grounding and encouraging her, and she took him deeper into the back of her throat.

"Hermione. Oh fuck," Draco moaned, dragging out the words that got lost in the steam. His other hand came off the wall and held her face again. So lovingly, even as his hips fucked into her mouth. "Oh fuck. Fuck, I'm going to come."

The words were rushed and laced with desire and it made her moan around him. She sped up, pulling against his hold as he tried to urge her off.

"Hermione- I can't- " Draco swore under his breath as he pulled himself from her mouth with a pop.

Her lips were still parted as the first shot of cum painted her bottom lip down her chin. She tighten her grip on him, working out the rest of his cum that painted ropes of white across her chest. She was catching her breath, staring up at him as he watched and moaned.

Draco's chest was flushed and rapidly rising and falling. His eyes traced down her chest, where his cum was dripping off her hard nipples onto her stomach and the tops of her thighs. He followed the ropes of white up to her lips. The irises of his eyes were hardly visible through his thick lashes and hooded gaze. He looked at her in disbelief- as if there was anything in the world that she wouldn't do for him.

Hermione could feel his stare burn into her, and she slowly ran her tongue over her bottom lip before pulling it into her mouth to taste the faint salt. Part of her had always wondered what it was like, the other wanted to see how Draco would respond.

Draco sighed heavily, inching closer to her and tightening his grip on her hair. There wasn't any moment she could recall that made her feel more alive than to see how wholly Draco wanted her. In the times when he didn't try to hide it, and she didn't have to feel shame for feeling the same.

The thumb that was tracing her cheek moved to her chin, brushing over his cum. His eyes glazed over as he brought his thumb to her lips and Hermione pulled it into her mouth, the ball in her throat bobbing as she swallowed.

She had hardly opened her mouth for more when Draco lifted her from her knees and crashed his mouth onto her. She whimpered, her heart pounding between her legs with a heat that made the warm water feel cool. Draco pressed her into the shower wall, the cold tiles causing her to gasp around his mouth that was thoroughly devouring her. His thigh pressed between her legs and she rolled her hips to get more friction.

"You're killing me, Hermione," Draco whispered into her neck.

His large hand gripped her ass, the other palming her breast and rubbing himself more into her. The substance felt sticky between them but she didn't find herself put off by it. The water was running over them, streams starting to wash away the mess that was now on both their chest.

The need for release was growing inside of her. She wanted him in every way. Uncertain which to pursue first.

"Fuck me," Hermione panted into his mouth. He thrust his hips harder into hers. "Please."

"Anything," Draco grunted. "Just give me two more minutes, darling."

Hermione nodded, appeased to continue rubbing her wet cunt against his thigh until his cock was hard enough to take her. Draco kissed her hard, pulling back and biting her lip between his sharp teeth before releasing her.

"Let me," Draco said, pulling her soap from the ledge.

Hermione tilted her head back, enjoying the hot and slick touch of Draco's hands and he washed both of them clean.

"You're late," Hermione said.

Draco pushed back his damp hair once more. He grabbed the jumper of his that she had been sleeping in most nights and pulled it over his head.

He smelt like her. The soap from the manor was always distinctly him, from the fresh mint to the green apples. The oils she added to her own soap were intentionally different. For years she tried to wash away the remembrance of him. Now, she would only think of him when she smelled this soap too.

"You're a bad influence," Draco replied, and Hermione could hear the smirk in it.

Draco winced a bit. Nothing alarming, it was the same as he had always done. There was a tightening in his jaw that revealed his discomfort, and Hermione didn't let herself ask him why.

"I could go with you?"

"This post requires the Dark Mark to enter," Draco said and Hermione looked at him questionly. "You should stay out of sight. The Dark Lord will be hunting for us both."

"I'm not afraid of him," Hermione argued.

"Blaise will be pissed he got left behind," Draco said, changing the subject.

Hermione allowed it. "When will you be back?"

"I'll return late tonight to change teams. Just for a few hours. Once we hit we can't lose momentum," Draco stated.

Hermione felt worry plague her. It was just like before. When he would leave on missions, he neglected to inform her of the most dangerous details and left her to imagine the worst.

"Draco, you are fighting like you're running out of time," Hermione said. "Your body, your magic, it needs time to rest and heal."

Draco looked away from her. "I've been worse. Watch over Blaise for me until you leave for your next post?"

Hermione nodded. She would depart later in the evening, likely just missing him when he returned. She hated how he would push his teams to finish early, but a large part of her also hoped he would do it again tonight so she would have the chance to see him again. At least one more time.

Draco looked over her, eyes memorizing every curve of her body.

Draco," she whispered and his eyes met hers. "Come back."

To me . She left the words out, having no right to say them.