Scout saw Sniper walk away, but kept on approaching, determined to get his attention back, and the rest of the gang's, too. However, him getting a gun with his eyes still fixed on him gave him a very bad feeling. He wanted to believe that it was just a reflex movement, that he was going to clean it, or was fidgeting and needed to have something in his hands, anything except…
But yes. He was going to use it. On him.
"That rabbit's too small and thin, the nine of us won't get a single bite from it." Soldier observed.
"It's not a rabbit, it's a hare." Sniper clarified.
"The difference being?" Demoman asked.
"Look at the tip of its ears. Hares—"
"They both got long ears. Period. Shoot it already." Soldier put an end to the discussion before Sniper started to point at the differences at length.
Fair enough. Sniper prepared and shot.
But the hare did something unexpected. It jumped out of the bullet's way.
Sniper frowned.
«WHOA! Sniper, what the flying hell!»
Sniper expected the hunt to be spoiled after that missed shot, but it seemed this hare either had his self-preservation instincts broken or was stupid, because it kept on walking to his encounter. Well, he wasn't going to miss the chance. He recharged and prepared to shoot again.
«Sniper! It's me! Don't shoot!»
Yeah, that animal probably had some kind of brain damage, because it had stopped to nervously shake its front paws, looking at him wide-eyed. For a second, he wondered if it had some disease which would make it inedible. Well, he was so used to hunt and eat whatever he found that he was sure his stomach was disease-proof.
He shot once again, and once again the hare guessed what he was going to do and moved out of the way.
"Heh! Did you see that?" Demoman watched with amusement. Spy and Soldier snickered as well, but Sniper wasn't amused at all. The ashes from his cigarette fell on his shirt and he didn't mind about it: all he had eyes for was that little creature which was starting to rub him the wrong way…
Scout saw that Sniper was not the guy to approach. There was just one thing he had to do: run, run for his life! And he did it on zig-zag, in order to avoid the next bullets flying into his direction.
"That's fucking Bugs Bunny!" Soldier admired the furry contestant.
"You little cunt…!" Sniper muttered under his breath. He would have kept on shooting if it wasn't for the gun getting unloaded.
The hare hid under Engineer's van, and kept on watching very, very cautiously. Did it expect more bullets? Or something else?
"Wasting bullets on a two-kilogram little animal. Very professional indeed." Spy said, throwing away the remaining butt of his cigarette and walking back inside.
Soldier put out his cigar against the wall while snickering, and followed shortly.
"Yeah, mate, let it go. That little wily thing deserves to live." Demoman said to Sniper, patting his back.
Sniper replied nothing but, from the look on his face, one could tell he disagreed and was definitely not going to forget this. For a man who boasted about killing everyone and everything he met, losing to a rodent had to feel very humiliating. He glared into the hare's direction and muttered something Scout could easily read on his lips: "I'm gonna get you, sooner or later. Damn sure I will. And I'm gonna eat your heart raw", before locking himself into his van. Fearing that he would come out with another loaded gun, Scout darted out of his hideout and towards Demoman.
«Demo! Demo!»
Demoman smiled at him.
"You should leave now, little one. Don't push your luck." He told him, then walked into the base.
«Wait, Demo, it's me! It's Scout! Listen to me, dammit!», Scout tried to follow him, but Demoman closed the door in his nose. He tried to push it open but couldn't. Fearing that Sniper would try to kill him once again, he ran away from there, looking for another way in.
«When I turn back to normal, I'm gonna beat Sniper's ass! What was that about?! What does he think I'm—?! Oh, right, yeah, I'm a rabbit. Everybody's hunting game. Wait. No. Hare. He said I'm a hare. Rabbit, hare, whatever; I don't like this. I need to get to Engie and Heavy. They're the only sane people here. They will actually pay attention to a gesturing rabbit and won't try to shoot it cold. They're the ones I need to find. Engie. Heavy. Sniper's a jerk. The others don't listen. Definitely not Pyro. And Medic…, screw Medic, this is his fault!»
He had to get in there. He was sure there had to be some place he could slip through, some open door. He walked around the base trying to find it, but found none. Of course, they didn't battle BLU for two weeks to leave the door open for them to sneak in.
After a very long while, of trying to push doors open and trying to fit through cracks, all of this while making sure Sniper wasn't around, he finally found a way. The showers' high windows. Engineer had told him and the rest of the team to leave it open because of the smell and in order to keep convenient humidity levels. But there was a problem with those windows. It was in their name. High. How was he going to reach them?
The answer was in all the crates they kept outside, where they wouldn't take up too much space.
When he was ordered to pile them up, he complained a lot, but now…, oh, now he was so thankful about them!
He was still a mighty good jumper in this form. Now that he thought that he was in full control of his new body, he had no trouble climbing that wooden mountain. Gee, he was really small! That didn't look that tall when he was a human! But he was more afraid of the predators than the height. He had to get in there. And so focused on the window above him. He was almost there. Come on, you're at the top. A double jump and there you are. One, two…
His intention was to land on the frame, but Scout fell flat on his face on the tiled floor of the bathroom.
«Ow.»
He shook his head. Well, he was in. Mission accomplished. «Now, let's look for the baldies.»
Engie was probably in the room he had claimed as his workshop. It wasn't too far from the bathroom. There! The door was closed, so he was probably inside, working on some brainiac stuff. «I know he's always telling me to let him work in peace, but this is important. He will love this kinda stuff.» He tried knocking, but found that his paws didn't make any sound. Stupid fluffy paws. He even tried with his head. Yeah, not even he heard the knocking, and it hurt. «I need something to knock the door with…»
Hm…A Crit-a-Cola empty can! Yeah! There had to be plenty of them from the previous day inside the garbage can!
He ran towards the garage, when he turned the corner and found something which made him freeze.
Pyro, standing there, muttering something to a lit match which was consuming in her hand.
There was no other way…
«…God, please, help me…»
Feeling his tiny heart racing inside of his chest, he debated with himself for a second about the best way to do this and decided to use the tactic he always used in battle: running. Running too fast to be detected. Luckily, Pyro seemed entranced by her match and would pay no attention to anything else around her…
But she did notice the big shadow slipping by her side and rose her head. She immediately started following.
Was something worse than Sniper shooting at him? Oh, yeah: Pyro. That was so much worse. Scout was now terrified, because he had seen what his teammate did with everyone she crossed paths with, and now that he was an animal, a small, defenseless, unimportant vermin…«Thank you for nothing, God!»
An open door, please! Somewhere to hide! What the hell, God? There was nothing! All doors were closed, there was nowhere to hide!
He jumped up the stairs, mouth open to pant more out of fear than tiredness. Pyro was following closely.
When she reached the upper floor, she stopped. The corridor in front of her was empty. Where was that thing? Because she had seen something…She opened the nearest room. Nothing. She tried the next. Nuh-uh.
She didn't try looking back, at the wall behind her, right at the top of the stairs. Scout didn't miss the chance and ran down, ran as fast as he could.
«Okay, God, guess you did give me a hand here. Thanks.»
And thanks for those fluffy paws which made no noise…
Should he still try to follow his original plan? He felt so confused, so scared…Everything wanted to kill him…«What do people have against hares? I mean, look at me! I'm adorable! Cut me some slack!»
He reached the garage. Soldier and Demoman were there, now talking about boots, sitting at the table, and Medic («jerk!») was preparing some kind of mixture for his birds. They were all busy, so, if he did this quietly…
He approached the trash bin, tried to push it somewhere where he could rummage without attracting anyone's attention, when the door opened and Sniper walked in. He instinctively hid behind the bin.
"Pauling's here." Sniper announced, and the girl walked in behind him.
«Miss Pauling!», Scout couldn't help peeping. «Oh, I didn't want her to know…Well, perhaps…, when I tell her all I've been through she'll be like: 'Oh, Scout, you are so brave! Even as a hare you look handsome!'.»
"You should have told me about this, guys. It's very important." She said to the men in the room, minus Sniper, who went to tell the others about her coming.
"We were sure he knew what he was doing, Miss Pauling." Soldier shrugged.
"The Administrator is concerned. I am concerned."
«Ah! She's surely talking about me! Yeah, she knows I'm gone and came to look for me! I'm here, Miss Pauling!»
The rest of the team came quickly.
"It was probably a rat, Pyro. But don't set this one on fire: last time you did that…" Engineer was telling Pyro when they walked into the room and met Miss Pauling. "Hello, Miss. I reckon you've come for—"
"Yes. For him."
Scout's heart skipped a beat. He thought she was pointing in his direction.
But it turned out she was addressing Medic.
"What did I do?" He asked.
"Told you boss would know about wild animals on basement." Heavy muttered to his friend.
"I told the Administrator! It's an investment!"
"Yes, but those animals you get organs from have gotten loose three times this week!" Miss Pauling replied.
"I would like to take the chance and speak about what you have been filling our cavities with…" Spy spoke up, glaring at Medic.
Although Scout had his opinion about the matter, he was disappointed to know he was not the main topic here.
«Wow, you guys are really good at giving me the cold shoulder. Impressive, yeah. Well done, Doc, stealing attention from me with your shit. You know what? It hasn't been twenty-four hours and I'm very tired of this, so I'm gonna swallow my pride and ask for help. But, just so you know, hadn't it been for Merasmus doing this to me, you wouldn't have heard from me in years!»
Okay, he was going to reveal himself. He had to be very careful. Sniper and Pyro were there. Miss Pauling would surely understand immediately: she was so smart and so damn pretty…A princess with glasses…
«Princess…Wait a second…Wait a second! That's it! Ma used to read me stories with enchanted princes and princesses! I know that crap! A kiss from a princess and the curse is broken and the frog turns back into a prince! True love's kiss breaks the spell! It always works, and sure this time is no different. I mean, I've seen wizards, walking skeletons, giants, headless horseless horsemen, fish people…, why shouldn't I believe in this?»
He waited for the occasion to come…
"…put them down or something, at least. Have some mercy, please!" Miss Pauling said.
He couldn't believe he was actually going to do this! A dream come true. Thank you, Merasmus! (and screw you, by the way!).
"By the way, where's Scout?"
"No idea." Was all they had to say about the matter.
"Ah." And that was all response from her as she took a seat.
Now!
He was very afraid, but at the same time he had never been more ready in his life.
Miss Pauling let out a little exclamation when suddenly something jumped on her lap and, placing a hand on her chest for balance, pressed its snout against her lips.
Scout didn't change back. Before he could try again, just to be safe, he was grabbed by the ears by Soldier.
"What do you think you're doing, lil' rascal?"
«OW! LET GO, LET GO! THAT HURTS! THAT HURTS A LOT!»
"What the…"
"A hare?"
"Awwwww!" Pyro exclaimed under her mask, clasping her hands together.
"Eugh!" Miss Pauling wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and looked at him with disgust. "See what I mean, Medic?"
"That's not mine!" Medic quickly replied. "I've only got tigers, gorillas, baboons, blowfish, crabs…"
"Where did that thing come from?" Engineer looked at Scout with a smile. "No, Soldier, you're hurting it." And took him and held him gently, giving him a couple of reassuring strokes.
«Yeah, you are, asshole! Where did you learn to pick up rabbits?», Scout glared at Soldier.
"If that thing got in, it means you've got to check all the entrances, guys." Miss Pauling said, and looked at Scout with disgust. "I hope it doesn't have lice…"
"Won't happen again." Heavy said.
"Yes, it won't, because I'm eating it stewed…" Sniper mumbled. Scout didn't get to hear what he said but the look on his face was enough.
«Guys…Guys, it's me!» Scout shook in Engineer's hands, and he caressed him while shushing him.
"Well, I'm gonna go wash my mouth. I hope I can bring you news from Mann soon." Miss Pauling said, getting up from the chair and walking towards the exit.
"Bye, Miss Pauling." Soldier waved his hand at her.
"Heh! It looks like the hare which embarrassed you, Sniper!" Demoman gave Scout a close look. "I've never seen a rabbit this smart."
"I don't understand all of this fuss, for a few potentially dangerous animals, well secured in their cages, where they bother no one…" Medic was telling Heavy as they walked away.
"Perhaps Doc can transplant its brain into the Demoman from the other team. The bloke was a bloody twat, hehehe!"
"All animals are lured by warmth and food, which means we did not do a good job keeping this place secret and secured. If a rabbit could get in, men can. I knew I should have double-checked…" Spy sighed at his team's incompetence and was about to go fix the mistake quickly.
"What should we do about this one?" Engineer asked.
"Do away with it. It's seen too much." Spy replied before disappearing.
«You think a freakin' hare's gonna snitch?! What the hell, Spy?! Guys! Don't listen to him! Don't!»
"Give it to me…And a few carrots, garlic, rosemary…" Sniper was about to get his hands on it when Pyro pried it from Engineer's hands.
"Give it to me, Pyro. It's personal."
"Nah!" Pyro refused, and cuddled Scout. She smelt of...gasoline...
"Pyroooooo." Sniper complained, but he knew what the dreadful consequences of crossing Pyro were, and so didn't insist. He looked at Scout with a cruel smirk. "Well…I just need to wait for a while to see it chopped and roasted…"
Scout feared he was right…