"I am so sorry, but I need to go to Downton. Papa is feeling unwell and there are several meetings I need to step in." Robert said while putting Cora's coffee cup in front of her. He had stopped trying to get her to drink tea. She would probably never become a tea person; how much he would try.
"How long do you need to stay?" Cora asked, flipping through the paper that was on the table.
"That is the thing, probably a couple of weeks." Robert tried to make it sound less awful, but he knew he could not.
"A few weeks?" Cora exclaimed. "But that is not possible." Cora felt a lump in her throat.
"My dear, I cannot stay away. It is my duty to step in." He saw how she was fighting against her tears.
"How are we going to go for the test? Are you driving back and forth?"
Robert stretched over the counter to take her hand. "We could ask Dr Clarkson in the village to help out?"
"Robert, I know that you think I am worried for nothing. But I feel that we need to take this seriously and I want a good doctor. Someone who specializes in infertility."
"What if you are not infertile and it is just stress?"
Cora pulled her hand back. "Who says it is me?"
He felt his cheeks colour when she said that. "You are absolutely right. It could also be me. But Dr Clarkson will have staff who know what they are doing. Please Darling, I do not have another option. I need to go to Downton."
"I do not understand why you cannot just cancel the meetings and reschedule. I thought you wanted a family as much as I did, but it does not feel like it."
"You are being unfair," Robert said shocked. "You know how much I would want to start a family with you. But these meetings have been scheduled for months now, so we cannot postpone them. Please understand."
Cora shook her head. "I never thought you would put the house before me."
"I am not. First of all, the meetings are with the company and second of all. You are always in the first place, but there are things that I cannot control."
"Are you sure your father is ill? Did your mother tell you that?"
"That is low Cora, that is really low." He picked up his cup and walked out of the kitchen towards his office. One of the rooms they had transformed into a nice home office. He wished Cora would not be this stubborn. Dr Clarkson could do the same testing, why did she insist on having a specialist? It would all turn out to be nothing, he was sure. As soon as they were back in calmer weather, she would fall pregnant. He heard the front door close with a loud bang.
How could he be so insensitive, he did not even consider saying no. He promised to go for testing with her, did he not want a family? Standing in their driveway she did not know where to go for a second. She looked at the clock, Sorcha would start her shift soon. She regretted quitting that job, she could still have something to do outside the house. But Robert had convinced her that she did not need a job.
When she reached the restaurant, she headed straight to the bar. "A double whiskey please." She asked the bartender.
"What kind would you like?"
"I do not mind as long as it is a strong one, without ice."
She emptied the glass in two gulps and ordered a second one.
"Let's make that a gin tonic." Sorcha's voice sounded.
"But the lady ordered a double whiskey!" The bartender protested.
"I know, but this lady better slow down and drink a gin tonic." Sorcha replied.
"As long as you make it a double, I do not care." Cora looked at Sorcha.
"I will have my break in about five minutes, we will get a table and eat something."
"I do not need food, just alcohol."
"We are still getting a table."
"Eat this and then you will get another glass of Whiskey." Sorcha put a plate bangers and mash in front of Cora, while sitting down opposite.
"I told you that I do not need food." Cora had a double tongue already.
"You definitely do, and I can promise you that the bar staff will not pour you more alcohol before you finish this plate."
Cora sulkily scooped some of the mash on her fork and took a bite. Then she noticed she was actually very hungry and emptied her plate without realising it.
"Now, do you want to tell me what is wrong? Or are we going to sulk the whole evening and just get drunk."
"I say the latter." Cora pushed her glass towards Sorcha. "You promised another Whiskey if I ate."
Sorcha gestured towards the bar and then turned to Cora again. "What has Robert done?"
"I thought he had chosen me, but clearly I was mistaken. His stupid house and family will always come first. He will never choose me."
Sorcha let her rant for a while but then said softly. "He did travel to the USA to find you and bring you back."
Cora snorted. "I bet he regrets that now. You know, I just do not understand why he wanted to marry me and buy a house together."
"It cannot be that bad. He loves you; I am sure of that."
"Not as much as he loves Downton." Cora pushed her empty glass towards Sorcha again, who ordered another drink. "He does not care that I cannot have children, he does not even make time to go with me for tests. I think that he is fine with not having children with me."
"Are you?" Sorcha contemplated how to ask this question.
"No, I am not pregnant, and I will probably never be. If I could have children, I would have been pregnant by now. No, it is not something my body can do. And since Robert does not care about it and will go to Downton, we will never find out what is wrong." She picked up the glass that was brought and emptied it, in one gulp.
"Cora, you should go home and talk to Robert."
"I am not going home; I want another drink."
"That is not one of your options, we will not serve you more alcohol tonight."
"Oke." Cora got up from her chair so suddenly, that she had to grab the table. "I will get my drinks somewhere else. " It was not easy, but Cora managed to get money out of her wallet, left some notes on the bar and walked outside.
Sorcha saw Cora go into the pub next door. She could not do anything, but she texted Robert, where Cora was and told him that she had some alcohol. She herself had to go back to her shift.
"Can I have what she is having?"
Cora looked up from her glass, she knew that voice. She saw a tall woman next to her, with long red-blond curls, a slim figure, but very regale in posture. "Why are you here?" She managed to get out.
Rosamund gave her a soft smile. "Can a lady not have a drink in a random pub?"
"I know that I am drunk. But I am still aware that you do not live in this area of the city."
"I came to take you home." Rosamund answered.
"That is not necessary, I am perfectly capable to take care of myself."
"I know, but still, I would like to take you home."
"Rosamund, I do not know how Robert knew I was here, but you can tell him that I am not coming home tonight."
"Sorcha texted Robert and he asked me to go and look for you. And I do not think you should stay away. Go home, have a good sleep and then in the morning you two can talk."
"He wants to go to Downton, and it does not matter what we had planned, it all does not matter, because he is needed at Downton. Well, you can tell him that he can go, I do not care."
"Cora." Rosamund put her hand on Cora's. "He does not want to go, but he has to go."
"Of course you will say that. It is your home too and I could have known you would choose your brother's side." She felt tears sting.
"I do not see Downton as my home. My home is here in London. Robert would preferably stay here in London too, but he has his duties and unfortunately, he cannot step away from them. Cora, I do not know what is wrong between you and Robert, I only know he is head over heels in love with you and would never want to hurt you. Please let me bring you home."
"Why does he have to go now? It took weeks before we finally got our hospital dates and now, we have to reschedule."
"I do not know why you have these appointments, but I am sure Robert will come with you to them. He will be sure of that."
"He wants Dr Clarkson so do the tests."
"Can you tell me why you need to go to the hospital? What kind of tests do you need?"
Cora could not keep her tears back anymore. Her cheeks got wet from the streaming tears. "I think I am infertile."
"Oh, my dear." Rosamund got up and wrapped her arms around Cora. "I am so sorry."
"Do you think Dr Clarkson is knowledgeable on this subject?" Cora asked.
"No, not Dr Clarkson himself. But he has a team, and I am sure he has the right expertise at his hospital."
Cora got up from her barstool, she almost lost her balance, but Rosamund grabbed her arm. "Can you bring me home?"