The Princess Pride
POV. person
Chris begins to narrate, "Last time on Total Drama Action. Just when the cast thought they were safe, I swung in to surprise - I mean... antagonize them. Cast were forced to show their creative sides while showing off their backsides as they made superhero costumes out of spandex… and some other junk, hahahaha nice tights. Of course, they were foiled by the diabolical Pythonicus, super evil alter ego of the villainous Chef. In a fight against evil, the cast proved they could be heroes. And also, losers~. Duncan and Gwen thought they had everything to survive another day, when in the end it was the opposite. This is how once again karma came for Duncan to pay off his debts, thus being expelled from the competition and denying us what could have been", Duncan and Gwen give each other a goodbye hug, "Can the goth survive on her own or will Heather end up eliminating her again? Who knows? All this and more in TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!".
-0-
POV. Gwen
Sigh, in the end Duncan was expelled, maybe trusting his intuition was not the best idea, in the end everyone wanted him out of the competition, just the opposite of what he believed, when will that fool learn that his actions have consequences?
"Owwww, sad 'cause is your boyfriend no longer here to keep you company?" sneered Heather next to me at the table in the service store. It was breakfast time.
"Trent and I broke up at the beginning of the season," I told her evading her mockery.
"You know very well that I'm not talking about Trent," she said with sadistic humor, I hate her so much.
"Well, don't know who you're talking about since I didn't have another boyfriend after him," I said back.
"Pff, how long are you going to deny that you like him? Do you think that's going to save you from Courtney?", I shuddered a little, I didn't want to be on that girl's bad side.
"I'll deny it as long as you deny that you're upset that Lindsay stole Cody from you," it's my turn to attack her.
"She didn't steal him from me, he's not even mine, it's Izzy's!" she reneged, "any shady place where Lindsay wants to stick her nose or butt is her problem," she said looking away indignantly.
"And time!" said Cody in front of us.
The others were having a weird competition about who could make the biggest burrito, it seems like they were ignoring us all this time.
"Alright, let's see what you've done," said the geek acting as judge, "Beth?"
She picked up a burrito that I'm pretty sure looked like a torso, "I did Justin's masculine abs," the farmer said proudly, now I feel like throwing up.
"Eh... I guess it's fine as long as it's big," Cody said, "Lindsay?"
The blonde raised a leaning tower of burrito, "I made the Eiffel tower," she said proudly, oh dear.
"Uh, Linds, the Eiffel Tower doesn't lean," Cody told her gently.
She blinked a couple of times, "So what tower is this?" asked the blonde looking at her burrito.
"I'd say it's the leaning tower of Pisa that's in Italy," Harold said next to him, "although in this case it would be the leaning tower of Burrito," he joked.
"Thank you for the information that no one asked, Harold," Heather said sarcastically as she put on lipstick, I hit her with my elbow causing her makeup to be ruined.
"Oh... is there a tower made of Pizza? That sounds spectacular," both nerds exchanged a look, not wanting to break Lindsay's illusion.
"Yeah, I'll make sure we see it someday," Cody told her, I don't want to be in her shoes when she ends up disappointed, "Harold?"
"I give you the Luscious Leshawna," he said, holding up a sculpture of LeShawna.
... It has to be a joke. Cody narrowed his eyes in crypticism.
"Ha, do you call that exquisite?" said Justin, "check out the guns on these beans", his burrito looked like a flexed bicep, honestly it was the weakest of all.
*Total silence*
Justin looked around, I guess he expected us to say something, "Oh come on girls! You feel nothing?" he asked.
"I like it! It matches the abs I did!" Beth was quick to say.
"Eh... thanks Beth... Any others? Heather? Lindsay?", wow, the model is desperate for attention. This is what the show has reduced him to, luckily I would never let myself be manipulated to be the source of perpetual drama for Chris and his absurd reality show, that's for fools and deluded people, like everyone else here, yes, even Cody can fall into that category, just give the geek a pair of breasts and he completely disconnects, like Lindsay's, which he's looking at right now, seriously. How did he manage to hook up with two girls? Sometimes I think Cody is weird, but to be fair who's 100% normal here?
"Well, as weird as it looks, Harold's is the biggest burrito, so he wins," Cody said.
"This isn't right, I demand a second neutral opinion," Justin said, "Gwen?", fuck, don't involve me in your oddities.
Confessional.
Justin
"Now that Duncan is gone, Gwen needs someone new to confide in, I'll give you a hint, it's not Heather," the model said.
Gwen
"There's absolutely no one left to rely on," he said with his arms folded, "Cody collaborates with Heather and Lindsay, Beth chases Justin like a puppy, and Justin himself only has eyes for his reflection in a spoon. In the end the only one who is apparently impartial is Harold and he is very weird, I guess I could try to seek his help, if he is not collaborating with someone already. But the way I see things, my best option is to gain immunity."
End of confessional.
...
POV. Cody
"Eh... I really don't want to get involved in this," Gwen said.
"Oh sure, I completely respect your opinion," the model said, then winked at her, Gwen didn't understand it in the slightest, however, it seems that Heather did understand right away... That or she jumped straight to the most hasty and paranoid conclusion... and by chance she was right.
However, Justin is quite evident in his attempt to recruit Gwen, now that Duncan is gone, the model will think that she is desperate for an ally. Let's see if he is right or not.
Chef entered the service shop dressed as a medieval announcer and a trumpet sounded, "Hear ye and rise for Sir Chris!", ha, what the hell?
"Sir," Harold asked skeptically, "someone needs an ego check."
Chris rode in riding the old horse (which I now know is called Bethsy) with a knight's helmet and a glass boot in his hand.
"OH~, that's a glass slipper," Beth said noticing the situation, "which means today's challenge is a fairy tale movie! My favorite!" she said excitedly.
"Beth, dude. If you ever steal my intro again, I'll have to personally boot you off the show," Chris told her, annoyed that she stole his spotlight.
"You can't boot Beth," Lindsay said, "... Oh wait, he can. 'Cause it's a glass boot," she's still so cute when she's silly.
"And the foot that fits determines the princess for today's... fairy tale movie challenge," Chris said, "the rest of you compete for the honor of rescuing the fair princess."
"I wanna be the princess!" said Beth excitedly. Heather rolled her eyes at Beth's excitement.
"Uh, wanting to be the princess would be very immature?" Lindsay whispered to me.
I smiled at her, "you don't have to be ashamed if others see you as immature, sometimes I've thought about wanting to be a knight," I told her back, even if it was in video games instead of fairy tales, but that would be talking too much. She seemed calmer with my answer.
"I said the fair princess. And what we think is fair are the candidates we selected for today," Chris said.
"Candidates?" said Gwen in a panic.
Confessional.
Gwen
"Bluagh, I swore that the last thing I would ever do in my life would be put on a dress and pretend to be a princess like... she would," the goth shuddered, "if she sees me playing a princess on television she will never let me live with that... the universe can't be so cruel... Can it?"
Heather
"Chris should stop thinking about it so much and name me princess, I mean I'm the only one who really has a real royal air, the others, pff, the swamp called, want their ogres back," she said mockingly.
Beth
"They're totally typecasting me as the ugly stepsister!" she said annoyed, "but now that my braces are off, I'm absolutely princess material."
Lindsay
"It would be great to be a princess, I once dreamed that I was in a tower waiting for my prince charming... then it became a shoe commercial for some reason," she said strangely, then smiled excitedly, "it would be so cute if Cody was the knight who came to rescue me," she said with a blush.
End of confessional.
Lindsay would be the first to try on the boot and she already looked quite insecure.
"Are you sure that's the right one? It's tiny, like a kid's boot," Linds said.
"Oh, oh, I wear kid's size four," Beth said.
"Yeah, wide," Heather scoffed.
"What can I say? Princesses are supposed to have dainty feet," Chris said, that would be because they rarely wore them, it would be strange to see a princess walking all over the place instead of letting her subjects carry them.
"Oh... Can I do this privately?" Lindsay asked, ready to take off her boot.
"What's wrong with her?" asked Gwen.
"Well...", I said not quite sure how to describe it.
"It's just a foot. I think we've all seen those before," Justin said fed up.
"Don't hold up the line," Heather said.
Lindsay had no choice but to take off her boot with effort.
*Get out*
Many opened their eyes at the sight, "woah," Gwen said stunned.
Now we have to clarify something here, Lindsay's feet are not really giant, what happens is that by wearing very tight boots, literally all the time, the blood that reaches those feet is reduced. This doesn't mean they'll rot and fall off, but when she takes off her boots, they'll definitely be swollen. Of course, Lindsay hadn't realized this, so she thought her feet are naturally big. My poor girlfriend still has a lot to learn.
Now Lindsay looked embarrassed that everyone was seeing her feet. But to my surprise no one laughed at her, not even Heather. Last time they did it because Duncan made a joke about it, but he's not here now, and those who remain wouldn't make fun of Lindsay just because. Unfortunately there is something that does not change...
"I feel like I'm trying to ram a T-Rex into a smart car and make him buckle up!" said Chris as he forced the boot on Lindsay's foot embarrassing her even more, "welp, if getting it on your big toe counted, you'd have won."
"Oww," she said disappointedly, I rubbed her back to comfort her, at least she wasn't crying.
"Next candidate, Heather," Chris said.
"Of course it'll fit in, I mean just look at my delicate feet," she said bragging, I don't know why, but I have a strange feeling that won't be the case.
"Hmm," Chris was forcing the boot, but Heather's foot wasn't going all the way in either.
"Come on, put more effort into it, it's impossible for it not to go in," Heather said annoyed.
"Maybe you should butter it to fit up those crusty calluses," Beth scoffed.
"Maybe I will!" Heather lashed out.
"No, it definitely doesn't fit," Chris said to Heather's dismay.
"Well, too bad, it looks like we don't have a princess, so there's no choice but to change the challenge," Gwen hurriedly said in a panic.
Chris was smiling with delight, "Nice try, now bring your foot right here Miss Goth."
Gwen twitched with a grimace, "don't fit, don't fit, don't fit, don't fit, don't fit, don't fit, don't fit," she repeated as she sat down at the table and took off her boot.
*Slide*
"Oh~ wow~ look at that~," Chris said with sadistic glee, "the glass slipper fits perfectly~."
Confessional.
Gwen
"Shit!"
End of confessional.
I know we've said this a lot in jest lately, but this was definitely fixed, I mean, it was a perfect opportunity to humiliate the only girl in the group who wouldn't want to be a princess, Chris would never let it go, especially if that girl was Gwen.
"Chef!", yelled Chris.
Chef appeared dressed as a fairy godmother, " I dub thee Princess Gwen," he said waving his wand which released a lot of fairy dust causing us all to start coughing.
-0-
After the princess was chosen against her will, we were taken to the set where the princess movie challenge would take place.
And as it happened last time Chris was the narrator, "it's story time with Uncle Chris," said the presenter as he was pushed into a studio-style mini-set with a storytelling fireplace and an armchair, "Once upon a time, six brave knights went on a quest to rescue a princess from her ivory tower. But it wasn't gonna be easy. First, the knights had to get past... my very good friend, the terrible toothless troll", who was a chef in a costume, "and his Badbreaks Bridge" we all swallowed when we saw the incredibly large and tall construction, "to get past the terrible toothless troll, the knights had to wear disguises. There was the frog prince and the ugly stepsister", he threw Justin the toad helmet and Beth the curly, tall wig, "Sleeping Beauty and one of her seven dwarfs," he said, throwing a mask at Lindsay and a blue-painted traffic cone at Harold, I'm sure Sleeping Beauty had no dwarfs, "and Little Red Riding Hood and the Black Knight," he said as he threw me the red hood and threw Heather an all-black visored helmet, "and so the ugly stepsister approached the terrible troll," Chris said.
"But I can't see," Beth said with the wig covering her view.
"Oh yeah, for this challenge, each knight is blind," the host said. The complaints were soon heard, "nowhere in this story does it say, 'the cowardly knights complain'. So, get it together, Steppy, and get crossing," said Chris, I know there's no way to change his mind, but I can't let things stay that way.
"Wait Chris, at least you could put the mattresses from the previous challenge at the bottom of the bridge, that's a long free fall, someone could end up injured," I told him.
"That's supposed to be the fun part," he complained, the truth is that in this episode he went a little far ignoring everyone's safety, Beth and Lindsay had bruises and serious injuries, not to mention that Justin ended up in a cast.
"He's right, if you don't put something soft at the end of that bridge, I'm not going to do the challenge," Heather said with her arms crossed.
Chris didn't seem impressed, time to use one of the "Sierra cards" for emergency blackmail, "if you don't provide us with a better landing...", I said pausing to generate suspense, "I'll tell everyone here the name of the boyband you were in", I threatened him, for once one of Sierra's random nonsense is going to do us some good.
The host's eyes widened in panic, "AH! How the hell do you know that!?" he said in total alarm.
"Woah, woah, woah, wait, Chris was in a boyband?" said Justin on the verge of laughter.
"Wow," was all Lindsay said.
"I don't believe it," Gwen said with wide eyes.
"Oh~, I'd love to hear about it," Heather said smiling sadistically, I know that three guys here also belonged (or will belong) to a band, but at least we were good, Chris on the other hand... meh.
Chris quickly pulled a walkie-talkie out of his pocket, "To all the staff! Get me some mattresses! QUICK!" he said urgently, "alright, are you happy? No one has to say anything about a boy band, ever! Now go wait at the top of the bridge," he said irritated.
As we were walking Lindsay stuck to my back, "Are you going to tell me what the band was called?"
"Yeah, later, for now shhhhh," I told her, she laughed discreetly at this and kissed me on the cheek before walking away.
-0-
After that wake-up call to the presenter the interns left a bunch of mattresses under the bridge, now it was finally time to start the challenge.
"Well, as I had said before I was unjustifiably bothered... ugly stepsister, you go first," Chris said from his armchair.
Beth put on her wig and began to walk guided by the rope of the bridge.
"You can do it Beth," Lindsay said in support of her.
Confessional.
Lindsay
"I know Beth has been a little aloof lately, but I get it, she's trying to win Justin over right now, if I could confess to the guy I like, then I hope she can do the same."
End of confessional.
"Could this be any suckier?" said the farmer, you had to ask, right?
Chef had a basket of fake prop apples, which he threw at Beth and punched her in the blind face.
"Ow! Ow, apparently it could be! Ow! Ow! Ooh!" said the ugly stepsister as she was bombarded with apples.
"Oh, also, those are wicked witch's apples, so they're poisonous and rotten. You might wanna watch-," Chris said.
Beth slipped on the apple pieces, "AHHHHHHH!"
*BOOM*
"Ouch!"
*BOOM*
"Ouch!"
*POOF*
Thankfully, despite colliding with various parts of the set, she still had a relatively soft landing.
"See, Beth is just not fairy tale heroine material," Chris said as he ate a milk-dipped chocolate chip cookie, which he envies, "next, the eighth dwarf, he grabbed a fistful of courage and headed across the bridge," Harold prepared to try to cross then Chef was waiting for him on the other side with a BDSM whip.
The nerd put the cone on his head, and it slid to cover his eyes, then ran off, "This is for you LeShawna!"
Chef came running to intercept him on the way, but the incredibly light nerd ran over him in his mad dash leaving him and us confused.
"How the hell did he do that!?" said Heather wide-eyed, I really have no idea.
Confessional.
Harold.
"Yours truly as developed some mad blind running skills."
End of confessional.
Next, it was Lindsay's turn, she looked very nervous about crossing the bridge, it's good that I had them put those mattresses on.
She turned to look at me, "Hey... One for good luck?" she asked.
I smiled, she's so cute, I walked over and gave her a quick kiss, "good luck."
She put on her mask blushing and started to cross the bridge, I felt a chill down my spine, so I turned around, Justin and Heather had their helmets on, the model was whistling innocently while Heather was there just sitting crossed.
I looked forward again, "very discreet guys... really," I said to the two behind me, I could hear them stiffen and I smiled.
Confessional.
Justin
"He doesn't have to go around bragging that he snatched her from me, I'm going to bring that nerd down," said the model.
Heather
"I want to clarify that that wasn't jealousy, I was just making sure that he and Lindsay weren't colluding right under my nose, that's all," she said with a bitter attitude.
End of confessional.
Lindsay was walking straight across the bridge with her arms outstretched forward. For someone who is walking blindly, she does have an incredible sense of direction.
Unfortunately I know what will happen in this particular part. Chef stood in front of her with a goose in his hands, which shot golden eggs.
"Quack", Chef squeezed the goose which threw a golden egg at Lindsay, but she avoided it.
"What was that?" she asked, she took a step forward and suddenly the bridge planks began to fall in front of her, Chef fell off the bridge because of this, but activated a parachute, Lindsay for her part was one step away from the void.
"Lind-!"
"Lindsay don't move!", I was going to warn my girlfriend not to take another step, but to my total surprise and disbelief, Heather beat me to it.
Confessional.
Heather
"Don't get any ideas, I just helped her to return the favor for the sewing machine and because I still need her vote, that's all," she said crossing her arms and being a total tsundere with red cheeks.
End of confessional.
Lindsay stopped before falling, "Why? What is in front of me?" she asked curiously. Unfortunately, Heather's warning was in vain.
*Crack*
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!", because the board where she was standing also collapsed.
*POOF*
"This mattress is still disgusting!" she said from the back, thank goodness she's fine.
...
After Lindsay's fall the bridge was quickly repaired, "you're up, Froggy. Then it's Hoodie Boy and finally the Black Knight," Chris said mocking our roles.
"I demand to change helmets with Heather," I said.
"Negative, now go," said the host, well I tried.
"At least my face will be protected from further indignity," Justin said as he put on his helmet and walked...
*Blow*
Directly towards one of the bridge posts.
"Go a little more to the right," Heather told him, rolling her eyes.
"Thank you."
*Blow*
"AH!" hit the other pole, Heather hit her forehead.
Chef came running with an axe in his hand, "It's this way!" said Heather in panic as she pushed the model over the bridge directly towards the chef.
*CLANK*
Chef stuck the axe right into Justin's helmet.
Confessional.
Justin
"It's at times like this where I'm glad I started using my head."
End of confessional.
"AHHHH!" Justin ran using his own head as a battering ram to knock the troll down and get to the other side of the bridge.
"Justin still has it, Little Red Riding Hood... don't leave grandma waiting hahahahahahahaha," Chris sneered.
I had the blindfold over my eyes, "yeah, yeah, that's hilarious," I said with rolling my eyes, I looked at Heather who had her visor up and only her eyes were visible, "One for good luck?" I joked.
She rolled her eyes and kindly flipped me off, I shrugged, stood in front of the bridge and pulled the blindfold over my eyes.
"... Good luck," I heard behind me, I smiled.
"Rapunzel dude! Let down your hair!", I heard Chris say to Chef, I moved across the bridge guided by the rope, unlike Duncan I couldn't see, I didn't really care if I lost my chance with the dragon.
"Squawk (Need help?)".
"Kevin?" I felt claws rise above my hood and pull me forward, "What the hell?"
"Squawk", I felt myself being pulled to the right so I leaned over I felt and heard something snap near my face, "squawk", he pulled me back so I moved my head back, "squawk", Kevin sat on my head and I crouched on the bridge.
When I got up again I felt something hanging on the rope of the bridge, it felt like hair, I took it and gave it a strong whip.
"AHH! Damnnnnnnn!", I heard the chef's voice fade, Did he fall?
"Squawk," Kevin pulled forward and I ran along the bridge, at the end I felt the pole and took off the blindfold, the seagull flew off my head. I had crossed the bridge, Chef was on top of the mattresses below entangled in Rapunzel's curls.
"What the hell happened?" I said surprised, what just happened? Seriously, a seagull just saved me... I think I'm losing my mind.
"And in a surprising and strange way as is customary, Little Red Riding Hood crosses the bridge... just like the black knight," Chris said, wait, the black knight?
I felt hands touch my back, Heather was standing behind me, she took off her visor to look around, "Yes! I did it!" she said happily, did she follow me across the bridge?
"Hey, that's cheating!" complained Justin.
"Really? She crossed after Little Red Riding Hood, just like she was supposed to," Chris said humorously.
"But Chef wasn't on the bridge!" the model continued indignantly, chef was still tangled in his hair.
"Well, that was her luck, all she had to do was cross the bridge after Little Red Riding Hood and that's what she did, yes, she left a little earlier, but I never told you that you had to wait for Chef hahahahahaha," Chris mocked.
Justin sulked his arms over while Heather stuck her tongue out at him for her cunning play.
Confessional.
Heather
"Who says the geek is the only one who can have good ideas?"
End of confessional.
-0-
"And so the terrible toothless troll knocked off two losers," Chris said referring to Beth and Lindsay sitting at his feet, without much damage this time, "but four semi-brave knights made it to the other side and continued on their noble quest," he said referring to the four of us, "whereupon I, in my wisdom, inspired them with a vision of Princess Gwen."
The music began to play and Gwen dressed in a dark version of Courtney's dress and an absolutely bitter countenance was slowly lowered by a couple of wires in front of a pink fairytale background.
"Do I really have to do this?" she said with a dead look.
"It... can't... be," Heather said on the verge of laughter.
"Do it or you can get the hell out of here," Chris told her, the goth sighing resignedly.
Confessional.
Gwen
"No one at home will ever respect me again."
End of confessional.
...
"When I was a little girl~,
I'd dream of my first kiss~,
It would come from my perfect prince~".
...
"And that's not how I imagined it to be," Gwen said as she scared away the plagues that had come to see her sing, I'm sorry for her, but to see her sing the same song as Courtney with such a dead attitude, honestly it was too funny, I was shaking while holding back the urge to laugh, I'm sorry for her but this was too ridiculous not to laugh.
"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I like Princess Gwen better than the classic Gwen," Heather sneered sadistically, the goth flipped her off.
"How can someone look more miserable as a princess than as a goth in general?" asked Harold in amazement.
"I have no idea, but I can't stop looking, and I don't know if it's because it's so morbid or very fascinating," said the conflicted model.
...
My prince will be tall and handsome~,
My prince will be tough as nails~.
My prince will have lots of money,
My prince will tame wild whales~.
...
I thought Courtney had thought of the lyrics, but seeing Chris' face and listening to the song again I now understand that this was all his idea... to Gwen's utter dismay.
Confessional.
Justin
"It's not the best princess prototype, but I still want her to be a part of my alliance."
End of confessional.
"That's it, Gwen, sing," Justin said, making the goth want to bury her head in the ground. Harold swayed to the music, I remember he liked the song.
"Gwen is so lucky," Lindsay said, I doubt she thinks so.
"I know," Beth said disappointedly.
...
When we kiss~,
When we kiss, my prince will beeeee youuuuu~".
...
She finished the song by kissing a real toad with a crown, "Yuck!" then tossing it away.
Confessional.
Gwen
"The things I do for a million dollars."
End of confessional.
The toad landed in Justin's face, "AHHHHH! Warts get it off, get it off!" he said as he ran in circles.
"Wasn't that song brilliant?" said Chris, "It was so brilliant, I know everyone wishes they could hear it over and over and over again, and now they can. Relive the magic of Gwen for only $12.99. Call 555-SELL-OUT to get your authentic Princess Gwen CD before everyone else downloads it illegally!"
"Tell me you didn't," Gwen said, ready to pull her hair out.
"I'll take one," Heather said grabbing the record excitedly, "oh, I'm definitely going to relive this precise moment every time I hear this song," she said looking at Gwen with sadism, today must have been like a birthday for Heather.
"Grrrrr," Gwen was only left to growl at her bad luck.
"Don't listen to her Gwen, I genuinely think you're an amazing princess, yes, you're all scary and dull, but hey, I'd still run out to rescue you," Justin said.
"Thank you... I think," Gwen said.
Chef came riding Bethsy and Gwen climbed into her back, "Are we supposed to catch him?" I asked taking the role of Duncan.
"No, it's the classic princess abduction. As the villain makes a whirlwind getaway on a swift steed," Chris said.
Chef lightly kicked Bethsy's side, but she didn't move, "Guess ol' Betsy here didn't read the script," the troll said.
"Eh... Justin, you might want to move," I said.
"So that you are closer to the princess? Never," said the model.
"Kick harder," said Chris, Chef did just that.
*Blow*
*Boom*
And Bethsy kicked accordingly by knocking Justin's teeth hitting his face hard.
"That hurt," the model said on the ground.
"Well, I tried," I said.
"So, that's how the four knight lost the princess," Chris narrated ignoring the fallen model, "but fate, A.K.A. me," the truth is that at this point I wouldn't be surprised if they were the same, "wasn't finished with them. They followed the troll all the way to a fight to the death! Because that's how I like my princesses saved."
"If you ask me, this princess is not worth a fight with death itself, he can keep her," Heather said.
"You can quit if you want Heather, I'm sure any of the other knights will enjoy immunity very much," Chris said.
"Let's get for that dark princess," said the queen bee totally determined now.
"Please, anyone but Heather, rescue me," Gwen asked from the horse's back.
"I will rescue you princess! I promise!" shouted Justin.
-0-
We were taken to a different set where a water tower had been turned into a princess tower.
"Sir Justin, Sir Harold, Sir Cody and hehe Sir Heather, reached the ivory tower in which the troll had stuck the Gothic princess," Chris narrated, it must be funny to be pushed in an armchair everywhere, "but there was only one way to rescue her."
"Jump Gwen! I'll get you!" said Heather joyfully from down here.
"She's not going to get her, is she?" asked Beth.
"No, she won't," Lindsay replied surely, I agree.
"Yeah, of course! And then we'll ride at sunset on your unicorn!" said Gwen sarcastically from the summit.
Lindsay gasped, "Does Heather have a unicorn?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Cough, I mean, of course not, it's not like I still believe they exist or anything like that, that would be very immature," Lindsay said with a red face of embarrassment, she's so cute.
The truth is, if Sasquatchanakwa and aliens are real, who says there can't be unicorns out there somewhere?
"As I was saying before everyone interrupted me so rudely," Chris told us, "The only way to rescue the princess, is for one of the brave knights to slay the dragon!"
"Too bad we don't have a dragon," Heather said.
"Well, we don't have a real dragon," Chris said.
*STOMP, STOMP*
The earth rumbled and our eyes widened when the animatronic dinosaur arrived with a dragon hood, "fortunately we do have the alien monster guy," said the host, then took wooden swords, "Let the dragon-slaying begin!" he said as he threw the swords at us, thank goodness I didn't get the smallest one.
"Good luck Cody," Lindsay said as she blew me a kiss.
"Thank you Linds."
"... good luck Heather," she also said to the queen bee.
Heather was surprised, but she knew how to hide it well, it seems that these two could reconcile at some point.
"I'll save you, princess!" Justin said as he ran toward the dragon.
"Oh don't even dream it, that immunity is mine!" said Heather, going behind the model. I shrugged my shoulders and went after them too, how did I go from fearing a bear to fighting a giant lizard with a wooden sword? Life is curious.
...
POV. Third person
Heather and Justin pushed each other as they went towards the dragon, until it raised its huge foot on top of them, they had no choice but to jump away from each other to escape.
Justin fell on Harold's side, "we have to work together, or else she'll end up saving Gwen."
"And staying with immunity," Harold reminded him.
"Who cares about immunity? I want Gwen, I need her for my alliance," Justin said.
Harold got to thinking, he had an idea of how to beat the dragon, but it was unlikely that Cody or Heather would fall into such a predictable trap... although perhaps Heather could fall into a different trap.
"Okay, I think I have an idea, but I'm going to need you to do your best performance," he told the model.
"Dude, I was born to act," Justin said.
...
Heather was hitting the dragon's leg with her sword, mainly because she couldn't think of anything better to do, Cody was close to her thinking about how to reach the weak spot at the top. Perhaps climbing the tower to jump the dragon could work, but if it failed it would be a very painful fall.
"Hey Romeo, stop fantasizing and help me take down this lizard!" demanded Heather irritably.
Perhaps it would be best to go with Harold's original plan. However, any ideas were put on the back burner as he raised his sword and used it to fend off an attack from Justin.
"What the-?" said the geek on guard.
"Haha, I won't let you do it nerdy," the model said as he launched another attack, which Cody blocked again. However, he had to back down.
"What do you think you're doing, ex-adonis?" shouted Heather annoyed.
"Preventing the two of you from winning the challenge," Justin said as he again tackled Cody aggressively, "Go Harold! Rescue the princess while Heather distracts the dragon!" the model told the nerd.
"Well, leave it to me," Harold said with the intention of scaling the tower.
"Oh no! You won't!" Heather left her dispute with the dragon not caring that he followed her and went after Harold.
"AHHHHHHH!", he fled being chased around the tower by both Heather and the dragon.
Justin was still engaged in his sword duel with Cody, but the geek wouldn't be so easy to beat, if he could endure a swordfish match against Alejandro, he would have no problem keeping up with Justin.
"I'm surprised you gave Harold the opportunity to get immunity," Cody said suspiciously, they clashed swords and were stuck again.
"What can I say, I'm a very kind person," the swords clashed once again, "besides, it's all part of the plan."
"What plan?"
Justin's eyes widened, "Plan? Who said anything about a plan? Fight, nerd!", the model continued trying to hit him with the sword.
...
On Heather and Harold's side, they were both already going for their third lap around the tower, however, this was all part of Harold's plan, he was finally able to find an opportunity.
"Hey Heather, I never thanked you for letting me see your boobs, did I?" said the nerd.
The queen bee's gaze became sharp and murderous, "Oh now you are a dead man, loser!" she said as she ran faster to catch up with him and with her sword ready to strike him.
Harold ran in circles around the monster's legs, Heather was catching up with him, she lunged to hit him, but with feline abilities Harold moved out of the way.
*Blow*
"Ouch!" and Heather punched the Chef in the head.
*Boom*
The cook fainted at the queen bee's stunned gaze, but she didn't have time to take it in when a great shadow hung over her.
"Timber!" shouted Harold from a safe place.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!", Heather, Justin and Cody, screamed when the large lizard almost crushed them, the two knights pulled out of the way, while Heather tried to flee.
*BOOOOM*
The great beast fell to the ground, Beth and Lindsay were watching the scene with concern for their friends.
"Damn," Heather said from under the monster's hand, her foot had been caught and she couldn't pull it out.
"Haha," Harold said from the dragon's summit, "I, the great Sir Harold, have defeated the beast... Oh, and I also knocked down the dragon," he said dramatically.
"No!" said Heather.
Someone came up next to her and stuck his sword under his claw to pry it up, "Cody!" she said in surprise as he gritted his teeth and forced as best he could.
The paw rose slightly, "Get out!" said Cody.
She pulled her foot with great effort, up Harold stuck his sword into the dragon's weak point neutralizing it.
"Yes!" said Heather finally managing to free her foot, "Give me that!" she said taking Cody's sword, then threw it at Harold as if it were a spear.
"Ouch!"
*Boom*
The sword struck him in the head, knocking him from the dragon's back to the hard, solid ground.
"Good shot," Cody said.
"Thank you, now if you don't mind, I have an immunity to win," said the queen bee as she grabbed her own sword and ran towards the water tower to start climbing, Cody decided to stay down, he no longer had his sword and didn't want to get in Heather's hungry path for immunity.
"That's what I should say!" said Justin out of nowhere and climbing behind Heather.
"Wanna rescue Princess Gwen too? Now you can for only $79.95. Order your very own Princess Gwen limited edition glass boot doll. Playing with the Princess Gwen doll is as fun… as doing it with the real one," Chris said with a doll box in his hand.
"Awwwww, she's as cute as the real Gwen, I can't wait to play with her hair," Lindsay said with the doll in her hand.
"A doll!? Really Chris!?" the real Gwen shouted from above.
"And the best part, she doesn't get a dime for this," Chris told the camera.
...
On top of the tower Gwen saw how Heather climbed faster than Justin, she looked around for anything he could throw at the queen bee to make her fall.
"Let go of my foot, you sore loser! I just got it back!" Heather said to Justin trying to get him to let go of her foot, the model refused to let her move forward.
"Never!" said Justin, "I'll be the one to rescue the princess!"
From the ground Cody saw Gwen throw something at Heather, "Watch out!" the geek shouted from below.
Heather looked up and got away from the projectile.
*Blow*
"¡Also! ¡AHHHHHH!".
*Boom*
While Justin was knocked down by the glass boot that hit him in the face.
Confessional.
Gwen
"Well... that didn't work."
End of confessional.
Cody approached the model to see how he was doing, "tell me the truth, am I still handsome?", then he fainted.
"He's going to be fine," Cody told the rest, luckily for him this time he fell from a more bearable height... to the standards of this program.
Up Heather managed to reach the top of the tower where Gwen looked at her angrily with her arms crossed.
"Yes, yes, yes! In your face, in your faces, in everyone's faces! Hahahahaha," Heather laughed from the top of the world.
"And that's how Knight Heather rescued Princess Gwen from the dragon's clutches... then they shared a hot and passionate kiss to make a pact for their true love," Chris narrated.
"In your dreams! / That will never happen again!", the two furious Amazons shouted at the presenter.
"Well, forget the alternate ending, let's go with the original, Knight Heather and Princess Gwen dueled with swords to determine the winner," Chris said disappointed, that kiss would have skyrocketed the ratings.
"That's an ending I can accept," Heather said, then tried to hit Gwen with the sword, the goth ducked, Heather went for another hit, but Gwen grabbed her hands, then they both began to struggle for the sword while pushing each other, "You know? I never liked you," Heather told her.
"I agree, you're unbearable," Gwen told her trying to take the sword from her.
Heather put her against the railing, "all that dark and emo stuff is so annoying, who thinks gloomy and gothic is cool?"
Gwen turned now putting her against the railing, "And who do you think you're kidding? Those clothes leave nothing to the imagination, you are just a pervert who likes to have dudes looking at her boobs."
Heather kicked her and put her against the wall with the sword on her neck, "That only happened once and it wasn't on purpose!", she smiled, "at least people look at me and think I'm sexy, you on the other hand only have a good side, don't you? Too bad that only dogs like the full moon," she mocked the goth's butt.
"At least mine is natural, not like your face, fake bitch with excess makeup," Gwen told him in revenge.
Heather gasped completely offended, "You bitch!" she said trying to push her away.
From below, Cody and Harold (who was still lying on the ground) watched the two girls struggle and argue on top of the tower.
"Hey Cody, they're fighting, aren't they?"
"Yes," the geek replied.
"They are also insulting and hitting each other, right?"
"It seems so."
"... so, why seeing them struggle seems so... Erotic?" he said nerdically without being sure that was the right word.
Cody was asking himself the exact same question, it couldn't be just because of morbid fantasy, or could it?, "Maybe why are they both hot?" replied the geek.
"... yes, they're pretty hot when they're angry, aren't they?" Harold concluded, "they remind me of LeShawna."
"...it's okay for us to let them insult each other like that?" asked Lindsay, cringing at some of the things that were shouted up there.
"Well, it's the longest time those two have talked to each other, with all the stress they've been accumulating, this could be therapeutic for them," Cody said.
Back at the top of the tower, the two Amazons had finally gotten tired of shouting at each other and were now just struggling, both were quite evenly matched so it was difficult to break the stalemate.
"Look, Duncan is back and he's taking his shirt off," Heather said.
"Nice try, Heather... oh, Cody is grabbing Lindsay's breasts in front of everyone," said the goth.
Heather's face turned red, and her eye began to tremble, but she refused to look away, then widened her eyes, "oh wow, I don't think so! No way! IMPOSSIBLE!" said Heather more and more astonished.
"What? What is it? What are you seeing?" said Gwen more and more curiously.
"Who would have imagined?" said the queen bee with delight.
"What!?" said Gwen with a grimace, she couldn't take it anymore... She turned around.
Then Heather pushed her over the railing with the sword, "Goths are really naïve, who would have imagined?" she said with false intrigue.
"AHHHHHH! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!", dijo Gwen mientras caía.
On the ground Cody was standing near the tower, he moved following the shadow of the goth across the ground with his arms outstretched, a single thought in his mind.
"This is going to hurt."
"Ahhhh!".
*BOOM*
Cody caught the goth, but she fell so hard that it was like catching a cannonball falling from the sky. They both lay on the ground, semi-conscious and unable to move, Gwen slumped on top of a dazed Cody.
"Cough, shit, it felt like being crushed by a sack of potatoes thrown at the speed of sound," the geek said with sore arms, if it wasn't for all the stunts he's been doing since he started this show, he would surely have broken his arms trying to catch Gwen.
"Cough, the good news... At least neither of us ended up mashed," said the goth half-jokingly, her body hurt from the fall, "thank you for catching me."
"Don't worry about it," Cody said downplaying it
"Are you both okay?" said Lindsay worriedly as she came to check on her boyfriend and friend.
"No," they both replied at the same time.
"And with that Heather wins today's challenge and immunity," Chris said.
"WOO HOO~!" celebrated Heather from the tower, "that's what I'm talking about."
"Everyone else, good luck choosing who to vote for tonight," the presenter concluded.
-0-
POV. Cody
"Are you feeling better yet?" Lindsay asked me as she lightly pressed her hand to my chest to make sure nothing was broken. We were at the picnic tables outside the trailers.
I let her press on my chest, I no longer felt any discomfort, "yes, I'm fine, don't worry, I'm recovering quickly, and that blow wasn't so bad," I said calmly while lightly tapping my chest to show her that I was fine. Catching Gwen was tough but recovering from a broken or sprained hip would have been even harder. And at least I have my amazing resilience, one of the few genetic blessings I can boast of.
Lindsay finally calmed down and smiled, then hugged me, fitting her cute scented head against my neck, "thank goodness, I was worried," she said as she squeezed like a kitten for attention.
I blushed and smiled silly at her affectionate cuddles, wrapped an arm around her and caressed her in her perfect hair, "I'm sorry, I'll try to be more careful", I told her, this girl has a very reassuring air.
She moved away, pity, "you better be, I don't know what I would say to Izzy if something happened to you," she said reproachfully, I am very moved by the affection she has for Izzy.
I kissed her on the cheek which made her smile, "well, hopefully you won't have to anytime soon... changing of topic... Heather told me she wants us to vote for Gwen," I let her know, ending the tender atmosphere.
She frowned, "I wouldn't want to, I like Gwen," she said rubbing her arm.
"Yes, me too, but I understand Heather's thinking a little bit, Justin hasn't been discreet about trying to get her to join him, we have to get her out before he convinces her," I said.
"Why don't we send Justin off?" she asked me.
"Because Gwen wouldn't vote for Justin, as she sees Heather as a bigger threat, but since she can't eliminate her, she could go for you or me instead since we're technically her allies," I explained.
She sighed, "I understand," she said simply.
I stroked his head, "we all have to leave sooner or later, that's what I tell myself when I have to vote for someone I like."
She leaned on me again and smiled, "thanks for telling me," she said relaxing.
"A pleasure to make you feel better," I said as I continued to cuddle her.
"Hey Cody... Do you still like Heather?" Lindsay asked out of nowhere.
"...", I was silent for a moment and stopped stroking her head, Lindsay moved away so she could look at me, "... yes, just like with Izzy and you... I also like Heather... although our relationship as you imagined... it's really complicated... I wouldn't know how to really describe it."
"Is that why you're helping her?" I ask myself.
"Not ... if Heather did something that hurts someone again the way she did to you that time... I would even ally myself with Justin to eliminate her, I have faith that she is not going to go beyond what is the competition, that is why I help her, in addition, it makes it easier for me to keep an eye on her."
"Hahahaha, are you sure you don't keep an eye on her for another reason?" Lindsay asked me mischievously.
"Hey! I might be a pervert, but that's not all I have in my head, you know?" I said a little indignantly.
"Izzy told me that's all you have in your head," she said humorously while laughing.
"Even when she's not here she still finds ways to annoy me," I said rolling my eyes, then I smiled, "I miss her."
To my surprise Lindsay took my head and gently buried it against her remarkable cleavage, "I miss her too... But the selfish part of my head is happy that she's not here, because then I can have you all to myself for a while," she said as she hugged me. The heat was invading my face, both from my face and from Lindsay's soft breasts, it was intoxicating, even when we were just friends she never had any qualms about showing me affection in this way, but now the context was a little different, "Does that make me a bad person?" She asked.
"No... everyone is selfish with something, hahaha look at me, I'm dating two girls at once," I said jokingly.
Lindsay pulled away and looked at my face, "that doesn't count," she said with a smile, then she leaned over and kissed me on the lips, little by little she pushed me down slightly with her hands, until I was lying on the picnic table with her on top of me, all this without separating her lips from mine, I felt her tongue invade my mouth at some point. When she finally got away, she looked down at me with her silky golden hair acting as a curtain so that her face would be the only thing I saw, "because both girls love you too, so it's not just up to you," she said as she walked over and rubbed her nose with mine, "and that you reciprocated both Izzy and me, Even if someone else thinks it's inappropriate, for me... That's another proof of how sweet you are," she finished with an innocent smile.
All this sweet behavior on her part was pushing me to my limit, I took a deep breath, opened and closed my fist several times, all so as not to do something indecent to her right here and now, nervously looking away, "that sounded very smart, where is my adorable dumb blonde?", I said jokingly trying to calm down.
"Hey!" she said indignantly.
"Hahahahahahahaha," I couldn't help laughing, both because her reaction was funny, and to keep me distracted.
"Hahahahahahahaha," she didn't take long to follow me.
-0-
POV. Third person
Gwen was walking down the path to the toilet stall, long since she had recovered from the fall.
She went by the fake trees, "hello Gwen", then Justin peeked out from through some bushes scaring her.
"AHHH! Justin? Were you hiding all this time waiting for me to appear?" asked the goth once the initial scare was over.
"What? No, that would be ridiculous, it was only a couple of hours," said the model.
Gwen sighed exhaustedly, "What do you want?"
"I want you, help me eliminate Cody," he said.
"And why would I do that? Lindsay would be very sad if I voted for him, not to mention that he saved me from getting injured today," Gwen told him, she is aware that Cody is helping Heather, but he never stopped treating her like a friend, "and don't think I forgot about your little trick at the beginning of the season, you wanted to blackmail me for what Trent did," she accused him with narrowed eyes.
"Hey, hey, there's no need to live in the past," Justin said quickly, "what matters is the present, and in ours, Heather will be invincible as long as she has her alliance, taking Cody out is the best way to weaken her and you know it."
Gwen tried to continue with her cold attitude as much as she could, but in the end she sighed acknowledging that the former model was right.
Justin held out his hand, "see, you know I'm right, let's collaborate, even if it's this time," he said temptingly.
Gwen still had her doubts, but one thing is for sure, she wanted to get Heather out, so she held out her hand to Justin sealing her fate, "fine, but only this once," she told him.
-0-
It was time for another awards ceremony, Chris was standing on stage, "guess what contestants, I got a call from the producers, apparently the Gwen dolls are a resounding success," said the presenter enthusiastically.
"You can't be serious," said the disgruntled real Gwen.
"I'm serious, apparently not only little girls but also our target audience are interested in getting their hands on a doll of the gothic princess Gwen, who knows for what shady purposes," the presenter ended by whispering. Gwen had no choice but to snort bitterly, "well, leaving that aside, everyone already voted and here I have the results, the first Gilded Chris is for the person with immunity, Heather!", she caught the award and stuck her tongue out at the rest, "the next one... Lindsay...
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... Harold", Chris had already handed out all the prizes except one, "contestants... this is the last Gilded Chris of the night... only two of you remain, one will receive the award... the other... is going home," Gwen and Cody exchanged a look, no matter what, no hard feelings between the two," and the last Gilded Chris is for...
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Cody!" said Chris, then threw the geek the prize.
Gwen looked quite surprised, "What!?", but not as surprised as Justin.
"Number one rule of war, rookie; always pay attention to all your cards," Heather told him with a smile.
~0~
Harold was leaving the service store while eating a sandwich.
"Hey Harold~".
"Mm!" and he almost chokes when he hears Heather's singing voice behind him, "Heather, don't think you'll be able to cajole me with your remarkable attributes," the nerd said in a kung fu pose with the sandwich as a weapon.
"Relax, I've just come to collect a favor," the queen bee told him carefreely.
"Favor?" said Harold confused.
"Oh nothing complicated... I just want you to vote for Gwen," Heather told him, still unconcerned.
Harold's eyes widened, "What!? I can't do that, Justin would kill me," the nerd said.
"Oh, so you refuse, I thought you had more honor than that, I guess it was too much to ask you to return the favor," Heather said pretending to be hurt.
"What favor are you talking about?" the nerd asked.
Heather stopped playing games, grabbed the nerd by the T-shirt and pulled him close to her carefully neutral face, "I'm talking about the favor of getting my alliance to vote for Duncan," she told him.
Harold swallowed, "Oh... that favor."
"Yes, that favor, favor that you better pay by voting for Gwen because if not, I can guarantee that I will make your life miserable," she let go and he fell to the floor, "starting by telling LeShawna what you sing about her when you are in the shower," Heather finished with a sadistic smile of a cat playing with a defenseless canary.
Harold's eyes narrowed in panic. "Okay, okay!" he said in total defeat, "I'll vote for Gwen," he said.
Heather returned to her cheerful mood, "thank you for your collaboration."
-0-
POV. Cody
Wow, this time Heather really showed off what she's made of, it looks like I'll stay a little longer in the competition after all, but now Gwen has to go.
"Gwen, it was so much fun to have you here hahahahahaha," Chris teased her, the goth frowned at her, something tells me that Chris still holds a grudge against her about the painting and the trailer, "but all good things must end, that includes you, so get out of here," the presenter concluded.
"Well, it looks like once again I'm leaving, at least I got further than last time and I could watch Heather embarrass herself for another season," Gwen said pleased.
"In your dreams, loser," Heather told her with her arms crossed.
I got up and hugged my friend, "we are going to miss you, believe me, your absence will be noticed," I told her.
"Thank you, Cody," she said, hugging me back.
"Goodbye friend," Lindsay said sadly as she hugged us both.
"Goodbye Gwen," Beth said, joining the embrace from the other side.
"Goodbye girls, I'm going to miss you both, you better kick those dumb boys' butts," said the goth.
"We'll do that," Lindsay said.
She broke away from us and started walking down the red carpet toward the lame-o-sine, but stopped for a moment and turned around, "oh and Cody... Do us all a favor... and fuck that bitch once and for all," Gwen said, pointing her thumb at Heather.
The queen bee looked completely dismayed, "Excuse me!?"
"I'm going to try," I played along with Gwen.
"EXCUSE ME?," Heather said again, now with an indignant face.
"Good luck Heather~ you're going to need it hahahahahahaha," Gwen said with a laugh, leaving the queen bee speechless and leaving the competition with the last word.
"Hahahahahaha, I'm starting to understand why Gwen dolls are so popular," Chris said while laughing.
Gwen climbed on the lame-o-sine and set off toward the horizon.
"Goodbye for now, Gwen," I said.
-0-
POV. Third person
The remaining campers began to withdraw for the day, now only Chris was left on stage, "and Gwen has left the competition, too bad... at least we were able to get as much drama out of her as we could while she was here... but that doesn't matter anymore, we have finally reached the top six, and everyone left has something to say, which alliance will crush the other? Who will rise among the rest of the failures? Who will fall to the lowest and be cast out? Find out in the mysterious and enigmatic next episode of TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!".