A Clockwork Lemon Moe and his barflies star in a spoof of A Clockwork Orange. Also features Clockwork Orange Bart and Clockwork Orange Maggie. This is part of Treehouse of Horror XXV but the first story ended up really long...
Plot
There's just titles and that's it.
The scene opens in an art gallery. We see famous paintings on the wall, such as Mona Lisa, The Scream, Van Gogh's sunflowers... There's also statues such as Rodin's The Thinker and Michelangelo's David.
Troy McClure arrives.
"Art, something we can enjoy... but they say imitation, through parody is the sincerest form of flattery..."
He snaps his fingers. The paintings become silly Simpsons parodies of themselves. Ie Lisa in the Mona Lisa, Bart with an apple in front of his face in Henri Matisse's painting.
Oscar made a joyful hum as he magically took the green apple from the Matisse painting and took a bite from it.
Hugo winced at him.
"After all? Isn't everything better with a Simpsons twist?" Troy smiled.
"What a tweeeeeeeest!" said M Knight Shyamalan.
Oscar face palmed.
"Hi I'm Troy McClure. You may know me from such parodies as Enter the Hate-Trix and Honey, I Laminated the Kids." Hehehehe... laminated...
Jay Sherman winced.
"Tonight's story is a twist on the dark, violent and dystopian future of A Clockwork Orange in the cheerful yellow universe of the Simpsons..." Troy McClure chuckled.
"Parodies help fill out the airing schedule in the place of some of the weaker episodes. Ie Homer's Paternity Coot..." said Oscar insulting his least favourite episodes.
"For example," said Troy showing a clip.
The clip is clearly the No, I am your father. Scene from Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back.
Bart is clashing lightsabers with a Darth Vader figure.
"You killed my principal!" Bart yelled.
The Vader spoof turns out to be Principal Skinner. "No. I am your principal."
"Nooooooooooo!" Bart screamed.
"And clips like this." said Troy.
The next clip is clearly from a parody of Enter the Matrix...
"Heo, there is no spoon..." said Dr Hibbert as Morpheus.
"Damn it, Morpheus! Not everyone believes what you believe!" Homer yelled.
Milhouse was holding in one hand a blue kite and in the other a red kite.
"Mr Simpson..." said the Agent Smiths. Now they're Agent Smithers...
Homer as Neo screamed.
"You picked the wrong TV to come out of!" The Oracle was slapping Samara Morgan from the Ring.
"So sit back and enjoy tonight's A Clockwork Orange Parody..." said Troy McClure.
...
The titles are A Clockwork Lemon Mmmmm sour...
We pass through the weird Carol Channing chessboard style, We Happy Few future of A Clockwork Orange Springfield. Shelby's Dad eats a lemon and has a sour, scrunched up grin.
That dramatic A Clockwork Orange theme plays as Alex DeLarge Moe stares at the camera with an evil grin.
There was me, that is Moe, and my three bestest glugs, Leonard, Carlton and Dum.
Ie Lenny, Carl and Homer. Homer was the stupid one. He smacked himself with his cane. "D'oh!"
"This tale, I recall, so slooshy closely... took place when I was but a young hoodlink." Moe narrates.
It was in the past slightly but uh still in this weird future where everyone dresses like Carol Channing as The White Queen from Alice Through the Looking Glass. Aka Alice II.
"We was narsty tastards, we were, even though we dressed like Carol Channing's backup dancers."
Oscar laughed. "Hehehehe! Owned!"
Carol Channing seethed.
"I would describe their threads as janitor clown businessmen..." said Young Link from Majorca's Mask.
Teddy screamed. "Aaaaagh! Clooooowns!"
Oscar face palmed.
"They're the ultimate evil..." Teddy whined.
"We sat in the Korova milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening." said Moe narrating.
Korova is Nadsat for cow... how ironic...
The Glugs were sat at a milk bar with glasses of milk pondering what crimes to commit tonight. They scratch their heads.
Also Young Link from Majorca's Mask was there. Wearing a cow mask, which acting as a flimsy disguise, still permitted him into the bar to drink milk at night...
Young Link shrugged.
"The Korova Milk Bar sold milkplus, milk plus screwballs or foopers or meth which is what we were drinking." Some of the milk was enhanced with drugs, the illegal, mind altering kind...
"Ie like Chateau Romani..." said Young Link drinking Magic Milk...
"Damn it Link! Stop making this parody even more silly than it already is!" Oscar chuckled.
"This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra- violence." I'd mind altering drugs. Anyhoo you kinda have to be familiar with the source material in that Alex DeLarge and his Droogs are NOT very nice people...
"Our pockets were full of money so there was no need on that score, but, as they say, money isn't everything." Ie money wasn't an issue, They just like beating people up...
"I'm just here to drink underaged..." said Link, drinking Chateau Romani.
"Hey! The world will be destroyed by the moon in three days!" Tatl the yellow fairy yelled. She is slightly less annoying than Navi.
Oscar winced. Yeah the Zelda references are fudging up the story Oz...
"Eh they make sense with all the milk as booze jokes in Clockwork Orange..." Oscar sighed.
Link sipped his Chateau Romani. "What is in this that it gives me infinite magic power?"
Um booze... booze is infinite mana...
...
In a back alley yard behind some cheap apartments Moe and his glugs are beating up a rival gang.
"Some days, we'd employ a bit of the bash while having a go at the West End Wiseguys..." Moe narrates. His gang are beating up a gang of Raphael clones.
"Ooh, stop it!"
"Hey, pally, come on."
"Hey, what's wrong with youse?"
"Ooh, I was told this would be a verbal debate! Ooh!" The Four Raphael clones were not expecting to be roughed up and lamented about this.
Everyone in this story wore some kind of black and white outfit, but the four Raphael clones were soon sporting some black and blue after the Glugs were finished with them.
"...and cap off the night with a little of the ol' in-out,' said Moe.
In A Clockwork Orange this was Nadsat slang for sex...
However Moe and the Glugs took it to mean setting off the automatic doors at Apu's store to get the bell to ring constantly.
"In. Out."
"In. Our."
"In. Out." The four lads hopped in and out of the proximity of the automatic doors, causing the sensor bell to chime.
Oscar laughed and joined in. "In. Out!"
"Stop that! Every ring costs five dollars!" Apu scolded the Glugs and Oscar.
The actual Droogs also beat up a singing hobo in the opening.
So the Glugs ended up beating up Chester Lampwick for singing.
"Ooooooh! Show me the way to go home!"
Chester upon croning was set upon by Moe and his Glugs. "Oof!"
"That's enough singing from you! You filthy, dirty old drunk!" Moe yelled as he pummelled Chester.
Gerald the hobo and his invisible penguin gawked from the corner of the alley where he was sleeping at the four men beating up Chester.
Oscar was still playing in and out with the Kwik-E-Mart doors.
"I also like to shake it all about and do the Hokey Cokey." said Oscar.
Teddy, his living teddy bear creature winced baffled.
Moe and his Glugs were pummelling Chester.
"Ow! Fine! I don't wanna live in this lawless world anymore!" Chester sobbed.
"There is law! I'm just really poor at my job that silly people dressed up as Carol Channing are causing mayhem and violence!" said Chief Wiggum being lazy as usual.
Lou sighed, fed up with his lazy chief.
"Oi have some you warbling wastrel!" Moe yelled while pummelling Chester.
...
Elsewhere Alex DeLarge abd his gang came across a rival gang, Billy Bob and his Droogs.
Billy Bob and his lads were tearing off a frightened lady's clothes and trying to force themselves on her. Yeah there's a lot of that in the film...
It was around by the derelict casino that we came across Billyboy and his four droogs. They were getting ready to perform a little of the old in-out, in-out on a weepy young devotchka they had there.
Yeah basically like I said, they were Harvey Weinstein'ing that poor damsel...
Alex DeLarge and his gang pick a fight with Billy Bob and his lads. Not to save the fair maiden... Alex wanted a go with her later... No, they were just rival gangs.
Alex insulted Billy in old English slang.
"Ho, Ho, Ho... Well, if it isn't stinking Billygoat Billyboy in poison. How are thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil?"
He also called him eunuch jelly. Which is impossible as eunuchs can't produce jelly for obvious reasons...
Billy Bob flicks open a switchblade. "Let's have it lads..."
The two weird speaking gangs have a fight, a little of the old fisticuffs.
"I'll kick you in the bollocks!" Alex yelled.
The lady did the most sensible thing and fled.
However sirens were heard. IE the old coppers actually doing something about the weirdly dressed thugs causing trouble.
"The Police... come on, let's go... come on..." said Alex urging his lads to flee. Billy's gang fled too.
Meanwhile Moe and his Glugs came across the band The White Stripes, who were wearing Australian grunge clothing, ie Billabong. Which sadly is Aboriginal for small lake, nothing to do with bongs...
Moe and his gang had a little of the old fisticuffs with them because their clothes were at least normal... unlike the constant Carol Channing back up dancer outfits in this spoof! They even have leather pants over their trousers!
"You stink of french-fry oil! And your music is just awful!" said Moe provoking them.
"By the way, sandwich jelly sold by eunuchs would be seedless... Gahahahaha!" Graggle told rude jokes.
"Eeeeew!" Oscar groaned.
The ghost of Cousin Hank seethed. It's an adult movie, there's lewd stuff in it, Karen...
Meanwhile at the Limey equivalent of a Juvie, we call em Borstals or Young Offenders Institutes... some lags were transferred from a patrol van.
"We have trucks but they're not used that much anymore due to cops relying on lethal force," said Bart vis commentary.
This started the setting of the movie Scum, which tried to be as violent and grisly as A Clockwork Orange as possible.
Back in the universe of Carol Channing outfitted gangs people kept singing about seafood...
"Cockles and mussels! Alive o! Alive o!" A hobo sang.
Oscar drooled feeling hungry.
"You know full well I can't eat shellfish..." Jurkle seethed. He's Jewish...
...
A rural, possibly Republican infested suburb. Moe and his gang drive erratically in Moe's hippy car while hooting and hollering.
"My Glugs and I, we entered the dark, the leafy country dark,' said Moe.
They wanted to stop off at some rich, snobbish place, break in, or even more subtly... trick the owner into letting them, beat said owner up and have their wicked way with any women there.
"I want to go to a sorority..." Lenny whined. Eeeeeeew...
"I want to find the lost city of Atlantis!" Homer as Dum suggested something incredibly stupid...
Moe rolled his eyes.
Meanwhile during the road trip, Clockwork Moe described the car as a real horror show. That meant an old but classic car.
"Nothing to do with Tim Curry..." Oscar sighed. He was sat in a tree dressed as an owl...
Also the term road hog is now hogs of the road...
"So Groundhog Day is now Hog of the ground day... Mmmmm! In backwards clauses, Yoda speak!" Oscar continues providing running commentary...
We cut to the outside of a very large and fancy house in the country.
Moe and his gang pull up on the drive. They depart the automotive, giggling and hushing each other.
Inside, Hans Moleman is typing away on his typewriter.
"C..." He can't read very well...
The doorbell rings.
"Oh... who would that be..." Moleman sighed.
For the sake of matching up with the movie, Moleman has a young wife in this story.
"I'll get it..." said his wife, she goes to the door. She has a red jumpsuit on.
The doorbell rings again.
"Yes? Who is it?" asked Moleman's wife.
"Candygram..." said Dum in a fake voice.
"We're not doing that one! Shut it Dum!" Moe hissed.
"Excuse me, Mrs... will you please help, there's been a terrible accident." said Moe in friendly tone to trick the poor lady.
There's silence.
"Dum that cue is for you to cry out in pain, you moron!" Moe yelled.
Homer as Dum cries out in pain.
Moe sighs and shakes his head.
Lenny and Carl waited to see if the resident would stupidly let them in.
Well eventually they do because everyone is a friggin moron in this movie.
Plot 2
Meanwhile at the milk bar, with drug enhanced milk that makes people violent.
"I love you...I love you all. Except you, laughing avocado..." Oscar was drunk on Milk plus.
Link gawked at him concerned.
"Hey!" The bartender whistles. "I'm closing for the night!"
Oscar has another of his fits of gibberish...
"So we frazzered some bingly-bongly fnorp watermelon until we schweeeek-"
"Oz seriously! What the Bokoblin shit was that?!" Young Link yelled.
"Kallae Kistnaeeeee..." Oscar rasped.
"Seriously kid! Vamoose! I'm closing!" The bartender yelled.
"MALKOFOFET!" Oscar screeched.
Link face palmed.
Eventually they leave the bar.
"And obviously as a giant piece of talking cheese-" Oscar was talking utter nonsense still.
"What's going on here?!" Link yelled.
"Kalahoohoo!" Oscar yelled.
Link face palmed.
Oscar then magically turned into a dolphin juggling chainsaws.
"Stop freakin goofing off!" Young Link yelled.
Oscar morphed into a six foot tall rubber chicken and glared at Link.
"That's it! I'm outta here!" Link stormed off.
Teddy sighed.
Oscar reassembled himself into the form of a six foot anthropomorphic cartoon panda wearing a diaper, a blue t-shirt way too small for its plump form and a blue frilly baby bonnet.
"Buddy seriously!" Teddy groaned.
Oscar returned to his human self.
"Let's go home... before we get murdered by freaks dressed as Carol Channing back up dancers." said Oscar.
"Or a man-eating light monster!" said Stephen King.
Crickets chirp as Oscar and Teddy glare at him.
"You're not even trying anymore are you..." Oscar frowned.
Teddy sighed. "I'm hungry."
"I'll get you something," said Oscar. Teddy is eagerly awaiting something. "Anything except pie!" Oscar yelled.
Teddy sulked.
...
Back at the very, very posh house that could be passed off as a vast Bed and Breakfast...
"Please sir or ma'am! My friend is dying out here!" said Clockwork Orange Moe.
Homer as Dum screams loudly.
"A little more subtle..." Moe hissed.
Homer as Dum moaned a lot more quietly.
The woman opens the door on the chain.
She sees Moe, in that weird, freakish get up... This doesn't immediately warn her that he's obviously a lunatic for going out dressed like that...
"My friend's lying in the middle of the road bleeding to death. Could I please use your telephone for an ambulance?" said Moe putting on the act that he's panicking.
"It's true, his intestines are hanging out!" said Carl.
"Oh I'm sorry, we don't have a telephone." said the lady.
Moe finds this ridiculous. He face palms.
"I agree! That is ridiculous! Everyone has a phone! Now come up with a better excuse!" Oscar suddenly arrived in a puff of smoke in the lady's house to berate her. He then vanished just as quickly.
"It's pacing the scene... We don't want her to come across as outright stupid... just a little naive..." said Stanley Kubrick's voice.
"But Mrs... it's a matter of life and death!" said Moe alarmed and concerned.
"Aaaaaaagh! I'm dying!" Homer as Dum screamed.
Moe face palmed.
Inside Hans Moleman stops typing. "Who is it dear?"
"There's a young man here. He says there's been an accident. He wants to use the telephone." said the wife of Moleman.
"No one's called me young before... I almost feel bad about doing this bout of ultra-violence..." Moe said to himself.
"Ooooh, just let them in dear..." said Moleman.
"Uh just a minute." said the lady.
"Thank you ma'am." said Moe still maintaining his false politeness. The lady shuts the door and takes off the chain.
She opens the door to let Moe in.
"I'm sorry we don't usually let- Hey!" said the lady.
Moe and his Glugs suddenly shove her out of the way. They begin smashing up the place.
Moe whacks Hans Moleman with his diamond topped pimp cane.
Lenny jumps on the couch and Carl tears up the paintings.
Homer as Dum chuckled evilly as he manhandles Moleman's wife.
Moe whistles to get his Glugs to obey orders. They stop what they're doing.
"Lenny case the joint, break anything you find."
Moe sees Dum is still holding a struggling Mrs Moleman. "Dum..." Moe says firmly.
Homer as Dum sets Mrs Moleman down but holds her firmly.
Moe suddenly starts singing "Singin' in the rain" while tap dancing for some reason...
"Singing in the rain..."
"Moe why are you singing that?" Dum asked.
"To establish that I am completely bezoomny and off my nuts insane!" said Moe.
...
Oscar and Teddy head back home.
"Well-ee, well-ee, well well well. Bart DeLarge Simpson here, back for one more night of Bananarama." said Clockwork Bart.
Oscar chuckled. "Bananarama..."
"Oy... I have to work on my Glug speak..." Bart sighed.
Oscar yawned. "Well it's late. I'm off to bed."
"Bedways." Bart smirked wearing a derby and eyeliner.
Oscar frowned at him.
"Itty bedways." Bart grinned.
Oscar growled and headed indoors flustered with Bart.
Bart chuckled.
Meanwhile at the Glugs' base of operations. Ie where they rest at and drink milk plus.
Their milk plus dispenser resembles a naked woman. And it dispensed from somewhere gross...
Homer as Dum speaks to the dispenser.
"Hello Lucy, had a busy night?"
The dispenser said nothing. Because it's not alive...
"Oh the silent treatment..." Dum scoffed.
"Uh Dum..." Moe cuts in.
"Yeah?" Homer as Dum replied.
"Homer that's a drinks dispenser... it can't reply to you... it's not alive..." said Moe.
"We've been working hard too." Dum said to the machine.
Moe sighed flustered.
The machine when operated... her lever being between her legs... eeeeeugh... dispensed Milk plus from her breasts...
"Oh bog! It's that bezoomny, weird kid from Game of Thrones..." Moe gasped.
"Bitty..." said Robyn the weird breastfed kid from a Game of Thrones.
Dum winced. He drank his milk plus.
Moe then had one of his monologues again.
"There was some sophistos from the TV studios around the corner, laughing an govoreeting. The Devotchka was smecking away,"
In plain English he meant some people from a TV studio were laughing and chatting away, unswayed of the four weirdly dressed but violent men in a bar drinking drug-laced milk.
Moe thought about going home later to listen to some Beethoven. Apparently Alex DeLarge likes Beethoven...
Dum made wolf whistles and dumb noises that blokes make when cat-calling at a beautiful lady walking past.
Moe annoyed with Dum, smacked him with his diamond tipped pimp cane.
"Ow! Why did you do that for?" Homer as Dum whined.
"For behaving like a bastard with no manners!" said Moe.
Dum frowned.
"Conduct yourself properly! Brother!" Moe told him off for his wolf whistling.
...
At the Simpsons house that night, Oscar is having a night time cup of chai tea in his evening gown. He's infuriatingly British... he drinks tea.
"Oh look... it's Sir Chesterfield Tea-Chugger III. Bart in his Clockwork Orange outfit groaned.
"How about you shut up, uncouth burger muncher!" Oscar yelled.
Bart laughed.
Oscar seethed.
"Oh jolly good! What what! Oh me noggin!" Bart mocks Oscar.
Steam hisses from Oscar's ears, he turns bright red as his blood boils.
"Oh Crumpets! I am Gus the lovable chimney sweep!" said Bart. "Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle! Best in Westminster guv!" He put on a silly British accent. Oscar, annoyed punched him extremely hard knocking him out.
"Oscar!" Marge told him off.
"He provoked me..." said Oscar in a defensive manner.
Marge sighed. "Just finish your tea... and charming British men don't clobber people..."
Oscar sighed and went to his room while sipping his tea.
He set his cup and saucer aside as he took off his gown.
Teddy the teddy bear creature sniffed his leg with his big wet shiny black nose.
"Homer's still out. I should be out there, in the dark..l making it rain frogs..." said Oscar.
Teddy winced.
"Or unleashing a pack of ravenous manticores with laser eyes! to devour everyone!" Oscar yelled.
"Okay you're scaring me now.l" Teddy gulped.
Oscar sighed in a dry manner.
"How is that cooler than laser-eyed mutant alligator men..." Bart frowned having regained consciousness.
"Because they're manticores... part man, part lion, part scorpion... they're bigger and far deadlier...
"Does everything need laser eyes..." Teddy sighed.
"Yeah... they're the answer to life and the universe..." said Bart. "Anyway why am I hanging out with diaper boy and his weird creepy teddy diaper?"
Oscar frowned at him.
"Alex DeLarge is still far more than a creep than Teddy."
"In. Out! The old in and out!" Alex's voice echoes in Bart's memories.
"Ugh... why did my dad let me watch that movie..." Bart winced.
"Now if you don't mind it's way past my bedtime and like every night, Teddy likes to sniff me." said Oscar as Teddy smirking was sniffing Oscar with his big wet shiny black nose. Oscar blushed as Teddy sniffed his crotch.
Bart seethed and left.
Oscar gave Teddy the nervous doe-eyed look as Teddy grinned deviously while pulling down Oscar's pyjama bottoms to sniff his diaper. He sniffed as his wet slimy nose quivered and twitched. Oscar blushed and sweated as Teddy sniffed his diaper.
Elsewhere Moe heads back to his bar still dressed in his Clockwork Orange get up. He puts on a gramophone that plays an LP of Beethoven symphonies.
"Yeah I'm evil but cultured..." said Moe.
He then monologues all night about how evil he is and that he will keep drinking milk plus then while his mind is scrambled by the drugs in it he will rampage around Springfield beating everyone up and assaulting women. Why are we routing for Alex DeLarge again?
...
The next day.
Moe gets up hungover from milk plus to run his bar. Because Alex being revealed to strangely still be a kid despite running around all night in ridiculous black and white clothes, and maiming people.
So the wake up up scene is delegated to Clockwork Bart.
Marge wakes Bart up for school.
"Bart, get up... it's a school day dear." said Marge softly.
"Ugh... can I sloth of school today? Got a pain in my Gulliver..." Bart groaned in a stupid Limey accent.
Marge face palmed. "This A Clockwork Orange phase has to stop! And how did I not stop you from seeing that movie?! It's R rated!"
Bart groans in Limey.
"Get up!" Marge yelled.
Bart reluctantly gets up for the day.
"And stop asking for milk with random drugs in it! The only drugs going in your milk is your Focusyn!" Marge nagged.
Bart frowned and got dressed. This time into his usual orange shirt, blue shorts and blue sneakers.
The breakfast table. Marge and Homer are eating breakfast.
"Alex calls his folks Em and Pee... Hehehehe... pee..." Oscar laughed.
Marge gives him a soft, vexed look letting him know ever so gently that she's disappointed by his toilet humour.
"Yeah I saw pee stains on your Bambinos when you got dressed this morning... you're drowning poor Elmo in yellow..." Hugo snarked.
Marge grumbled.
Everyone except Bart is eating.
"I'm worried about Bart... where is he going at night..." Marge sighed.
"Where's Homer going at night?" Oscar asked, fixing a hard squint at Homer.
"Uh,.. midnight monkey madness at the zoo?" Homer stammered.
Marge gave him a hard look. "Yes and you too... It's not right you two boys going out at night in jodhpurs and derby hats wearing eyeliner..."
"Also why do we have Strangles the python again..." Lisa asked as Strangles slithered about.
"Because Alex DeLarge has a large snake..." said Oscar. "Yes technically his is a boa but still..."
Stangles tried to eat Hugo's pigeon-rat. The creature fluttered away and squeaked.
"Hey!" Hugo yelled.
"Hay is for horses. You keep saying that and I'll sing the Arthur theme tune..." said Oscar.
Plot 3
Upstairs Bart has to deal with the weird creepy guidance counsellor.
The counsellor licked his lips. He was essentially a freak like Jared Fogle but if he worked as a guidance counsellor instead of advertising sandwiches at Subway.
Bart whimpered.
"Can you not?!" The ghost of Cousin Hank seethed.
I can do what I want now, jerk.
"Hello Bart." The counsellor licked his lips in a creepy manner.
Bart gulped. "Hey sir..."
His home guidance counsellor, because of all his A Clockwork Orange shenanigans... lectured him on all his wicked behaviour and that he should turn over a new leaf and become a reformed character.
"All this mayhem and heinous hoodlumism will only lead you to one place. The barry place, or in plain English, jail." said the creepy counsellor rubbing his own laps.
Bart yawned. "Yeah heard it before Guv... get warned about where my behaviour will lead me and then they all expect me to hear angelic choirs and renounce my path of evil..." Bart frowned. "But not this kid..."
The counsellor seemed unfazed by his attitude.
"Eat my shorts..." Bart scowled at him.
The counsellor smiles and runs his fingers through Bart's hair in a creepy manner.
"Ugh... what are you doing... don't touch me!" Bart grunted.
The counsellor grabbed tight on his spiked hair.
"Ow! Leggo!" Bart whined.
The creepy counsellor continued lecturing him about his bad behaviour.
"Have you been doing something you shouldn't boy?"
"Ow! No! I swear!" Bart whined.
The counsellor grabs Bart's shoulder roughly. Bart winced in pain.
"You ought to watch you mouth boy..." said the weird counsellor.
Bart)s eyes welled with tears.
"Because next time it's going to be the barry place and all my work ruined. And we both don't want that!" The counsellor hissed, suddenly losing his calmness.
He slapped Bart's lap. Bart winced in pain.
"I don't have to visit if you would just behave..." the creepy guy snarled.
...
Downstairs in the kitchen. Oscar is eating his cereal when his extrasensory perception caused him to have visions of Bart in danger.
"Someone upstairs is hurting Bart, gotta dash." said Oscar.
Lisa gasped.
Hugo hissed.
Oscar gets up from the table.
"But your breakfast!" said Marge.
"I'll eat it soggy." Oscar snapped his fingers and his pair of Uzis landed in his waiting palms. He heads off upstairs.
Marge sighed. "I don't like him having guns..."
The Queen of England ran in and clonked everyone on the head with her sceptre. "Oi! Everyone on your knees!"
"Okay fine! I love guns! They keep the stupid Limeys from invading again!" Marge seethed.
Lisa face palmed.
Homer smirked smugly while polishing his handgun.
Upstairs the creepy counsellor Guy is running his hand through Bart's hair and chuckling evilly.
Bart sweated and whimpered.
Oscar seeing the freak bothering Bart, saw red. He seethed and aimed his Uzis upwards and squeezed the triggers.
A hail of bullets followed by rapid fire bangs rang out throughout out the house, startling the pets.
The Counsellor dropped to the floor dead. And full of more holes than Swiss cheese.
Oscar exhaled and blew away the smoke wafting from his recently fired guns.
Bart was trembling alarmed by his traumatic moment with the counsellor.
"It's okay Bart. He's dead..." said Oscar putting his guns away.
Bart instinctively hugs Oscar and wept, seriously why is that counsellor guy there...
The family soon hurries upstairs.
"Oz do you always have to solve problems with bullets..." Lisa frowned.
Bart was tearful and freaked out by what happened.
The counsellor found himself in Hell. Ie all the fire and brimstone.
"Hey there..." Hank sighed.
"What did you do?" The counsellor asked.
"Nothing to justify being down here. The narrator's just creepy jerk..." said Hank.
...
The Suicidal Records store. They really need to find a far more cheerful name...
Moe as his Clockwork self Moog enters the store confidently.
"Eeeeeew! What are you wearing..." A rebellious youth groaned.
Moe rolled his eyes.
I don't know Slick, but everyone in A Clockwork Orange has to dress up like the obedient Joy takers or "Wellies" from We Happy Few for some reason... I think the game was inspired by Clockwork Orange...
"Let's just call it the Carol Channing in leather jodhpurs look..." said Moe.
He goes to the counter.
"Brah?" The owner asked.
"Good morning brother, has my records arrived yet?" Moe asked.
"Yeah. Here's your album of Beethoven..," said the owner.
"I like to relax to a little of the old Ludwig." said Moe.
Some young girls giggle.
"Hello ladies!" Moe woos them.
"It's day time. The Glugs or Droogs only attack people at night..." said Oscar.
"Yeah I think that's how the source material we're spoofing works," said Moe.
He invites the girls back to his place.
Normally women are not interested in him because of his troll-like appearance.
However while he is Moog aka a spoof of Alex... They're smitten.
At Moe's very white and sterile Mapple apartment from the future...
"I like the colour white... technology should be sterile white..." said Steve Mobs. The late Steve Mobs.
Moe even has the Shmoo!
Oscar winced perplexed and irked.
"What next... a Smurf lamp..."
The giggling ladies arrived. Moe as Moog does not immediately harm them because it's day time... apparently Moe/Alex DeLarge has to drink that weird milk plus first before he does evil things...
The two young lasses then jump on his bed, naked...
"Okay..." said Moe. I'm pretty sure every bloke wants this...
Also Alex kept calling the younger women Little Sisters.
Cue BioShock references...
...
"Everything was all fish and chippy until Dum collected himself a twiggy-wick." Moog Moe narrated.
"Mmmmm...l fish and chips..." Oscar drools.
Moe sighed.
"Mmmmm... Twiglets... and Twiggy... Whose real name is Dame Lesley Lawson!" said Oscar drooling.
Moe face palmed.
Dum/Homer meets Marge at the music store where LPs, tapes and CDs are sold.
"These are now obsolete thanks to the ability to download music and stream it..." said Bart.
Homer growled.
Bart gets out his Mypod and listens to downloaded music. He bobs to it smugly.
(with British accent): "Hello, little lamb." Dum woos Marge.
"Mary had a little lamb... little lamb... little lamb..." Oscar sang.
Dum frowned at him.
Marge grimaced.
"Mary had a little lamb... BUT I ATE HER!" Oscar sang before becoming Dark Oscar who stated he ate Mary, or the lamb.
Dum and Marge looked freaked out.
"What say we go back to my place for a little of the old Luther Van?" said Dum.
Marge giggled. "You're a handsome stranger..."
Dum purred.
Oscar was eating a stick of butter.
"And Uh..." anything to get away from that kid..." said Clockwork Orange Marge.
At Dum's apartment.
Marge lays on the bed entranced by the attractive man. Homer wasn't bald and fat yet in this adaptation of A Clockwork Orange.
Homer/Dum puts on the Luther Vandross record.
Luther sings.
Dum and Marge get in the mood for snuggling...
Suddenly William Tell Overture starts playing.
"What the?!" Dum gasped. I dunno, someone recorded over the record...
"That was me... I rent records, record new audio partially over them and then return them to annoy people..." Oscar chuckled.
Wait my producers are telling me that's the montage music... okay...
Dum eats food during the montage. Marge waits for him to make love to her.
...
At school it was DRESS LIKE A MOVIE CHARACTER DAY. As that's the only way I could excuse Bart dressing up like a Carol Channing back up dancer...
All the other kids are dressed up as movie characters too.
Bart went as Alex DeLarge, or a Carol Channing back up dancer...
Bart chuckled playing the intro music from the movie.
"Haw Haw! We picked the same costume!" said Nelson dressed as Alex DeLarge.
Bart sighed exasperated.
Then he saw something amazing. Possibly Lewis's costume.
"Holy schnikey!" Bart as Alex DeLarge gasped.
Hugo as Quasimodo face palmed.
Lewis was dressed as.. Uh... Lando Calrissian...
Ralph Wiggum was dressed as Princess Leia again...
"I'm a Star Wars!" He declared.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"Nice frock..." Nelson mocked Ralph.
"I want Pete's Dragon 2!" Ralph demanded.
Bart face palmed.
"Hi Ralph." Lisa was dressed as Elsa from Frozen,
"Marry me..." Ralph frowned.
Lisa groaned exasperated.
Bart laughed. "He still loves you! Nahahahaha!"
"Hey guys." Oscar costume was alright to Bart. But it scared Ralph.
Ralph cried.
"Okay... why does Pikachu make him cry..." Oscar winced.
Bart shrugged.
Ralph ran off crying.
"I thought Lisa would have gone as Princess Peach or something." Milhouse asked.
"It has to be a movie character... and Billy went as Princess Peach..." Lisa sighed.
"Boring!" said Billy from Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy dressed as Princess Peach...
Oscar winced and arched an eyebrow. "That still freaks me out..."
"Anyway lads, I'm off to do some ultra-pranking..." said Bart chuckling.
..
Dum's one room apartment.
Dum is still eating. He ate a sandwich. Then took a bag of potato chips from the draw under the microwave oven and ate them. Then he microwaved something.
Marge got bored with him.
"I like food..." said Dum.
So did the Hungry Caterpillar and he didn't need to entertain a lady...
Meanwhile Luther Vandross wanted his father back. Because he sang about it.
"Sadly he's in a better place now, with that chap from accounting," said Oscar.
Teddy winced irked.
Elsewhere Moleman and Mrs Moleman as Mr and Mrs Alexander hire Darth Vader as a butler and security for the house.
"Well David Prowse... Vader's body..." said Bart.
"I find your lack of manners disturbing..." Vader force choked Alex DeLarge.