August 1999

Hermione had to force her way onto the first few missions. When it was clear Draco wouldn't retaliate for her going, Arthur quickly made her a lead, unable to deny her help was worth disobeying him. Other than when they forced her to rest, she kept herself busy, one mission after another.

It was late morning and Hermione still laid in bed. No one knew she had returned from her post yet. Anytime the world was quiet, she had to force herself not to think of Draco. It only lasted a few minutes before she reached into the bottom drawer of her nightstand, pulling out the contents hidden in the back. She unfolded the map, watching the footprints walk about the manor. She did this regularly, studying the map. Learning the names. The camera Draco gifted her was heavy in her hand and she rolled it around.

"You're back!" Parvati said from the door and Hermione looked up to see her and Miller in the doorway.

"Missed training again," said Miller. "Fancy taking pictures?"

Hestia had met Miller soon after the Battle of Hogwarts along with a small group of other muggles and took pity on them. When he first arrived, he did his morning training in the garden alone. A few younger members started to join them and naturally progressed to training everyone.

"This is full," she said as casually as she could. "And non-magical. I haven't learned to develop them."

Parvati hummed. "Bummer."

"Really?" Miller asked genuinely surprised. "I can help you."

"You know how to develop muggle films?" asked Hermione skeptically.

"You know, as the 'brightest witch of her age' this conversation is only increasing my concern for your kind," Miller said sarcastically. "I think I know an old studio in London might have what we need. If you don't mind popping us over?"

"She's only just got back…" Parvati said cautiously.

"It's fine. Let's go." Hermione pocketed the camera and they took off immediately.

The abandoned photography studio was still fully stocked. Miller got to work on developing the film in a dark room while Hermione and Pavarti kept watch outside.

"Hey," Miller called from inside and Hermione spun around. "Films ready to print if you want to help."

"I'll keep watch," said Pavarti.

He handled focusing and printing the images and then handed them to Hermione to develop and rinse. It would give Hermione time to conceal anything before he saw them. The processes were complicated enough to keep their conversation focused on the task. There was little light in the room, and Hermione was just hanging the eighth photo when an image started to appear on an earlier one.

A shaky breath escaped her. The photo captured Neddy and Draco on Christmas morning. Neddy's smile was large, but her eyes were still awkward and worrisome. Draco was trying to give her a look of annoyance, but even through the light photograph she could see how pleased he was.

"Did you want them larger?" Miller asked. "They had bigger photo paper, but these are easier to stow away."

Hermione remained in her trance, eyes fluttering over the other images of her past life as they started to appear in front of her. "The size is great. I just…"

"Move over. I'm done on this side," Miller said, and Hermione let him take over her job as she watched the pictures develop. It was for the best that they didn't move, she decided.

"You're a rubbish photographer," Miller said as he hung the last photo and started looking over the earlier ones. "You're either too close or too far from the subject."

Hermione let the light insult roll off her. She couldn't disagree, most of the time she had to sneak photos before the boys would complain or Theo would snatch the camera and hog it.

A whistling sound came from beside her and Miller quickly unclipped a photo and turned it her way. "This one's not too bad."

"Piss off," Hermione said as she snatched the photo and Miller chuckled.

It was the one Draco took from over her. She had barely turned and covered herself in time to hide her naked chest. Her other hand covered her face, but even in the dark room, she could see she had been laughing. Happy.

"What…"

Miller's voice caught her attention. His shoulders had stiffened, and all playfulness left his voice.

Hermione looked at the photo. It was one of the first she had taken during Christmas of the boys in front of the piano. Draco had been walking towards her, arm reaching out and slightly blurry. Clearly behind him was Theo and Blaise. Even though their lips weren't touching, their closeness and the grin on Blaise and the blush of Theo's cheek was enough to tell that they had just kissed.

"Honestly? There are bigger issues in the world than who people choose to love," Hermione snapped.

She wanted to grab the photos and hold them to her chest. Protect them.

"What? No, I-" Miller was a mixture of confused and angry. He put the photo in her hand and pointed towards Blaise. "Their robes."

After all her time in the Manor she became blind to the black robes. She looked around at the other pictures hanging.

"These are Death Eaters…" Miller started backing away, looking over the photos and realized the subjects of most were the same. He looked back at Hermione's eyes on fire. "You're one of them!"

Hermione had her wand pointed at him without thinking and he pressed his back against the wall. Eyes darting around the room trying to find an escape. If he yelled for Parvarti she would come rushing in and see.

"Don't be stupid," Hermione spat, both out of fear and anger. She had learned the hard way that it was impossible to convince people to trust others once they got it in their head they were betrayed. "Harry was my best friend. Of course I'm not a Death Eater."

They stared off for another moment before Miller exhaled suddenly. Nodding, he looked over the pictures and then back to Hermione.

"They're on our side," he said in understanding. He walked back over to the photos and started looking more closely and speaking in hushed tones. "The Dark Lord's Favored? Christ, that's amazing. I knew the Order had someone up high in Voldemort's ranks, but Malfoy is basically his hand."

Hermione lowered her wand watching as Miller looked freely over the most intimate time of her life. No anger or distrust that she kept it from everyone, and instantly understanding as to why.

"You… and Malfoy?"

"Please don't."

"Okay."

He didn't press her further. They let the films finish before unclipping them and wrapping them loosely in brown paper.

"You should charm them. Just in case something pops up and they get taken," Miller suggested right before they left.

"That's a good idea."

Hermione already had her wand in her hand, a moment from casting a very different spell. She hesitated, suddenly feeling the urge to be honest instead of hiding.

"Miller, I'm sorry. You can't know about them," Hermione said, revealing her wand.

The ball in his throat bobbed as he swallowed nervously. "Okay... Do you need me to do anything?"

Hermione smiled, grateful and relieved. "No."

"Don't mess up," he snapped.

"I won't," Hermione said back. "Ready?"

Miller closed his eyes. "Sure."

Once they were done, Hermione cleaned the space with a wave of her wand and they exited the studio. Parvati was leaning against the building and stood up when they walked out.

"How'd it go?" she asked, brightly. "Can I see them?"

"Miller oversold his abilities," Hermione snarked as they kept walking.

"Hey. I told you not to let the light in!" Miller argued defensively.

Parvati's face fell. "Oh no... Were they all ruined?"

"It's fine. I didn't really need thirty photos of Crookshanks," Hermione smiled.

"Well, now I'm really disappointed," Parvati whined.

They made it back to the house without any incidents. Hermione retreated up the stairs while they went to their briefing. Alone in her room, she transfigured the photos back into their original form. The colors were brighter, and the light in the room made her feel like she was looking over them for the first time again.

December, 1999

It wasn't often that Hermione was invited to convene with Zabini and Nott. They had some misconception that the boys would be more charitable if she were there. Hermione didn't know how many more times she would have to go through the torture before they accepted it wasn't true. After the first few meetings she stopped trying to reach them. Nott's glare had a way of cutting her nearly as deep as his words once did.

Hermione stared out the window of the random shack as she kept her angst at bay. Arthur, McGonagall, and Molly were whispering lowly behind her as they waited. The windowsill was painted with dust, and Hermione levitated it in the air, forming small animal figures with it until a door banged open behind her followed by a pair of heavy footsteps.

Nott hardly sneered in her direction. Zabini kept a smirk on his face, the one he used to show people who he wanted them to see. Sometimes she wondered what would happen if she got to speak to Zabini alone. Maybe it was because he wasn't there the day she got thrown out, but he never hated her the way Nott did. At least not to her face.

They each looked fit enough, which gave her a small sense of peace.

"Malfoy has been busy," Arthur started. "I hear he's taken up residence at Hogwarts?"

"He goes where he is needed," said Zabini noncommittally, sitting properly in a chair next to Nott. "I hope you did not risk us coming here on such a trivial matter?"

"We'll get right into it," Arthur looked at Hermione, but she turned to stare back out the window. "What do you know about Alecto Carrow?"

"Bitch," Nott answered.

Hermione flinched at his words. When she turned around Nott could only meet her eyes for a moment. It was long enough to notice Zabini jab him under the table, displeased.

Hermione finally pulled herself from the window and took the last remaining seat at the table. Unfortunately, the only seat left was opposite of Nott.

"She's works with beasts mostly," Zabini said with distaste. "Not a big fan of you lot since you murdered her brother." His last statement he said with a subtle wink to Nott and Hermione.

"Can Draco do something to stop their attacks?" McGonagall stated.

"No one can control the wolves but Greyback," Zabini said plainly. "The ugly mutts have no concept of social rank."

Hermione pursed her lips together before she scolded Zabini for his crassness. The smirk he gave her was enough to know he was baiting her on purpose, like he used to. It reminded her of how much childlike amusement Blaise got from teasing her. The friendly gesture didn't escape Nott, who huffed and glared at Zabini like he betrayed him before he fixed his eyes to the wall behind her head.

"Greyback still needs to pay," Nott muttered to Zabini.

It looked like he regretted the words right after he said them. Zabini looked between them, nearly hopefully.

"For what, exactly?" McGonagall asked.

Nott glanced at Hermione. Both he and Zabini fixed her with a silent question. She shook her head slightly in answer. There was little she disclosed about her time at the Manor. Least of all, the werewolf attack she hardly escaped because of her own stupidity.

"Just… in general," Nott finally answered.

"A few packs reside at what's left of the Ministry," said Zabini.

Arthur nodded enthusiastically. "We'll start there."

"If that's all, we should be on our way," Nott said impatiently. He tossed a gallon on the table. "We'll need new coins."

Arthur fumbles with a small pouch that he uses to carry their communication coins. The room is quiet and awkward as he struggles to open the flap.

Arthur cursed under his breath. "Blasted thing. Always gets stuck."

Zabini looked between the two of them. A mixture between amused and annoyed. He could blame Nott for the tension, Hermione reckoned. She did her trying to fix it.

"Spit on it," Zabini suggested, and Hermione's eyes shot up to his. "I've heard it works quite well."

Damn him. Hermione's face heated at the same time she tried to force down a laugh. Her gaze flickered to Theo, who was failing miserably to bite back a smile. The moment their eyes met, he had to cover his chuckle with a cough and turned away.

"Alright there, boy?" asked Arthur to Nott, which did make a laugh escape her.

"Bloody dust…" Nott cleared his throat before standing and throwing open the window and causing a few birds outside to startle. He kept his back to the room even though Hermione could see how his shoulders slightly shook.

Theo's face wasn't nearly as stoic when he turned back around. "We'll handle Carrow."

Zabini nodded in confirmation, standing up. "The Ministry should be empty on the full moon."

Arthur nodded and handed Zabini and Nott each a new coin. Once they heard the crack of disapparation, Arthur turned back to the group.

"Full moon is in a fortnight. You up for it?" Arthur asked.

"Of course," she replied, and they waited only a moment longer before disappearing back to the Potter house.

The Ministry looked more sinister than when Hermione, Ron and Harry last visited. Neville and Parvati walked beside her quietly as they crossed over into the section of London occupied by the Death Eaters. There was little more they needed than the cover of night in this part of the city. Once they reached Whitehall without seeing a single person, they picked up their pace with newfound confidence.

They went down one by one. Hermione was relieved to find the atrium completely abandoned. The room smelt stale, a mixture of must and sulfur.

"Lumos," Hermione casted into the pitch-black atrium.

The lift took them to the fourth level. Order used the same strategy: Set a trap, extract those they wanted to question, kill the rest. It was operational. Efficient. Easier to pretend there weren't real faces under the black hoods.

Hermione had only finished her first set of enchantments when a snap echoed off the floor from down the hall.

Nox, Hermione thought, and the light on her wand extinguished.

Silence followed. Not even the sound of Neville's breath reaching her ear.

Footsteps appeared, and Hermione transformed her hearing to try and determine how many there were. None were wolves, but there were enough for at least ten people. Hermione, Parvati, and Neville, gathered with their backs together and their wands out.

A masked Death Eater walked out from the shadow, arms hanging lazily by his side.

"Are we going to do this the hard way?" said a voice like gravel.

"Only if you put up a fight," Parvati quipped.

Hermione was silent, following the sounds of the steps to detect the best route to escape. There were only two Death Eaters down the hall to the left. That hall was narrow, and she had a terrible feeling there would only be more on the other side. An emergency portkey would be the best way out.

She leaned slightly to the left, enough to nudge Parvati who nudged Neville. Seconds passed, and they remained in place.

"Parvati," Hermione whispered, grabbing her tighter.

"Working on it," she grunted.

"Looking for this?" A hooded Death Eater chimed, holding up Parvati wrapped portkey.

Hermione sighed. "Wonderful."

Hermione pocketed her wand, lifting both of her hands up above her head in surrender. Laughter rang from the dark corners of the room.

"So, this is the Order's greatest weapon?" A familiar voice sneered. Yaxley.

Crucio, Hermione casted silently.

The vile wizard doubled over.

"Now is not the time!" Parvati hissed.

Hermione ended the curse and focused again. They were surrounded. Anti-apparation wards were in place and she couldn't be sure how far they went.

"Only way out is up," Hermione muttered.

One of the Death Eaters looked up, just in time for Hermione to close her fists and yank them down, ripping down the ceiling with it. The cloaked figures scurried back to avoid the fallen stone as Hermione grabbed and raised her wand, levitating the ground beneath her feet and sending the trio flying towards the now open ceiling.

"Oof," Neville moaned as he landed ungracefully, Parvati too with a thud next to him.

More Death Eaters were waiting on the roof. It seemed they would have to fight their way out.

Neville attacked quickly while Parvati surrounded them with protective enchantments. Most of the curses aimed at Hermione.

She blocked a green curse before swiftly returning stunner, hitting the Death Eater straight in the chest. There were too many. The attack was an ambush. Looking them over, none appeared to be the right height or shape to be ones that she cared about. A taller Death Eater to her left made her heart skip a beat, but he moved with far too little grace to be him.

Hermione looked from her friends to the gaping hole that went at least four stories down. If most of the Death Eaters followed her, Parvati and Neville should be able to get away.

"It's only four blocks to the border," Hermione grunted, casting another defensive spell. A rogue curse hit a Death Eater who had their wand at Hermione.

Before she could think better of it, she jumped. Freefalling back into the Ministry, her arms waved slightly to keep her upright.

Something crashed into her mid-air, black smoke trailing in his wake as he held on to her tightly.

"Are you bloody mad?!" Theo yelled at her over the sound of the chaos below. He flew around erratically, like she was putting up a struggle.

Hermione let herself hold him back. "I'll be fine! I just need a distraction long enough for them to get away."

"Fucking Gryffindors," Theo groaned. "Get to the fountain. It's enchanted. Touch it and you can apparate out."

Hermione nodded. She could probably land within arm's reach of it. Above her, nearly all the Death Eaters from outside had started to funnel back in. They were definitely after her. Theo's arms held her a little tighter.

"Make it look real, pet," he said with a playfulness she had started to believe never existed.

Hermione pulled him tighter for a split second before pushing him away, and he theatrically spun in the air, until he came down softly against the wall.

She landed next to what was once Fountain of Magical Brethren, a little harder than she meant to, and her knees buckled. Before the Death Eaters around her could reach her, she jumped up and gripped the side with both hands.

The world turned to black.

A tickle down the side of her face made her flinch. Hermione tried to scratch it, but her arms wouldn't move.

Hermione growled in annoyance. "Alohomora."

"No use, puppet. Those are Azkaban chains. Now let's try this again."

Hermione opened her eyes. The room was lit just enough to see Theo's father looking down at her. He was lurking above, wand directed at her chest, blood and sweat on his brow.

"How did you escape Malfoy Manor?" Nott Sr. asked.

Hermione suspected it wasn't the first time.

The floor beneath her was cool. She turned her head so that her cheek would rest against it.

Voices kept lofting around her. The voices were saying words. She knew that. But there was no sound left in her mind to understand them.

"How are you certain she escaped?"

"She was my prisoner," Theo's father wailed. "I brought her there myself! You think Lucious let Potter's friend just walk out?!"

"We spent hours looking for her. Days."

"Lucious went mad."

Her head fell to the other side, and she took in more of her surroundings. The last thing she expected to see was Theo staring back at her. The robes he wore looked dirty and torn. Was he hurt? The look on his face said he was about to do something stupid. She attempted to shake her head to stop him. There was no reason for him to die too.

"You'd do well to tell me now, puppet. Someone must have helped you. Tell me now, and I'll reward you with a swift death. If you wait until Lucius arrives, he'll take his time rummaging through your mind. We promised the traitor will be his."

Dark chuckles filled the room and Hermione let her eyes close again just as she saw the panic on Theo's face.

She needed to die before Lucius arrived. The defenses in her mind might not hold.

"Crucio."

Hermione hardly had the energy to flinch as the curse hit her. Nothing but a whisp escaped her throat and it seemed all her screams had been used. The curse stopped short enough to keep her conscious, just before someone else hit her again.

"Stop- Stop! It was me!"

Hermione shook her head.

"…Theodore?"

The silence rang through the room as Hermione fought for consciousness. A heavy thud landed next to her. There were screams. Ones she recognized.

Screams.

And screams.

"How did he get her out without us seeing?" snarled a groveling voice. "Your own son Nott. Salazar… is he fornicating with it."

"ANSWER THEO!"

The screams seized long enough for Hermione to open her eyes. Everything was black. A grunt was followed by a heavy arm draped across her. There was something pressed up against her side and she turned her head to press against the warmth. There was hot, soft skin pressed against her forehead, and somewhere settling in the dust of her soul remembered that life was once something that could be enjoyed.

"I'm here," a mouth whispered, pressed against her temple.

The arm around her middle tightened and pulled her tighter against his body. The heartbeat thumping loudly and out of rhythm with her own. She tilted her head, and her nose ran along his cheek.

Shaky fingers pushed against her eyelids, gently closing them and it was then she realized they were open. Did they look as lifeless as she felt?

"The boy won't break. Hit her again," Nott senior spat.

"How did you escape Malfoy Manor, mudblood?!" Lucius wailed. When did he arrive? "Tell me now, or I will pillage your mind and find it for myself!"

The arm tightened around her, and she felt the shift of his weight as he used his body to cover more of her. Either his heartbeat was getting stronger or hers was fading.

"Cru-"

"No! No, no - She didn't! She-" Theo's voice rumbled against her until it was cut off with a sharp breath. Hermione felt another surge race through Theo's chest. It was different from the curse before. And there was a prickling against her forearm.

"Speak!" Lucius raged. "Your son is a traitor, Nott!"

"That is no son of mine."

"We… I hid her in-," Theo gasped, and her arm prickled again. Subtle at first, but then getting more insistent in the shape of three rings.

"I don't give a fuck where you hid her. How did you get past my enchantments-" Lucius cut himself off, gasping so loud he nearly choked on the air. "Did Draco know?"

Hermione tried to grasp Theo's arm and groaned when the manacles surrounding her wristed tightened. His head kept swiveling aimlessly against hers as he tried to get his bearings.

"Hermione...Dra-"

Shut up, shut up.

"Don't," Hermione moaned weakly, turning her head in a feeble attempt to cover his mouth before he triggered the vow further.

"I've got this, pet," he breathed airy and weak, his exhale brushing against her cheek.

After that she couldn't hear. She leaned further into Theo, trying valiantly to get closer and convinced herself it was working. The arm on her middle felt heavier.

Hermione pushed her nose into his cheek again. Wanting to feel his flinch, or his breath. There was only one small thumping in or against her chest now, and she wasn't sure if it was hers.

Pounding. There was no way to tell if it was coming from in or around her head. Trying to shake awake, Hermione lifted her head and opened her eyes.

She could see again, if only faintly. Her body felt equally weightless and like lead as her head bobbed again against the chest that was carrying her. The hall they were in was unrecognizable.

"Don't die," a hoarse voice begged.

In the time she woke to the time they entered a small room, and the words were repeated over and over.

Green flames surrounded her and then she was outside. The cold air bit her skin and invaded her head through her ears and nose. It muffled the sound of other voices, whispering eagerly as they finally came to a stop.

"You can't apparate. She's too weak," her carrier's voice was stronger, and she recognized it.

"Blaise…" she whimpered, reaching for him as he handed her to the person waiting.

"Go!" Blaise barked again.

At least she thought he did.

Crack,

Crack,

Crack.

The flames danced in her face and Hermione wondered how there was ever a time that she fucking liked them. Neville, Ron and Parvati surrounded her as they had every day and night since they collected her three days ago. The Death Eaters had kept her locked in Nott house for nearly a week, trying to break into her mind.

They never discovered how the Death Eaters knew they were at the Ministry. It didn't stop the others from accusing Blaise and Theo of setting them up. Even though they were the ones who saved her. Even though Theo died to protect their secrets.

She was able to stand on her own now, so they'd likely attempt to leave the forlorn safe house soon. This house was the worst of all. Hermione preferred to sit outside, even with the weather freezing. It was located in the middle of a secular area. Yet she somehow felt more numbness than occlumency was ever able to provide.

Hermione swirled her tea and watched the mini funnel form. If she could use all her magic to swirl the sea, if only once, could she convince it to swallow her whole?

The funnel disappeared and a small petal floated down into her cup. It sat there, floating on the tea and before she could stop herself, she was jumping up. The blanket surrounding her falling to the ground.

"Draco?!" Hermione croaked, voice still shredded.

Ron suddenly appeared. "Hermione, what are you doing?"

It had to be him. Even if she couldn't see him. Even though she felt alone. Did she not do the same for him?

She started walking, not knowing where to go or why but she had to and stumbling to keep her balance. Parvati appeared by her side and Hermione started running.

"DRACO!"

"Hermione, stop!" Parvati yelled.

She wrapped her arms around her from the back and Hermione struggled. She cried and fought against the hold so hard that they both fell to the ground. Draco had to be there. She needed him. She was so fucking sorry. The petal was a sign. It had to be. She needed it. Desperate for forgiveness. For anything.

She fought against Parvati harder, starting to panic. Her face was wet, and she realized at some point she had started crying. Maybe she always had been.

"Stop! Let me go!" Hermione cried. "Help me!"

Cried for Neddy, Goyle, and Theo.

"Help me!" Hermione wailed again, but this time for herself.

"I'm trying!" Parvati sobbed in her ear. Each syllable broken. Sounding so hopeless and defeated but refusing to let up her grip. "I'm trying. I- I don't know how."

Hermione gave up. Letting herself fall into Parvati's embrace and turning to hold onto her tightly instead of fighting.

"Please…" Hermione begged in a whisper.

Other arms surrounded her from the back. They didn't force her to move or to stop. Parvati shook with her own sobs and Hermione held on tighter.