A/N
Content warning: contains corporal punishment
Please feel free to skip this chapter if that makes you uncomfortable.
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Morning broke quickly the next day; Remus was sure he hadn't gotten more than a few hours sleep. Despite trying to play down how bad his injuries were to his child yesterday, they were actually giving him quite a bit of bother.
It was one of the worst full moons he'd had in a while; for whatever reason he'd struggled to stay sane and took to scratching himself which made for a painful transformation back to his human form. Poppy, the Mediwitch, debated whether he needed to stay for the day to keep an eye on one specific cut that kept reopening but Lupin had insisted that he would keep an eye on it and taken pain potions throughout the day.
The next morning his leg however, the man's leg was starting to burn again; so much so, that he consuming a pain reliever to reduce the sting in his leg, but also to see if it would relieve the niggling pain that had surfaced in his head; Remus was sure it was from stress.
With Harry constantly testing him and the boundaries, getting himself sent out of class, among other things like Sirius Black, Remus was very much looking forward to having a, somewhat, relaxing afternoon at Hogsmeade later. He felt more than guilty that Harry wouldn't be able to attend but, with the idea that popped into his head the night before, he was sure he could make it up to the teen.
He grabbed a jumper with far less holes than some of his other items, pulling it over his head and headed out the door to find the salve he'd been instructed to rub in his particularly bad cut.
Finding it in his bathroom cabinet, the man wandered down to the kitchen, salve bottle in hand, before pulling out a chair slightly and resting his foot on the seat to get better access to the wound. He began lightly rubbing in the salve, wincing every now and again when an area was particularly stingy.
"I thought you said you were alright from the full moon?" A voice near the door frame made the man jump.
He had been so engrossed in ensuring he massaged the salve correctly that he hadn't heard the heavy steps of his teen wandering down the hall.
"Oh - good morning Cub." Remus replied as he pulled his trouser leg down and placed the lid back on the bottle. "It's not that bad; nothing I'm not used to anyways."
"That looked pretty bad…" Harry replied, clearly unconvinced at the man's words.
"It's a little worse than usual but nothing I can't handle," Lupin gave with a small, reassuring smile that seemed to perk the teen up a bit. Ever since Harry was young, he had always seemed to worry himself about Remus's transformations. As a young boy, it wasn't unheard of for Harry to refuse to sleep during the full moon, instead keeping the adult that was on wolf watch, awake for hours on end trying to calm the boy.
"Anyway; don't you be worrying yourself about me. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes." The man opened the cupboards and put down some table mats. "Why don't you get yourself dressed for the day and I'll let you know of a little plan I've come up with."
Harry looked at Remus questioningly, waiting to see if he said anymore on the matter before realising that he was not going to do so. Instead, he padded down the hall and quickly changed into a t-shirt and a pair of black jeans.
Walking back out into the hall, Harry heard the distinct clatter of the cutlery drawer opening and closing, along with plates being laid down on the table. The young teen took a seat at the small wooden table as his guardian placed scrambled eggs on toast in front of him and sat down in the seat next to Harry.
"What was your idea?" Harry asked curiously, before taking a bite out of his breakfast.
"Well, seeing as you cannot come to Hogsmeade today, I was wondering whether you would like to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow instead? Just me and you."
"How's that any different to me going to Hogsmeade today?" Harry replied with a whine.
"Well, for one, we would not be surrounded by half the school at Hogsmeade which would be a massive target for Sirius Black, and secondly, we can have the shops pretty much to ourselves so you can have a look round on your own."
Harry listened to the man and briefly paused before replying, "Thanks, but I've got homework to do."
Remus couldn't help but raise his eyebrows at the child. "Homework which you could complete today surely?"
"No, it's just - a lot of work." Harry replied unconvincingly. In actuality he only had a transfiguration essay that was already half completed and a herbology essay that he needed to write, not particularly quick assignments but certainly not ones that should've taken up the whole day.
"How about we'll see how much you get finished by tonight and then you can decide if you'll have time?"
"Sure." Harry replied as he pushed his plate away. The tiny snitches in his stomach had emerged again and he hated it. But the lying wouldn't even be necessary if his guardian would just let him go to Hogsmeade like everyone else.
The teen stood up from behind his chair, "Can I be excused?"
Remus nodded before pausing, "Cub, you know I would let you go if it was not for the current situation, right?"
Harry hummed, "yeah." The slight hint of annoyance shone through his expression.
Remus offered the child one more sympathetic look before standing also, "go and get yourself ready and I will walk you down to the library for the day then."
"Surely I can walk down there on my own." Harry raised his tone ever so slightly.
"Harry," Remus lightly warned as he raised his eyebrows once more. "Go and get your bag please"
Harry walked down the corridor, with heavier footing than usual, but managing to keep his composure somewhat.
The teen felt his cheeks warm slightly at his attitude towards his guardian as he gathered a couple of his books, as well as his school bag, and began stuffing them in before his door opened after a light knock.
"Come on Harry, you know I want to let you go more than anything." Remus spoke as he lent on the doorframe to the child's room.
Harry huffed in reply.
"I know it's disappointing but please try and see the light in this. You'll be safe here at Hogwarts and then tomorrow, when I keep a closer eye on our surroundings, we can go together." The man's tone was soft. "Please Cub, don't be so upset about this."
"I'm not Remus." Harry snapped as he attempted to shove a coat that was far too big, into a bag that was far too little.
"Harry..." Lupin chastised, "I appreciate that you are disappointed over not being about to go to Hogsmeade but this is out of my control and I'm trying everything in my power to make it up to you, however the attitude stops here please."
"Then just let me go to Hogsmeade!"
"You know full well the answer to that Harry, get your things and let's go."
"Urgh" Harry let out a frustrated noise before staring at his guardian as an indication for him to leave.
"I will wait by the door for you." Remus replied, taking a deep breath, as he continued to rapidly lose his patience with Harry's angst that morning. The man raised one more warning eyebrow at the child before turning around and heading down to the end of the hallway.
Harry waited until he was sure Remus had gone before opening his wardrobe door and retrieving his cloak that lay on the top shelf, stuffing it into his bag. This quickly followed by the teen retrieving the map from underneath his pillow and placing this into his backpack also.
He double checked his room for any sign of what he was up to before leaving and closing the door behind him and walking up to the door where his guardian stood, arms folded and brows furrowed.
"Ready?"
Harry nodded in reply with a slight sniff.
"Do you need a hat and some gloves to walk down?"
"No." The reply was quick and short, Harry was in no mood to entertain Lupin with unnecessary conversations.
"Okay, let's go then." The man replied with a deep breath for the second time that day before opening the door, allowing his ward to walk out first before closing it behind himself and locking it with a charm.
Harry didn't seem to wait for the man as by the time the door was locked, the teen was already halfway down the corridor, failing to even turn and look back at the absence of his guardian.
Remus took long strides to catch up to the child who, thankfully, was not particularly tall, making it much easier for Remus to double Harry's strides.
"You will stay in the library all morning, correct?"
"Yes," the teen replied stiffly.
"I will only be supervising the trip for the morning so I can pick you up later and perhaps we can do something nice this afternoon?"
"Fine."
Remus resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the boy. "Hopefully you'll get your work done and we can have a nice day tomorrow."
The silence and tension that followed was thick.
The pair passed through the entrance hall and courtyard where the third years and over were gathering for the trip, Harry could hear the excitement and buzz surrounding the students and felt his stomach sink even further.
They walked the remainder of the way to the library in silence until reaching the large double doors for the entrance.
"I will see you in a couple of hours, okay cub. Try and get as much homework done as you can."
Harry nodded before pushing the door open.
"Harry -" Remus called, to which he turned. "Please stay in this room, I would be very disappointed if I find you elsewhere."
"I will." Harry muttered before turning back around and rolling his eyes.
Remus took one more deep breath before allowing the door to shut behind his teen.
The man made his way back down the corridor, in the direction of the courtyard where everyone was meeting before an idea struck him.
He had the Marauder's Map that he could use to track Harry, that way he would know for certain if the child was going to keep his word.
The professor neared the entrance hall once more, the sound of the excited children had grown much louder than ten minutes previous as Lupin realised there was only two minutes to go before the school was supposed to leave. There would be no way he would have time to get to the teachers wing and back.
As a last gasp idea, the man muttered "accio Marauders Map" but to his lack of surprise, the spell did not work.
Accepting defeat, Lupin joined the teachers assigned for the Hogsmeade trip and set off at ten o'clock with everyone else, the pit of worry about his angsty teenager never leaving his stomach.
Harry hadn't even given himself a chance to take a seat in the large, but very much deserted, library before he swung his invisibility cloak around his head and exited through the very same large oak doors that his guardian had watched him enter, a mere five minutes ago.
The teen's small legs began to pace quickly down the corridors, passing the odd first or second year who could not see him. The cool winter sun gleamed through the stone windows creating a shadow like effect in the hard stone floor. There was a slight chill in the crisp October air. It was clear that winter was approaching.
Harry was silently cursing himself for not bringing the hat and gloves that his guardian had advised earlier.
He turned the last corner to the secret passageway where the one-eyed witch statue had been the last time he had ventured to Hogsmeade. The teen had spoken the password quietly before running down the long passageway, eager to get to Hogsmeade as soon as he could to not miss out on the fun.
Remus suspiciously eyed Harry's best friends, Ron and Hermione, as they stood waiting outside of Honeydukes, unlike all the other students who were enjoying the shops and places to eat that Hogsmeade had to offer.
Choosing to give them the benefit of the doubt, the man turned around and headed towards Zonko's where he was sure students would be attempting to buy some prohibited items such as dung bombs without the eagle eyes of the teaching staff noticing. Lupin was not yet sure of his stance on confiscating certain items from students; after all, himself and his friends were known as being some of the biggest troublemakers Hogwarts had ever seen; despite being sure that Harry was already giving him the run for his money.
Remus' suspicions evaporated when he watched his teens friends pass him in the street and enter Zonko's joke shop like all the other students. Lupin double backed himself and instead decided to head to Honeydukes to keep an eye on some fourth years that were causing quite a racket.
Harry's heart rate slowed ever so slightly as he watched Lupin walk back in the direction of Honeydukes instead of following himself and his friends.
"He's gone," Harry whispered to Ron and Hermione who had been given strict instructions not to turn around while Remus was around, in fear of raising suspicion.
The teen watched as Hermione visibly let out a loud sigh of relief. "Thank goodness; I told you this wasn't a good idea."
"I promise I won't get you involved in this if I get caught." Harry repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.
Harry certainly felt guilty for including Hermione in his plan as he knew how much she worried; and she usually worried with good reason. But he also knew that if he didn't include Hermione, then Ron would be walking around alone, and Harry might as well just announce to the whole of Hogsmeade that he was there unsupervised.
"We've got it all under control 'Mione, don't worry." Ron smirked.
The trio browsed through all the shops, buying some sweets from Honeydukes and some dung bombs from Zonko's before Harry ran out of the pocket money he had saved up from the summer.
To avoid the heavily patrolled street, the trio decided to head to a more secluded area of Hogsmeade that overlooked the Shrieking Shack. Ron made continuous comments about how haunted the locals suggested it was, much to Harry's annoyance that he could not tell the pair that the noises were his own guardian during the full moon. They shared a quiet moment together before a sound of footsteps began from behind them.
"On a date Granger and Weasley? Sorry to interrupt." Malloy snickered.
"Shove off Malfoy."
"They'll be kissing before we know it, Goyle. - How's your father Weasley? Heard he's going to be sacked any day now."
"You don't even know what you are talking about" Hermione shot back as she took a step forward, hand resting on her wand.
"Shut it mud blood, no one asked you." Malfoy replied as he too matched the witches' steps forward.
Harry resisted the urge to pull off his cloak and punch Malfoy square in the nose, instead he picked up a small stone and threw it at the blonde-haired teen's arm.
The Slytherin spun around quickly, confusion written all over his face. Harry then picked up a second stone and threw it at Goyle, hitting his behind.
Ron could barely stifle his laughter as stones began pelting the Slytherin trio instead of running away, however Malfoy ran towards the direction of the throw and grasped forward, Harry took a step back, continuing to do so before he had been backed into a tree with no way out.
Malfoy grabbed the head of Harry's invisibility cloak and pulled it down, revealing the dark-haired teens head.
"Potter!" Malfoy exclaimed before he sprinted away, yelling at Crabbe and Goyle to follow, "we've got to tell Snape." Harry heard the Slytherin announce before Hermione gave him the motion that he needed to go too.
"We'll back you up Harry!" Ron yelled, before Hermione scolded him for yelling so loudly.
Harry charged up the path leading back to the main street of shops where his stomach sank.
Malfoy had already managed to find Snape and was very clearly telling the Professor what he had seen. However, Harry could not believe his luck as, out of all the teachers at Hogsmeade, Snape had to have been standing next to Lupin, who sported a face of anger yet worry.
Harry didn't let himself watch the scene for long as he saw this as a chance to get back to Hogwarts before his guardian did. The teen contemplated going back to the castle the usual way but realised he would not be able to get through the gates without a member of staff, foiling his plan of reaching Hogwarts before his guardian.
Harry felt his heart thumping out of his chest as he ran quicker than he ever had before down the secret passageway, to the statue of the one-eyed witch. The teen barely even recalled how he managed to get into the cellar at Hogsmeade, let alone actually checking if he was seen or not. It was the least of his worries at that moment.
He reached the end of the tunnel in record time and decided, before he emerged from behind the statue, potentially straight into the view of a professor, he would check the map to know their whereabouts.
Muttering the password softly, the map's lettering slowly disappeared to be replaced with the map of the school; two small footsteps titled 'Remus Lupin' was already nearing the library, where Harry had promised to stay a short hour previous.
Harry knew he was done for.
Realising that his only hope was to leave the cloak and the map in the passage way, the teen placed the items on the floor and headed for the teachers wing. He had no idea if his plan was going to work; but he didn't have much other choice.
Remus Lupin was ordinarily a calm man but a certain Gryffindor was pushing his redeeming quality to the absolute limit.
After reaching the library, Professor Pince has informed the man that she had not seen Harry all morning when questioned. Lupin knew that if there was one person who would not lie or be persuaded to, it was Professor Pince.
The man thanked her for answering his questions before turning on his heel and headed for the teachers wing where he intended to retrieve the Marauders Map; this time, he certainly had enough time to do so.
Remus took quick strides to their quarters and opened the door with a flick of his wand. Walking in, the man found it looking exceptionally ordinary, just how they had left it that morning.
He opened the drawer to the office desk with an unlocking charm and rummaged through, feeling confusion fall over his face when the map was nowhere to be seen. The man searched around on the desk, picking up loose papers to see if the map had fallen into a stack but found no such luck.
It was then that Remus sent out a Patronus charm to all the teaching staff; if Harry truly was at Hogsmeade, placing his life in danger from a certain prison escapee, then his teen could be anywhere by now. Especially if he took his blasted invisibility cloak.
Lupin entered the child's room, walking straight to the wardrobe where the cloak had always sat before; it was obvious that the cloak was missing as a large gap was to be seen on the top self. The man traced his eyes down the wardrobe as he realised that Harry's broom was also missing.
"This child is going to be the death of me…" Remus muttered as he hurried out of the door to their quarters and headed directly for the quidditch pitch where he was certain his child would be.
Harry covered his mouth as he hid behind a large pillar, watching his guardian walk meters by him, in the direction to their quarters, where Harry himself had just exited from. Once the teen was sure his guardian was out of sight, he sprinted down the corridor and to the quidditch pitch.
He was sure Remus was going to murder him for leaving the library but he knew it was better for his social life if he was found there than at Hogsmeade.
The teen kicked off from the ground and managed to complete a couple of laps round the pitch before his eyes were instinctively drawn to the small like figure heading towards the pitch; it was unmistakably his guardian.
Harry visibly gulped as he heard the man shout down from below.
"Harry, land that broom right now!"
The teen knew the man never, ever, shouted and he was trying to figure out whether the man was only yelling because he was so high up, or whether Lupin was genuinely that angry with him.
Harry landed the broom and walked over to the man, "I know I messed up and I -"
"I don't want to hear it." Remus cut him off, his tone thick with disappointment. Harry knew in that moment that the man only yelled at him moments ago to make sure his voice could be heard; the man was silent, almost unnervingly silent as Harry walked in front of him, Lupin followed behind.
For the first time in a long time, Remus did not know what to say to the child. There was so much that had gone wrong in such a short space of time. It seemed laughable that only a few hours ago, Remus was suggesting that the pair could head to Hogsmeade the next day.
The man hadn't given Harry any directions on where they were supposed to be heading but it didn't take a genius to work out that he should walk back to the teachers wing. With his Nimbus in hand, the teen continued to walk in front of his guardian as though it was his death march; every now and then, Harry heard the sweet bag filled with things from Honey dukes rustle in his trouser pocket as he began silently cursing himself for not leaving them in the corridor.
Lupin placed a light hand on the back of the child's neck as they neared their quarters. Harry attempted to shift against the man's grip but failed miserably.
The door swung open before they were even half of the way down the corridor, as Harry cringed slightly at the noise as the door hit the wall. The teens mind was racing with anticipation and the tiny snitches began swarming around in his stomach as the guilt took over.
Harry hated mucking up but he hated the look of disappointment in Remus's eyes more when he did something wrong. Remus did so much for him and supported him in so many aspects of his life, yet Harry had gone and messed it all up. When Harry was younger, he was sure that when Remus would put him in the corner or take away his favourite toy, it didn't have any effect on his guardian at all, but as he grew older, he began to notice how much Lupin despised being angry with his son. Yet Remus would never shy away from his parental duties; he could not fail Lily and James' son.
The pair entered through the door, into their quarters as Remus removed his hand from his son. Harry entered first as he turned around and stared at his guardian with anticipation, his head down, lowered to his shoes.
"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to answer me honestly." Remus paused as he moved to stand closer to the child, arms crossed in front of him. "Where have you been today?"
Harry brought his eyes up to the man who, to the teens' surprise, showed a look of sadness rather than anger. "The library and the quidditch pitch." Harry whispered, not even convincing himself with his response.
Lupin unfolded his arms and turned away from the child, pinching his nose. If the child was not going to admit to his mistakes on his own, then the man was going to have to try a different tactic. Along with the child's flushed cheek and sweaty composure, the man noticed the small bulge in the child's pocket of his jumper. "Empty your pockets please."
Harry stared at the man as he shook his head slowly, a tear escaping despite the boy trying to hold them back.
"Now please Harry or I will be forced to do it for you."
Harry shook his head again as further tears began to fall. "No Remus I - I don't want to."
Remus gave the tearful child one more look as he raised his eyebrows in an attempt to remain firm, when instead his heart was crumbling inside. As any parent knows, they hate to see their child ill, sad or upset, so to see Harry like this was slowly wearing him down.
As Lupin moved to take a step towards the child, Harry crumbled and slowly reached inside his pockets to retrieve a bag of gobstoppers, wrapped in a Honeydukes bag.
The man held his hand out as Harry slowly placed them in his palm. "Tell me Harry, if you were in the library and quidditch pitch all day, how did you manage to get these?"
Harry shifted uncomfortably as he began absentmindedly picking the skin around his fingers. "I don't know," the teen shrugged.
"You and I both know the answer to that." Remus bent down slightly to the teens height, "I want you to go to your room and come out when you are ready to tell me the truth. Then we can have a conversation about everything else that has happened these past few days."
Harry briefly met the man's eyes. He couldn't quite believe how the man wasn't yelling or at least more angry at him. "I'm sorry."
"The worst part is Harry, I don't believe you are." Remus took a seat in his usual chair as he lent his head back on the seat. "Now do as I've asked, unless you are ready to tell me the truth."
Harry paused for a moment after turning to face the hallway. "Can I sit out here? With you - please?"
Remus looked as the teary eyed child and felt his resolute falter slightly. "You may but I need a moment's silence to process this all."
Harry hastily took a seat on the sofa, out of the way of his guardians' reach where he sat crossed legged, his back leaning against the arm of the chair. Taking a few sniffs that had been caused from his tears moments before hand, the teen continued to take slight glances at the man whose eyes were closed, brows furrowed.
The only noise that filled the small room was the sound of the ticking clock, five minutes, ten minutes, then fifteen. The longer the pair sat there, the longer Harry felt his stomach twist.
Taking a deep breath that was slightly interrupted by the hitch in his throat, Harry plucked up the courage to whisper, "I didn't think it was going to be this big of a deal."
Remus froze in his thought as he sat up a bit straighter. "Did I not explicitly explain to you how serious this was Harry? Sightings of Black are everyday now, all over the country."
"But you even said last night that he was spotted in London yesterday afternoon, that's ages away from Hogsmeade!" Harry kicked his legs out straighter.
"And only a few days before Black was spotted in Hogsmeade Harry. The man could be anywhere, and it's only a matter of time before he ends up far closer to this school than anyone could imagine which is why it is imperative that you stuck to the rules."
"But the rules weren't fair Remus! I was the only one not allowed to go." Harry whined.
"Harry - Cub, we've been over this so many times. The point remains that to disregard everything I asked of you today and risked your life going to Hogsmeade for a few sweets and joke shop toys. I just cannot allow that to happen."
"I said I was sorry though." Harry responded feebly.
Remus crooked a finger and pointed to the space in front of his feet. Harry sighed as he liked the security of his seat on the sofa but decided it was not best to disobey the man.
"You are not sorry, so do not expect for a moment that I believe that. Furthermore, I warned you today that if you left the library that there would be consequences for your actions Harry. I told you how dangerous Black is and how important it is for you to follow the rules but can only feel as though you have continuously lied and gone against everything, I have asked of you. Not to mention your atrocious attitude these past few days."
Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"Which brings me on to my next point, how did you get out of the castle undetected? There were charms stationed on every entrance and exit."
"A passage way…" Harry spoke slowly.
"The one-eyed witch perhaps?" Remus asked, fighting to hold back the smirk when his child's face turned to one of confusion.
Harry nodded. "How do you know about that?"
"Because I was a student here once too; the question is, how did you know about it Harry?"
Remus knew the answer to his own question, the second he saw that the map was missing from his desk draw. "I happen to think that Professor Snape was not lying when he informed me that you were rummaging around my office like a voulcher the other day hmm?"
Harry shook his head once more, unable to get his words out.
"Where is the map right now?"
"In the passageway still."
"Was that the first time you've used it to leave the school grounds?" Remus asked and when he saw the teen shift uncomfortably with a face blushing, the man knew his answer. "Did you go looking for Sirius Black?"
Harry's head snapped up, "no! I told you I wouldn't do that."
"Your words to me are hard to trust at the moment Harry with this constant lying. You are going to have to work hard to build this trust back up." Remus moved forward and clasped his hands over his knees, "where and when did you go?"
"I went to Hogsmeade three days ago." Harry spoke as quietly as he could.
By now, Remus was unable to express the disappointment and even slight anger at the child's complete disregard to his life, "You went to Hogsmeade, despite sightings of Sirius Black there, without an adult present and without your wand."
Harry felt his shoulders sink. He just wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He was in so much trouble and he was positive that there was no getting out of it.
"You lost your wand three days ago did you not?"
"Yes…"
"So, you are admitting that you went to Hogsmeade without your wand, correct?" Remus's voice sounded tired by this point; the man was past annoyed now.
Harry gives the smallest of nods.
"Go to your room Harry. I'll join you in a moment."
"Remus - please I,"
"Go Harry."
The man watched as the teen turned on his heel and ran into his room. When he heard the door click shut, he leant back on his arm chair and took the deepest of breaths before running his fingers down his face.
The teen had stolen the map from him, risked his life numerous times, repeatedly lied to him and broken school rules by leaving the grounds unattended the man kept reminding himself but he absolutely loathed being in this position. Lupin knew what Harry had been warned with but every time he was in this position, he despised going through with it.
He sat with his hands clasped over his knees for what felt like an eternity, but in actuality was only a matter of a few minutes, the clock ticking loudly in the provided him with his only company.
Every time Remus found himself in this position, he had opened it would be the last; a foolish hope at best as children will be children and Harry was James' son after all.
Remus knew without a shadow of a doubt that Harry's knack for trouble came from that of his father and he also knew that if himself and his friends had gotten caught doing even half of the things they did during their school years, they would have ended up spending half of their lives in detention; not to mention when their parents found out.
Leaning back slightly in his beloved arm chair, the man flicked his wand and lit the fire that was in front of him as the slight chill of winter had been whipping around the castle in the past few days.
Remus's thoughts quickly turned to his ward who was likely sitting in his room, dreading his fate. Harry likely knew what this fate was but would naturally attempt to worm his way out of it, just as he always had done.
Feeling a small sense of nostalgia, the man remembered back to his days as a student at Hogwarts; more specifically, keeping an eye on his friends at Hogwarts. Effectively acting as their second parent, avoiding them getting into serious trouble for the most part. It was who Remus was a rule sickler and firm in his beliefs; something that came in handy when looking after a child as troublesome as Harry.
Remus knew what needed to be done.
Taking the deepest of breaths, the man stood from his spot in the armchair; Harry had been waiting long enough.
Harry brushed the few tears that had fallen away quickly as he heard the man's footsteps approach his door. The tiny snitches were swarming around his stomach creating a feeling of nausea that he despised.
He heard the man knock lightly twice, for whatever reason Harry wasn't sure. It was only them in the small quarters, but the teen rationalised that it was the thought that counted.
The door creaked open as Harry saw the man display a look of disappointment, yet sadness as his eyebrows furrowed deeper. The child observed Lupin from his position on his side, laying to face the door. Remus pulled out the desk chair from underneath, and placed it in front of the bed that Harry was laying on.
The child's eyes were red and puffy but no more so than a few moments previous in the living room; yet it was still clear that he had been crying.
"Could you sit up for me please." Lupin's voice was firm and unwavering as he clasped his hands in front of his lap, elbows resting on either knee.
Harry pushed himself up as he reached for his glasses that had been discarded to his bedside table, placing them back onto his face.
He eyed the man's face carefully but found it, for the most part, unreadable. It felt like the biggest punch in the gut to know the man was disappointed, let alone put him in this position with so much to discuss.
"Do you understand why I am so disappointed in your behaviour these past few weeks?" Remus asked, hoping the teen would display some kind of remorse or even offer a sincere apology.
Harry nodded as he felt his throat tighten slightly. He wasn't sure what was worse, the man shouting or having him be disappointed.
"A verbal answer please." Lupin replied with a trace of sternness in his voice.
"Yeah - I know why." the teen spoke, eyes downcast into his lap as he pulled his legs up. The snitches were still swarming around in his stomach relentlessly.
"Then you will also understand that I can't just let this go with a simple grounding, correct?"
The man had Harry's full attention now as his eyes darted up to meet his guardian's. If Harry was honest with himself, he was sure of what his fate would have been before he even got caught. It wasn't a shock but more of an unwelcome realisation.
"But I never meant for any of this to happen Remus!" Harry protested quietly as he began chewing on the inside of his cheek. "You've got to believe me."
"I believe that you did not set out with the intent to disappoint me -" the man paused to think carefully over his words. He could tell by his teens face he was close to crying and Remus could hardly bare when that happened. "I do however know, you knew you were breaking my rules, and school rules not to mention, by leaving the castle, unattended with a killer on the loose. "
Harry noted a change in the man's tone as he blinked harshly at it.
"I am also incredibly upset that I cannot trust you to tell me the truth when I ask, nor can I trust that you will not go through my possessions during full moons."
Of course, Remus wouldn't forget about that.
There was no excuse that could give that would excuse any of this. He knew it as well. So much had gone wrong for him, so quickly. The lying, sneaking out, stealing as Remus liked to refer to it; Harry couldn't believe he had let it all stack up to so much.
He was already as good as sentenced. "I just got so fed up of all the rules and restrictions - I know it's not an excuse but it's the truth." a small tear escaped as the child rushed to brush it away.
"I understand that Harry, really I do." Remus felt his frown relax slightly, leaning back on his chair. "But, as you said, it is not an excuse. I remember quite clearly offering to take you to Hogsmeade tomorrow as an alternative. I'm doing everything in my power to keep you safe but this continuous gambling of your safety is making my job exceedingly more difficult." the man paused, "I need to regain your attention, not to mention repairing the trust between us that has been broken."
"You have my attention, I swear. I won't do any of that stuff again." the teen responded with a heavy sniff as water welled up in his eyes.
"I'm afraid I don't Harry; you and I both know that." Remus gestured for the child to come and stand in front of his legs on the armless chair.
Harry finally allowed the flood gates to open as he firmly shook his head at the man's non-verbal request.
Remus felt his heart tug slightly at the sight of the child. It was a sight he was familiar with, particularly as a young boy. Harry never took his punishments on the chin, attempting to stall or shed a tear before it had even begun. But he did not usually cry quite this much and this particularly concerned Remus.
Standing up, the man tucked the chair back underneath the desk and took a seat on the bed; a position that felt much more natural.
"Let's talk about this some more." the man spoke as he allowed Harry to shuffle up so that the child's head leant on his shoulder. "What could you have done differently these past few weeks to have avoided the trouble you are in now?"
"Not gone to Hogsmeade - and, told you about the map?" Harry sniffed.
Remus nodded, despite the high chance that the child could not see, "I think the main problem here was a shift in trust and quite the disregard for your own safety. - did I not make it clear enough; the threat Sirius Black poses to you - to everyone?"
"You did." a soft reply came. Harry swallowed harshly as he felt his heart rate quicken at the mention of the man's name. He had forgotten Remus did not know that Harry had found out the man's true relationship to him.
In many ways Remus was lying to him, just as Harry had lied. Although even he renationalised that the lies were for very different reasons.
"Then why Harry?" Remus asked in an exasperated tone, "why risk going to Hogsmeade for a few sweets? Do you have any idea how worried I was when I couldn't find you in the library? I had multiple teaching staff out looking for you. "
Harry was completely over arguing about it all as the tears began to flow steadily once more; all he wanted was to be forgiven and move on, "I'm sorry Remus."
"I know cub." the man responded as he was sure it was the complete wrong thing to say. "But I need to make sure of that." the man motioned for the child to stand.
"Remus - please." Harry responded between tears at such a motion, rubbing them away with his sleeve.
"Come on Harry, let's get this over with." By now, the man's tone was tired as he attempted to conceal the utter mess that was swirling around his head. "You know the consequences that doing something as foolish as this brings; this shouldn't be a surprise."
Harry scooted back so that his back rested on the headboard, just out of reach from his guardian. "I could be grounded." Harry mumbled at a feeble attempt to delay the inevitable but to his surprise the man's response was not an instant refusal.
Remus considered the child's words carefully. He was correct, he could be grounded, yet that hadn't worked in the past to deter the behaviour. In the same breath however, there was nothing Lupin wanted more in the world than to not have to punish the teen. "Maybe a choice?"
Harry snapped his head up in surprise for the second time that day as he bore into his guardians every word.
"Either you can be grounded for the next week in these quarters and forgo the Halloween feast and Quidditch match or, you can go over my knee and spend the rest of the weekend down here in your room."
Harry's heart sunk as he instantly knew his answer. "I can't miss the Quidditch game, they need me."
"Then you choose the second choice?" Remus replied as he too felt his heart sink slightly. But the severity had to meet the crime.
"Why can't I just be grounded for a week and that's it?"
"Because I've done that before Harry and you still ventured to Hogsmeade a mere three days later, albeit this time with your wand."
"I'm too old to be punished like that." Harry replied as a very last gasp attempt as his tears stopped. He was quickly running out of time and options.
"I am certain that you are not. I was punished like this when I was far older than you. I am also sure that your parents would have handled this just the way I am going to, as their parents would have also." Remus shifted his position on the bed, deciding against sitting on the chair once more. "Come on, stand up please, let's get this over and done with." Lupin asked softly as his nerve began to feel ever fainter.
Harry stayed put for a second longer; only reluctantly moving to stand when Remus raised his eyebrows at the teens lack of compliance.
"Glasses," Remus held his hand out to take. Harry slipped them off; the stuffiness in his nose was becoming ever more uncomfortable with the length of time that had passed since the beginning of his tears.
Remus took the child's hand as he attempted to tip him over his knees. Harry dug his heels into the floor, refusing to allow himself to be guided.
Lupin thought there was something else the teen wanted to say.
"What is it, Cub?"
Harry debated telling the man all he knew about Sirius Black but he refrained. He was already in so much trouble and he hardly wanted to add to it. "Nothing", he mumbled, taking a step backwards yet again.
"We will get this over quickly and put this behind us, or I can wait until you are ready. But if you want this feeling of guilt to go…" Remus gave his son a knowing look; Harry always felt guilty when his misbehaved and his stomach usually paid the price, "then we should probably get this over with."
Lupin spoke in such a way that Harry felt everything would be alright. He was as good as cornered and the only way the conflict in between them was going to end, would be to accept the consequences. Despite how much Harry hated it.
The teen nodded, biting his lip, at the man's words and felt the final remaining defiance vanish, finally allowing himself to be guided over the man's knees. In an attempt to steady himself, he reached to place his arms on the floor.
Lupin tightened his left arm around the child's middle and rolled up his right arms sleeve, he raised his right hand in the air, bringing it down forcefully but not too harshly on the teen's jean clad backside.
Harry shut his eyes tightly at the first swat as more followed in swift succession. If he was honest, he had forgotten how much the man's hand could sting. It had been months since he had done something so stupid, so dangerous to earn a spanking. Harry had lost count by the sixth swat as he focused on the sting as well as his nose that felt like he had been flipped underwater.
Remus continued to lay down swats, harder than he had been in the past as the threat of Sirius Black was not something he wanted to cover again any time soon. The man intended to go by Harry's reaction as to when the child had had enough.
Around thirty seconds later Harry let out his first audible sign of discomfort as he hissed a swat on his sit spot. His legs began to kick slightly at each impact.
"I'm sorry, Remus - please!" Harry whined as the man did not relent.
"I know you are Cub, but I need to know that this time you will follow the rules I give." The man punctuated with a number of swats, "Sirius Black is not a threat to be taken lightly, it's time you took my words seriously."
"I know," Harry choked leaving his words hanging in the air.
Remus began focusing on the teens' sit spots to fully get the message across.
"Please - stop !" Harry whined; his nose now completely blocked from his tears. His hand pushed on the man's leg lightly.
Lupin lay slower but slighter harder swats as he neared the child's limit, "I need you to promise me that the lying, sneaking around and risking your safety will end here."
"Yes! I swear!" Harry cried, nearing ever closer the sobs.
"As will the attitude and stealing, understand?"
"I promise." Harry let out weekly, as all his mind concentrated on was the sting in his behind.
"I hope so Harry because I do not want to repeat this; but I certainly will if needed."
Remus lay down four more until he heard the first cleansing sob release from the small teen; in that moment, he knew the child had had enough.
"It's over." Lupin offered softly as he released the child's waist from the grip of his left arm, offering light but warming taps to his back. "Merlin Cub, I hated doing that."
The man's tone was one of sadness with a hint of relief as the dreaded task was finally done with. Harry continued to sob deeply despite his punishment being over and released from the man's hold.
"Come on," Remus offered softly as he lifted the teens small frame to a standing position, wrapping his arms around his waist to hug him; hoping Harry would return the offering and wrap his arms around the man's neck.
When this did not come; Remus felt what could only be described as fear. He had been too hard on the boy. He was sure Harry didn't want to even look at him.
"Harry?" Remus asked, leaving the question unspoken, as he unwrapped his arms from Harry's middle.
The teen continued to cry, deeply as he knelt on his bed and lay onto his stomach, turning his head away from the man's gaze.
Lupin felt the tears in his own eyes at the teen's actions. "What is it Cub?"
The man silently hoped the teen was sulking; a perfectly normal reaction for a child his age to have.
Harry took a deep breath in an attempt to steady his voice, he had to tell the man. He only prayed it didn't get him into more trouble but in the same breath he knew the man was done.
"I kn- know about -" Harry paused mid-sentence as he struggled through his tears.
"You can tell me Harry; whatever it is, I promise you are not in danger of further consequences."
Remus was unsure if it was even the worry of being in more trouble or whether it was something else that was stopping the child but the man knew he needed to reassure his completely inconsolable teenager.
Harry took a few deep breaths to get his tears until control.
"I know about Sirius Black," Harry admitted as he sat up with a wince; his hair sticking out of all directions, "that he was my godfather - and you knew him - I saw the photo, and heard you talking to Dumbledore."
Lupin felt himself release a breath of relief that he didn't know he was holding. He could deal with the conflict that might have come with funding out about Sirius but he just knew it would kill him inside of Harry thought he had been too harsh on him despite him not believing it himself.
Of course, the child had known; there was photos in his desk drawer, not to mention the fact that the child was at Hogsmeade the same day he had gone with Dumbledore.
"Oh Harry, come here," Remus replied with a light hearted chuckle despite not exactly feeling happy in that moment.
This time Harry moved over on his knees and allowed himself to be hugged in a sideways motion by the man; Harry returned the hug, as Remus placed a light kiss and then his chin on top of the teens head. Thankfully the child's tears had subsided quite dramatically by now; yet Remus's shoulder was still serving as quite the handkerchief.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Remus asked as neither moved from their position.
"I couldn't tell you how I found out." Harry mumbled through his breath that although still slightly shaky was returning back to normal.
The man silently nodded as a reply. Of course.
Harry was the first to release the hug as Lupin followed soon after. Resting on the side of his hip, Harry lent his head on the man's shoulder, a similar position to previously that day.
This time it was Harry's turn to ask the questions, "why didn't you tell me about him? That he knew my parents and you; all this time you've told me stories about my dad but you've never mentioned Sirius?"
"It's complicated." Remus admitted. "When you parents died, I struggled for a number of years to come to terms with it all. Talking about Lily and James was difficult and talking about Sirius's betrayal was even more so. As for not telling you about him now, I didn't want that to be a reason for you to go looking for him. Once you knew of our relationship, it would have given you a motive."
"Oh," Harry replied lightly, before sniffing. "I wouldn't do that though; you'd have to be pretty stupid to think that would be okay."
"Well - I would also say that someone would have to be pretty foolish to go to Hogsmeade without their wand or lie about their whereabouts to an adult." Remus let the unspoken words sink in, as Harry realised the man had a point.
He knew how unpredictable he could be at times; therefore, he found it hard to blame the man for not telling him.
"I wish you'd just told me."
"But can you see why I didn't?" Lupin replied as Harry lifted his head from the man's shoulder, to sitting up straight rather than on his hip, reaching for his glasses and placing them back on. If the man noticed the small wince from the child, he did not comment on it.
"Yeah; I guess."
"I could tell you a bit about your father, myself, Peter and Sirius if you want, tomorrow?"
"I'd like that," Harry replied as he attempted to sniff, but with little success.
"Let me get you something for your eyes and nose, I'm sure it's well past blocked from all those tears."
Harry felt his face blush slightly at the remainder of his crying. It wasn't something he should be embarrassed about but his ego was certainly tarnished slightly at the events of the day.
"I'll be right back."
Harry watched as the man exited the room, leaving him alone for a few minutes; enough to reflect on the absolute shambles that the day had turned out to be.
The teen remembered the man's words about staying down here for the remainder of the weekend and Harry couldn't honestly say he was to upset about it; it allowed him time to think of something to say to Ron and Hermione about what his Guardian had said, or more importantly, done.
Remus was back swiftly, a few tissues and a couple of vials in hand that looked less than pleasant. Taking a seat next to the child on his bed
"This one," Lupin held out a vial of green contents up, "helps to unblock your nose, you just have to put a few drops in a tissue and hold it under. A muggle remedy actually."
Harry crossed his legs under each other as he was still unable to hold back the slight wince. He took the vial that Remus held and placed a couple of drops as instructed. Holding it under his nose, the teen instantly felt the relief of his blocked airways becoming free again.
"And this will stop your eyes feeling so puffy and itchy." Remus passed the vial containing a purple looking mixture to the teen who swallowed the contents quickly. Once again, feeling the instant release in his eyes that were no longer feeling like they were going to burn off his face.
"My father gave both vials to me when I found myself in your position; many times, in my youth. I found them to be very helpful actually."
"They helped a lot, thanks." Harry mumbled in thought, "Did you four get into trouble a lot then?"
Harry had heard of Remus's school days and stories with his dad but Harry was sure there would be more stories to listen to, know that Harry knew of Sirius's relationship with Remus and James.
"Did we?" He chuckled. "Let's say we all spent many a weekend in detention with Professor McGonagall, or Minnie as your father liked to call her."
Harry smirked slightly at the new revelation that they called his head of house 'Minnie'.
"Your father and – Sirius" Remus forced the name out, "usually got in far more trouble than I did. I'll have to share some stories of us all, now that you know about Sirius."
Harry rather abruptly realised that Remus was the last remaining member of his Hogwarts friendship group; well, Sirius was still alive but he was not exactly reachable at this current time. Harry had witnessed Remus crying over a photo of James and Lily before, or when he played their favourite tape on the record player but for the most part Harry had never asked this particular question.
"Do you think of them all often? Do you miss them?" Harry asked, shifting on his bed. His bottom was not particularly comfortable but he was far too interested in the conversation to ask if they could move elsewhere.
"Of course. But we had some lovely memories too. One of which was making that beloved map that found its way to your possession." Lupin raised his eyebrows as a mock scolding; the lightest it could be.
Harry blushed lightly again at the remainder. "You made that?"
"I can't take all the credit but, yes; for the most part I helped in its creation. We spent so much time exploring the castle and grounds to get it perfect; probably too much at times"
Harry smirked at the man.
"Is the map and cloak still in the passageway too?"
"Yeah."
"I'll send Nipa along to retrieve them in a bit."
"Can't we go and get it later?" Harry asked curiously. In truth, he knew what the man's response would be.
"I believe a certain someone is grounded for the rest of the weekend." The man replied as he shifted slightly on the teens bed, a movement that was clear he was going to stand up again soon.
Lupin eyed the clock that sat in his child's bedside table as he noted it was nearing dinner time.
"How about you jump in the shower, or a bath even, while I get some dinner cooked for us?"
"But I don't need a sh -"
Remus cut the teen off by holding his finger up to his mouth. "Take a look at your hair and then come and tell me you don't need a shower," the man chuckled quietly, "go on."
With a light tap on the top of his arm, Harry moved towards the bathroom across the hallway as Remus tapped his wand, causing a fresh pair of pyjama bottoms to appear on top of the linen basket in there.
Harry smiled softly at the gesture; it was his favourite tartan pyjamas that had a warm fluff on the inside, something that he had happened to mention to the man a few times previous.
The teen closed the door and locked it for no other reason other than habit, as he turned the hot water on and began to undress.
Jumping in the shower, the teen was quick shampooing his hair along with dropping the bar of soap by accident causing a light cuss word to slip out; earning a light scolding from Remus for, with the kitchen being only the other side of the wall.
Dinner was a quiet affair; Harry was ever so slightly quieter than he usually was while eating but nothing that alarmed Remus too much.
Harry still felt a little cautious around the man; for whatever reason he felt that there was something left unresolved. Harry offered to wash up their plates which Remus gratefully declined as he sorted it with a flick of his wand as they moved to the living room, adjacent to the kitchen. A mug of hot chocolate in both of their hands. Remus reluctantly put some whipped cream and marshmallows on Harry's.
Harry took a seat on the sofa, Lupin in his armchair. As he picked up his book about the Patronus charm that he had been reading, hoping it might contain some tips on helping his teen master the spell.
"Remus?" Harry asked softly.
"Hmm?" The man responded as he finished his sentence in the book before meeting his child's eye.
"I really am sorry about today; you know that, right?"
The man placed his book down on the table next to his mug which stood up top of its coaster.
"Yes, of course. What makes you think I don't?" Remus asked curiously.
"I - I don't know really. I just feel like… like there's something wrong still."
The man nodded in understanding. "You've been honest in telling me everything that has gone wrong these past few weeks, yes?"
"Yeah; I told you everything." And that was the utmost truth. Harry couldn't think of a single other thing that he hadn't told the man about.
"Then we are in each other's good books. I can't think of any other reason Cub."
"Did you really mean it when you said you didn't trust me?" Harry mumbled as he picked at his thumb. He knew he was in no danger for letting any tears fall this time, he was sure he'd done enough crying that day for an entire month.
"Come sit with me" Remus replied as he held his arms open. He had hugged the child more times today than he was sure he ever had but he couldn't find himself caring too much.
Harry accepted as he moved over to the chair and sat in the arm, leaning into the man's chest.
"I hope you can understand that, with all that's happened just lately, it's very hard for me to trust you, at the moment. But that's certainly not to say that that trust cannot be repaired. I'm more than certain that it can."
Harry nodded.
"But to do so, I want - no, need, you to swear to me that the lying about your whereabouts, stealing my personal items and placing your safety at risk ends today. That would be the absolute best thing you can do in order to gain my trust back, okay?"
"Uh-huh." Harry answered the man lightly.
"Then for now that's all we can do. We will work through this together like I said earlier but for now mister, you and I are going to spend some quality time in your room, before I let you back to the dorm on Monday."
"Yay," Harry replied in a sarcastic yet evidently jokey tone. He moved from the arm of the chair to the sofa once more as he took a sip of his hot chocolate that the man had made for him.
"I also received a delightful letter from Professor McGonagall while you were showering. She'd like to see you before classes on Monday morning."
Harry let out a noise that could only be described as a whine. "Could you just…" he let the rest speak for itself.
"And spare you the delights of Minnies wrath? Absolutely not." Remus smirked at the child, "mind you, don't let her hear me calling her that; she'll be most displeased."
"I'll try and not let it slip." Harry responded cheekily,
"See to it that you don't." Remus warned warmly as he picked up his patronus charm book again. "Why don't you bring some of your homework out here and work on while I read. That way you can ask me if you need any help."
"Sure," the teen replied as padded down the hall, retrieving his backpack that contained the resources needed.
Retaking his seat on the sofa, Harry began flicking through his transfiguration essay that he had already completed half of. The teen knew if he was in the common room, Hermione would have been helping himself and Ron with such an essay but for whatever reason, Harry decided it felt nice to complete something on his own for once. Not all the time; but just this once.
The two worked silently with the occasional flick of a page or scribble of a quill for over an hour or so. Harry stole the occasional glance at his guardian whose expression, where previously displayed that of sadness and disappointment, had returned much more neutral and warmer. Something Harry found himself grateful for.
The clock ticked on until there was a quiet chime as the hand hit the o'clock. Nine o'clock; the usual time Harry would be sitting down in the common room to start last minute homework.
"I think it's time for you to start getting ready for bed." Remus spoke after clearing his throat that had become slightly clogged from the lack of speech.
Harry glanced at the clock and back to his guardian. Surely not this early, especially not on a Saturday night?
"I'm aware of the time Harry," Remus responded with a touch of amusement at his child's expression. "This time, being on restriction brings an earlier bedtime I'm afraid."
"Okay," Harry spoke softly back, with little protest, folding over the tip of the page in the book that he was reading to make sure he could pick it up in the morning. He left the book and parchment on the small coffee table centred in the living room before standing up and padding down the corridor; Remus following a step behind his strides.
Harry wasted no time cleaning his teeth and washing his face as his guardian stood watch, leaning on his right side in the doorway. Wiping the excess water on his face with the hand towel, Harry turned his attention to his bedroom, walking in and pulling back his covers as he slipped under the duvet, wiggling his toes until they reached the end.
Lupin flicked his wand, causing the small light positioned next to his bed to light with a warm yellow glow, just enough to partially light up the room. He tucked the covers around Harry, before lightly ruffling the boy's hair. He knew the child was likely embarrassed by such actions but with all the tension from the day, the man wanted to show the child just how much he was loved. Words were one thing, actions spoke volumes.
"Goodnight Cub." The man spoke quietly.
"Night," came the reply as the teen shifted to lay on his left arm, facing the man. "Love you."
"I love you too," Remus replied, smiling warmly at the teen. Flicking the light off with a tap of his wand, he walked towards the doorway, illuminated by the fire that continued to burn in the living room, albeit weakly by now.
"See you in the morning,"