Chapter III

She wakes up in the middle of the night with an aching back, one asleep foot and a kink in her neck that hurts like a bitch. Right, she fell asleep again pretty soon after they started talking. She's been exhausted, the movie had actually been pretty boring and the comfortable silence they had let spread over them after she admitted she is open to raising their child had lulled her to sleep. It's not yet midnight but she feels more sleep will have to fight for dominance with her aching muscles.

It was supposed to be a reflective pause, giving him time to let her comment sink in. She never heard when or if he replied.

He stirs under her and she takes that moment to notice that she's practically in his lap. She moves off of him, slightly embarrassed, but his arm around her waist stops her from going too far. The embarrassment vanishes immediately and she leans back against his side more comfortably.

"This couch is good for a great many things" He starts, looking over trying to see the blush he's sure is there but it's too dark to make out. "But actually sleeping on it is not one of them"

"Let's just be glad we weren't lying down" She laughs softly when she sees his eyebrows knit in confusion. "Story for another day" She promises him. Then she reaches up and touches her lips to his cheek. She feels his smile underneath the tender kiss.

"Will you stay?"

"No" And it's the only right answer. He knows it and she knows it. Doesn't mean that both of them aren't just a bit disappointed with it. She blames it on the hormones, he doesn't have anything else than himself to blame it on.

Before she has enough time to be able to read too much into his short answer, he takes her hand in his, intertwines their fingers loosely and turns her face to look into his eyes with the other. "But I will be here tomorrow, same time. Then we can talk about us"

Us. She feels a flutter in her chest she's almost sure was her heart skipping a beat. She never thought she would ever be hearing him say those words in a serious tone and mean it to be more than a little sexual innuendo.

Turns out she doesn't know everything there is about him.

She tries to read his expression as best she can make it out in the almost darkness. Just making sure she is not misinterpreting his words. "Alright, but you won't be paying for dinner this time"

"Don't worry, it's time you paid for something" The sparkle in his eyes is probably the brightest thing in her whole living-room.

"And just for that, dinner is on you again"

She detangles herself from his arms and he finally lets her go, albeit reluctantly. They know he needs to leave, still it is not as easy as saying goodbye for the night used to be.

At the front door, he puts on his jacket and after he already opened the door and is about to step through, she leans forward and kisses his lips just as softly as she's kissed his cheek earlier.

"We're going to talk about this, too?" It's a question because he doesn't mind not talking about it for a while if it makes her more comfortable. It has been an emotional and tiresome day and as much as he tried to show her he actually cares, he is under no illusions that she is already willing to give him a chance.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" She says with a shrug of her shoulders. But she's laughing at him. He takes it as a good sign. "Goodnight, Harvey"

"Goodnight, Donna"

And when the door closes behind him, she's relaxed, smiling and happy and she thinks maybe she'll be able to fall asleep tonight after all.

#

He clears his schedule for lunch. Normally he would have had Donna do it, but he wants to surprise her. So he cancels his meeting and doesn't tell her, doesn't make a note in his calendar about it.

Instead he tells her to be ready in five minutes when she comes into his office to remind him he's going to be late.

"This is going to be an expensive day for you" She jokes, but she lets him lead her out of his office to grab her coat and purse at her own desk.

"You haven't seen where I'm taking you yet" And she really hopes this is a joke, too. She might have kissed him last night and agreed to talk about a future with him tonight, but an expensive and probably fancy dinner is not acceptable.

People don't know about them. They themselves don't even know yet what they actually are. And where tonight was supposed to be an opportunity to find that out, she needs them to actually do find that out before she's willing to go on any date she can't call anything else than a date.

She decides to trust him, though she can't hold back a suspicious look at him when they board the elevator. He smiles at her, letting it morph gradually into a signature smirk and she thinks she's placed her trust in a good place for the moment.

And she's right. She hasn't been here before, thinks it's even a relatively new place, but it's kind of perfect. The space is pretty much empty, only some odd people spread around the tables occupying a rather large floor. It gives the cozy feeling of being out somewhere but still having enough privacy to be by oneself.

Their waiter leads them over to a table towards the back and leaves them alone to choose something to drink and look over the menu. Starting to read over their options, she decides she's waited long enough. "How did you find this place?"

"I take it you like it?" It's a question but it's also not. She hates him for the cocky tone of voice because he had known exactly that she would like this place. She has no idea when that happened, but she has to admit that he knows just as much about her than she does about him.

"I'm not going to answer that" She shakes her head with a soft laugh. He's way too pleased with himself without her actually voicing he's right.

"Then I won't tell you how I heard of this place" He just barely suppresses the urge to poke his tongue out at her. He's a grown man, but this is what she does to him. It's annoying. He loves it.

She's saved from making this any more childish, because they both know she can, by the waiter coming to take their orders.

"Harvey, I need to be honest with you" She starts when they are alone again. Her hand twitches on the table, seemingly indecisive about whether to reach out for him or not. She refrains though, much rather wanting to hold his hand after she knows he won't hate her in a minute.

"We don't have to do this now, Donna. That's not why I took you out to lunch" He's pretty sure he knows what's coming and he'd much rather get dumped before this thing between them even started in the privacy of her apartment.

"I know" She thinks she knows what kind of conversation he is expecting here, but she has no idea how to make this better. Every sentence her mind makes up to ease into what she has to say only makes it worse. So she doesn't try, only hopes that he understands she's not ending this but rather fears he might. "But I need to tell you this. And it's important I do it before we go any further."

"Okay" It's all he can think of to say. But he's more intrigued than scared at the moment.

"I never told you why I was late coming back from my doctor's appointment the day I told you" She doesn't look at him, finds it easier to tell her story to the empty table between them. "I spent about an hour in my car, thinking about not telling you at all"

She hates that she has to say it, but she hates herself more for having had that thought in the first place. It would have been the easy way out. She could have gone on pretending their night never happened, more or less successful that is. They wouldn't be in this mess of emotions they are in right now.

He's been quiet for so long, that their lunch has been brought and their drinks topped off. After the waiter leaves, she takes another moment to prepare herself for what she's sure is about to happen. "Say something, please?" She probably doesn't want to hear it, but she needs the confirmation.

He lets out a breath, reaches over and places his hand over hers, making her look up at him in confusion. "I know. Or rather, I assumed something like this"

"Harvey…" She tries to pull her hand from under his. He holds onto her tight enough for her to stop retreating but still loosely enough to make it clear he's not keeping her from pulling away if she really wants to. She doesn't even consciously decide but feels her hand relax all the same.

"I had about a month now, to think about what I am going to say if you were ever brave enough to admit it." He never would have brought it up and she's amazed at how much she appreciates him not taking this decision from her. "And I'm not going to lie. Of course I would have been hurt and angry if I had ever found out." Her eyes avert from his gaze and he hurries to continue. "But none of it could ever change how I feel about you. I don't just need you in my life, and we both know that I definitely do" The smile is almost invisible but there. "Donna, I want you in my life, be that in any capacity you'll allow me to"

Never in his entire life has he talked about how he feels so openly and in one single conversation. It has been the entirely right decision though, when her hand turns under his and she slots her fingers through his own.

"Why did you change your mind?" It was not the fear of him ever finding out, he knows that. Because he most definitely would never have other than her telling him directly.

"This?" She answers with a slight shrug of her shoulder. It sounds like a question but she doesn't have the right words to explain it at the moment. At his raised eyebrow she tries anyway. "Okay, not this exactly" She gestures with their joined hands to make a point. "But in a way, too. We've never been friends in the way of spending time together after work and the likes, but I know more about you than I do all my other friends combined. You like to pretend you don't but I know this goes for you, have always trusted each other and I just couldn't see myself not trusting you with the most important news of my life. Of our life"

The only thing that's stopping him from kissing her right now is the fact that she's sitting across from him. So he opts for squeezing her hand in his affectionately, conveying how much he appreciates everything she just said.

"Harvey, I meant what I said last night" They have finally started to eat and she knows this conversation can wait until tonight, but she feels so comfortable right now, that the words just come naturally. "I am willing to give us a chance, if you still want to"

"Of course I do." His answer is quick but sincere. She has no problem believing that this means just as much to him as it does to her.

"I'm still not sure that we are ready to actually have a child" His expression agrees with her without having to utter any words. She's glad they are on the same page here. "But it is still early, we still have some time to make any decision. So what I am proposing is, we use this time to work on us. Maybe we'll grow, maybe we don't. And in the end, we'll make any decisions about the future of our baby together."

"Yea" He says, after thinking her words over for a moment. "I like that"

"You're still coming over tonight, right?" She's suddenly a little shy asking. They'll never be done talking about their future, at least she hopes so. But for the moment she also thinks that they said what they needed to say. They know where they are and where they want to go.

"That depends immensely on whether or not we are also going to talk about that kiss" It's his attempt to lighten the mood after the heavy conversation they'd had. It works when she shakes her head on a soft laugh.

"I still don't know what you are talking about" Her laugh turns into a devilish smile and her eyes say even more than her next words ever could. "But if you do come over tonight, I'll might give you something way more interesting to talk about"