CHAPTER 1: Double Turtle Troubles

CENTRAL PARK
MIDNIGHT

Down in the lair, Master Splinter was in the midst of watching another of his bizarre soap operas.

"I'm afraid it's true, Kincaid," said the actor on TV. "I'm NOT your stepbrother—I'm your half-sister!"

Splinter gasped in awe at this revelation; with soaps, you never could tell just how crazy things were going to get. Ah, the wonders of daytime television…

But before he could see anything further, the program was cut off.

"We interrupt this program for a Channel 6 News Exclusive," said an announcer as the words SPECIAL NEWS REPORT blared across the screen.

The rodent sensei furrowed his brow. Now he wished he'd asked Donatello to hook this place up with TiVo when he got the chance. Still…this could very well be important.

"There was a daring robbery earlier tonight at a high-tech Midtown laboratory," the reporter said as Splinter watched, his interest mounting. "A nearby surveillance camera captured this image of four bizarre green creatures."

As the image appeared on screen, Splinter gasped. Could it be—?!

"LEONARDO!" As he called out, the blue-banded leader hopped from the top level and sheathed his katanas.

"MICHELANGELO!" Next came the orange-banded jokester, cruising into the lair on his skateboard.

"DONATELLO!" Third, was the purple-clad genius, who vaulted over with his bo staff.

"RAPHAEL!" Finally came the red-wearing bruiser, who somersaulted into the room and joined his brothers in the main area.

"You rang?" Mikey asked.

"I fear you have been careless tonight, my sons," warned Splinter. "The secret of our existence has been compromised!"

Don and Mikey looked visibly concerned from that.

"What—tonight?" asked Leo.

"I haven't been out," insisted Don. "Mikey?"

"Negatory!" Mikey replied as he hopped onto the couch.

"Master Splinter, we've been cooped up in here with you all night!" Raph declared.

"Then how in the world do you explain this?" asked Splinter, pointing at the TV screen. As the turtles took a look, they saw it for themselves.

"The image of the four creatures is a bit grainy," said the reporter. "But even so, you can make out what appear to be four large turtles!"

On the screen was, indeed, a pixelated image of what looked like four mutant turtles, bunched up back-to-back, squaring off against what looked like fearsome foes. All at once, the turtles gasped in collective shock!

"...it's…it's gotta be some kinda gag, right?" asked Raph, in disbelief.

Splinter raised a brow. "I am not laughing, Raphael," he warned.

"But how could there be other mutant turtles?" asked Leo. "Last I checked, we were the only ones…right?"

As the reporter mentioned something about unusual seismic activity, Don flipped and jumped his way over to the computer and did some quick typing. "Here, I've got the image," he said as his brothers joined him at the console.

"They do look like us," mused Leo.

"Whoever they are," chimed Mikey. "Who are they fighting?"

Don did some more typing, and zeroed in on one corner of the image—which had an all-too familiar dragon tattoo!

"The Purple Dragons!" Raph exclaimed.

"So...Hun's behind all this turtle-y fun?" inquired Mikey.

Just then, a secondary window manifested on the monitor, showing the face of the Turtles' longtime friend, ally, and confidant, April O'Neil-Jones. "Are you guys seeing this?" she asked. "It's all over the news."

Leo looked at Raph, his determination clear. "We see it, April…" he replied as he led his brothers out of the lair. "And we're going to get to the bottom of it!"

PURPLE DRAGON HEADQUARTERS
12:30 AM

Hun was heading down a hallway, flanked by Scales and Fang, the former of which was filling him in on their recent robbery.

"It was a sweet score, boss," he said. "We grabbed all kinds of high-tech goodies."

As Hun walked with them, he swatted at a fly which was buzzing around his head.

"But the real prize is right in here," Scales declared as he got to a large blast door. Leaning over, he opened the code pad and punched it in: 29467. With a couple of beeps, the door slid open, and Hun and his cohorts stepped inside.

"We got 'em, boss—we finally got 'em," said Scales as ten other Purple Dragons stood on both sides, while the lights gradually switched on. As the final light switched on, it revealed their captives. "Say hello to the Ninja Turtles!"

As Hun's eyes focused, he caught sight of the quartet before him. They looked like the Turtles, but these weren't the ones who'd made a habit of being a pain in his ass most of the time. These ones looked smaller…as well as rounder.

"...huh?" muttered Hun.

"You were expecting, maybe, somebody else?" asked the one who looked like Michelangelo, in a much more pronounced 'california surfer' tone. In fact, it sounded a lot more like Sean Penn.

"Uh…I don't know who these freaks are…" Hun espoused. "...but they're NOT the Turtles."

"What, you wanted a band?" asked the Raphael lookalike, in a voice that was totally lacking in that usual Brooklyn-style roughness. "We haven't done that since '91!"

The Dragons' hulking leader began staring intently at the four reptiles, as Scales held a satchel and some weapons. "We found this on 'em," he said.

"Ninja-type stuff…right, boss?" asked Fang.

As Scales opened the satchel, revealing pill-shaped containers of glowing purple liquid, Hun looked curiously at the substance. It was clear that he was in need of some answers.

"For one, I'd appreciate it if you put down my satchel," said Donatello's lookalike. "And second, if you're going to keep us prisoner, aren't we owed our one phone call?"

Michelangelo perked up. "If that's the case, I know who I'm calling," he beamed. "Vinnie's Pizza!"

"Michelangelo, this is no time to think about food!" chastised the Leonardo doppelganger. "We need to focus on escaping this problem!"

"Mundo apologies, Leonardo," Michelangelo apologized. "It's tough thinkin' about breaking out on an empty stomach!"

Suddenly, Hun grabbed Michelangelo's head with one of his massive paws and leaned him close to the glowing vial he clutched between two enormous fingers. "What…is THIS?" he rumbled.

"Oh, that? It's mutagen," replied the Party Dude. "We fight you-know-who for that stuff a lot!"

Now Hun was confused. "You-know-who?"

"No, dude, I asked you first!" Michelangelo insisted.

"You know, Bucket-Breath!" said Leonardo.

"Chrome-Dome!" Donatello added.

"Tin-Grin!" Raphael finished.

Now Hun was getting frustrated. "What are you freaks talking about?!" he bellowed.

Raphael chuckled. "We're dealin' with a real mind here," he remarked to seemingly nobody in particular, prompting Hun to glance in the same direction, befuddled.

"Hel-lo, we're talking about Shredder!" Leonardo explained.

Quickly, Hun made his way over. "What does this have to do with The Shredder?" he questioned.

"Like Michelangelo said, it's just some mutagen we stopped Shredhead from getting his claws on," explained Donatello.

His frustration replaced by curiosity, Hun shook the canister a bit. "Mutagen…?" he queried, unscrewing the top and taking a closer look. As he did, the fly from earlier landed on the rim and took a few sips.

"I'd be careful with that if I were you," warned Leonardo.

Hun leaned his right hand over, and flicked the fly off the rim, knocking it to the ground. Suddenly, the fly began to grow, snarling until it was the size of a full-grown sheepdog! It roared and snarled, buzzing into the air, but was quickly knocked to the floor thanks to one punch from Hun.

Now that he'd seen what the mutagen could do, Hun was twice as interested. "This could really come in handy," he declared, resealing the capsule. "Especially if the Shredder is back."

Scales handed him the rest of the mutagen.

"Whaddo you want us to do with these guys, boss?" asked Fang, as Hun headed towards the exit.

"I've already got four turtles to worry about," said Hun, waving his concerns off. "These are…superfluous."

That was all the direction that Scales and Fang needed. "Alright, then," smiled Fang, readying his blaster. "Nice knowin' ya…Superfluous."

The four new turtles swallowed heavily; Michelangelo and Donatello looked a bit nervous, but Leonardo and Raphael were ready to face certain doom with dignity.

"I can't believe I'm goin' out on an empty stomach!" said Michelangelo.

"Looks like our next stop is that pet shop in the sky, fellas," Donatello gulped.

"What the—" exclaimed Hun's voice from outside, before several blows were thrown. Minutes later, he was flung right back into the room, landing on several of his subordinates, while dropping the mutagen vial, which shattered on a punk with a ferocious dog. As the no-name punk screamed in pain, four new visitors made their entrance, taking a combat-ready stance before the Purple Dragons.

"Hope ya don't mind," declared Raph. "But we let ourselves in!"

"Actually…" Mikey noted as he put his chuks down. "It looks like we're already here!"

"Guys…" started Donatello. "Is it just me, or do those four look sort of like us?"

"Don't flatter yourselves!" snapped Raph.

But this brief moment of levity didn't last as the mooks pulled out their blasters, and immediately opened up with a hail of laser fire.

"That's our cue!" Mikey exclaimed, and the Turtles sprang into action. Leapfrogging off of Hun's back, Raph knocked two punks over with a double-kick, while Leo dodged another's attack with tekko-kagi.

"Raph! Look out!" he called.

Immediately, Raph jumped to the left, while the other Raphael pulled himself up, narrowly avoiding some laser fire.

"Thanks, bro!" they exclaimed in unison. Raph shot a glare at his shorter counterpart.

"INCOMING!" Raphael shouted. Raph turned around, and was smacked across the room by Hun's meaty fist.

While the other punks were still blasting, Don smacked one down, and Mike leapfrogged off another while knocking into a third. "'Scuse me!" he called as he hopped over to his counterpart and took a good look. "Sweet…they got little initials on their belt buckles—like superheroes!"

Before Mikey could admire their looks any further, he quickly jumped out of the way of some incoming laser fire, which severed the Turtles' restraints.

"Awright! We're free as birds!" said Raphael, rubbing his wrists.

"So then let's fight like turtledoves!" Michelangelo responded. "Good thing those geeks didn't grab my grappler!"

As soon as he spotted Fang, the wild-&-crazy-Turtle aimed and twirled his grappling hook before ensnaring the thug.

"Hey!" Fang exclaimed before getting yanked by the grappler, and falling on his butt, causing him to drop his weapon. Once he was disarmed, Michelangelo flipped, jumped, and snatched his nunchuks back.

"Thanks, compadre!" he called.

"Fascinatin'..." grunted Raph as he'd been knocked to the floor, with Hun approaching. "Little help here, Mikey?"

"You got it!" both Party Dudes exclaimed, much to their brief bewilderment.

"COWABUNGA!" exclaimed Michelangelo, as he swung one of his nunchucks like a bolo, then threw it at a nearby industrial fan, which broke free from the ceiling and came spinning down, knocking Hun away from his target. "Cool off, meathead!"

Mikey snickered at his counterpart's quip. "Heh-heh...cool off, he says!" he remarked. Raph got to his feet, looking none too pleased.

"How about we make it a little more fun, then?" asked Michelangelo as he ran across the room, leapt up, and broke through Donatello and Leonardo's restraints. Once they were freed, they didn't hesitate to reclaim their weapons.

"Now I think it's time we paid these guys back for turtle-napping us," said Leonardo.

As he raised his katanas in the air, the four let out a rallying cry: "LET'S KICK SOME SHELL!"

"How can ya not love these guys?" asked Mikey as he elbow-slammed another goon. Raph still wasn't the least bit impressed, though.

Meanwhile, Leonardo sliced one of the goons' blasters in half before kicking him in the stomach, sending him flying into another mook. "You shouldn't play with guns!" he warned, wagging a finger at him, but darting away to avoid more laser fire.

Hun had grabbed a large slab of metal and nearly smashed Leo with it, but the leader in blue jumped away, and side-kicked the thug who was behind him, making him slam into the door. As it opened, more Purple Dragons came streaming in, unloading the heavy artillery.

Once more, Leo had to leap away, avoiding laser blasts, and Hun; as he slid off the wall, the lasers pierced holes in the wall, letting the moonlight shine through. Within seconds, a plan had taken shape. Leapfrogging off another thug, Leo got up to the wall and ran along it, letting the laser fire follow him until he jumped to the ground. Once he touched down, a loud C-C-C-CRAAAAACCCCCK! could be heard, and the wall came crumbling down.

As Raph and Don made a break for it, Hun turned around a little too late. The blonde bruiser could only scream in terror as the wall tumbled down upon him, with a tremendous CRASH! When the dust cleared, the Purple Dragons were buried under a mountain of rubble that had once been a wall.

"Now that was off-the-wall!" Michelangelo exclaimed.

"COME ON!" bellowed Raph as he grabbed him and pulled him out through the hole. The other Turtles followed suit, the last of which was Donatello, who'd stopped to retrieve his satchel and the mutagen.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on it," he said, snagging it with his bo, and sliding it over his shoulder. "But I'd better be going!"

Both Turtle teams left the building and took to the adjacent rooftops, heading into the night.

And so our little tale begins in earnest. How will things play out, with a not-so-goofy team of '87 Turtles? Only I know for sure.

Also, please do not contact me in an effort to ask me to turn this into artwork. I will report AND block you. These are not my characters [WELL, DUH], and I do not want any art from you. I'm not looking for commissions, and seeing those comments in my PM folder AND in my reviews is just getting more and more irritating. If these are somehow NOT bots, then by all means, delete those because I'm not in the mood, okay?