SUMMONING

Malconax the Malodorous disappeared from the depths of hell in a puff of sulfur smoke. Ignoring the mortal for the moment, Malconax measured the diameter of the summoning circle, then spun it around. It measured 66.6 inches all the way around. He plucked a grain of salt from the circle surrounding him, dissolved it in holy water, and swirled it around until he saw flecks of light shimmering off the salt.

Having verified the purity of the salt, he turned his attention to the lines of blood painting the pentagram. A cursory swipe revealed the blood was still wet, and the taste was of a newborn lamb. The candles themselves had wax scraped off their sides and mixed into a chronometer. Their absorption spectrum matched the correct shade of red.

"Very well done, mortal," Malconax said in a deep, sonorous timbre. "Tell me what it is you desire."

Izuku closed a leatherbound book. "Hello Malconax. You perform any service in exchange for a human soul, correct?"

Malconax let out a rumbling chuckle. Humans always thought themselves clever, offering the souls of other people, never realizing that the only soul they truly owned was their own. "Of course. State thy bidding, and thine will be done."

"My mother says that you should always offer payment up front, to ensure there are not any misunderstandings."

Malconax grinned. Now it was looking like he could swipe the kid's soul and be done with it. "But of course. Present thine offering."

Izuku reached into his chest, and for a second, Malconax wondered if the kid was truly going to hand him his own soul. Instead, Izuku took out a jar that held a glowing wisp. Malconax opened the jar and pinched the soul between his talons.

The soul shivered. "Ooh, harder daddy."

Malconax dropped the soul. "What in the infernal realms is this?"

"That is a soul."

Malconax snarled. "I can see that boy! Why in Satan's name did it just moan in pleasure at me?"

"My mother made ethically crafted souls that enjoy torture to exchange for favors with demons. You will find that the soul contained in that jar is the personal property of Izuku Midoriya, per the written contract provided by St. Peter and signed by the twelve apostles."

Malconax reviewed the contract carefully, then glared at the soul. The soul asked, "Not into the moaning? I can always fake some tears if that's what gets you going."

With a disgusted frown, Malconax said, "Fine. What do you want?"

"My family is going on vacation, and they do not take dogs. Watch the family dog until we return home."

Malconax facepalmed. "You're offering a human soul for a dog sitter."

"All the other dog sitters refuse our dog."

"You know what? Fine. Can't be any worse than Cerberus."

"Good. Here you go."

Izuku dumped a t-rex on Malconax, changed into a Hawaiian t-shirt, and flew through the ceiling. Demon and dinosaur stared at each other. Then the dinosaur started growling.

500

Inko hires demons to do the house cleaning because fabricating souls is far cheaper than paying a livable wage.