Sunday 4th September
For the past few days, I've been really worried about going back to school for multiple reasons. One: I have to stick with weekends for breaks for the next couple of weeks. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like I don't get as much pleasure being off on a weekend as I do during a mid-term break, Christmas, Easter, or summer; I just don't have the time to do everything I want. Two: now that Iggy's gone, I'm worried that it'll affect my behaviour and I'll end up getting into trouble because I haven't done much work. Three: some of my friends might've changed over the six weeks and negatively turn on me for no reason at all and I'll end up alone and four: I have to keep acting like myself otherwise my friends will abandon me because when I'm feeling sad or in a bad mood, I don't really listen to people and I just stare into space.
Who knows, maybe I'll overdo it, then the teachers might notice and they'll try and force my sadness out of me. I have to keep acting as if everything's okay, but it's hard to do that when it's not. At least, I'll have to try, otherwise I'd lose friends. I really wouldn't want that. There are two boys I mentioned in a previous date and alongside Ludwig, they're my closest friends. They are Jesse Nightingale and Jordan Redflame. We met at the start of High School and since then, we've been very close. I'll be pleasured to see them again when I go back, but secretly, I'm a bit more excited to see Caitlin, the girl I met at my favourite place.
Tomorrow, I'm going to make sure I look good, but at the same time, I won't go around school as if I own the place, because from what I've seen online, just be yourself around girls. That's the problem because every time I've talked to a girl in the past (apart from Louisa and my sister), I've either been told to go away or I got kicked in the privates. I don't think there's gonna be any problems talking to Caitlin because when I was sitting alone by the river, she was the one who 'made the move', and I think she'll be more than happy for me to show her around the school.
I didn't really like the fact that today kind of dragged out and it went really slowly. I gradually noticed that Lemmy didn't really mind about going back to school because he'd told me a few times that he didn't have many friends. I kind of wished that Lemmy was going into Year 7 tomorrow in order to make him happier. When the time comes, I'm sure he'll make lots of new friends. On my first day of High School, I thought I was gonna be the last person to make friends with someone and I was really worried that Ludwig was just gonna abandon me for other kids, but something completely different happened.
On the first day, a mean girl, Darcy, purposely stepped on one of Jesse's untied shoelaces and he fell down an outside flight of stairs. I was behind him, I saw what happened and asked him if he was okay. Jesse said that he'd landed on his ankle funny and he also said it hurt when he walked on it, so Jesse ended up leaning on my shoulder as we went to the medical room. My science teacher, Miss Stoneheart (who just so happens to have a daughter named Darcy) ended up yelling at me for being ten minutes late for class, but if she had taken a second to realise how much of a twat her daughter is, then she would've known why.
The one thing I'm grateful to Darcy for is stepping on Jesse's shoelaces, otherwise we wouldn't be friends, but apart from that, I hate her guts. Definitely not looking forward to seeing her again. In fact, Darcy is so obnoxious that I just want her to one day disappear out of thin air, then none of us would see her ever again, but unfortunately, that's not scientifically possible. Some might say it's easy ignoring a mean kid at school, but Darcy is much worse than mean. What really annoys me is that she thinks she can get away with absolutely everything just because she's the daughter of a member of staff and she uses her 'position' to control everybody's emotions and actions, but no way is she going to control me.
Someday, I'm gonna tell her a great truth, which I'll probably get a smack in the face for, but it'll be worth it. She thinks she's so great because her mom works in the same school as her, but no she's freaking not. She's just like the rest of us here, except that she's much, much nastier. I just hope that Darcy believes me and she'll turn into a girl with a personality we never knew existed.
Hopefully, I won't have any injuries within the first couple days because I'll never forget the time when we were playing football in PE once. I tried to slide tackle a boy called Tiger, and he ended up kicking me in the ankle twice when I had tried to do it again. I went straight to the clinic after school and the doctor said my foot was swollen. Thanks, Tiger, I really needed that. This happened nearer to the end of the summer term and I got my own back on Tiger, because on the last day of year 7, me and Ludwig annoyed him by singing a really irritating song about tigers to him across the road and we were laughing about it the whole way home.
I'm kind of hoping that Tiger's not gonna get his own back on me, but why am I worrying? All I have to do is avoid him. I can only hope that I won't have repeats of last year, therefore I won't embarrass myself as much. There might be some ups and downs during the next few weeks, but they might not be as bad. I went to bed with my heart beating fast, but I calmed down after a while. Who knows what this school year will bring? I guess I'll just have to wait and see…