The Prisoner of Zendai
By UCSBDad
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Farscape or anything of Anthony Hope's. Rating K. Time: Long, long ago in a Farscape galaxy near you.
In about a quarter of an arn, people started to leave the barracks. Some kept
right on going, but more seemed to stop and wait in front of their Queen. Aeryn
breathed a sigh of relief. "At least I have the makings of a regiment. But how
the frell am I going to train all these people?"
"Baron von Steuben." I said, without really thinking.
"Baron von Steuben?" Echoed Sapt. "Never heard of him? Where's he from? Where
did you meet him?"
Aeryn interrupted. "I have a feeling he's from Captain Crichton's home planet.
He's probably a linebacker or something. Perhaps even a stooge."
Sapt, naturally, had no idea what either of those were. "No, Baron von Steuben
was a soldier for my, er, colony. He was from elsewhere, though. He had the
problem of teaching military skills to a large untrained group. So, he got whatever
more or less trained people he had and trained them first. Then he made them
officers and sent them off to train the others, just as he had trained them. If you
take the people who were police, or whatever, you can train a small group of a
dozen or so. Then have each of them train a squad of ten or twelve people."
Aeryn thought for a microt. "What do we do with the rest while I train our
leaders? Just have them stand around?"
I shook my head. "They can do PT. Er, physical training. Running, marching in
full packs, stuff like that."
Aeryn grinned. "It should work if we get good recruits."
Sapt walked to the edge of the stairs and looked at the assembled recruits. "I'd
say we have about four hundred and that the bad ones have left, Your Highness."
The next part I didn't like. "Aeryn, are you going to be needing me for a while?"
"For how long and why?"
I shrugged. "I don't know how long. Sapt said they had intercepts of what they
thought were Scarren codes being sent off planet. I'd like to try to track down
where they were sent from."
Aeryn looked at Sapt. "The records are in the Royal Library, Captain. We lack
the military technology to either break the codes or determine their point of
origin."
Aeryn nodded. "All right, John. Check out the library.
Sapt pointed it out to me. "It's the building with the green dome at the far end
of the Palace. I'll write the directions for you. The Palace can be a little
confusing until you get used to it. It can be a problem."
Aeryn grinned. "Captain Crichton should be right at home in a confusing
situation."
I headed for the Library, but stopped next to Aeryn. "I'll get you for that
little remark, Honey."
Aeryn gave an exaggerated sigh. "Promises, promises."
Sapt was used to it, but Vorbeck looked like he couldn't believe his eyes.
Sapt was right. The Palace could be a problem. My particular problems were
wearing red clothes and the local equivalent of acne.
"Peacekeeper bastard."
I smiled at Lady Ennira Frohn. Her vocabulary hadn't improved, but this time she
had brought company. She had three young men dressed in bright red uniforms.
They looked like they might be old enough to shave and probably considered
themselves rough, tough hombres.
The biggest stepped forward. "We're going to hurt you, Peacekeeper bastard."
I smiled back and kicked him in the knee. He howled and went down. The two
others stupidly looked at each other. I kicked the biggest one in a place that
would make him useless on dates for a while and turned to the last one. He
sensibly hid behind Lady Ennira.
"You coward. Get him!" She screamed. No use. He was halfway down the hall,
putting as much distance as he could between us.
That left only Lady Ennira. Surprisingly, she just stood there glaring at me.
She was either too stupid to realize I was mad as Hell at Aeryn being threatened
and was looking to take it out on someone. Anyone. Or, she was smart enough to
realize John Crichton had given up being nasty to girls about the time he
noticed they were different. I decided to find out which it was.
"The last time I ran across you, I thought you needed a good spanking. I was
right, but I didn't do anything about it." I waited a microt and added, "Then."
She started backing away. "You wouldn't dare! I am a Lady! No one has ever hit
me!" She turned around to run away and slammed into a wall and fell on her face.
I knelt beside her. "You people are really starting to annoy me. You don't look
like you have much natural padding, young lady."
She blushed furiously. "I'll tell. I'll tell everyone that you attacked the four
of us. If you..." the sentence ended in a squeal as I lifted her up and then
bent her over my knee.
"What do you think, Lenza? Should I do it?"
Lady Lenza walked out of a deep alcove with a suspiciously well groomed Ruprecht
F'Han Hentzau on her arm. "I think not, Captain. She deserves it, certainly. But if
she finds she enjoys it, I'm afraid you'll have an admirer for life." She looked
serious for a microt. "How did you know we were here?"
"Perfume."
Ennira had turned as bright red as her dress and couldn't say a word. I released
her and she stood up, regaining a little of her dignity and courage. "This
Peacekeeper bastard attacked us without cause..."
Lenza slapped her, hard. "Do not lie, girl. Ruprecht and I saw the whole foolish
attack on Captain Crichton. Now go. And if I hear any "anonymous rumors" about
this, I'll start my own rumors and I assure you, I'm better at character assassination
than you'll ever be."
Ennira fled.
Lenza nodded to me. "My apologies, Captain. We're not usually so idiotically
political. If you had arrived at any other time, you would find a civilization
devoted to the important things of life." She gave Hentzau an appraising look.
"Speaking of which..."
They headed for parts unknown. Hentzau turned and smiled at me. "You should have
spanked her. Get them started early is my motto."
I continued down the hallway and in fifty microts decided I had gone the wrong way.
Four hundred microts later I had upped that to completely lost. I found myself in a
huge, high-ceilinged room. The ceiling was some four stories above me, but there
was no way out except the door I had come in through. I walked over to a window to
try to get my bearings. I could just see the green dome of the library to my right.
I moved a step to the side to get a better look and something zipped past my ear a
and hit the window beside me. An oily liquid started to spread on the window pane. I
whirled and drew Wynona. I saw a flash of movement on a balcony two stories
above me. Before I could fire, it was gone. I turned to look at the window. Whatever
had missed me was eating its way through the glass.
I tried to find a way to the balcony, but after going down a narrow hallway for
a dozen steps, I decided I'd be better off heading for the Library. I made it
with nothing worse to show for it than a reputation as a very nasty person with
a poor elderly maid. At least I think she was nothing but a maid.
Sapt was right about the military technology of Streslau. It took me all day
long to narrow the search down to an area of about a third of the main continent
of the planet. At this rate, the Scarrens, if there were any, could breed an
army to conquer the place before I found them.
I looked outside and saw it was dark. I had planned to walk back on the outside
of the Palace to avoid any unpleasant surprises. A walk through the dark was not
my idea of a good time. At least not by myself. I headed out of the Library with
one hand on Wynona, looking in fourteen different directions at once. Then I saw
my salvation. A gaggle of twenty or so maids, headed for the residential wing of
the Palace.
"Hi, ladies. Headed for the Queen's quarters?" I gave them a nice reassuring
smile. If I was going to use them as cover from an assassin, I should be nice to
them.
One tall red head decided she was the leader. "Yes, Captain Crichton. Were you
in the Library?"
"You bet. Looking up a few books on romance."
They giggled. The redhead smiled at me. "I would have thought you would be
adding to the library, Captain. Stessa here cleaned up your quarters after your
first night in the Palace. What did you say about him Stessa?"
A slender brunette turned bright red. "Dova! Don't you dare! The Captain here
could get us in trouble."
Dova laughed. "Yes, I'm sure he could." Her smile suggested that trouble with
Captains was high on her agenda. I decided we'd better move this along. I put
one arm around Dova and the other around Stessa. "Why don't we all head for the
main palace together? Did I ever tell you the story about the time I had to take
a very precious commodity, Coors, it's called, from the planet Texas to some
friends in Atlanta? No? Well, it was like this..."
When we arrived back at Flavia's quarters, Dova was still with me, although the
other maids who had dropped off at their duty stations said she wasn't on duty
at Queen Flavia's. Dova said she didn't care what her Queen thought. I kept
quiet and wondered what the new, improved Queen Flavia would say.
We turned the corner into the barracks just in time to catch Flavia storming out
of Sapt's office, yelling "Well, frelling find him!" back over her shoulder.
Dova stopped at the sight of her Queen in black leather and with a pulse pistol
on her hip.
"Crichton! I might have expected you'd be with some trelk." She stopped in front
of Dova. "Who the frell are you?"
Dova was having trouble taking in the changed Queen and said nothing.
Aeryn turned her around and pushed her. Not a hard push, you understand. "Go!"
She turned to me. "I put off having dinner afraid that you were in trouble Now
dinner is ruined."
My, my. Aeryn Sun worried about a ruined dinner. She walked into her quarters
and I found myself following after her before she locked me out. She was sitting
at a table, eating like she'd like to be chewing my behind off instead. I sat
and began eating.
"Well, did you frelling learn anything, Crichton?" Crichton. She was angry.
I started to tell her about my meeting with the charming Lady Ennira and Lenza
and Hentzau. When I mentioned the attack on me on my way to the Library, she
shot to her feet. "What! Someone shot at you and you just stupidly went about
your business? Crichton are you farbot? How could you..."
"How could I do anything." I asked, reasonably. "Whoever shot at me was long
gone after the first shot. What should I have done? Asked the Laurel and Hardy
Irregulars to cordon the area? They'd probably kill themselves or me. Drag you
in? You're a bigger target than I am. If there's one thing that would bring the
shooter back, it'd be another chance at Queen Flavia."
Aeryn turned and strode over to the window and stared out into the blackness. I
walked over and put my arms around her waist. "Honey, don't stand in the open
window, in case there is a sniper out there. Come back and finish dinner."
Aeryn reached up and closed the curtains with way too much force. "I'm tired.
I'm going to bed." Aeryn got out of her leathers and spent a few microts getting
ready for bed. I followed her into bed and turned out the light. As soon as the
light was out she was in my arms. I could tell she was still angry, but not with
me. It'd take a little bit to work off her anger.
TBC