It was always her
The day was very beautiful and I was very happy. In the middle of a shop with white, elegant Bridal dresses in every nook and corner, I was standing in front of a mirror looking at my reflection. It was a simple Bridal gown, satin, white, V-necked and spaghetti sleeved. I really loved it, low-key and minimalistic, although I was not sure about my sister's reaction. Her take on things is very different when compared to mine. While I like to keep it simple, she likes it grand and celebratory, her vision is clear- "NEVER BACK AWAY FROM CELEBRATING YOUR HAPPINESS". A smile crept on to my face as I thought about her. She must be here any moment.
"Hinata dear the dress looks awesome on you, you look stunning, you better warn your fiancé in advance or he will faint as soon as he lays his eyes on you."
The owner's compliment broke me out of my reverie.
"That is too sweet of you Naomi-sama, though I am sure he would not faint. Anyways, we can find it out soon. He will be here any minute." I reply with a smile on my face.
She smiles warmly "Hope everything is going fine with your fiancé"
"It is. That is exactly why I am here, though I am curious, why that question" I replied, genuinely confused by her question.
"Oh! There is no reason in particular. It is just that it is common for young brides to get confused if they have made the right decision in choosing their groom" She replied with honesty before laughing heartily.
"Well, no doubts or second guessing from my side. Hope it is the same for him too." Though I said it very casually, it was an insecurity that was killing me from inside. I just discovered today that my insecurity and the time left for my wedding are inversely proportional to each other. It is hardly 2 weeks for my wedding and I cannot shake this feeling off, no matter how many times I tell myself that he genuinely loves me back, it is always there in the back of my mind- that insecurity-it keeps on telling he does not love me.
"According to me, he will be a really unlucky man, if he loses you."
I could not say much as a reply, as I was opening my mouth to acknowledge her statement, door to the shop opened. In came my sister and soon to be husband. I smiled warmly at them, excited to know their opinion on my choice. My sister smiled back at me, with a glint of mischief in her eyes. While all he did was nod his head in acknowledgement.
I turned back to the pleasant owner and introduced them to her "Naomi-sama, this is my sister Hanabi and that is my fiancé Naruto."
She gave a very warm and heart filling smile before acknowledging them both. "Ah! Such a pretty maiden, I am honoured to have you in my shop. Man of the hour, I wish you luck, though you are already pretty lucky for getting yourself such a beautiful bride. I am Naomi, owner of the shop and designer of these clothes."
Hanabi blushed lightly at the compliment how unlikely of her. Naruto walked towards me to stand beside me. He kept his arm on my shoulders and said "Cannot agree more Naomi-sama, I am very lucky. I mean look at her."
He slowly turned towards me and whispered in my ears "You look absolutely stunning." I blushed and thanked him.
"I will give you some privacy, just press this button on the mirror and call me when you are done. Or you can just directly walk to my desk." She gave me one last smile before leaving.
I turned back to my precious people and asked them "Soo, what do you guys think about the dress?"
"It looks really good. It is reflecting your personality, simple and elegant. Do you like it?" Naruto responded first.
"I love it and I love it for the exact same reason Naruto. This dress is so like my personality. What do you say Hana?" I was really keen to know my sister's opinion. She has a great fashion taste.
"Well, I would have definitely chosen something grander, but this one is also good. Simple but good. Can you swirl once?"
"Uhm, sure." I swirl showing the beautiful back cut design.
"Wow you look like an Angel Hina. Doesn't she Naruto?" She sounded very impressed and I liked the fact that she liked the dress I chose. This meant that there was no objection regarding my dress and we can strike of one thing from my to-do list.
"Hey what is with your spacing out ha Naruto?" Hana asked.
"Sorry, it was honestly nothing. Anyways what were you saying?"
"I was saying my sister looks like an Angel"
"Yea she does"
"Honestly Hina this dress is amazing. Front is looking simple and the back design with that satin bow is so elegant. Your choice is great-in dresses- I must say, because what kind of man would just zone out like that when his beautiful fiancé was having her dress trails." Though she stated it for fun, it was true, no man who loved his fiancé would zone out.
This was exactly my problem. Everything seems fine but nothing feels fine. He complements me and gives me gifts, but never when doing so do I find glint of pure happiness in his eyes. He seems so distant. He never once saw me like he looks at her. That's it I have to take a call. It is now or never.
"Hanabi, can you give us a moment here" I interrupted her conversation with Naruto.
"Sure"
"Naruto, I know this is so sudden" I started as soon as Hanabi left "but trust me, I thought over this over 100 times. Never once, could I conclude that you genuinely love me. Please let me complete Naruto" I raised my hand to stop him from interrupting me and from moving closer to me. "All my life, I was seen as second best. I do not want to blame anyone. But it is true that I was compared, judged, and scarred. Things are changing now. My point here is, I cannot be my husband's second choice too. It is one thing having crush on you and wanting for your attention. But even now, after getting engaged, I still crave for your attention. Your attention should be mine Naruto. I cannot spend my whole life waiting for you to look at me with love. I am just a rebound, I understand now, completely. I am her replacement am I not? I can't bear to think that now looking at me, you were zoning out to imagine it was her. I love you. I always will, but I cannot live as your wife with the knowledge that every time you see me you wish it was her. All of this meant nothing to you. I realized it a bit too late Naruto. I hoped that you would love me back, if not more than me at least as much as I love you. But all this time I was fooling around myself thinking you will someday come to love me. But we have to be realistic. Your heart belongs to her. It was always Sakura. I can't continue to toy with my own feelings. I am sorry. I can't marry you."
With my heart heavy, I took off my engagement ring from my finger and gave it him. He did not say a word. He was too shocked. Honestly, I do not blame him. What I just did even shocked me to my core, but it had to be done.
I looked at him one last time and reminded myself that 'it was always her'.
A/N- My first fiction. Please review. Positive and constructive criticism is appreciated.
Disclaimer- Though everybody knows, I still have to say.
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO.