CHAPTER 3

The next week went by the same way It had gone by before Carlisle's visit. I succumbed to doing household chores during the day and every night I cried myself to sleep, because it was the one time of the whole day that I couldn't escape from my anguished thoughts.

About a week after Carlisle's visit, I couldn't sleep almost the whole night. I had fallen asleep like usually, but few hours in I woke up from a terrible nightmare. In my dream Edward was mortal and someone shot him many times and he died in my arms. It seemed so vivid, so real. I woke up covered in cold sweat. I couldn't sleep at all after that. I grew so frustrated that I had a little meltdown, I threw things and I yelled and I cried and Charlie came to see what was going on. He tried to comfort me, but I told him I needed to get out of the house. It was 5 a.m. It was still dark and he didn't want to let me go anywhere, but I reminded him that it was Forks, nothing happened here even in the dark. So I went for a little walk.

When I returned, he suggested that I should see a doctor.

'A doctor…'

"That's actually not a bad idea, dad. I'll give him a call." It was a great idea. And I knew exactly who to call.

"That's good, Bells. Call the doctor. I'm going to head out. Have a better day and try to maybe do a little nap."

"Ok, bye, dad. See you later."

He nodded, took his jacket and left the house. I waited until we had driven away and then pulled out my phone and called him.

"Bella?" Of course he knew my number right away.

"Carlisle, hey, I got your e-mail and it's kind of late, but I apologize for my awful behavior when you last visited me."

"No need to apologize, Bella. It's understandable given what you are going through. Besides, I didn't explain myself very well."

"No, it was all me, but thank you. Now, apologizing wasn't the only reason I called."

"I'm listening." He sounded curious and calm.

"I was wondering if you were far away, I need to talk to you, face to face. It's really important."

"I understand. I'm near Seattle now, so not very far. Do you need me to come right away, I could be there by this afternoon?"

"Only If it's not too much trouble."

"It's no trouble. Don't worry about it. Where do we meet, do you want me to come by the house?"

"No." I then realized I had said it to abruptly. "I mean could we meet in the woods just behind my house?"

"Of course. I'll send you a message when I'm close to Forks."

"Sounds great. Thank you, Carlisle, so much." And I really was grateful. I wanted and needed to clear the air with him.

"No need to thank me. It's my pleasure. See you soon, Bella." I thought I could hear him smile now.

"Yeah, bye." And I hung up.

Then I looked at the clock and laid down on the couch in the living room, trying to rest and maybe have a little nap after the night I had.

It was probably because I was so tired, but I fell asleep instantly and luckily didn't see any bad dreams. When I woke up it was already almost 1 p.m. and I decided I would make dinner for Charlie before Carlisle arrived.

Just as the oven beeped to let me know that the lasagna was ready, my phone also buzzed to let me know that I got a new text. It was Carlisle letting me know to meet him in 20 minutes.

Exactly 20 minutes later I stepped outside having put on my summer jacket and once I was in the woods, far enough that no one would see or hear us, I called out to him.

"Carlisle?"

Not a second later I felt him behind me. I turned around and he had a smile on which fell as soon as he saw my face.

"What's wrong?" He asked seriously and worriedly. I should have known. He was a doctor, nothing would get past him.

"I-" I stopped what I was starting to say, because he put his fingers under my chin and made me look him straight in the eye.

"You're so pale, eyes red…Bella, did you sleep at all last night?"

"Yeah, couple of hours."

"Couple of hours?"

"I had a nightmare, and I couldn't sleep anymore…That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

I looked as a realization dawned on his concerned face.

"You want me to get you sleeping pills?" He sighed.

"More like sedatives."

"Why sedatives?"

"It wasn't just that I couldn't sleep, I also had a little meltdown last night. Well, actually early in the morning. I have had them from time to time."

"From time to time?"

I nodded.

He sighed, "Alright I'll get you some sedatives, but you can't take them every day, you can get addicted."

"Got it."

"And I'll bring you some antidepressants-"

"That's not necessary."

"Yes, it is. You take them for 6 weeks or maybe a little longer and by the time you go off to college, you'll feel better."

I looked away considering and he searched my face, "Do we have a deal, Bella?"
I looked at him and smiled a little, "Yeah, yeah, deal."

"Alright." He said with smile.

"Carlisle, I'm so sorry for how I behaved last time you were here. I shouldn't have thought the worst of you."

"It's okay, Bella. Like I said, I didn't explain myself very well." He offered me another smile.

"The truth is I have nothing against us being friends. Actually I'd like that very much. I mean, I love you guys, and just because Edward is being difficult, doesn't mean that I should stop being friends with the rest of you. Right?"

"Right. That's very sweet of you to say. Thank you, Bella." He continued to smile.

"So how fast can you get me those pills?"

"How about by tomorrow morning?"

"That would be great. Let's meet here, again. I'd ask you over, but-"

"But you are worried about what people would say when they saw an older man visiting you that often?"

"No, not people." I shook my head. "Only Charlie. He would find out and it's just too much explaining."

"I understand. Our society can be quite conservative."

"Yeah, so I'll see you tomorrow. Charlie leaves the house about 8:30 a.m."

"I'll be here, in this very spot 9 a.m." Carlisle smiled reassuringly.

"Okay, great, see you then."

I turned around and started to walk away, but he called my name, so I turned around.

"Try to get some sleep in the meantime, alright?."

I nodded, "Yeah." I turned around walked those few meters to my house. And went back to doing my household chores, waiting for tomorrow morning.