This was funny... when I was eleven. Take that information however you will. Honestly compared to the other stuff it's not terrible...
I own Kianna and Ziri. Ziri more than Kianna... because she's a lil better... not in this case...
AHSOKA TANO has joined the chat
ANAKIN SKYWALKER has joined the chat
OBI-WAN KENOBI has joined the chat
Ahsoka: FINALLY! Is anyone there?
Anakin: Yup. Gosh, it took me FOREVER to get here.
Obi-Wan: How long did it take you guys? An hour.
Anakin: Gods, I expect nothing less.
Ahsoka: OOF. Took me half an hour.
Anakin: It took me… Well, I didn't exactly have a timer…
Ahsoka: Come on, Skyguy, SPILL!
Kianna: Took him an hour and a half. Wow, I honestly did NOT expect that. Took me five minutes.
Anakin: Well, YOU'RE the one who lives in a place where this is common!
Ahsoka: An hour and a half. Surprising. Not.
BARRISS OFFEE has joined the chat
Barriss: Hello.
Kianna: GET OUT OF HERE!
BARRISS OFFEE has been kicked out of the chat
Kianna: Much better. Anyway, is ANYONE ELSE COMING?
Obi-Wan: Oh, just the Council, once they figure this out.
Anakin: Wait, WHAT?
Obi-Wan: I thought they would want to know about this.
Anakin: OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
Kianna: Uh, you're lucky I didn't tell my friend about this. She'd fangirl about you ALL DAY. Never mind, actually, ALL YEAR!
MACE WINDU has joined the chat
YODA has joined the chat
SHAAK TI has joined the chat
PLO KOON has joined the chat
KI-ADI MUNDI has joined the chat
AAYLA SECURA has joined the chat
SAESEE TIIN has joined the chat
DEPA BILLABA has joined the chat
STASS ALLIE has joined the chat
AGEN KOLAR has joined the chat
COLEMAN KCAJ has joined the chat
OPPO RANCISIS has joined the chat
KIT FISTO has joined the chat
LUMINARA UNDULI has joined the chat
Mace: What are we talking about here?
Kianna: Oh lovely, now the Council is here. PERFECT.
Yoda: Here, I am.
MACE WINDU has been kicked out of the chat
YODA has been kicked out of the chat
SHAAK TI has been kicked out of the chat
PLO KOON has been kicked out of the chat
KI-ADI MUNDI has been kicked out of the chat
AAYLA SECURA has been kicked out of the chat
SAESEE TIIN has been kicked out of the chat
DEPA BILLABA has been kicked out of the chat
STASS ALLIE has been kicked out of the chat
AGEN KOLAR has been kicked out of the chat
COLEMAN KCAJ has been kicked out of the chat
OPPO RANCISIS has been kicked out of the chat
KIT FISTO has been kicked out of the chat
LUMINARA UNDULI has been kicked out of the chat
Kianna: Yay, now they're not here. Splendid!
Ahsoka: Anyway, why did you kick Barriss off the chat?
Kianna: TRUST ME. IT'S A LOT BETTER WITHOUT HER. Anyway, what've you guys been up to?
Anakin: War stuff.
Obi-Wan: Same here.
Ahsoka: I prevented Aurra Sing from assassinating Padme.
Anakin: …
Ahsoka: I win.
Kianna: lol
Ahsoka: lol?
Me: Laugh out loud. Ya know when someone says something funny on chat and you say lol.
Ahsoka: Riiiiiiiight.
Anakin: Is Padme okay? Where is she? What happened?
Ahsoka: Ooh, someone's getting protective.
Obi-Wan: *stifles laugh*
Anakin: *glares at Obi-Wan*
Obi-Wan: *shrugs*
Kianna: You guys have been practicing your insults! Or saving them up, at least.
Ahsoka: To answer your questions, Padme's alright, except for a flesh wound in her shoulder.
Ahsoka: She's on a ship home, the one I'm on.
Ahsoka: And Aurra Sing was in the vents at the conference.
Ahsoka: Pretty good at sneaking around, for an antenna woman.
Anakin: *gapes*
Anakin: *gapes some more*
Kianna: Uh, are you gonna stop gaping?
Obi-Wan: Sounds like someone's protective today.
Kianna: Is that proving your theory?
Obi-Wan: What theory?
Kianna: That Anakin and Padme are together.
Anakin: *chokes on water* Hang on, HOW DID YOU KNOW?
Ahsoka: *chokes on food* WHAT?
Obi-Wan: *sighs* I suppose so…
Kianna: Just SPILL ALREADY! I already know. JUST TELL HER!
Ahsoka: Tell me what?
Anakin: YOU ARE SO DEAD OBI-WAN!
Kianna: Oh my gods, did you just TELL THE FUTURE?
Anakin: Wait, what?
Kianna: Never mind. I'll tell you later.
Anakin: Ahsoka I SWEAR IF YOU TELL ANYBODY!
Ahsoka: Ooh, Anakin's getting EXPLOSIVE! Must be a good piece of info!
Kianna: HECK YEAH! Anakin, btw, I've sent you a private message detailing how you can get revenge.
Anakin: Oh. Oh. OH. OH YES! SIS, YOU ARE A GENIUS!
Ahsoka: Wait a minute, SIS?
Kianna: ANAKIN!
Anakin: Sorry.
Kianna: We're brother/sister.
Ahsoka: WHAT?
Obi-Wan: WHAT?
Anakin: Yup.
Ahsoka: Okay, STOP STALLING!
Anakin: FINE! Padme and I got married secretly on Naboo at the start of the Clone Wars.
Ahsoka: Oh no WONDER you guys look so good together. You ARE together!
Obi-Wan: Anakin, this is SERIOUSLY violating the Code!
Anakin: Says the person who loves Duchess Satine.
Ahsoka: OOF! *info sinks in* Wait, what?
Anakin: Why are you surprised that so many people are in a relationship?
Obi-Wan: ANAKIN WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!
Ahsoka: Ooh, you got him to use ALL CAPS!
Anakin: You're the one who has a crush on Lux.
Ahsoka: KIIIIIIIAAAANNAAAAAAA!
Kianna: What? It's TRUE!
Ahsoka: I HAVE HALF A MIND TO SMASH THIS LAPTOP!
Anakin: SPILL AHSOKA! YOU TOO OBI-WAN! YOU GUYS CANNOT GET OUT OF THIS!
Kianna: TRUST ME! Okay, Luxsoka is a bit awkward when they go to Carlac but they're still cute even AFTER that. Obi-Wan and Satine are AMAZING though. SENDING THE CLIPS! (sends clips)
Ahsoka: OH MY GODS THE OBI-WAN/SATINE CLIP IS SO AWESOME! Even though Satine might die, but I know she doesn't.
Anakin: AHSOKA!
Ahsoka: IT'S NOT MY FAULT! LUX IS THE ONE WHO DREW ME INTO EVERYTHING!
Anakin: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ANNOUNCED YOURSELF AS HIS BETROTHED!
Kianna: Hey, what do I say? The pathway to success starts with a calm and clear mind. Breathe in, brea–
Anakin: OH SHUT UP I'VE HEARD THAT FOR THE PAST FIVE WEEKS.
Obi-Wan: Oh gods, that is quite awkward. You weren't kidding, Kianna…
Kianna: Why would I be? I swear every time I watch it…
Ahsoka: DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!
AHSOKA has changed her name to PADME
Kianna: Hi, Padme.
Padme: Hello. Err, what exactly are we talking about?
Padme: (This is Ahsoka) Something awkward. And something Anakin is COMPLETELY singling me out on. Padme, I'll make you your account.
Padme: (This is me now) Okay, thanks, Ahsoka.
PADME has changed her name to AHSOKA
PADME AMIDALA has joined the chat
Padme: So what were we talking about?
Kianna: Relationships. AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME. IT'S THEM. I'll update you. Everyone knows you're married to Anakin, Anakin's my brother, Ahsoka has a crush on Lux Bonteri, and Obi-Wan and Satine are in a relationship-not-a-relationship.
Padme: Sooo… I guess nothing's secret anymore?
Kianna: Nooooope.
Padme: Then what about you?
Kianna: *rolls my eyes* Uh, no one. Duh. My friend's the one to ask that one.
Anakin: You keep mentioning that friend. Who is it?
Kianna: Somebody who has a crush on you.
Ahsoka: *stifles giggle*
Padme: Uh, I'm right here…
Kianna: Yeah, I know, it's weird…
Kianna: If she isn't talking about her other crush, she's talking about you. It's weird, hilarious, and mind-boggling at the same time…
Padme: Okay, Ahsoka, Lux Bonteri?
Ahsoka: *groans*
Padme: I didn't see that crush coming. But you guys would be cute together! Um, I suppose I should've seen the Obi-Wan/Satine thing coming, but oh well… it's a good ship though!
Obi-Wan: *groans*
Kianna: Oh guys, you know what would be better? Bringing Satine and Lux onto this thing! Might as well…
Ahsoka:
Obi-Wan:
Me: OKAY! APPROVAL!
DUCHESS SATINE KRYZE has joined the chat
LUX BONTERI has joined the chat
Satine: Hello?
Lux: Uh, who's in this thing?
Kianna: Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka. Just getting the ships together, ya know?
Ahsoka: Not my idea… Oh hi, Lux. Didn't see you there… *whispering, THIS IS SO AWKWARD*
Anakin: *doubling over in silent laughter*
Kianna: BEST IDEA! YOU GUYS CAN ZOOM IN FOR FIVE MINUTES! *puts Obi-Wan and Satine in meeting* *puts Lux and Ahsoka in separate meeting*
Anakin: BEST. IDEA. EVER!
Kianna: I wish I can monitor them… OH WAIT! I CAN! Just a bit of hacking.
Anakin: Lol YES!
Kianna: Oh gosh it is AWKWARD in Obi-Wan and Satine's meeting. Not to mention Lux and Ahsoka… since when did they get so awkward? Used to be better…
Padme: Kianna, I believe you are the most savage person in the galaxy.
Kianna: Thanks.
Anakin: I can partially hear Obi-Wan down the hall. I never knew he could stutter so much!
Kianna: OMG LOL! Yeah, don't get on my bad side, guys. Oh wait, I forgot one other person…
ZIRI AMANWË has joined the chat
Ziri: Wow. Took you long enough. At least I don't have to hack anymore.
Kianna: Sorry. Got a little busy with everything else.
Padme: Sorry, can't do this for longer. I've got a very important Senate meeting.
Anakin: That's more important than this?
Padme: The majority of things are more important than this, Ani.
PADME AMIDALA is offline
Anakin: Dang it.
Kianna: True, though.
Ziri: Seems like it. So… how's life?
Anakin: Decent.
Ahsoka: Embarrassing.
Kianna: Since when did you and Lux get so awkward?
Ahsoka: Uh, since you put us in a private meeting room?
Ziri: This is why I never get on Kianna's bad side.
Kianna: Um, if I got on your bad side, Ziri, I think I would lose my other leg.
Ziri: Oh, there are much more painful methods.
Ahsoka: You kicked off Barriss and invited this girl? Wow.
Kianna: Yeah, exactly. She's a total badass if you don't mind my saying, Ziri.
Ziri: Not at all. Thanks.
Kianna: Welcome. So, Ziri. Haven't seen you in a while. How is everyone?
Ziri: Good. Legolas is in the middle of a diplomatic meeting between the different factions of Elves. I argued with him for about half an hour about being there, but I guess they don't need another Silvan diplomat. My reputation probably puts them off.
Kianna: Likely. I mean, you were an assassin terrorizing the world for two and a half thousand years.
Obi-Wan: You kicked out the Council and invited this girl. Should I be concerned?
Ziri: No. I'm fine now. Legolas took Cherry with him, though.
Kianna: Sorry bout that. Must feel lonely.
Ahsoka: Who's Cherry?
Ziri: Our pet. Kianna gifted us a murcat.
Obi-Wan: A… what?
Kianna: A colorful aquatic animal that looks like a cat but has venomous fangs that can probably cut someone's hand off. But I gave them the antidote. Plus Cherry has bonded pretty fast, so there shouldn't be anything wrong.
Ziri: You got that right.
Obi-Wan: Wow. Simply wow.
Anakin: And who is Legolas?
Ziri: My husband. We're Elves, if you couldn't tell.
Ahsoka: … Elves.
Ziri: Yes. You know, tall, extremely good-looking by human standards, blue or green colored eyes most of the time, pointed ears. I'm a Silvan Elf, Legolas is Sindar.
Ahsoka: Oh, definitely not what I was picturing.
Ziri: Yeah, there seems to be a weird trope.
Anakin: Wait, how old are you exactly?
Ziri: Legolas is 2958 and I'm 2918. That's still decently young, though. And we'll stay young. We're immortal.
Ahsoka: Goooooootcha. So Kianna, your new friend is about as old as the moon? Okay.
Kianna: Yeah. The Elves are nice, but awfully formal.
Ziri: Totally. I've gotten a few people to defrost, though.
Obi-Wan: I think I've come across them.
DUCHESS SATINE KRYZE has left the chat
LUX BONTERI has left the chat
Kianna: Dang it.
Ahsoka: It was a mutual agreement.
Ziri: What were you saying? You've met us before?
Obi-Wan: Perhaps. I'm not sure if I'm referring to the right planet.
Ziri: Was it lush with greenery?
Obi-Wan: Yes.
Ziri: Was it filled with many different types of people?
Obi-Wan: Kind of. Not like what we have here.
Ziri: Was there pretty much no technology?
Obi-Wan: Yes. I could barely get reception on my datapad.
Ziri: Definitely Middle-Earth. I guarantee that most of us Elves were already gone by the time you got there, which is why I don't remember your lightsaber or anything. That would've stood out for sure.
Obi-Wan: It was… enlightening, that's definite.
Kianna: Wait, you went to Middle-Earth AND NEVER TOLD ME? Not to mention it was IN THIS GALAXY?
Obi-Wan: Maybe not your version of Middle-Earth that you know. Probably a different one.
Ziri: Were there Elves?
Obi-Wan: I believe so. I saw many.
Ziri: When did you come?
Obi-Wan: A couple of months ago.
Ziri: Okay, not our world. That's probably around the early Third Age. We're in the Fourth Age, remember?
Kianna: The least you could've done was to tell me you'd found Middle-Earth.
Obi-Wan: I didn't quite know back then, okay?
Kianna: Well, you know now.
Ziri: Don't blame him, honestly. Middle-Earth is so secluded. We haven't even explored the other side of Arda. There could be so much we've missed. I've tried and tried and tried to petition for an expedition to the other side of Arda, but have been refused EVERY SINGLE TIME. I have half a mind to go by myself.
Kianna: You probably should, honestly. I'd definitely go with you. We would probably survive.
Ziri: Noting the "probably."
Ahsoka: Well, you both have survived a lot. And Kianna, you've been to dozens of new planets and mapped out a good sector of the Unknown Regions. This wouldn't be new.
Kianna: True. I did die a few times.
Ziri: I may not have died, but I strayed in and out of death for a couple of weeks. Ring-wraith, you know?
Kianna: Yeah, same. Except not by a Ring-wraith. It was by my personal spirits.
Anakin: I can see how you two became friends.
Ziri: Yeah, sharing stories about near-death or death experiences is very enlightening.
Kianna: Did you stray into Hades? Where did you go?
Ziri: I strayed in and out of this field just filled with people. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people. Thousands. Millions.
Kianna: The Fields of Asphodel. The place of neutrality.
Ziri: Makes sense. Although I'm surprised. My life has been spent terrorizing Middle-Earth except for the last couple of years.
Kianna: Well, I mean you did almost die fighting for good.
Ziri: I've also almost died fighting for evil. Many more times than I've almost died fighting for good. You wouldn't believe how many close scrapes I've been in in the past couple of thousand years.
Kianna: I could ask my dad. He'd know why.
Ziri: Oh yeah. Though I'm still surprised. I expected the Fields of Punishment.
Kianna: If you'd been sentenced to the Fields of Punishment, I would've complained. A lot. I would've gone straight to my dad and told him to reverse that. He'd hopefully listen. Frankly, I think preventing the world from being destroyed is a good balancer.
Ziri: Okay, I suppose.
Ahsoka: Oh shoot oh shoot oh shoot. I just realized I was supposed to be writing the mission report. OH SHOOT.
Anakin: AHSOKA…
Kianna: Stop being a hypocrite, Anakin. Ahsoka, you're probably fine. Just quit Zoom and maybe write quickly.
Ahsoka: YEAH I'LL DO THAT. Bye! Nice to meet you Ziri.
Ziri: You too.
AHSOKA TANO is offline
Obi-Wan: Anakin, have you finished the report from Kalla?
Anakin: What's the point? Everyone knows what happened there.
Obi-Wan: Still.
Anakin: FINE.
ANAKIN SKYWALKER is offline
OBI-WAN KENOBI is offline
Kianna: Guess it's just us two.
Ziri: Oh, scratch that. For one thing, I've got lunch, and for another, I've got a letter to write to Kilia. She's probably the best person to ask about an expedition.
Kianna: Tell her I'd come along if she would let me.
Ziri: Gladly.
Kianna: Bye.
Ziri: Bye.
ZIRI AMANWË is offline
KIANNA SKYWALKER is offline
(Way longer than a few years later)
KIANNA SKYWALKER is online
ZIRI AMANWË is online
ANAKIN SKYWALKER is online
Kianna: My god, have we all forgotten about this?
Anakin: Well… we've had a lot going on.
Kianna: True. A lot.
Ziri: Nothing I don't know.
Kianna: Man do I miss times back then…
Honestly... not too bad... at least compared to the earlier stuff, that was weird.
There's another halfway-decent chatfic next, then we're onto some longer stuff.
Inspired by this chatfic? Feel free to copy the idea/general concept, but tag or credit me somewhere! (I'm only saying this now because I think this is the only one so far that's kind of worthy of possible inspiration.)