A/N on setting: I know the episode isn't edited this way, but based on comments from the episode itself (such as Sidney going to get sleep after a 36-hour shift) and from the showrunner elsewhere (saying there was about a week between whenTitanfound theEleosand when it later rendezvoused with theIntrepid), I'm surmising there was some down time after the big P/C conversation in Sickbay before Vadic found them again in the nebula.

Many, many thanks to Alison M. for the amazingly helpful beta! Thanks also to Michelle P. for her insights that influenced this one.

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Returning to Sickbay, Jack Crusher found his mother staring down at an empty biobed, looking pale and shaken. He frowned. Her first meeting in decades with his nominal father was bound to have been fraught. Whatever the vaunted admiral had said to upset her, though, Jack was sure she hadn't deserved it. He ducked his head a bit to catch her eye. "I'm thinking I shouldn't have left you alone for that," he observed.

Beverly Crusher forced a smile as she looked up at him, silver waves of hair framing her face. "We needed to speak alone, Jack. It's fine."

"Right, see, you say that, and yet somehow I don't believe it. Probably because you're lying."

She shot him a dry look. "Are you hungry? Why don't I see if we can be assigned some spare quarters for a little while?"

"And you're also deflecting." Jack considered for a moment and glanced around the medbay. Captain Riker's counsel notwithstanding, he found himself itching to escape further accusatory stares from the Titan crew for the moment. He didn't want them to be risking their lives for him; he'd tried to avoid the current mess entirely by transporting himself off the ship. Now that they all were trapped here nonetheless, he would do everything he could to help…but he still didn't like being the object of their resentment and hostility. "But since I'd just as soon be out of here too, you win," he decided. "Temporarily."

A quick request by a sympathetic nurse who'd welcomed the Crushers' help earlier landed them quarters a few decks below. The windowless, interior cabin was modest but—compared to Beverly's prior residence in Sickbay and Jack's prior residence in the brig—more than welcome. Beverly showered first, and emerged from the restroom in freshly-replicated clothes to find her son had already wolfed down his meal and was fidgeting absentmindedly with a straw.

"Better now?" she asked.

Jack shrugged and hopped up from the dining alcove to offer her his chair. "Who's to say, really? Here we are on a Federation starship, and dependent on the whims of a captain who'd just as soon turn me over to whoever or whatever that Vadic woman is." He took his mother's old, neatly-folded clothes to deposit in the recycler and swallowed back a sour taste in his mouth as he saw the scorched holes in the fabric. "Admiral Picard really did a bang-up job of rescuing us. I don't trust anyone here."

For her part, given the number of assailants that had attacked the two of them recently, Beverly was thankful to finally be under the protection of a better-armed ship than the Eleos. She had to admit she'd felt at home being back in a Starfleet sickbay, too, Doctor Ohk's condescension aside; she knew she and Jack had done plenty of good helping with the victims of the confrontation with the Shrike. Still, like Jack, she remained uneasy about their situation. Shaw might have acquiesced to Riker and Picard for now, but that wasn't a guarantee they weren't in just as much danger here on the Titan as from the ship hunting them in the nebula.

She sighed. "I don't either," she agreed. "But he did protect us." She ordered tomato soup, French bread, and ice water from the replicator, and when Jack waved her off from carrying it all herself, settled carefully into his vacated chair, wincing at a lingering twinge in her side.

"Hmph." Jack brought the tray of food over to the table, then leaned against the wall with folded arms and feigned casualness. "So…what did he say? And kindly, Mother…"

"No lying or deflecting?"

He quirked a wry smile back at her. "You're the one who taught me poker. I can tell."

Too well, sometimes. Her smile faded. Beverly was used to sharing everything with her son, but for once she wasn't sure what to say. She felt as if she'd been hit by a raging storm that left her psyche battered and bowed in its wake. She and Jean-Luc had argued in the past, of course, but there had always been a heat behind it—the same heat that would inevitably draw them back together. So although she'd known he would be angry, the absolute-zero coldness of the fury he'd turned on her had still been a shock.

Was she naïve to imagine he might have understood? That in the turmoil of finding herself pregnant after their separation, amidst a succession of brutal attacks on his life, Beverly had struggled with bitter truths: Jean-Luc had never wanted to be a father, and he would never be able to refuse the call of duty, no matter how much anguish it brought them. As long as she stayed, her baby, the only child of Jean-Luc Picard, would forever have been at risk from the enemies that threatened him. She had to leave, and so she did, and yet—her conviction was never quite as absolute as her actions had to be. She despaired at the cosmic irony that, like a dying star collapsing and exploding into a luminous nebula, their relationship had burned out and ended in failure just as it had given rise to new life…

But the wonderful, perfect innocence of that little life gave her life clarity and purpose, along with reason every day to remember the love they had once had. Delighting in their son as he grew, safe and secure from the galactic instability that swirled far away from the home she built for them, how could she possibly have held on to the anger, the hurt, the devastation she had carried with her away from the Enterprise? Over time, she'd let it fade—or so she thought until today, when that anger and hurt had roared back in response to Jean-Luc's own.

Being next to him again, after so long, utterly wrenched at her. It wasn't all right, not even close to it, and it was because of her and because of him and if she'd ever thought there could be anything left smoldering in the fire of what they'd once had, it was all but extinguished.

What might I have been? Jean-Luc had asked, and he was lying to himself if he thought he could have changed things then, but she was lying to herself now if she pretended the question didn't tear at her soul.

"It's complicated," she began at last, then admitted, "He wasn't happy."

"About my existence?" Jack asked acidly. He knew he wasn't necessarily model son material for the legendary flag officer, a fact only made clearer by Picard's contempt at Jack's checkered record. But what of it? Jack didn't need that kind of condescension directed at him from a man who'd never cared enough to have a family in the first place. If he had troubled to care, maybe Picard wouldn't have made Jack's mother feel that she had to protect his own son from him in the first place. Maybe he would even have bothered to look for her after she left. No—if Picard had so little interest in either of them, then to hell with him.

"No, of course not," Beverly said, taken aback. "I'm sure that once we get out of this, now that he knows, he'll want to spend time with you. Get to know you."

"A shame it's not mutual."

"Jack."

At his mother's evident dismay, Jack relented only slightly, rubbing a hand through his thick brown hair. "Well he's made it bleeding obvious he wishes he hadn't come at all."

But he had come, she reminded herself, just as she'd trusted he would—and had saved Jack. Because of Jean-Luc, they had a chance now that they never would have otherwise. "Give it time. I think it's just…a lot to take in."

Jack made a dismissive noise. First Captain Riker with his finest man I've ever known lines, and now this. He knew his mother still cared for, even loved, Picard in her own way, but little the admiral had done or said to him indicated all this fine sentiment was deserved. "I don't see why you're defending him."

"That's not exactly—" Beverly saw the accusation in his gaze and stopped. Whatever her own feelings, complex as they always had been when it came to Jean-Luc, she had never wanted to give Jack cause to feel animosity towards him. Was it really inevitable that Jack would feel that way anyway? She'd never known the reason why Jack had chosen not to meet his father once she told him everything, but had respected his decision. Still, even as they'd embarked on their far-flung mercy missions and made a good, meaningful life for themselves, she'd never let go of her hope that someday there could be a connection between Jack and Jean-Luc. Even if, in consequence of her own choices, it couldn't involve her…

Resolutely tamping down on her own feelings, she tried again. "I appreciate that you're looking out for me, Jack. I'm only trying to give us all some time to work through this. But if Jean-Luc is upset, he's upset with me. Not you."

"Eh, that's debatable." Jack shook his head and dropped down on the couch before springing back up again, frustrated. His mother still looked frail in a way she never had before and he felt fairly certain who was to blame, notwithstanding her attempts to minimize it. "You don't deserve it, though, Mother. And I question whether he deserves the benefit of doubt you're giving him."

Beverly looked away, unable to process everything out loud right now. The memories and emotions of the last twenty-odd years and twenty-odd hours were all playing out in her mind and she was going to need to take some of that time she'd just talked about.…She took a long sip of water and then offered a wan smile, changing the subject. "Well, in any case. I'm glad you met Will Riker."

Jack stared at her hard for a moment, then decided it was best to follow her lead and let it go for now. He sighed and sat back down across from her, picking up the abandoned straw again to twist it. "The captain? Right, he's not half bad, actually. And he had a son about my age."

Beverly's smile turned warm. "Yes, and he has a daughter, too, not much younger."

"On Nepenthe, he said." Jack frowned. "But I think, having lost his son—that's why he's been more keen on helping us, even more than Picard."

Her spoon froze in midair. "What?"

Jack looked at her, puzzled, then drew back slightly. "You didn't know."

Beverly shook her head in wordless shock, letting the spoon fall and covering her mouth with her other hand. Oh, Deanna, no. She'd never had the chance to meet little Thad except over subspace; he'd been born on the Titan shortly before she had left Starfleet. Of course she remembered him, though, and she'd still kept abreast of their family news where she could for the first few years. But Thad was gone—? Looking at her son across from her, safe and healthy, concern animating his handsome face, Beverly imagined her friends' son beside him and felt grief hit like another blow from the storm.

"Ah, damn. I'm really sorry about that." Jack cringed. He knew his mother needed a respite to help her recovery progress, and instead he'd unintentionally added to her distress. He tried to console her. "For what it's worth, Mother, Riker cares about you a great deal."

Beverly tried to smile around the lump in her throat, remembering how good Will had been with her earlier. He'd been so immediately determined to do what he could to help Jack, for both her and Jean-Luc's sakes, and now she understood all the more why. Jack was right about him. "He's a good man."

Jack sat with her in respectful silence for a moment, before dropping the straw and standing up from the table. "I, ah, think I'll go freshen up," he offered, and she nodded.

"Yes," she said, her voice regaining strength as she focused her attention on Jack taking care of himself. "It's been a long few days—you'll feel much better once you do."

"Right." Jack shrugged off his leather jacket and tossed it on the couch, then turned back towards his mother, who was sitting very still as she stared down at the cooling soup. "You'll be all right?"

"I'll be fine," she assured him, and Jack knew she was lying and she knew it, too, but this time, he let her be.