CHAPTER TWO

(BPOV)

Hurt was part of the package when you really loved someone. When you let yourself become entwined with them in one way or another. There was no way to avoid it. It was inevitable. A force you couldn't stop, no matter how hard you tried.

The vulnerability in truly loving someone sometimes came at such a high price that it left you wondering if it was all worth it. The risk. The pain of it all.

I knew that pain all too well. When everything in me once felt shattered into a million pieces, and I couldn't see a way out of that darkness.

Until Jacob happened.

Until he pulled me out of that place. One day at a time.

I couldn't pretend anymore that what I shared with Jacob wasn't real. It was slowly killing the both of us.

My head spun and my heart hammered at the feel of his lips inches from mine, the air around us so thick with tension it was near suffocating.

"Should I ask you again?" Jacob whispered.

"No-..." I managed.

"Cause I will...- if that's what you want." He softly insisted.

"You came back."

"I couldn't stay away any longer." He huffed out in honesty.

"I was afraid for you. Worried-..." I admitted. "Where did you go?"

"Everywhere...-" He sighed, pressing his forehead against mine. "-and nowhere. If that makes sense."

"I didn't know about the invitation. I'm sorry."

Jacob pulled back some at this, the sudden distance between us bringing me back down to our harsh reality.

"Is that why you came here? To apologize for him?" He sharply asked, as his hand swiftly found the light switch and turned it on.

"N-No... I mean- yes. I mean-..." I stammered, seeing his eyes narrow further.

"Did you come here for you? Or for him?" He further asked, snagging a pair of spare cut offs from the top of his dresser and hurriedly pulling them on. "Which is it?"

"Jake- I...-"

"No. No more. If the only reason you came here was to apologize for him, then leave. Please. Don't keep putting me through this. I can't take it anymore, Bella. I have been everything you've ever needed. Whenever you needed it. That's my job."

"Your job?" I questioned, catching his gaze as he tried to avoid mine. "What do you mean it's your job?"

"You know what I mean." He accused, his heated tone growing with annoyance now.

"No, I really don't."

"I don't want to fight with you, Bells. I'm so spent. I don't have it in me. I haven't slept in days now. Seeing that damn invitation set me off. I can't even think straight."

"I know. He shouldn't have done that. It was cruel."

"He knew what he was doing." Jacob snapped. "He's not innocent. Stop apologizing for him."

"I came here to see you. Not just apologize for him. I wanted to be sure you came back. That you were okay. Billy's been worried for you, too. Charlies Practically got your face on a milk carton."

"Well, be sure to tell him there's no need to alert the FBI." He hedged in return.

"You can't take off like that. It scares everyone. Think of your dad."

"I knew Sue would take care of him. I had to get out of the house before I lost it.

"...and to hell with everyone else, right?" I sighed, unable to hold his heated stare any longer. "You'll hate me soon enough."

"I don't know how to hate you. Believe me. I've tried. Damn well know I should be able to but I just can't. You're the one choosing to throw your life away. That's a choice you're making!"

I grew silent at this, unable to say what I really wanted to. The small distance between us felt larger somehow and the brief silence profound.

I hated what we had become.

"You don't understand." I stammered.

"Pretty simple to grasp. You're choosing to end your life for him. Leave your whole family and erase any former part of you. What am I missing?!" He argued back.

His tone stung more than his words, but I continued on without letting my emotions get the better of me.

"I shouldn't have come here. This was a mistake." I countered, heading for his bedroom door.

He followed after me, the commotion of it all now waking Billy.

"What's going on?" Billy groggily yawned. "Jake? Jacob? You're back! When did you get back home son?"

"A little while ago." Jacob replied, reaching for me before I could leave the house. "Bells, wait. Just... wait."

"I'd rather leave then stay here and fight with you. We'll end up saying more hurtful things we don't mean, and that's not the way I want to remember us."

He flinched back at this, like the very idea of us being referenced in a former tense caused him physical pain.

"I don't want that, either." He softly admitted. "But you have to see this for what it is. Every one has choices they get to make, and the consequences that come with them. Your choice will end us. Forever. There will be no going back. No second chances. It's a finality that's permanent. Are you really ready for that?"

I gazed up into the face of my best friend and couldn't answer.

How do you let go of someone you're terrified of losing?

How do you close a chapter of your life you thought would always have more pages added to it? More memories to make. More adventures to share. More laughter to fill the emptiness this life sometimes hands you.

"You think I don't know what I'll be losing?" I tearfully asked him.

"I don't think you grasp the magnitude of it right now." He thoughtfully countered.

"You're wrong."

"-and you're rushing into this."

"I'm following through with my choice. It's not about the timeline."

"I don't buy that. You're afraid you'll change your mind, because you know the more time goes on, the more you're gonna see what you're really giving up. You'll lose everyone and everything and he gains you. Somehow, that doesn't exactly seem fair to me."

"Sacrifices are part of every relationship." I pointed out.

"Not ones like this. Not this kind of sacrifice. When you love someone, you put them first. Ahead of yourself. You do what's best for them, even if it hurts like hell. Love isn't selfish. It's supposed to be selfless. You know that."

"He's right, Bella." Billy added, wheeling himself closer to us. "Love is give and take. It's not one sided."

"I have to go. I'm sorry." I replied, heading outside for my truck.

Jacob followed after me, his voice now trembling.

"I'm not done fighting for you."

I stopped short at my truck hearing this, the lump in my throat hard to ignore as my eyes filled with fresh tears.

"Till my heart stops beating, right?"

"No, till my heart stops telling me it needs yours."

"That will happen. One day. When you imprint." I reminded him.

I reached for the drivers side door and paused at the feel of his warm hand covering mine.

"Is that what you're really afraid of? Why you won't choose me instead of him? You think I'll end up choosing someone else." He somberly countered, lifting my chin so I'd meet his piercing gaze with my answer.

"It's inevitable."

"That's it, isn't it?"

"You can't help what chooses you." I replied,

He leaned in, his warm breath ghosting my lips now.

"What if I told you that choice was made for me a long time ago?"

"I'd tell you that's not possible."

"Haven't you learned by now that anything is possible?" He whispered, his lips barely grazing my own and sending a shiver down my spine.

This magnetic pull between us made it hard for me to want to leave him.

How do you leave someone you're terrified to lose? How do you close a chapter on a story you were certain had more pages to fill? More memories to make and more adventures to have?

"I've learned a lot of things." I managed.

"Stay here with me, Bells. Please." He half begged.

I pressed my lips to his, convincing myself that this would be a goodbye kiss.

I was very wrong.

A/N: Hey guys! Im back to writing for the Holiday season! please leave a review! I look forward to hearing from you!