hi! English isn't my first language. thought in italic , dialogue in " ", POV alterning and Naruto's still not mine.
Chapter 13
Getting an audience with her father was easy.
It's making the actual request that'll prove hard. Somehow, Hinata always felt like she reverted back to that shy twelve-year-old in his presence.
Making her feel unworthy was an artform he excelled at.
Her relationship with her father has always been complicated.
Not to say that he didn't love her. She knew that he did in his own way.
But he only believed in tough love.
Words of encouragement were a rarity in the Hyuuga household. Her family was never known for being warm. It was why she was such an anomaly.
Growing up gentle in an environment that thrived on ruthlessness had been hard. She had almost been crushed under the weight of her father's cold gaze and the sneer of the elders.
Her team had been her saving grace. Kurenai-sensei had provided the comfort of the mother she lost at a young age. Kiba had been the laughter in her darkest days and Shino had been the silent pillar that upheld her when she couldn't stand on her own.
But it was to Naruto Uzumaki that she owed a great debt. He had been her source of inspiration. The courage that filled her heart. The one that made her seek her inner strength.
He was the sun that she basked in.
It was why it hurt so much when he broke her heart. But it was also why she chose to forgive him.
She owed him for making her believe in herself enough to change.
That belief sometimes did waver, but Hinata knew she'll be able to stand back up and soldier on.
The young heiress sat ramrod straight on the tatami mat, facing her father.
"You wished to speak to me Hinata." Hiashi said with a neutral expression.
"Yes Father. It's about the Tournament taking place in a few weeks." She held eye contact.
Don't show fear.
"What about it?" He asked.
"Allow me to be the representative of our clan. I promise to bring honor and glory upon the Hyuuga name." She raised her chin, knowing that using the old words of the noble clans would show how serious she was about her request.
"This tournament is about showing our strength." He said eyes flat "You do not show cast that strength."
"I-I am strong e-enough." Hinata cursed her stutter for reappearing at the most unfortunate moments.
"Maybe you were after the war. But your skills have since declined."
"That is not t-true" She winced at the judgment always present in his voice.
"Isn't it?" Hiashi's lips formed a thin line. "Was it not you who decided to abandon the front lines in favor of being a medical nin?"
"Being a medical nin doesn't mean I can't fight" Hinata took a breath.
Don't show hesitation.
"I have spent half my life in a track and capture squad." She quoted Sasuke hoping to regain that sense of confidence that filled her two days ago. "I am still the close combat specialist of team 8."
"All the missions you've taken lately have been of a diplomatic nature." Hiashi's eyes seemed to soften momentarily "Your grandmother had taught you how to play the game well."
"But you've always been average when it comes to your fighting skills" His gaze hardened again; he couldn't hide the sourness in his voice.
"I-I have been t-training." Hinata's own mouth thinned at the reminder of her many failures.
"Oh? In our clan's techniques?" His question made it clear he noticed her absence from the dojo.
Hinata could only keep silent. No, she hadn't been training in her clan's techniques. What was wrong with branching out? Especially, since she did struggle with the Hyuuga fighting style.
Why couldn't they see that the traditional way wasn't the only way of doing things?
Her father didn't know about her training sessions with Sasuke, and she wished to keep it that way at the moment for fear of him forbidding it. There used to be some tension between the Uchiha and Hyuuga and her clan wasn't known for its forgiving nature.
"Hiroji Hyuuga is a young branch member and a capable fighter. He will be representing our clan in the tournament. It will be an opportunity to show his skill before being promoted as a new bodyguard for one of our elders" Hiashi stated with a sense of finality.
"But Father. Give me the same curtesy. Let me show my skills" Hinata pleaded, face cast down.
She wanted to do this for herself. She wanted to prove to herself that she was still capable of growth.
She had long given up on her father's approval no matter how much she craved it.
Hinata looked at his face again. She knew that face, it was the face he made before saying something cruel.
"You are not good enough." His words cut like a knife through her "I will not allow you to embarrass the whole clan with your false perception of yourself and incompetence."
The kunoichi's fist tightened on her lap.
"You are dismissed Hinata." Hiashi left no room for more arguments.
"Yes Father."
Hinata walked out head lowered, fists still clenching.
I will never be good enough for him.
Sakura finished writing down in the chart of the patient she just examined.
The prospect of an early dinner filled her with relief.
She has been craving ramen a lot lately. That should've cleared up the question about the paternity of her unborn child.
The rumors about Sasuke being the father had been shocking to say the least.
Not that it was anyone's business.
She was grateful he didn't set them straight. After all she still needed to discuss the matter of going public with Naruto.
Hard to do since she was still avoiding him.
That is why she always took her order to go from Ichiraku. To evade Naruto.
The other part of the rumor was just laughable.
Where did the villagers get such a ludicrous idea that Sasuke would be interested in Hinata of all people?
They never even interacted before. In fact, she wasn't sure the Uchiha even knew of her existence.
Well except when they had that joined project at the hospital.
Still, they should've known better. Everyone knew she was the only female in all of Konoha he tolerated.
And if Sakura herself failed at holding his interest, she doubted shy, unnoticeable, disappear-in-the background Hinata would.
She ignored the part of her that pointed out that even Naruto with his attention deficiency ended up noticing her in the end.
Sakura was walking down the corridor when she sensed his bright chakra like a beacon.
What is he doing here?
She stiffened as she felt his blue-sky eyes on her. Her fight and flight response kicked in and she found herself reaching for the nearest door.
A sigh of relief left her as she made her way down the stairs quickly. Well as quickly as she could with her ever-growing belly.
"Are you serious?"
Sakura jumped as she came face to face with Naruto who didn't look amused at all. In hindsight it was kind of stupid to try to outrun the son of the Yellow Flash.
"N-naruto! What a pleasant surprise" Sakura cringed at his raised eyebrow
"What are you doing here? I don't have an appointment today." The medic steeled herself.
"I know. I'm here to talk to you." Naruto put his hand on the railing cutting off her escape route.
"There's nothing to talk about."
"nothing to ta…We are having a child together!" The pink-haired kunoichi winced at his volume.
"yes, I am well aware of that Naruto!" She screamed back.
"Then why are you keeping me away?!"
"I am not! I tell you about every appointment. You are present at every checkup. I am not keeping you away from your child." Sakura thanked the gods that they happen to be in the least used stairs of the hospital.
"I know Sakura. I would never accuse you of doing such a thing" Naruto softened "But you are keeping me away from you. You won't even give me the chance to talk to you about our future. About us."
Sakura swallowed.
"I don't want you to be tied to me because of a false sense of obligation." She whispered.
"Obligation?" His eyebrows furrowed.
"Isn't that what you wanted to talk about?" She bit her lips hard to stop them from quivering "Aren't you going to suggest we be together?"
"Yes. But.."
"See? You feel like you need to be with me but that is not necessary." Sakura forced a smile "You are free to be with whomever you want."
It hurts.
This was why she was avoiding him.
She knew that the moment he found out about her pregnancy, he'll drop everything and try to create that parental unit for his unborn child. She knew she didn't want him to be with her just because of it. She knew she had to be the one to give him an out.
It hurts to let him go. Because for the first time in her life, Sakura Haruno knew that she loved Naruto and although a part of her still loved Sasuke she could not ignore her feelings for her blond teammate any longer.
"For one of the smartest people I know, you can be quite dense" Naruto smiled.
"W-what?" Her voice was wobbly.
"If you only looked at me once these past few months, you would've known" He took a step towards her "It is you that I want. It has always been you."
"Then why did you get back to her after we slept together?" Sakura took a step out of his reach "You guys were broken up. We slept together but you went back to Hinata after."
"A sense of obligation" He said bitterly "You didn't love me Sakura and I thought.." Naruto exhaled "I thought Hinata would be enough to make me forget you. I thought I could pretend to love her as much as I did you." He took another step towards her and cupped her face with both his hands.
"But she wasn't enough. She'll never be enough." Naruto pressed his forehead against her "I am done pretending that you weren't always my first choice."
Sakura's green eyes were wide, tears glistening at their corners.
"This is the part where you tell me you'll never love me that way." The blond smiled self-deprecatingly .
"I can't do that" Sakura whispered prompting his blue eyes to widen " I..I have feelings for you Naruto. They're confusing and…a part of me is still not over Sasuke. But I can't ignore them anymore."
Sakura felt the tears sliding down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his.
He pulled her closer deepening the kiss as if afraid she'll change her mind.
They were both so wrapped up in each other that their awareness of their surroundings was almost non existing. Neither felt the chakra signature that was present a flight of stairs below them for quite some time. Neither saw the blue hair whipping behind the fleeing figure as she closed the door behind her.
Hinata leaned her head against the closed door wishing she took different stairs.
She thought by using these, she'd avoid the questioning looks she had been receiving all day. It was obvious that her talk with her father this morning was still weighing on her mind.
That was an understatement.
It was weighing on her shoulders. It was crushing her soul.
Why does it still affect her so much after all these years? You'd think she'd be used to being a disappointment to her father by now.
Why did it hurt like it was the first time he verbalized how unworthy she was of bearing the Hyuuga name?
After all these years: she still wasn't enough.
And now Naruto thought the same.
Hinata bit her lower lip hard enough to draw blood. She promised herself she wasn't going to cry over Naruto again. She'd done enough crying that first night he admitted to his betrayal.
But this was another type of betrayal, that cut deeper than the first.
To hear that she was never even close to being his first choice.
That in a way she meant nothing.
That she was not good enough.
Hinata halted her spiraling thoughts by sheer will.
I have to move before I start thinking about it again.
So she ran. She ran out of the hospital not even looking where she was going. She was so out of it that she collided with a hard surface.
If it wasn't for the arms that steadied her, she would've ended up sprawled on the ground.
"Hyuuga-san?"
"K-Kazekage-sama!" Hinata lifted her head at the sound of his voice "Forgive me, I didn't see you there."
"For someone with legendary eyes, you seem to have trouble with eyesight" Gaara said his lips quirking up referring at their previous encounter at the party.
Hinata winced at the reminder of her shortcomings as a Hyuuga.
"I apologize."
"Are you okay Hyuuga-san?" His eyebrows furrowed at her flat expression.
"I'm fine Kazekage-sama" Hinata tried to force a smile "Are you in need of medical assistance? You look like you were heading towards the hospital."
"No, I'm just waiting for Naruto" The red head answered "He said he had a very important conversation to have."
"I see." Her already faltering smile disappeared completely.
"Are you sure you're fine? Do you maybe…" Gaara hesitated, she looked distressed and his sister always lectured him about never ignoring a distressed female. "Do you want some company?"
"I..That is a generous offer Kazekage-sama" Her lips lifted slightly at his attempt at comforting, they weren't what she considered close friends but it was thoughtful of him " but I have to meet Sasuke-san."
"Aah. Uchiha." The young Kage didn't understand that small tinge of disappointment coursing through him at the mention of the other shinobi.
"Thank you Kazekage-sama." She said before bowing and making a hasty exit.
Sasuke was leaning casually against the tree in the middle of Konoha's forest. He was waiting for the blue haired kunoichi that was haunting his thoughts constantly.
He wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to resist whatever was going on between them.
As if summoned, she appeared from behind the thick foliage.
"You're late princess." He said in greeting.
"I'm sorry. I got held up" Hinata answered with a small voice.
Sasuke straightened alarmed at her tone and the tormented look on her face.
Something is wrong.
The last Uchiha met her halfway in the middle of the clearing observing the down turned lips, the downcast eyes that spoke of great distraughtness.
"Taijutsu warm-up?" She asked quietly.
"Maybe we should cancel. It looks like it's about to rain." It was true although it was late afternoon there was no ignoring the dark cloud obscuring the sky.
"Please? I just need.."She trailed off swallowing hard.
Sasuke's response was to take his position while Hinata took the new stance she developed; A mix of her old modified Hyuuga style that suited her agility with his own firmer one that packed a stronger physical attack.
She stepped and jabbed with her right side. Fluid, smooth like silk.
She struck again. One- two.
Again, and again, and again.
In complete silence, her eyes clouded with what seemed like agonizing thoughts. Each jab was firmer than the other.
Thunder rumbled as the first drops of rain touched their skin. It was only a matter of seconds before they were both drenched.
Sasuke didn't stop her, for he understood. He himself has done this multiple times. When the devastation was too much, that he had to break something rather than breaking himself.
It didn't take much more time before a sob ripped out of her throat through clenched teeth. Tears washed away whatever festering wound had been inflicted on her.
The last Uchiha was never good at providing comfort to others. But in this instance his body seemed to have a mind of its own, as his hand found the back of her head pulling her to his chest as if to shield her from her own sorrows.
He didn't completely envelop her in case she wanted out of his embrace, but that didn't seem to be the case as she clung to his shirt and buried her face in his chest.
They stood there soaking wet under the rain, until her sobs turned into small hiccups and she calmed down.
"Let's get you home." Sasuke said with a gentle voice.
"I don't want to go back there." Hinata's small voice was hard to hear with the roar of thunder.
"Ok."
A familiar spiraling portal appeared at his command as he guided her towards it. One step and they were in his apartment. In his bathroom to be precise.
"The towels are in the bottom cabinet" Sasuke stepped back giving her room to breathe "I'll get you something to wear."
Hinata didn't say anything, just stood dripping water all over his floor, hugging herself as if to keep herself from shattering completely.
When he got back with clothes, she was still standing there in a daze.
"Hyuuga" The raven-haired shinobi called out, snapping her back to reality "You'll catch a cold."
Hinata nodded, before facing the shower and pulling back the curtain. That was his cue to leave.
Sasuke went back to his bedroom to get out of his wet clothes. He heated his own body with his chakra, drying himself in a matter of seconds. Fire affinity was a blessing in these situations.
Making his way towards the kitchen, he put the kettle on. Tea couldn't hurt in this situation and it'll help with chasing away the cold.
He didn't know whatever caused this breakdown but he knew that he couldn't just leave her like that in the pouring rain. A few years back he would've, but he wasn't that person anymore. Or maybe it had something to do with the person he would have left behind.
His thoughts were halted by the sound of the whistling kettle.
Preparing two cups he opted to take them to his living room. For although they spent most of their times in his apartment in the kitchen when she dropped by to cook or when he brought her here to dress her wounds accumulated in training. Sasuke knew it was better to be more comfortable for this situation.
It didn't take long for the sound of running water to stop and the bathroom door to open. Hinata stood at the threshold blinking, disoriented but sorrow visible in the depth of her glowing orbs.
Sasuke didn't even get the chance to enjoy the visual of her wrapped up in his clothes.
His shirt was too big for her smaller frame, hanging off of her shoulder. His old white shorts reached a few inches above her knees but were a snug fit against her curves. Her still wet hair was a curtain that reached just above her waist.
He was sure he would've found the whole picture enticing under different circumstances.
Hinata made her way towards the couch taking a seat next to him, tucking her feet under her. She accepted the offered hot beverage presented to her without a single word.
They sat in comfortable silence sipping their tea.
Sasuke didn't push for answers. He knew that the presence of someone can be enough comfort for another, so he sat on his couch his cup empty in his hand until she decided to break the silence.
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" Sasuke looked at her down cast face.
"For being a burden." Her voice was devoid of any emotion.
He hated it.
"You're not." He said firmly turning his body to face her "What is it?"
"I-I...I don't think I can even talk about it" Her voice did regain an emotion then: Pain. He hated that too. "Maybe I can show you instead?"
The Uchiha's eyebrows rose in surprise. He explained to her once the working of a few of his Rinnegan's powers: The Human path grants the power to read's another person's mind but separates the soul from the body ultimately killing the victim, however combined with the effect of his Sharingan he was able to read someone's mind without killing them if he so chose to.
"Are you sure?" He asked "I can't control it perfectly yet. I might see something you don't want me to if your mind wanders."
That was one of the draw backs of his ability. Unlike a Yamanaka's mind walk, he had access to everything. When he delved into someone's memories, he could read their life like a book. It was why this was best left as an interrogation technique.
However with discipline, Sasuke was able to go after a certain memory but if the recipient's mind were to wander off. He might find himself sucked into a few other memories until he regained control which can take a few minutes.
"It's ok" Hinata's pale eyes found their way to his "I trust you."
The dark-haired shinobi was left reeling at the notion. He swallowed audibly as she her body turned towards his.
"You know how this works." His voice was soft as if afraid to break the fragility of her trust.
She nodded looking down again. He cupped her cheek gently lifting her head up until he bore into her eyes. They were as the saying goes the window to the soul.
"Think of what you want to show me. Let it fill your mind" His thumb caressed her cheek absentmindedly as his Sharingan spun to life "This might deplete your chakra."
Her trusting eyes glowed in the moonlight seeping through the window. Her skin was soft against the calloused hand he left resting on her face as a physical tether necessary for the technique.
She really was beautiful.
"Ready?"
She nodded.
"Don't move." Sasuke murmured his Rinnegan blazing.
One blink. Two. And he was in.
He found himself in some kind of stairway listening to a conversation between Naruto and Sakura. The feeling of her dread washing over him with every word uttered. Her/His heart squeezed painfully as Naruto's voice stated "But she wasn't enough. She'll never be enough."
The scene changed rapidly, colors floating and shapes reforming. He was sitting on a Tatami mat facing Hyuuga Hiashi. Her voice came out of his mouth asking to be in the tournament.
She was denied.
Pain flared again at the words: "You are not good enough."
They echoed inside his skull as he was transported to another memory; a meeting with her elders.
Not good enough.
Another memory of a conversation with her father.
Not good enough.
Another of him asking her cousin to protect her in the war.
Not good enough.
A clanmate trying to dissuade her from facing Pein.
Not good enough.
Another brutal training session with her father.
Not good enough.
The disgusted looks of her clan.
Not good enough.
Neji's words at the chunin exams.
Not good enough.
Her scoring second at the ninja academy.
Not good enough.
The fight she lost against her sister.
Not good enough.
Training (beating) sessions when she was five years old.
Not good enough.
Her kidnapping when she was three.
Not good enough.
Not good enough.
Not good enough.
Not good enough!
The words rattled in his brain, until he regained control and broke the connection of their minds.
Hinata's eyes fluttered shut as her forehead fell on his clavicle. The hand that was cupping her cheek cradled the back of her head keeping her in place as Sasuke took a breath to regain his bearings.
"I'm tired" The blue haired kunoichi whispered. He knew she wasn't talking about her depleted chakra reserves.
The tear drops on his exposed skin grounded him back to reality.
"I know." Sasuke moved her head gently laying it on his lap "Sleep."
Her breathing deepened quickly at the feel of his fingers gliding through her still wet locks. The sensation of the heating strand of hair lulled her to sleep.
Sasuke didn't stop caressing her dark mane even after he completely dried it using his chakra. The repetitive motion soothing his own racing thoughts as he rested his head against the back of the couch.
He was tired too.
AN: A bit of NaruSaku , a sprinkle of Gaara and a little bit of Angst in this chapter. I am also a fan of Hinata breaking down in front of Sasuke because she feels safe with him. I hope that translated well.
On another note, check out the one-shot I wrote Of Tequila and Friendship. It's a hilarious small Sasuhina friendship ( at least I like to think so).
Thank you all for the reviews! I am extremely happy that you all felt the heat in the previous chapter. I promise more tension, humor and drama coming up soon.
Tell me what you thought of this chapter please!
I cannot wait to read your thoughts.
-Your faithful writer
Lady Thunder Storm