The Prisoner of Zendai

By UCSBDad

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Farscape or anything of Anthony Hope's. Rating K. Time: Long, long ago in a Farscape galaxy near you.

At least the arguing stopped. It took another fifty microts for an elderly

looking lieutenant to step forward and admit that he was senior.

"I am the senior officer present, your Highness." From his expression, he knew

he had not done well.

I stopped and took several breaths. These people weren't trained Peacekeeper

Commandos. But I had little idea what the frell they were. The lieutenant was

saved from a tirade from his Queen by a fusillade of pulse weapon's fire from

outside.

I turned to the unit. "There are friendly troops just beyond that door. They're

the ones you've been shooting at. When we go outside, don't shoot at all unless

you're positive it's at an enemy.

I grabbed what I hoped was an intelligent soldier. "You! Get on that communicator

by Captain Crichton. Get on it and stay on it until you get Colonel Sapt. Tell him

we have a firefight between elements of my Guard and that I want it stopped at

once! At once! Do you understand that?" He nodded and grabbed the

communicator from John's hand.

"The rest of you, pay attention to what Captain Crichton and I say and do.

You'll be all right."

We moved into the courtyard to the wall. To their credit the troops I had left

there were holding their fire. I could see at least two firefights in progress.

It sounded like a third might be going on in the back of the palace.

"Report!" I said to the nearest group of soldiers. One answered me. "I got the

night sight on my pulse rifle working, Your Highness. The people over by the

tower are wearing our uniform. I'm sure I heard old Corporal Olgaf screaming.

The firefight by the ballroom looks like it's also between our people. We

haven't fired a shot."

I nodded at him. "Very good, Lieutenant."

"Your Highness? I'm a lance bombardier in the..."

John cut him off. "Don't argue with your monarch, Lieutenant. She's too

stubborn."

Before I could give the orders to try to stop the firefights between my own

troops, Colonel Sapt arrived with almost fifty troops.

"Your Highness. May I see you in private?" I pulled him back into an alcove in

the garden. "Your Highness. I have failed you and wish to submit my resignation.

You can hardly have any trust in me after this. I underestimated Mikeela's

people and overestimated our own. You can only..."

I had heard enough. "Shut up, Colonel! I don't have the time or the ability to

find a new Guard commander now. When this is over, I may accept your

resignation. Now, how are we going to straighten out this gigantic shambling

cluster frell?"

It took nearly two arns to stop all the firefights. In the end, we had one last

sniper to account for. John and I crawled up behind him. He was shooting into a

cluster of trees in the front of the palace. John, Sapt and I crawled up beside

him.

"Your Highness!" He was shocked to see me, to say the least, but at least he had

the sense to point out the tactical situation as he saw it. "There were about

ten of them over there in that grove of trees. They just stood there while I

shot at them They were extremely difficult to bring down, but I think I got them

all."

I thanked him and sent him off to join the rest of the Guard in their barracks.

I assured him that we could handle it from here. The three of us rose and walked

into the grove. It was littered with motionless forms.

"Sapt, do you know who they were?" I asked.

"Your Highness, I believe that one is your great grandmother, Eldira VII and

just beyond her is her husband, Haakon the Wise. I believe that we can have them

all repaired and back on their plinths. I'll have that soldier punished for

destroying these statues."

I almost lost my temper. "You will not punish him. He attacked what he thought

was a superior force and kept at it until he thought it was destroyed. He's one

of the few people I've seen tonight that at least tried to behave like a soldier."

I carefully reined in my temper. "Sapt, what the frell is wrong with my Guards.

What happened?"

Sapt was silent for a while. I repeated the question more forcibly. Then he spoke.

"You Highness, there hasn't been a war here in six hundred cycles. Gradually the

other regiments were disbanded as unneeded. Only the Guard remained. There are

the occasional pirates out here, of course, so a small Fleet was maintained, but ground

combat forces seemed an unnecessary luxury. Gradually, the Guard became a purely

ceremonial force. They have a wonderful choir and their band is excellent. The

Regimental Weapons Company has no heavy weapons, but they are in charge of the

Royal Fireworks. They provide attractive officers for Royal Balls and when it rains,

they carry umbrellas for the nobility when they have to go outside."

John had heard enough. "This is what you expected to protect Aeryn with? A bunch

of umbrella jockeys? Are you completely farbot? You have Peacekeepers and

Scarrens around, not to mention Mikeela's bully boys. Didn't you at least consider

the possibility that you'd be up to your frelling ears in a ground war? What kind of a

colonel are you?"

Sapt drew himself up. "I have offered my resignation to Her Highness. She has

chosen to keep my services. I am not accountable to a Sebacean mercenary who..."

Sapt stopped. He stood stock still and then he seemed to sag. "My apologies,

Captain Crichton. I have placed your wife in danger for my own purposes and have

failed to protect her. You have every right to expect redress from me. However,

I did all that I could to try to make the Guard combat worthy. But Chancellor

Seelig was afraid that any attempt to re-militarize the Guard would provoke

Mikeela, not to mention what the Peacekeepers or Scarrens might do."

John relaxed. "Sapt, I'm not interested in nailing your hide to the barn door or

anything. I just want Aeryn to be safe. You do everything in your power to keep

her safe and we'll get along just fine. First, do you have a safe place for her

to sleep tonight? And can you find some dependable Guards out of this bunch?"

Sapt nodded. "There is a guest room in our barracks. I supervised the

construction of that part of the building myself. There are no secret passages

or other surprises. And, we have a dozen or so Guards who used to be Policeman

or Forest Guards. There's one who used to be a hunter of krav 'vuns on the

southern continent. All are trained with weapons and accustomed to danger.

They'll guard Queen Flavia tonight."

John smiled. "No, I'll guard Flavia tonight. They'll just help."

We started back to the barracks. There was one more thing to do tonight.

"Colonel Sapt, how many people are in the Regiment of Guards?"

"A few over six hundred, Your Highness."

I thought for a few microts. "It's been a long night for everyone. Colonel,

please parade the Regiment for my inspection at the third hour past sunrise.

Good night, Colonel Sapt. "

We had arrived at the barracks and my new quarters. I found that the

indefatigable Lady Orlika was there with clothes and a midnight snack. I allowed

her to put me in another floor length nightgown and then I told her what clothes

I'd need for tomorrow. As I expected, she wasn't happy. "Your Highness, such

attire is not suitable for someone of your station. Might I suggest..."

"No, you may not suggest." I snapped. "Just provide the clothes I need." I

softened my voice. "Please Orlika, if we are to survive these days changes will

have to be made." She nodded and left.

I sat and ate with John. Neither of us said a word until the food was gone. Then

John stood and stretched. "Time for bed, Flavia. There's a spare bed just down

the hall from here." He moved to put his arms around me, but I backed way.

"Aeryn? Is something wrong?"

I reached down and took the hem of the nightgown and pulled the whole thing off

over my head. "Captain Crichton, you will stay with your Queen tonight."

John shook his head. "Flavia, there's all kinds of people around here. Someone

would find out. This is not good. Now listen..."

"No, you listen." I lifted him up and put him on the bed. "This is a command,

Captain. The only thing I expect you to say for the rest of the night is,

"Please, more, Flavia." is that understood?"

He must have understood.

JOHN

Orlika sounded like a motorboat, "but-but-but-but." Aeryn paid no attention to

her.

"But, Your Majesty, your attire is, is, is un-describable." She moaned.

Aeryn stood in front of a mirror and adjusted the gunbelt on her right hip. Once

again, she was dressed in black leather.

Aeryn got her "don't frell with me" look in her eyes. "Lady Orlika, if we're

going to keep Streslau from either dissolving in civil war or being overrun by

outside forces, things have to change. One of the things that need changing is

my Guard. And I can't change the Guard unless I change and leave the old Flavia

behind."

Orlika nodded. "Yes, Your Highness. I agree with you. It's just that I can't

help but feel that things are changing for Streslau and changing forever."

Sapt knocked on the door and told Aeryn that the Guard was assembled. He didn't

bat an eye at her leather clothing.

We walked outside where Aeryn stood on the top of a short staircase in front of

the barracks, not more than six steps above the mass of the assembled Guard.

Aeryn looked them over. The muttering in the ranks told me they were looking her

over, too.

Finally, Aeryn spoke. "You are my Regiment of Guards. You have sworn to protect

me with your lives if need be."

That got some more muttering in the ranks. The sergeants worked to silence the

troops, but weren't completely successful. Aeryn continued.

"However, I know that you did not enlist with the thought of becoming real

soldiers. You have not been trained for it, and your equipment is either

non-existent or barely functional."

Well, at least they had stopped muttering in the ranks. Now they seemed to be

trying to judge how fast they could get out of this chicken dren outfit.

Aeryn gestured to her leather outfit and her pistol. "When I visit the Outside,

I acquired some knowledge of what it takes to be a soldier. You are not soldiers."

She stopped to let that sink in.

"Therefore, I release you from your oath of loyalty and from service in this

Regiment. However, I wish to recruit a new regiment and to train them to be

soldiers. Go back to your barracks. Those who wish to leave, please do so with

my good wishes. Those who wish to stay, please return here in one arn."

Aeryn looked over the assembled regiment. There wasn't a sound. "Regiment!

Dismissed."

They stayed in formation for a few microts and then fell out and headed back to

the barracks.

"I frelling hope I did the right thing." Aeryn finally said under her breath.

I leaned over and whispered in Aeryn's ear. "I'll follow you anywhere. That's

the best position to watch the most beautiful butt in the Universe."

I noticed one man was walking towards us, not back to the barracks. He stopped

and saluted Aeryn. He was short and wiry, with thinning blond hair and a

permanent tan. "Sergeant Vorbeck, Your Highness. Reporting for duty. I'm a

little sorry to see the easy days pass, but my years hunting on the south

continent should come in handy to you and any of the lads who stay."

Aeryn held out her hand and Vorbeck shook it. "Glad to have you, Sergeant. I

hope you aren't my entire army."

TBC