CHAPTER 11
24 August 1992 - Hogsmeade - 9:39AM
Luna quietly swung her legs whilst seated on a wooden bench situated just outside Marven's Magical Menagerie. Her father had quickly kipped in to grab a few Augurey feathers shop owner Lark Marven kept specifically on his reserve for him. Xeno enjoyed making his own quills, entrusting only that forged by his hand to tell tales of his truth. Afterwards, they'd head over to Ollivander's to purchase her wand, as well various items she would need once she started at Hogwarts in September. With a fond smile, she recalled Xeno's excitement at the arrival of her letter the week prior, ice gray eyes glowing with pride for his 'darling moonbeam'.
With a quiet sigh, Luna calmly observed the various magicfolk that went about their business, the hum of their excitement filling the air. Their wrackspurts and nargles thrummed and glowed, reflective of their various states of excitement. Especially the younger wizards and witches (many impending firsties) who were purchasing their Hogwarts supplies, many of their parents openly amused at their innocent yet spirited enthusiasm. Curiously enough, Luna noted that some of the adults had nargles which lazily swirled around in a variety of unique patterns just above their heads. 'Must be Occlumens then,' she thought quietly.
She recalled seeing something similar above quite a few heads of the witches and wizards at Jim and Harry's disastrous birthday party, many of whom had been students! Granted she shouldn't have been surprised; many of those children were heirs and heiresses of olde families, and as such, it was standard for them to possess the ability to shield their minds. Interestingly enough, Luna had noticed that there was an interesting amount of variety in both the colors and shapes an Occlumens' nargle sequence could possess.
Eurus' were a series of interconnected circles of aurora borealis luminescence that seemingly danced around her head. Daphne Greengrass' (a lot like Rufus Scrimgeour's) were a deep austere gray, perfectly streamlined and unyielding. Tracey Davis' (like Astoria Greengrass') were a soft pearlescent pink, gently whirling around their heads in a languid manner. Harry's were a deep forest green, an ever-moving ouroboros firmly affixed above his head. Mr. Weasley's were a warm reddish gold, like embers of a low fire. His were fascinating, moving in a pattern a muggle mathematician would've recognized as a Cornu spiral. Lord Potter's were rather lazy-looking, their pattern more wobbly circle than well-wrought ellipsis. Luna just assumed the man was out of practice. His solicitor on the other hand was not; Obediah Prewett's nargles were neatly and tightly stacked on top of each other in two grayish Archimedean spirals.
The most intriguing of the adults had been Miss Evans, Lord Prince, and Lord Gaunt. Lily's nargles were a deep royal purple, wound tightly around her head in a single-helix pattern, constantly moving in sinuous undulation. Lord Prince's were a double helix pattern of cerulean blue, each strand of nargles perfectly intertwined with the other in disciplined order. Lord Gaunt's were a marvel; a triple helix as dark as obsidian, further wound and compressed into a perfect figure-eight. Even more fascinating was that all three had a trail of nargles that stretched from their heads and wrapped around their wrists - left for Lord Gaunt, right for Lily and Severus,. Because Luna hadn't seen any visible object on that part of their bodies, the young witch assumed it had something to do with those being their wand arms.
With a light shake of her head, Luna turned her mental focus to her new friend Eurus Kolumbiko. They hadn't had a chance to regroup before they'd both had to leave the birthday party, and as excited as she'd been to make a new friend, Luna had been admittedly nervous about the new development. Her only friend had been Ginny, well-aware that many of the other children in Ottery St. Catchpole found her entirely too off-putting and "loony" to want to befriend. In the deepest recesses of her heart, she'd assumed that Eurus would turn out to be the same way. Luna needn't have worried; for the first time she could recall, an owl arrived for her, a long letter from Eurus asking if she was alright and if she and her father had made it home safely. Delighted, Luna had written a rather lengthy response back in her favorite rainbow ink, inordinately pleased when Eurus' reply to that letter had been written in the same ink.
The two had exchanged several more written correspondences, sharing many tidbits about themselves. Their astrology signs (Aquarius for Luna, Gemini for Eurus), favorite pre-bedtime snacks, most loved books, and various other topics, before Eurus had formally invited her to hangout at the Kolumbiko Estate in Hampstead. A sprawling thirty-room edifice surrounded by at least sixteen warded acres of expansive land. Eurus - a budding Naturalist ingenue - had almost an three acres of land to herself, which (with the help of the Kolumbiko house elves and her sister Olivia) she'd fashioned into an exotic garden and somewhat animal sanctuary. Species of rare, unusual, and extremely beautiful specimens of plants Luna had only ever read about were housed in their specific magically-created biomes throughout the space, flawlessly integrated with a habitat for whichever creature required that particular environment. As a budding Naturalist herself, Luna had been enthralled at the sights, listening with rapt attention as Eurus - with an arm looped through hers - explained what plants and creatures were housed where.
A large field of wild daises served as home to several knarls, small hedgehog-like beings that were rather playful. Clabberts and bowtruckles occupied several trees, some of the latter taking residence in hers and Eurus' hair as they toured the expansive space. An adjoined 'desert-themed' garden featuring bouncy cactus and electric ghostweed housed quite a few Streelers, their bright color-changing shells a sharp contrast to the corrosive trail of venom they left in their wake. A poffle of puffskeins (some fanged) had taken residence in the magical flower garden, content to eat the various moths that flew about the cornucopia of vervain, asphodel, agapanthus, flutterby bushes, Damask roses, and Valerian. Quite a few mokes were also present, flitting in and around the long stems of giant lavender Eurus had strategically planted to allow them plenty of room to roam. A small flock of brightly plumed Fwoopers had flown directly above the two witchlings during their jaunt, with Eurus explaining the specialized collar her father had created specifically to dampen and mute the sound of their song, lest they drove an unfortunate listener mad. She hadn't liked the thought of them having to be Silenced, not thinking it fair for them to be stripped of their voices because of abilities they had no control over. The collars had been the best compromise.
A large paddock housed free-range Aethonians, all kept under the watchful eyes of two porlocks who served as their magical guardians. The rainforest themed portion of the garden housed domesticated Vampyr Mosps, Umbrella Flowers, along with orchids, giant bamboo, and a plethora of jiggly passion flowers. There was even an ice terrarium that hosted frosted salamanders, along with Thaumatagorias and snowdrops as large as trees, some bred to be bioluminescent.
A giant pond marked the end of the garden proper, surrounded by glowing shards of amethyst meant to keep the water pure. It was filled with muskrills that glowed all sorts of neon colors, miniaturized shrakes, mackled malaclaws, and venomoid lobalugs, with imperial dragonflies occasionally skirting across its surface. Luna had mentioned seeing Gulping Plimpies and Dabberblimps in the pond, piquing Eurus' curiosity. Her friend had asked her to describe the creatures she saw, going as far to jot down the descriptions Luna described to her. Curious, the young Lovegood had asked why Eurus wasn't as dismissive of her as most were of her admittedly strange…abilities. Her friend's answer had been rather sobering:
"There are many aspects of the natural world - both magical and mundane - that are still a mystery to us, in spite of our mastery of would-be 'supernatural abilities' and the many scientific advancements of the muggle world. Species, like thestrals, demiguises, and tebo possess the capacity for invisibility, only allowing themselves to be seen in very specific contexts. I reckon those who were the first to discover their existences were foolishly deemed to be mad by those who were unable to see for themselves. Just because only you can see these various creatures now doesn't mean you'll be the only one who will know of their existence in the future. If anything, you get to claim first dibs on their existence, book credits and all." She'd winked cheekily then, causing Luna to erupt in giggles.
"Hello little moon!" Eurus' bright voice sounded to Luna's right, startling her out of her thoughts. With a bright smile, she gave her friend a firm hug, Eurus hugging her back just as firmly. She was wearing the radish barrettes Luna had made for her, each clipped around the six pigtail-style braids she wore her waist-length hair in. She was accompanied by her mother Lady Seraphina Kolumbiko (née Gatwech), a regal and imposing woman with dark skin and waist length ink-black curls, with eyes and a smile as warm as Eurus'. Luna curtsied politely, rewarded with an approving nod. "Wonderful to see you again dear child. You're not here by yourself are you?" Her expression wrinkled in concern.
"No m'am! Here with my dad, he just popped in the Menagerie to get some Augurey feathers for his quills. He should be done in a mo'." In that exact moment, Xeno exited the store and made his way over, exchanging boisterous pleasantries with Eurus and Seraphina. With that done, all four made their way over to Ollivanders.
Ollivanders - 10:06AM
"Ah, here we are! Ten-inch cedar and dragon heartstring from a particularly feisty Hebridean Black. Give it a go!" Ollivander gently placed the wand into Eurus' eager hand, her dark brown eyes glowing in anticipation. With a gentle wave, the wand emitted sparkling butterflies of pure gold that took turns flying around the heads of everyone in attendance, much to their collective delight.
"Brava!" exclaimed Oliivander, as Luna and Seraphina beamed at a brightly smiling Eurus. "Cedar is an excellent wood for those possessing perspicacity, perception, and unrelenting endurance," said Ollivander, his silvery eyes penetrating in the low light of his shop. "Things are not always what they seem, and you are capable of seeing them for what they are. Your wand will serve you well Miss Kolumbiko." The witchling in question nodded firmly while Seraphina quickly paid for the wand and a matching holster.
"Now," Ollivander quickly turned to face Luna. "Your turn, let's see what I have in store for you…" Suddenly nervous, Luna quickly swallowed down her discomfort, hoping the process went as smoothly for her as it had for Eurus (she'd gotten her match on the second try). She felt her dad give her shoulder a warm squeeze from his position behind her, causing her to relax a bit.
"Try this, eight-inch blackthorn with dragon heartstring from a Chinese Fireball. Strong and bold." The wand was not a match, Luna quickly giving it back with a grimace. It'd felt like pushing her magic through a solid brick wall that actively pushed her back. Ollivander quickly put it away
"What about this; nine and a half inch poplar with unicorn hair. Springy, and very reliable!" It was much better, emitting a small puff of bluish smoke. But Luna knew it wasn't a perfect match. Ollivander apparently agreed, snatching the wand from her hand.
"Let's see here…" Ollivander tapped his gnarled fingers across several boxes, quietly muttering to himself. "Aha!" With a flourish, he pulled out another box and handed Luna another wand of caramel brown wood bearing a deep brown leather-wrapped handle. "Twelve inch hazel with unicorn hair." Taking the wand, Luna felt a gust of cool air wash over her, sending a light chill over her body. A few drops of crystal white water fell out of the wand's tip when she waved it. Ollivander didn't look too pleased at that, before quickly grabbing the wand and placing it back.
"How about this one? Ten and three-quarter inch vine with unicorn hair. Unfailingly loyal, best suited for a visionary." Luna felt a soft warmth encircle her heart and fill her mind as she waved the wand, just…there. Resting, as if it were gauging her power and ability. A few beats passed, before a few small sparks popped from the wand, and the warmth left her heart and mind as one. The wand was not a fit. Ollivander took the wand back, looking a touch annoyed at the lack of a match. He bent down behind the counter, muttering indecipherably.
"Hm…perhaps…yes, yes." Luna grew discomforted at the feverish light that entered the ancient man's eyes. "Here we are; thirteen inch silver lime with dragon heartstring." The wand was beautiful, creamy white ivory inlaid with swirling gold spirals that shimmered like the stars in the night sky. Unbeknownst to Luna (and the room's other occupants), Seraphina leveled a keenly sharp look in her direction once she took hold of the wand. Euphoria like Luna had never known filled every aspect of her being, she felt as though she were flying higher than the farthest reaching clouds in the sky. Her blood sang, rising to heat her skin. Without conscious thought or effort she waved the wand in a sweeping arch, pure silver sparks erupted in a veritable waterfall that encircled her form, ruffling her hair and illuminating the store in a cool glow of bright silvery light.
"Aha! There you have it! Oh well done Miss Lovegood, well done!" Ollivander's joyous expression turned thoughtful. "Silver lime, the wood associated with Seers and those well-equipped in Legilimency." Luna and Xeno's brows rose, whilst Seraphina's gaze intensified. "In times of olde, it was also believed that those who wielded wands of silver lime could see through the very fabrics of Magic and Reality, see into the spaces between those spaces…" Luna shivered at his words. "And with a core of dragon heartstring, from that of an ancient Antipodean Opaleye… you will know its loyalty until your dying day, and perhaps, even beyond." Another shudder went through Luna, before Xeno cleared his throat and quickly paid for her wand and accompanying holster.
Their business complete, the group of four quickly exited the store and went about purchasing the other supplies needed before the two rising Firsties began their tenure at Hogwarts. At one point whilst they were in Madam Malkins, Seraphina politely excused herself to "check in on an order of stamps at the Post Office." Naturally, she had been lying through her teeth.
Florean Fortescue's - 12:12PM
"Bloody hell Harry!"
Theo's incredulous expression was mirrored on Blaise and Neville's faces, as all three listened with varying degrees of horrified shock at Harry's recounting of the Grindylow attack. He'd felt bad for not being able to tell his friends through letters, but Lily had been insistent. The risk of a Death Eater's house elf interfering with his mail was too great, in spite of the copious security charms one could utilize. Elves were powerful and oft underestimated beings, and in the case of one allied with one of the Dark Lord's followers, it was best to err on the side of caution.
"Well thankfully you're all healed up," said Blaise casually, though the concern in his eyes was obvious. Snorting, Harry thanked him for his kind consideration.
"How is your muggle friend doing? Davy you said?" Harry smiled gratefully at Neville.
"He's doing well, the Obliviation squad made sure neither he nor any of the muggles in attendance remembered a thing. The Tonks healed him perfectly, not an injury in sight. We got ice-cream a week ago to catch up before he gets ready to get to boarding school. My mum's promised to keep a few extra tabs on him, just in case." Neville firmly nodded, pleased with the response.
"So…which death eater do you reckon is after you?" Blaise's question posed quite a possibility of answers.
"Any one of them really, there's quite a few I can imagine don't like the Boy-Who-Lived equally halfblooded Slytherin brother. There's quite a few bigots who I'd imagine want to kill me and are clever enough to use a house elf to do their dirty work. "Speaking of which…" he turned and leveled a significant look at Theo. "How have things been at Chateau Malfoy?" His heavy-handed statement caused Theo to snort in amusement.
"Possibly. I am not really sure though… granted the Malfoys are still bigoted pureblood snobs, but I'm not really all too sure." His expression turned contemplative.
"Have they been treating you well?" asked Harry worriedly.
"Very well actually, Lucius has been an excellent host. Very patient, accommodating, and like I said, a very good host. I've got my own suite of rooms in the Manor, and I get plenty of privacy as needed. He's taught me to fence, given riding lessons, hunting lessons, and even some dueling lessons. He tutors Draco and I too. The big four; DADA, Potions, Transfiguration and Charms. He got Os on his NEWTS for all four areas, and he's a surprisingly good enough teacher. He does have a house elf named Dobby, but he's a rather…twitchy and all together off. His voice squeaks all the time, and Lord Malfoy doesn't really trust him to do much beyond serve tea, do some household chores, clean up after Draco, carry luggage, shopping bags, that sort of thing. He's surprisingly polite enough to Dobby, though I can imagine he'd think it in poor taste to publicly mistreat an elf. Malfoy ego and all that." Blaise, Harry, and Neville all snorted in unison, which in turn caused them all to start laughing.
"On the other hand, I will say that Mrs. Malfoy's elf Mowgli is really…strange. Rather nasty, looks like it's constantly plotting the murder of anyone who isn't named Narcissa Malfoy. It's nice enough to Draco, but I guess he's the exception since he's her son. You can tell he hates Lord Malfoy though, always looks like he'd strangle him when he gives an order (Harry's eyebrows shot up). It's possible that he may be involved in some scheme to kill you, so I'll do my best to keep an extra eye on him for the rest of my time in the Manor. Granted, he and Mrs. Malfoy are gone quite a lot; she's constantly out shopping in Paris, vacationing in magical Geneva, enjoying the magical opera in Bregenz, those kinds of things. Malfoy senior travels a lot for business, quite a bit of which involves tutoring Draco in his 'heir duties' whatever that entails. He's also the British Representative for the ICW, so he's constantly abroad performing…whatever duties an ICW representative performs."
"So I take it Lord and Lady Malfoy are not close," said Blaise teasingly.
"No, they're not. At all." The boys were taken aback by the seriousness of Theo's tone. "They sleep in separate wings of the house, and when they take meals together, they sit at opposite ends of a twenty-foot-long table and barely speak to one another. They… fought a lot (Harry's eyes widened at that), purely verbal in front of company, though I doubt Draco would want to show his face in Summerisles anytime soon, caught in the middle of their tantrums." All four boys laughed at that.
"How is Draco by the way?" asked Harry.
"Draco…is actually more tolerable." Three identical looks of shock met his statement. "I know, trust me, I was shocked as well. I'm a hundred percent certain he's been getting Occlumency training as part of his heir duties with his dad. He actually thinks before he speaks, and while he's still a self-obsessed snob (Neville snorted), he's decidedly more…Slytherin about it, for lack of a better term." Harry stared thoughtfully at Theo's statement, filing his assessment away for later. If it was in fact true that Draco was making a concerted effort at turning a new tide, it would be worth reassessing his previously acrimonious relationship with the young Malfoy.
"Anyway, I'll keep an eye on how everything goes at the Manor for you as best I can. I know Mrs. Malfoy is spending a weekend with the Warringtons and later going to Milan with Madame Bletchley. She's also meant to be going to Monaco with Hecuba Goyle, and her family is responsible for raising Amy Wilkes, daughter of the notorious Toymaker." Harry blinked at that statement, recalling his morning meeting with his mother and solicitors at Gringotts where he'd formally confirmed his status as Living Heir Apparent to House Wilkes, granting him access to the vault. That would be another secret best shared for much much later.
"All of those families are blood purists, with Wilkes being the staunchest and proudest Death Eater of them all. I don't need to repeat the depth of his abilities." All four turned serious, no doubt in recollection of the disaster that had been the joint Potter birthday party. The death toll was officially at six, with several more critically injured and undergoing treatment. "Granted, I don't think the Bletchleys or Warringtons are marked or anything, but they are believers and they do have elves, so you never know."
"Hang on a minute…Lady Malfoy goes by Mrs. Malfoy? Why?!" Harry's incredulous statement gave Theo pause. "It's an old inheritance thing," replied Neville. "When a pureblood wife of a Sacred Twenty Eight family opts to be called 'Mrs.' as opposed to 'Lady' or 'Madame', it either signifies that she is of a higher-ranked house marrying into lesser house, or, that she is marrying into an equally ranked house with several monetary stipulations in place that grant her the same financial access and freedoms as the Lord, with clear-cut clauses that grant her half or more of his Gringotts vault if they are to divorce. And she is given carte blanche to initiate a divorce, as taboo as the whole thing is considered in our world." Harry nodded contemplatively, before thanking Neville for his most astute Wizengamot inheritance lesson.
Graciously accepting his thanks, Neville made Harry promise that should he ever find himself in another murder attempt situation, he'd find some way to let his friends know. "I don't care if 'the rooster crowed at midnight' is code for 'somebody tried to feed Harry to a pack of feral Grindylows' or some equally mad creature. You let us know, got it?" Harry nodded firmly, once more grateful to have such brilliant friends.
Together, all four nullified the various Silencing and other warding charms they'd placed over Florean Fortescue's bathroom, before making their exit.
Flourish & Blotts - 1:13PM
Justin tried (and failed) to swallow down his amusement at Hermione's obvious annoyance at the ensuing spectacle that was Gilderoy Lockhart's book signing. He and his Gryffindor friend had convened at the bookstore after their brief pow-wow with Harry and their friends in Florean Fortescue, making their way over earlier than needed to quickly gather their supplies and take time to peruse the aisles for books they otherwise would have missed if they'd mail-ordered (which all their Slytherin friends had done and would be picking up in person). Upon receipt of her Second Year book list, Hermione had done her due by researching exactly who Gilderoy Lockhart was, and what his exploits entailed. Needless to say, she had been very unimpressed.
It seemed that not only was the self-professed "socialite, bon vivant, globe-trotting adventurer, and valiant warrior against the forces of darkness" incredibly underqualified to be their new DADA professor (he hadn't a Mastery to speak of), he was also fond of gross embellishment of his adventures. Always rescuing some obscure village in some far-flung corner of the world from the scourge of some kind of rampaging monster. And some of the spells he used! Heavy-handed, overly flashy, and ridiculously convoluted, some of which she swore the man was making up! The entire Holidays with Hags novella (she'd refused to call it a textbook) was filled with an entire chapter of the man foolishly utilizing the Colovaria charm to change the skin of the hag Merihima from green to all manner of garish colors, which had somehow caused her skin to melt away! Hermione had thoroughly researched all uses of the charm in her Standard Book of Spells (a real textbook), and none had mentioned any offensive skin-melting applications. She snorted in spite of herself, causing Justin to finally laugh outright.
"I'm terribly sorry Hermione, but I practically hear your displeasure," said Justin, eyes twinkling in delight. "Granted, Lockhart's books are rather…heavy-handed in the creative department, they aren't nearly as bad as The Adventures of the Boy-Who-Lived!" Hermione giggled in recollection of the 'Jim Potter memoir', which was really just a fiction novel pretending to be non-fiction. Wizarding publishers seemed completely lacking in any regard for properly recognizing the difference between fiction and non-fiction, sometimes even stealing plots from muggle novels (The Hardy Boys were a solid constant) to pass off as magical ones. One in particular published all manner of 'adventure novels' where Jim Potter would get separated from his father, wandering off, and having all sorts of silly adventures among Muggles before returning home in time for his dear daddy to tuck him safely into bed. It was wildly successful among wizarding children... until James found out about it and sued. But after winning the court case, he (and Obediah) realized how much money was to be made from such books, so they licensed Jim Potter's name and likeness to that same publishing house for the production of more Boy-Who-Lived books with the majority of the profits going into the Charitable Trust.
Soon, they were joined by Harry, Theo, Blaise, and Neville, and their group ascended to watch the tableau from the second-floor landing. Harry was rather surprised to see that the Hogwarts students were outnumbered by an absurdly huge coven of middle-aged witches who were filling the store while waiting for Lockhart's book-signing to start. In the middle of the store (obstructing foot traffic, Harry noted irritably) was a large table with stacks of new books ready to be autographed. Surrounding it were several large moving pictures of the man himself – Gilderoy Lockhart - smiling and winking at the crowd. Harry's immediate impression was an even more foppish iteration of Obediah Prewett, which immediately set his teeth on edge. Elaborately over-styled auburn hair, overly smooth almost plastic-like skin, a baby blue velvet and satin suit and matching cloak, and teeth that gleamed a preternatural white. Harry wondered how in Merlin, Morgana, and Circe's names anyone could take such a man seriously as a "wizarding hero." Then he recalled how many people considered Jim a hero for something he supposedly did as a baby, and wondered how many others were credulous enough to believe that the stories from the "Boy-Who-Lived Adventures" were actually true.
The answer to that last question came soon enough. Harry noticed his older brother ascending the stairs towards him, accompanied by Ron, Lavender, Ginny, and Dean Thomas (with whom Ginny had struck up a conversation). Along the way, Jim stopped to give a few comments to passing reporters and to pose for a few pictures. An excited little man in a mauve top hat who introduced himself as Daedalus Diggle stopped Jim and asked him to autograph a copy of Jim Potter and The Night of the Werewolf. To Harry and his friends' amusement, it seemed clear that the silly man actually thought the children's book was nonfiction. Curiously, Harry also noticed that Jim looked exceptionally annoyed for just an instant, before quickly schooling his expression into one of faux humility and dashing boyish charm. Impressed, Harry wondered if Jim had finally taken up some Occlumency training to tamper down his Git-Who-Lived tendencies.
Harry also noticed that Ginny stood a few feet behind him with her arms crossed while watching the exchange, eyes lightly flinty in disapproval. From what he'd surmised at the party, Ginny was still very much displeased with Jim's treatment of Ron, a fact she'd made subtly obvious by her light barbs at the elder Potter Twin. Upon running into them en route to the bookstore, the Weasley Twins had mentioned that she'd read all of Jim's books in her earlier youth, thinking them to be true tales of a dashing wizarding hero. Now that she was older and had actually gotten a chance to see the real Jim Potter, Ginny was very well aware that things were not as they seemed.
"Harry," Jim said coolly as he drew near.
"Hello, Brother Dearest!" Harry replied amiably. "How was Knockturn Alley? I'm curious to hear all about it since the papers all think I'm a future dark wizard. How ironic that you actually got to visit it before me." The Twins had also let him know that Jim had somehow gotten lost in Knockturn due to some blunder (of Jim's own doing) with the Floo.
"Very funny, snake. There was a Floo mishap and I just landed there by accident. I did have one interesting encounter, though." His expression turned devious. "I ended up in Borgin & Burkes' antique shop and while I was hiding from the owners, your friend Draco and his Death Eater father showed up. I didn't hear everything they said, but the gist was that they were wanting to sell off some dark artifacts in case they got raided."
"Hmm." Harry cocked his head curiously. "Actually, Brother Mine, the only thing I find interesting about that otherwise tedious story is the amusing suggestion that Draco and I are friends. Believe it or not, it is possible and actually quite common for Slytherins to be polite and cordial to people they actively dislike or even hate. In fact, when in public, we're usually much more polite to our enemies than we are to our friends. Isn't that right, Blaise? Theo?"
"You said it, Scarhead!" said Theo cheerfully.
"Whatever, Potty, I don't even care," said Blaise with affected boredom. Justin, Hermione, and Neville graciously covered up their giggles, causing Jim to fume some more.
"So you're not even concerned that your... house-mate is dealing in dark artifacts and may have had something to do with the attack on our home?!"
"And pray tell, what am I meant to do about that, hm? Chase down Draco Malfoy and perform a citizen's arrest? Drop an anonymous tip on the Auror hotline?" Jim's face slowly began to turn red in his mounting anger. "Why aren't you out talking to our father who is also the Sr. Auror assigned to oversee all these raids on former Death Eater's homes that are all over the papers?" Harry smiled with all his teeth. "Or…maybe… you plan to investigate the Malfoys yourself, perhaps accompanied by your assistant and sidekick, Slappy the Crime-Solving House Elf."
Jim's nostrils flared alarmingly wide at that jibe, and he started to respond angrily when Lavender stepped between the two brothers. "Oh stop it, both of you! You'll just cause a scene and get us kicked out, and I don't want to miss Gilderoy Lockhart over your ridiculous family drama!"
Before either brother could retort, a door opened and in walked the store manager followed by the man of the hour: Gilderoy Lockhart in the flesh. The waiting crowd immediately broke out into loud applause which the man eagerly soaked up as he waved to everyone and flashed the smile that, according to Lavender, was "the five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award." And Harry had to admit that it was indeed an impressive set of teeth. The man looked every bit as overly manicured and Obediah-esque in real-life, causing him to wrinkle his nose. Beside him, Hermione's lips thinned, once more wondering what on earth had possessed Headmaster Dumbledore and the Hogwarts School Board to approve this vapid celebrity as a schoolteacher. As the man made his way through the crowd towards the signing table, Lavender reached into her purse and produced a set of omnioculars, much to Jim's annoyance.
"I cannot believe you are such a fan-girl for that ponce," he snapped. "My dad says half the things in his books are completely made up." For once, Hermione and Harry found themselves in complete agreement with the Git.
"Oh who cares about those stupid books!" she said without taking her eyes away from the omnioculars. "I just want to know how he exfoliates. And just look at that hair! He must have spent two hours at least styling it but there's not even a hint of any product!"
Harry looked at Lavender incredulously. "No product! Impossible!" Then, he made a grab for her omnioculars, but she slapped his hand away and shushed him as Lockhart prepared to speak. Harry rubbed his hand as he turned towards the author, and he was surprised to notice that Lockhart was looking back up at their group. As soon as they made eye contact, however, the celebrated wizard turned his attention back to the crowd downstairs waiting for his autograph. 'That can't be good,' thought Harry.
"Ladies and gentle-wizards! Thank you all for coming out to see me on this most special occasion. I have one or two announcements before we begin the signing. To start, I would like to point out a few very special guests who I am honored to have with us. First, someone who needs no introduction ... but, ha-Ha!" Hermione looked appalled at the ridiculously overly affected laugh, nose visibly wrinkling. "I shall provide one anyway! Friends, I give you the Savior of our nation, the Bane of You-Know-Who, the Heir to House Potter, the legendary Boy-Who-Lived – Jim Potter!" And with that, he gestured towards the young Gryffindor and his friends up on the second floor balcony. Jim hesitated for just an instant (and Harry noticed that once again there was a flash of irritation) before the mask slipped back into place, and he smiled and waved for the loudly applauding crowd as photography bulbs flashed. Off to the side, Harry and his friends also applauded politely, though with just barely enough enthusiasm to ward off accusations of insincerity. Ginny was doing her best impression of a slow golf clap. Privately, Harry was fascinated to have now twice seen Jim's "Boy-Who-Lived mask" in action as he interacted with fans, and he was at once reminded of Luna Lovegood's cryptic remarks to that very effect. He'd always assumed Jim had reveled in his fame, especially being raised by the Git Supreme that was James Potter. Perhaps that had been true once. But it seemed since Dark-Quirrell and the birthday attack, it increasingly seemed that the title of "Boy-Who-Lived" was a burden that Jim no longer enjoyed shouldering.
"But, my friends," Lockhart continued, "there are many kinds of heroes. Some, like young Jim here and, of course, myself," the wizard put his hand over his heart and bowed slightly in a calculated show of humility, "boldly stand forth as beacons of hope and courage to the world at large. But others act more quietly yet no less heroically. Many of you have read of the shocking events that took place at Potter Manor not three weeks ago. But one detail which I found to be perhaps the most extraordinary was left out of that coverage, undoubtedly due to lack of space rather than any deliberate oversight by the editorial staff, I'm sure." Lockhart glanced over at the reporters from the Prophet who were giving one another confused looks, but then, he continued without pause.
"I have spoken to several aurors of my acquaintance about those events, and they all agree that there was very nearly a fourth fatality on that awful day. Rufus Scrimgeour, our esteemed Chief Auror and one of the nation's highest ranking law enforcement officials, was severely injured and would have surely died had it not been for the quick thinking and steely resolve of three young Hogwarts students, two of whom I see here with us today. Ladies and gentle-wizards, please join me in giving a round of applause to the younger brother of the Boy-Who-Lived, Mr. Harry Potter, and the brave Gryffindor Lion Ms. Hermione Granger!"
With that, and to Harry and Hermione's mutual astonishment, Lockhart pointed right at them and then began clapping profusely, and he was quickly joined by nearly everyone in the store except Jim, who was looking back and forth between Lockhart, Harry, and Hermione with a mixture of shock and anger, an expression which remained on his face right up until it was captured on film by a photographer. At that point, Jim's media savvy kicked in, and he immediately smiled and started clapping along with everyone else. Hermione was scandalized at the attention, but she was clever enough to hide it behind a mask of charming noblesse that would make Madame Milburga very proud.
"Over here you three!" yelled one of the photographers. "Get closer together so we can get you in the same shot." The two Potters and young Granger were visibly reluctant to do so until Justin and Lavender from opposite directions practically shoved them together, with Jim and Harry flanking Hermione in the center. The cameras started flashing, and Harry summoned up the old painful fake smile he hadn't bothered to use since early in his First Year. He resolved then and there to spend time in front of a mirror practicing his smile until he could reflexively produce one that seemed genuine without making his jaw ache. Her etiquette lessons kicking in, Hermione smiled in a manner that was at once polite and self-effacing, hoping it translated as such on camera. 'Gilderoy Lockhart better count his days,' she thought furiously.
"Well," Harry said through his teeth, "this is just... excruciating."
"Yeah," Jim replied through a much more practiced though no less artificial grin. "Welcome to my world, snake."
"Both of you shut up so we can get this nonsense over with!" Both boys started at Hermione's statement, before doing exactly as she'd suggested.
After far too many seconds of this, Lockhart finally spoke up, drawing the attention of the crowd back to himself.
"Yes, the sight of these three young heroes, a golden trio of our time. Fills my heart with pride." He clutched at his heart in an affected manner, causing many of the women in attendance to swoon and titter. Hermione just barely swallowed down her disgust. "Pride and excited anticipation, which brings me to my second announcement. No doubt many of you who are Hogwarts parents have noticed that several of my works are listed as required texts for Defense Against the Dark Arts in the coming year. Perhaps you assumed that the new teacher might be one of my adoring fans, ha-Ha! But the truth is even more exciting! For I can now reveal that I, Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin (Third Class) and Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, have accepted the post of ... Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for this coming term!"
That announcement was met by gasps of surprise followed by more applause from the crowd. While Lavender seemed quite excited about the news, the other students around her clapped listlessly with little to no enthusiasm, already surmising his impending Professor status. For that matter, Harry, Jim, and Hermione didn't even clap at all, with the latter just glowering. The brothers just looked at each other, as if bonding in mutual disdain for the pretentious dandy who would be teaching what they both considered the most important class in the curriculum.
"And with that announcement out of the way, let us proceed. These books won't sign themselves, after all. Well, I suppose they can, what with magic and all, but that's not what you're here to pay for, ha-Ha!" With that, Lockhart moved around the table and sat down in an incredibly ostentatious throne-like chair provided by the bookstore. Then, he pulled out a massive ostrich quill pen - that had apparently been dyed blue to match the color scheme of his outfit - and waited for the first customer to step up for his autograph. That customer was Molly Weasley, and she did not have any books in her hands to sign but rather a piece of paper. Even up in the balcony, the Hogwarts logo at the top was plainly visible. Ron and Ginny both gasped, the blood draining from their faces.
"What in Morgana's name does she think she's doing?!" asked Ginny incredulously. Although it was too far to hear clearly, Molly was holding out the paper to Lockhart and pointing at something on it. They did manage to make out the words "five children" from whatever she was saying.
"Oh no," said Ron shakily. "Oh no, no, no, no, no. Please tell me this is a nightmare and I'll wake up in a minute back at the Burrow."
"What is it?" asked Jim in concern.
"As you can clearly see," replied Ginny with a touch of asperity Jim didn't seem to pick up on, "our mother... is arguing with Gilderoy Lockhart about the expense of having to buy thirty-five DADA text books. In front of half of Wizarding Britain!" Her eyes flashed in irritation.
Ron ran his hands over his face. "I'm just gonna stand here and be horrified with my eyes closed. Let me know when it's over."
Surprisingly, however, Lockhart did not appear in the least offended, nor was he responding in his former bombastic voice that could be heard across the store. Instead, he took the Hogwarts letter from Molly, studied it with a grave expression for a few minutes, nodded at Molly and then rose from his seat. "Ladies and gentle-wizards. I do apologize, but a matter has just been brought to my attention that must be rectified before we can proceed. Please be patient for just a few minutes more." With that, he left the table to approach the manager, Wilbur Blotts, who suddenly looked a bit nervous.
"That's it," said Ron. "Mom is going to be dragged out of Flourish & Blotts by the aurors. I cannot imagine how this day could get more embarrassing."
"Never say things like that!" hissed Blaise. "I swear, I keep telling people not to tempt the gods of irony, but they don't listen!" Ginny leveled a curious stare at him, seemingly piqued.
"Quiet, both of you," said Harry. "This is getting interesting."
By that point, Lockhart had made his way over to Mr. Blotts and begun talking with him. They were too far away for Harry to hear anything, but the body language was fascinating. Lockhart talked reasonably with a cheerful expression on his face while gesturing amiably with his hands. Blotts suddenly looked a bit sick. Lockhart pointed to the cash register at the front of the store and then laughed as if he'd told a hilarious joke. Blotts suddenly looked a bit frightened. Lockhart put his hand on Mr. Blott's shoulder and gave him a look of polite concern as he spoke. Blotts shuddered visibly and then shook his head to say "no" to something. Then, Lockhart patted Mr. Blotts warmly on the back before returning to the signing desk while Blotts ran off gesturing wildly at several of his employees. Finally, Lockhart addressed the crowd.
"Ladies and Gentle-wizards, I do apologize to you all. It appears that a miscommunication has been made betwixt myself and the good Mr. Blotts that has led to an unfortunate error in the Hogwarts student letters. I take full responsibility as I am between secretaries at the moment and have allowed myself to become slapdash with my correspondence. Please do not hold my blunder against Mr. Blotts or his fine establishment."
With that, everyone looked at Blotts, who returned a wild glare and a slightly hysterical smile that informed all the Slytherins present and half the Ravenclaws that the "blunder" had indeed been entirely Blotts's fault and that, most likely, it was not a "blunder" but rather a deliberate attempt to cheat someone that had just blown up in his face. Whether he'd been cheating Lockhart, the Hogwarts students and their parents, or all of the above was unknown. Meanwhile, Lockhart picked up one of the books from the table and held it up to the crowd.
"You see, friends, the books on sale today which I will be autographing are special editions of seven of my prior publications as well as my newest work, Magical Me." Behind the man, one of the large moving pictures of Gilderoy Lockhart held up a copy of said book and smiled at the crowd while showing off the cover. The book cover also contained a moving picture of Gilderoy Lockhart which gave a thumbs-up gesture to the crowd. Then, the two images of Lockhart gave exaggerated winks to one another. Hermione hissed in displeasure, causing Justin to cough out another laugh.
"In addition to new leather-bound covers and a personalized autograph by your humble wordsmith, each new edition of the books on the Hogwarts supply list also contains a special added bonus." He opened the back of the book, and from inside a pocket built into the back cover, he removed a smaller, soft-cover booklet. "Each book comes with a special removable appendix bound in a beautiful leatherette cover which provides detailed information on the various dark creatures discussed within the larger works – their histories, strengths, weaknesses and other peculiarities – as well as an in-depth discussion of each spell used within the book during the course of my efforts to bring those foul creatures to heel. It is the appendices of the seven books which are required for my future students at Hogwarts, a fact which should have been made clear in the Hogwarts supply letters but sadly was not. Now, the reason for the five-galleon retail price for each of these books - aside from the pocket part and, of course, the intrinsic value of my autograph, ha-Ha! - is that part of the profits from each sale will go to St. Mungo's Hospital, specifically to provide additional funding for the Janus Thickey Long Term and Permanent Care Ward." At that, many in the crowd began to applaud Lockhart's generosity and civic spirit.
"However, I would never be so crass as to make any child's education conditional on a charitable donation, even to a cause as worthy as that. I realize that many of you have already purchased copies of one or more of the books on sale today in earlier editions and may not wish to purchase another copy either for charity or for the appendix. Likewise, many of you may have more than one child at Hogwarts, and it would be foolishly redundant to ask you to purchase multiple copies. For those reasons, I have arranged for copies of the various appendices to be available separately, with all seven booklets bound together into a single volume. These can be found at the front of the store, where Mr. Blotts has kindly placed them underneath the counter in a box marked 'cleaning supplies' which is also covered with a heavy sheet, no doubt to prevent them from getting dusty, I suppose. These student appendices may be purchased separately at a cost of..."
Lockhart paused at that point and snapped his fingers several times as if he'd forgotten something. "My apologies everyone. My mind's just like a sieve today! Mr. Blotts, how much are the separate appendices retailing for? Was it two galleons?" He smiled at Mr. Blotts. "Or only one?"
Blotts was silent for a second before he spoke. "One galleon, Mr. Lockhart," he said in a flat, somewhat defeated voice. The crowd murmured appreciatively at the remarkably low price.
"Ah, yes. One galleon per booklet. Or five galleons per book if you want to purchase one of the complete new edition books with an appendix for that book included in the back." He turned back to Molly and beamed at her. "Except for you, dear lady. For bringing this regrettable mistake to my attention, I insist on giving you a full copy of all seven books, plus a copy of Magical Me, at no cost!" He flashed a brilliant smile of overly white teeth, causing Molly to gasp and titter like a schoolgirl.
"Now then, dear lady. To whom should I make out the inscription."
"Oh, er, make it out to Molly. Um, she's my daughter."
Up in the balcony, Harry summoned all of his reserves of Occlumency to avoid laughing out loud at that last exchange, especially when Ginny's expression grew completely scandalized. Justin, and Theo did not have such reservations, snickering at the spectacle. Blaise, meanwhile, stared unblinkingly in Lockhart's direction, as if suddenly fascinated by the wizarding author.
"Do they have any special spells we can learn at Hogwarts to erase this from my memory forever? I don't believe a standard Obliviation will be enough," said Ginny sourly.
"They're heavily restricted," said Ron bitterly. "Maybe we could just take turns hitting each other in the head with bricks until we get amnesia." Ginny looked like she was seriously considering the idea.
"Well, on the bright side," said Jim, "based on all his charity work and how he responded to Mrs. Weasley, he doesn't seem to be evil or anything."
"Please!" said Harry contemptuously. "All that...guff only makes him more suspicious in my book!"
"Oh shut up, Harry," snapped Lavender. "You're just jealous of his hair!"
"Ugh please, as if!" And with that, Harry (unknowingly) flipped his wavy shoulder length locks in a manner uncannily similar to an adolescent American valley girl, causing his friends to snicker in amused unison. Bidding their goodbyes, Ron and Ginny quickly made their exit to reunite with their mother, in the hopes of staving off another embarrassing debacle.
After the initial Lockhart spectacle concluded, Harry and co quickly became bored with watching middle-aged housewives ask for autographs from the man, all the while gushing madly about how noble and courageous he was, and so they withdrew to a private reading room to discuss their observations. Harry and Hermione thought Lockhart was a fraud and a con-man (Neville was inclined to agree), while Blaise was convinced there was more to him than met the eye. Theo and Justin were confident that the man was neither a Death Eater nor a clever disguise for the Dark Lord himself, which could only be a step up from what they'd had the year before.
After almost another hour, the friends went downstairs to complete their purchases before parting ways and saying their goodbyes Hermione and Justin made their way to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop for some last minute purchases. Theo accompanied Harry and Blaise to regroup with Augusta (their adult chaperone for the day), having a bit more time to hang out before reuniting with the Malfoys for the remainder of summer break.
Some Moments Later…
Harry stood aghast with his equally appalled friends as they watched Lucius Malfoy and Arthur Weasley engage in a brawl! Both were surprisingly good at throwing each other a well-aimed punch, neither giving the other an inch as they, for lack of a better term, kicked each other's arses. The Weasley Twins and Jim were eagerly cheering on Mr. Weasley, as Ginny, Ron, Percy, and Molly stood watching with varying degrees of shock. Draco was cheering on his dad with just as much vigor, even giving pointers on how Lord Malfoy could really "rough the no-good Weasley up!"
Harry had witnessed the entire thing; just as he and his friends had been exiting the bookstore, Malfoy and son crossed paths with the Weasleys and Jim as they were leaving. Very heated words were exchanged between the two fathers on what constituted a "respectable wizard" and in the blink of an eye, the two were rolling around on the ground like two surprisingly well-skilled toddlers. The spectacle went on for a few moments before Hagrid suddenly appeared, scowling as he literally grabbed each by the scruff of the neck to separate them. Then, the half-giant scolded the two wizards for "making a fool out themselves in front of children!" before setting them aside and physically standing between them.
"I don't need to be told what to do by the likes of you, Professor Hagrid." Lucius' expression was scathing as he dusted off his robes and smoothed down his ruffled platinum locks. Arthur didn't bother, just continued to glare at Lucius with his hands still curled into fists. "I've already wasted precious time dallying with the help," he paused to sneer in Arthur's direction. "Time is money, a concept Weasley here will never grasp. Fitting, since his ancestors failed to grasp that concept too. After all, squalor is the Weasley way." Arthur snarled and started towards Lucius, only to be physically stopped by Hagrid laying a meaty hand on his shoulder. With a mighty sneer Lucius barked for Draco to make their way over to Summerisles, and both father and son strutted off. The minute he left, Molly began scolding her now calmer husband for his "ridiculous behavior!" whilst the Twins gave him matching thumbs-up signs.
"What the bloody hell just happened?!" exclaimed a flabbergasted Harry.
"You just saw Draco and Lucius make their way off to dinner," said Blaise affably. "A bit premature, since it's quarter-past five and Summerisles doesn't take walk-in diners after six."
"What?! That isn't what I-...!" Harry's exclamation stopped abruptly as he saw Blaise's mischievous grin. "You know what I mean. Lucius Lord Malfoy, head of the Ancient and Noble House of Malfoy? Getting into a fistfight with Arthur Weasley in a crowded public store? It's ridiculous!"
"Yeah…that was strange," said Neville contemplatively. "Granted, I think Mr. Weasley is good enough to punch a ponce like Malfoy Sr. in his face any day of the week (Harry's eyes goggled), but…Mr. Malfoy is way too much of a 'proper pureblood lord' to ever involve himself so publicly in fisticuffs. A duel? Definitely. But kicking and punching, nah."
"I agree Neville," replied Harry. "Something is definitely going on. Something weird. Draco and Ron nearly got into a fight on the train ride to Hogwarts our first year and it was obvious that they'd never even met each other before." He turned to Theo.
"Theo, I have a mission for you."
The other boy's eyebrows shot up, and he smirked at his friend before mock saluting. "Agent Nott, reporting for duty, sir. What do you need?"
"When you get back to Malfoy Manor, check out their library for any references to the Weasleys, anything in the past history of the two families that might explain their current and wholly irrational disdain for each other."
Theo snapped to attention and gave Harry a military salute. "Aye-aye, Captain."
Blaise smiled a bit too amiably at that. "Developing your own spy network now? Excellent. All we need are wristwatch communicators and an Aston Martin, and we'll be ready to take on SPECTRE. And I get to be M." Theo and Neville just stared blankly while Harry snickered. "Huh, I forgot, purebloods." Blaise snaked an arm around each of their shoulders. "Right-O. So there's this Muggle chap who works as a covert agent for Her Majesty's Secret Service. His name is Bond. James Bond."
Later that Evening…
"Now, I will refrain from belaboring the point, because I am certain you understand Number 8." Said Department Director nodded calmly, his expression perfectly placid. He was seated in Control's office, the head of the entire Unspeakable Organization. Because they were ensconced in the complete privacy of his office, Control wore his true identity of [REDACTED]. In spite of the calmness of his expression, Control's disappointment was tangibly obvious through his tone of voice.
"Granted, while I understand the acrimony between yourself and Lord Malfoy is a consequence of… unavoidable preternatural influence, you are an accomplished Level 5 Occlumens. It would behoove you to employ those well-wrought abilities to prevent such another public clash between yourself and your…enemy. I shan't be having this discussion with you again. Am I understood?"
"Crystal," replied Number 8, employing said well-wrought abilities to maintain the calm professionalism required in this particularly sticky situation. A few beats passed before Control nodded in acquiescence.
"Excellent, you are dismissed."
AN 1: Control's identity will be revealed potentially by end of Book 2, more than likely beginning of Book 3.
AN 2: I found it personally amusing to have Luna try out an almost-facsimile of Hermione's wand (different core). I've always found their acrimonious relationship in canon fascinating, especially since both are very much considered outsiders in their own respects.
AN 3: I'm thinking Sharon Duncan-Brewster for Seraphina Kolumbiko. For Justin Finch-Fletchley, I'm thinking a young Andrew Simpson (Notes on a Scandal era)