Chapter 25 - Hidden Correspondence
Elizabeth's mind had been wandering again - her mind seemed to be wandering a lot recently. She tried to keep her thoughts to subjects of the moment, but she found herself again and again thinking of the one person who she had promised herself she would think of no more. She was occupied thus thinking of where he had gone and what he might be doing at that very moment when Jane appeared at the door.
"Lizzy, can I come in?" Jane asked quietly.
"Of course."
It was a relief to be distracted from her thoughts. Jane was smiling, for a moment it felt as if nothing were wrong, their father was not dying, nor was she engaged to Mr Collins.
Jane stepped into the room and sat down next to her, a letter in her hand. "A letter came for you. I didn't recognize the hand." Jane said, handing it to her.
Elizabeth looked down at the address, expecting to see Charlotte or Miss Darcy's hand. But no, it looked like Mr Darcy's. Her pulse quickened as she quickly turned the letter over to open it. What could he mean by writing to her, it was against every rule of propriety for a gentleman to write to a lady who was not his betrothed and who was not a relation. It had been dangerous enough from him to slip her that note in London, but this was something entirely different.
However she relaxed when she see the first page of the letter, it was Miss Darcy's handwriting, she recognised it from the letter which she had already received from her.
"It is from Miss Darcy, it did not look like her hand on the address. I thought for a moment that he had-" she did not explain. She did not want to admit to Jane just how silly she had been. Her mind was just playing tricks on her that was all.
"She is coming to stay at Netherfield, Mr Bingley told us yesterday." Jane said, "Caroline Bingley is coming back and she is joining her. It will be pleasant to have ladies in the house again. I fear Mr Bingley has been rather lonely on his own."
Elizabeth hardly heard her sister, for she was too busy reading her letter, she glanced up a moment later to see that Jane had left the room. She turned her attention back to the letter.
The letter was innocent enough, Miss Darcy's pleasure on seeing her cousin Lady Rowena and the plans they had made. How thick the snow had been this year, how she had slipped more than once on the ice. How she much preferred Pemberley in the winter to town in the winter. The letter ended as the last one had, that she hoped her brother would let her come to Hertfordshire soon.
Elizabeth turned the page expecting to see a post-script and was surprised to see another letter entirely, in the same hand as the address. Her hands trembled as she unfold it, her heart beating faster.
Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Be not alarmed, madam, on receiving this letter, that it contain any repetition of those inquiries that were, last evening so disgusting to you. But I must be allowed to speak to you, by whatever means are within my grasp and the effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter must occasion should have been spared, had not my character required it to be written and read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention; your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand it of your justice.
Elizabeth's hands were trembling as she read. "How dare he!" Elizabeth thought, her fingers clenching around the letter. "Has he no regard for propriety? For my position?" She felt heat rising in her cheeks, a familiar indignation coursing through her veins. Had he not caused her enough grief?
I apologise for the deception of concealing my letter within that of my sister's.
Yet, even as anger flared, she found her eyes drawn back to his words. "I apologise for the deception…" she read again. What else did he have to say? Despite herself, she leaned closer, her anger giving way to a burning curiosity.
As she read his apology, Elizabeth felt a twinge of remorse. "I told him to leave," she remembered, her stomach twisting uncomfortably. Had she been too harsh? Too quick to judge, as she had been before?
I am sure that you will have heard by now that my sister, Georgiana, will be joining Mr Bingley at Netherfield Park, with his sister. I have done as you asked madam, and I have removed myself from the neighbourhood. They will be setting out for Hertfordshire in a few days and accompanying them will be my good friend, Doctor Russell. He will be remaining the neighbourhood for sometime. He is a good man, who I have the utmost faith in. And I hope that he might be able to provide some small assisantnce.
"Doctor Russell… I hope that he might be able to provide some small assistance." Elizabeth's heart quickened. Was Darcy still trying to help, even from afar? For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine what it might mean, before firmly pushing the thought away.
Two offences, you laid to my charge, that I should have acted sooner, to which I can only say that you are quite correct. I should have acted sooner. In my defence, I had seen Mr Collins's preference for you, but I did not believe that there was any cause for concern on that count. I knew enough of your character to believe that you would not commit yourself to someone who you did not consider your equal. I was ignorant of the circumstances. I will not cause you more pain by relating again the reasons why I did not act sooner.
The second charge was that my behaviour towards you, since learning of your engagement, is not that of a gentleman's. Again here I am forced to agree with you, my behaviour has not been as I would wish it. I will endeavour to conduct myself in a manner more befitting a gentleman in the future. I sincerely hope that you find the happiness that you seek for.
I will only add, God bless you.
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Elizabeth set the letter down, her mind whirling. How could one man provoke such a storm of emotions within her? She had been so certain of her path, of her duty. Now, with just a few lines of ink on paper, Mr Darcy had thrown everything into question once more.
"I don't understand," she whispered to herself, running a hand through her hair. "I don't understand him, or myself." She glanced at the letter again, torn between the urge to read it once more and the desire to burn it and forget it had ever existed.
She put the letter down determined not to give it or him any further thought and she walked to the window to look out.
'I have done as you asked, madam, and I have removed myself from the neighbourhood.'
He had done that!
She paced back and forth in the small room before seizing the letter up again reading it through. She was struck by his sending his sister. He had given no reason for it, but that she could guess readily enough.
Elizabeth's eyes traced the now-familiar lines for the third time, lingering on the words 'I sincerely hope that you find the happiness that you seek for.' Her heart quickened as she considered-
'Lizzy! What are you doing hiding up here?'
Elizabeth started, nearly dropping the letter as Lydia and Kitty burst into the room. Hastily, she tucked it beneath her book, her cheeks flushing.
"Lizzy, are you quite well? You look positively feverish," Lydia said, peering at her sister curiously.
"I'm perfectly fine," Elizabeth replied, forcing a smile even as Mr Darcy's words echoed in her mind. "What did you need?"
"Lizzy, Sir William is hosting a party." Kitty said happily.
"Carter, Wickham, Denny and well all of the officers are all to be there," Lydia interrupted, "and Charlotte is to come back."
"That is good news indeed. It has been too long since I saw Charlotte." Elizabeth said, "When is this party?"
"On Wednesday. Lady Lucas was just here." Kitty said sitting down next to her sister.
"La, you have not even told her the best bit yet." Lydia said sitting down on the bed.
"Charlotte is being courted by a sailor. Can you imagine, Charlotte, a navy captain's wife?"
Elizabeth smiled despite herself. "And does this dashing sailor have a name?"
"Captain Northam." Kitty supplied, "And I think it is romantic."
"I would rather have an officer in the army than a sea captain in the navy courting me. Mama says that sailors are never handsome, something about the salt in the water." Lydia giggled.
"Well then, it is a good job that Captain Northam is courting Charlotte and not you then." Elizabeth said, causing both of her sisters to laugh.
ooOoo
Caroline Bingley knew something was going on, why else would Mr Darcy ask her if she would like to join his sister on a trip to Hertfordshire to visit Charles? She had agreed, of course, she would never agree to almost anything he asked her to do and particularly when the request was a change to spend more time with dear Georgiana.
His fine carriage had come to collect her and her belongs from the Hurst's house early that morning as promised. She had been surprised not to find Mr Darcy in it, but rather his sister, her companion Mrs Annesley and a gentleman she had never met before, a Doctor Russell. He was about thirty, not as handsome as Mr Darcy, but not at all repulsive in appearance, a little shorter than average, but he carried himself in a very dignified manner that more than made up for it. He was not a man of great fashion, but quite the gentleman. Introductions were made and they were off to Hertfordshire again.
She could not work out why he was there. Georgiana said hardly a word, which was not unusual, but something still struck her as strange about the situation. She learnt from a brief conversation with Doctor Russell, that he had been a friend of Mr Darcy's for many years. She could not gather any more particular details from him, for he turned the conversation towards Hertfordshire. Miss Bingley found that she was obliged to give an account of the county, a task she acquitted herself of with speed and as much spirit as she could muster considering her distaste for the county she was speaking of, and the whole party spent the rest of the trip in silence.