Chapter 14: The Dam
It was now Tuesday morning, four days since Izuku had run away. So far the only ones that knew were the League. He wondered how long it would be before U.A. realized he was missing.
Even when they did find out and try contacting him, he didn't plan on answering. Izuku was very much enjoying his time with the League. There were no expectations for him to reach and there was no one yelling at and degrading him.
Sure, Izuku could tell that the League was dying to ask him more questions, but at least they had the decency to not hound him for the answers. Unlike his classmates, who were always smuggling their way into his business.
It was a nice change of pace considering what he was used to. Ever since he turned four people have never left him alone. They always shoved their ways into his life, even if he wanted nothing to do with them. Because he was weak, he was pushed around.
Ever since he turned four, he had been degraded and beaten to a pulp almost daily. He never went home without some type of injury. It was usually a bruise or a burn from Bakugou, but sometimes the other kids would start using their quirks as well.
That didn't occur till middle school though. When they got to middle school, the kids started to get craftier. They started to leave wounds on his body in spots where they were hard to see. Purposefully so that someone could never tell that Izuku was being hurt.
Even the things they said got worse. In elementary school, it was just the occasional 'Deku is useless' sphele. But when middle school came around, it became an insult buffet.
Constantly being tripped in the halls and laughed at, constantly being called useless, pathetic, and weak. Their insults grew stronger the older they all got. But Izuku's dam wasn't sure if it could take anymore.
It was easy to say that the worst person to ever come into his life was Bakugou though. Izuku felt pathetic for even blindly following Bakugou around when they were kids. It nerves him that he couldn't even realize how much of a jerk Bakugou was till their last year of middle school.
As soon as he was diagnosed as quirkless, their friendship stopped. Izuku was the only one who tried to drag it on, and it felt foolish.
He had become Bakugo's personal punching bag by that time, but Izuku was too blindsided to even notice. Daily burns and scabs from Bakugou. It was the norm having to go home and apply burn cream and bandages on himself.
But no matter what Bakugo did, it still took forever for the dam to break. Izuku didn't think it would ever break. He was naive.
Izuku truly realized what he had been through all his life when Bakugo told him to do it.
Izuku's heart broke when Bakugo said it. "Take a swan dive off the roof and pray for a quirk in your next life"
It was like a punch to his gut. And even though he had endured plenty of physical wounds, none of them could ever hold a candle to those words.
And it just continued to worsen.
That same day he almost died twice to the same villain. He was told by All Might, his idol, that he couldn't be a hero without a quirk. Now that felt like a slap across the face. It felt like his life was laid before him, and then he was told all his dreaming had been for naught.
The other things that had happened to him didn't even matter anymore because his dream was just crushed. Stomped on and yanked before the flame was slowly but surely blown out.
He felt empty, and for the first time in his life, Izuku truly realized that he was tired. So tired.
Izuku was never able to tell he was tired because he was always too busy hoping and dreaming that everything would return to the way it had been before.
But now that Izuku realized he was tired, he realized that his life was pointless. All the hopes and dreams he ever had, useless. None of it mattered now, because it never did.
Even when he went in to save Bakugou while the Pro heroes just stood there, he got scolded. He got scolded for trying to save a life. Bakugo wasn't breathing till Izuku hit the slime villain in the eye with his backpack.
And sure, he only put himself in more danger trying to claw Bakugou out, but at least it inspired All Might to go over his limit and save them.
The cruel reality was that if Izuku didn't run in, Bakugo would've died. That's why he didn't understand why he got yelled at. Izuku still doesn't understand why he got yelled at when the Pro's were just standing there watching a kid die.
They were more worried about having a flashy battle and right quirk for the job that they didn't stop and use their heads. A quirkless kid outstanding them, only using a backpack and throwing it at the villains eye.
Death Arms could've easily punched the villain in the eye, or even Kamui Woods, but they were oblivious to that fact. Mount Lady could've even helped people escape the scene with her hands since she couldn't get through.
But none of that happened.
They all just stood there and said they weren't the right person for the job. And that was the problem, they all depended so much on their own quirks that when it came to a situation where they couldn't use them, they all became headless chickens.
It was laughable that Izuku had done all the work, and then gotten scolded. He even got yelled at by Bakugou on his way home. Not even a thank you for saving his life.
Izuku knew Bakugou wasn't stupid. He knew that Bakugou was probably thinking something along the same lines as he was.
If Izuku hadn't run in, Bakugou would be dead.
That was the cruel reality, and that also made it extremely hard not to blow up in All Might's face when he came flying around the corner.
Izuku was just waiting to be yelled at again, by the number one hero no less. It always happened. Every situation ended up with him getting in trouble, no one else.
So when All Might told him he could be a hero, the flame in his chest flickered just a little bit.
He could be a hero.
But as soon as that flame had appeared, it was immediately snuffed back out by All Might's next words.
Izuku could be a hero, but with All Might's quirk. He couldn't be a hero without one, but he could be a hero by being given a quirk.
In the end, it was still All Might saying that without power, he was nothing. Without One For All, he was just that weak quirkless kid again.
Even though he accepted the offer, Izuku went home filled with pent up rage. He was lucky that his mom decided to go out, because Izuku punched his wall as hard as he possibly could when he got home.
It didn't leave so much as a dent in the wall, but it felt so good to finally connect his fist with something.
That night, he had an emotional breakdown. He couldn't take it anymore. All the things he had been bottling up since the ripe age of four, came crashing down.
He allowed himself to become angry once, and only once. Just because anger always left him nowhere.
That's why he started holding in how he felt, so his anger wouldn't be seen as something to capitalize on. And even though it felt good to let go, it still hurt that something as simple as being angry could be a weakness.
That's why after that night, he never let himself get angry again. He wouldn't allow his anger to have the ability to define his entire person. He just wouldn't.
When Izuku had cried out his anger in Dabi's warm embrace, he felt so relieved. It was the first time in years that he had allowed himself to truly break down.
And the best part about it, was the fact that the League didn't judge him. They told him that it was okay to cry, and that sometimes you just have to let go of whatevers bothering you.
Izuku wished he was told that when he was younger, but he wasn't. His mother could've held him and let him cry on her, but she didn't.
Even his own mother didn't really care. She said that she didn't want anything to do with his tears. It was like she was telling him his tears were acidic and they were gonna burn right through her.
She didn't even care about his injuries either. Whenever Izuku brought up his injuries at the beginning of middle school, she just said that he was an attention seeker. He even showed her the wounds littering his body, and she still turned away.
The only thing Izuku could remember her doing for him when he was younger was her just buying the medical supplies that he used daily. That was another thing.
She knew.
She knew he was getting bullied, but all she ever did was restock the supplies. She just let it happen.
It was basically her way of saying he deserved whatever happened to him. Like she was agreeing with all the horrid things that had been said and done to him. It made Izuku sick.
The League were the first people to ever see through the walls he so desperately put up, and they were the first to help.
Sometimes Izuku wished that his friends at U.A. saw through his charade of laughs and happy smiles, but they never did.
Not even Mr. Aizawa who hid his emotions behind a blank mask saw who Izuku was behind his happy go lucky act.
And not even his own mentor All Might saw it. He was always saying how happy Izuku was on a daily basis. But the truth was, he was never happy.
Yeah, he did get a super powerful quirk, but it broke his bones. Izuku now had to live with permanent damage in his hands, and all because All Might couldn't be a decent teacher.
Telling people to just throw their fists around is silly because it won't work. It may work for All Might, but that's because he's All Might. No one else is All Might, so no one else can be like him. Even though Izuku has the same quirk as All Might, he just can't be like him.
Izuku had asked All Might a multitude of times for help in controlling One For All, but he was waved off every time. He was always told that he was doing just fine, and to just continue what he was previously doing.
But Izuku couldn't do that. One For All wasn't that active with All Might, but it was buzzing with energy for Izuku.
Just recently Izuku had started to see shadowy figures and lights in his dreams. At first, he had no idea who they were, but he was able to figure it out when he caught wind of one of their conversations.
The only word Izuku heard was nine. There was only so much the number nine could mean, but Izuku knew what it meant. They were referring to him as the ninth holder of One For All.
Once he came upon that realization, he started seeing the figures more. And once they were clear enough for Izuku to see, he started seeing their memories.
It wasn't pleasant seeing other people's memories, especially when a fraction of them had been brutally murdered. The influx of memories also hurt Izuku's head from time to time, giving him random migraines during the day.
It was not fun.
The hardest part about it though was trying to understand. He's seen at least two people be murdered already, while seeing snippets of others. The thing in common was the fact that the two people were killed by the same person.
Izuku assumed that it was All For One, considering All Might had told him he was always trying to steal One For All back.
That's where Izuku doesn't understand though. When All For One approached the holders, he just seemed desperate and sad. He didn't look like he wanted to kill them, he just wanted it back.
And whenever All For One didn't get it back, he always wore the most solemnest expression on his face. He always looked devastated that he had failed.
Of course, it was only with two people so far, but Izuku had a feeling it was the same story with the rest.
This had Izuku question what All For One truly wanted. Why did he want One For All back, and why did he look so sad when he failed to get it?
Izuku had a feeling he would probably only get the answer from the man himself.
To Izuku, it seemed like the story of the brother's quirks had gotten in quite the mix up over time, so he didn't know what to believe.
All Izuku could really do was tell himself he was doing just fine and he would figure it out eventually.
But Izuku knew he wasn't doing 'just fine'
Frankly, Izuku was never fine. But he was another one of those people who got blinded by his own facade. The only reason Izuku knows he's not fine is because his dam broke.
It didn't rebuild itself back up either, it just continued to break every single day.
It hadn't halted once, until now.
Izuku didn't know it, but as soon as he was in the possession of the League, the dam stopped breaking.
And maybe, just maybe, it would stop breaking for good.