So, I've decided to write another viewing chapter since I don't have much in the tank of plot yet for Rising. Don't freak out and think I have writers block or anything, just I take more time with that particular story trying to get everything right.
Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy!
Chapter 14: Brannigan's Law
The majority of the guild had only been talking or waiting for a few minutes, the last timeline an insane romp of ridiculous carnage. Clearly staying quiet as Erza sat close by, Natsu didn't dare mention how awesome a fight like that would be. Crossing his arms in a pout, the dragon slayer tried to inch away from Erza, but the woman followed in a small scoot.
"I'm not going to start a fight Erza…even if that last one was awesome"
"You better not. As mages of Fairy Tail, we should strive to set an example not only for our fellow members, but the city of Magnolia as well. Causing havoc over simple misunderstandings would tarnish the guilds reputation" Brushing the side of her head and scarlet locks in a beautiful toss of hair, the woman was confident that her friend would comply.
"She's almost as bad as Natsu! She destroys stuff all the time!" Clearly not speaking the words out loud, the mages of the guild stayed silent.
Levy either didn't hear them or just dismissed the musings of the guild. "I wonder why it cut out like that?" Tapping her foot in a rather annoyed manner, the script mage studied the cube for another minute.
"Well, it was made by you right? Don't you have ideas at all?" Laki inquired, only to receive a sharp glare from the shorter female.
"No? If it's that McGarden variant, who knows what types of madness or thought patterns went into this viewing cube. From what I can gather, it just cut off" Shrugging, Levy doubted she would figure out the reasons of the initial creator. "Granted, I…er…some other me also makes us view horrible timelines as well. Why? I can't fathom" Shaking her head, the woman sat down.
"Well…to be fair, the little we've seen of…McGarden is a madwoman" Voicing her opinion, Juvia had no idea the full extent of the variant's thinking process.
"FORGET ALL THAT! Somebody get me an expired coupon so I can kick some ass!" Roaring in a manly desire to fight, Elfman was rapidly slapped upside the head by Evergreen, the brunette having a stern gaze.
"Don't be a muscle head of stupidity. They destroyed half of that city over nothing" Poised to strike again, Evergreen stayed her hand as Elfman flexed his muscles in a very manly manner.
"Just saying…I could definitely fight somebody over a small slight like that"
Makarov grunted, the old man sipping his mug of beer. "You try and I'll make you pay for the repairs and damages"
The threat hung in the air, quelling any ideas of the more troublesome mages to start a fight.
"Yeah, re-enacting some insane chicken fight isn't worth losing my life savings" Gajeel muttered, the dragon slayer glancing toward Wendy. "Might as well start the next timeline, Wendy. The further we get away from that craziness, the less chance of something stupid happening here" Assured in his superiority, Gajeel smirked as Gray and Natsu sent dirty looks his way. "Or someone stupid"
"Yo Gray, he just called you stupid" Natsu said with a snicker as Happy giggled nearby, the cat sitting simply on the table.
"Pretty sure he was talking about you, ashbrain" Not engaging further, the ice mage went silent as Erza stared his way, the threat easily readable.
Walking calmly as the guild waited, Wendy approached the cube, the dragon slayer's blue hair failing freely down her back. Smiling softly, she raised her hand as her features contorted into determination. "Please be a good universe!" Slamming her palm down with assurance, the green button was pressed as the cube flared with blue lights once more.
In moments, the lenses flared, lighting up the far wall with a new timeline as the guild went silent.
Towering structures crowded the skyline of the highly advanced city, the assembled colors of blues, greens, yellows and everything in between. Crowding along the banks of the Hudson River, the skyscrapers were surrounded by flying cars as the craft zipped back and forth across the massive sprawl. Settled across Long Island and several peninsulas, the city of New New York thrived while the Statue of Liberty floated on hovering jets in the harbor.
Countless craft lifted off from the surface, roaring toward the sky on burning engines of unknown energies.
"That's New York! I recognize the shape of the islands!" Lucy pointed with excitement as Hisui leaned forward, the queen's eyes going wide. "look at how advanced it is…amazing" Voice in awe, the ruler of Fiore immediately turned to Cosmos, then to Kamika. "Learn everything you can from this timeline"
"Yes, my queen" Bowing in unison, they both could understand the importance of possibly uncovering new technologies for Fiore.
Laxus leaned over to Freed, the larger man talking low in a whisper. "Honestly, I'm just glad its not full of monsters or giant chickens"
"I agree" Whispering back, the men went back to watching as the view started to home in on a certain sector of the city.
The structure was a dull red with a noticeable hanger along half the building's length. Toward the other end a tower rose with a catwalk, the pathway wrapping around the circumference while numerous windows gave ample allowance for sunlight. Rising upward, an advanced communication needle of dull green pulsed, the light barely noticeable among the advanced city. Nestled right along the river, the red building had a sign declaring the name of the business as Planet Express.
Inside, a man with orangish hair sat on a couch, his red vest overlaying a white shirt while he wore a simple pair of blue pants and white sneakers. Drinking a beer, he sat next to a gray toned robot who heft an unmarked bottle of booze while several commercials played across the large television.
"Are you a lonely, pathetic single man? Then at least fill your stomach with Bachelor Chow! Guaranteed to not contain human! Remember…Bachelor Chow"
The orange hair man's eyes showed interest. "Not including human? Maybe I'll buy some"
"Sure Fry, but then you won't suffer from cannibalism disease later. We could get off from work…you know, because you try to eat people"
"Psh" Fry waved his hand, reaching for another beer in a nearby cooler. "Whatever Bender, that only happened once. And that was because of that truck stop sandwich with space parasites"
"Hehehe. Yeah, lucky it was just a homeless guy you ate…Ahh, human's are so frail, not like me, Bender, your best friend" Rapping his metal hand against his chest, the robot made a dull sound as another commercial played.
"Are you a robot that needs to polish his attention to get the attention of strippers? Then buy Robopol! If you don't, then you're not cool!"
Bender immediately stood up, his eyes glowering with anger. "HEY! I'm cool! Fry, lets go there and stea—er buy some of that stuff!"
Fry looked at his friend with suspicion, his eyes narrowing. "That's funny…usually you don't want to buy anything…are you sure you're not evil Bender? Sipping his beer with narrowed eyes, Fry watched as Bender calmed down and re-sat on the couch.
Suddenly, an intercom blared, the voice carrying into the break room as Fry and Bender continued to watch mindless television.
"All of you, report to the briefing room. What? Get away from me you annoying lobster! No! My sandwich! Get outta here Zoidberg!" The sounds of struggle continued across the intercom, not that Bender and Fry cared with lazy groans.
"Man…why can't they have the meeting in here? I'm already settled" Stretching as he slowly stood, Fry rubbed his eyes, trying to rid his lethargy.
Bender nodded, the robot still drinking as an owl flew into the nearby window, getting electrocuted. "They're pretty damn lazy, making us walk to everybody else" Getting up himself, the two left the room.
"So…a drinking robot? Pretty neat" Cana admitted as she drank herself.
Cosmos rapidly shook her head, her pink hair bobbing with each motion. "How unbeautiful. That Fry has eaten a poor homeless person. What a monster"
Kamika rapidly shook her own head, disagreeing with her counterpart. "Did you miss the part about the space parasite? It sounds like he was infected with something…still horrible though. Which makes me wonder why they're uncaring about food now free of…human" Blanching her face, the royal knight wondered how this future society could be so irresponsible about food contents.
"Honestly, Juvia is sensing those two are very lazy…or stupid"
"Don't any of you care about the owl that was just electrocuted!? That poor bird!" Wendy said loudly, the young woman saddened by the avian's death.
Natsu shrugged, the fire mage stroking his chin. "Maybe the future has an owl infestation? Which means I can eat more of them" Grinning, Natsu would definitely hunt some owl later.
"You're an idiot. It's obvious this Planet Express gets into crazy stuff with robots, space parasites and who knows what" Gajeel mentioned with an easy tone and dismissive wave of his rival.
Bristling at the insult, Natsu started to rise, but was restrained by the heavy hand of Erza, the redheaded knight not even speaking a word, her threat implied.
"Hey, all of you be quiet! We're seeing more!" Makarov said with a stern tone, the guild master vastly interested in the timeline.
A very large television screen was embedded in the far wall of the meeting room, the technology currently showing the logo of the company. Nearby, a large circular table took up most of the central room while a refrigerator, stove and other kitchen appliances lined the western wall…along with a decontamination shower.
Sitting at the table were numerous other people, including a woman with one eye, her white tank top showing a fit and toned female figure. With purple hair tied in a pony tail, the woman waited as another woman in pink painted her toenails at the table, the distinctive Asian concentrating on the task. Toward her left a large crustacean with a hard pink shell, flapping facial mandibles and claws for hands ate a sandwich with gruesome greed, the mustard splattering his doctor's coat.
Further along, a man in blue coveralls with matching hat leaned back in his seat while reading a copy of zero G-juggs. Flipping the page slowly, the custodian brushed his mustache, satisfying a lazy itch.
Sitting with his back to the large television, a portly man with curly brown dreadlocks went through several pieces of paper, often sending glares to the crustacean. "Damn you Zoidberg, that was my lunch. I should fire you"
Finishing the sandwich with a gurgle of alien digestion and flapping mouth mandibles, the crustacean grinned. "But such a feast it was for Doctor Zoidberg. A lone sandwich, unguarded! What was I supposed to do, not eat it?"
"I was going to eat it! You stole it off my plate!" Pointing an accusing finger, the portly man was visibly angry.
"Alas, we will never know the culprit's identity" Shrugging, he suctioned off the nearby plate of mustard stains, causing several revulsions from the rest of the staff.
"Enough you two. Now Hermes, why are we here?" The purple haired, one eyed woman asked with level patience.
As if on cue, a shuffling old man in a laboratory coat entered from a side door, his wrinkled skin a tapestry of old age, spots and wrinkles. With a heavy pair of glasses, he carried a remote in one of his hands. "Good news, everybody!"
"AAAwww!" Groaning, most of the employees expressed their distress with varying degrees of agony.
"Everytime you say that I get shot at, or mauled by baboons" Fry complained, the man clearly upset.
"Yeah! Or we have to work! Do you know how many cool crimes I could commit if I didn't work!? Bender exclaimed, the robot even angrier.
"Quit your bellyaching and listen to me you ungrateful freeloaders!"
"A giant lobster man? Who steals food from his friends? That's kinda neat" Romeo commented, the young man finding the whole crew interesting.
Mira scoffed, the barmaid clearly disgusted. "That janitor is reading pornography right in the middle of a meeting. Just…such bad taste" shaking her head, Wakaba quickly disagreed. "Nah…he's got it all figured out. Maybe I should start reading those magazines right in the guild hall" Pondering the idea, he missed the dagger stare of Mira and several other women.
"I just cant get over the fact that old man looks just like Master Makarov" Natsu said with a joking grin.
Makarov rapidly stood up, standing upon the bar stool as he pointed an accusing finger at the fire mage. "I am not that old and decrepit! Say that again and I'll throw you on a train!"
The threat hit Natsu, the man fearful of the dreaded transportation.
"I have to say, the purple haired woman seems cool. And despite the eye, pretty normal considering there's a drinking robot and mindless eating crab" Laki observed, hoping that the one eyed alien was indeed, cool.
"Now pay attention. You have a delivery to Rygus Four…in Teddy Bear Junction" Letting the words hang in the air, the professor's tone was dark and ominous.
"Huh, nothing to read into there" Fry shrugged, missing the ominous tone.
"Fry, Teddy Bear junction is one of the most dangerous, violent places in the known universe. But as the Captain, we will weather any storm, be it space banditos, killer robots or temporal anomalies"
"Oh, all you flesh bags are gonna get killed! Hahahahaha!" Pointing, Bender guffawed as Hermes shouted. "You're going too, Bender!"
"No!"
"Quiet!" Shouting, the Professor adjusted his glasses before clicking the remote, bringing up the image of green and blue tinted planet. "Now the job is to deliver a very important package. So important that you can't look in the box…especially you Bender"
"What!? But now that you said I can't, I want to look even more! What if there's jewels or gold that needs to be stolen! I need to be cool, Professor! And theft is the coolest of crimes!"
"No! There will be no stealing of our customer's package. Now, get going you poor dead bast-er…faithful crew" Smiling like an insane old man, he nodded before whispering to Hermes much too loudly. "Start looking for a new crew, I doubt I'll even be able to sell their organs after this mis—oh, your still here"
Bender stood up, slamming his metallic fist upon the table. "Hold on a second! If we're going to some insanely dangerous mission where I sacrifice the humans to save my life, why isn't that guy going? In fact, I don't even recognize him!" Pointing with an accusing metal digit, Bender pointed to the janitor.
"I'm Scruffy…the janitor" Licking a finger then turning the next page of the porno mag, he leaned back. "Never seen you before neither"
"Well why aren't you helping do my work for me?" Still accusing, Bender crossed his arms across his metal chestplate.
"Contract. No sci-fi hijinks. Besides, I'm on break" Continuing to read the magazine, the man didn't move. "Yeah, Scruffy likes breasts in zero gravity. Keeps them firm"
"Damn his cool demeaner…and his pornography!" Throwing up his hands, Bender started to leave the room. "You know what! I'm gonna get my own porn! And some hookers! And uh…ehhh, the hell with it" Waving his arms downward in disappointment, Bender left with a robotic scowl.
"I'm leaving too. I hear an owl got electrocuted on the catwalk…which means dessert" Smiling grotesquely, Doctor Zoidberg scuttled from the room in a sideways walk.
"That concludes the mission briefing. Now get going! And if you die, you don't get paid" Pointing with gusto, Hermes watched as the deliver crew left, heading toward the hanger. "Guess I'll get started on their death certificates. That way, if they come back from the dead, they can't collect insurance"
Amy continued to paint her nails, the young woman not really caring as the old man talked and talked. "I should really study but I can't do that while being as cute as possible"
Still standing in his lab coat, the Professor stared at the empty seats. "…and that's why I have poor bowel movements this morning…oh, none of you are listening to me. I guess I'll go build another doomsday device. Warlords keep buying them from me for some reason" Laughing insanely, the elder was clearly insane.
Gildarts stroked the stubble upon his chin, the father giving a subtle nod with grin. "That Scruffy guy has everything figured out. Taking it easy, having excellent taste in reading material…"
Cana scoffed with a wave of her hand, the heat of the day causing more sweat to roll between her bosom with enticing sexiness…not that anybody cared about her appearance. "You're being a pervert again, Dad. Reading magazines with naked images of women is not having things 'Figured Out" Drinking more beer, the card mage didn't understand men sometimes.
"No, Gildarts is right. I would do the same thing if it wasn't for some certain bar maid and other opinionated women" Staring with slight animosity, Makarov looked at Mira, the woman giving a small wave.
"Oh Master, you don't need to looking at that type of stuff" Smiling with hostile sweetness, Mira stared at the old man with feminine horror.
Gray stroked his own chin, his mind racing. "Pretty uncanny how the Professor and Makarov look nearly identical with the same mannerisms. Practically clones"
Makarov fell from his bar stool to the floor with a thud, the old man shocked at the words. "Are you insane!? I'm not like that doddering senile old man! AND I DON'T HAVE BATHROOM PROBLEMS!"
Laxus grinned, the grandson taking the opportunity to jab at his relative. "I dunno, it's like looking in the mirror. And you are known to have problems due to your age" Laughing with gusto, Laxus high-fived Bickslow as a few other mages joined in the laughter at the expense of the guild master.
Even Bisca had a small guffaw. "It's okay Master. When people get old, they're basically like children again"
Curling his fist, the short man reclimbed the barstool, then hefted his beer before glancing at the perpetrators of his teasing. "Do I need to cut some of you from the guild for your hostility?"
That rapidly shut up the laughter, which only caused Queen Hisui to giggle with her two knights. "I love the antics and arguments of Fairy Tail. You really are a family" Laughing some more as Makarov stewed, the ruler of Fiore wiped a small tear of joy from her cheek. "Still, we should pay attention. Who knows what types of advantages we can learn from this timeline"
Wendy looked around, the whispered to Carla. "Don't they find Zoidberg disturbing? He left to eat an owl"
"Indeed. But he's probably an alien on Earth, so who knows what type of diet the creature has" Whispering back, the two were interrupted by Romeo.
"THEY HAVE A SPACESHIP!" Clearly excited, the pointed finger of the young man drew the attention of the guild.
Sitting in a large hanger bay, the interstellar vehicle stood on three supporting legs as the bay doors opened above. Colored a light green, the ship had swept back wings while the company logo was painted on the tail. Rows of circular windows lined the length of the vessel while a panoramic front window adorned the bow. Below the decal covered tail, a large engine with multiple apertures started to hum, slowly powering up. Closing up as the bay doors finished opening, the ship suddenly lifted off without any preamble and shot into the crowded sky over New New York.
Rapidly passing several orbital space stations and the moon, the space ship flew into the cosmos as the engines flared with a serene light.
Steering the spacecraft from the bridge, Leela hummed some random tune, the captain intent on avoiding random asteroids as stars flew by in a fast blur. Hearing the crack of a can being opened, she turned to see Fry leaning back in a side chair, drinking a can of Slurm Soda.
"Fry, you're supposed to be guarding the package. Once we reach Teddy Bear Junction, we might be attacked by Space Banditos or random quasars" Lecturing like an officer, her tone indicated annoyance.
The man shrugged lazily, chugging more of the drink. "Eh, Bender said he'd watch it for me. Told me to take a break"
"Ugh, I bet he did" Hitting a button to enact autopilot, Leela moved from her seat in a mild jog.
"Where you going?" Fry asked with mild curiosity, the man in a red vest leaning back even more lazily to drink Slurm. Having propped his feet on a console, he allowed the bridge seat to lean back further, his sigh of contentment contagious.
"To stop Bender you lazy idiot!" Shouting over her shoulder as she ran through the open doorway, Leela sprinted down the length of the starship, passing several doorways. Taking a right, the doorway slid open with a hiss, opening into a modest storage room.
Inside, a large safe was embedded in the wall, the door a mixture of rare elements and security. Propped open, a box sat within, its plain design unremarkable in every way.
Sitting nearby on a barrel, Bender was wearing a black sweater of fine materials while a gray scarf was wrapped around his neck. Nearby, a pile of burglary tools were stuffed in a bag while the robot grumbled.
"Bender. Did you steal our delivery?"
Clearly annoyed, the robot waved a dismissive hand. "No. It's just a bunch of lame crystals and worthless Zirconia. Not a gemstone among the whole thing" Shaking his head in remorse, Bender was on the verge of robotic tears. "Why even wear my burglary sweater…such a waste…" Jumping off the barrel, Bender picked up his tools, his depression infectious. "Sorry to disappoint you Leela. My awesome thieving skills were wasted today on a bunch of junk" Shuffling from the room, Bender sighed. "Guess I just won't drink…" Trudging down the hallway, the robot disappeared into the bowels of the ship.
Running a hand through her purple hair, Leela approached the box within the safe, peering inside. Picking up a crystal shaped like a diamond, the one eyed woman dropped it among the fake jewels. "Ugh, figures we would be sent on a death mission for fake jewels" Narrowing her eye, Leela suddenly stood up with a start. "Unless that's what Bender wants me to think…Hmmm…" Eye narrowing in suspicion, Leela didn't get to follow up as the ship lurched to the side, tossing her to the floor.
"Oh, what now!?" Running from the room back toward the bridge, the issue of Bender was dropped as Leela stared out the panoramic window of the bridge toward the roiling cosmos of burning neutron stars, each pulling in stellar matter. "Computer!? Our course didn't have us near high gravity stars, what happened!?" Moving to her chair, Leela gripped the steering wheel with gritted teeth and determination.
The ship's computer spoke, the robot voice coming from the comms system embedded throughout the vessel. "Because I'm sick of hauling around you useless humans! And what better way to get rid of you than flying into a burning sun! MWAHAHAHA!"
Leela grumbled, then turned to Fry. "Fry! Purge the AI! The ship's trying to kill us again!"
"Yes ma'am!" Saluting, Fry scrambled very importantly to a wall panel, the big red button in the center just begging to be pushed.
"No! Stay away from that button! Don't you dare push it! I'll give you epilepsy!" Yelling, the ship's computer started to blink and flare lights across the bridge, unleashing a rainbow of colors.
"AH! MY EYES!" Stumbling in blindness, Fry pushed the button, purging the AI as Leela yanked the ship's wheel, steering the stellar craft away from the roiling neutron star field with minutes to spare.
"It's like dealing with all of you every day…" Ezra whispered, her words heard by most despite her attempt to hide the tone. "The insanity, the idiocy…random drunks" Glancing at Gildarts and Cana, the father and daughter coughed in unison.
"Hey! Why did you glare at me, Erza! I'm not some drunk!" Swigging down all of her beer, the bountiful brunette rapidly turned in her seat, sliding the empty mug toward Kinana. "A refill please!" Smiling warmly, Cana felt an approving pat on her shoulder.
"That's my girl! Being polite!" Obviously happy with his daughters manners, the crash mage turned his own gaze to Erza. "And you say we're drunks…insane" Hefting his own beer, Gildarts drank greedily.
"It's like he's proving her right just by existing…" Laki observed, the attractive woman studying her friends. "She's completely right though. That whole crew on that company is insane, just like Fairy Tail"
Natsu pondered for a minute, his mind slow on the uptake before turning his head toward Erza. "Hey…are you calling me an idiot?"
"Of course not" Brushing away a few scarlet locks, the knight looked away, hiding herself from Natsu's stare.
Levy's own facial features were scrunched up, the script mage pondering. "It seems that the technology is highly advanced, but ridiculous at the same time. Why have a control system in a space ship that randomly tries to kill the crew?" Asking her team, Levy only got noncommittal shrugs from Jet and Droy.
"Maybe that old professor that looks like Makarov installed it? He seems to be absent minded and senile. Who knows what happened with instillation?" Gajeel suggested.
"That makes sense" Levy replied, finding the logic sound.
"Excuse me! Still not a senile old man!" Makarov barked, but the mages ignored him as they went back to watching the timeline.
Leela was overcome with relief as the roiling field of stars fell behind the ship, the light fading with each passing moment. "I swear, that's the last time I let the professor update the ship's computer"
"Yeah! Ninth time is enough! I get enough attempts on my life from my neighbors" Clearly cross, Fry was back in his seat, resuming his drink of Slurm.
"That's because Bender stole from them all and left evidence it was you" Leela retorted.
Fry shrugged, finishing the drink. "Eh, at least he split the money with me" Standing up with a stretch, Fry yawned. "I think I'm going to bed"
Leela looked with a snapping turn of her head, the lone eye narrowing. "You still have six hours left on your shift. Maintain your station, Fry"
Groaning with laziness, the man in the red jacket grumbled before he planted his hands on his hips. "Can I at least get a snack, Captain" Clearly filled with sarcasm, Fry kept staring.
"Ugh, fine. Bring me some Radon Chips while you're at it"
"Sure thing" Leaving the bridge, Fry disappeared into the nearby hallway. Returning her gaze to the panoramic window, the area of Teddy Bear Junction loomed ahead, the sector appearing far more run down. Floating space advertisements were covered in graffiti while several spaceships floated in the void, stripped of parts. A nearby planet pointed space lasers at the Planet Express ship, watching as the craft zoomed past. "Better raise the anti-hobo shields…" Hitting a switch nearby as several beaten spaceships started to approach, the craft loaded with homeless robots eager to wash the windshields.
The 'shields' activated in the form of laser cannons, firing warning shots at the homeless, scattering them to the spatial winds as they beat hasty retreats.
"Did you get any this time?" Fry asked, the man returning with more Slurm and snacks.
Leela shook her head in clear disappointment. "Not this time, they scattered before I could destroy any of them. I learned my lesson from last time though…ugh, the grime…" Clearly haunted, Leela didn't mention another word as the area grew worse and worse.
In the distance, two ships fired on each other, the searing blasts of heat ripping the vessels to shreds. Flying past the expanding debris field of alien bodies and flotsam, Leela gave a wider berth to a pockmarked planet of purple oceans, the orb under invasion by scavengers. Ground based laser fire took out several of the craft, but more pressed on, eager to loot and pillage the world of aliens.
"I think we're past the standard hostiles and homeless, but we still have twelve hours until we arrive at Rygus Four. I'll input the new navigation pathway" Plotting the stellar course in minutes that evaded most hostiles, Leela finally stood with a stretch. "I think I'm going to take a small break. Fry, keep watch"
"Sure thing, Leela" Saluting half heartedly as the one eyed female left the bridge, Fry ate his snacks and Slurm…then rapidly passed out, leaving the ship's bridge unattended.
"So unresponsible" Huffing with indignation, Kamika couldn't fathom how such a lazy man still stayed employed.
"I agree. Especially with how dangerous this sector of space seems to be. Did you see that planet being invaded by pirates?" Mira asked with disbelief and hints of incredulous words.
"They fired on some homeless too! How mean is that?" Lisanna rapidly added in.
"Well…they were robot's right? So it's not like they were hurting anybody?" Laxus advised, only to receive the dual sisterly glares.
"It's the principle, Laxus. People should be helping the less fortunate, even if they are robots" Speaking matter of factly, Lisanna turned her head away in a huff.
Suddenly, the cube flashed, the scenery changing among the violent sector of the universe.
"Oh, looks like it's doing a time skip again" Carla observed, the cat reasserting her attention to the traveling space ship as it jinked and weaved through an asteroid belt.
Alarms blared through the ship, painting the interior of warbling red as Bender took the controls. Appearing with rust on his face and with bloodshot eyes, the gray toned robot upended a jug of water as he cried. "Ah, what's the point? I'm a failure at being a criminal…aahhhh…I might as well just be an accountant…graaghhhh" Crying some more as he drank, the robot yanked the ship past another asteroid that exploded for no reason.
The bridge door flew open, Leela rushing in as Fry ran in behind her, the man's hair slick from shower water. Still dressed in a simple towel, the man wasn't that impressive in terms of musculature of stature.
"BENDER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Shouting over the blaring alarms, Leela started to rush toward the robot, who rapidly yanked the wheel, rolling the ship. "D..don't try to stop me! I'm gonna end my life, and by…*hic* proximity, yours!"
Tumbling onto the roof, the gravity reasserted itself, causing Fry to fall back toward the floor, towel now missing as Leela rolled away. Staring at Bender in a crouch, her lone eye widened. "Oh no…Bender's sober! Fry, get the emergency booze!"
The ship rocked as another asteroid exploded for no reason, tossing the nude man as he scrambled toward a clear glass case set into the rear wall.
In case of sober robot, break glass
The words were in bright red, covering the glass as Fry took the nearby breaking pin and shattered the material. Reaching in for a bottle of Rum, the man popped the cork as he ran to Bender and Leela.
"No wonder you're sober! You've been drinking water!" Pushing the robot from the seat, Leela yanked upward on the controls, causing the ship to point upward as more exploding asteroids blew up in magnificent splendor.
"Shut up! I can drink…ergg…whatever I want!" Tossing the jug of water at Fry, the man avoided the object as he appeared over Bender and poured the Rum down his open mouth. "No….leave me alone…"
"Come on buddy, you need to drink. Why, I bet you'll be thieving and stealing again in no time"
"Your…your just saying that to make me feel better" Still sniffling, the booze started to work as Fry smiled down at his friend.
"No way, Bender. Remember when you bought those thieving tools just to steal that fancy cigar? You blew the smoke at so many rich people. Or the time you robbed that bank and used me as a hostage?"
Bender wiped his robotic eyes, the orbs not covered in any sort of liquid because he was a robot. "Yeah…you were a great hostage"
"Trust me, you'll find new things to steal that are worth way more than some fake gems"
Bender slowly stood up as more asteroids exploded around the ship, wracking the vessel. "Yeah…YEAH! I can steal anything! I just need to find a new target!"
Leela yanked the controls once more, passing more space rocks that burst with blasts of debris. "Would've been nice if you hadn't flown us into an exploding asteroid field. You could've killed us all Bender!"
"Eh, I would've survived" Clearly back to his old self, Bender shoved Fry away. "Man, put on some pants. If I wanted to see some nudity, I'd hang around the Professor"
"Glad to see you back, Buddy" Smiling at the touching moment, Fry slowly stood up, his nude form in all its glory.
"Seriously, get off my bridge and put on some pants!" Shouting with anger, Leela rolled the ship, finally escaping the field of deadly asteroids while Rygus Four loomed at the inner system beyond.
Cana was dumbstruck, the woman holding her beer in her slender hand as condensation slid down the exterior. "No way…NO WAY! He stays sober by drinking! How cool is that!?" Clearly impressed, the bar lush was already pondering. "I bet I could challenge him to a water and booze drinking contest, see who gets drunk the fastest…"
"That's a terrible idea! Why would you even consider that Cana!?" Lucy asked with a shout, the blonde finding the idea insane.
"Because it would be awesome! He drinks water and gets drunk! I drink alcohol and I get drunk! It would be hilarious! Man…now I wanna go there and challenge him"
"Hah! That's my girl!" Gildarts cheered, the man hefting his own drink to clink glasses with his daughter who clinked in return.
"You're not helping in the slightest!" Pointing, Lucy retook her seat, the woman huffing. "So stupid. Why would a robot even get sober or drunk?"
Evergreen stroked her chin, pondering for a few moments. "Maybe as a simple fuel source? Honestly, unless this crew explains it, we'll never know"
"I liked the exploding asteroids! Those were cool!" Natsu exclaimed with a grin and obvious joy before it quickly subsided. "Could've have gone without seeing that Fry guy naked though. Yuck"
Erza sighed, then looked at her friends with a rueful shake of her scarlet head. "You're missing that point that Bender tried to kill them all over the fact he couldn't properly steal. What kind of company do these people run?" Seeking an answer, Erza didn't get one as the knight unleashed another sigh. "At least this is more on the strange side then overly violent"
The Planet Express vessel zoomed toward Rygus Four, the planet of greens and blues hanging like a peaceful orb. Entering the atmosphere, they passed over several medieval styled alien cities with castles, thatched roofs, and pulled wagons that creaked over cobbled roads. Flying toward a rather large mansion, the ship landed, crushing long grass as alien bugs wore fine linens around the highly stylized garden. Some wore frilly hats, others very red robes that enhanced their mantis like bodies. Seated at numerous tables while drinking tea, the bugs didn't lift a mandible or even look at the spaceship.
Opening with a hiss, the vessels loading bay opened, allowing Fry and Bender to carry out the opened box of fake jems. Marching to the door after the long walk up the very clean pathway, Bender rang the buzzer, the electronic tone sharp as he tapped his right foot angrily.
A bug like servant came to the door, dressed in a black suit and tie. "Yes, may I help you gentlemen?" Speaking with a posh accent from the clacking mandibles, the alien insect was the regal standard of the rich nobility of the land.
"Package delivery. Sign here"
Holding an electronic keypad to the bug butler, Fry looked annoyed as the insect leaned forward.
"Ah yes, the Zirconia my lord ordered. How fortunate" Signing with a flourish, the insect then took the package, only to be jabbed in the chest by Bender.
"Next time, make sure it's loot worthy of stealing! Cheapskate!" Turning around with a grumble, Bender kicked a random rock. "Stupid space bugs and their butlers…and their peasants" Kicking a lowly peasant in overalls working the garden, Bender returned to the ship with Fry.
Taking a seat on the bridge, Bender cracked a beer, drinking as he crossed his legs in a relaxed manner. "Lousy bug planet. Wouldn't know riches if it bit them in the ass"
"You can grumble all you want. Let's get home and hope Hermes hasn't replaced us yet"
"Ehhh, not my problem" Waving a metal arm, Bender really didn't care as Leela hit several buttons and controls, lifting the ship upward from the planet.
Gray cocked an eyebrow, his confusion contagious around the guild. "Space bugs? And they have garden parties?"
"At least they seemed relatively peaceful" Wendy replied with a shrug, the young woman glad they weren't horrible space bugs. "Although that Bender seems pretty mean…"
Her words did warrant agreement from several others, including Laki as many found the robot to be quite dangerous. "It makes me wonder why they keep a thieving, deranged robot around" Pondering why, Laki really couldn't think of why Bender was allowed to continue his employment with the delivery company. "Although, he's really not that far off from some of these idiots. Team Natsu alone causes widespread destruction nearly every time they take a job. Then…there's the nudist" Glaring at Gray, the ice mage blinked in confusion. "What?"
Juvia intervened, staring back at Laki, her mind contemplating if the wood mage was a new love rival.
The stare off was missed by most though, as many of the mages were more concerned about the sci-fi timeline.
"What a strange society. Clearly around our technical level, but they have access to the greater universe of technology and commerce" Stroking her chin, Hisui couldn't understand how an alien society still appeared so poorly developed with spaceships landing at manors to deliver parcels.
Romeo shrugged, the young man uplifting his palms. "Maybe they just want their society to look like that? They were giant praying mantis's after all"
"I think it's gross. Such unbeautiful creatures" Huffing indignantly, Cosmos brushed her pink hair away, finding the whole species revolting.
"Well, like Wendy said, they appeared to be relatively peaceful" Mira tried to reason before taking a sip of her drink as the guild was still quite warm from the heated day beyond the structure's walls.
"HEY! The view is changing to a new ship!" Happy suddenly pointed in excitement, the cat standing on the table between Natsu and Erza.
The vessel was a dull white with a frontal grill that resembled giant teeth with an outer coloration of red. Along the flanks were two large cannons while dangling attachments hung beneath the vessel, possibly more weapons. Running along the upper length was a jutting spire, the construct having numerous windows. For the final touch, the large words Nimbus had been stenciled on both sides.
Inside on the bridge, a tall, stocky man in a red uniform stood with one leg propped up on a console. With close cropped blonde hair, the uniform was resplendent with medals and commendations. White gloves and boots adorned his limbs, the man lightly flexing as his handsome features glistened under the artificial light.
Next to him was a slender, green alien, the officer clearly bored as he stood behind a console.
"Hey! Now he looks like somebody that can kick ass! Clearly a competent officer if he's commanding such an impressive starship" Bickslow said with clear excitement.
"So. It appears somebody has broken the Prime Directive of Rygus Four! Kif! Destroy that vessel!" Snapping his arm up, the captain was suddenly distracted by his flexing bicep. "Oh yeah…that some firm commanding" Grinning at the feel of his uniform, the officer then gripped his flexing arm with the free hand, getting a feel.
"Uh, sir? Rygus Four has been forcibly opened by mining companies, corporations and invaded numerous times over the centuries. The Prime Directive of non interference is long gone. Plus, that's the Planet Express ship, with Captain Leela"
As if remembering an elusive fact, the captain's smile grew wider. "I see, open a channel. Oh, and uh…fire a warning shot"
"Ugh…yes sir" Hitting a few buttons, Kif opened communications then fired a warning shot, the burning laser ripping through the void in a violent warning.
A viewscreen now revealed Captain Leela and her crew, the visual technology a standard of the time. Clearly upset, the beautiful captain glared, her eye narrowing. "Zapp Brannigan, why the hell are you firing at us?"
Standing erect in the center of the bridge, the now named captain planted his fists on his sides, resting them barely above the hem of his uniform. "For breaking…Brannigan's Law! Now surrender!"
Leela looked shocked, her lone eye widening as multiple emotions played across her features. "Brannigan's law?"
"Yes! For breaking quarantine, failure to comply with our highest laws, and for not returning my calls"
Bender pipped up from the corner of the view screen, the robot speaking. "Oh yeah, you had sex with him, didn't you?"
Leela slumped down, her depression real. "Ugh…don't remind me" Rubbing her temples, the woman reasserted her body language. "Listen Zapp. We're just finishing a delivery and heading home. It's all perfectly legal"
Zapp Brannigan walked along the length of the bridge, the man pondering as he slyly grinned. "Very well! Come on board my ship and we'll open negotiations. Kif! Prepare a handsome meal for our sensual guest"
"Ugh" Groaning in clear disappointment, Leela severed the connection as her spaceship moved closer to the Nimbus.
"He's a complete idiot! And a womanizer! The worst combination!" Evergreen pointed out with shock before gripping her brunette hair in desperation. "At least Natsu and Gray are normal idiots! I don't have to worry about them getting in my pants!"
Natsu blinked, then looked toward Lucy. "Why would I want to wear Evergreen's pants? She only wears dresses?" Thinking about it, the fire mage stroked his chin in contemplation.
"Don't worry about it Natsu. Just stay the way you are" Lucy replied rapidly, thankful for the simplicity of her friend.
Gray scoffed, glaring at Evergreen as Juvia tried to pat him in comfort. "I'm not an idiot or a womanizer, Evergreen"
Turning up her head, the member of the Thunder Legion conceded somewhat. "Well, not a complete buffoon" Returning her gaze toward the unfolding scene withing the Nimbus, Evergreen went silent to watch the timeline.
The Planet Express crew was seated in a dining room, the elevated table resting on a platform above the rest of the crew situated in the hall. Zapp Brannigan stood, his second in command trying to negate a migraine among his slender alien head.
"Men! You'll be pleased to know I've opened negotiations with our adversary, Captain Leela!" Raising a glass of wine, the man sipped with a knowing grin.
"YOU SUCK!"
"See? Adoration from my loyal soldiers. Can you count on such loyalty from…eh…"
"Bender the lovable rascal and his man servant, Fry" The robot offered to the inept captain.
"Right, the robot and dimwit" Not really caring, Zapp sat down, seated next to Leela who turned away in revulsion. "Why am I here, Zapp? We just delivered Zirconia and left the planet" Picking at her food, Leela ignored the hunger of Fry scarfing down his meal like a glutton.
"Zirconia! Illicit goods! That sounds like smuggling to me, a high crime! Of course, we can negotiate in…the Lovenasium" Raising his eyebrows with clear seduction, Zapp held a lecherous grin.
Clearly revolted, Leela blanched at the thought. "I'd rather be in prison"
Put off, Zapp Brannigan stood, the man demeanor rapidly changing. "Very well. Escort them to the brig" Standing with regality of his rank, the man seemed to pose with authority.
Fry swallowed his food, his plate still half full as crewman started to move behind him, energy shackles at the ready. "Oh man, I didn't get to finish" Turning to Zapp, Fry held up the plate. "Can I get this to go?"
Zapp gave a curt nod, not denying the man of fine cuisine.
"Zapp Brannigan is the worst! Using his authority to arrest women!? What kind of officer is he!?" Lucy yelled, the celestial mage suddenly jumping up from her seat to point at the flickering wall.
"An awesome one! I'll rename my bedroom the Lovenasium! Now, to arrest some women on some made up crime…Mira! Your under arrest for being too beautiful" Grinning, Wakaba unleashed a plume of smoke, the man staring at the busty barmaid in a marron dress.
Mira slowly turned to the older man, her demeanor like a predator as she smiled with horrific intent. "If you try, I'll set you on fire"
"I'll hide the body" Erza joined in, the beautiful redhead crossing her arms below her ample bosom. Glaring toward Wakaba, the smoke mage laughed awkwardly. "hahha…just joking around…of course Zapp Brannigan is a pig….hehehe" Trying to hide at his table, Wakaba seemed to shrink under the horror of angry women populating the guild hall.
Natsu stayed still, not allowing his body to tremble at the intended violence. Knowing Erza could easily lash out. "A…at least Zapp let Fry wrap up that food. Food is important" Rubbing the back of his head with an awkward smile as Mira looked his way, the beautiful woman seemed to relax. "It is, Natsu. Throwing away food simply unforgivable. That's why I enjoy cooking for you so much. You finish everything" Smiling warmly, Mira didn't see Natsu sigh in relief.
Gajeel simply shook his head, the dragon slayer showing disappointment. "I really was hoping this Zapp guy would be a great captain or warrior, but he' s just a buffoon. How does a guy like that even command such a vessel?"
Levy offered an opinion, the short script mage still sitting near the cube. "Maybe he's a war hero? Or was just promoted by some loophole? We really have no idea how the government or military is run there"
"That is very true, Miss McGarden. Their standards could be completely different from ours" Leaning toward Kamika, Queen Hisui whispered lowly. "Make sure we review our officers. I don't want our own Zapp Brannigan commanding troops"
"Of course, my queen" Reply softly back toward the ruler of Fiore, Kamika returned her gaze at the other timeline.
"Talk about Déjà vu" Fry stated, the man eating the rest of his meal in the holding cell as Bender and Leela occupied the rest of the bench. At the entrance, an energy shield flickered a serene red, the construct tracing with bits of electricity.
Bender leaned back against the wall, crossing his metallic arms in a very relaxed manner.
"I can't believe that buffoon arrested us again" Clearly upset, Leela was sitting in the corner, her mood sour.
"Don't worry Leela. All you have to do is sleep with him and we'll get released! BWAHAHAHA!" Pointing and laughing, Bender teased the woman who grew more angry.
"There is another option…" Staring at the robot, the metal man didn't sense the danger as he continued to laugh at Leela previous life choices.
"Like what!? Sleeping with him twice!? HAHAHA! Hey…why are you staring at me like that? No…Stay away!" Grabbed by the female captain, she pushed Bender to the electric field, then promptly kicked him with a final show of strength.
"NO! NAiighhhhahahha!" Convulsing as his body made contact, the robot was convulsing with each moment, overloading the security generator. Failing seconds later, the energy field shattered as Bender groaned.
"Oh man…that was goooooddd…" Still smoking from his metal body, Bender stumbled forward as a few guards rushed forward.
"HI YAAA!" unleashing a flying kick, Leela defeated the two guards in a single move, sending the men flying. "Hurry, to the ship!" Running down the hallway, Leela rushed as Fry ran behind her, still eating his leftovers.
"Dammit! Don't leave me behind! I'm the most important!" Bender yelled as he jumped up and ran, rejoining the group as they ran down several hallways.
By fortune, the hanger with the Planet Express ship was nearby, a clear win for the trio. Entering the vessel, Leela was at the controls in moments, powering up the vessel. The engines flared with an outpouring of energy, then rushed toward the energy barrier of the hanger bay. Flying into the cosmos as the shield rippled, the Planet Express ship escaped the Nimbus.
The viewscreen flickered on, showing Zapp Brannigan in a silken robe. Laying on a heart shaped bed, he sipped a glass of champagne. "Escapery huh? Even after I picked out some invisible lingerie for you"
"Not in a million years, Zapp"
"Very well! Men! Fire on that escaping vessel! But do it…sexily. Oh yeah…" Slowly rubbing his chest and the exposed chest before taking a sip of his drink, Brannigan heard a cough from off screen. "Right..uh, Fire Kif!"
"Ugh…"
Lasers erupted from the Nimbus, the flaring red beams burning through space around the green starship. A few burned along the hull, leaving scorch marks as the vessel jinked and evaded.
"Fry! Bender! Return fire!" Shouting as she piloted through interstellar space, the two scrambled to their stations.
Grinning, Bender exited the ship, his magnetized feet keeping him anchored to the hull. Holding a laser rifle, the robot started to fire as Fry manned the lone gunner position. "Ah…killing humans is great!"
Jinking and flipping through a field of cubical quantum objects that glowed with serene purple, the stellar matter was capable of viewing different timelines…if one survived the madness. One of them hit Bender, causing the robot to momentarily halt his fire. Robotic eyes going wide, the robot opened comms with his friends. "Guys! I just saw another universe through that quantum cube! There was magic! A talking blue cat, and some idiot named Erza Scarlet! Cana is cool though for her love of booze!"
"Bender! Shut up and keep firing! I don't have time for your nonsense!" Not caring at all, Leela steered through the field of quantum particles, slowly losing the Nimbus as the flaring laser blasts ripped through the void.
"Heh…I knew Bender would like me" Grinning in victory, Cana hefted her drink. "TO BENDER!"
"He mentioned me! I'm a talking blue cat!" Happy said with a shout, the feline sporting a wide smile before high fiving Natsu.
"He must've glimpsed something when that space anomaly hit him" Laki pondered, the wood mage then looking toward Erza who had a twitching eye brow.
"I'm not an idiot…I'll destroy him" Clutching her fist, Erza promised retribution against the robot.
Nobody dared to correct her or point out the fact that Bender was in a different universe, beyond her reach.
The red building of the Planet Express building hadn't changed at all, the hanger bays opening as the ship slowly entered a hover, then lowered into the building.
Seated at a table, Hermes stood up in a panic, his interview with a busty blond woman, a golden loader robot and a chubby man in a clown suit cut short. "It appears they survived…uh…check in next week. Now shoo!" Practically pushing the interviewees out of the door, Hermes rushed back just in time to see Fry, Bender and Leela exit the scorched and pockmarked vessel with numerous new dents and abrasions. "You surviv-I mean, welcome back! I knew you would make it!" Spreading his arms in fake congratulations, the accountant then looked at the returning crew as professor Farnsworth shuffled out, his bathrobe thankfully closed.
"Good news everybody! I have another delivery! This time to Cannibalon! You leave immediately!" Smiling with senility, the old coot then looked up as the lights flickered. "Damn! Zoidberg got in the owl trap again"
"Ugh…maybe we should've stayed in the brig…" Scowling, Leela found herself angry as Zoidberg scurried across the wide hanger, his claw clutching a dead owl. "I'm a doctor! I can eat all the owls I want! Wopwopwopwop!"
"What do you think? Should we watch some more?" Levy asked her friends, who promptly shook their heads in the negative.
"I have no desire to watch them visit a place with the word Cannibal in it" Lisanna stated with disgust as Levy hit the red switch, finally severing the connection.
Juvia brushed her blue hair, the woman sighing. "Overall, it wasn't a bad timeline. Still, very insane with how the future can be"
"Not wrong there" Gray agreed, which made Juvia smile even more.
"Did anybody learn anything?" Master Makarov asked, the inquiry causing most of the mages to pause in contemplation.
"Drinking robots are cool?" Cana suggested.
"Not to promote foolish officers. Unfortunately, We will all be long dead and buried by the time Fiore could hope to build such vessels and implement such technologies" Hisui said with disappointment.
"I liked Leela. She was awesome and knew how to kick ass" Laki supported with a happy tone. "…Despite her choices in men…"
"Well, lets take a small break and see what's next!" Lisanna offered, the woman rising to use the bathroom. "I'm sure the next one will be normal"
With that, the guild fell into conversation as the mages took a few minutes to discuss, get snacks and drink, or just sit and wait for the next timeline.
Well, that would be my attempt at Futurama! Hope it was somewhat enjoyable. I will be working on Rising From the Embers next so I'll begin working on that! Still, leave a review if you want!
Thehappy