"Ugh…" Gorou groaned, slumping in his office chair. The maximum comfort chair he'd long since replaced the dead-standard model with did nothing to ease his grief, sorrow, and despair.

Just what had he been thinking, sprouting all those lines yesterday? No, it was clear he hadn't been thinking at all. One troubled look on his favorite idol's face, and his professionalism had crumbled like a stack of cards in a washing machine.

And as for her reaction afterward…

Ai smiled awkwardly at him, waving the patient information paper. 'Thank you for your kind words, doctor, but I would no longer like to see the name Amamiya here anymore. Your efforts to console me, after putting me on the spot in the first place… How do I put it…

How cute?'

He gently slipped off his glasses and set them aside. He then gripped his hair and slammed his face into his desk to muffle his screams.

"AHHH-!"

The door slammed open, startling him up, and he nearly jabbed his eyes while putting on his glasses in his rush. A familiar nurse came into focus, her brown eyes duller than usual. "Dr. Amamiya, Ms. Hoshino kindly requests for you to stop sulking and go talk to her already."

He perked up. "Really?!" Ai still wanted to talk with him-

"No," she growled, slamming down the stack of papers of patients they had for the afternoon. He deflated and robotically started to process them into their database while she continued to rip into him. "It would be very uncharacteristically rude of her to do so, though, wouldn't it? Almost as rude as your continued whining."

Damn, he had walked right into that. "Sorry, it's just-"

"-a die-hard fan acted like a die-hard fan in front of his favorite idol, forever cementing the die-hard fan as a die-hard fan within his favorite idol's mind," she fixed him with a glare, before moving to her own pile of paperwork. "Yes, you've mentioned it before. Several times throughout the morning, in fact."

"Right. Sorry."

For a while, they worked silently. The pile of papers shrunk rapidly, and Gorou mentally tallied up how much work this would turn out to be.

Quite a bit, actually. The next few weeks were going to be busy.

In the end, the silence was broken by a sigh. The usually chatty nurse stretched, pushing back on her own comfortable chair – she'd soon replaced her own when she saw that he wasn't getting reprimanded for it. "Why does yesterday weigh on your mind so much? I thought you were fine with your idol-fan reputation."

"I am, though?" He turned to her, genuinely confused. "Ai is my favorite, and I am proud of that. The world would be a better place if everyone knew about Ai, and I'm doing my part in making it a reality."

"So, it's because you embarrassed yourself in front of your favorite," she surmised. "Also, please fix your perception of reality."

Gorou mused over her words – the important bit, not the blasphemy against Ai. "…I think I wanted to show Ms. Hoshino the professional side of me rather than the fan."

And yeah, maybe he was a bit disappointed in himself with how quickly that had fallen apart just because of the first comment he'd seen in the official post.

Damn, Ai got replaced fast. RIP.

When he checked later, the comment had already been flamed into nonexistence, where it rightfully belonged. But that didn't change his initial reaction, did it? He'd rushed over to Ai, prodded her to talk about what was obviously a sour point, and tried to comfort her the moment he saw her open up.

Wasn't that exactly what an ordinary fan would do? Hadn't he promised to be her doctor, first and foremost?

"If it comforts you, I believe any notion of your professionalism should have been lost the moment I went through all of your various attempts of proselytizing our patients into becoming her fans," the nurse offered.

He sighed. "Thank you for that, Nurse Chatty."

"It was a pleasure, Dr. Go-Go-B-Komachi. But you're missing my point." She stood up, gathering her papers quickly and efficiently. "Ms. Hoshino already knew that – and for some reason I cannot understand, she still views you with respect. So, talk it out with her rather than stewing over it all day."

"Right. Thank you-"

"And if I hear you screaming into your desk one more time, I will personally drag you up to her room so that you can explain to Ms. Hoshino."

"…right. Got it."

With one last nod, she swept out of the room.

Gorou leaned back into his chair, lost in thought. Scary one, that nurse.

But her advice seemed like a good idea.

-o-

Ai nodded solemnly. "I accept your apology, doctor."

Gorou sighed in equal parts relief and wonder. As expected of Ai, the genius, perfect idol – to be able to understand his heart despite not having said anything-!

"Why are you apologizing, though?" He looked up from his bow and was met with her eyes brimming with curiosity. In the privacy of her room, her false glasses lay by her bedside table and her long hair was unbound. Right now, her face really was that of the idol he had cheered for several years. "You just said hello, then immediately started apologizing. I don't really get it."

...yep, the world would never be that simple, would it?

He smiled weakly, gesturing to himself. "I've behaved in an unprofessional manner, one ill-suited for a doctor yesterday," he said, doing his very best to ignore the existence of the chair next to him. "Please, tell me if I'm overstepping my boundaries. You are under no obligations to answer any of my personal questions – no, you are under no obligations to even accept my visits."

She put a hand to her chin, considering his words only for a moment. "But I do want this, doctor. There's not much to do in my room and your visits are always fun. Yesterday was nice, too."

"It was…?" he couldn't help but question her words. Sure, his heart skipped a beat when she said it with her usual sweet smile – but they sounded too good to be true. And the idea that he was making her uncomfortable but forcing her to hide it…

He really would hate himself if that was the case.

Gorou forced his uncooperative thoughts out. "…people normally wouldn't enjoy being badgered into revealing something they've kept hidden."

Ai's lips twitched as if she was holding back a laugh. 'Well, I'm not normal, doctor. I'm the perfect, genius idol, haven't you heard?"

"Doesn't that make things worse? As your doctor, I should be wholly invested in your health and the birth of your children. Nothing more, nothing less. As your fan…" he swallowed. "I want to know what you ate today."

She blinked, her expression silently asking if that was it. He forced himself to continue before he lost his nerve.

"I also want to know if you read the comments about yourself as you browse, and what catches your eye if you do. If you wanted to do something outside the hospital today, and if I could help you with it. I want to ask about if you drink coffee, what your go-to drink is, what your favorite song is, and what your favorite book is. I want to talk about how your nurse reprimanded me for being too loud with my embarrassment over yesterday, and conspire together with how to get her to become your fan."

"I…" Gorou sighed, looking back at his favorite idol with a weak smile. "As your fan, I can't help but want to know more about you. Far, far more than what a doctor should."

There. He truly believed his view as both a doctor and a fan aligned – both wanted nothing more than to help Ai achieve her happiness. He'd been so sure that he'd be able to compartmentalize his feelings and keep things professional. That was what he had in mind as he'd made his deal with the nurse.

But every time they've interacted so far, he'd managed to lose his composure as a doctor so easily. When Ai was teasing out personal answers about him with a smile. When Ai had looked so hesitant with admitting she wasn't happy with losing her center position.

Once was happenstance, twice was a pattern. He now had no faith in himself in preventing a third occasion.

Selfishly asking for more and more from the idol – wasn't that just the actions of an overeager fan excited to have met their favorite?

At some point, while he was talking, Ai had adopted a thinking position with one hand on her chin. The other had been gently making circles around her baby bump, and he stiffened when her movements slowed to a stop.

Finally, she spoke – she had titled forwards, her bangs hiding her eyes from his view. "This really is something important for you. It's been on your mind a lot, huh."

"…yes."

She silently slid off her bed and stood in front of him. "Doctor, I think I understand the issue, now. And I would like to make this clear."

With a grace honed through her years of stardom, Ai pointed dramatically at him. The hospital lights reflected off her eyes seemed to bloom into something more dazzling, as she declared-

"I can't accept your apology, because there's nothing for you to apologize for!"

Gorou could only stare as she once again smiled so radiantly.

Ah. This was the face that first caught his attention, wasn't it? So all-consumingly confident, it demanded him to keep his eyes on her and only her.

"It wasn't because I had a checkup you visited every night," she continued. "You were visiting because you were a fan. Being an idol is a part of who I am, and being a fan is a part of who you are."

That broke him out of his trance. "Then that just makes it worse, doesn't it? I'm doing a terrible job keeping my business and personal lives separate."

"Maybe, if it wasn't for the fact that I enjoyed your visits. Or are you saying you would have preferred meeting me just once every two weeks while being as emotional as a rock? How cruel of you, doctor, to leave me with nothing but my phones and an old television." Ai huffed, pouting in exasperation. "No, I'm not a normal patient, and you're not a normal doctor. Trying to ignore all that doesn't make sense."

She spun around gracefully, never once in danger of losing her balance. When he could see her face again, she was back to her dazzling smile. "So, the idol me says to the fan you: 'Thank you for your promise that night.' Feel free to ask me what I like and what I don't like. Tell me more about your work, and tell me more about the nurse. Talk about anything that comes to your mind, whether it's something silly or if it's something serious. After all, it's not just you as the doctor that made your promise – you as the fan made it together.

"So, don't force yourself to see me as only as your patient, doctor. I really, truly prefer it if you were to relax around me."

Even as she implored for it, Gorou hesitated. This went against everything that had been hammered into him about professionalism. Was it really that simple? Was it really fine, to treat a patient of his so casually-?

'Doctor, I love you! Marry me!'

'I rather not commit social suicide, thanks.'

Ah. Was that why?

He closed his eyes, his mind flashing back to another young girl. One who had also chipped away at his professionalism with idols and songs, day by day, and someone he had grown closer to in return. Enjoying the breeze together on the rooftop, arguing whether Ai or Meimei was the better dancer, singing B-Komachi songs together in her room, and being reprimanded for their rowdiness while they covered for each other.

Losing her had led him to depression. Seeing her so still after her last breath, her eyes closing for one last time with no one but him to comfort her in her final moments. The memory had led him to drinking. It led to dark nights where he wondered if being a doctor meant anything, if his life had any purpose at all.

But before that, hadn't he been the happiest he'd been in his life? Wasn't he still glad to have met her? Hadn't he promised to watch over the future of the girl she had dreamed of?

…Sarina, you would have made an excellent idol. Your favorite is so similar to you, after all.

He reopened his eyes and smiled. "Fine. You win – But! If you feel uncomfortable at any moment, or if you want space and time alone, you'll have to let me know immediately."

Ai smiled without a care, letting herself drop back on her bed. "Of course, I can promise that. And in turn, if you start avoiding me, I'll have the nurse drag you up here. I'm sure she'll enjoy helping me!"

"…right," Gorou laughed, and he'll forever deny that there was a nervous tinge to it. Because the nurse would absolutely drag him around by the ear if she was asked to. "I'll make sure to visit enough times so that it doesn't get to that point, then."

"Make sure that you do!"

-o-

Ai hummed happily as she browsed on her phone, her nightly scrolling before her sleep. She was already lying on her side, hugging the strange bed pillow-cushion thing that supported her babies. The lights were out, and the room was illuminated only by the light of her phone. However, her mind couldn't have been any less focused on the text in front of her now. And why wouldn't she be happy?

She'd been able to help the doctor come to terms with himself – that he was both a fan and a doctor, and that was fine. Just like she'd been helped in the past, when prez helped her come to terms with how she was both a liar and an idol, and that was fine.

This warm, fuzzy feeling that made her feel like she'd helped someone… She wondered if prez had felt the same way when he tried her best to convince her to become an idol. If the doctor felt the same way every time a patient thanked him.

Also… In his own, moral way, the doctor had also lied for love. As a fan of her, he loved her, the way all her fans did. He thought it wasn't proper for a doctor to show it, and so he had tried hiding away the bits he thought to be unpleasant. Whenever he had brought up switching himself out for another doctor, he must have been trying to hide his true feelings – that he didn't want to as well – to the best of his ability.

It's just that he was so bad at lying, she hadn't even realized he'd been attempting to hide it. It wasn't that the doctor wanted to run away from her – he'd genuinely thought he was obligated to do so.

Really, her doctor was such a moralist. She pouted to herself for missing that.

'Presenting the you that you thought I would prefer – isn't that because of your love for me? Feeling bad because you revealed the truth about yourself – isn't that also because of your love?'

That's what she would have said if he hadn't finally accepted her words as the truth it really was. Oh well, maybe next time.

She let the phone turn off and drop, mind still buzzing.

Someone who could still be her fan despite knowing her pregnancy, her lies, her truth…

Well, Ai Hoshino was a greedy girl. Was it a surprise that she wanted to know more about her doctor in turn?

AN: And with that, the first pivotal point of this fic. Did you catch the "Idol" reference? Go listen to it if you didn't, and if you did, go listen to it anyway. Such a great song.

The premise of this 'arc' (ha I wish my plans were that structured) was that words are cheap, thoughts are cheaper, and Gorou knew that. 'The fan and the doctor's view had aligned,' he might be able to think – but would he have been able to put that into practice immediately?

Ai had been quicker to put her decision to trust into action due to having struggled with her stance on lying for years, but Gorou was still struggling with being both a fan and a doctor for his favorite idol. Now, having cleared the air, they could go beyond a regular patient/doctor relationship without Gorou's morals forcing him to keep stepping back. Things will speed up in terms of plot now, ever so slightly.

…all these mental gymnastics just so I can justify more casual fluff between Ai and Gorou! Hopefully, this aligns with your understanding of the chapter. Let me know what you think of it!