Chapter 13

Pansy POV

"Tell me, how were the holidays abroad?" Pansy asked as she walked up to stand between Draco and Daphne as they stood at Platform 9 waiting for the Hogwarts Express.

Both Draco and Daphne shrugged.

"How was your holiday?" Daphne asked.

"The usual. Parents were off trying to save the world from peace and harmony, and I stayed in my room and prepared for my O.W.L.s."

Draco wrinkled his nose, "You studied over the holiday? Who uses their holiday to study?"

"Oh, I have a feeling she wasn't the only one who took time to study these past few weeks, though I certainly didn't partake… I'm sure she'll help us catch up though, won't you Pans?" Daphne asked as she nudged Pansy and batted her long eyelashes at her.

"Oh, of course. I'll take time that I don't have out of my busy schedule, take time away from studying with the girl I love, to help the two of you catch up on content you should've spent the last few months mastering yourselves…" Pansy said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

When neither Draco nor Daphne said anything, she looked at them and found two very different expressions. Draco looked shocked, while Daphne looked as if she'd never been happier.

"What…?" Pansy asked reluctantly.

Without warning, Daphne wrapped her up in a hug so tight she nearly knocked them both to the ground. "You love her!" Daphne whispered excitedly into Pansy's ear. Draco was still standing there with a look of shock on his pale, pointed face.

Pansy felt her face get hot and couldn't help but smile, "Yes… I suppose you were right, Daph, I do love her…"

"What does that mean, then? What are you going to do?" Draco asked, a small smile forming on his face now.

Pansy shrugged, "I think, for now, I don't want to do anything that may ruin our friendship. So, I'm going to try and wait until I know for sure that she fancies me."

Draco raised his eyebrows, "You think she fancies you?"

Pansy nodded, "I mean, she's looked at my lips more than once at this point, and unless she's wondering what shade of lipstick I wear, which I highly doubt, seeing as she doesn't wear lipstick, then I'd have to imagine it's because she may in fact want to kiss me… I know that may seem like a foreign desire to you, dear Draco, but – "

"Hey now! I'm not the one in this fake relationship that has an issue kissing the other person… When you're not being so forceful with it, you're not so bad…" Draco offered.

"I think she's quite good, actually. Not my cup of tea, snogging girls, but Pansy was far better than most of the boys I've kissed," Daphne added with an affectionate smile as she linked her arm with Pansy's. "Great lips."

"Huh… It's just now occurred to me that through Pansy, Daphne and I have kissed…" Draco said, shooting Daphne a sly look.

Daphne glared at him, "Again, I will never understand what my sister sees in you…"

"Kiss me for real and maybe you'll have a better understanding…"

"Excuse me? That's disgusting!"

"Alright, can the two of you wrap up this idiotic conversation and return to what's really important here… Me," Pansy interjected as Daphne shot daggers at Draco whose annoying smirk had only grown.

"Right, sorry…" Daphne muttered, glare still on Draco. "So, how will you know for sure that she fancies you?"

"I guess the first concrete step would be if she breaks up with Weasley. Without that, I figure it doesn't much matter if she fancies me or not. I don't exactly see her as the cheating type, feelings or not…"

"Well, if that's the case, you might need to prepare yourself to keep waiting…" Draco said, nodding over Pansy's shoulder.

Pansy and Daphne both turned and spotted Hermione walk through the barrier right after Weasley, with Little Weasley on her heels. She spoke animatedly with both of them, and laughed at something Weasley said. Pansy could see the stupid grin on the boy's freckled face as he continued to make Hermione laugh, and her insides began to bubble up in that same familiar feeling of jealous anger as she turned her back to them. She'd forgotten this feeling somehow over holiday, and it was certainly significantly harder imagining having the ability to ignore her feelings and just be friends with Hermione when she had pangs of jealousy flashing uncomfortably throughout her body after witnessing a mere few seconds of her interacting with Weasley.

"Just be patient, Pans… If she's looking at your lips, there has to be something there… Don't give up, okay…?" Daphne said softly as she kissed Pansy on the cheek, pulling her close.

Pansy leaned into Daphne, appreciating the comfort from her friend, "I know… Thanks."

The platform began to shake slightly as the scarlet Hogwarts Express pulled into view. Forcing herself to not look back at anyone in particular, Pansy loaded her trunk onto the train, gave Daphne one last appreciative hug, and followed Draco to the front to the Prefects' carriage.

Hermione POV

Though she was laughing at something that Ron had just said, she kept her eyes on the beautiful dark-haired Slytherin that had now turned her back to her. It shocked Hermione, just how badly she wanted to talk to Pansy, but she could be patient. Surely, they'd have patrol together on the journey back to Hogwarts, and she could catch up with her then.

Hermione frowned as she watched Daphne Greengrass pull Pansy into her and kiss her on the cheek. When Pansy leaned into the contact, Hermione's body surged with such strong emotion, she earned herself a nudge from Ginny.

"Ow! What?" Hermione hissed.

"Unless you'd like Ron to know exactly who it is that you fancy, you may want to divert your attention elsewhere…" Ginny muttered.

Hermione blushed and returned her gaze to the group, realizing that luckily, Ron had been completely distracted by the arrival of Harry.

"How were everyone's holidays? Sorry I couldn't make it out to the Burrow this year, but – "

"Hermione broke up with me," Ron blurted out.

"Wha – What? When?" Harry stammered.

"Last night. No hard feelings though, as you see, I'm just not her type…" Ron added, a small mischievous smile forming on his lips.

Hermione rolled her eyes, knowing she'd be better off just telling Harry now, instead of letting Ron hold it over his head and tease him for not knowing something about their best friend.

"What Ronald means is that over the past few weeks I've realized I love him as a friend, nothing more, and – "

"And she fancies a girl!" Ron declared in an excited and somewhat proud whisper. At least he had the decency to keep his voice down and not alert the entirety of the student population to her newfound appreciation of girls.

Harry's eyes widened as he stared at Hermione, "Really?"

Hermione nodded, feeling her cheeks warm up a bit as a blush rushed through them.

"Oh, and so does Ginny, I was totally right about that! Confirmed that with her this morning. Don't worry though, these two aren't together, nor will they ever be," Ron added confidently, moving to stand between the two glowering girls and putting his arms around them.

"Piss off, Ron!" Ginny growled, shoving Ron a bit as she escaped his embrace.

"Yeah, mate, I'm not sure you should be sharing all of this with me… I feel like if Hermione and Ginny had wanted to tell me this stuff, it'd be up to them to tell me…" Harry said awkwardly as he attempted to nervously flatten his unruly hair. Hedwig ruffled her feathers in her cage atop Harry's trunk, seemingly agreeing with his sentiment.

Ron went white, "Ah… I'm being a prat, aren't I?"

"A bit, yeah…" Harry agreed, "Sorry you two…" Harry apologized to Hermione and Ginny.

Ginny waved him off, "It's fine… I've actually been wanting to tell you and Ron for a while. I was just far too busy enjoying my time with Luna…"

Ron frowned, "What does that mean…"

As Harry grinned, "Ahh, so Luna's the lucky girl, is she? That's fantastic, Ginny."

Ginny smiled at Harry, ignoring Ron completely, "Thanks."

"And what about you? Who's the lucky girl you've got your eye on?" Harry asked, turning to Hermione with a kind smile.

"Good luck getting that out of her, mate, I tried all bloody morning to get her to talk!" Ron complained.

"Yeah, because I'm sure the first person she'd want to tell about the girl she fancies is her very recent ex-boyfriend…" Harry said sarcastically.

They all laughed at that, and the horn of the Hogwarts Express signaling that it'd be departing in one minute saved Hermione from having to answer Harry. The four of them hurried towards the train, Harry and Ron helping Ginny and Hermione with their trunks, before they split up, Hermione and Ron heading up front towards the Prefects' carriage, while Harry and Ginny went to go find Luna.

Once they entered the Prefects' carriage, Hermione's eyes instinctively found Pansy. She was standing beside Malfoy, holding his hand. Even though Hermione knew the relationship wasn't real, she still wasn't too fond of seeing Pansy that close to someone else. She and Ron mingled with the other fifth year Prefects until they were given their assignments for the journey by the Head Boy and Girl, then she walked with Padma and Hannah to the girls' compartment to change.

Hermione fought it for a long time, but she ultimately couldn't help but glance Pansy's way while they were changing, and she was stunned to meet Pansy's light green eyes when she did. She expected, or maybe hoped, for one of those perfectly angled eyebrows to lift, pulling Pansy's lips into a smirk, the expression Pansy often gave her when she caught Hermione looking at her or when she'd used her quick wit to fluster her. Though it irritated her at first, she'd grown to find it incredibly charming after a while. Instead, Pansy looked away, and Hermione frowned slightly. Was this because of the way she'd abandoned Pansy in the Room of Requirement just before they left for Christmas holiday? Was it possible that she was upset with her? As she was lost in her worries about Pansy, she still couldn't keep her eyes off the girl, watching as her perfectly manicured fingers buttoned up her uniform top and effortlessly tied her tie. Hermione could feel heat once again rushing to her cheeks as she watched Pansy's fingers work so easily and nimbly, and –

"Hermione?"

Hermione quickly looked around to Hannah and Padma's confused faces, "Yes?"

"I asked how your holiday went. I assume you spent a fair amount of time working on getting ready for your O.W.L.s?" Padma asked as she pulled her cardigan on.

"Oh… Yes, I did get quite a bit of studying done."

The girls continued discussing the upcoming exams, and when Hermione finally got a chance to look Pansy's way again, she found that she'd already left the compartment. Hermione quickly pulled her sweater up over her head, smoothed her hair, made sure her Prefect badge was pinned just right, and exited the girls' compartment. She found Pansy again with Malfoy, their hands clasped together. She took a deep breath and approached them, as confidently as she could.

"Ready for our first patrol back, Parkinson?"

Pansy nodded, albeit a little reluctantly, as Malfoy stared at Hermione with a curious expression on his face.

"Yes?" Hermione asked him.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder, "Malfoy, Parkinson," Ron said flatly.

Hermione watched both Pansy and Malfoy's eyes shift to Ron's hand before settling on his face.

"You heard the Head Boy and Girl. We're still stuck together for patrols, McGonagall's orders. Go on girls, I'm sure you'll have about as much to talk about as me and Malfoy here," Ron muttered stiffly. As he took his hand off of Hermione's shoulder, Malfoy released Pansy's hand, and the two girls exited the compartment into the loud interior of the Hogwarts Express.

They walked together silently, observing their own sides of each train car they passed through. Every once in a while, Hermione's hand would brush up against Pansy's, and it'd send a small pulse of electricity up her arm. She knew it wasn't actually happening, but it sure felt like it was. She hated the silence between them, even though it wasn't out of the ordinary for them while on patrol, especially during one that was so public, but even the logic of the silence didn't help make her hate it any less.

Once they got to the end of the train, which contained a few compartments reserved for Prefects if they chose not to mingle with the other students after their patrol was over, Hermione had had enough. Without really thinking, she pulled Pansy into one of the compartments and quickly pulled the blinds, hiding them away from the rest of the world.

Pansy POV

Pansy was genuinely so unsure and confused as they walked down the center of the Hogwarts Express. It certainly seemed like Hermione was still with Weasley… The laughter at King's Cross, his hand on her shoulder… And yet, her glancing over at Pansy while she was changing told her something completely different… Once they were done with their patrol, she'd find Daphne and they could talk this all out, and surely, she'd feel better after that. Her mind would be reset, and she could be patient, she could wait for Hermione. If there was truly something between them, it'd have to come out eventually, right? Hermione couldn't possibly deny it forever… Could she? And if there wasn't anything there, if she'd been imagining it all… Being friends with the girl was better than nothing, she needed to remember that. She wanted Hermione in her life, whatever that looked like. And if that included a certain moronic redhead, then so be it…

As they finished their journey to the end of the train, which for some reason had to include them accidentally brushing hands an almost torturous number of times, Pansy went to turn around and head to the compartments occupied by the Slytherins. As she took a step forward, she found herself moving backwards, being pulled into one of the compartments reserved for Prefects after their patrol.

Suddenly, Pansy found herself face to face with Hermione. The compartment was quiet, they'd been isolated from the noise and chaos of the excited students on their way back to Hogwarts. She was staring into dark brown eyes that were very clearly trying to read her light green eyes.

Pansy hadn't realized until now just how much she'd truly missed Hermione. Though she'd fancied her for years, she'd never spent any real time with her, and leading up to Christmas holiday, they'd been together for hours nearly every single day. She had missed her during the holiday, she'd felt that whenever she'd think of her, but now, being so close to her that she could see the faded freckles across the bridge of her nose, it was alarming how complete she suddenly felt. She had finally reunited with her safe space, finally reunited with Hermione, just the two of them.

"Are we okay?"

Pansy's eyebrows raised at the question, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't we be?"

"You just… You seem a bit off. I mean, we didn't speak a single word to each other during patrol, and you looked away when we were in the girls' compartment, and when I approached you and Malfoy, you were – "

Pansy put a hand up to try and indicate that everything was fine, "Hermione, we're okay. I guess I was just taken aback by the sudden publicity of everything. Outside of the Room of Requirement, we're not friends…"

The flash in Hermione's eyes indicated immediately to Pansy that she'd said the wrong thing.

"I mean, of course we're friends, but just – We're not public about it. It's only between us, this friendship. And I mean, I guess Little Weasley and Looney Lovegood too, but – "

"Don't call them that…"

Hermione's face had changed. It had hardened, significantly. Pansy hadn't seen this Hermione in a long time.

Pansy ran a hand through her dark hair as she took a breath, "Hold on… I think we're just having a bit of a misunderstanding here… Hermione, you and I are of course friends, but I thought there was an understanding between us that it was behind closed doors…"

Hermione's face softened slightly, "Oh… I guess you're right…"

Pansy nodded quickly, thankful for the positive change in Hermione, "I was just confused… But if you want to talk about being more public with our friendship, we can – "

Hermione shook her head, "No, it's fine," she sighed, "I'm sorry… I just heard you say we weren't friends and I… I panicked…"

Pansy had to fight this. Hermione panicked at the thought of not being friends with her? That felt like something, but it wasn't as if she was panicking at the thought of no longer dating her or snogging her… She took another deep breath as she forced herself to keep it all in perspective.

Pansy shot the girl an easy smile, "We're still friends, Hermione… Honestly, I think we're even closer now after your surge of emotion in the Room of Requirement a few weeks ago…"

A small smile formed on Hermione's lips, and while it was relieving to see, Pansy consciously forced her eyes off of her perfect smile, her perfect lips.

"So, speaking of the Room of Requirement… Studying… Are we still on for that? Because I don't want to do anything that's going to somehow add more stress or pressure to you in terms of classes and exams. After what happened before holiday, if you wanted to take a break, I'd – "

"No!"

Pansy was startled by the firmness in Hermione's objection, and Hermione clearly noticed as her cheeks went red.

"Sorry, I just – I feel like I need to keep studying with you. I don't want to stop. I like studying with you, Pansy."

This was too much for Pansy. It probably wasn't, but it felt like another sign, and it was too much. Hermione is with Ron, she just saw two examples of proof of that, so she needed to stop. She needed to get out of this compartment and sort her thoughts and feelings out with Daphne. Maybe the two of them could come up with some sort of plan to navigate this, because right now, being alone with Hermione and being a mere lean away from her lips wasn't doing anything for Pansy and her so-called ability to just be friends with the girl who so clearly had a boyfriend.

"Alright, well, that sounds good, then. We'll keep studying, if you think it's okay," Pansy mumbled awkwardly as she moved towards the compartment door.

"Pansy?"

"Sorry, I promised I'd catch up with Daphne after our patrol. I'll see you later, okay?" Pansy muttered, not allowing herself to look at Hermione.

As she reached up to slide the compartment door aside, a hand softly caught her arm. She turned, first staring down at the hand, then slowly pulling her eyes up to meet Hermione's. This was so reminiscent of when Hermione had stopped her from running away on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, just after she'd accidentally admitted to her that she fancied girls, and yet, it was also vastly different. Hermione's eyes had been sympathetic then, even worried, perhaps, but now, they were trying to read Pansy, trying to get into her head.

Pansy felt her eyebrow raise up just slightly, and Hermione's eyes widened even slighter. Then, for the third time, Hermione's eyes dipped down to Pansy's lips. There was no mistaking it. She wasn't seeing things. Hermione Granger's eyes were on her lips. When her eyes came back up to Pansy's, there was something new reflected there. Want. Need. Desire. Pansy was frozen, terrified to do what everything in her body was screaming at her to do, what Hermione's eyes seemed to be begging her to do.

"Pansy… I've got to tell you something…" Hermione's voice cut through the silence, quiet, yet determined, strong.

As the door to their compartment swiftly rolled open, Hermione released her arm, and they jumped apart.