Emily Meyers stepped into the office and was immediately hit by a wave of heat and the unmistakable sounds of jungle ambience. The usual scent of stale coffee and printer toner had been replaced by a strange mix of spices and, disturbingly, the faint musk of what she could only assume was an animal.
"What fresh hell is this?" she muttered under her breath.
As she approached the breakroom, her suspicions were confirmed. The office had been transformed yet again, this time into a chaotic celebration of South Africa. Fake savanna grass lined the walls, and a playlist of tribal drums and wildlife sounds boomed from portable speakers. Tables were laden with colorful dishes: Bunny Chow, Tomato Bredie, and platters of dried biltong. A cage in the corner housed an assortment of reptiles, with a sign that read "Meet the Wildlife!"
And there, at the center of it all, was Luke Edmunds, wearing khaki shorts and a wide-brimmed safari hat. He was holding a live snake, grinning like a National Geographic host.
"Welcome to South Africa Day!" he called out, his voice carrying over the din. "Get ready for an authentic adventure!"
Emily clenched her fists. "Not today, Luke."
By the time she reached her desk, her patience was already thin. But what awaited her was enough to push her over the edge.
A giant plated lizard—easily two feet long—was sprawled across her keyboard. Its scaly body glistened under the fluorescent lights, and its beady eyes seemed to mock her as it flicked its tongue lazily.
"LUKE!" she screamed, her voice echoing across the office.
The lizard didn't budge, but half the office turned to stare, some suppressing laughter while others took out their phones to document the spectacle. Emily could already hear the whispers.
"Is she scared of it?"
"Classic Emily."
"Is that thing even allowed in here?"
Storming into the breakroom, Emily found Luke mid-conversation with a group of coworkers. He was holding a plate of Bunny Chow and gesturing animatedly, the snake still draped around his neck like a scaly scarf.
"LUKE!" she yelled, cutting through his story.
He turned to her, his grin widening. "Ah, Emily! Or should I say, Nkosi?"
"Don't call me Nkosi," she snapped. "What the hell is that thing on my desk?"
He tilted his head innocently. "What thing?"
"The lizard!" she shouted. "It's huge, it's alive, and it's sitting on my keyboard!"
Luke's grin widened. "Oh, you mean Tandi. She's a sweetheart, isn't she?"
"Tandi?" Emily repeated, her voice dripping with disbelief. "You named it?"
"Of course," he said, taking a bite of his Bunny Chow. "She's part of the experience. A true ambassador of South Africa's incredible wildlife."
"She's a hazard!" Emily shot back. "And she's on my desk!"
Luke shrugged. "She probably likes you. Reptiles have a great sense of character."
Emily glared at him. "Get her off my desk. Now."
He sighed dramatically, handing his plate to a coworker. "Fine. I'll move her. But you could at least try to appreciate the culture."
"This isn't culture!" she snapped. "This is chaos!"
Back at her desk, Emily watched as Luke approached the lizard with all the nonchalance of someone retrieving a misplaced coffee cup. He gently scooped Tandi up, holding her like a prized pet.
"There, all better," he said, smiling at her.
Emily pointed to the sticky mess of lizard residue left on her keyboard. "This isn't better. This is disgusting."
Luke shrugged. "It's just a little reptile slime. Builds character."
She stared at him, her anger boiling over. "You're insufferable."
"And you're predictable," he replied, carrying Tandi back to the breakroom. "Maybe you should loosen up. Embrace the wild side."
"I'll show you wild," she muttered, grabbing a cleaning wipe and furiously scrubbing her keyboard.
Just as she started to calm down, a coworker approached, holding a plate of Tomato Bredie. "Hey, Emily, did you know Luke taught us how to say 'Hello' in Xhosa? It's so cool!"
"I don't care," she snapped, not looking up.
The coworker frowned. "Geez, what's your problem?"
"My problem?" she said, glaring at them. "My problem is that this office has turned into a zoo, and no one seems to think that's an issue."
Before they could respond, Luke reappeared, now holding a chameleon. "Look, everyone! It's Claude!"
Emily's eye twitched. "You've got to be kidding me."
"Claude is very shy," Luke said, ignoring her. "But he loves meeting new people."
Emily stood, her fists clenched. "That's it. I'm done."
Luke blinked at her, feigning confusion. "Done with what? The celebration? But we haven't even started the language trivia yet!"
"Done with you," she said through gritted teeth. "This entire day is just another excuse for you to create chaos."
He tilted his head, smirking. "And you're just mad because you don't know how to have fun."
She stepped closer, her voice low and dangerous. "You think this is fun? Wasting everyone's time, destroying my workspace, and parading reptiles around like it's a petting zoo?"
Luke held up Claude, the chameleon's eyes swiveling in opposite directions. "Claude thinks you need to chill."
Emily stared at him, her rage reaching its peak. "I'm going to kill you."
He grinned, unfazed. "Good luck catching me."
Emily lunged, but Luke darted away, laughing as he disappeared into the crowd. She stood there, seething, as coworkers resumed their mingling, their laughter and chatter filling the room.
"Unbelievable," she muttered, grabbing her phone.
Luke Edmunds: Instagram Story
She groaned, opening it.
The video showed her yelling at Luke, with the caption: "Breaking news: Emily Nkosi doesn't appreciate wildlife. #SouthAfricaDay "
Her blood boiled as she typed out a reply:
"You're unbearable."
His response came almost instantly:
"And you're predictable, Nkosi. "
She threw her phone onto her desk, glaring at the sticky residue that still lingered there.
The feud wasn't over—not by a long shot. But as Emily sat there, plotting her next move, she vowed that Luke—and his scaly friends—would regret underestimating her.
Because if they thought this was the end, they were sorely mistaken.