Stanley asked for help: Tourists
Tuesday
Stanley sat in the middle of the meeting hall while the search party gathered around him to search the forest. As a stranger to the town, he wouldn't be much help searching the woods. After he was done sitting at the table for people with info or complaints about his brother, he headed to the house to help the cops search.
Stan let his head fall into his hands. What had the world come to when Stanley Pines was HELPING the cops?
Due to spending all night working on the portal, he was tired. He almost nodded off right then and there until he heard a voice.
"Hay Stanley."
Stan looked up at the group of people standing in front of him. It included the lady with cat earrings that called Ford the "mysterious science guy", an elderly couple that said Fiddleford bought stuff with Ford at their store, a huge African American man, the trainee with a nametag that read "Daryl", a kid with a 'pizza' t-shirt, a short guy with the ugliest face Stan had ever seen, and about half a dozen others.
"You own your brother's lab now, right?"
Stan looked at them confused for a fore moments before answering.
"Um, yes? Why?"
"We've all heard strange stories about that old shack."
"Yeah, mysterious lights and spooky experiments."
"Gosh, I'd pay anything to see what kind of shenanigans your brother got up to."
"All of us would. We just wanted to know if you were thinking about giving tours?"
Stan was about to refuse when he realized that despite his massive windfall, he would probably have to give up 95% to keep himself in the Shack. Another revenue stream would also mean that if they ever stopped giving him the "police chief's" paycheck, he wouldn't be high and dry.
Also, there was no such thing as too much money.
"Yes, I do give tours. $10, no $15 a person."
At that, everyone began pulling out their wallets.
"Not now, how about noon tomorrow so I have time to tidy up, get settled in, and get the cops to finish their investigation? Be sure to tell your friends as well. There will be a surprise for everyone that comes to the first tour, so be sure not to miss it."
With that, the crowd dispersed to spread the word.
Stan frowned before going over to Sherif Bright.
"Hay sheriff, you seem to know a lot about the laws and history of the town. Is there any reason I can't charge to do tours of my brother's lab?"
Bright thought about it for a moment before responding.
"The only thing I can think of is that you might need a local tourist license from the mayor. The good news is that he is right over there."
Stanley turned and looked at where the sheriff was pointing. He saw an old man in a wheelchair, a stuffed bear, and a vulture sitting on the wheelchair's handles while looking at the old man menacingly.
"Just to check, are you talking about the man, the bear, the bird, or the wheelchair?"
Sherif Bright chuckled.
"The old man, of course, none of those others can count to 10 or throw their hats into the provided ring. Though they all do cast shadows."
Stan rolled his eyes and walked over to him after thanking the mayor.
"Excuse me, sir, I want to apply for a tourist license. What would that entail?"
The mayor was startled and looked over at Stan before calming down.
"Oh, sorry about that sonny. I was having a nap, what did you say? Also, could you speak up about my newfangled hearing aid?"
When he produced an ear trumpet, Stanley sighed and spoke up loudly.
"CAN I HAVE A TOURIST LICENSE?"
"Sure, just remember that for every $100 you make please either throw a pancake into the official pancake bonfire or walk around without pants for an hour."
Stan was numb to the weird laws of the town by this point, so he just shrugged and thanked him.
At least I will have a good reason not to wear pants. That is always a plus in my book.
At the Shack
Stan looked at the mess that was the inside of the Shack. He spent the last 10 years living in the back of his car with only the occasional night in a motel room, and it was nowhere near this messy. He wasn't sure he would be able to clean it up before the suckers showed up at noon tomorrow, even if he didn't sleep.
I don't need to clean the whole building, just the storage room nearest the back entrance. That has enough weird stuff to keep people happy.
With a quick look at the time, he started checking out what was in the storage area to develop unbelievable stories about the stuff in it.
When he entered, he found it was full of oddities and junk. There was a real Fiji mermaid, a tank with built-in gloves that contained a glue crystal, a jar of eyeballs, a stone tablet, a skull with three eyes, a stone head, an old-fashioned diving suite, a (hopefully) fake skeleton on a stand, a tapestry of people bowing to a pyramid with one eye, and more.
Stan then stumbled across a small box with two TV antennas on its top and a button on its side.
"What does this little box do?"
When Stan pushed the button, it started sending up electricity between its antenna.
"Hun, neat."
Then a rat scuttled from the wall near the box and got a discharge. After the electricity hit its head, the rat tumbled to the ground and stopped moving. After Stan poked it a few times, he determined that it died.
After staring at the box for several seconds a grin began to climb onto his face.
"Let's see if I can make this do bigger zaps. People would charge money to see me flash-cook things. I might even be able to make my dinner!"
Stan put that to the side and began digging more into the boxes and moving things around. After an hour of work, Sherrif Bright walked into the room with a knock to get his attention.
"We're done searching the house. There's nothing here that tells us where he went. We'll search the yard and the 37 rabbit jumps, but I doubt we'll find anything useful there."
Stan's eyes drifted to the funky tapestry (moved to cover the door to the secret lab) for an instant before settling back on the Sherrif.
"OK, thanks for letting me know. If you need me, I'll be here getting ready for the tour tomorrow."
With that, both men went back to what they were doing.
Morning at the town hall, Wednesday
The sheriff set up a community waffle breakfast for everyone to improve turnout for the search. Stanley once again stood up at the podium.
"I just wanted to thank all of you for helping me find my brother. If anyone remembers anything that might help us, I will be at my brother's shack. Just so everyone knows, I will be doing $15 tours for everyone who helps with the search, and $20 for everyone else. Since this is the first tour I have ever given for the place, there is also a special surprise for them that won't be in subsequent tours. So come on down so you don't miss out!"
There was a lot of exciting murmuring before the ugly man raised his hand.
'Hi, Toby Determined here. How many people can take the tour at a time? I doubt the place can hold the whole town at once."
Stan froze at that before turning to Sheriff Bright.
"Hay, you were at the shack. How many people do you think I could tour there without breaking laws."
He shrugged. "I have no idea. The only law about tours in town says that it can't be the entire population at once to prevent them from all being eaten by dinosaurs."
Stan had to process that before moving on to his next question. "What about fire codes? Does anyone know those?"
Manley Stan stood up. "Since I built the house, I can say that the place can handle tours of about 20 people at a time."
The fire chief then stood up. "I can double-check if you want to confirm that, but I trust Manley Dan's ability to judge these things."
Stan did some quick thinking before continuing.
"Ok, how about this. I'll start the tours around lunchtime and do 10-minute tours of 20 people at a time through the shack with 5-minute breaks between them. I'll continue until 4, and everyone that goes on one of those tours will be able to get the surprise."
He then turned to Sheriff Bright again. "Are we doing another search tomorrow?"
He nodded but grimaced. "Yes, but that will have to be the last search. We still haven't found any trace of him, and unless that changes today or tomorrow, we'll have to call it. Sorry."
Stan sighed but nodded. "OK, how about I do tours tomorrow starting at 10 and ending at 4 without the surprises, but for anyone that missed the previous one? On the weekend I'll do 10-7 runs. OK?"
With everyone agreeing, Stan began to smile.
"Great. Please don't be afraid to come to me if you can think of anything to help me find my brother and good luck out there!"
With that, Stan headed up to get ready for his first tour and let Sheriff Bright start the search with Flannal Fred.
Noon
Susan Wenworth, Toby Determined, Ma and Pa Duskerton, Tats, Mrs. Cutybike and her son Tyler, Daryl Blubs, Greg Valentino, his girlfriend Janice, Shandra Jimenez, a boy with a 'pizza' shirt, three teenagers named Jeffy Fresh, Byrone, Rosie, Manly Dan, Anna Ramirez and her daughter Mary, and two random people he had seen around town.
"Hello everyone! Welcome to the first-ever tour of my brother's house. Now it's time for the first surprise, all you have a chance to do is give me a name to call the exhibit on any road signs, merchandise, and the like. If I choose yours, then you will get this!"
He then held up a metal card with the words STAN PINE cared on one side.
"Whoever holds this can take the tour here for free once daily for as long as this place is running!"
Everyone began owing and awing at that announcement.
"Now, let's hear some names!"
"Murder Hut!"
"Magic House!"
"Mad Lab!"
"Mystery Spot (465 Mystery Spot Rd, Santa Cruz, CA 95065)"
"Mystery Shack!"
At that, Stan pointed his finger at Anna and Mary Ramirez.
"There we go. That is the new name of this attraction. Come on up and collect your prize!"
With that, the Hispanic lady and her daughter picked up the card.
"Gracia Senor Pines."
"De nada niña. I'm making this up as I go along, so keep coming over to see how things change."
He then turned to the rest of the group. "All right, the second surprise is at the end of the tour. Are you all ready?"
The crowd answered with a "Yes."
Stan decided to hype them up a little more with the "I can't hear you" bit.
"YES!"
Stan smiled. Works every time.
"Then Prepare to enter the Mystery Shack!"
He then led them into the storage room. The boxes had been unpacked, with their contents artfully arranged to be visible. Stan pointed to the Fiji mermaid.
"This beauty was fished up by me and my brother on a sailing exhibition to Fejii about seven years ago. We were lost at sea for three days before our supplies were exhausted. We desperately started fishing, not knowing what we would pull up!"
Stan continued to weave his tails around the oddities in the room. His alarm went off when he finished all the oddities in the room.
"Well, we are almost done with the first tour. The only thing left is our final surprise!"
Stan then went to the side and pulled out a pile of scrolls.
"These are scrolls detailing the history of me and my brother and everything I know about what happened to him. May these remind all of you to look for him. I'll have a large one on the wall later, but the ones I give out today to those who take the tour will be the only ones I give out to people.
"Plus, there are scrolls! Those are cool on principle."
People quickly ran up to gather their copies of the scrolls and moved on out to make room for the next tour, which was already gathering and waiting for their tour to start.
L glgq'w hashfw wklv fkdswhu wr ehfrph vr pxfk vhwxs iru wkh Vkdfn, exw rqfh L vdw grzq dqg vwduwhg zulwlqj, lw nhsw jurzlqj.
L olnh jlylqj Vrrv'v idplob d olihwlph sdvv wr wkh Pbvwhub Vkdfn. Grq'w zruub, Vrrv zrq'w eh exwwhuiolhg rxw ri halvwhqfh.
L zrxog ruljlqdoob kdyh d sruwudlw ri Irug rq wkh zdoo dqg doo wkh wrxulvwv jhwwlqj shuvrqdo frslhv. L wkhq uhdolchg Vwdq glgq'w kdyh wkh wlph wr pdnh rqh wkdw zrxog eh wkdw jrrg.
Hello Gravity Falls! To celebrate the upcoming "Book of Bill", I have decided to make this a Gravity Falls summer! This means I will be posting a chapter of this fanfic once a week, every Friday morning until
August 30th.
13 chapters for those keeping count. I already have about half pre-written, so let's see if I can do it.
I have a if you want to support me and my New Year's resolution of posting one fanfic of 2k words or more weekly. This is also being posted on , AO3, and Tumbler.
: user?u=10132890
: s/14051718/1/luz-appreciation-week-2022-from-1228248
AO3: /works/52823413/chapters/133608991
Tumbler: blog/brianedner
I am also doing fanfic info dumps, think wiki articles that go one episode at a time with some compilations at the end on certain topics that are sorted by episode.
Fanfic info dumps here: 1228248/gallery