six.

"Hey. I'm Bryan."

I froze in the doorway, heart pounding against my chest as I waited for her response.

He was talking to her. There was no doubt. Lucky bastard.

She introduced herself. He asked if she worked for the show.

I wanted to kill him.

It was bound to happen. I knew it was a goddamn outrage that she was single in the first place.

But I had made a deal with myself on the flight over. That, for the next week, I would get her out of my system. I'd be seeing her more, she'd be snapping at me every other hour when I inevitably pissed her off, and if I wanted to keep her as my publicist I couldn't be touching myself to the thoughts of her every goddamn morning.

But listening to a perfectly age appropriate prick flirt with her was like a knife to the chest.

It shouldn't have been. She wasn't mine. She was my employee, my twelve-years-younger employee.

But all evening I'd had this undeniable pull toward her. Like she was mine, and we just didn't know it yet. Like the stars had finally aligned and sitting across the table from her at dinner was the exact place I was supposed to be.

I was well aware I sounded slightly insane. Entirely insane. But every time I looked at her I wanted her. I wasn't known for my self-control, so I spent the evening blissfully neglecting all of my problems and focused only on how many times I could get her to snort out a laugh.

I was up to six.

"So you're in town for the next week, then?"

Listening to a perfectly age-appropriate boy–man–ask her out was a bucket of cold water over my head. A much needed one, because I knew nothing could ever come of my infatuation with her, but it didn't make it any fucking easier to listen to it.

"Um, yes."

Say no, I repeated to myself.

I was a glutton for punishment, but I didn't care. All I could think about were brown eyes and snorted laughs and the way she looked so fucking confused when I helped her clean up her nearly broken nose.

"Me too. Maybe I can call you sometime, see if you're free?"

I nodded, agreeing to something next week that I had no details on as the man across from me shook my hand, but my focus was hooked on the quiet conversation in the hall.

Say no. Say no. Say no.

"Sure."

I excused myself from the conversation and walked out the door just in time to see Bella handing over a business card to the punk.

"Are you ready to go?" I snapped, unfairly harsh as I felt myself put a hand on her back. The smallest, most pathetic claim I could lay on her.

Because as much as I wanted her to be mine, she wasn't. As much as I let myself believe her smiles and snorts and quips were just for me, they weren't.

She had every right to go out with him.

It wasn't her fault I was trapped in a sham of a marriage. That I let Irina hold my children hostage over me. That I had convinced myself she was somehow made for me.

"Yeah," Bella nodded, used to my irritability and inability to get along with most other people in the industry. "It was nice to meet you, Bryan."

He responded.

I was too busy trying to mentally kill the part of myself that was inexplicably attracted to Bella Swan to pay attention.

Sometimes I could convince myself it was just a sexual attraction. And there was, without a doubt, a sexual attraction. My subconscious made sure I was aware of it every time I closed my eyes to fall asleep. Or was anywhere near the woman. Other times, like tonight, it felt like more. Combined with my inability to not think about how good she would look in my bed.

A dangerous combination that led to me attempting to get some semblance of control back over myself on the drive home. Control turned into anger pretty damn quick as I watched her get out of the car. As I stood beside her in the elevator, watching those big brown eyes stare at me out of her periphery vision. Maybe wondering what had pissed me off this time.

For the ride up, I let myself imagine it. Truly giving in. Getting to know what her lips tasted like, what her moans sounded like.

It was the stupidest thing I had ever done.

Or the best decision of my life.

Because as we walked toward our respective rooms, I cracked. Years of pent up frustration at problems of my own making boiled over.

"Do you know how fucking unfair this is?" I snapped. Mostly talking to myself. Glad she stopped and stared at me from a few feet away.

Her head cocked to the side. "How unfair what is?"

I motioned between us. "This, Bella. Having to listen to that punk ask you out without a second thought when…"

When I would treat you so much fucking better than him.

If I could. If the ring on my finger didn't feel like a noose that had been tightening around my neck every single day since I was eighteen.

I pulled at my hair.

Tried to find my conscious one last time.

Then walked her backwards until she was trapped between the wall and me.

Not technically trapped. She would walk away right now and I would let her. Would encourage her to, really.

She didn't.

She looked up at me with those big brown eyes that tugged at my center of gravity every time I got a glimpse of them.

Fuck it.

I hung my head beside hers, barely able to get the words out as I breathed in a lung full of her scent. "You're so fucking beautiful it hurts."

She stared up at me, shock seeping into her eyes. Shock and adrenaline and excitement. No fear or disgust or anger.

I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to break through to the rational part of myself. It was impossible to do that when he was so close, but I refused to move.

Then soft lips brushed against mine in the most hesitant, gentle kiss I had ever had the pleasure of receiving. It broke open the part of me that I had shoved down and repressed for the last seven years. The part of me that wanted to be happy.

My hands gripped her hips, squeezing her gently until I oriented myself enough to know which way was my room. With the door slammed shut behind her and the knowledge that she kissed me I pressed her against the wall. Every glorious inch of her pressed into me as I finally had the taste of her on my tongue.

I sighed her name, greedily inhaling her scent as I gave her a moment to breathe and myself a moment to come to my senses. I brushed my fingers gently across her cheek.

There was no going back. There had never been a choice for us, not really.

I buried my fingers in her hair, that silky smooth hair I had fantasized about too many fucking times to count and pulled her in for another kiss.

She let out a delicious breathy gasp when I pressed my cock against her. It was a challenge to tear my fingers from her hair, but the trip down her waist was worth it. My fingers tensed on her hips at the way she fit against me. Like every curve of her body was made to fit against mine, snug and safe.

My teeth grazed against her neck, biting down gently on the heart-shaped freckle she had where her neck met her collarbone. There was a salty sheen of sweat on her skin from the summer heat mixed with a sweetly floral scent coming off of her.

Without giving myself a moment to talk myself out of it, my fingers grazed up her thigh, barely brushing past the hem of her little black dress. I took the satisfied little moan she let out at the movement as the go ahead to wrap her my fingers around both thighs and hoist her up.

Strong legs locked around my waist. I heard something scatter to the ground behind me but couldn't have cared less about it when her nails scratched gently against my scalp.

I carried her through the annoyingly large suite, nearly groaning with relief as soon as I had her in my bed. Her curls fell on the crisp white comforter and her breath came in quick pants as those big brown eyes looked up at me.

My own breathing turned shallow as I looked her over. And over again.

Her skin was flushed, cheeks all the way down to her chest covered in a pale pink blush. I unbuttoned my shirt as I appreciated the slope of her neck and the curve of her breasts. Tossed it aside when I got to her thighs, wondering how I had ever expected myself to stay away from her.

I'd never been one to turn to drugs, but I understood those who did, now. She was akin to my own personal brand of heroine. Better, maybe. More rare, more valuable.

I crawled over her, smiling softly to myself as her legs opened to accommodate me seemingly without a second thought. I sought out that heart-shaped freckle at her neck, using it to center myself, to slow down the part of me that was wondering how quickly I could have myself buried inside of her and think through all of the things I could do before I got to that point.

"I've never had sex."

I had to repeat the words in my mind three times before they registered.

I've never had sex.

Fucking hell.

"I just, um, thought you should know."

Jesus Christ.

I met her eyes and hated the tint of uncertainty in them now. Hated myself for not immediately getting out of bed with the woman and apologizing profusely.

At my core, I was evidently a very selfish man because the idea of being the one to have the pleasure of introducing Bella to sex about had my mind short circuit.

She could never be mine, not in the long run. And it was a fucked up consolation, but knowing no matter what happened between us I would always be her first had me grinding my teeth as I asked, "Do you want me to stop?"

Because fuck, she deserved better for her fist time. She deserved candles and flowers and soft hands and slow kisses and love.

I would take care of her. Make damn sure she enjoyed herself more than most men who would be more concerned about their experience than hers. But she still deserved better. Always would.

Her answer was immediate. "No." One of her hands tugged at my hair, the other drifted torturously gently down my bare back. "No."

She kissed me again. Her neck strained up and her lips so soft and hesitant as they touched mine. It took all of my focus away so that when her other hand had drifted further down my back and snuck around to graze against my cock, I let out a surprised gasp.

All of the possibilities flooded my mind. That same hand wrapped around my cock, those swollen pink lips doing the same. Her body, naked and flushed and sweaty. Her hands scratching against my scalp as I buried my face between her thighs–

A greater man would have walked away.

I brushed my lips against her ear. "Oh, baby. You have no idea," I told her, angling her chin up so I could suck at the soft skin of her neck. "No idea how good I can make you feel."

She whimpered, body rolling underneath mine and her hand squeezing my cock.

Reluctantly, I pulled away. Tugging her with me, brushing my fingers against the soft skin of her ankle until she was right where I wanted her. She sat up, legs hanging off the end of the bed and her hands immediately brushed down my abdomen.

I swallowed back a groan.

"You'll have your turn to explore," I told her through gritted teeth. I placed a kiss to both of her wrists, knowing I had no fucking chance at lasting long if she kept the wandering hands up.

It was a promise I would keep, letting her explore. If she wanted. But not tonight. "Tonight is my turn."

I pulled her to her feet. Got the sexy little black dress off of her. And realized my imagination never stood a fucking chance at doing her justice.

She was perfect. She had an impressive amount of muscle underneath her figure; subtle but defined abs, calves that were strong enough to keep her tethered to me, breasts that would be two fucking perfect handfuls for me. The slope of her neck begged for my attention, the curve of her waist was too perfect not to reach out and graze.

I couldn't decide where to start.

"Fucking breathtaking," I muttered to myself, giving her waist a gentle squeeze before easing her back on the bed. Without taking my eyes off of her, I fumbled with the condom I had stashed in my wallet and tossed it on the bed.

Then I had her. This perfect specimen of a woman in my bed, naked underneath me. My palm reached up to cup her cheek, to look at her for one last confirmation that this was what she wanted.

She pulled away, and for a moment I knew everything had been too good to be true.

Then she pulled my wedding ring off and tossed it on the bedside table.

I kissed her again. Ran my fingers through her hair before traveling down her collarbone to her breast. Gently pinching her nipple between two fingers, I smiled into the kiss as she let out a huff of a breath. She whimpered when I pulled away, but I made it up to her when my tongue brushed over her breast.

"God, your skin tastes good," I mumbled, distracted by the way she squirmed against me and the pure, undiluted taste of the woman.

And I hadn't even gotten to the best parts.

I peppered kisses along her abdomen. Memorized the feel of her abs tensing when my tongue shot out for a taste of her skin. Let my fingers drift down her thighs and calves as I pulled the black lace down her legs and smiled at every line of gooseflesh my fingers left behind in their wake.

I ran my hands along her calves and thighs, quickly realizing that she was new to sex is every meaning of the word. I knew her. Liked to think I did. So I was fairly confident in my assessment that she had never had a man touch her or taste her. The sudden tension locking up her limbs was my proof.

"Hey. No more thinking," I told her, pressing my lips to her cheek. "No more worrying." A kiss to her other cheek. "I've got you. Okay?" And one to her nose.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me in that sweet, innocent, pure way I was beginning to crave. I smiled into it as my fingers brushed down her abdomen between her legs.

Her face pressed into my shoulder as I slid one finger inside of her. She was wet, already more than ready for me. The whimper she let out as my thumb brushed across her clit nearly did me in.

"I've been thinking about what you would taste like for weeks," I admitted, pulling away from her just enough to look down and watch my finger slide in and out of her.

Fucking perfect.

Her sigh of annoyance as I pulled my finger out made me smile. I situated myself between her legs, hands slowly pulling her thighs apart. I pressed a kiss to her clit. Took a soft, gentle lick of her folds, and knew I was ruining myself when her fingers knotted in my hair as she came on my tongue.