One morning, several months later, I awoke to find an arm around my waist and a lovely warm body pressed close to mine. This time there was no fear - I knew exactly who it was.
'Good morning, Bob' I said, as I turned to face him.
'Good morning, Katrina – Hey - I thought ghosts were meant to scare you. I'd better be more spooky next time.
'You'd never scare me - I love you too much' I said as I snuggled up to him. 'Are these visits going to be a regular occurrence?'
'I don't know. This whole thing's as new to me as it is to you. I'll keep it up though, as long as my luck holds out.' He grinned. 'That's if you want me to'.
'Could you ever doubt that?'
'Well' he said, feigning sadness as he looked down. 'There are times when you don't think about me.'
'When's that?'
'When you're asleep' he said, grinning as he pulled me closer.
'Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I asked.
'Depends,' he said.
'Depends on what?'
'Depends on how you treat me now I'm here'.
'I'm always good to you, aren't I?' I asked.
'Good to me and good for me' he replied.
He smiled - and I could feel myself being drawn into the depth of those brown eyes.
'Oh, Bob, I can't believe this is happening. I was so lost when you died. I'd never felt so alone. I couldn't understand why - I still can't - because we spent so little time together.'
' Katrina - it's not the length of time you spend with someone - the hours, the days - it's the depth, the meaning of that time. And our time was never wasted - we filled every minute - every hour'.
'Yes, I guess we did'.
'Just as we're going to do now.' He winked. ' We can either use my visit to have a very interesting, informative chat. You can update me on the state of the world' …..
'Which I'm sure you don't want to hear. It would only depress you' I said ….
'Or' he continued, smiling 'I can - if you prefer - re-introduce you to a friend of mine.'
I looked at him. His eyes were twinkling.
'A very dear friend - a very close friend'. He whispered ' His name is Clyde.'
'I believe I've met him before. If I remember correctly, we got on together quite well.'
'Yes. Clyde's always been particularly fond of you. I don't know why - you almost squeezed the life out of him sometimes….but he loved it!'
'Well, if I've been so cruel to you you'd better stay well away from me this time.'
'Uh are some kinds of cruelty that I love.'
With that, he pulled my nightie over my head and - in a flash - he was standing by the side of the bed.
'You move quickly ' I said.
'One of the perks of being an angel' he replied. 'Undress me'.
'Yes, sir,' I said.
'Slowly - I want to savour every moment of it.'
His body - though hard and solid - had a softness to it - a strange, ethereal feeling that I had never felt before. It suddenly made me realise that he was no longer of this world - a truth that I tried so hard to forget. The sadness, the pain I felt, must have shown in my eyes.
'What's the matter, Katrina? What is it?
'The truth suddenly hit me.'
'The truth? What truth?'
'That you're not really here anymore.'
'Aren't I real to you now?'
'Yes, but I know it will be for such a short time - and then you'll be gone again.'
'I'm sorry, Katrina, but I can't undo what's been done. If my visits are going to upset you I won't come any more.'
'Oh no, Bob. No please. Any time I can have with you is so precious'.
'Don't you think that I have wished - time and again - that it could have ended differently? I told you once that I believed our fate was planned out from the moment we were born. I'd always felt that my time would be limited - perhaps that's why I'm being granted these extra hours.'
'And I'm so grateful for that' I said.
'Well then - let's stop wasting time.'
With a scoop of his arms he lifted me up and laid me on the bed. He positioned himself over me - and yet it was the strangest feeling. He was warm, he was solid - and yet there was something else - something unworldly. I'd always loved his body - it's strength, it's beauty - but now there was more - I could sense it but had no explanation.
He looked at me - his eyes soft and gentle.
'I love you so much, Katrina. I always have … and I always will. I think I fell for you that first time you visited. I wanted you so much then ….and I want you so much now'.
With that - he clamped his mouth over mine - his lips soft, yet demanding. His tongue was in my mouth, sending shivers down my spine. He pressed his body close to mine, the hairs on his chest rubbing against my breasts.
His mouth moved to my ear, sucking the lobe, pushing his tongue inside, causing sensations I didn't know existed.
He then trailed his lips, his tongue down my neck, across my shoulders, until he reached my breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth, licking, sucking, whilst kneading the other breast with his hand.
Moving down my body his hands were gliding slowly over my stomach, my hips, until he reached his destination. He began - very gently, very softly - to rub his hand up and down between my legs, ensuring that each time his finger was caressing a certain little button. Suddenly he stopped, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him, Clyde's hardness almost painful against me. He looked at me - his eyes dark.
'I want you so badly'. It was no more than a hoarse whisper as he plunged himself deep within me. I don't think I had ever felt him so big, so hard. Several minutes later the explosion came simultaneously, our bodies clasped tightly to each other. We lay still for several minutes in the afterglow until Bob slowly moved away to lie on his side, his arm around me.
'Can I ask you something?' he asked softly.
'You know you can'.
'Does it feel any different to you?' he said. ' You know - our lovemaking.'
'I think it feels more intense. Even better than it used to be …if that's possible.'
'That's what I thought. Oh, well, there are some perks to being an angel'.
'Are you sure this is the way angels are meant to behave?'
'I don't know. I've told you before - this is my first shot at being one'. He smiled, his brown eyes twinkling. ' Long as we're not hurting anyone I don't see what harm it can do. I'm bringing joy and glad tidings to someone on earth. Isn't that what angels are meant to do?'
'You're certainly doing that.' I paused for a moment as a thought suddenly struck me. ' Can I ask you something now? Something I've been wondering about since your last visit.'
'Go ahead'.
'Do you visit anyone else?'
'No.' He grinned. 'Is there a hint of jealousy there?'
'No'
He laughed. 'Only you, my sweet'.
'Why am I so blessed?'
'I can only think that it's the depth of love you feel for me that draws me to you. If you stop loving me I won't be able to come anymore.' He pulled a sad, sulky face.
'Don't worry. That will never happen.'
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him.
'You disappeared so quickly last time' I continued 'I found a white feather by my bed. Did you leave it?'
'Isn't that what angels are supposed to do?' he asked.
'Where did it come from?'
'My wings, of course.' He gave a wicked smile.
'Your wings? Where are they now then?'
'Outside. They'd have got in the way up here'.
'But they might get stolen' I said, trying to keep a straight face.
'Uh, uh. They're invisible'.
'So you've got invisible, detachable wings?'
'Shall we change the subject?'
'I think you're telling me porkies, Bob. Angels shouldn't tell fibs'.
'Angels shouldn't do a lot of things that I've been doing.' He grinned.
'Oh, I don't know,' I said. 'I should think angels are supposed to make people happy…and you make me very happy!'
'Well, I couldn't have you feeling as sad as you did for so long after I'd gone. I felt kinda guilty'.
'But it wasn't your fault. You didn't ask to die.'
'No, but I couldn't help feeling that I shouldn't have got involved with you in the first place.'
'Oh, but I'm so glad you did.'
'Was it worth all the pain?'
'Yes. And you're making up for that now.'
He leant over me, kissing my forehead.
'Trouble is' he said 'I never know when I'm going to be summoned back. Look what happened last time - just as we got to the interesting bit I was whooshed off.'
'That's not a very romantic phrase - 'the interesting bit'.
'Well remember I'm an ignorant country boy. I don't understand big words.'
'What do you understand?'I asked.
'Big cocks - and I've got one right now.'
'That was quick' I said.
'Another of the perks…..' he replied as he pulled me to him 'You'll have to forgive me if I leave rather suddenly again. I'll try not to'.
Holding my face between his hands he kissed me gently, tenderly. 'I love you so much,' he whispered.
'And I love you, Bob, and I always will.'
Our kisses grew deeper, more intense, our bodies melting into one another. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, then laid back down, pulling me close.
'Sit on me' he whispered. 'Squeeze him really tight'.
As I obeyed him he moved his hands gently, teasingly, across my back, whilst softly kissing my nose, my cheeks, my lips. He lifted me up slightly and began moving his hips, up and down - slowly at first, but then gradually moving faster and faster, deeper and deeper, until, with one final, hard thrust, he transported us both to another world.
'Oh, Bob' was all I could say, as I slowly came back to reality.
He looked at me, his eyes so warm, so beautiful, so full of love, I swear I could see heaven in them.
We lay, in silence, holding each other close for several minutes, until he said 'We really have been blessed this time, haven't we?'
'You'll never know what these visits mean to me' I replied.
'Yes, I will. Katrina, because they mean the same to me.' He paused. 'Look out for some lovely sunsets in the weeks to come.'
'I will,' I said. 'Are they just for me?'
There was no reply…and I suddenly realised that I was alone. I began to cry, but then I felt soft fingers wiping the tears away…..and I knew that Bob would always be with me.
Katrina Relf - July 2024