Hermione found that she no longer preferred her mornings in solitude. Did it make her pathetic? The desire to be held. Was this the way life was supposed to be, or did she just happened to luck by Draco's need to have something to hold onto.

Need. That must be the line. Between reliance and enjoyment. They were indulging in each other, not obligated to one another. The time would come, and she would leave. She would grow old and look back at her younger self during the war and be glad to have had little flickers of light along the way. Small seasons of joy that had reminded her that the world was still worth saving. Learning and practicing magic with her friends at school. Bill and Fleur's wedding. Nights spent with Harry and Ron laughing and talking by the fire. The end of summer surrounded by love at the Burrow.

Her nineteenth birthday, waking up with Draco's arms wrapped around her.

This flicker of light burned a little brighter. It was one she found all on her own.

Hermione turned in his arms to face him, tucking one arm to her chest and wrapping the other around him. He tightened his hold on her in response and nuzzled his face further into her hair. She could hear his heartbeat and felt the rise and fall of his chest against her cheek as he took sleepy breaths. She fought to stay awake, not wanting to miss a second of it.

"Good morning, birthday girl," he whispered, voice still thick with sleep.

She stilled her fingers, not realizing she had been tracing them along his back. He used a knuckle under her chin to lift her head up and kissed her soundly. He splayed her hand on her cheek and then through her hair as he pulled them closer together. She would have lost herself in it completely if she wasn't acutely aware she hadn't got a chance to sneak away and brush her teeth.

"I have morning breath," she protested.

"You taste amazing," he relented as she feebly pushed herself away.

He pecked her one more time on the nose before rolling to lie flat on his back and Hermione sat up with her back against the headboard.

"What time do you have to report?" She asked nervously. Draco looked like he couldn't be less bothered, rubbing the lines from sleep that were still apparent on her arm.

"Goyle's got it covered for me. I won't be needed until the ceremony tonight." Hermione smiled largely down at him. "He's not too thrilled I'm bunking off to have secret trysts."

"I can't say that I am either. Who is she this time?"

Malfoy tsked at her, displeased, and pinched her leg before laying his head on her lap. "Rude girls don't get presents, young lady."

He was facing away so she couldn't see his eyes, but his breathing made it seem like her fondling his hair was lulling him back to sleep.

A POP signaled Neddy's arrival and Draco tightened his grip around her.

"Happy Birthday, mistress Hermione!" Neddy said cheerfully. "Neddy will leave breakfast in the study with a gift for mistress."

Hermione jumped out of bed at the statement and Draco's arms flailed to attempt to grab her. She took the flat box from Neddy's outstretched hand and sat on the couch, signaling her to sit beside her. "I love it, thank you!"

"You haven't even opened it," Draco called from the bed, now propped against the headboard.

Hermione took the lid off the box and pulled out an old piece of parchment that was noticeably worn on the edges. Written on it was a list of random potion ingredients. Confused, she turned the paper over, and the contents on it took her breath away.

"Master said mistress was friends with Dobby," The elf said self-consciously. "Dobby was- well- elves don't learn arts, Mistress. But those are his ears, erm – there! His eyes are almost the same size."

Hermione's tears started to fall, and she held the paper up to not destroy it. She recognized the terrible technique immediately. She remembered when Dobby presented Harry with a portrait of him one Christmas. She scolded him multiple times for critiquing the elves' work too harshly.

"Neddy this is… Dobby painted this of himself?" She asked, still not able to believe her eyes. "This is the most precious gift anyone has ever given me. I don't know how I could ever thank you."

Dobby had been abused horribly by Lucius when he was enslaved to him. She loved to think that he was able to find joy in painting, and friendship with Neddy, during the time in his life he had spent here.

"Did you know Dobby saved my life? The first time I was brought here?" Hermione said. "And then you saved me. I hope one day the world gets to see how brave you are."

Neddy shrugged bashfully.

"Technically it was a team effect," Draco said and Hermione saw the smile he tried to sneak to Neddy without her noticing. Hermione thanked her about a hundred times before finally letting her leave to complete the rest of her chores.

"Here, give me that. I'll set it here until I can get you a proper frame." He said, propping it up on the mantel. "This painting is truly dreadful, Granger."

Hermione couldn't help the laughter that took over her. Harry had said the exact same words on that Christmas evening so long ago. It felt like it was meant to be, considering Dobby always gratefully took her poorly knitted items.

"It's awful. I just love it so much."

"Alright, we've wasted enough time. Time to eat breakfast and then get dressed in your riding clothes. I have an eventful morning planned for us and it's not even eight and I've been outshone by my elf."

Hermione got even more excited as she walked into the study to eat breakfast while Draco readied for the day. She thought he was going to give her some extraordinarily expensive item she knew she could never repay him for. A day spent with him, flying and exploring the grounds sounded perfect.

Hermione was wrong. Draco had to remind her that he was very, very rich before she was willing to accept his gift.

A third Abraxan horse stood in a separate stall in the barn. Its golden coat made the shine of the silver main and tail even brighter. Draco walked her over to the mare and Hermione tentatively reached out to brush her.

"What's her name?" She asked excitedly.

"You tell me." Draco answered..

"How did you name the others?" She asked after coming up with nothing.

"My mother named them." Draco stopped his movements, and then looked up at her for a moment with a sad smile before returning to his work. "She chose them after late women in the black family. Cassiopeia was her great aunt and Elladora was her great-great-great grandmother." Hermione loved Draco sharing memories about his mother, even though it was rare.

"I'd like to call her Nymphadora, then." She said after considering for a moment.

He eventually smiled and tilted his head. "It's perfect. A bit ironic, but so was a member of the black family becoming an auror."

Hermione couldn't agree more. Tonks was nothing like the other members of the Black family. Even Sirius had a certain proclivity for rule breaking. Enough to get himself disinherited and burned off the family tapestry. Lucius would probably do the same to Draco if he saw the company he was currently keeping.

"She and Remus had a son. I never got to meet him."

"I'm sure you will one day." He said shortly. "He's perfectly cared for Granger, no need to go on worrying yourself." The finality in his voice made her hesitate to question him further. But there was another part of her gift that was worrying her.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing her thoughtful expression.

"It's just, I don't know how I will keep her. Once I have to…" As much as she loved her already, it was hard to face she was just another thing she will need to leave behind.

"Ah, don't worry about that," he said dismissively, waving his hand.

"Malfoy, I've no place to keep her-"

"That's boring. I'll handle it. Let's just enjoy today while we can." Hermione easily caved, smiling as she stroked the horses' mane from her seat. She already felt the connection between them as Nymphadora turned into her magic.

"I love her." Sincerity dripped from her every word. "I'll never be able to repay you." He caught her eye and for a moment it seemed like something imperative passed between them, but then she blinked and Malfoy mounted his broom and they took off.

They spent the rest of the morning flying. The other two horses joined them in the air for a while, but they landed far off in the distance somewhere she was sure she wouldn't be able to reach. The trees were so thick on the ground that Hermione lost sight of them almost immediately. On their way back to the barn, they kept flying until they were out of eyesight, no doubt traveling far beyond the wards.

"I thought you said the horses can't cross without an allowable rider?" She asked, an idea coming to her. They were having a late lunch on the balcony before Draco had to head to Hogwarts.

"They can't cross with an unallowable rider. Animals can travel freely past the wards. Otherwise, birds or squirrels would set them off every other moment."

"Like the ones at Azkaban?" She asked excitedly and Malfoy stiffened.

"Why are you asking about that?" He questioned abruptly.

"Do you remember when Sirius escaped Azkaban? He was an unregistered animagus." She was on a tirade, but Draco was still looking at her warily. "Don't you see? If I could master transfiguration, I could probably do the same. No offense to your ancestors, but I doubt the wards would be more sophisticated here than a wizard prison!" She beamed, finally figuring out an alternative to just sitting around and waiting for Lucius.

"I expect I'm to participant as well?" He conceded.

"Things aren't nearly as fun when I have to do them all alone," she cooed sweetly.

Draco raised an eyebrow and smirked, willfully misunderstanding her meaning. "Granger, I very much prefer you never do anything fun without me."

"You know that's not what I meant," she lightly complained, and in the next few moments Draco had her pinned to the bed beneath him.

They went from sitting outside and planning her escape to fumbling their way through the door and onto his bed in a manner of seconds. It was all so easy: talking, playing, touching. Hermione loved rolling around with him more than she would ever admit to someone.

"Keep your hands here," he instructed as he removed his from her wrists on either side of her head to trail down her body. The hardest part about being with Draco was her insecurity. Her inexperience. Never knowing the right things to say, or the next thing to do. It both excited and eased her when Draco gave her clear directions to follow.

He sat astride her, taking a break from kissing her lips and neck to unbutton her jacket. She was already panting, and her white undershirt did little to hide the shape of her body once Draco pushed the jacket away. He wrapped his arm around her middle, and she felt completely at his mercy while he lifted her up to remove it.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back down on top of her. She could do this forever. Leave the complicated and cruel world behind and lose herself in what was so lovely and simple.

His movements became more insistent, and she relished in the fact that he was submitting himself to her in return. When he reached to undo the button on her trousers she stopped him, daring to try something new. His face was aroused and confused when he met her eyes to see what was wrong and she had to claim his mouth again. No one had ever looked so beautiful. As he sucked her lower lip between his teeth, she moved her hands down to undo the buttons on his trousers instead.

He dropped his head to her neck, giving her light kisses but undoubtedly focused on where her hands were and what they were doing. She trailed her fingers around the top of his pants, waiting for permission to go further.

He propped himself up on one elbow and used his free hand to trace his fingers over her lips.

"What are you doing?" his voice was trembling. She could hardly think straight, her heart was beating so fast, but she knew she was going to have to ask him if he would let her. Maybe he would even tell her how much he wanted her.

"We haven't ever- Will you…" The words didn't come out. She was too embarrassed.

He looked at her in complete shock and asked her in disbelief.

"You want me to fuck you?"

"No!" She yelled. Too loudly. Too quickly. He dropped his head back on her shoulder.

"Evil…" Draco muttered against her skin, and she giggled. The tension cracked completely when she could feel him shaking with laughter too. He looked up to watch the last of her laughs fade away "That was mean."

"I'm sorry," she said, lifting her head to kiss his pouting lips. "I didn't mean that. I meant this. Just…"

She slowly pushed her hand past the band of his pants. Draco took a sharp inhale of breath as her hand touched his hardness unobstructed for the first time.

"Oh." The word was barely more than a moan.

He leaned slightly to the side so he could look down and see where her hand disappeared in his trousers. He was impossibly hard, his skin hot and smooth, and Hermione was surprised that the tip of him was pulled up towards his waistband. Shouldn't it be hanging down? Isn't that how gravity worked? It was facing down the time she walked in on him in the shower. Her mind started to race. Oh my god. She really had no idea what she was doing.

Hermione moved her hand against him again, caressing his length. She would have completely started spiraling if Draco didn't make the most disarming sigh she had ever heard. He watched her arm move as she continued to brush against him and then he leaned to press his mouth against hers.

"Grab me, Hermione," he spoke against her lips, using the same assured voice she enjoyed so much. Only this time, it was laced with desperation. It made her love it even more. To hear the desire in his voice and to know she is the one who put it there. She adjusted her hand so she could wrap her fingers around him.

He elicited a groan that was so lovely she was sure it had wrecked her for anyone else. His sounds, his breathing. It was making her ache for his touch, and not a moment later he slid his hand up her shirt to cup her breast and she broke away from his mouth to gasp for air herself.

He was lost in her then. He attached his mouth to her neck, sucking and biting in a way that was sure to leave a mark. He moved his hips to help her as she pumped him with her hand. When he rolled her nipple between his fingers she whimpered and was nearly undone before they really even started.

He thrusted his hips sharply a couple more times before he stilled. She could tell he was trying to suppress his groans and she wished he hadn't. She wanted to hear any noise he was making because of her.

Draco was still panting against her neck, trying to catch his breath when she felt the warmth drip from him coating her fingers. He hadn't moved since he finished, so she felt it was alright that she hadn't either. She wanted him to say something. Albeit preferably something that would let her know she did at least okay.

"That's it," he finally whispered in her ear, "I'm never letting you go now."

Hermione chuckled in relief. He lifted his head to meet her eyes, a dazed smile on his face. Draco hissed slightly as Hermione tried to pulled her hand away.

"Sorry, still a bit sensitive." His cum was glistening on her fingers and they both froze for a moment. "Wait here."

Draco jumped up and went to the closet. He came back a moment later in a clean pair of joggers and a couple handkerchiefs to clean her hand.

Hermione reached to grab it, but he surprised her by wiping the mess off her hand himself. Getting nearly all of it with the first handkerchief but still using the second for good measure. When he was finished, he tossed them on the floor and then laid next to her on his side.

"Did I…was that okay?" She blurted out before she could stop herself.

"Granger, that lasted about two minutes. What do you think?" He said with a raised brow and sweet smile, but the statement still made her face redden. She didn't mean for it to be so short. She also didn't know how she was supposed to make it take longer.

"Just out of curiosity, what is your opinion on love bites?" He asked, looking down at her from where he was propped on his elbow.

"I've never had one."

"Better not have a look in the mirror until I head out, just to be safe," he said grinning roguishly and biting his lip. Hermione sat up to run to the bathroom and do just that.

He tutted at her, pushing her back down where she was laying. "I believe I was in the middle of something before you distracted me, wicked girl."

Hermione knew she was being childish, but she was sulking around the suite after Draco left for Hogwarts. Her birthday always fell during the time when they were at school. What she would give to be there right now, laughing with her friends, halfheartedly chiding Ron as he tried to send all the younger classmates to bed early so they could have the common room to themselves.

There were so many times she exited conversations with the other girls in her class whenever the subject shifted to boys. She wished she had stayed to listen. Lavender and Patil used to always tease her with their questions. If she had the opportunity now, she would probably humor them in any vulgar discussion they felt like having.

The wards pulled Hermione's attention from her pity party, and she rushed to the door.

Theo snorted. "Nice jumper."

Hermione had forgotten she chose Draco's old school sweater. She felt mildly embarrassed for getting caught wearing it, but Draco never made her feel weird when she did.

"Did something go wrong?"

"I heard a whisper that it's someone's special day," he said as he sauntered around the room.

The tension in her stance eased. "Malfoy told you it was my birthday?"

"Don't be thick. We got it out of Goyle." He stopped when he got to the piano and leaned against it. "I almost didn't expect to find you here. It's strange that someone like you would be so compliant in staying confined in such small quarters."

"You know if you want to question me you can just come out and do it." Theo was very convincing when playing aloof, but Hermione had caught on that he usually had ulterior motives.

"Ho-ho. Malfoy's pet does have claws." He gave her an approving smile. "I only meant to keep you company. Getting you all spun up is just too fun to resist."

"I'm not spun up!" He looked her over up and down, and she realized she was still standing by the door with her arms crossed. She slowly unfolded them and walked to sit on the chair. Theo helped himself to a piece of cake that was still sitting out from earlier.

"Nott, how long have you and Zabini been together?" She asked bluntly.

Theo looked downcast at his plate, focusing too hard on the contents. "A long time."

"Was he your first?"

That question earned her a dark look. Theo's faced quickly changed when he saw her expression, however. It must have been clear that she wasn't asking the question just to get back at him. It was probably just as uncomfortable for her, but she had no one else she could confide in about these kinds of things. She never thought she'd miss Lavender so much.

"That is an improper topic to bring up to a man you have just met, Granger." His voice was lighter than she expected, and it made her relax a little.

"I didn't mean like that. Well – not exactly. I only meant if he was your first…"

What? Kiss? Boyfriend?

"Yes." He answered. Hermione met his eyes as he watched her grapple with how to finish the question. "He was my first 'all of the things'." Theo had a wistful look on his face that made Hermione smile. Even though he was noticeably reluctant to talk about his relationship with Blaise, he almost looked satiated to finally do so.

"Thinking of taking a big step, pet?" He asked her in return. Playful but gentle. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

"Will you tell Zabini?" She asked nervously before continuing.

"Yes." He answered instantly. "But he and I are rather good at keeping secrets."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't know… what to do." It was a fact that has always been difficult for her to admit.

"Are you meant to do something that you don't want to?" Theo was looking at her with complete sincerity. It was the same protective face he gave to Blaise when he was worried about him.

"No! Not at all. I just-" Hermione dropped her head to her knees. "I just feel like I'm going to make a fool of myself."

"Granger, aside from what the two of you have been doing, Malfoy has hardly had more than a proper snog before." He taunted her lightly.

"Really?" She looked up suddenly.

"Have you not spoken to him about this?" Hermione shook her head and Theo gave her a knowing look. "I don't mean to sound like your mother, but if you don't even feel like you can talk about it, that's probably why you feel opposed to doing it."

"I don't feel opposed, I just don't like doing things without conducting the proper research first!" she insisted.

"So, ask him what he'd like."

"Ugh Theo I can't do that. If I ask him, then he'll know that I don't know!" Honestly, why is that so hard to understand.

"Oh gods," he muttered as he pulled out a pre-rolled joint and lit it up. He was holding it between his teeth, while he retrieved his journal and scribbled something to Zabini.

"I've little wisdom to share on the art of making love to women, Granger," he said, taking a long drag and then pointing it in her direction. "But if the love bites on your neck are any indication, I'd say you are doing plenty fine on your own."

She was about to protest again when she winced at the wards. She locked eyes with Theo who just nodded in the direction of the door.

"Started the party without me?" Blaise remarked. He grabbed the joint for Theo's lips as he passed by him and went to sit in the chair opposite of Hermione. Theo was still, lips still slightly parted as he appreciatively watched his partner take his first drag.

"I hear you require my expertise?" He poked nonchalantly. Smoke poured from his nostrils and mouth. They boys have come a long way from coughing between each hit like they did a few months ago. Any chance they could get away, they seemed to be lighting up.

"Don't worry Granger. It's only fair." He said leaning forward passing the blunt to Theo who snapped out of his trance to grab it. "I've been giving Malfoy unsolicited advice for years."

Hermione was confused for a moment. "But I thought you said that you only-"

"Zabini here went through most of the girls in our class and the year ahead before I made him swear them off." Theo explained.

Hermione saw shame creep on Blaise's face. She remembered Draco mentioning he was enthusiastic about girls until one day he just stopped. It made her sad for Theo that he had to witness him be with other people while they were together. She knew how bad it hurt to see the person you want with someone else on their arm.

"Men are simple creatures, Granger. I have no doubt your troubles are all in your head," Zabini continued. "However, if you ever feel like being very nice to Malfoy, there are some things you can do."