AN1 2old, Chuck wasn't lying over the car. That was just me forgetting what actually happened to the Porsche. It's been a few years since I last watched Chuck because I can't bear how it ends and I can't even imagine or cancel out that the last two episodes didn't happen, because they did. Anyway, I corrected it as soon as it was noted to me. At least I think I have? Amy blew up the Porsche and Sarah had to buy a new car as a result, which was the Lotus.
AN2 I make no apologies for my jibe at Fedak last chapter. Chuck for me was the most perfect show I've ever watched (despite its many flaws) right up until the bullet train. I even loved Season 5. I loved absolutely every bit of it. It was one of my favorite seasons (because Charah's relationship was the best it had ever been) up until the bullet train and the carriages departed from each other. The final two episodes killed Chuck for me. I can't stomach to rewatch it any more. Let me be clear: if Chuck got a better ending than the one that we got, it would be ranked number 1 as my all time favorite show for the rest of my life. But because of the ending, it's probably not even in my top 50 any more. I can't and won't ever recommend Chuck to any of my friends. Because they don't deserve to go through the heartbreak in the way that it ended. When I watched Chuck vs Sarah and Chuck vs Goodbye I was depressed for three full weeks and I had no appetite to eat. I felt dead inside. That's how much that disgraceful memory loss ending affected me. And it's why I can no longer stomach to watch the show, 'cause I just think of the ending.
AN3 I bought my first TV Series in a while. I purchased The Handmaid's Tale. I also watched The Bodyguard and I'm now binge-watching Designated Survivor. I am a massive Kiefer Sutherland fan and I am really liking Designated Survivor. It's a mix of everything really. It has a little bit of The West Wing as well as Homeland with the Brody elements (I've not seen House of Cards so I can't compare it to that). I'm on a roll for watching shows right now. Might go for Jack Ryan next.
Word Count for this Chapter: 10,142
All Roads Lead Back Home
Chapter Four
Three days since the beach
"Goodbye, Molly. It was so nice to get to meet you and to spend time with you again," Sarah says as she affectionately shakes her adopted sister's hand from where she is bent down to her sister's level to say goodbye to her.
"It was nice to see you too. I will miss you, Sarah," Molly declares with a loving smile.
Sarah feels her eyes gloss on hearing her adopted sister's declarations who she can still picture as a baby that she rescued all those years ago.
"I will miss you too. But I will still see you lots and lots. I will come and visit you again, maybe even with Chuck. And you can come and visit us any time you want as long as mom agrees," Sarah says with a loving smile.
Molly turns to her mother on hearing Sarah's words.
"Yay! Can we go and see them, Mom?" Molly asks expectantly.
"Of course we will sweetheart," Emma says reassuringly to her young daughter. "Why don't you go and find Rex while I have a grown up conversation with your sister and I'll join you in a few minutes."
"Ok!" Molly says excitedly. "Bye, Sarah!"
"Goodbye, Molly," Sarah says lovingly.
Molly and Sarah then smile affectionately at each other a final time, before Molly turns and heads off to find her stuffed dog somewhere inside of her home.
On Molly departing, Sarah and Emma begin to gaze at each other with loving smiles formed on their faces.
"Thank you, Mom. You are raising her so well. You didn't have to make this commitment all those years ago," Sarah states proudly with immense respect for what her mother has done for the young baby she saved all those years ago which is still one of the proudest and best decisions of her life that she has ever made.
"It was my redemption for not giving you the life that I wanted for you, Samantha."
"Mom…" Sarah protests on hearing her mother call her by her birth name.
"I know, you're Sarah now. I just wanted to call you by your birth name one final time."
The mother and daughter then move to embrace together for a long moment of endearment.
"Chuck told me you're safe when I was at the beach with him. So I can call you a lot now," Sarah says on pulling back from the embrace with her mother.
"Yes, you can. You have called me several dozen times already. Molly and me have been safe for a few months now," Emma refreshes her daughter's lost memories.
Sarah nods her head on hearing her mother's words.
"And I'm so sorry for what has happened to you and to Chuck," Emma says compassionately.
"Mom, it's ok. I will get my memories back. I won't let Quinn the guy who did this to me and the CIA take my life away from me. I have given it so much."
"Yes, you have, sweetheart," Emma agrees wholeheartedly with her daughter's declarations.
"Thank you, Mom. For helping me to realize how I feel about him."
A huge smile forms on Emma's face. "Go and get your husband back. And don't stop fighting until you do. And tell him I can't wait to see him again."
Sarah nods her head. "We'll arrange something just as soon as things become a bit more clear between us."
"Ok, darling. And you will always have a home here for you if things don't work out. But your home is not here, is it?" she asks although she already knows the answer to the rhetorical question.
Sarah shakes her head no. "No. He is my home. My head tells me he's a stranger and that I should run away from commitment because I can't remember him right now. But my heart tells me he is my husband and that I would be making the biggest mistake of my life in running away from him. I probably won't be able to tell him this for quite a while. But I will give it a chance. Because even though I don't remember him, I married him. I made a commitment to him and I gave myself to him. I can't just cop out of that commitment now. Losing my memory is not a valid excuse to abandon and to run away from a life that everybody is telling me I was content with."
"No, it's not," Emma agrees emotionally as hearing her daughter's words to her causes her emotions to pour out of her.
"Mom, don't cry," Sarah says comfortingly.
"I'm sorry, I just," Emma pauses as she fills up with pride. "I have never been more proud of you than I am right now."
"I love you, Mom," Sarah declares with an adoring smile.
"And I love you too. More than I can ever begin to tell you," Emma declares powerfully.
"I should go now, Mom. The drive will take a few hours and it's late afternoon already."
"Yes you should. Goodbye, Sarah."
"Bye, Mom," Sarah responds as she smiles at her mother a final time, before turning and departing down the pathway of her mother's home to head to her car that will take her back to attempt to rebuild her life with her husband who she can remember so little about…
Echo Park
"Chuck, we should prepare something romantic for when Sarah gets back man," Morgan suggests excitedly as he attempts to divert the conversation away from talking about the future of Carmichael Industries to talking about plans for Chuck and Sarah's reunion instead for the third time today.
"Morgan, I know my wife. She doesn't like surprises and she wouldn't take well to it if I was to do it so the answer is no," Chuck replies dismissively to his best friend's idea.
"Chuck, I think it's the perfect opportunity," Morgan tries to argue back once more.
"Morgan, can we please stop with the fairytales? I love you man but please stop," Chuck pauses to laugh. "I am going to go at the pace that Sarah wants to go at so there's not going to be any kind of romantic dinner nor an apartment filled with candles nor anything else waiting for her. Sarah is coming back to me by her own free will so let's drop my love life as a topic of debate and carry on with the Carmichael Industries debate which is the only reason you're here right now because otherwise, you're going home..."
Several hours later
Sarah has just arrived at the apartment complex that situates where she has spent the past few years of her life. Sarah would give anything right now to be able to have her memories back and to be able to enter into an apartment she has lived inside for several years and to be able to remember her husband. Sarah is back here right now on her instinct and her trust alone. She cannot ever recall feeling more scared than at this exact moment. The prospect of commitment frightens and terrifies Sarah and Chuck's deep sincerity that he has displayed is the only thing that has stopped her from taking a one way flight to an unknown destination and finding herself once more in other ways. But there is just something inside of Sarah's heart that is screaming at her to come back to him, to trust him and to give him a chance to show her that her life is with him, as it was when she married him however long ago that she did.
And on that basis, she sighs deeply to herself before exiting her car and she begins to walk through the gate and towards the fountain that feels so familiar and important to her. Sarah has probably shared countless powerful conversations with her husband and with her friends at this very same spot. She pauses in deep thought, willing herself to remember something, anything of her life that she has so very little recollection of these past five missing years. Sarah has a grand total of two memories of five years of her life. She also remembers small things that mean or make very little sense to her. Things like Irene Demova, the beach, the Buy More bell, apple fruit juice, an impaled alarm clock and sizzling shrimp. She's sure that there's a meaning to it all. She just can't recall what.
Continuing further past the fountain, Sarah takes a moment in pause at the door to the apartment, Their apartment.
The prospect of deep commitment once more petrifies her and a brief moment of panic erupts inside of her mind that screams to her to run back to her car and to take off and to flee far, far away from this level of commitment that will take place beyond this door.
It's just another mission, Sarah. You can do this. You like him. He's different.
Breathing in a deep sigh to try and control the sudden rush of anxiety spreading through her, she quickly knocks on the door before any further strong thoughts of running away and fleeing develops inside of her.
Sarah waits in pause for a few moments, until she hears activity on the other side of the closed door and the door then begins to open.
Her husband who she cannot remember but wants to then appears in view and the door continues to open until it can go no further. She watches as a wide grin begins to form onto her husband's face. And she smiles right back at him. It has only been a few days since she last seen him, but god how she's missed that beautiful, loving face that she unfairly cannot recall.
"Hi," he greets her with his wide loving grin.
"Hey," she replies back to him with her bright, loving smile.
She's caught in two minds as to whether she should hug him or not right now. She wants to. But she's feeling more nervous than she can ever remember feeling.
She then watches as he moves in motion towards her, and she quickly meets him half way as the husband and wife embrace together for quite possibly the thousandth time though she only has memory of just a few of those embraces, and all of them recently. She feels his arms wrap around her, and she wraps her own arms around him, with her hands making their way up his back and landing onto his shoulders.
The embrace continues to last for a short while until they begin to pull apart from it.
"I missed you," he says on pulling back from the embrace with a warm, inviting smile still present as he gazes right at her.
"I," she pauses. "Me too."
A brief silence of anxiousness ensues as they gaze at each other in silence.
Thankfully to both Chuck and Sarah, Morgan then appears and joins the husband and wife as he stands at the doorway to their apartment just behind Chuck.
"Hey, Sarah," Morgan greets his best friend's wife and interrupts the silence.
"Hi, Morgan," she greets her husband's friend with a smile.
"I'm gonna head back to Alex now and give you two the privacy that you need," Morgan says as he rotates his gaze between Chuck and Sarah.
Sarah smiles warmly on hearing Morgan's words.
"Thanks," Chuck replies as he nods his head acceptingly at his best friend.
"Goodnight, Chuck," Morgan says as he embraces his best friend briefly.
"Goodnight, Morgan," Chuck replies.
"It's nice to see you again, Sarah," Morgan says with a warm smile.
Sarah returns the facial expression before responding, "You too."
Chuck and Sarah then stand aside as they watch Morgan depart and leave their home and they continue to watch as he walks to his own apartment. He turns a final time to wave at them both and they return the gesture and they watch on as Alex lets him inside and they close the door after them.
The time it had took Morgan to leave had allowed Chuck and Sarah's nerves and the anxiety to ease slightly and the husband and wife then turn to gaze at each other once more.
"Sarah, I can't tell you how glad I am for you to be back," he declares with a wide loving grin.
A bright smile forms on her face on hearing her husband's declaration to her.
"That was the reaction I was hoping for," she admits as she continues to smile adoringly as she gazes into his warm, inviting eyes.
"Heh," he laughs with his continued trademark Bartowski grin.
"So, how is your mom and Molly today?"
"They were happy when I left them. Though Molly was a bit sad but she brightened up when I told her that we would visit them and she could visit us," Sarah states laughingly and Chuck joins in the laughter.
"That's great. I'm glad they are doing ok."
"They wanted and practically begged me to come back here. I want to be back here too. I want to try and see if we can get back what we have lost after what Quinn has done to me. That is if you want to," she says nervously as she shyly gazes at her husband as if she were a five year old girl like her adopted sister herself right now.
Sarah watches as a wide grin forms on her husband's face once more.
"I want that more than I have ever wanted anything, Sarah," he declares.
A bright smile erupts on Sarah's face on hearing his response to her.
"We'll go at your pace. If it's too much, just say. How does that sound?" Chuck asks.
"That sounds perfect. Thank you," she replies with a loving smile.
"Shall we go inside?" he then asks.
Sarah nods her head. "Yeah," she agrees as they then begin to enter into their apartment together.
"Have you eaten yet?" Chuck asks as they enter into their apartment willingly together for the first time since Sarah had her memories suppressed a few weeks ago.
"Nope. I've been driving for the past few hours" Sarah admits as she giggles briefly.
Chuck laughs on hearing her response. "How does pizza sound?" he asks
"That sounds nice," Sarah admits.
"Don't worry, I know your favorite," he declares.
"I know. You told me at the beach," Sarah smiles lovingly.
Chuck grins on hearing her response.
"By the way, how did you find out that about me?" she asks as her curiosity gets the better of her.
"We were double dating with Morgan and Carina after you had made Carina do it to cement our cover and I watched you taking the olives off your pizza. Heh," he laughs.
Sarah laughs sweetly on hearing his admission. "Wow, you paid attention to that?"
"Kind of obsessive looking back, isn't it?" he asks.
"Only a little," she jokes.
"So I'll go and arrange dinner for us now. I'll give you some time alone to accustom yourself to this apartment again, seeing as though it's your home also," he states.
Sarah nods her head in acceptance. "Ok," she then responds with a warm smile.
The husband and wife then separate inside their home to do different things as Chuck starts to arrange their dinner while Sarah begins a tour of their home. This is the first time she has been inside here by her own free will since she lost her memory and this time she takes the time to study and take in their apartment. Sarah starts in the living space and she begins to examine picture upon picture of herself with her husband. She trawls through photo album after photo album and their individual framed photographs of herself together with her husband. Some of the pictures feel so familiar to her, and yet she has no recollection of any of them, except one. Chuck, Sarah, Molly and Emma were all present and they were posing for a photograph together. Aside from remembering being inside the Lotus with her husband, this is the only other memory that she can recall of him and she pays more attention to this picture than any of the other several dozen she has spent the last ten or so minutes looking at.
Moving deeper into their home, she arrives in the bathroom. The whole bathroom is tiled blue and once more, a deep feeling of nostalgia hits home with her. Inside their bathroom contains two sets of pretty much everything ranging from toothbrushes, to two sets of towels, even two different shower gels and hair shampoo's. She pauses in thought as she wonders which ones are her favorite, and which ones are her husband's favorite.
When Sarah exits the bathroom, she glances towards the kitchen and Chuck is still in conversation on the phone. Sarah can hear Ellie's name mentioned and she feels deep shame over what happened when Quinn had brainwashed her into believing that her husband was her enemy.
Sarah continues on further with her tour to the guest room, which is evidently a guest room as it's quite bare with no real sign of it being inhabited.
Sarah then arrives at her final destination: their bedroom. Her eyes fix onto their bed. She wonders for how many years has she slept inside it with her husband. She wonders how long it will be before they're sleeping together again, and for how long this time? What if something else happens to us? I've already lost my memory. I can't recall other events that have occurred but Chuck has told me there have been many things happen to us. What will happen next to us?
A feeling of anxiety hits her once more on uncovering the revelation that she has just had. She then walks over to the wardrobe and she begins to examine through her outfits. Some of them feel familiar, just like the fruit juice, the sizzling shrimp, the impaled alarm clock. Only there are no memories or recollection of why they feel so familiar to her. Her outfits are more reserved and more mature than what she can remember wearing on assignments more than five years ago but some of them are still explosive. She sets her eyes onto a belly dancing outfit and a brief smirk forms onto her face on imagining herself surprising her husband wearing that, it was obviously for him as it is their home. Sarah then closes the wardrobe and she moves to sit on their bed for a moment in pause. Again a familiar sensation and feeling that she has done this exact action hundreds of times before, which she very likely has.
After a moment of pause on where she is sitting, she stands up and she heads over to the dresser inside their bedroom. On the dresser is several bottles of women's fragrance, with two men's bottles to accompany them. Just like the rest of the home, all signs pointing and indicating that this home belongs to two people. Two people deeply in love with each other, rather just an agent and her mark.
Sarah shifts her glance onto another wedding photo of theirs that is present on the dresser. And she becomes lost in thought over the happiness and joy on display between herself and her husband for a long moment of study.
She then hears activity behind her and she shifts her glance behind her to look at her husband standing at the doorway to their bedroom. On connecting their eyes together, they smile warmly at each other.
"I'm sorry I was occupied on the phone for so long. After ordering I checked in with Ellie and Devon to see how they are settling in," he reveals.
"It's okay. I was just looking through our things. We have made a good home here," she states with a loving smile.
"We have," he agrees with a wide smile of his own.
"So how are they settling in?" she asks sincerely.
"They love it. Ellie didn't want to leave but I told her to go. I'm all grown up now," he laughs.
Sarah laughs briefly. "I'm sorry for what I did to Ellie again by the way." she says shamefully.
"Sarah, you were brainwashed and it wasn't your fault. Ellie doesn't hold that against you. Nor do I."
"We live in a horrible world in where people like to hurt others and it sucks, Chuck," Sarah states glumly to her husband.
"Yeah, it does," he agrees depressively with his wife's comments.
Sarah then turns her gaze back to the dresser, and her eyes come into contact with a beautiful silver bracelet. Sarah picks the bracelet up and she places it into her hand to study and inspect it further. She then watches as her husband closes the distance to her. Her gaze rotates between the bracelet in her hand and her husband now standing near to her.
"You gave me this," Sarah states factually as her gaze connects with her husband's eyes once more whilst her brain is busy trying to recall and recollect how she remembers that her husband gave her this.
She watches as a smile forms onto his face and he nods his head.
"Yeah, I did. It was my mom's lucky charm bracelet. My dad gave it to her when Ellie was born. And I gave it to you on Christmas Eve," he refreshes her suppressed memory.
"It's beautiful," she declares.
"It's yours now. You can wear it whenever you want."
A loving smile forms onto Sarah's face and she moves to touch her husband's hand briefly inside their bedroom on recalling this heartwarming moment spent with her husband.
"You told me at the time that it was something I should give to a real girlfriend as we had not become official back then yet," he then informs her.
"And what did you say?" she inquires with a warm smile.
"I told you I knew it was for a real girlfriend. Which was obviously me indirectly replying at the time that you already were. Heh," he laughs.
Sarah begins to laugh on hearing her husband's words.
"You know, there's a longer story behind that," he then reveals.
"What is it?" She asks as she continues to gaze at her husband and occasionally back at the family heirloom from where they are stood together.
"We were inside the Buy More that was under siege by unknown at the time Fulcrum operatives. They were looking for Bryce and the Intersect and you and Casey came to pull me from the Buy More but I wouldn't leave because Ellie and Devon were inside the store. I gave you the bracelet and I ended up revealing that it was me who was the Intersect and they had orders to take me in but you and Casey rescued me and there's some darker elements to it but I don't really think that we need to relive those moments. Do we?" he asks with a wry smile.
"No. It's probably best not to," she agrees with a warm smile.
"Dinner should be here very soon now," he says as he changes the topic and looks at his watch.
"Great," Sarah laughs and right on cue her stomach begins to rumble.
Chuck starts to laugh on hearing his wife's rumbling stomach as the husband and wife then depart out of their bedroom to head back to the living area of the apartment…
A short while later
Sarah and Chuck's dinner had now arrived and they have now begun to eat dinner together.
"Sarah, I have to confess," he pauses briefly to clear his mouth from eating as he is struggling to talk with a full mouth. "Morgan was trying to get me to prepare a romantic evening earlier."
Sarah laughs nervously on hearing her husband's remarks. "I'm so glad that didn't happen. That would have been so awkward," she admits with a warm smile.
Chuck nods his head in agreement. "That's exactly what I told him. The bearded gnome is a hopeless romantic."
Sarah begins to snort with laughter once more on hearing his remarks.
"How romantic are we talking?" Sarah asks with a smirk as she then takes another bite of quite possibly the most delicious pizza that she has ever eaten. Chuck had told her when it first arrived that they ordered from this place quite frequently and she can certainly see why.
"Romantic dinner. Lit candles all around the apartment. Hell if he had his way, I'm sure he would have talked me into rose petals all over the floor," he laughs to her.
Sarah snorts with laughter once more. "Yeah. I definitely don't think we're there just yet."
Chuck nods his head.
"Plus, I don't really like surprises regardless of my present memory loss," she admits as she takes another bite of her food.
"Oh, I know," he laughs in complete agreement as he fondly recalls some of the memories shared together with his wife.
"Tell me a story in where you tried to surprise me," she demands with a warm smile.
"Ok. Hmm," Chuck pauses briefly to think. "Well we had just gotten married and I had begun a search in secret to find you your dream home and I wanted to surprise you with it,"
"Wow, you're good," she interrupts his story post bite of her pizza with another loving smile. "You found me the house with the red door and the white picket fence yourself?" she asks.
"I only wish," he laughs. "I would have loved to surprise and to guess your dream home but sadly it was you that ended up telling me about it," he admits.
"How did that come about?" she asks as she gazes at her husband and she then takes another bite of her food.
"You knew I was hiding and doing something in secret and you got it out of me by seducing me," he admits with a chuckle.
Sarah begins to snort with laughter once more on hearing her husband's latest remarks to her.
"You've successfully seduced me more times than I can count. You have so much power over me," he admits with a wide grin. "There was even one time in where we attempted to seduce each other at the same time," he refreshes her memory as he takes a bite of his own food.
Sarah once more begins to snort with laughter on hearing his latest admission. "Wow, so which of us got what we wanted and how did we get it, by making love?" she asks flirtatiously causing Chuck to choke on his food at the mention of sex.
On recovering enough to talk, he starts. "It was kind of me getting what I wanted I guess but you came on board eventually. Though for the sake of being honest, you successfully seduced me in that encounter," he pauses and Sarah smirks on hearing his admission. "You were trying to convince me to elope with you. While I was trying to convince you to a big family wedding at the same time."
Sarah starts to laugh once more on being informed more about her life she has lived together with her husband.
"Obviously we agreed and we ended up with the family wedding. I've been looking at our albums. It looks perfect. But how did it come about?" she asks as she requests yet more extremely crucial forgotten information as she continues to attempt to map out and rebuild the past five years of her life once more.
"Well you didn't want the family wedding because sadly as we know you don't have much family," he pauses to smile sympathetically with his wife. "Obviously we know why you couldn't have invited Molly or your mother and your father lives his life on the run. So you wanted to elope with me and you tried to convince me to agree to it by wearing a belly dancing outfit and telling me you'd wear it for our wedding wherever we wanted to go."
"So that's what the outfit was for. I was looking at it earlier in the wardrobe," she says with a smirk as she takes another bite of her food.
"Yeah. I kind of did a little persuading and I convinced you to keep it. Heh," he admits with a chuckle.
Sarah giggles sweetly on hearing her husband's words. "So if you like it so much, why didn't my plan work?"
"I really didn't want to elope," he admits with another chuckle.
"Not even with the promise of marrying me while I was wearing a belly dancing outfit and everything that would have happened afterwards?" she asks flirtatiously before taking another bite of her food.
"Sarah, I came dangerously close to accepting," he admits causing Sarah to smirk approvingly. "In fact, I even did agree and accept your proposal for about two seconds until I caught on that you were seducing me. Besides, Morgan didn't want me to either. I had him in my ear telling me that you were trying to kill him by asking me to elope," he laughs.
Sarah quirks her eyebrows on hearing her husband's words. "Morgan got in the way of me seducing you?" she asks as she begins to fill up with some frustration over Morgan blocking yet more of her intimate attempts with her husband. How many more times has he blocked my intimacy with Chuck?
"Kind of," he admits. "Maybe only like ten percent though. The other ninety or so was all me not wanting to."
"Do I need to have words with him over this also?" she asks with a straight face and she takes a final bite of her food before finishing the best pizza that she has ever eaten before.
"Sarah, we already pulled him over the iou, if that's what you're referring to," he chuckles.
"Don't remind me of that! It's still a sore topic," she laughs.
"Sorry," he chuckles.
"Chuck, you have no idea what it's like to lose your memory and then be told and reminded for what feels like the first time that your best friend stole your condom and left you an iou note that stopped us from having sex after chasing each other for nearly two years and coming this close," she shows him her fingers to emphasize her point "to having each other only to have it taken away from us by a rotten no good thief!"
"A rotten no good thief? That's a little strong dontcha think, Sarah?" he laughs to his wife.
"Chuck, don't argue! He stole from you too. You're supposed to be agreeing with me," she pouts to him cutely.
"Sorry, you're right. How can we get him back?" he asks enthusiastically.
"Leave that with me," she says whilst winking at him.
"As long as your plans do not involve him losing any body parts or your plans culminating in his death, I can agree to that," he chuckles.
"A tough compromise, but I'll agree to it," she says flirtatiously. "But now it's time for us to eat the ice cream that I saw you trying to sneak and hide by the way."
Chuck shakes his head sideways with a wide grin in amazement at his wife's alertness.
"Wow, nothing really does get past you. I thought my super spy skills would allow me to surprise you with it," he chuckles.
Sarah smirks on hearing his response. "Nothing gets past me. I'm a spy. Well, I was a spy," she laughs.
Chuck narrows his eyebrows. "You're done with spying?" he asks.
Sarah nods her head. "Yeah. Chuck, I've lost my memory. Five full years of my life. Just being with you tonight and everything you've told me at the beach and here and our conversations over the telephone while I was at my mom's makes me realize and know that those years with you were happy ones. And I hope that we can get back what we have lost," she pauses to affectionately touch her husband's hand with her own briefly from where they are seated facing each other at their dining table. "But Chuck, if that's not a reason to leave behind that life for good then I don't know what is."
Chuck takes a moment to register his wife's revelations as he carefully plans his response.
"Sarah, I will support and back any decision that you ever make. I'm your husband. But being a spy is all that you know. What will you do?" he asks sincerely.
Sarah shrugs her shoulders as she then starts to contemplate her husband's question. "I don't know, Chuck. Like you said, being a spy is all that I know. But it has to end at some point, right?" she asks and Chuck nods his head in agreement. "This is as good a time as any to leave behind that life, Chuck. I might not get another chance. Besides, no spy agency in their right mind would hire me now anyway, I would be a danger to any mission I went on with my memory loss. But I don't really want to talk about this tonight. I am back here with you tonight to get to know you again. So we'll talk about career paths and our life plans another day. Agreed?"
Chuck nods his head and the husband and wife share a loving smile together. "Agreed."
"Then let's go and get our ice cream. With all of the suspense of you trying to hide it from me, I hope it's my favorite," she states with a wide smile.
"Of course! Who do you think you're dealing with?" he laughs to her as they begin to stand up together.
"A nerd," she shoots back as she starts to giggle.
"Ouch! That's not the first time you've done that to me by the way!" he shouts after her as they start to walk to their kitchen together.
"I'm sure," she laughs back as she looks behind herself to smile at her husband and they prepare their ice cream together.
Sometime later
"You know, this ice cream brings back memories of my childhood and my dad," Sarah admits as she takes a mouthful of her favorite Rocky Road ice cream from her spoon from where she is sitting on the sofa together with her husband who she is reacquainting herself with once more.
"We have shared so many conversations about your childhood, Sarah. You know, we kind of share very similar childhoods too," he reveals as he continues to refresh his wife's memory.
"What, you used to go around conning people with your dad?" she jokes with a smirk.
"Not exactly," he pauses to chuckle briefly. "But uh, my mom walked out on me when I was nine. Dad stuck around for a few years but he was never really around until he then left too. It was just me and Ellie. She was the only person in my life that I stuck around with. Just like you with your dad. It was you and him against the world. Just like it was me and Ellie against the world," he reveals with a loving smile.
"Wow. We sound like we were made for each other," she declares to him with an affectionate smile.
"Sarah, at the risk of being blunt, we are," he declares with a loving grin and Sarah's smile intensifies further on hearing his words.
"Aside from Ellie, you're the only woman that stuck around in my life. Five full years. The best years of my life. God knows, I've faced MANY challenges in those years, but they were all worth it because I came through them together with you."
"You know, I've always been used to men walking out on me and leaving me too," she admits to him nervously.
"Sarah, I will never give up on you or leave you. I will fight for you until my dying breath," he declares powerfully with conviction.
Sarah pauses her actions of eating the final scoop of her ice cream on hearing her husband's words to her.
Chuck smiles sympathetically at her. "I'm sorry if that was too intense a thing for me to say to you right now."
Sarah gazes into her husband's alluring chocolate eyes as a smile begins to form onto her face. "No. it was nice," she admits.
Chuck returns the loving smile to his wife. "I should start to clean up our dinner now," he then says.
"I'll help you," she replies.
"Sarah, you don't have to," he says warmly as he doesn't want her to have to clean up with him on her first night of being back.
"I do. It's my home too," she says with no room for negotiation in her tone.
Chuck nods his head acceptingly. "Ok. Sarah, about that though."
"Yeah?" she asks.
"Do you want to stay here or is that pushing you too much?" he asks with a loving smile.
A smile forms on Sarah's face once more on hearing her husband's question to her. "No, Chuck, I think it's a good idea. I was kind of building up the courage into asking you," she admits with a suppressed laugh.
Chuck laughs on hearing her response. "Ok, naturally I'll take the guest room."
"Chuck, you don't have to do that," she protests softly.
"Somebody has to take the guest room and it should be me because you're not my guest, you're my wife and it's our home so it's the gentleman thing to do."
Maybe neither of us needed to take the guest room, Chuck. I was prepared to try to rekindle our intimacy tonight. I kind of like you. A lot.
"Ok, Chuck. Let's start to clean up then," Sarah says as the husband and wife begin to stand up from the sofa to get started on cleaning up together...
It is now late evening and Chuck and Sarah have just finished cleaning up after eating dinner and spending the night together again as they attempt to reconcile after the incident which has suppressed all of Sarah's memory of her time with Chuck.
"I really enjoyed spending tonight with you, Chuck," Sarah declares to her husband with a loving smile from where they are stood in their kitchen together.
"Sarah, I did too. I'm glad you had a good night. I guess I will leave you to find and gather your things to use the bathroom now and then I'll use it after you whenever you are finished. Please, take your time. Just leave the door open when you're finished so I'll know when it's free. Ok?" he asks as he gazes at her with a loving smile.
"Ok," she agrees as she returns the smile to him.
"Well, goodnight," he smiles at her a final time before turning slightly and he is about to head back to their living area but he stops when Sarah starts to talk.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asks him with her hands on her hips.
"What's that?" he asks as he turns to face her again.
"A kiss goodnight?" she asks as a smirk forms on her face.
Chuck frowns his eyebrows on hearing her response. "Are you sure?" he asks as he thinks back to their conversation on arriving about going at Sarah's pace.
We've already kissed. At the beach. And I liked it.
Sarah nods her head and she smiles invitingly at him as she waits for him to move into her proximity. On him arriving in it, she raises her hand up to rest on his neckline and she closes her eyes as they connect their lips together. This kiss was fully reciprocated from the outset and the kiss continues to last and Sarah has no intention of pulling apart until Chuck stops which he now does as he pulls apart from the kiss and Sarah opens her eyes once more as a smile forms on their faces.
"Goodnight," he says as he gazes into her eyes.
"Goodnight," Sarah replies as they then separate ways inside their home as Chuck retires to their living area while Sarah heads to their bedroom that she is having to learn for the first time again as she starts to search for where her nightwear is located before picking out some as she then departs their bedroom and into the bathroom that she is also having to learn for the first time as she starts to get undressed and she then learns how to use and operate their shower for the first time once more. And as the warm water hits her inside of the shower, Sarah continues to imagine and replay the kiss inside her mind that she had just shared with her husband that had lasted a good fifteen seconds when an intimate memory hits her of being inside of this very same shower together with her husband. A wide smirk forms on Sarah's face as she starts to recall the sexual memory of her and her husband that had just flashed before her. And if the memory that has just hit her is anything to go by, then she's certain that she made at least ninety percent of all intimate advancements with her husband. Which she knew anyway even before this memory as she had never let any lover that she can ever recall having take control of her inside of the bedroom, or shower for that matter. She's half tempted to shout to her husband to bring him into the bathroom to inform him of her latest memory that she has just had. Though if she did do that, then they would likely be recreating this specific memory immediately here and now, as the memory in conjunction with their kiss has her feeling extremely aroused. Deciding that it's probably not ideal for their situation to be having shower sex together right now, she lets it slide and continues on with her shower...
Two hours later
Sarah has been inside her and her husband's bed for over the past hour and she has been unable to sleep. It feels so strange and weird and it is massively playing on her mind that it is their bed, and yet she is attempting to sleep alone inside of it.
After showering, she had put on her nightwear and she had walked out into their living area to inform Chuck that she had finished showering and that the bathroom was free for him again while also feeling tempted once more into telling her husband about her intimate shower memory. She had then retired into their bedroom that she has no recollection of yet everything about it felt so familiar to her. She then spent the next hour tossing and turning inside their bed willing sleep to come but it would not. She has been unable to get Chuck out of her mind, wondering if he is finding it any easier to sleep without her. She can't imagine what he is having to go through right now. Sarah has almost no memory of him and yet she is feeling like this without sleeping next to him knowing that they are sleeping inside the exact same home but in separate beds. So she can't imagine what he is going through right now as he has five full years of memories of her.
Should I go and stay with him? But I'm a stranger to him. He needs his wife. What if he is sleeping ok and it's just me and I disturb him. What if he wants me to be his fully functioning wife and not his girlfriend which is essentially what I am right now until he's ready to sleep with me again?
Sarah continues to toss and turn and argue with herself in contemplation of her course of actions until she can't take no more and she starts to climb up out of their bed.
I need to clear my mind before returning to bed. I'm finding it hard to shut my mind off. It's already after 1am and it will be sunrise before I'm asleep at this rate.
On arriving outside of their bed, she starts to walk to the door to exit the bedroom and arriving out into the hallway, she pauses as she begins to contemplate entering the guest room to sleep next to her husband wondering if that will help her to sleep any better, and him, if he's struggling...
Baby steps, Sarah. It's not fair on him for me to potentially give him false hope and to sleep with him only for me to have potentially decided in a few weeks that it's too much commitment for me to deal with.
Sighing deeply, she turns from looking at the guest bedroom and she begins to head into the kitchen to make herself a drink.
She is now inside their kitchen and she is just about to open the refrigerator but she suddenly freezes in place.
"Can't sleep either?" he asks her softly.
A smile forms on Sarah's face on hearing the voice of her husband and that her husband can't sleep either just like her.
She lets go of the refrigerator she has hold of and she turns to face in the direction of where her husband is speaking to her from.
"No," she laughs to him.
"I've not been able to sleep since what happened to you at Quinn's bastard hands," he admits to her with more malice than she's ever heard from him.
And on hearing his response, Sarah exits the kitchen space and she walks into their living room and she observes him cozying onto their sofa with a duvet over him.
Sarah's heart soars on observing that her husband is attempting to sleep on a sofa and not in a bed inside their home.
Sarah continues walking until she arrives at the sofa and she moves to sit down next to where he is lazing.
"Why did this have to happen to us, Chuck? It's not fair that somebody can make me forget my husband," she admits despondently as she smiles sadly at him.
"No, it's not," he agrees in the same despondent tone of voice as her.
"Why are you sleeping out here?" she asks him softly.
"Can I be honest with you?" he asks as he smiles faintly at her.
"Please do," she encourages him with a warm smile.
"I can't sleep without you. I guess I've grown too accustomed to sleeping next to you," he admits to her as his faint smile continues.
A smile forms on Sarah's face once more on hearing his admission and she has just the conversation in mind to perk up their depressive moods.
"I'm kind of glad you're awake, actually," she says flirtatiously.
"Oh yeah?" he asks cheekily as he detects the flirting in his wife's tone.
"I had a memory earlier, while I was in the shower," she says in the same tone as a smirk forms on her face and she stares at into her husband's eyes.
Chuck swallows and he turns red and looks away from her on hearing her words to him.
Sarah's smirk extends on seeing her husband's blushes. He looks so cute when he's shy.
"One of those memories, huh?" he asks as he makes eye contact with her again.
"Yup," Sarah admits as she continues to gaze at him while suddenly feeling cold because he's under a duvet and she is not.
"I'm guessing you don't want to talk in depth about that one unlike our others?" he asks as he continues to blush.
"I'm guessing you don't either," she retorts to him with her wide smirk still present on her face.
"Touché," he replies nervously.
Sarah giggles sweetly on hearing his response. "Though I'm not so sure, maybe I do want to talk about it in depth," she adds in as she continues to flirt with and gaze at him.
He coughs for a long moment on hearing her response. "Okay, I mean we can um, talk about those if you want," he agrees sincerely.
On hearing his response, Sarah bursts into laughter and she moves closer into him and she finds and strokes his arm from outside of the duvet while suddenly wanting to be inside it with him because firstly, she's cold. And secondly, she would quite like to cozy up with and cuddle with him right now. "Chuck, I'm just playing with you. I don't need to know about our intimate moments, we can easily do and replicate those and create new ones again just as easily as this," she says as she clicks her fingers and she continues to smirk at him.
"Sarah, you're killing me with this onslaught," he admits as his fluster peaks at an all time high.
"Call it some payback for the phone conversation the other day. I told you there was nowhere you could hide from me," she giggles to him.
"I should have gone to Australia, like I said," he sighs aloud.
"Yeah, you should," she laughs to him.
He then turns serious. "Why can't you sleep, Sarah? Is it because you're here with me and it's too much for you?" he asks sincerely with a sympathetic smile.
Sarah smiles warmly at him and she shakes her head no.
No. It's because I'm not sleeping next to you, I think.
"No, Chuck, I'm just not tired, I guess," she deflects away from her inner thoughts as she's never found it easy to talk openly about her feelings. Though she can express them pretty well, as she then starts to open up the duvet that her husband is inside and he does not object as she climbs into it but she keeps some slight space between their bodies.
"Who invited you in here?" he then jokes on her finishing her repositioning.
"Anything inside this home is mine too, including the duvet," she replies jokingly.
"Heh," he says as he begins to chuckle.
A bright smile forms onto Sarah's face as she gazes at him. This really is my home. I've never felt more content as I'm feeling right now and I can still remember so little about him. God knows how I will feel when I recover even just a fraction of my lost memories.
"Do y," she pauses. "Do we have any hot chocolate?" she asks him.
Sarah watches on as a wide grin forms from his mouth on hearing her question to him. "Of course. It's always been our favorite to help us sleep when we have faced any kind of difficulties," he reveals.
"So that's why I have a sudden craving for it!" she says as a huge smile forms.
"You remembered it?" he asks.
Sarah nods her head as her vibrant smile continues. "Yeah. I'm also thinking about marshmallows. I'm not sure why," she admits.
"Heh. Another of our favorites! We usually coat it with them," he reveals as his own wide grin continues.
"At least I can remember something of ours that's real and is a favorite. It's a start I guess," she says glumly.
"Sarah, we will come through this," he says as he moves to touch her arm comfortingly but he immediately turns nervous on realizing how intimately he just touched her.
Sarah lets the contact slide without any negative response as her vibrant smile lights up her face instead once more.
"Let's go and make some then," Sarah says as she starts to climb up from where she was formerly just lazing under the duvet together with her husband.
"I could have made it for us while you rested here," he offers.
"I'm not a guest, remember. Your words," Sarah laughs to him and Chuck starts to chuckle.
"Right, right. That wouldn't have been a gesture for a guest, though," he informs her.
"Oh, what would it be then?" she asks flirtatiously with a smirk.
"A loving husband thinking of his wife," he declares with a trademark Bartowski grin.
Her smirk forms into another immediate loving smile on hearing his words as she takes his hand and she pulls him up off the sofa as they head to their kitchen to make some hot chocolate together...
Sarah and Chuck have just arrived back at their sofa together with their freshly made hot chocolate coated in marshmallows and Sarah climbs under the duvet first to let him know that she has every intention of sharing it with him again and that she's not going anywhere anytime soon. Chuck joins her and they settle into a resting position sightly apart from each other and they move to toast their hot chocolates together.
"Cheers," Chuck says.
"Cheers," Sarah replies as she starts to giggle as they start to drink their hot chocolate together for the next few minutes in a peaceful silence while gazing at each other with occasional happy, affectionate glances.
Sarah has just finished drinking her hot chocolate coated with marshmallows and she can see why it's a favorite of theirs as she feels relaxed already. Though that's maybe also in part because she is in close proximity to her husband under a duvet with him. She is feeling very relaxed right now, significantly more so than when she was in their bed alone however long ago it was.
"Chuck?" she asks as she breaks the silence with him.
"Yeah?" he responds as he gazes at her once more.
"You asked me just earlier why I couldn't sleep," she states.
"Yeah?" he asks.
"I kind of deflected," she admits to him as she gazes at him with a wry smile. "I think I can't sleep because I'm not sleeping next to you either," she admits.
He then laughs a suppressed laugh. "It feels so strange, doesn't it? he asks.
"Sleeping in separate beds under the same roof?" she retorts instantly.
Chuck nods his head. "Yeah. I've not been sleeping well the past few weeks after Quinn took you away from me but I was sleeping slightly better than when I tried tonight, I just couldn't seem to get off to sleep," he admits.
"Chuck, we don't have to," she says as she continues to gaze and smile warmly at him.
"I know. But at least for the first few days it might be best. I don't want to push or force you to sleep next to me."
"Forced? Would it be so bad?" she asks flirtatiously.
"I'm sure I could suffer through it," he jokes.
"Me too," she replies with a loving smile.
They then pause briefly as they continue to gaze at each other from where they are now comfortably resting together under the duvet on their sofa.
"Chuck?" Sarah says as she breaks the silence once more.
"Yeah?" he asks.
"Tell me a story."
"Yeah," he agrees and pauses to think as his mind delves into the Chuck and Sarah memory bank. "What about the time that we, well mostly I hung out with a rock star?"
Sarah nods her head as she begins to yawn while she continues to relax and she waits for him to start the story.
"Well… The story starts out with just another normal day at the Buy More," he chuckles.
"Everything starts at Buy More," Sarah mumbles drowsily with a bright smile to him.
"Heh, yeah. So, one day a happy Morgan informs me that a critically acclaimed rock star called Tyler Martin was in town. And not only was he in town, he was attending the Buy More itself to greet his army of fans."
He pauses briefly and Sarah smiles at him from where she is resting cozily into the sofa in his close proximity and she yawns deeply once more.
"So, Mr Martin was about to arrive, only for myself to encounter some bad guy in a trench coat planting a grenade inside of the store. Naturally, I inform the cavalry and Team Bartowski rush the grenade down into Castle to secure it before it explodes and injures or kills a lot of innocent people," he pauses briefly as Sarah nestles herself into the side of him. "So we find out that the grenade was a bomb commonly used by North African military intelligence and Mr Martin had just finished a musical tour of Africa. He takes an attraction to you and we lure him into Castle before Casey knocks him out with tranq dart. You and Casey then left me in charge of the rock star while you went off to hunt the bad guy together."
Chuck pauses as he gazes at Sarah who is now sound asleep and unconscious laying right next to him. Chuck starts to laugh an extremely muted chuckle on how easy it was for his wife to fall asleep. She always did fall asleep easily whenever they would engage in light conversation together just before sleep.
"Goodnight, Sarah. I love you baby," he allows himself to declare emotionally on talking to his sleeping and peaceful wife as he then lays back peacefully into the sofa and he listens to his wife's breathing pattern laying right next to him with her arm now placed over his chest until sleep peacefully overtakes himself just as it had her…
AN/ D'aww! What a cute way to end this chapter. Even if I say so myself, which I do! How will they wake up the next morning? Find out, next chapter!
Next Chapter: Chicken Pepperoni, A bath memory and a Doctor's appointment for Sarah in an attempt for her to find out more about what's actually wrong with her. And maybe some other stuff thrown in as well. We'll see.
As always, I hope you enjoyed today's chapter and please review with your feedback on your way out.