Chapter 6 A Deep Pit of Despair

Roy had honestly been relieved at the fact that Larry decided he wanted to do hero work. Finally! He was actually doing something that he enjoyed! He was taking part in an activity that could and probably would work wonders when it came to helping him out! Thank goodness! Thank all the Gods who might be looking down on the Mushroom World. Larry really needed this. He DEFINITELY needed this! Roy had been so happy when Larry left.

Which only served to make his sadness when Larry returned even more bitter. Well, okay, he didn't immediately feel sad; he more so felt horrified at the sight of Larry covered in dried blood. That… well, did Roy really need to say that that was an awful sight? At first, Roy had worried that it was Larry's blood until he remembered that Larry didn't exactly have blood anymore. But that fact brought Roy absolutely no comfort at all because if it wasn't Larry's blood, it had to be someone else's. Which… which meant…

Oh God, thinking about it now made Roy feel sick. As he lifted weights in the gym, he couldn't get his younger brother out of his head. Peppy and Larry had worked together to explain where the blood came from, and… oh man, Roy felt nauseous just thinking about that again. Swallowing a lump thick enough to count as a rock, he put his weights down. He had probably spent too much time in this gym anyway, especially at a time when Larry needed attention. Before, he had been too apprehensive to try and comfort the inconsolable Koopaling, but he had gotten over the initial shock. He felt better like he could handle the task of helping Larry see the light at the end of the tunnel.

He just hoped that confidence wasn't misplaced.

So, walking at a brisk pace, he made his way up to Larry's room. The walk sped by in a blur, so when Roy got to Larry's room, it felt like no time had passed whatsoever. Roy, deciding that there wasn't much point in knocking, opened the door. He reached into his hammerspace as he walked into the room, pulling out the book on grief he had been reading from. He was about to open it and flip through it to see if it could help (there HAD to be a chapter in here about what to do if a grief-stricken kid killed someone in their sadness, right?) when he heard sniffling. That sound, that quiet but no less saddening sound, made Roy felt as though he was right on the edge of the pit of despair.

"Larry?" Roy walked over to his little brother, who lay in his bed with his face in his pillow. His sniffles and whimpers, while muffled, hurt Roy on a deep and personal level. Was this the first time Larry had cried since Tec's death? He honestly couldn't remember. Maybe he cried upon first hearing the news… honestly, that hardly mattered. It didn't matter if Larry hadn't cried before; the sound of him doing so now could make even the hardest, stony hearts break. Once again hoping that there was something he could do, Roy approached Larry.

"Larry…" he racked his brain for something to say. Good words would just seem empty, promises would be hollow. Realizing that he should probably ditch the speaking idea, Roy put his hand on his brother's shoulder. He stroked and pet it, doing so in a way that had been comforting to him in the past. Maybe the same would prove true for his best bro.

"I'm so sorry," Roy whispered. He figured that, if nothing else, he could at least say that. Because it was true; he WAS sorry. He was sorry that Larry had guilt on his conscience on top of grief. He was sorry that Larry's time as Captain Metal had done no good for him in the end. He… he was sorry that he didn't have the answers. As someone who hadn't had very many encounters with grief (the closest he got was when their grandfather died, but they weren't really that close, so it hadn't been as horrible as it could've been), he had no idea what to do. And if what had happened was any indication, it was gonna take a lot more than a book about dealing with grief for him to get some concrete answers.

"I hate this," Larry whispered. It was barely audible because of the muffling of the pillow, but it was clear as day.

"I hear ya, buddy." Roy frowned, stopping with the stroking of Larry's shoulder in favor of just keeping his hand in place. "I hear ya."

There was a silence in the room before Larry turned over on his back. His eyes were so red and watery. "I just…" he sighed. "I feel like a monster."

"You're not," Roy said. "Believe me, you're not."

Larry just sighed. "I just… I just can't believe someone would go to such lengths to cause misery." He stopped before grunting. "I mean, I can, but when that thug shot the girl… I can't even describe it." He wiped his eyes. "I was… I was back in that computer room. Everything was crashing down on me, and…" he shook his head. "I felt like it was the only thing I could do."

Silence. Roy's stomach twisted into knots as he processed what Larry just told him. "There's… there's definitely a lot of ugliness in the world."

More tears came up in Larry's eyes. "I wish there wasn't." He tried in vain to wipe his face. "The fact that innocent people lost their lives for no reason… well, the wife and daughter lost their lives for no reason. Tec didn't." He looked down at his comforter. "Which just makes this worse."

Roy felt tears build up in his eyes. He removed his sunglasses and wiped the tears away, his heart hurting so much. The deep dark pit of despair that he had the opportunity to fall into was getting bigger every second.

"Is… is there something I can do for you?" Roy asked.

Larry bit his lip. "No." His voice was barely above a whisper, and yet it stung more than a scream. "There's nothing you can do. There's nothing anyone can do."

Tears fell from Roy's eyes and landed on Larry's carpet. "O…okay." He hated feeling helpless. That was part of why he worked out so much; to be big and strong so that he never had to feel like he couldn't do anything. But lifting all those weights didn't prepare him for this scenario.

"I, uh…" An awkwardness set over Roy's heart. He couldn't speak, couldn't think, couldn't do anything that could help Larry. He started backing up, feeling like he wanted to disappear. "I… I'm really sorry, Larry." He bit his lip, trying his best to hold back the tears. "If I could do something, I would."

With that, he finally exited. As he closed the door, Roy had the hardest time dealing with his own emotions. This… why did this have to happen? When Larry made the wish that turned him into a robot, Roy felt worried and scared. He had been worried that Larry would end up regretting it, which unfortunately was exactly what happened. Larry had gotten out of that funk though, but… there was no way that funk compared to this all-time low. And what made it worse, at least in Roy's eyes, was that Larry wouldn't be in this position if he hadn't made his wish. If he hadn't turned into a robot, Francis wouldn't have found and kidnapped him. If that never happened, Larry wouldn't have met Tec, which means Tec would've never died.

Roy swallowed more tears. That wish had been more trouble than it was worth, and yet, there was nothing anyone could do about it. At least, there was nothing Roy could do about it. And he hated that fact so much; again, he hated feeling so small and helpless. He hoped that there was a light at the end of the tunnel that he, Larry, and the other Koopalings just weren't seeing right now, but…

Honestly, he was doubting he was.

…

"So then, I did another sextuple flip, landed perfectly on my circus ball, and I managed to catch all the pins I had been juggling perfectly!" Lemmy laughed. "I never thought I could pull off a trick like that! I wanted to, but… oh man, I feel so good right now!"

The Koopa family (sans Larry, of course) were all seated at the table in the dining hall, enjoying a dinner of moo moo stew. Lemmy was telling everyone the story of how he did the impossible, which was definitely impressive. If Roy was in a good mood, he knew he would feel good about how far his little older brother had come. But now? Now, all he could do was pick at his food and sulk. Nothing else felt appropriate right now.

"Wow, Lems!" Bowser exclaimed from the head of the table. "That's incredible! I'm so proud of you!"

"You know what? I'm proud of you too." Ludwig, from his seat right next to Lemmy, gave him a big bright grin. "I mean… you've come a long way. I know you said that you didn't think you could pull it off, but… I never doubted you could. Not even for a second."

Lemmy's face turned pink as he returned Ludwig's smile. "Thank you. That means a lot."

"I feel a certain sensation of pride as well, Lemmy," Iggy said. He took a bite of stew. "Seeing someone make progress in an area that they are passionate about… not only is it impressive, but I would even go far as to say it is inspiring."

"I would say that too!" Wendy said as she grinned. "I love seeing someone work their way from the bottom to the top. It's… I don't know; it just makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside."

"Yeah!" Junior exclaimed from his spot near Bowser. "You rock, Lemmy!"

The family said more after that, talking about how proud of their brother they were. And honestly, Roy wished he could join them. He wished he could say he was deeply moved by the feats Lemmy was able to accomplish, but he just… wasn't. Instead of teetering on the edge of the pit of despair, he had now finally fallen in. And the more time passed, and the more he thought about Larry's current emotional state, the deeper and deeper he fell. Soon, he would reach the bottom, and from there… oh, Roy didn't even want to think about that. He hurt too much right now. He could recount times when he had felt worse than this, sure. But right now, he didn't care. He could only focus on his feelings, nothing else. And right now, his feelings were trapped in a state worse than oblivion.

"Roy, are you okay?" Morton asked from across the table.

Roy lifted his head, He saw Morton looking at him with a furrowed brow. In fact, his whole family was looking at him with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah, are you okay, Roy?" Lemmy asked. "You've been awfully quiet."

Roy stirred his stew, not even able to make a joke to ease the tension. "I'm not doing too hot."

"Is this because of Larry?" Wendy asked.

Roy sighed. "I just… the more I think about him, I…" he stopped and sniffled as a tear threatened to fall in his stew. "I… I'm sorry." He took off his shades and wiped his eyes. "I want to do something to help him, but… it seems like nothing will."

A silence overcame the scene, with all the excitement over hearing Lemmy talking about his tricks now a distant memory. Roy tried to keep himself from crying. He was a big tough dude, and last time he checked, it was unusual for big tough dudes to cry. And yet, that was the only thing he could really do right now. Neither his body or his mind would allow him to do anything else. The bottom of the pit of despair was growing closer and closer, with the light at the entrance of the hole so far away that it was no longer visible.

"Roy," Bowser said. He paused for a minute before sighing. "Don't worry." Roy turned to look at him, shocked that he was able to smile. "I know it seems hopeless, but we can help Larry. I know we can. We just need to put our heads together to think of a solution."

Roy bit his lip. Thinking wasn't exactly his strong suit, and he wasn't sure how well him trying to think would work now. "Like what? What possibly is there?"

Bowser put his hand to his chin. "Hmm…" the next five minutes or so were spent in silence as all the Koopalings watched their father think. The tension and silence were both unbearable, almost making Roy walk out of the room. Before he did, thankfully, Bowser gasped. "I've got it!"

"You do?" Roy asked.

"I do!" Bowser smiled. "And I think I know exactly what Larry needs."