The Fluffiest Servants of Khorne
Report by Diviner Theodore Steiff
It is not often discussed, but the True God Khorne has never created a minor daemon variant to serve him, as his need for his servants to engage in glorious and honourable battle has prevented such a daemon being able to join his mighty hordes, as they would simply be trampled underfoot in the melee. This has held true for time immemorial. Until Now.
In our glorious Protectorate, one of the most popular children's toys is the Khornate Plush Bear, a stuffed toy of an ursine animal about 30cm in length, wearing a small horned helmet and carrying a tiny model hand axe (Although it has become something of a cult hobby to customise them, and there are now uncountable homemade variants, equipped with toy arms varying from chain weapons, to bolt rifles, to large claws. The helmet is widely considered indispensable, though people often make the horns bigger or replace them with crests not dissimilar to the one worn by Legionnaire Hektor).
They first became popular after several picts of Mistress Zerayah's 2nd birthday were made available to the public print sheets. One of them showed then General, now Field Marshal Mahlone giving the Liberator's adoptive daughter the original Khornate Plush Bear, which according to unsubstantiated rumours he had made himself, and which she famously named "Bjorn". After vast public interest was expressed, the USA capitalised and started mass production of them, all profits going to the USA widow(er) and orphan fund, which as a direct result has grown to be the single largest charitable holding in the Protectorate.
It has become something of a folk belief that when a child sleeps with one of these, it protects them from the predations of the horrors that prowl the realm of dreams where it intersects with the Warp, a superstition that has spread to every planet in the Protectorate with any significant population of children. And as we know, when enough people believe something about the Warp, it can become true through sheer psychic influence.
Just as Tzeentch has its Blue Horrors and Nurgle has the foul Nurglings, Khorne now has the Ursa's. These tiny bipedal bear-like daemons, equipped just like their psychic inspirations with helms and a variety of armaments, look almost comical. The only noise they make is a tiny roaring sound, hardly terrifying. However, underestimating them has proven a fatal mistake for many, as they hit far above their weight class through sheer unalloyed ferocity.
Running in hunting packs, and moving surprisingly fast for something with stubby little legs and no actual feet, they work together to swarm their opponents, the ones with guns peppering their foes with shot, the ones with claws clambering up their prey to gouge and tear, and the ones with bladed weapons attempting to hamstring their enemies and bring them down to their level, at which point it's all over bar the screaming.
Ursa's are also astoundingly durable. Their psychic inspiration is a well made thing, built tough, meant to last an entire childhood of energetic play, and with love and care are often handed down many generations. This means that Ursa's can survive the heaviest fields of combat. Being kicked by an armoured boot will naturally send them flying, but they'll get straight back up again and charge right back into the battle.
They seem to have a particular loathing for Nurglings, and unlike with larger foes will duel them one-on-one if possible, facing them on equal terms. In such combat they usually come out victorious through superior skill and aggression, breaking their foe's wicked filth laden knives and shattering their disgusting teeth before slaying them.
They are also intensely honourable, and there is no record of one raising their arms against a non-combatant. They will also not brook any action, even when ordered to by a Greater Daemon, that endangers children. It is simply anathema to their very nature. When not going to war they are often sensed patrolling the places where the Warp meets the dream realm, preventing more insidious daemons from crossing over into the dreams of children, especially the youth of the Protectorate, though they do not seem to discriminate against the children of worlds which have not yet been Liberated. We believe their intent is to let the young grow up strong and unafraid, to hopefully one day become great and noble warriors themselves. It is also from such dreams that they themselves seem to emerge, being manifested by the imaginations and hopes of the innocent, and by protecting their psychic spawning grounds they continue to grow more numerous.
Some Ursa's which have distinguished themselves in significant ways, such as single handedly slaying foes many times their size, are noticed by the greater servants of Khorne and are honoured accordingly. These Ursa's are given the right to accompany, not the most powerful, but the most honourable Champions of Khorne, running at their heel or even standing upon one of their pauldrons if armed with a ranged weapon, quite literally watching their companion's back. How the Champions feel about this is not known, although some have been seen to use cooperative tactics with their tiny squires, picking them up and throwing them at their foes, letting their diminutive weapons strike with great force, or intercepting mighty blows that would have destroyed the Ursa if they had connected.
The Ursa's also seem to have a leader, a unique Daemonic Herald of Khorne, rarely seen in the Materium as it is usually standing guard over the dreams of the children of Slawkenburg itself. This is believed to be the personification of the original Khornate Plush Bear given to Mistress Zerayah, the first Ursa to manifest and the most powerful by far. It certainly looks like the Picts of "Bjorn", although it seems to have obtained a small though proportionally huge Daemon Sword, which would have been a knife on a Bloodletter but which cuts like the greatest of Firestorm Blades, and a tiny suit of plate armour forged from brass from Khorne's own forges. It is unknown if "Bjorn" has also been altered to look like this, as no one among our number is willing to embarrass Mistress Zerayah with questions about her favourite childhood toy.
In conclusion, the Ursa's are a fine addition to the brass legions of Khorne, a boon to the youth of humanity, and a demonstration of the sheer power contained in the imaginations of children.
Inspirational credit to Aboyandhisstarship, FluffyVoid, and SLA.