A/N: Time jump to the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (so, two weeks).

A/N: I am not sure I like this chapter or the next one (possibly the next two or three). This part of the story was only supposed to take one chapter. It became unwieldy and had to be split up. Hopefully it doesn't ring false.

Also, yes, Brittany's papers got done rather quickly but the outline and research were most of the work done already – she just had to "fill in the gaps". Having written papers in exactly this manner, I can attest that it can be done and a B or above grade can be received.

Trigger Warning: Homophobic slurs

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Chapter 15

Brittany woke with a start; Santana's arm was around her waist and it tightened reflexively in her sleep. Brittany took a few deep breaths and then looked over at Santana. The girl was sound asleep. She looked at the clock; 5 am. She closed her eyes but knew it was useless; she was done sleeping for now.

She carefully disentangled herself from Santana and slid out of the bed, moving to her desk. As long as she was awake, she might as well get some work done.

She pulled up the outline for one of her papers, opened her word processing program and the internet browser, for referencing, and started typing.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Brittany stretched, looking at the time on the computer; 9:22 am. Not bad. A little over four hours and one of her papers was done and e-mailed to her professor. She stood up and stretched a little further, feeling her vertebrae click back into place.

She needed to dance. The realization that she hadn't danced in almost two months hit her hard. She nodded; she needed to dance, needed to move. Not right now, though, she thought as she yawned. Now was the time for cuddling Santana and getting a few hours of sleep.

She went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, splashed some water on her face, and went back into the bedroom, slipping under the covers and wrapping her arm around Santana's waist.

Santana scooted back into her and placed an arm over the one around her waist.

"How long were you up?" Santana asked quietly.

"About four and a half hours."

"Oh, baby …"

"No, it's okay. I got one of my papers finished and now I get to cuddle with you and get a little nap in. Then we can get up and go get something to eat before I tackle my second paper."

"Mmmm … sounds good to me."

"Me too."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

When next they woke, it was just after one in the afternoon. Brittany, for the first time in she couldn't remember how long, actually felt rested. Maybe after they ate, they could … no, she needed to do her second paper. Maybe if she got that done, she could take tomorrow off and she and Santana could push the furniture against the walls and dance in the living room. She nodded to herself; that seemed like a doable plan.

Santana rolled over in her arms and smiled.

"Morning."

"Afternoon, actually, but I won't quibble." She leaned down and kissed Santana softly.

Santana tilted her head slightly to deepen the kiss and swiped her tongue against Brittany's lower lip. Brittany gave her access immediately and their tongues began to dance and duel. Brittany slipped her hand under Santana's shirt and gently skated her fingers along Santana's side while Santana lightly scratched at Brittany's lower back. Brittany pulled Santana closer; Santana whimpered and Brittany felt her arousal pooling between her legs. She moaned softly into Santana's mouth and reluctantly pulled away causing Santana to whine.

"Baby, if we don't stop, I may not be able to."

Santana looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry …"

"Hey, no, there's nothing to be sorry for. When you're ready, it'll happen. Until then, I will kiss you until we're both senseless and breathless." She smiled and pecked Santana's lips gently. "Now, come on. Get up and get dressed, I'm hungry." She grinned.

Santana shook her head, her smile still a little sad, and got out of bed. She gathered her clothes and went into the bathroom.

Brittany let out a sigh. She hated that Santana was sad. She didn't want to give up their make-out sessions but she didn't want Santana to feel badly when they had to end before things went too far. She quickly got dressed and, once Santana was done in the bathroom, she went in and freshened up.

They walked down to the Golden Griffin for "linner" because it was definitely too late to call it brunch.

Brittany noticed that Santana didn't really eat; she kind of pushed her food around on the plate.

They were about halfway through when Santana set down her fork and looked at Brittany.

"Can we talk?"

"Of course," Brittany set down her fork and gave Santana her full attention.

"This morning … I …" Santana took a deep breath, "I'm scared."

"Of what, honey?"

Santana swallowed hard. "It's stupid because it's not real but … I'm waiting for the punchline."

Brittany frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I told you I knew early on that I liked girls. That Quinn was my only friend because I kept everyone at arms' length."

Brittany nodded.

"It was easier that way; nobody close, nobody could stumble on my secret." She sighed. "Until Quinn thought we should become cheerleaders. I wasn't interested, really, I just wanted to be invisible, and stay under the radar; but she convinced me that, if we were cheerleaders, we'd be untouchable. No one would dare slushy us or harass us. I'd be … more or less … bullet-proof." She winced at her choice of phrase. "Sorry, I …"

Brittany just waved it off and encouraged her to continue. She hadn't heard much of Santana's past; nothing really, if she thought about it.

"We tried out and got accepted as freshmen; which was unheard of from our coach. Quinn had been right, nobody bothered us freshman or sophomore year. I had adopted an air of aloofness; that I wasn't interested in dating any of the football players, they just weren't 'good enough'. I was focused on my schoolwork and getting the hell out of Lima. I didn't have time for distractions like a boyfriend.

"For two and a half years, that worked. Then everything changed; Quinn became head cheerleader at the end of our sophomore year and I was her second-in-command. It was almost a given that we would date football players. Quinn was dating the quarterback but I still maintained my 'air of unavailability'.

"Then, in March, a guy transferred from another school. Jacob. He was tall and good-looking, I mean, objectively speaking. He was smart. He was on the football, basketball, and baseball teams. He was 'the whole package'." Santana sighed and took a sip of water.

"He set his sights on me. I don't know why. I sneered at him the way I did everyone else but he just kept persisting." She shook her head.

"I don't know if it was the challenge or what. I even heard a couple of his friends tell him to leave me alone; I had a reputation as a bitch because I had no problem telling people off when they crossed me. I also had no problem kicking a guy in the nads if he couldn't take a hint.

"The entire school knew 'don't fuck with Lopez, she does not play around'. But Jacob, I don't know. He just wouldn't leave me alone. Finally, one day, I'd had enough of ignoring him and telling him no. I told him, for about the tenth time, that I wasn't interested in him. I told him to just leave me the fuck alone and I walked away from him, head held high.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Santana had gotten about halfway down the hall when she heard Jacob call out.

"What are you, some kind of dyke? That's it, isn't it? You're a dyke that's why you won't date me."

Santana snapped. All she'd wanted was to be left alone. All she wanted was to make it to July 23, 2013; her eighteenth birthday when she'd gain control of her trust fund and could get the hell out of Lima for good. Then it wouldn't matter if her parents or Abuela found out she was gay. She'd be free.

She turned around and stormed back to Jacob and slapped the smug smirk off his face. She could see the dark red handprint on his face. She was beyond angry.

"Listen up and listen good, asshole. I wouldn't date you if you were the last guy on the planet because 1) you're arrogant, 2) you're boring, and 3) using Axe body spray doesn't mean you don't have to shower. I know all about your car and your money and blah, blah, blah. Mr. Abbott's World History class is more interesting than you are. Other than my name and the fact that I'm a cheerleader you know nothing about me because you can't be bothered to talk about anything but yourself. So, no, not wanting to date you doesn't make me gay; it means I have standards and you fall so far beneath them that you can't even see the soles of my shoes. And that's all before even mentioning that you smell like something that got buried in the cat's litter box." With that, Santana turned on her heel and stormed off again.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Santana stopped and stared out the window for a moment. She sighed and looked back at Brittany with the saddest eyes Brittany had ever seen.

"From there … everything went to hell. The rumor, of course, went around the school. But the fact that I'd humiliated him? That got around too. I wish, now, that I'd just kept ignoring him. If I had paid a little closer attention … maybe I'd have realized just what a narcissist he was and I'd have … I don't know." Santana wiped angrily at a tear. "The damage was done—all my efforts to stay aloof and unaffected. You know … it's exhausting keeping that armor on all the time. Every day, I went home from school and I showered and took a nap before I did my homework because I was just too tired from being "not me" all day.

"I started getting notes in my locker; the standard 'you just need the right guy', 'wanna have a threesome with my girlfriend and me', and calling me all sorts of names. I reset myself every morning to go into battle. Head high, back straight, resting bitch face in place. There were smirks and stares and leers; comments behind my back. I ignored it all. I was above it all. And then there was Kayla. Kayla started flirting with me, touching my arm, smiling at me; flirting. I ignored her. She was pretty enough but I had never liked her; there was something … I still don't know what … just something that set off the warning bells in my gut. I gave her the same look I gave everyone. I refused to engage with anyone. It got harder. But I wasn't going to confirm or deny the rumors. I just … refused to acknowledge them."

She paused again to take a drink. "Um … maybe we can go back to your place? I don't want to finish this in public." She looked at Brittany and Brittany nodded.

"Of course," Brittany called over the waitress to get the check, Santana left the tip while Brittany went up to the register to pay.

Brittany grabbed Santana's hand as they left the diner and pulled Santana around to face her.

"I love you. Nothing changes that."

Santana smiled and nodded, as if she wanted to believe her but … couldn't quite get there.

"I love you, too."