BRAINROT

"Give up," Todoroki said. "It will be less painful that way."

"Yo chat, is this skibidi rizz?" the villain asked.

"What? Why do I feel-" Todoroki shook himself. He lit himself on fire and said, "Use your Quirk again and I'll be forced to resort to Endeavor levels of violence."

"Yo chat, am I cooked?"

Todoroki staggered. His hair turned gray, his face turned wrinkly, and even his scar faded. Holding himself up with a cane made of ice, Todoroki said, "Now listen here, you whippersnapper, one does not simply commit crime and escape punishment!"

"Bet."

Todoroki collapsed, clutching his hip. "Help! I've fallen, and I can't get up!"

"Did you pray today?"

Jiro and Ojiro came running. While Ojiro helped Todoroki into a wheelchair, Jiro brandished her earlobes. "Your tyranny ends here! For behold!" She sketched four lines into the ground. "This is loss!"

"That's some sussy imposter pibbly glitch right there."

Jiro's earphone jacks turned into record needles. "What was that? My hearing aid's busted again."

This time, Shoji stepped up to the plate. "Your Quirk won't work on me if I don't have any ears!" He plugged them and made a bunch of eyes. "Now witness my biblically accurate majesty!"

The villain pulled out Andrew Tate out of his pocket. Andrew looked him up and down and said, "Now that's peak alpha grindset right there! See that? He don't got no ears to listen to no bitches ranting at him about equal pay or helping out around the house!"

Shoji's extra eyes spontaneously combusted. While Sato helped put them out, Momo shot Andrew Tate into orbit. "Any last words?"

"Turn down the rizz, baby gronk. Me and the goons are on a major edge sesh."

Momo grimaced and backed away. As the other hero students crowded closer, the villain asked, "English, or Spanish?"

"Uh, English?"

Kaminari went flying off into the horizon.

"I hereby declare that anyone who moves is gay."

Kirishima gritted his teeth. "Like I'll let a little homosexuality stop me from being manly!" He tried to move, but his skin involuntarily hardened.

The villain stalked up to him and smiled. "Boy really think he's Carti."

Kirishima's skin shattered, and his hair turned gray and limp. As he fell, Aoyama triumphantly strode forward.

"Mon ami, could there be anything more French than being the gay?"

"Now that's a quirked up white boy goated with the sauce."

Smited with pure psychic damage, Aoyama's eyes rolled back, and he fell over.

The villain cackled. "You all edged too close to the sun. Now it's time to pay the fanum tax."

As the villain raised their arms, a massive toilet rose from the ground. Izuku leapt to its edge. He held a DVD aloft, shouting, "Here's your Michael Bay movie!"

Izuku cast it into the toilet. The head rising from it let out an inhuman shriek. The ground buckled, forming a sinkhole that swallowed the toilet and the baby gronk villain.

Bakugo torched everything for good measure.

499

Welp, there goes my knees and hips.