Fíli woke up with a pounding headache as if a Troll had hit the back of his head with a club.

Gritting his teeth and keeping his eyes firmly shut, he forced his leaden body to roll to his side, only sighing in relief when his face pressed against soft warm cotton. Gingerly, he nuzzled against the source of comfort, and breathed in the familiar scent of cinnamon and cloves exuding from the cloth.

"Fíli? Are you awake?" came a gruff voice somewhere above his head.

Fíli tightened his grip on the fabric under his hands – Kíli's cotton sleeping shirt, if he were to guess, which meant that he was clinging to his little brother like a limpet.

He bit back the wave of shame cresting over him, clenched his eyes tighter and shook his head minutely.

He wasn't ready to get out of bed to face the world. Frankly, he was more than happy to ignore the whole Suitor Problem and his fight with Kíli for as long as possible, especially if it meant that he could stay curled in his bed.

Kíli seemed to have understood what he was thinking since he didn't press further. Instead, Fíli felt himself being pulled closer to his brother's chest in a loose embrace. Strong, warm hands ran down his clothed back in gentle, even strokes, and Fíli felt the knots in his muscles loosen at the soothing, rhythmic motion.

They stayed like that for a small eternity.

"Fíli, you should eat something, it's getting late…" Kíli trailed off, voice uncharacteristically hesitant.

"Not hungry," Fíli muttered into the fabric of Kíli's shirt. The thought of eating was making him ill.

He ignored his brother's soft sigh. He knew he was being pathetic but for once in his life, he just wanted to stay in place until things felt normal again.

The soft knock on the door shattered that thought, and he felt himself go tense on reflex.

"I need to get the door. Please let go?"

Fíli stubbornly held on and said nothing.

"It will only take a second," his brother tried again. "I promise I'll be right back."

Reluctantly, Fíli forced his fingers to uncurl, loosening them one by one so that his brother can wriggle out of his grip. He watched with bleary eyes as Kíli peeled back the covers, climbed out of bed, and quietly padded over to the door.

Logically, Fíli knew that he couldn't stay laying in bed forever. At some point, he will need to leave his room and deal with the piling problems awaiting him. He would need to apologize to Bilbo for ruining his party, to Uncle Thorin for making him worry, to Dwalin for having to step in and clean up his mess –

"Good afternoon, Cousin Thorin. Thank you for bringing this to us," he heard Kíli mutter.

And to Cousin Thorin for literally throwing himself in harm's way so that Fíli could escape. If it weren't for his cousin, Fíli would have continued to stand there in shock like the idiot that he was.

Durin, he made a complete mess of everything.

" – don't think that he's ready yet. Maybe try again tomorrow. Can you tell the others –"

Fíli tugged his covers over his head until the conversation was muffled to an undistinguishable murmur. He would also have to apologize to Kíli for taking care of his business after the way he was acting to him and to Miss Tauriel. He was the worst.

The door shut with a soft click. "Fíli?" Kíli's voice was back to being soft and hesitant. Fíli cringed beneath his covers. "Cousin Thorin brought us something to eat."

And because Kíli knew Fíli well, he added, "It's got bacon in it."

"'m not hungry," Fíli mumbled stubbornly again, only to be foiled by his stomach growling at the tantalizing smell of meat. Damn it.

"Fíli, I can hear your stomach growling." Light footsteps drew closer to the bed. "Fíli," a warm hand rested on his shoulder and shook him gently. "C'mon, get outta there."

Fíli barely had the chance to brace himself when the warm blanket covering his head was yanked back, and a rush of cool air hit his face.

"There you are," his brother's gentle grinning face swam into view. Fíli couldn't remember the last time he saw his brother smile at him like that. Certainly not before their fight, not at the healing tent in the aftermath of their battle where – Leave me alone, Fíli.

The thought hurt his heart.

"Why don't you get out of there?" his brother's voice brought him back to the present. He held out the plate of food in offering.

Fíli groped for a nearby pillow and buried his face in it in response.

He heard his brother sigh and felt the bed dip from his weight. "C'mon, Fee. I'm not going to go away until you eat something."

When Fíli remained silent, his tone turned pleading, "At least eat a little. I promise to stop nagging if you eat just a little." A pause, then, "Please, Fee." Desperate. Shy of breaking.

Fíli could never refuse his brother when he sounded like that.

Sighing, the blond lifted the pillow off his head, pulled himself upright, and reached for the plate. Eggs, pancake and bacon. Normally his favourite, but he doubted that he would taste anything other than cardboard. He took a tentative bite of the bacon strip, anything to stop his brother from staring at him so earnestly, and from sounding like that.

They spent a few minutes in thick silence, punctuated by the sound of Fíli's mechanical chewing.

"Bilbo isn't blaming you. Nobody is."

Fíli paused and stared at his brother. Kíli gave him a wavering smile, "Bilbo wants you to know that he's available whenever you want to talk to him. He won't accept your apology though since there's nothing for you to apologize over.

"Uncle doesn't blame you either." At that, Fíli dropped his gaze to his lap. "Uncle is mad that those Dwarves would have the nerves to approach you the way they did. If anything Uncle is offended for you. He's expelled all those who were bothering you at the party."

"Please tell Uncle I said thanks," Fíli managed to force out over the lump of shame in his throat. He was just proving himself to be a continuing source of disappointment, wasn't he? Again, he had to rely on his uncle to step in and solve his problems because he was too weak to stop the suitors, because he froze like a coward.

He should just keep himself well out of everyone's way until this whole business is well and truly over. He could make himself scarce, maybe hole up at the library and keep Ori company, or maybe he can –

"No."

Fíli blinked out of his haze. "What?" he croaked.

"I said no," Kíli repeated, his brows furrowed and his lips pursed in annoyance. He crossed his arms over his chest. "If you want to say thanks to Uncle Thorin, you can do it yourself once you feel better. Consider it an incentive for you to get you out of bed."

"I –" Fíli paused. He dropped the half-eaten bacon on the plate, and pushed it out of the way, feeling sick to his stomach again. "I don't – I –"

Kíli's expression softened. "You can't stay here forever, Fíli," he said, not unkindly.

"I know," Fíli brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He placed his head on his knees. "I don't know if I can talk to Uncle Thorin."

"Why can't you?"

How could Fíli even begin to explain the numerous ways he had failed then and now?

"All I've done is cause him trouble," Fíli mumbled into his knees. "Every thing that I've tried to do ended up in a disaster."

Like his attempt to keep Kíli safe during the Battle, but he wasn't fast enough, good enough to stop that arrow from piercing into –

The cry of pain jerked his mind away from the fight and he spun around helplessly to find the source of the noise. He turned around just in time to see his brother clutching at the dark arrow shaft protruding from his chest, his face pale and his expression frozen in shock. Red rivulets, thick and cloying, spilled between Kíli's fingers, staining his hand and his chest a vivid scarlet, and Fíli could only stare as the patch of blood beneath his brother's hand bloomed larger and –

Oh Durin, please no – please no, nonono –

"Fíli!" someone screamed his name, before a familiar weight crashed against him –

"I almost got Uncle killed then," Fíli whispered in a horrified hush. He balled his hands together until he could feel his nails dig painfully into the flesh of his palms, and he could see his knuckles turn bone white. "My incompetency almost got us all killed in that battle."

His incompetency as a fighter had left him unscathed while his brother and uncle remained bedridden for months in a dingy healing tent. His incompetency at handling the Suitor Problem had created a mess for the Company, one that his Uncle ultimately had to step in and clean up.

His incompetency as a brother had sparked the fight between Kíli and him, and it had led to his proud noble uncle blaming himself and apologizing to him of all things.

Durin, what good was he to anybody?

He drew in a ragged breath, anything to distract himself from the mortifying stinging sensation in his eyes and the mounting pressure in his chest. "How can I look Uncle in the eye when I can't do anything right? When I've been inconveniencing him with my failure?" He was so tired of being so painfully lacking as a prince, as a nephew, and as a brother.

He was the worst. The absolute worst. And the harder he tried, the worse he achieved, so why should he even bother anymore?

He clenched his eyes shut. "Just go and leave me alone, Kíli."

But Kíli refused to budge. Instead of hearing the sound of retreating footsteps, Fíli felt himself engulfed in a tight bear hug. The rich, warm scent of cinnamon and cloves returned with a vengeance, soothing the bone-deep pain of bitter self-loathing.

"Is this what it's all about? You don't think you're good enough, and you've been blaming yourself for everything?"

Kíli took his silence as an affirmative and cursed under his breath. "Stupid," Fíli would hear Kíli utter as he tightened his grip around the blond, "by Durin's beard, I was so stupid. I got this all wrong."

"Kíli?" he asked in a thick voice.

Kíli drew back, keeping himself at an arms length away from his brother, looking utterly crushed. "Fee, what happened during the battle wasn't your fault! And neither is this whole suitor disaster!"

Fíli shook his head, and looked away. "If only I was better, then you and Uncle wouldn't have gotten hurt in the battle, and –"

"That's horseshit!" Kíli spat out. "We were surrounded and outnumbered. We were lucky to get out of that battle alive! You did everything you could, and Uncle could not have been more proud! If anything, I was the one who was consistently incompetent!"

"What? That's not true!"

"I got shot twice by Orcs." Kíli chuckled, dark and self-mocking and nothing like the bright-eyed youth from the Blue Mountains who wanted nothing more but to travel the world with his brother and uncle. "I held you back during the journey and in the battle. If it weren't for me, you would have gone to Erebor instead of staying behind in Lake-Town. If it weren't for me getting hurt in battle, you wouldn't have gotten distracted and, Durin's Beard, Fíli! You almost got killed because of me!"

"Kíli, I never thought that you were holding me back, not even once," Fíli breathed, wide-eyed. He quickly wiped the corned of his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'd do anything to keep you safe. What kind of a big brother would I be otherwise?"

"I shouldn't need protecting, Fíli! That's the point!" Kíli's face twisted into a grimace as he ran a distracted hand through his mussed hair. "I've been trained for battle since I was little, and I should be able to handle my own fights. Besides, the last thing I want is for you to think that you can throw away your life to protect me from my own shortcomings!" The brunet shook his head and added bitterly, "I can't stand it. I won't stand it!"

Fíli sat in stunned silence as dawning realization started to trickle into his head.

Was this deep-seated feeling of inadequacy haunting his brother as much as it haunted Fíli? Come to think of it – "Is that why you didn't want to be around me anymore? Did you find my presence annoying?" Fíli croaked out. Did Kíli see Fíli's presence as a painful reminder of his own inadequacy?

"What? No! That's not - It's not that I don't want to be around you, Fíli!" Kíli exclaimed, his hands went back to gripping Fíli tightly by the shoulders. "I just – I needed time to sort myself out first, to prove to myself that I can do better. I don't want you or Uncle, or anyone to have to sacrifice themselves for me ever again." Kíli looked away with a grimaced. "I wanted to grow stronger, but I needed to do it on my own terms," he confessed softly.

"So you went to Miss Tauriel," Fíli said evenly despite feeling wounded.

Kíli bit his lips and nodded. "I did. I initially went to Tauriel because she offered to help me improve on my archery. In return, I thought I'd show her Erebor. After getting to know her, I just - I wanted – "

"You grew to like her." The familiar ache in Fíli's chest flared bright hot, enough to burn away the tangled roots of shame that had ensnared his heart, but he forcefully suppressed it down. He was being irrational and now was not the time – "Why didn't you tell us you were looking for help?"

Kíli let go of Fíli with a wince and shrugged helplessly. "I – I didn't want anyone to know that I was getting help," he mumbled. His hands were fiddling nervously with a piece of loose thread on his shirt. "I didn't think anyone would understand. I know how much Uncle doesn't like the Elves."

Kíli dropped his gaze and chuckled mirthlessly. "Uncle is only trying to be civil because of Bilbo, but I know how he really feels and…I don't want him to be disappointed in me. I didn't want anyone else to be disappointed for that matter."

He didn't want Fíli to be disappointed went unsaid, but Fíli knew his brother and he knew what he had really meant.

Fíli knew more than enough about the fear of disappointing people.

"I'm so sorry, Fíli. I'm sorry that it came off like I was avoiding you. I guess I was just so angry at myself that I ended up being such a snit to you, didn't I? I didn't even notice that you were struggling with your own problems, and I left you to deal with the battle and the suitor issues on your own."

Kíli shook his head and added softly, "Some brother I turned out to be."

It would take a stronger person than Fíli to hold on to that last thread of anger.

Fíli's arms flew around his brother and dragged him into a ferocious bear hug as pure unadulterated relief coursed through his veins along with the desperate need to protect, to comfort. He buried his face against Kíli's shoulder, refusing to loosen his hold even when his brother returned the hug in equal fervor.

"'Not your fault. Think nothing of it," he muttered. "For the record, I do not and have not, for one second, think you're weak. You're not a hindrance, Kíli. Far from it."

The irony of this situation was not lost on Fíli either. All this time, Kíli had been pushing him away because he was trying to prove to himself and to Fíli that he could handle his own situation. It was just like how Fíli was trying to prove to Uncle Thorin that he could handle his own problems so that Thorin will never have to get hurt on his behalf again.

How had he not recognized that Kíli's actions were a mirror image of his own was beyond him. He was an idiot.

Scratch that, he thought when his brother latched on to him just as tightly, they were both such idiots.

"Protecting you is not a job, Kee, and I don't do it because I think you're weak," he bit out with conviction. "I do it because I'm selfish and I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Kíli gave a watery chuckle. "How do you think Uncle Thorin and I feel about you, you idiot?"

Later, much later, when the two of them have cleaned up some and were lying side by side in bed, they managed to reach a compromise.

"I promise I will talk to Uncle Thorin," Fíli gave his brother a weak smile.

Kíli levelled him a look. "Because you haven't failed at anything, not as the Crown Prince, as a nephew, or as a brother."

"Because I haven't failed," Fíli dutifully recited with an indulgent smile. "And you promise to stop blaming yourself?"

"Oh, talk about the pot calling the kettle black!" Kíli snorted, but at Fíli's raised brow, he wilted. "Fine, I promise to stop blaming myself. And I promise to talk about my frustrations."

Fíli nodded. "Agreed. And I as well."

They passed a few moments in comfortable silence.

"Kee?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry with the way I responded when you told me about Miss Tauriel." Fíli forced out. The instinctive, familiar bubble of hurt and anger threatened to well up again, but he swiftly pushed the tangled mess of emotions down. "I was just…so frustrated with how much time you were willing to spend with her. It was stupid of me."

He paused and chewed his lips as his thoughts simmered in his head. "I – I can't say I understand why you chose her, and I can't say I like it either," he admitted, slowly, hesitantly, "but for your sake, I will at least try to be more understanding." Even if it felt like a noose was tightening around his heart whenever he saw his brother with the Elf.

"Thank you, Fee." Kíli's lips quirked up in a small, grateful smile. "And I'm sorry for not telling you why I was running off to Durin knows where." His smile turned into a grimace. "I don't think I can apologize for acting less than courteous to Cousin Thorin, though. I just can't stand him for some reason."

For the first time in days, Fíli burst out in genuine laughter, free from the dark thoughts looming in his head.

Even though Kíli had said that nobody blamed him, old habits die hard, and Fíli still took it upon himself to apologize to his friends and to Uncle Thorin. For the most part, they waved it off with a smile before asking how he was doing instead. Dwalin, however, not only refused to hear a word of Fíli's apology, he immediately went down on one knee, his back bowed, and profusely apologised for failing the prince. He only got up when Fíli insisted that no, Dwalin, he was not going to hand out any punishment to him or his men, no he was not demoting anybody, for Durin's sake, stop kneeling and stand up already!

Uncle Thorin had gripped Fíli's shoulders with both of his hands, and scrutinized him from head to toe with anxious eyes. He let go when Fíli seemed well, breathing a soft sigh of relief in the meanwhile.

Cousin Thorin reacted the most differently out of the group when Fíli found him lulling about in the Erebor Gardens one sunny afternoon.

"Apology accepted. I'm glad to hear that you appreciated my bold attempts to act as your meat shield against the flock of my frenzied clansmen." He puffed out his chest a bit. Fíli did not buy the haughty act one bit; he had not missed the genuine look of relief on his cousin's face when he approached the brunet. "I see that you are doing well though, so all's well that ends well."

"I am sorry for making you worry, Thorin," Fíli grinned at his cousin's mild affronted look for daring to call him out on his feelings. "And thank you for bringing me food while I was in my room. That was thoughtful of you."

"Well then. One of us has to act sensibly." Fíli barely hid his smile as he watched a flustered Thorin cough in his fist. "You do realize that this could have all been avoided if you followed my plan from the beginning, yes?"

"What plan?"

Fíli and Thorin both spun around. Kíli was strolling towards them, seemingly in a nonchalant manner if not for the suspicious glare directed at Thorin.

Fíli had forgotten that his brother was lurking about guarding nearby.

"Cousin Kíli! I was wondering when you'd decide to stop hiding from the shadows and join in on our conversation!" Thorin greeted jovially.

"I was doing my duty by guarding my brother, Cousin Thorin." Kíli made his way beside Fíli and gave a stiff nod to the other dark haired Dwarf. The smile he gave Fíli was much warmer. "Now, what was this plan that you wanted my brother to follow?" he asked with a dangerous glint to his eyes.

If Thorin was bothered by Kíli's presence, he did not show it. "When I first met Cousin Fíli, I have presented to him some plans that were meant to control the frenzied behaviour of the Dwarves – "

"Wait, what do you mean by 'when I first met Fíli?'" Kíli interrupted sharply. "Does that mean you knew about this suitor business all along?"

Thorin paused, visibly caught off guard by Kíli's quick uptake of the situation. "I did, yes," he finally admitted.

Kíli's expression darkened. "Then why on Middle-Earth did you – "

"Kíli, it's true that Thorin warned me about the suitors, but it's not his fault," Fíli interjected before Kíli's anger could boil over. Thorin had already taken a half step back, no doubt reacting to his instinct to save his own skin. "I was the one who chose not to listen at the time. He tried to warn me on several occasions, in fact. It's not his fault that I was being stubborn." He placed a placating hand on Kíli's tense shoulder, just in case.

"Besides, the plans sounded like they were lifted out of romance novels. They would not have worked," Fíli added with a smirk.

"Maybe to those who lack imagination," Thorin responded glibly. He turned back to the archer. "To answer your question, Cousin Kíli, I had come up with a two-part plan. The first part involved some…delicate manoeuvring."

"What does that mean?" Kíli scowled.

Fíli sighed. Kíli was not going to like this. "He suggested that I flit around from Dwarf to Dwarf, lavishing my attention on as many different people as possible."

"So that they would perceive each other as competitors and turn their attention towards each other in their blind fit of jealousy," Thorin justified just as Kíli opened his mouth to protest.

"Which is a terrible plan," Fíli pinched the bridge of his nose. "First of all, I don't flit. I don't like to make small talk – "

"But certainly, you can – "

"Secondly," Fíli added forcefully with a grimace, "I do not like to manipulate people like that, or give them a sense of false hope. This all seems unnecessarily cruel and I will not be purposely cruel to serve my own needs."

Thorin sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "And herein lies the problem, Cousin Fíli. You are honourable while your opponents are not. Sometimes, a little bit of craftiness goes a long way."

"You said that there were two parts to this plan," Kíli cut in, frowning. "What's the second bit?"

Thorin gave a mean little chuckle. "Why, the second part of my plan involves holding a massive tournament where the now desperate and frenzied suitors have to fight each other for a chance to court Cousin Fíli. With any luck, they would take care of themselves." The smile on Thorin's face turned positively evil. "The last Dwarf standing gets to fight King Thorin."

There was a moment of silence.

"Huh."

Scowling, Fíli whirled around to face his brother. "Kíli, no."

"It's not a bad idea, Fee," Kíli said grudgingly. "I'm not too sure about that first part of the plan, but that second one could work. Uncle Thorin would probably be more than willing to fight those Dwarves. He would probably enjoy the process too."

"I am not asking the King to fight for me like I'm some maiden whose honour needed defending," Fíli said flatly. "Also, need I remind you that this plan is highly risky, and I am not comfortable with it?"

"In order to succeed, one must take some risks. Not like any of this matters now though." Thorin shrugged. "Cousin Fíli has opted not to follow the plan. It's a bit late to throw a tournament, now that the remaining suitors have learned to act with caution to avoid raising the king's ire. Nobody would be insane nor reckless enough to challenge each other in open combat for the prince's affection."

"Thank Mahal for small mercies," Fíli breathed. "At least we'll finally get some peace and quiet around here."

Thorin gave him a wry smile.

"So I trust that you finally resolved your fight with your brother?" Cousin Thorin asked Fíli later at dinner. They were seated beside each other at the high table in their usual spots, surrounded by a plethora of roasts, sausages, and other meat dishes. Cousin Thorin was dressed as fashionably as always with his russet tunic, dark leggings, and boots made from Mûmakil hide. "You look considerably less miserable than usual. Not to mention, Cousin Kíli's mood has brightened as well. He seemed to have eased off the death glare aimed at me." He popped a piece of steak in his mouth and hummed at the flavour before adding, "It's refreshing not to feel such hateful intent directed at my back for once."

Fíli peered at his brother, and sure enough, Kíli was speaking animatedly to a bemused Bilbo with his back turned towards them. "We made amends." he answered with a shrug. He went back to his meal, slowly cutting up his own steak in bite sized chunks. "And Kíli's not that bad. He's just being protective is all." At least, Fíli was fairly certain that Kíli did not hate Cousin Thorin per se. "Besides, if you hadn't insulted me so brazenly when we first met, Kíli would have treated you with far less suspicion and ire."

"I did not insult you!" Thorin said, affronted. "I gave you a compliment! I said that you reminded me of a majestic, golden lion!"

"You said you were expecting more majesty from me, but instead, you got 'a sulking Dwarf throwing wistful doe-eyed looks at the Elves.'" Fíli retorted as dry as the desert between bites of his food. "Then, you proceeded to rattle off the names of my stalkers, laugh at my face, and disappear into the crowd with a final 'Good day!' and more mocking laughter."

"I'll have you know that that wasn't meant to be mockery. I was simply saying hello while giving you some friendly advice." Thorin sniffed. "This is what we do in the Iron Hills. Had I known that Erebor Dwarves were so sensitive, I would have approached you with more formality. Besides, I apologized for starting off on the wrong foot!"

Fíli rolled his eyes. "In any case, now you understand why my brother was reacting the way he did."

Thorin hummed. "Nope, I don't believe that is the sole reason for his reaction," he disagreed breezily, his bad mood seemingly having dissipated like vapor. "I believe his dislike for me runs much deeper than that."

"And you have no intention of telling me what you think, do you?" Fíli sighed, because of course, he won't.

"Of course not!" Thorin parroted his thoughts with a toothy, shit-eating grin. "Now where would the fun be in that?"

Fíli must have spent too much time with the little bastard because he felt nothing but warm fondness spreading in his chest from that response. He supposed his cousin will tell him if it was anything important. "Anyway." he shook his head. "I owe you my thanks for, as you said, 'acting as my meat shield against your frenzied clansmen.' I hope I haven't caused you too much trouble with them."

Thorin waved his hand dismissively as he polished off the last of his meal. "Oh, there's the usual grumbling but it's nothing that I can't manage. Do not spare another thought for that. But if you must find a way to thank me, I don't suppose you can recommend more things for me to do than to frolic in the gardens or to swing a sword in the training yard? I find myself oddly bereft of entertainment."

"When you asked me for recommendations, I did not expect to be dragged to the library." Fíli nimbly sidestepped a tower of books, ones that Ori and the librarians had not yet sorted, and doggedly followed his cousin's brisk pace past the numerous shelves. "Again, why do you need me here for this?"

Thorin abruptly stopped and spun around, "Because you are as bored as I am and are itching for something to do," he answered, tone dry and matter-of-fact. "More importantly, I just remembered that your literary knowledge is lacking, so I have made it my goal to rectify that. Now, where do you suppose we can find the works by Farin, son of Fundin, son of Floi?"

Fíli groaned, but gestured to the shelf to his right. He had spent enough time with Ori, (and had heard enough of his friend's rants about proper record keeping and storage), to know how the library was organized. "I am not reading romance novels, Thorin, no matter how much you swear by them."

Sniffing, Thorin strolled to the shelf and began browsing. "They are a literary classic," he replied mulishly. "I also refuse to have another one-sided conversation about the literary arts with you."

Fíli rolled his eyes. "I find it hard to believe that you have not found other like-minded individuals who share your passion. Talk to them instead!"

"While you are correct in your assumption, I grow bored of their presence and their insipid conversation," Thorin said dismissively. "Ah ha! Found it!" He pulled a slim, brown leather-bound tome from the organized row of texts and presented to Fíli with flourish. "We can start with this. It is short and simple to digest."

Fíli eyed the book with suspicion but tentatively grabbed it from his cousin. "You are sounding an awful lot like Balin, and no, that was not a compliment. Are we finished here?"

"Of course not, I have drafted a list of texts we must retrieve." At Fíli's pained groaning, he pressed his lips into a thin, displeased line, and stalked to the next aisle. "Patience is a virtue, Cousin mine," he uttered.

From the corner of his eyes, Fíli could see his guards slouching a few feet away to provide his cousin and him some privacy. One of them fought valiantly to stifle a yawn.

Fíli could relate almost too painfully. Aside from a few people mulling about, the library was dead quiet. Even Ori was not present that day.

"Where is Cousin Kíli, by the way? I haven't caught sight of him amongst your guards."

Fíli blinked back into attention, and shifted from his spot, looking away from Thorin. "He is – uh – busy today," with Tauriel, "and I did not wish to impose on him any further than I did these past few days." He promised to be more supportive of his brother's courting attempt, he promised to try. Whether or not he hated the idea was irrelevant. "I thought he should have some time to himself." He respected his brother's wishes, but Durin, for his own peace of mind and for the sake of maintaining the peace with his brother, he hoped he would not see Kíli with the Elf.

Thorin waved at Fíli to follow. "Would it have anything to do with Miss Tauriel was it?" the brunet asked under his breath once Fíli was beside him. "I have seen the two together frequently. Not to mention, the two of them were together during that – ah – Garden fiasco."

Fíli hunched into himself and mumbled, "Yes, he is spending time with her."

A brief, uncomfortable silence stretched between them as Thorin skimmed through the titles on the shelf. Then, "I can imagine your discomfort," Thorin said, quiet and sympathetic, "After all, it is most…unorthodox for a Dwarf and an Elf to be as…close as they are."

Fíli sighed. Of course, Thorin would have seen the nature of Kíli and Tauriel's relationship as it truly was. His cousin was too clever for his own good. "I am trying to adjust to the idea," Fíli said instead. "I promised that I would be more understanding and I intend to honor my words."

Thorin nudged his shoulder and gave him a warm, broad grin. "I would not expect any less. You are as kind as you are majestic, Prince Golden Lion."

Fíli felt his cheeks warm. "Be quiet, you," he hissed out. His flush and his scowl deepened at his cousin's muffled laughter. "One day, I will decree a ban on using that stupid nickname."

"Then we will simply have to be more creative," his cousin snickered, his attention back on the shelves. "Ah, found another one!" He bent down, pulled out a red tome, and handed to Fíli. "Anyway, I am merely surprised by his willingness to part from your side, especially with how he disapproves of my association with you. I thought supper was a fluke."

"He is trying to adjust to your presence around me. Lay off of him," Fíli groused. He grabbed yet another book from Thorin's hand and add it to the growing collection in his arms. "Besides, this arrangement only bodes well for you. As you have said, no more heated glares behind your back."

Thorin turned and threw a saucy wink at the blond. "And I get all the opportunities to spend more quality time with my lovely cousin. What fun!"

The heat on Fíli's face came back with a vengeance. "Lovely?!"

Thorin's grin turned wolfish. "Oh yes, my lovely Prince Charming." At Fíli's full-bodied cringe, he stuffed his fist in his mouth to muffle his snort of laughter. "No?" he added, his voice quivering, "How about the Lion of Erebor?"

"Please stop."

"Prince Lion of Erebor?"

"Now you are just being lazy."

"Wait, I think I got it – Golden Prince Lion of Erebor the Charming!"

"And I am walking away now," Fíli deposited the books on the floor and stalked away from the sound of more poorly concealed laughter. "Lest I catch whatever madness that is plaguing you."

"While you are running away, please look for Sanâzyung by Borin, son of Balin, son of Dwalin!"

Despite the grumbling under his breath, Fíli dutifully dragged himself to the appropriate section of the library, bypassing a few sleepy-looking librarians on the way. "Sanâzyung," he repeated to himself. He paused and ran his fingers lightly along the spines of the books. "Sana – sana – by Borin – and nope, it's not here." Fíli wiped the dust from his fingers on his tunic. He could ask one of the librarians to check for him but he'd risk them actually finding the damned thing.

Some things should remain hidden.

"Ah well," he muttered dryly to himself. He tried. Effort was expended. "What a damn shame –"

" – utterly disgraceful, that Thorin Stonehelm!"

Fíli paused.

"I heard that –" the harsh whispering lowered. Fíli stepped closer to the shelf. " – defended the – " more inaudible whispering, " – betraying his own – definitely uninvited!"

Slowly, Fíli parted the books until he could peer through the space between them. He could barely make out the three Iron Hills Dwarves clustered together in the next aisle. Their neatly coiffed heads were bent towards each other, deep in conversation.

"He wasn't wrong to defend the prince given that they are cousins," the Dwarf whose back was closest to Fíli muttered.

"No, but he burned many bridges that day," a second Dwarf retorted in a nasally high voice. "You should have heard what Lady Gunnold had to say. She swore up and down that Stonehelm cost her the chance at marrying the Dwarf of her dreams. She's practically baying for blood."

"Who cares what she wants?" the third Dwarf scoffed. "The King practically threw her out on her arse!"

"She's not the only who's holding a grudge though," the second Dwarf retorted, "I reckon Lord Dain will be getting an earful from his courtiers once they trek back to the Iron Hills if he hasn't already heard about what went on."

The first Dwarf shook his head. "I'm not envious of Stonehelm."

"Aye. He's certainly fallen out of favour, even with those who were not expelled from Erebor."

Fíli backed away until he could no longer hear the conversation, until he was up against the shelf behind him, but he barely registered it with the thoughts swirling in his head and an unsettling feeling in his gut.

Just how much did he cost his cousin?

[AN] I AM BACK! Thank you to those who are still hanging around to read this fic. I honestly was not expecting this fic to be this complex when I first conceived the idea behind it but it seemed to have run away from me. Regardless, I intend to finish writing Of Risks and Rewards.

I am more than relieved that we're approaching what I hope to be the final arc to this story. At the very least, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that Fili and Kili have stopped being little shits to each other.

As always, your comments are greatly appreciated and they serve as a motivating force for me to write. Thank you in advance for reading and for reviewing.

[1] Mûmakil hide - hide from an Oliphaunt. In my head canon, I imagine Cousin Thorin to enjoy leather made from the skin of more exotic animals. He can be vain like that.

[2] Sanâzyung - roughly translated as perfect or pure or true love. Courtesy of writer6608 on tumblr for the definition. I thought this to be an appropriately cheesy name for one of the novels that Thorin was so fond of reading. Fili was less than enthused by the title, let alone at the prospect of having to read the actual literary work. Hence, the zero fucks that he gave while looking for the book, haha.

[3] Cousin Thorin intentionally dragged Fili to the library when it was quiet. This was done out of consideration for Fili's recovery from the party fiasco. He figured that the last thing Fili wanted was to face a crowd.

[4] Ori was away because he was having his afternoon tea with Dori. He was trying to test the water and see how Dori would react at the idea of him courting Dwalin. Little did Ori know, Dori and Nori made a bet with each other as to when Ori would finally 'fess up about his less than subtle crush on the warrior Dwarf.

Dori won the bet. Nori thought Ori would confess a month later. He underestimated his little brother's tenacity.