Chapter 13: Shockwaves

Present Day – September 17, 2016

Oliver stared at the diner menu items blankly, scarcely reading the names, much less descriptions, of countless omelets, pancake stacks, and biscuits. He picked up his mug and sipped at his coffee and then raised his eyes again to scan the room.

The navy-blue tile on the floor was covered with scuff marks and bright red booths dotted the open space, making each table feel like it was its own small haven amidst the bustle of Saturday morning brunch. He was glad that his waitress seemed responsive but not eager to hang around and chat. The bells on the door jingled and Oliver saw Thea step inside, speaking to the host.

"Thea!" Oliver called out eagerly, standing up and out of the booth to catch his sister's attention. Thea gave him a pleasant smile and walked around the row of tables towards him. He greeted his sister, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "How are you doing?" he asked, his voice turning to concern as he looked over her, trying to perceive signs of distress or sleeplessness in her bearing. The quick text check-in last night after Lyla had escorted Thea from his home hadn't been enough to settle his worry.

Thea slid into the booth before answering, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as Oliver resumed his seat. "I'm okay," she said. "I'm sorry I ditched on the rest of Felicity's dinner. I know she was really excited to have everyone over."

"Don't worry about that," Oliver assured quickly. Thea wasn't wrong – Felicity had been crushed that her eagerly-awaited dinner had gone up in flames with a few verbal grenades hefted by Donna Smoak. But that wasn't for Thea to concern herself with. "I'm sorry I didn't respond faster when Donna spoke to you that way," he apologized. "I'm thankful Lyla did. Did you have a nice time with Diggle and Lyla?" Oliver had always respected Lyla and enjoyed talking with her, but he wasn't aware that she was so protective of his sister. He honestly didn't know that Thea and Lyla were even that close.

Thea smiled a little. "Yeah. They took me and Sarah to get ice cream. Sarah is a little dessert monster! She kept reaching for whoever's ice cream was closest to her. I honestly think she had more than any of us – she's really hard to say no to, with those big brown eyes."

Oliver chuckled, glad to hear it. He was sure the distraction was something Thea had sorely needed after having her childhood abuse flippantly referred to in front of a roomful of people.

"You know, it's weird," Thea said, after placing her brunch order with their waitress. "I thought Donna and I were on good terms. Like, I thought we were maybe even friends? Or at least friendly." Thea took a sip from her coffee mug. "We spent so much time together when Felicity was in the hospital and then planning your wedding. I have no idea why she would say those things."

"First of all, no matter what the reason is, no one should ever say something like that to you. Ever," Oliver said firmly, wanting Thea to know that Donna's blunt insinuations had been completely inappropriate. Thea gave him a look of appreciation. Oliver sighed a long sigh. He gave Thea a look, unsure how she would react. "But I spoke with Donna this morning briefly. She … stayed over last night." Thea looked surprised and a little discomfited. Oliver hoped she wouldn't see it as a betrayal – because Oliver had kind of felt like it was.

Oliver continued. "The first thing is that she is sorry for what she said. She woke up with a lot of regret this morning, and regardless of why, she knows she crossed a line." Thea shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and Oliver was pretty sure that Donna feeling bad after the fact wasn't making Thea feel any better. "But I also know why she came at you last night." Thea's eyes flew to Oliver's, intrigued. Oliver winced as he said, "She … thinks you're having an affair with Lance."

Thea's eyes widened and it looked like she stopped breathing. Oliver decided to just press on. "She said that Lance was getting a lot of texts and late-night calls; he was leaving the house at odd hours for work, and telling her he was working late a lot of nights." Oliver paused, studying Thea, who appeared stunned. "And the night before the dinner party, she followed Lance when he said he was called in to work and … well, he showed up to your apartment."

Whatever color had remained in Thea's face had drained and her mouth dropped open slightly. Oliver was starting to become uncomfortable with her reaction. He and Felicity had been so ready to defend Thea, but … could she? "Felicity and I defended you, but – Thea? Did you? Are you and Lance -?" Oliver stumbled.

This shook Thea out of her stupor. "NO!" she said loudly. Oliver quickly looked around the room to see if her response had drawn unwanted attention. Thea noticed his look and lowered her voice, "No, Ollie! God! That's … I mean, he's in a relationship, but he's also like my dad! Ew, that's so gross!" Oliver immediately relaxed. This was the reaction he had been expecting – and hoping for. "But – shit! I really screwed up," Thea added, chagrined.

Oliver said in a low voice so it couldn't be heard easily from the surrounding tables, "I was wondering if your meetups were related to your … evening … activities."

Thea's eyes were wide and she said, "I just told you, I'm not sleeping with Quentin!"

Oliver coughed in dismay and corrected quickly, "Not those night activities." He looked around and noted that no one was seated nearby or else were engaged in conversation. "I mean your … crusade … savior … helping activities."

Thea looked relieved that she was no longer being accused of being romantically linked to Lance. She said earnestly, "Yes, but that means this is my fault!" The conversation paused as plates were set in front of Oliver and Thea, they declared everything looked great, and thanked their waitress as she walked away. As soon as she was gone, Thea looked back at Oliver. "Look, I thought I was handling things by leaving you and the team out of it. I had no idea that I was pulling Quentin into my mess with me!"

Oliver gave her a sympathetic look. Thea shook her head quickly. "Poor Donna … and Quentin! He would complain sometimes about needing to get home to Donna, but he always just wanted to help me. Whenever I reached out, he always answered. I never thought … I can't believe I screwed things up for them like that." Sparkling, unshed tears lit up Thea's eyes.

"Thea," Oliver said gently, trying to calm her down. "We can clear this up for them, okay?"

Thea gave Oliver a doubtful look. "How? Donna doesn't even know about what you and Felicity do in your 'free time'."

Oliver looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "You're not wrong. But there has to be some way to explain that you and Lance aren't connected romantically. Neither you or Lance did anything wrong – you just … need to find a way to explain that in a way that doesn't compromise your safety."

"You don't trust her with that information?

"Felicity doesn't, and I support Felicity," Oliver said.

Thea nodded and tucked her spoon into her oatmeal, taking a bite. Oliver studied Thea for a moment and then looked down at his own plate. Cutting into a sausage link, Oliver thought again about Lance and Thea being in Central City at the same time. He had to ask, but he was scared for the fallout of whatever Thea would tell him. The siblings ate in silence.

"Thea," Oliver said slowly, his heart beating faster as he prepared himself. "Donna said one other thing." Thea looked up from her meal, her brow creased. Oliver sighed. "Donna said that Lance was in Central City last weekend. With you." Thea froze and Oliver felt like they were just repeating their earlier conversation. Thea looked up at Oliver, her expression wary.

"I didn't sleep with him," Thea said again, her voice measured, like she wasn't entirely sure what she was being accused of now.

Oliver nodded slowly. "I know." He shifted in his seat and laid his fork down next to his plate. "And I was trying to think why you and Lance would go to Central City. Then I remembered – Tim Phillips is in Central City." Thea's mouth dropped open. "And whatever evidence Walter had the CCPD lock up."

Thea's mouth snapped up, her eyes suddenly intense. "How do you know that name?" she hissed.

Oliver said, "I swear, I wasn't digging, Thea." He wavered under the hard stare fixed on him. "When we had lunch with Raisa, she gave me his name. I promise, I didn't ask her." Thea shook her head like she didn't believe him. "I swear, I didn't ask, but I did take his name to find out where he was. You can ask Felicity. She caught me making a search and had it out with me. I promise, I haven't looked into him since." Oliver winced a little and said, "For full transparency, Diggle also saw the search and … kind of knows too."

The admission seemed like one too many for Thea and she dropped her spoon into her bowl with a clang and buried her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry, Thea," Oliver said quietly, feeling intensely guilty to see how he had hurt her.

"The thing is," Oliver said quietly, "That when I was … in that other place, with Tommy – that Thea was working with Lance in secret to build a case against Phillips. So, when I heard you went to Central City, I wondered if maybe you and Lance were doing something similar."

Thea slowly looked up, resting her mouth on her hands. Oliver noticed that her eyes looked a little out of focus, like her mind was turning something over. Her eyes slowly cleared. She said in a voice shaking slightly, "Thank you for telling me. I'm sure that wasn't easy." Oliver nodded warily in acknowledgement. "Ollie -" Thea began, then stopped. She looked like she was fighting with herself. Finally, Thea seemed to make a decision, and she looked at Oliver with clear eyes and determination. "I have been keeping something from you, but we can't talk here. Can I come by the Loft later? I need to clear things up with Donna and Quentin first."

Oliver nodded, his stomach twisting. "Of course, you're always welcome. Is it okay if Felicity is there?"

Thea gave him a small smile. "Yes, Felicity can stay - you would just tell her afterwards anyway."

Thea gave Felicity a sheepish smile as Felicity opened the door to the Loft. "Thea, oh my god!" Felicity said upon seeing her sister-in-law for the first time since the disastrous dinner party the night before. "I am so sorry for last night, my mom was so far out of line -" Felicity began to babble.

"Felicity," Thea said, cutting her off gently, feeling a warmth in her chest at her sister-in-law's care for her. "It's okay – your mom and I both had things to apologize for." Thea looked around and saw Ollie making his way over to the entrance to greet her. "I'm just sorry that your dinner didn't end like you'd hoped."

"You do not need to apologize for that," Felicity rejected quickly. "That one is all my mother's doing."

"Well, maybe she could have handled things better, but try not to be too hard on her," Thea advised mildly.

Felicity asked, "Are you feeling guilty for my mom calling out something really horrible about you in public? Because that's not okay, Thea. You can't take responsibility for my mom's terrible choices, no matter the reason."

"Well," Thea said noncommittally shrugging a little, repositioning the bag she held on her shoulder while skirting around Felicity's absolution. She looked between her brother and sister-in-law. "Can we sit?" she asked. Oliver nodded and gestured towards the seating area in the middle of the room, framed with streaming sunlight in the large, floor-to-ceiling windows of the two story, open space. Thea sat down on the armchair opposite the couch where Felicity settled in with Oliver next to her.

"The first thing," Thea started, "Is that Donna and I are okay." She looked between Oliver and Felicity, neither of whom looked like they fully believed her. "Donna and I both had things to apologize for." Felicity opened her mouth, looking ready to rebut again, but Thea stopped her by raising her hand, asking her to wait. "While I wasn't having an affair with Quentin, I was monopolizing his time. He even alluded to that fact over the last several months, but I think I was just so focused on what I wanted that I pretty well ignored what he needed." Thea felt a little nauseous still thinking how close she had come to permanently ruining Quentin and Donna's relationship. She had been trying so hard to do things on her own, to be independent by keeping Team Arrow out of it, but instead she had pulled Quentin down with her.

She cleared her throat and said, "I promised Quentin that I won't be making any more late-night phone calls. If I need something, I can call the station and get someone who is on-duty rather than pulling him in." Thea turned to Felicity and said, "I'm not sure how you feel as an adult forming a relationship with the man dating your mom, but, for what it's worth, you really couldn't have a better whatever-he-is than Quentin."

Felicity gave Thea a small smile and said, "Yeah, I think so too. I mean, sure, it all feels a little 'Brady Bunch' with Laurel and Sara becoming like step-sisters …" Thea laughed at the image.

Oliver grinned as well, saying, "Digg really set us all up when he started calling us 'family'."

Thea grinned and then said sincerely, "You know, before Ollie's return, Walter was pretty much the best thing in my life." Ollie gave her an encouraging smile, which Thea appreciated. Her former stepfather and brother were both so important to her and yet they had never been particularly close with each other. She was glad that Ollie was starting to see Walter in a different light. "I don't know if you remember this from when you lived with us, Ollie, but Walter would always knock before he entered anywhere." Oliver seemed to be thinking back and nodded. "Even if we were in a room without a door, he would knock on the wall and ask if he could come in." Oliver snorted, clearly remembering now. Thea smiled nostalgically. "I always thought it was some kind of proper British thing, but now I think he was just being respectful of my feelings with everything I had been through." Walter had been a faithful friend and support to her – even after he and Moira separated.

Felicity's voice broke through Thea's musing. "Just curious – how were you able to convince my mom that you and Quentin hadn't had an affair?" Felicity bit her lip nervously. "Did you … tell her about Arae?"

Thea shook her head. "No," she said honestly. "I thought that would open up too many questions which might lead to the Green Arrow – and your involvement." Felicity and Oliver both looked relieved that Donna wasn't aware that Thea was involved in the world of vigilantism.

"So, if my mom doesn't know about Arae, how did you convince her there was nothing going on with you and Quentin?" Felicity probed again.

Thea's heartbeat sped up, nervous about revealing the whole truth. Sure, she had done it earlier for Donna, but … Donna didn't care about her the same way Oliver and Felicity did. And Quentin, of course, had heard it all before. But not Oliver. Thea felt like she was sitting on a landmine and was considering standing up.

Thea pursed her lips nervously and looked out the window, seeking some sort of courage. She said slowly, not making eye contact, "Arae is only a small part of why Quentin and I were spending time together. So I told Donna everything else." Thea looked back at her brother and Felicity. Oliver watched her nervously, but Felicity just seemed interested. Thea shrugged, "I just felt like it was the only thing to do. I had to clear Quentin's name to give him and your mom a chance to work things out. He's just been really kind to me. He deserved it."

No avoiding it now. Thea felt like she was marching in front of the executioner's rifle, willingly giving up the last of her secrets. Of her dignity. But it had all gone too far and she couldn't keep this all inside any longer.

Thea took a deep breath. "And I've been keeping something from you too. Not just you, but … everyone." Thea leaned over to the large purse by her side and reached inside. Her fingers brushed the binding of the two books and with another breath for courage, she pulled them out. Thea gingerly laid the two colorful journals onto the coffee table in front of her.

Thea looked up to find that all of the color had drained from Oliver's face. That one look told Thea everything she needed to know. Oliver, somehow, knew what was in her journals. Felicity, on the other hand, looked wary, feeling the shift in the room, but was clearly holding out some kind of hope that everything would be okay.

Thea said in a low voice, "A lot of things have changed for me this past year and some of those changes – epiphanies, we might even say – have caused me to want to pursue justice." Felicity's face changed from wary to fearful and Oliver looked like he was making a conscious effort to keep breathing. "So, I went to Quentin to help me. Because Mr. Phillips … Tim … he didn't just sleep with me. He also sold my … services … to other men. Pedophiles." Thea felt like her throat would close and suffocate her as she forced the words out of her mouth. She looked towards the journals and said, "Every guy that he forced me to be with is in these journals."

Past – July 2, 2007 – 9 years ago

Twelve-year-old Thea peered down at the pink Motorola Razr Mr. Phillips had given her. He had told her it was a gift so they could be in touch even when they weren't together. She had been so excited when he first gave it to her. Her mother certainly had no intention of allowing Thea a cellphone at twelve even though all of her classmates had them. Not that that made such a difference anymore. She didn't have anyone to text or talk to with her phone now that she had one, except for Mr. Phillips. And Mr. Phillips had told her not to show anyone that she had this Razr anyway.

It had only taken a few weeks for the phone to lose its appeal and to go from feeling like a special gift borne out of affection to feeling like a leash. It didn't matter where she was, she would feel that vibration in her pocket and it would be him. Making plans to meet up. Asking her what she was doing and who she was with. Asking her what she was wearing.

And maybe a few months ago, that might have made her feel special and loved. It would have made her feel mature, like she was in a grown-up relationship. But that had changed too. As if it wasn't scary enough to have him want to do stuff with her all the time when they were alone, things had changed for the worse before school had let out for the summer.

Mr. Phillips told her to meet up with him after school at Mancino's, a local pizza shop in downtown Starling. Thea had met up with Mr. Phillips in public before, but it always felt dangerous: she was afraid that sooner or later, Mr. Edison, her driver would catch on, or she'd run into a classmate who would tell someone.

But Thea was already aware that she couldn't say no. Mr. Phillips had pulled her out of class a month before then and pulled her into a storage closet, ready to get frisky. Thea was panicked, because she was at school and she didn't want to. She had tried to pull away and asked him to stop, insisting she needed to get back to class.

It was like a switch had flipped. The kindly eyes that had so often listened to her patiently and empathetically turned fierce. Thea had turned to grab the door handle when she felt something strike her head, causing her to fall to the ground, hard. She blinked against flashes in her vision and felt a kick catch her hip as she lay on the ground. She yelped, and he growled at her to shut up, proceeding to land kick after kick into her stomach as she tried to curl herself tight to protect her body from the assault. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Thea was sure she would be killed.

As quickly as it had started, it ended. Thea lay, body throbbing with shooting pain. Through the fog covering her vision and the tinnitus in her ears, she heard Mr. Phillips' voice change back to sympathetic. "Get yourself together. I'll pick you up after school." It was then that Thea knew she couldn't say no. And it made her stomach hurt when after school that day, Mr. Phillips had been particularly gentle with her, whispering sweet complements in her ear.

And with Mr. Phillips waiting for her at Mancino's, she also knew she didn't have a choice. Thea's stomach had been twisting the entire drive there. As Mr. Edison dropped her off at the door, Thea walked in, nervously looking around for his familiar face. She saw him waiting inside the double doors, intercepting her before she fully entered the restaurant.

He was an attractive man in his thirties, and Thea knew every girl in school had a crush on him. They blushed and simpered when he complemented how they looked in their uniforms and giggled when he said they had pretty smiles. And now that smile was on her. "I have a surprise for you," he said, his voice easy and light.

The tone did nothing to soothe her nerves. The Rubicon had long been crossed and she was willing to go along with whatever he said, but she never was really into it, no matter how often Mr. Phillips told her she was. She asked hopefully, "We're getting pizza?"

"Nope," he said. "Follow me."

Thea followed him out the door and down two buildings to a motel. This wasn't altogether unfamiliar, but he clearly already had a room as they avoided the front desk. Mr. Phillips waved the card in front of a room door and with the card reader's beep of acceptance, he pushed open the door to reveal they were not alone.

A man, older than Mr. Phillips, sat on the bed of the windowless room. He smiled a smile far too wide when his eyes landed on Thea and she turned to look at Mr. Phillips, scared and looking for help. Mr. Phillips gave her a small push to enter the room and then closed the door tight behind them.

Thea's heart pounded in her chest. She felt faint, knowing something very bad was coming and desperately wishing she were at home. Mr. Phillips' voice broke through her thoughts. "This is a friend of mine. I was telling him about you and how good you are in bed, and he told me he didn't think someone so young could be. I figured the only way we could convince him was if you showed him."

It was like the world stopped and Thea felt weak enough that she could have just tipped over and died right there. Adrenaline raced through her body making her hands and feet tingle and shake, but left her frozen in place.

There was no escape. The door was closed. Mr. Phillips would catch her. He would kill her.

Thea couldn't breathe. She turned to look at Mr. Phillips, hoping her eyes would convince him to stop.

But they didn't. With a cheerful smile, he gripped her by the arm and dragged her further into the room.

Thea would love to say that had been the last time, but it wasn't. That little, pink Razr would go off, telling her where to be, when to go, and she would go. Thea felt like every part of her hurt all the time, both her body and her heart, but there was no way out. She could never tell her mother – she would be disgusted with her. After all … so was Thea. She couldn't hold her own gaze in the mirror. Sex ed wasn't even until next year, in seventh grade, and Thea had already seen a half dozen men. Her only saving grace was that, usually, Mr. Phillips let her drink a little before he took her to meet up with anyone, and occasionally gave her a pill that made everything float.

Thea was twelve-years-old and she had already seen too much. And she just wanted her dad to come through the door and carry her home.

Present Day – September 17, 2016

Thea blinked away the memories of the little girl who wrote in those journals as she stared at their covers, unable to meet Ollie and Felicity's eyes. She said quietly, her voice shaking, "I have been so … ashamed. For so long. But, I'm not now." She stopped and then admitted, "Well, that's not entirely true, but now I understand that every one of those men knew exactly what they were doing. And if they were willing to pay to sleep with a child, you were right, Ollie, there is no way they stopped hurting other kids."

She looked up and met her brother's eyes and nearly stopped breathing at the expression on his face. Oliver looked … devastated. She had seen him look this way only once before. When he lay, tied up on the ground while Slade Wilson held his sword to Thea's throat after having stabbed their mother to death. It was the same clouded eyes, reddened cheeks, and sense that he couldn't manage to pull in enough air to sustain him. He looked powerless. Dazed.

"Ollie," Thea murmured, tears springing to her eyes and her heart breaking at the desolation on her brother's face. God, she hadn't wanted to hurt him. She had known it would. Even though she knew in her heart that the time had come to disclose this secret, she still intensely regretted that she had had to. She whispered softly, unable to make her voice come out with anymore force, "I'm okay, Ollie. Please. I'm fine, okay?" She pled for her brother to not worry for her.

Felicity leaned over with tears in her own eyes and drew Oliver's arm onto her lap, rubbing his hand. "Oliver," Felicity said gently. That was all it took. Some long-held damn in Oliver burst and he let out a sob.

Thea's eyes flew wide. Had she … ever seen her brother cry?

Oliver pulled his hand back from Felicity and covered his face with both hands. His shoulders shook, but he didn't make another sound. Felicity leaned over and wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back while his body trembled with tears.

Thea stood up numbly. This had gone far worse than she had even imagined. She walked shakily over to the windows to look at the sun preparing to set over Star City. She blinked back tears of her own as she listened to Felicity trying to soothe her brother.

The sounds behind her began to die down, but Thea couldn't pull herself away from the view. Her heart was heavy and she didn't think she could face them again right now. She was so stupid. She could have kept it a secret. She was sick, she could have just died with this secret, or found some other way …

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't hear footsteps behind her. The first thing she became aware of was a hand on her shoulder. She froze as the hand gently turned her and she recognized it as belonging to Oliver at the same moment that she was pulled into a hug.

Thea said weakly, her voice heavy with sadness, "Ollie, I'm so sorry."

Not loosening his hold on her a bit, Oliver mumbled into her hair, "You have nothing to be sorry for. Do you hear me? Not one, single thing."