Chapter 38: Day 20 Part 5 — What Good Can Come
"The person I'm closest to is my grandmother," she smiled. "She's been next to me ever since she died when I was a little girl." She then turned and waved at nothing.
"Wait? You're claiming to be haunted by a ghost?!" Maple shouted. "Ghosts only exist as evil spirits!"
"Take that back," Sugar Petal stood up. "Take that back, right now!" She puffed her cheeks and stomped her foot.
Michael started to laugh, "Ghosts aren't real."
Hassim hesitantly raised his hand, "Michael. I don't believe in them either, but creepy shit is creepy shit and it's making me question many things."
Suddenly a bunch of the red crews all raised their arms. Even some of the medics.
"All you guys too? Seen this ghost?" Conner asked.
Michael and the rest of the contestants turned to look. There were at least 20 hands in the air.
They nodded, but one fell to his knees. "If I knew my summer internship would be on a real-life horror movie, I wouldn't have signed up…" he whined as he started to sob.
Another tech got down and rubbed the man's back.
Sugar Petal raised her hand defiantly. "You take that back! Oe-hemie is nice! Don't say bad things when you only met her once!"
Becky stood, "Oh so this Hemie bitch is the one you tried to shank me over, you fucking whore?"
Michael immediately jumped up. "And you attacked her while praying then almost killed her when you threw her off a cliff onto the sea rocks! That spot is underwater during high tide! Those couple centimeters of sand are probably the only reason she didn't die that night!"
Becky pointed at Sugar Petal. "Then you confirm for everyone she tried to stab me?!"
Michael also pointed at her. "Look between the two of you! You're over a foot higher and three times as heavy! I hate to think what you would have done to Hassim if he was that small!"
Angelica began to reee and stand up.
"And THAT was the last question," Conner said, popping it up in between the groups, smiling and holding his arms wide with the announcement. He looked at a group of staff sitting around an equipment case with a bunch of clipboards without dropping his arms. "You got the tally ready?"
One of the men held up a sheet and nodded.
"Ok! Bring it over so we can all sit and read the results!"
The man ran over and handed it to Conner.
Conner looked over his shoulder. "Ok everyone sitting?"
Becky and Michael nodded.
Conner looked at Angelica.
She huffed and turned her nose up.
Conner finally dropped his arms and unfolded the piece of paper. "And tied for the contestant with the most right answers about them are…" he paused. "Bob! Daisuke! And Sugar Petal! With 7 out of 9 guessing right." He looked at Sugar Petal, "Seems your grandmother has made quite the impression with everyone."
Sugar Petal stood and bowed, "Thank you." She sat back down.
"And the final contestant not going to the party tonight, with 6 out of 9 is Ichiro! The four of you stand up!"
"The four of you have proven open books to everyone you've met in such a short time. Unfortunately, that was not a good thing for this contest, and we will see how that will work out long term. Please stay standing for the moment."
"And now, the guests. Maple! You got 10 out of 11 correct. The only one you missed was the ghost story. Seems you were able to learn everything about everyone very quickly. Very impressive."
Maple looked frightened and slumped over in shame.
"Don't look so disappointed. In fact, you'll be the guests of honor tonight for getting so many right." Connor looked at the others. "Everyone else could learn from her example. Now, Angelica. Your answers were also spectacular and you will be sharing tonight's spotlight with Maple."
She sat up straighter and smugly looked at the others.
"Then, the next highest is 6 out of 10 and the remaining people going to the party were all tied at 5. In fact, we're sending an extra person to the party because of the ties. Craig, you're the 6 out of 10. The rest of you are: Meiko, Brook, Luke, and Shohei. Now Denise, Lesley. Please stand."
They stood.
"Now, everyone who is standing, please make your way back to the boats since you will not be attending the party later."
Everyone obeyed Conner and they began leaving the set and walking towards the boats they came in.
Conner waited until they left. "Now everyone, I need you to clap and cheer when I address each of your groups, got it?"
Everyone nodded or answered affirmatively.
Conner looked back at the water, then dramatically turned, raising his arms. "Now everyone!" he shouted. He turned to the guests. "Tonight's party… Is going to be held on a giant yacht!"
The guests cheered.
He turned to the contestants, "And the boat will hopefully look familiar to you all, because it's the same boat you partied on the first day!"
They cheered.
On cue, more boats landed in the center of the beach.
"Now everyone! Head to the resort for showers and fresh clothes so you can party all night."
The sun was starting to dip when everyone's boats pulled into the dock at the resort. While the security was guiding everyone to their rooms to clean up, one came up to Conner.
"Reynolds is in conference with the king right now. Please follow me."
"Conner, good to see you. Now we can seriously get started," King Furry said on the television.
He was surprised to see a few other faces. "And our friends?" he asked, sitting down.
"This is Mr. Suprapto, regency council spokesperson and I am Syamsul, English specialist from the tourism office. We are here to negotiate a festival to honor Prince Vegeta's slaying of the monster that has been plaguing our waters for the past few years. Originally it was denied by Mr. Reynolds, but we were told that now circumstances have changed."
"Yes, we are receptive to hearing your ideas," Reynolds said.
"The monthly market starts tomorrow. We would like to hold the festival the day after while everyone is still in town."
"How long is the market?" Reynolds asked.
"Four days, morning to sunset, with the day after for cleanup. The imams have already agreed to permit the celebration to run into Friday if needed."
"We need a few days to fix some more recent damage," Renolds said. "What do you say of allowing our contestants to enjoy the market then hold the festival? Do you have hotel rooms available?"
"Yes, we still have the rooms we reserved the first time we spoke," Syamsul answered himself. He then translated and Suprapto nodded.
"We will need to give them money to spend," Conner said. "And Vegeta will bitch about the meat in the smoker."
"We could preserve the meat for him in the kitchen," Renolds said, "The most important thing is to get him out of the way for a few days."
Conner looked surprised.
Reynolds pointed at the table and tapped it loudly. "We. Need. Him. Out. And. Distracted." He folded his hands. "If it means giving in the man's unreasonable demands, so be it."
Syamsul paused his translating. "You don't get along with the prince?" he said in an unfriendly tone, turning to the screen.
"He's been a… difficult contestant," Reynolds said carefully.
"I honestly like the guy, but yes he's very difficult sometimes," Conner said.
Reynolds looked at him, surprised at the backup.
"Reynolds isn't exactly known for flexibility or patience, however."
Reynolds glared at him, then turned back to the TV. "We still need something to fill the days other than shopping. How does a scavenger hunt sound? Does the town have anything prominent, like a statue, fountain, unusually tall building that can be seen from a distance?"
Syamsul translated and the two men talked back and forth.
"We can work with local business owners for this." Syamsul answered. "We assume this will be at a later day once the group becomes familiar with the town?"
Reynolds nodded, "Yes. This will take time to plan. Most likely the second to last day or directly before the party."
Reynolds looked back at Conner. "So," he said sarcastically, "what loophole do you want to put in that you think Vegeta would be the only one to notice and give him even more of an unfair advantage this time?"
Conner smiled at his sarcasm, "I got a few ideas…"
It was 8 o'clock when everyone loaded onto the yacht and they set sail.
After they came to a stop, black-tie waiter staff immediately brought out multiple carts.
"Woo," Becky clapped. "Full liquor bar." She immediately went over before the carts even stopped.
Angelica quickly followed.
The group quickly paired off. Jerry, Brook and Jessica; Luke and Sam; Meiko and Shohei.
Despite the shower and fresh clothes, Sam was still only given the bamboo brace and crutches Vegeta had made. He had been sitting on the bamboo stool until the signal that filming had begun and Luke immediately helped him to the nearest table, then stashed the stool in a corner of the deck.
Michael surprised them by coming over.
"Can I sit?"
Luke looked to Sam.
"Yeah, sure," Sam said.
"Looks like you're doing well," Michael said. "At least as to be expected." He pointed and rotated his finger, "Vegeta do all of this?"
"Yes." Sam said firmly. "Michael, I know you like being in charge and absolutely hate being talked back to. That's become very clear to me the past few days, but Vegeta doesn't deserve your hate."
"I don't hate the man. I'm petty… and I'll admit that on camera. But fucking with people to make their game harder has absolutely nothing to do with the psychotic, unhinged violence that Becky, and now Ichiro are doing. Sugar Petal and you were almost murdered. And I don't want you to group me in with them in your head. I want us to be cool going forward."
"I'd say what you've been doing is more than petty," Luke interjected. "You took fire in your cooking pot into the woods to light their crap on fire. You could have killed people."
"Do you really think I'd be unhinged enough to light their sleeping shelter on fire?" Michael chuckled at Luke in disbelief. Then his face fell. "Wait," he looked at Sam. "Is that what you told him? Did you really think we were going to do that?"
"Even if it wasn't, you brought Becky. And when we found the bamboo bridge, you said it was fake and we needed to find a place with lots of ATV ruts going up the hill. Tracks that would have led right to camp."
"Becky almost killed someone, by your admission," Luke interjected again. "Sam also said she set fire to the forest. That clearing on top of the cliff? Is not a clearing."
Michael put his hands up. "Ok. Ok. I am a man who overestimated his natural charisma vs. someone who's probably a diagnosed psychopath. And the fact that no one ever thinks they will meet a true psychopath is not going to help everyone's armchair 20/20. I was blind."
"You're going to turn tonight into an apology tour?" Luke looked surprised.
"I am."
"And what do you want out of this PR blitz?" Sam demanded. "Remember I'm a lobbyist."
"When merger comes, I want Becky out before me. That's all I can dare to ask for."
"I'll pass it on to Vegeta," Sam said. "The two of you are first on his list."
"That's completely understandable." Michael paused. "Can I ask a question?"
"If it's about Vegeta's secret identity? Don't. You don't want to know." Luke picked up the glass of water from the top and swirled it, "Just knowing makes me tempted to break my vow of sobriety." He tipped it back like a shot.
Michael looked at Sam. "Got gang or yakuza tats hidden under that shirt?"
"I don't think so."
"Ok, I'm going to go talk to everyone else. Once the food comes, is it alright if I sit here?"
"We'll see if there's any room left," Luke said.
"Fair," Michael said standing. He walked away.
Luke looked over at Sam surprised. "You stood up for yourself for once. Got a little backbone growing now," Luke poked Sam in his ribs.
"More like done with everything… especially him."
"He's definitely a wolf in sheep's clothing," Luke said as a waiter refilled his water. "Do you believe him?"
"I think he's trying to save his butt," Sam sighed, "now with everything we know about Isaac. I wonder where he is? The dog was alone today."
Luke suddenly leaned on the table and put his face in his hands. "Oh God… please don't be downstairs…"
Michael looked around the boat deck.
Hassim was sulking by himself at a table. Michael saw Craig try to sit with Hassim, but after a few words, Craig stood and patted him on the back before leaving. He then went to Shohei and Meiko.
Luke stood and went over to Jessica. He pulled her away to talk privately. Jerry shrugged, then Brook pointed. They walked over to Shohei, Meiko and Craig.
Maple was sitting by herself on a chair next to the railing with her two guards ever present.
Then he spotted Jamal. And to his surprise, Jamal was drinking — a lot. Almost as much as the mother and daughter duo combined.
Michael walked over.
"Hey there."
Jamal turned around surprised. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"
"Honestly worried that you're drinking like a fish. That's not normal for you."
"Yeah, I'm surprised no one else is." Jamal glanced at Becky and Angelica, "Well, except the baked potatoes."
Michael smiled, "Yeah… that name is definitely going to stick with them." Micheal put his hand around him and gestured to the railing, "Want to talk somewhere more private?"
"Sure… whatever…"
They went over to the railing and looked out over the water.
"So… what's wrong?"
Jamal sighed… "Everything."
"Getting voted out?"
"No, Bob wants us to all go after Vegeta once merge happens. Daisuke promised to, but I think he's shaky."
"Oh? I've been thinking Becky and I were everyone's top priorities with how close your team was with Vegeta's?"
Jamal sighed and closed his eyes, "Not anymore. Not after the king's visit."
"Oh, what happened?"
"He said we're going to be followed the rest of our lives if we behave with the possibility of being killed if we misbehave."
Michael remembered the strange thought that had entered his head. He chuckled, "All that over some random Hispanic pool boy?"
Jamal looked at him like he was crazy, "Do you seriously don't know anything about him?"
"Nope. Ichiro was forced to sign an NDA. I told him to tell a lie to get the point across, but I know the Briefs and dated Bulma for almost a year. Nothing he said could be true."
Jamal paused. "Like him being a genocidal war criminal?" He hit back the shot in his hand in one go.
Michael looked at him surprised. "How do you know that?"
"Because it's true. The king confirmed it. Seems the apple rolled off a cliff with Bulma and her father has been using his power to cover everything up. Apparently, Dr. Brief has enough power to bring down the government and plunge the planet into chaos. Had King Arthur printing pardons off like zeni bills. The new king hasn't been doing that, probably why they don't get along anymore."
Michael laughed. "I slept with Bulma Brief. I think I have a pretty good idea what she's capable of. Even if I was just another rebound and she went right back to Yamcha, I honestly thought I could break the cycle. That's on me. Maybe I should have gotten her pregnant."
"But you tried right? You sound like a drugger."
"And where did you get that idea? I would never. Did Isaac get to you?"
"Nope. Cassey intervened when a staff member went after Sugar Petal. Heard what you'd been doing right from the horse's mouth as blackmail to get the girl to submit."
Michael looked out over the water as he scrambled for something to say.
Jamal smiled. "Don't worry. We don't care. At least not anymore. Vegeta is much more important." He leaned in close. "But are you still close to the Briefs? I'm sure a man of your means could end his life quite easily with poison."
Michael looked at him shocked. "You're asking me to kill a man?"
"Why wouldn't I? Anyone I could turn to couldn't do it. Dumb ass's bulletproof. No. The one percent are the only ones who can deal with the one percent. I'm sure King Furry would appreciate it too."
Michael watched with his jaw on the floor as Jamal went back over to the bar. When the bartender went to refill his shot, Jamal ripped the whole bottle from his hands and walked off.
Michael looked down briefly before turning back to look over the water. He began counting on his finger.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
He looked at Hassim.
"Hey…" Michael sat down at Hassim's table, where he was supporting his head with his hands on his forehead as he stared at the tablecloth.
He looked up over his fingers. "Get lost you bastard…"
"In a moment," Michael pointed at Jamal.
Hassim looked over and saw Jamal tilt his head back guzzling the bottle of whisky.
He looked shocked and sat straight and lowered his arms.
"Jamal just ranted about Vegeta, and umm his 'special' past confirmed by the king."
"Bloody hell…" Hassim hung his head in his hands again.
"Are… you really comfortable being on his team? I'm not asking you back. I'm just seriously surprised a man as moral as you is there."
"I originally stayed to help care for Sugar Petal, but I did try to join Samundra. I practically got assaulted the moment I stepped on the beach."
"I see. Jamal told me the three of them are all planning on going after Vegeta after merger. He also asked me about poisons accusing me of using date rape drugs on women." Michael played up being offended. "I'm rich and handsome. Women have been throwing themselves at me since my teenage growth spurt. I'm the complete package."
Hassim glared at him. "Yeah…." he said unconvinced. "So why the warning? That makes things 6-6…" He leaned forward, "Or are you trying to make me the seventh?"
"Becky and Ichiro are pairing up. They are threatening me constantly, reminding me they tortured and almost killed Sam. But like you, I'm stuck." He looked over at Sam. "I spoke with Sam before I spoke with Jamal, and negotiated for Becky to go before me. But that was before I found out Samundra's plans and that there are three psychos now."
"You want protection."
"I want to know what you're thinking. But if you want to side with Vegeta, I'll vote for Becky. But if you can't stand him anymore, we can talk and strategize. Sam can't physically participate and Jessica has eye problems. They are also both traitors to their old teams and are on the revenge short list after Vegeta. With a confirmed five block into merger, we all have issues even if violence wasn't allowed. We got three people willing to do anything and now breaking bones is a legitimate strategy."
"And who's fault is that?"
"Hassim, Jason has been deeply involved with torturing Sam. Duck tapping him, forcing him to piss and crap himself. Stripping him naked and keeping a camera inches from his junk dawn to dusk and posting cameras on the beach at night so no one can go over to him. He also tased him so much he broke the trigger on the handle. Almost two dozen times in a row. Well over fatal territory. I honestly thought Sam died overnight. I didn't notice this until with Sam, but Jason and Becky are always talking by themselves, then soon after she goes psycho. Becky is a plant. Violence allowed for the first time in 300 years? Hassim this whole damn thing is a set up. They put a whole bunch of type A control freaks on one team and put a devil with them. Makes me wonder about Vegeta though."
Hassim shook his head, "Vegeta is not a plant. I can guarantee the show had no clue who he actually is. Probably the same reason you didn't believe a thing Ichiro said until now. The Briefs' sparkling reputation. The entire planet thinks he's a random landscape worker or something Bulma fucked on a whim whose condom broke. Bobby was fired over him and the new producers are deeply divided. Conner and Reynolds are constantly screaming at each other over what to do. I hear it over the radios all the time and Vegeta is off with a phone for a video conference at least once a day."
"Well, now that his hero persona has crumbled, things are probably not going to end well for the people who fell for it, even if I'm not here to see it."
Hassim sighed. "That's… That's the thing. It's not a persona. That son of a bitch actually gives a damn. That's the worst part. If it was all fake, that would be easier to deal with… but all his care and concern are genuine."
"I see… Hassim, when the king and Ichiro got in an argument about the same thing. The king mentioned the story of the alcoholic and his twin sons but never elaborated. Do you know what it means?"
Hassim shook his head. "No. But you probably might want to corner Luke. Sounds like some redemption bullshit."
Michael nodded. "Thanks… and thanks for actually talking to me. After everything." He stood up. "Try and forget about your marriage for tonight, and I don't mean by drinking. I know you don't. Just talk to people, ok?"
Hassim sighed, "I'll think about it…"
Michael stood, patted him on the back, and walked off to grab a drink of his own.
Meanwhile, Luke walked up to Jessica and took her aside.
"You called your old boss? Wait, did you leave your position working for the Alliance? That was your dream."
"Sometimes you think you want something, but when you get it, it's not what you thought it was. I was using my accounting degree more than my seminary. I did not want to sit in a small cubicle sitting next to thousands of others the rest of my life. I haven't left the church, just reassessing where I can best serve my calling within it."
"So, what happened when you called?"
"He said you being involved with the gathering of the information immediately invalidates it. I doubt even Dr. Briefs' actions today would do any good because he got it from you before, and with their two singers here, they were always going to be heavy handed on what goes on TV. And even with the king's help, I wasn't able to get him to confess while being recorded."
"I doubt going to King Furry would have helped. His law career was derailed by the mass revolt of evangelicals siding with my parents. If he wasn't for the secret service for being the king's son, you know he'd be dead."
"Not with how the Nahms pounced on him for salvation. But I guess converting the desperate and destitute wasn't enough of a guarantee for compliance for them."
"The problem with king making is that once you make someone king, they don't need you anymore."
Luke chuckled, "Yeah… I was going to ask how you've been after you disappeared… But the following and blackmail basically answered that question… just can't catch a break, can you?"
"Yeah, and just think, since I'm not married, my body will be given to them. I'll get a Christian burial and my dead name all over the granite. It's not like they can feed me to the pigs with all the preservatives in my veins for shipment. And burning my body would be exactly what I would want to begin with. So if they want to fuck me over, they ironically need to be respectful."
"Are you really willing to risk your treasure in heaven for all your suffering on a false promise of a new life through reincarnation?"
"The completely obedient and subservient Christian daughter named Jessica died a long time ago. I'm the woman who called down the wrath of the gods when she was about to be stoned to death and struck down every man who dared lift a rock from the ground."
"Wait, what?"
"My pilgrims group and a bunch of women's aid workers were dragged from our beds in the middle of the night to be murdered by a mob of prominent men from the area. I don't think they expected the little white girl to be able to bury rocks deep in their skulls at 80 miles an hour. Got quite a few before someone paid off the police enough to go against the important men in the region to intervene and rescue us. The charity completely folded afterwards, and all the police had pools added to their already huge houses. You know, in villages with naked concrete block and mud buildings."
"You… killed people?"
"Would you rather I had just rolled over and let myself and almost two dozen others die? Or take as many as I could with me."
"Martyrdom would be preferable to getting your hands dirty like that."
"Why? Would you be saying that if I was a man?"
"Do you really think becoming a Hindu is some feminist power play? They are guilty of some of the worst women's suffering on the planet. Even worse than Christian groups like where you grew up in."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because at the end of it all they will be rewarded while in your case the women and children go to hell with the men who hurt them."
"Good bye Luke." She smiled. "Never approach me again."
She walked back towards the others.
When she got there, her stern face faltered and she wiped her tears.
"Who do I get to toss overboard?" Jerry asked.
"Just leave it, Jerry," Jessica's voice cracked as she smiled.
After grabbing his standard magically unending drink, Michael made his way over. "I come in peace," he said, making the Vulcan hand sign.
"What do you want?" Jerry glared at him.
"Mea Culpas and talking about merger going forward."
"Meiko, take Brook somewhere. This isn't a talk for kids."
She nodded.
"I'll come too and escort the young ladies," Shohei said quickly. He gestured at an empty table on the far end of a deck.
The three left, but not before Brook looked back at her father.
"Ok, what do you even think you could say to us to make us not vote you out?"
"Because I'm not a murderous psycho like Becky and Ichiro." He looked over at the obliviously cackling women. He looked back. "Becky's a plant," he said softly. "I saw her working with Jason to plan what was done with Sam once he couldn't get away. It was horrible, disgusting, and filmed a couple inches from his pecker in high definition. Not that he'd talk about it."
He was happy to see on Jerry and Jessica's faces that their brains went exactly where he wanted them to.
"We need to get her out first. Vote me out next, I don't care. But she's not going to stop until she's gone."
"You say that after what you did to Sugar Petal?" Jerry demanded.
"I peed near her head while she was sleeping overnight for the smell. How was I supposed to know what kinks whoever's been fucking her since she was six has? I stopped when she tried to drink it. She literally ate a pile of shit. Normal people do not look at a pile of poop in the trees and try to eat it. Ask her when you get back. I never did anything remotely sexual to that kid. That's horrible everyone thinks that. She just turned 18 a few fucking days ago."
"You still shouldn't have done that," Jessica said.
"We were trying to gently nudge her into a medical evac through exhaustion. We stopped after a couple days the moment Becky went too far and worked to protect her from that psycho. She looked like one of those stray skeleton dogs they show in animal abuse charity ads when she came in. I'm overjoyed she looks like she's put on some weight. I don't want Becky to have access to her and Sam again. Especially with Ichiro now helping her." He looked around again and leaned in. "Jamal just asked me to use my 1% contacts to kill Vegeta. Said the people he could talk to can't do it because he's bulletproof, whatever that means. That makes a third nut about to meet his soulmates going into merger."
"I'll pass that along to Vegeta," Jerry said.
"Well…" he sighed, "That's the best I can hope for after everything. But you know who my vote's for and my stance on who needs to leave next."
Michael stepped back, then walked towards Luke holding his hands wide and wobbling slightly. "Hey, Luke! Why the long face?"
"I don't trust a guy who can pretend to be drunk so easily," Jerry said. He looked at Jessica. "What's your read on him?"
"I'm not recovered enough for that. Piccolo told me not to push it and let things happen naturally."
"Great. Well, at least my BS alarm is still functional." He looked around. "Well, Jamal's a no go. That's rage drinking if I ever saw it. Seems Craig is regretting stopping with the potatoes, though. I'll go rescue him and try to see what I can get out of him."
"I'll go sit with the others then."
They separated.
"And then… And then. Then I said, 'Next he'll be saying he's the alien who turned it into a crater!'"
The two women squealed loudly pleased with themselves.
"Hello, beautiful ladies!" Jerry walked up behind him. "Mind if I borrow your friend here for a couple fireballs before Jamal drinks all the whiskey?"
The two women looked around drunkenly and spotted Jamal finish off the bottle and toss it out into the ocean.
They thought they were whispering to each other, before agreeing and staggering to their feet.
Jerry practically dragged Craig off his chair.
"Didn't you hear them?" he stuttered.
"Yeah, and they're delusional if they think they can push him overboard. Let the women take a little swim to sober them up.
Just then, staff came up carrying large folding tables and plastic table clothes in stark contrast to everything else.
"Finally!" Becky shouted. "Pizza is finally coming!"
As Becky harassed the staff setting the tables up at the railing, Jerry took the opportunity to pull Craig away.
"Thanks, bud," he said thankfully.
"You're welcome. So, you've been kinda bouncing around, huh?"
"Yeah," he scratched the back of his head. "I've been so busy with Dad, I haven't really made any friends. Was looking to talk with the preacher again, but I don't think tonight's the night judging by the look on his face."
"Would a part-time bartender work?" he said pointing at the carts with his thumb.
The two walked over to the beer tap cart and had glasses poured.
"Nice head," Jerry said sitting down at an empty table. "Guy knows what he's doing."
"So, you used to be a bartender?"
"Yeah, I was cross-trained for when it got busy. I was actually the bouncer when I wasn't up on stage. Cousins still own a string of bars and clubs. Honky-tonks to rave pits to ritzy places Becky has probably been banned from." He rubbed his temple, "I don't want my relatives watching this for that fact alone. My poor cousins probably have PTSD if hurricane Becky ever did curse their floors."
"Interesting combination," Craig said.
"It's Florida. So," Jerry pushed his glasses back up, "What's on your mind?"
"I'm just worried about my dad. I don't know if someone like you would get it, but just the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice. It's almost like the holy spirit has left his body. Just this dark aura about him." He looked over at Jamal, "Even Jamal doesn't have it, just this aura. Like he's possessed or something."
"He's almost died several times in just two weeks, therapists are going to be making a fat buck off of all of us when this is over."
"Why did you do it?" Craig asked. "Was it just because you're so close to Jessica? How can you tolerate him when everyone else is losing their minds?"
"Maybe because I learned he was a child soldier before I found out where he was born. First impressions lead everything else, and after everyone else heard the exact same information but in a different order… that's all I can think of. But when the dude had a chance to be something else other than what he was raised to be since he was a toddler, he took it. I have to respect that."
"Why did he tell you that? That sounds rather personal."
"Dude has no filter. One of many things I've heard in a rant. He's never really hid it per say. He gets told to shut up by staff more often than not. He's morbid, overprotective, sees someone hiding behind every tree. His wife told him to care for his team mates. You saw what he built in one week. That new house we started to ease his workload is the only thing he didn't do."
"One week? How? Didn't he sleep?"
"Nope. He stays up days at a time. During the family visit he was so delirious he tried to teach Rachel how to kill him before he finally collapsed. Definitely left some accidental trauma there."
"Kill him? Himself? As in suicide?"
Jerry slightly nodded as he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but tell me Craig. Where you live. Nice little holy community? Guns and God type of place?"
"We have a bit of a drug problem like most rural communities, but I'd say so. Nice remaining piece of independent Americana after unification."
"I grew up in a very religious family. Grandma used to call out a random book and verse with no warning and if we didn't get it word for word, we got our knuckles smacked with a wooden spoon type of religious. Dad's bluegrass band still plays at church and my kids join them. Their mom and I keep them straight," he smirked seeing Craig's shocked face.
"Sounds like your father is having his first big shock to his faith. He'll be ok in the end. He's going to be dark, as you put it, for a while, but he'll come out of it. Reality smacking you in the face the first time always hurts the most."
"My family have been soldiers since the revolutionary war."
"Any of you seen combat? Bob's older than Conner and sounds like he was declared dead during it."
"Dad's unit was ordered to protect the capital. Then they were stationed back at their normal base on the wrong continent when King Piccolo attacked. All of us have been wrong place, wrong time to get deployed to combat. Which sucks."
"Really wishing to get your butt resurrected from the dead like everyone else?"
"That's not what I meant."
"That would have been the result."
"I don't think someone not in the military would understand."
"And I'm just saying unless you're trained specifically to fight in that style, you're cannon fodder."
"Then how do you explain Hercule?"
"I think he's a freak too but doesn't know it. Especially after I saw Rachel make her hands glow like a lightbulb, which is what prompted Vegeta's lecture on how to properly gather your energy and chuck it at his head."
"Christians don't believe in that energy bs."
"Well, if it wasn't her energy then she accidentally summoned the power of God while she was singing hymns," he chuckled before turning serious. "Before this gets too off track, I'm just saying your dad just got a huge hit in the feels, and he's not going to be himself for a while. There's a big divide between believing everyone can be redeemed and the wicked will burn without question, and he's just met that contradiction in the flesh."
"Alright Mr. Secretly a Christian Bartender," he said sarcastically. "How are you able to live with him?"
"Have you ever met someone beyond salvation before? Because I've had. I've seen perfectly normal people spiral after a breakup and sneak a gun into the clubs I bounced at, and I've given Narcan to people I knew for years while knowing in the back of my head it was probably too late. Vegeta's just one more dude who's trying to make it honestly after coming out of a life of shit. The bartender I used to help out? Came out of jail for drug dealing, was 15 when he was waiting out in the car when a deal went bad. Charged as an adult. Wore a tight shirt just like Vegeta to hide his gang tats while he waited in the years long line to have welfare pay to have them removed as his entire paycheck was taken for back child support for a kid that was born while he was in that he was never allowed to meet. Was homeless for a while, slept in the janitor's closet and showered in the bathroom sink for almost a year before he died. Shot trying to stop that guy who came to shoot his ex and anyone else that got in his way."
He looked down and began lightly drumming his fingers on the table. "I… I had the Big C. And after that, no relative would claim his corpse, so he was cremated and buried at the county graveyard with a number for a gravestone. And when the bar got the funds to get a funeral and a name on that stone, there was nothing under it when he was dug up. They conveniently lost the ashes and have no idea where he ended up, along with the 354 other records assigned to that id number."
He looked back up. "I've met a lot of people so fucked over by life that they wouldn't have even gotten into heaven if their mom had an abortion. Meeting a good man that will end up in hell for the sin of being born in the wrong place at the wrong time? He's not a monster secretly planning with the devil in some convoluted plan of temptation. He's a dude that jumped in between people who would hate him for existing if they knew his backstory and the real monster. It's just that crocodiles can't get time served and probation for claiming to be scared of the person he ate."
"Guy got off after shooting up a club?"
"Security, including the bartender since they were short handed that night, were already on him because he had been trespassed two months prior for a fist fight with his ex and her new boyfriend. The dumb ass who filled in for me didn't even have the brains to hide the three grand in cash that bastard gave him to be let in. Had it still shoved in his pockets when the cops showed up. But you know, dude just randomly had a gun after bribing his way into a place he was banned, then almost immediately just randomly started running in the same direction his ex-girl and her friends were while they all frantically called 911 without the slightest cause to do so. But he was a scrawny little white guy with daddy's money against a bunch of big scary not white dudes and the scariest one he just had to protect himself from was on probation after getting out after serving 20."
"I don't remember that ever hitting the news."
"Yeah well, no one gives a lick, about a poor boy's life and death, from the hoods of no-good Nazareth."
"Oh? You know that Christian rock song?"
"Yeah, it's been hitting the charts hard for over a year now. Dad's so sick and tired of it being requested he said next time he was going to mouth off. I'm sure it's happened by now and the song's tanked."
"Why? It's a great modern interpretation about the mocking of Jesus during his trial and crucifixion."
"You know the story of how the song was found? Dude just googled the word Jesus in the label's song database?"
"Yes. He said the song was 16 years old was never recorded. All he found were crooked faded paper scans. He still hadn't found this Thomas Gerald Springfield IV because he left the label right afterwards and made information public to find him."
"Well, my father is Thomas GER-ald Springfield the Third. And my friend the bartender… His name was Jesús Navarez."
Jerry smiled. "A martyr's cry, you were born to die? Don't make us laugh. You're completely daff. Your destiny was to be imprisoned. Your violent death was always a given. Jesús, Jesús. Get off that stick. Can't you see no one gives a lick. About a poor boy's life and death. From the hoods of no-good Nazareth."
Craig had a look of absolute horror on his face.
"I see I have a former fan of the song that almost ended my career," Jerry chuckled. "But really, Craig, your father is feeling betrayed and hurt right now on a deep, spiritual level." He looked over at Jamal, who was polishing off another full bottle. "Same way that dumbass is going to drop from alcohol poisoning if someone doesn't stop him." He glanced back at Craig. "All you can do is support him and get him the help he needs as soon as we're all out of here."
"Do you really think the king will allow that?"
"Hell, he'll pay for it if Vegeta's anything to go by."
"He's in therapy?"
"According to Dr. Brief, yeah. King Furry's insistence. Don't know if he meant Arthur or Fred. But this bouncer gotta bounce." He tapped the table three times, "Catch you in a sec."
Craig turned around and watched Jerry come up to Jamal. Jerry barely got three words out before Jamal swung the bottle at his head. Jerry dodged it effortlessly and kept on his toes as he stayed as unthreatening as possible, what he had to admit was a perfect example of de-escalation training.
Jamal wasn't having it. And Jerry was the exact wrong person to calm him down judging from the few intelligible sounds like 'traitor' being screamed at the top of his lungs.
Craig was about to stand when Michael ran over. It was clear to him Michael had training as well as he was able to take control of the confrontation and redirect Jamal. He was definitely a sweet talker, or a pickpocket, as he effortlessly slipped the bottle from Jamal's hand and put it behind his back. Michael wiggled it and Jerry took it as a signal to grab and hide the bottle. Once the bottle was overboard, Michael redirected Jamal away from Jerry over to the railing.
"Boo! You just spoiled the show!" Angelica catcalled as Becky opened the first pizza box.
"Why did you just throw all the pizza overboard!" Conner shouted, being brought up from below from a planned surprise appearance.
"There were pineapples on it! Pineapples are proof the bible is crap because no sane god would create them!"
"Just because the very first one you opened was pineapple didn't mean every one was! There were plenty of other types!"
"Don't turn this around on my daughter! This is all your fault for having pineapple in the first place!"
A staff member ran up and whispered in his ear.
"Ok everyone!" He clapped his hands loudly. "Because of what the Summers women did, new pizzas will take another hour and a half to two to get out here. We are turning the boat around to cut that delivery time, please watch your consumption or sit down so you don't fall on your faces or overboard while the boat is in motion for the next 20 minutes."
Conner went up to the wheelhouse and the engines soon kicked on. The boat lurched and everyone held on to something as the boats turned 180 degrees and sped off.
The huge yacht soon stabilized in the calm water and walking became easy for the (mostly) sober.
Craig took the opportunity to switch tables.
"Pastor Luke."
"Craig, welcome." He looked at Sam.
"Yeah, he can sit."
Craig nodded and sat down. "So, umm, exciting night, huh?"
"Not expecting Jamal to be an angry drunk," Sam said. "Michael's a snake. But it definitely came in handy in that moment."
"You definitely look like you could use a preacher," Luke said, "What's eating you?"
"My dad. Jerry offered his advice, which wasn't bad, but I think he's biased."
"Over what?"
"How much dad's been affected by Vegeta. I mean, Jerry can actually stomach him, so that was a bad sign from the start."
"Yeah… Vegeta… is a difficult subject. I suppose we've lived in a peaceful world with such a cartoonish binary for so long, when faced with an arguably evil man capable of such acts of kindness, our minds and hearts falter."
Craig looked away with a frustrated face.
"Jerry said the same thing?"
"Yeah… but this isn't normal. It's like the light of God has gone from his eyes. There's just blackness there, like the devil has found his roost."
Luke nodded slowly. "Hate that deep could easily be a reaction. But really in this immediate situation, all you can do is listen and be there for him, and in a few weeks when you're back home he's going to have a long walk ahead of him. All of us will." He looked at Craig, "That's all I can say without armchair diagnosing him."
"That's basically what Jerry said. But he wasn't nice about it."
"Was he really not nice about it or did the messenger change the meaning of the message?"
"He said that there are people so fucked over by life that they wouldn't have even made it into heaven if their mother's aborted them."
Sam had a look of horror on his face.
Luke was quiet for a moment.
"He's not wrong."
"Excuse me?" Craig said shocked.
"Only those who have accepted Christ have a chance to get in. That's why we're supposed to spread the gospel even at the cost of our own lives. The bible used the phrase the wide road, but if it was written today, the phrase wide conveyor belt would be more appropriate. We are just throwing our hands out trying to pull as many as we can off even if we get caught and ground to paste in the machinery. We are at war with the devil, and when dealing with the wounded we rescue, sometimes you have to play triage doctor. Do you waste time on resources in the vain hope someone will make it, or do you black tag them and put those resources to saving multiple people who are less injured vs the one.
"Take the story of the lost lamb. Yes, the shepherd found the lamb and brought it back. But the lamb was scared but uninjured. But what if it wasn't? What if it was seriously hurt with a broken leg. Even today a vet would give the option of putting the lamb down. Back then, the shepherd would slit its throat himself and leave it to rot where he found it. That is what I would say to your father. You can acknowledge someone's good deeds while recognizing it is too late. You don't have to respect the fact they want to do one last good thing before they burn even if it is pointless for their own fate. You can believe these last Hail Marys cause more harm than good. That it is selfish and causes more trauma than even the initial sins. But there is a huge difference between colloquial forgiveness and actual proper Christian forgiveness. True forgiveness has nothing to do with the sinner. It's about yourself. It is a real self-cleanse of all the toxins in your body that's not secretly a poisonous ad hoc concoction from an MLM. Your father has drunk poison hoping it will kill Vegeta. That is the normal, basic human response. Encoded in our DNA by original sin. Jesus invites us to be better. Once we're out of here, focus on getting him to wash his hands and forgive. That we don't want him following the path of every self-absorbed teenager that gets bullied of either becoming a shooter or taking their own lives because they won't let God do the work for them.—''
Sam's eyes had been getting wider and wider as Luke spoke. Finally, he interrupted him.
"I think of it more like Daniel and the lion's den," he said quickly. "Those lions killed thousands of prisoners. But God made them spare Daniel. And then they went right back to eating prisoners again without missing a beat. Even a creature like that can do God's bidding, even if it is only once. And Vegeta was the only person available or even capable of acting in that situation, or in this whole mess."
Luke looked at his cousin, "What? You believe God personally asked Vegeta to be nice?"
"Well, not literally. But you haven't been here this whole time for the weird stuff."
"Which can all ironically be explained rationally as alie —"
"Hello, everyone," Michael appeared smiling, interrupting the conversation.
"Oh, hey Michael," Sam said, not particularly amused.
"Can I sit for a moment?"
"Yeah… sure…" he said. "For a moment."
Michael pulled a chair out, but flipped it around and sat backwards. "Thanks, boats rocking a little too much for the wine."
"How's Jamal?" Craig asked.
"Not good. The alcohol isn't helping his mental state. Hopefully he'll regret this in the morning, but I doubt it. Alcohol only brings issues to the surface, and he's one bitter, angry bastard. Are you feeling better Luke?"
"Yeah… I'm just thinking I should take my own advice sometimes and focus on other things… But, anyway, find that answer out yet?"
"Nope."
"What question? Sam asked.
"The king mentioned a parable in reference to his views on Vegeta but never elaborated," Luke said. "I'm curious too now even if I can guess the context from the title."
"Which is?"
"The Alcoholic father and his twin sons."
"Oh, I know that from the state teenager outreach training. It's more tailored for city life than good old country roads, but it's a one size fits most situation."
"What is it?" Michael asked, smiling.
"There was an alcoholic father with identical twin sons. One son became an alcoholic. The other never touched it. When both were interviewed as to why, they both answered 'I learned it from my father'. It's about how siblings growing up in the same hellscape can have radically different outcomes."
"But both are still stuck on the conveyor belt," Luke said, taking a drink of water. "Not worth it. But why did it come up with Vegeta?"
"Ichiro got in a screaming match with the king about how Vegeta was completely incapable of any act of kindness. Apparently, Vegeta has a soft spot for women."
"Oh boy… yeah. When I was warned about Vegeta's gallows humor," Sam began, "I was told he joked about when his father blew his mother's brains out while he was sitting in her lap covering him in her insides. Said his father thought he was too close to his mother and needed to learn a woman's real value. But it seems he's taken that lesson and run too far in the opposite direction judging from Bulma constantly screaming and hitting him…"
"What now?" all three said at the same time.
Sam just nodded and took his own sip of water. "Yeah… I'm not particularly thrilled about dealing with that going forward, but beggars can't be choosers, I guess."
Michael was stuck mouthing to himself.
"I guess she finally found the one person on the planet willing to put up with her shit," Craig said.
"Did you know about the domestic violence from the tabloids or something?" Luke asked.
"My family follows baseball. There was an incident at one of the Titan's away games where Bulma got in a fight with Yamcha accusing him of flirting with the poor waitress just trying to take their order and reached over the table and smacked him with her purse without a second thought. And then when she got kicked out, she went full Karen mode and said she was rich enough to buy the entire restaurant and turn it into a parking lot. And she actually did it. Gave the owners enough for five billion zeni after taxes, with a B, and then paved it over and gifted it to the business next door for off street parking. She's definitely got 'I don't give a shit money' aura about her," he said, rubbing his back.
"Is that what caused them to break up?" Luke asked.
"Nope, they were together another two years. Ironic, she never allowed him to talk to a woman under any circumstances but got pregnant by another dude."
"Sounds like they deserve each other then," Luke said.
"Yamcha, as in the security guy who's friends with Vegeta?" Sam asked.
"Then the guy is a giant simp who won't give up on a married woman," Craig said.
"Wait, wait, wait. Those two were broken up for two of his three years on the Titans. I know, because I was with her for one of them. We were on the cover of every tabloid for every red carpet event."
"Not from what Sports Illustrated said in their 'Where are they now?'," Craig said. "Yamcha was still living at Capsule Corp while Bulma moved out. I wouldn't think most in-laws would have an ex live with them, or pay for an apartment after she returned. Especially since they cut him off after Vegeta came into the picture. Dudes on housing assistance in a studio apartment that's had the owner sued multiple times for being a slumlord. He's had multiple buildings condemned, so he's probably on the fast track to homelessness."
"SHE. WAS. WITH. ME," Michael snarled, smacking the table loudly with each word causing everything to jump and clatter.
This caused everyone on the deck to stop and look.
"Now who's the simp," Craig said.
Michael stood and left.
"You're going to regret that," Sam said.
Everyone felt the boat lurch. Then they noticed the lights of the resort approaching quickly.
The camera crews reorganized to film the arrival of the new pizza.
Everyone found seats.
Hassim surprisingly approached Jerry's group. It was awkward shoving the two circular tables together, but the large group made it work, with Meiko and Shohei sitting sideways at the second table as Hassim moved in between Jessica and Meiko.
Suddenly Michael tapped Jerry on the shoulder.
"What?"
Michael pointed at Jamal, who was hanging over the side. "He's passed out," he said softly. "Staff is being normal."
Jerry followed Michael and they grabbed Jamal before he fell overboard and carried him over to where they could see him and laid him on his side propped from falling over by a chair.
Michael then sat at the far end of Meiko and Shohei's table, just listening to the conversation.
Becky and Angelica sat at the table behind Jerry.
Craig stayed with Luke and Sam.
Maple was still separated by her guards.
"Dad," Brook asked, seeing her father come back with his pizza. "What are you planning? You hate pineapple…"
While Michael was committing the cardinal sin of cutting up a pizza with a knife and fork, Jerry quickly gained everyone's attention.
He was eating his pineapple pizza extremely loudly. He even tilted his head back and messily shoved whole slices into his mouth. He was constantly looking at the other table.
And they were glaring at him.
Finally, Becky could not take it anymore and screamed, stood up, and dumped the pitcher of ice water over his head.
Jerry just smiled. "Thanks for the shower, ladies." He then took a slice and began rubbing it under his armpits while singing. "Splish splash. I'm taking a bath. All alone on a Saturday night…"
"Dad!" Brook shouted.
"What? They're not even my clothes."
Becky screamed and raised the pitcher to smash over his head.
Michael was already on his feet at this point and grabbed Becky's arm. He shoved her hard back into her seat and the whole thing tipped over landing her on the deck.
Shohei took Angelica down next, which wasn't hard with the amount of alcohol the two had drunk.
"Stay down!" Michael barked. Then he turned to Jerry. "Jerry, don't antagonize the bitches! Do you want to end up like Sam?! You can't defend yourself when you're asleep, damn it."
"I see you can't even stop fighting even on what's meant to be a happy occasion."
Everyone looked and saw Conner had returned to the deck.
"Alright everybody. Before we get too far into the pizza, we have one more guest tonight. Isaac! Get up here and join the party."
"Oh, God. I knew it…" Luke moaned, putting his face in his hands and shook his head.
Isaac walked up and looked around.
Michael suddenly raised his hands in defeat. "Ok. I know when I'm not wanted." He went over and grabbed his plate and a chair. "Ok Isaac. Have fun."
He went over and sat down near Jamal, who was now laying in his own vomit.
Isaac walked past Sam and company's table and walked over to Jerry.
"Nice song choice, Thomas," he smiled, leaning over and placing his hand on his shoulder.
"How?! Don't say that!" Brook shouted.
"You've been watching a live feed, huh?" Jerry glared suspiciously.
"Yep. Don't need to fill me in. You, ah, didn't steal all the pineapple, did you?"
"You… actually… like pineapple," Jessica said.
"Yeah, and got beat up for it. I had to be moved to isolation. First meal I got after getting out."
Jerry casually pointed at Isaac, "So where did you learn to cut up your pizza like that?"
"Italy."
"He's right," Hassim said. "The US and UK are the only countries obsessed with pizza being hands only. Probably from the fast-food joints in Italy from WWII. They don't give out utensils so it's hands only."
"Do you want to go grab your cutlery?" Isaac looked at him.
Hassim scooted back his chair. "Thanks for breaking the ice." He went and grabbed a plastic knife and fork from the table and returned. Shohei and Meiko followed his lead and grabbed utensils.
"Whatever," Jerry shrugged. He left and went to the railing next to the pizza tables.
He threw up. Then wiped his mouth and piled a new plate with multiple slices of meat lovers.
"Roman feast, am I right?" he chuckled, sitting back down.
"So, how did you get away with eating pineapple in Italy?" Hassim asked.
"Never did," Isaac said. "My little rebellion in boarding school."
"You were always a glutton for punishment. Stupid shit like that is why Dad had to hire professionals to beat your ass after 6th grade."
"Shut up, Midas!"
"You're the dumbass who decided to grab the extension cord. What did you think he was going to do, congratulate you for standing up for yourself? I got whipped too you know, but I took it. Because I didn't want to test out what he'd do when he was really pissed. And when you did, made me even more glad I never tried!"
"Dad barely touched you!" he stood, "Because you always framed me for your shit!"
"Survival of the fittest. If you weren't such a moron, you would have gotten out like I did instead of going to prison!"
"Dad let you go because you were his favorite!"
"Excuse me?" It was Michael's turn to stand. He walked over pointing at him, "Dad tried to scuttle me dozens of times! And my lawyer has everything to prove it. I sold my company to the Briefs for protection and when Yamcha and Bulma broke up for the thousandth time, I saw a chance to make sure he could never touch me again."
"Hey! Argue about this topic later! There's kids here!" Jerry shouted.
Maple had her fingers in her ears.
Brook was hunched over awkwardly trying to fuse with the table, sucking from her straw.
Michael chuckled as he dropped his arm. "Isaac, you're positive Dad isn't going to weasel out of this? You should know better than anyone what happens to witnesses in prison."
"They got him even if he kills everyone involved," Isaac said confidently.
Michael walked over to a cart and grabbed a bottle of expensive wine and whiskey and held them up. "That's something worth getting drunk over! Ding dong the witch is dead! We'll let our lawyers fight over dad's corporate corpse later. Which do you want, dummy?"
"You're still calling me a dummy?"
"Well, if I tried to be sentimental and called you brother, you'd try and punch me in the face, right?"
Michael gave him a smirk.
Isaac realized Michael had twisted the argument in his favor, again. He stormed over and ripped the whiskey bottle out of his hand and returned to his seat.
"Good choice."
"Isaac," Jerry pointed at him when he sat down. "I know you were brought on to fuck over Michael. But not in front of my kid."
"Michael is already getting voted out," Jessica said. "Don't work so hard or you'll end up just as covered in mud as him. He's more screwed than he knows."
"The night is tense enough as it is," Shohei said. "Let's just ignore the game and just enjoy the night." He began cutting up a slice, "So who wants to start telling embarrassing stories about their children?"
"Dad."
"Oh, don't worry Brook. You know how your mom is about privacy." Jerry smiled, "Buuuut, I'm another story. Who wants to hear about the stupid shit my brothers and I did as kids?"
"Please not the electric fence story," Brook sighed.
"Who ended up sterile?" Isaac asked, rolling his eyes at the obvious conclusion.
"No one, but Earl broke his arm after being blasted up in a tree. Neighbor cranked it high because he was tired of us spraypainting dongs on his cows. Animal safe paint. Farmers use it all the time."
Meiko smiled, "Any other crazy stories?"
"I got a couple, but the craziest I don't think would be a good idea."
"Why?"
"Let's just say Vegeta isn't the only one to kill a gator with a knife," Jerry said.
"I don't mind," Jessica said. "I already beat the idiot over the head with a stick for scaring the crap out of us."
"You sure?" Jerry asked. "Absolutely sure? It's only been a couple days."
"Yeah, I'm good."
"Everyone else ok?" Jerry looked around.
"Yeah, go for it," Hassim said.
"Ok, well, it was my 16th birthday. It's a tradition so a bunch of us were out there on the airboats drinking. Won't say which adults were there letting us get plastered along with them. Cow died giving birth earlier in the year so the farmer had the animal ready for that year's hunts. So, we went out and set the traps."
Jerry held his arms out and rotated one around the other. "If you set the ropes right it will capture itself in its death roll. After that, you pull it in, pin it down, and drive the knife through its neck. Gator BBQ tonight. Shot five pythons that week messing with the traps. Gators are fine but you don't mess with pythons. Just grab your ARs and let loose whenever you see one."
"Why would you do that?" Meiko asked.
"Invasive species," Jerry said. "Those things eat everything, including gators and people. Some shits are over 20 feet long and fuck with the livestock worse than gators ever did. If it can kill a donkey, you know it means business." He rolled his eyes, "Battle's going about as well as the Great Emu War honestly."
"The what?" she asked.
"Oh boy…" Brook moaned, rubbing her forehead. "Don't get the meme king started."
Jerry grinned. "Would you rather the king and queen of useless tangents be here?"
"No," she said loudly.
"Good, now let the adults talk unless you want me to get Grammy and Grampy on speaker phone."
She raised her eyebrow, "They took all our cell phones. You can't threaten me with that."
Jerry leaned over the table. "Yes. Right Now." He grinned and lifted his eyebrows twice.
Dinner moved along. Jerry being the clown while the Summers women talked loudly, sometimes shouting over Jerry when his stories became interesting, with ideas for vengeance both in and after the game.
Angelica's ideas were bankrupting with a tsunami of lawsuits, dangling millions in front of employers, landlords, zoning boards and local councils to make them blacklisted and homeless for the rest of their lives.
Becky's was pure violence, and chimed in excitedly at all the things they could do once they were in poverty. Botched robberies. Kidnapping and selling for labor or organs. Framing for crimes to have them tortured in prison by whoever will take the cash.
Everyone wanted to shut them up by the time Conner practically leapt up on deck from downstairs as Becky droned on and on, seemingly knowing way too much detail about how to make sure CPS places their children in homes that make extra income in short videos for a certain niche audience.
"OK EVERYONE!" Conner shouted. "TIME FOR THE AWARD CEREMONY!"
"Finally," Angelica smiled, touching her chest. "Give me your little trinket as proof for how wonderfully intelligent and intuitive I am."
Conner clapped his hands together. "If everyone would allow the tables to be pushed aside briefly, the dining room will be put back exactly how it was once we are done."
The tables were all moved, and a wooden stool set up in the corner.
Conner stood next to the chair with a box. "Maple, if you would come over here and sit down."
Maple glanced at her guards, who nodded in permission. She walked over and sat down.
"Maple Syrup, you won the challenge with most answers right." He opened the box, first showing the cameras and party guests, then turning around and presenting it to Maple. "This is a 14 karat gold chain with a 24 karat gold pendant of the season's logo. It is worth 5,500 zeni and yours to keep." He took it out of the box and put it around her neck.
Staff gave the signal to clap and everyone did so to varying levels of enthusiasm.
"We also have one more prize for you tonight," Conner said, raising his hand to get the others to stop clapping. After everyone was silent, he continued.
"You have a difficult choice." He pulled out two folded rectangular pieces of paper. "You can either take this check for 25 thousand zeni for yourself right now, or… you can give 50 thousand zeni to a charity of your choice. Which will it be?"
"The charity," she answered immediately.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded. "Yes, I am very sure."
Conner put the checks back in the box and handed it off to a staff member who briefly came into frame. "Alright, let's give Maple one last round of applause."
Everyone clapped again as Conner motioned for Maple to return to her seat.
The clapping stopped when she sat down.
"Now, Angelica," Conner said loudly. "We prepared this prize, but honestly thought no one would ever win it. But you have exceeded the planners of this season's expectations." He raised his hand and a waiter pushed over a large locked box on a serving cart, with a pile of black fabric next to it.
"Everyone, including you Angelica, will be blindfolded so not to spoil this special occasion. Angelica if you would come sit here where Maple was, we can begin.
The waiting staff then came forward and blindfolded everyone.
"Now, to avoid cheating, everyone must turn around. No peeking as we open the box."
The staff turned everyone around. Then Conner opened the box.
"Oh. Oh. Oh. It's a crown," Angelica said as she felt an object placed on her head.
Conner quickly rushed to the opposite corner of the deck. "Ok everyone! Take off your blindfolds and look to see Angelica in all of her glory!"
Everyone turned around and took them off and saw Angelica stand there smugly. "Regal, aren't I," she drunkenly posed.
Everyone laughed uncontrollably. Even Maple giggled to the stern glares of her guards.
But Becky turned red. "Mom! Get that off your head! Now!"
Angelica took it off her head confused.
It was a cheap, plastic, poorly gold spray painted, with glitter glue lettering…
Dunce cap.
While her drunk brain took a few seconds, Conner shouted over the laughter. "Angelica! You got — Every. Single. Question. Wrong. Even your own daughters!"
Her drunk synapses finally connected and she chucked the dunce cap at Conner.
He ducked out of the way easily and it flew overboard.
Then she charged at Conner screaming.
Conner again stepped aside easily and Angelica impacted full force into the railing…
That swung open revealing the location to be the gate to the ladder.
Angelica fell into the water to the waiting camera boats below.
"You did that on purpose!" Becky attacked next.
But this time Isaac intervened.
He intercepted her, grabbed her arm, then shoulder threw her over the side next to her mother.
Then he ripped open his shirt and threw it aside, revealing two long, nasty scars on his abdomen and back.
"FRAME AND TORTURE SOMEONE IN PRISON, HUH?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND DAD CAN ALL BURN IN HELL!"
"Damn, Isaac…" Michael muttered. Then he walked over, "Isaac! I think you've had too much to drink tonight."
"I haven't had a damn glass tonight," he pointed at him, almost poking him in the chest. "Just like you." Isaac spat at his feet. He went and grabbed his plate, searched all the boxes for the remaining pineapple, then carried everything downstairs.
"Don't worry about the women folks," Conner said loudly. "We have lifeguards in the waiting boats and they will be taken to shore shortly. Enjoy the rest of your night.
Everyone but Maple clapped and cheered. Jerry held his arms over his head and did his traditional holler.