Camelot
April, 505 AD
I very begrudgingly got out of bed the next morning, knowing that my dumb position as 'lady' means that I have to attend the troll's coronation, or whatever (and I can't believe that's an actual sentence I can just say without it being metaphorical!). So I dragged myself out of my covers, splashed some water in my face, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, and reluctantly changed into a stupid dress because of etiquette and crap.
A knock on my door made me freeze as I was making my way towards my closet to get my black Converse, and I tilted my head as I went to open it.
My lips instantly produced a smile when I saw the handsome Prince Arthur Pendragon, "Oh, hey, Art. How're ya' feelin'?"
He shrugged a little. "I am here to escort you to the grand hall," he then said.
I froze for a second, thinking that this might raise suspicions; but then I remembered that Uther has personally asked him to escort me to things before, and I shoved that fear off. "Sure, gimme a sec," I responded and dashed towards my closet to get my shoes. And my black bomber jacket, 'cause the weather is a bit chilly.
Then I hooked my arm under Arthur's, trying to ignore the faint tingle that travelled up my spine at the feeling of his natural warmth, and we walked together towards the grand hall.
As is the custom for big events such as the one happening now, the room was decorated in various repetitions of the pendragon crest, illuminated by candles, and packed with courtiers and knights. How they can bear to witness their Prince being displaced without a single protest is beyond me. If it wasn't for the fact that I know that the troll will be exposed soon, I would've confronted Uther and poured Nair into Catrina's shampoo already.
I remained standing beside Arthur, not letting go of his arm, as Uther and 'Catrina' took their seats on the two thrones. I watched as Geoffrey of Monmouth moved to the centre of the stage, facing the crowd as he addressed them, "We are gathered here to bear witness to the naming of Queen Catrina as the rightful heir to Camelot." I clenched my jaw as the elderly man turned around to face the human-looking troll. "Are you willing to take the oath?" he asked.
'Catrina' stood up as she responded, "I am."
I didn't miss the embarrassingly lovestruck look on Uther's face. What does he see in her?! She's got an awful personality, and she's not even that pretty!
Arthur dropped his head and I glanced up at him, then I gently rubbed my thumb against his upper arm in an attempt to show support.
"Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of Camelot, to uphold the laws and customs of the land?" Geoffrey asked, his voice firm and clear for everyone in the room to hear.
"I…" Catrina's face contorted in displeasure and she scratched at her arm, "do."
I had to bite back a smile. I think the potion is wearing off!
"Will you, to your power, cause law and justice in mercy to be executed in all your judgments?" the elderly man continued while the troll kept restlessly scratching her arm.
"I will," she responded.
Geoffrey continued, "Will you, to the utmost of your powers…" Catrina lifted her sleeve to reveal a bunch of grey bubbly warts on her skin and I inhaled sharply, restraining a chuckle. "…maintain the laws–"
"Yes, yes," she cut him off, obviously starting to panic.
I gave Arthur a gentle nudge, hopefully letting him know that things were starting to turn around.
"I-I am sorry, you must let me finish," a puzzled Geoffrey informed the troll. "The wording must be exactly right to be binding."
"Well, get on with it then!" Catrina snapped, then she turned to Uther, "I mean, really, where did you dig up this old crone from?"
I turned to press my forehead against Arthur's arm in an attempt to shield a smile and muffle a giggle that accidentally bubbled in my throat.
"She is right. Get on with it," Uther supported his stinky wife.
The taste of blood returned to my mouth from how hard I had to bite down on my lip to repress laughter. This is torture!
Geoffrey sighed before continuing, "Will you, to the utmost of your powers–"
"Yes, yes, yes," Catrina cut him off once more.
"Maintain the laws and customs…"
"I will, I will!"
"…Of the land, and serve the people of Camelot–"
"Yes! Just shut up and give me the crown!" the troll roared, sparking speculative murmurs from the crowd.
The added noise in the room allowed me to chuckle a little without it turning heads. Other than Arthur's, who seemed concerned as he looked down at me. "It's happenin', Artie," I whispered. He gave a little grin before turning to look at Catrina again, raising his eyebrows.
She was visibly panicking now as her face contorted in anguish, and I chuckled again.
Geoffrey exchanged a wary look with another man in the room, who stepped forwards with a pillow that carried a crown. Geoffrey went to take the shiny item, but 'Catrina' beat him to it as she cried, "Will you just hurry up!?" She placed the crown on her own head and sprinted out of the room.
I started giggling again.
Uther stood up, his lovestruck smile not fading as he called out, "Catrina?" and he ran after her.
"Oh, I don't wanna miss this," I stated and I gave Arthur's arm a gentle tug before letting go and taking off after the pair. The Prince was right on my tail, along with a very concerned Morgana.
"Catrina?!" the King's voice echoed through the corridors, giving me an idea of where to go.
We caught up with them at the main door to the royal apartments and we hung back as Uther approached her.
"Whatever is the matter?" he asked.
"I am sorry," she responded, raising her hands in surrender for a second before quickly hiding them behind her back – likely because her left one had already been taken over by her real appearance. I smirked. "I do not know what came over me! I just suddenly felt so hot!" She fanned herself with her 'human' hand for a moment. "I think I need to be on my own."
"Are you all right?" Morgana asked as she stepped forwards, only to halt when Catrina held out her 'normal' arm.
"I am fine, really, thank you!" She seemed to be scrambling for appropriate responses. "I just–" she turned around and went to open the door. Only, it seemed to be locked as she pulled on it restlessly while chanting, "Come on, come on… open!" Her raspy troll voice came out at the end and I snorted.
Arthur frowned down at me for a moment before approaching the troll as he chivalrously offered, "Let me…" He recoiled when he got within three metres of her. "What is that?!" he asked in alarm.
Catrina turned around with a gasp, her troll arm now on full display. I slapped a hand over my mouth to muffle the laughter that I couldn't restrain at the sight of her panicked expression. She stammered for a response, and then her face began to contort in a demonic way as her features expanded and her skin turned grey… all while her body expelled some flatulence.
"Oh, gross," I groaned and moved to cover my nose with my arm.
"What is happening?!" poor, oblivious Morgana asked, appearing shocked as she stared at the troll with widened eyes. "Somebody help her!"
I glanced at Uther, eager to see his reaction… but his enamoured state remained even as the troll transformed fully.
"You really are a troll!" Arthur brilliantly realised and he looked back at me for a moment, his eyes wide. I winked at him.
'Catrina' gasped.
Uther's smile faded as he turned towards his son with a grumpy expression, "How dare you speak to her like that?!"
My amused smile faded and I tilted my head. Is he, like, blind, or something?
"What is wrong with you?!" Arthur asked him. "Look at the state of her!"
The lovestruck smile returned and I blinked rapidly as I stared at the King. Could he be enchanted?! That would explain so much!
"I do not believe it," Morgana breathed out.
'Catrina' continued to panic as she seemingly searched for a way out with her eyes, then she just turned around, ripped the door out (almost hitting the Prince as she threw it carelessly), and left the room after letting out a growl.
I giggled once more.
"She just ripped a door off its hinges," Arthur recounted as he turned back towards his father with a frown. "Does that not tell you something?"
"Enough!" Uther roared at the Prince. I scooted closer to the latter while narrowing my eyes at the former, my dumb brain apparently thinking that I could somehow defend Arthur if his father tried to hurt him, or something. If he's enchanted, who knows what he's capable of doing?
"She is a troll!" Arthur argued. Uther's rage only seemed to grow. "A giant, grey–"
"Stinking," Morgana contributed, still appearing very much stunned.
"Don't forget fugly," I threw in.
"Stinking, ugly, troll!" the Prince finished.
"Stop it!" Uther demanded as he moved to pick up the discarded shoes that 'Catrina' had left behind thanks to her troll feet breaking through them. "Have you not hurt her feelings enough?"
He has to be enchanted! It's the only explanation!
"Insult my wife again, it will be the last thing you ever do," the King warned before following after his… wife.
I let out a puff and offered a little smile when Arthur turned back to me with a quizzical look. "Well, that didn't go according to plan," I noted the obvious.
"Astra – what just happened?" Morgana asked.
"Not sure," I confessed as I gazed towards the broken door for a moment, tilting my head. "We gotta go back to the drawing board," I mumbled and then went in search of Gaius and/or Merlin.
"You should've seen her reaction, Merls, it was gold!" I laughed while my best friend and I were cutting some vegetables in preparation for making a soup. We weren't gonna make it, mind you, for it would likely turn out awful. We were just easing Gaius's tasks while he was out with a couple of knights and lords in what I knew would be a fruitless quest to try to get Uther to see that his precious queen is a freaking troll.
"I know, I was there," he responded while casting me a wink.
I frowned, "You were?"
"Who do you think locked the doors?"
I bursted out laughing again at that, "Oh, buddy, you're a genius!"
We laughed together uncontrollably for a minute, and when we sobered up, we went back to cutting vegetables and the apartment fell silent for a moment.
"Utah's gotta be enchanted, right?" I noted, glancing at my friend for a second. "Like Arthur was with the demonic Tinkerbell that one time? It's the only thing that makes sense."
"A love potion?" Merlin questioned, stopping his task as he turned to look at me fully.
I copied his actions and shrugged, "Or a witchy ritual, or another magic staff, or an amulet, or something."
The sorcerer fell pensive for a moment, then he nodded and, without a word, forgot about the vegetables and headed towards one of the bookshelves. I followed and watched as he pulled out several books, passing some onto me as he continued to browse Gaius's charming little library.
Soon enough, we were sitting at the kitchen bench while rifling through books.
The physician returned a few minutes later, halting and giving us a quizzical look when he saw what we were doing.
"Children?"
"We think Utah's enchanted," I caught him up to speed.
"So we are searching for a way to break it," Merlin complemented.
Gaius sighed, "I fear you will not find anything in your magic books. Troll enchantments are too strong."
"Then what are we going to do?" the sorcerer questioned.
"You must speak to the dragon," Gaius stated, causing us to share a surprised look. Though I quickly smiled at the thought of seeing the great creature again. "If there is a way to break Catrina's hold on Uther, he will know it. But be caref–"
I didn't stick by to listen to what else Gaius had to say as I sprinted out of the room, excitement overpowering me. Can you blame me?! I get to talk to an actual freaking dragon! Again!
I kinda tripped down the staircase to the dragon's lair… and slid down a couple of steps before I was able to get back up… and then I kept running until I found the cave.
"Kilgharrah!" I called out with a grin, my eyes darting around in search of the fantastic beast.
Sure enough, the dragon flew out of some hiding place and soared towards me before lowering himself onto a rock, an indecipherable expression in his eyes as he regarded me.
"Hey, buddy! Remember me?"
"The girl out of time," he acknowledged, almost stoically.
I tilted my head, wondering why he acts so serious; but I shrugged it off, knowing that there are more pressing matters at hand. "So, uh, Camelot's in trouble," I informed with a giggle.
His stoic expression faded as he turned a little concerned, "What is the matter?"
I giggled again before responding, "Well, you see, there's this woman – Lady Catrina – who came to stay with Utah, right? And they fell in love and got married..." Merlin arrived at the scene and stood next to me. "Except – there's no Lady Catrina! She's actually a troll in disguise! And she's displacing Arthur, and now the whole castle stinks because she eats horse poop–"
I wasn't allowed to continue because the dragon bursted out laughing. I couldn't help but join in.
"This is not funny!" Merlin scolded the two of us with an unimpressed look.
"Oh, it is, it is," Kilgharrah responded in between chuckles. "The thought of Uther marrying a troll!"
Merlin slapped my arm and I forced myself to stop laughing, pouting instead.
"Was it a very public affair?" the dragon asked.
"Oh yeah, and the news spread fast," I replied, and the two of us cackled again.
"Do not laugh!" my best friend scolded again, this time more loudly. "If she cannot be stopped, Arthur will not become King. Albion will never be born!"
"I am sorry," Kilgharrah responded as he sobered up. "You are right, of course."
"We believe she's got Utah under some sort of love spell," I then told the creature. "Any clues on how to break that?"
Kilgharrah tilted his head pensively for a moment, then he responded, "These are not trifling tricks. Troll magic is very powerful."
"There has to be a way!" Merlin pressed.
"The only way you could break this enchantment is if Uther were to cry tears of true remorse," the dragon revealed.
"I'm not sure he's capable of feelin' that, though," I noted in a mumble.
"You are right," Kilgharrah conceded. "Uther's heart is cold as stone. He has never been sorry for anything."
Merlin sighed. "Thanks… I think," he said in a deflated manner before walking away.
I tilted my head as I watched him go, feeling like he was not showing our reptilian friend enough respect. He does know that he could set him on fire, right? I think… Do dragons really breathe fire, or is that part fictional?
"Forgive him, he's been very stressed lately," I excused my friend as I offered Kilgharrah a smile. "The troll framed him for robbery, so he's kind of a fugitive at the moment."
"Trolls are cunning creatures," the dragon acknowledged.
"You don't have to tell me…"
Our conversation wasn't allowed to go any further because Merlin returned just to drag me away.
"See ya' later, bud!" I called out to the dragon as I stumbled after my friend.
We hurried back to Gaius's apartment and rapidly recounted what Kilgharrah told us.
"Well, that is not going to be easy," the physician noted gravely. "Uther's heart is closed to everyone."
Merlin shook his head, "Not everyone – Arthur."
Gaius nodded pensively, then he sighed. "Then there is only one course of action we can take," he began while sending me a glance I couldn't decipher, which caused me to tilt my head in curiosity. "Uther must see his son die."
I choked on saliva, "What?!"
An hour or two past midnight, when it is easier to sneak around the castle without turning heads, Merlin went to Arthur's room so that he could inform him of our plan. He had insisted I be the one to do it, but I was kinda scared of the possibility that the Prince might be shirtless, which would almost certainly break my brain; so my best friend had (after laughing his butt off at my excuse) agreed to take the bullet.
In the meantime, I helped Gaius to prepare two vials that would be needed for our little plan, and we caught up with the boys some minutes later. Luckily, Arthur was fully clothed and he and I shared a small grin when we made eye-contact for a moment.
"So," the Prince turned to the physician, "your great plan is to kill me."
"No!" Merlin quickly responded.
I tilted my head, "Kinda."
"Well, yes," my friend changed his answer.
"But not really," I said.
"Not exactly," Merlin continued with an innocent grin. "Gaius has made a potion that gives the appearance of death without the actual dying bit."
Arthur frowned and returned his attention to the physician, who held up one of the vials we'd made.
"It is fine," Merlin assured the Prince. "There is nothing to worry about. It will only bring you to the brink of death."
"Oh, only to the brink," Arthur noted sarcastically and he turned towards me as he raised an eyebrow.
"Wasn't my idea," I excused while raising my hands in mock surrender.
"We do not have another choice," my best friend defended.
"We have to make your father cry," Gaius added gently.
"He does not care about me anymore!" Arthur argued, not really masking the pain in his voice as he started to pace a little. My heart churned.
I slowly shuffled closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "He does care about you, Artie."
"He is under Catrina's influence," Gaius reminded him. "I have known your father for many, many years. There has never been anyone or anything he has treasured more than you."
The Prince didn't seem so sure as he averted his gaze. I gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.
"It is perfectly safe," the physician added, obviously referring to the potion. "A single drop of the antidote will reverse the effects immediately."
"Antidote? What antidote?" Arthur asked as his eyes widened. "You did not say anything about an antidote!" he called out to Merlin in alarm.
My best friend looked like a deer caught in headlights and I grinned a little at the sight. "I-I did not think it was important," he rapidly responded.
"The potion will lower your heart rate and breathing," Gaius continued to explain in a calm tone, "For all intents and purposes, you will be dead."
Like Scott in that episode of 'Teen Wolf' where they're trying to find out who the Benefactor is!
"And the antidote reverses the effects?" Arthur asked warily.
"Yes," the physician responded.
The Prince released a shaky sigh as he looked down at me again. I gave him a reassuring nod and squeezed his shoulder once more.
"If it is administered in time," Gaius unnecessarily added and I raised an eyebrow at him. He really needed to say that?!
"If it is not?" Arthur questioned him as his eyes widened once more.
The physician produced a sheepish look, "You will be dead."
"You just said it was not important!" Arthur yelled at Merlin, making a forward movement that caused me to drop my hand.
"Uh, all right, I suppose it is a bit important," the sorcerer mumbled and I snorted.
The Prince rolled his eyes and turned around while hiding his face in his hands in a show of exasperation.
"We won't let anything happen to you, Art," I assured him.
"Merlin and Astra will have the antidote," Gaius continued to explain. "Once I have administered the poison–" My eyes widened and I threw my arms in frustration. "Um, the potion," he quickly corrected, "they will have half an hour to get it to you."
Arthur dropped his hands and looked towards Merlin with a huff of disbelief, then he looked down at me, his features softening a bit; then he looked back at his servant. "Do not be late," he demanded, pointing a menacing finger.
"Am I ever?" my best friend responded with a little grin.
"Yes," I said under my breath.
"Astra!" he protested.
"What? You asked!"
The Prince's pretty eyes darted between us for a few moments and I cowered slightly, then he sighed and moved closer to Gaius while reaching for the potion, but the elderly man moved it out of the way with a cautionary look.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.
Arthur shrugged, "It is the only way to save Camelot."
With that, Gaius surrendered the vial to him and he grabbed it without hesitation, quickly taking off the lid.
"Wait–" I stopped him as my heart began to race. I mean, I have faith that this will play out the way we're hoping it does, but it's still scary to think that we'll push him so close to death!
He paused and turned to me, looking slightly concerned. I glanced towards my former roomies for a moment, then I pushed myself to get over the possibility of getting teasing comments later and quickly wrapped my arms around Arhur's torso in a firm hug. He returned the embrace immediately and I drew in a deep inhale, taking note of his manly scent.
"Okie dokie," I breathed out as I pushed away before too long. "Let's get rid of your smelly stepmother."
That pulled a chuckle from the three males and the Prince gave me a heart-warming smile before releasing a long sigh and finally taking the lid off the vial. He made a toasting motion, which was puzzling considering what's about to happen, and then he downed the potion in a single gulp; instantly scrunching up his face in displeasure.
The four of us remained still as we waited for the potion to take effect, and Arthur shrugged after a few moments. Then he went completely still and I swallowed thickly. Then he fell forwards. Luckily, Merlin and Gaius were quick to catch him and they gently laid him down on the floor.
I felt myself freeze and my heart start to race as I stared at his open but unresponsive eyes. Gaius gently closed them and I let out a shaky breath. He does look dead. "That's terrifying," I mumbled to myself.
"Time to break the bad news to Uther," Gaius stated. I turned my attention to him and watched as he handed Merlin the antidote.
I puffed and scanned Arthur's face one last time before moving over to my best friend and linking my arm with his.
We waited while hiding behind a column, and, after some minutes, we spotted Gaius and Uther hastily making their way towards the Prince's room. I grinned to myself a little. The plan is going according to plan!
No more than a minute later, Gaius's arm peeked out of the room and he made a motion indicative that it was time to get the antidote to Arthur, so we took off running… only to slide to a stop when Jonas jumped out of nowhere to block our path – much like he'd done some days prior.
"Sh*t," I muttered.
I gasped when Merlin suddenly shoved the vial into my hand a moment before he charged at the humanoid thing. "Astra, run!"
So run I did, and I sprinted the rest of the short way towards the Prince's room while mentally praying that my best friend would be able to hold off Jonas.
I entered to find Uther and the troll arguing about 'repulsiveness' while tears streamed from the King's eyes. At least the enchantment's broken! I set my eyes on Arthur and rushed to drop to my knees beside him while opening the vial. His near-purple lips and blanched skin are a sight I never want to see again!
"Guards!" Uther suddenly yelled out. "Seize… it!"
I carefully lifted Arthur's head and gently pressed the vial to his mouth, letting the liquid pour in.
"C'mon, Artie," I whispered, feeling my arms shaking out of fear that the antidote wouldn't work.
My heart raced as a struggle raged on between a pair of guards and 'Catrina'.
"A-astra?" the Prince croaked out, making my eyes snap towards him again. I sighed in relief and promptly moved to try to help him up – but, obviously, my arms can hardly carry his weight.
I bit down on my bottom lip when I noticed that the troll had managed to knock out the guards.
Merlin suddenly appeared beside me and gave me a reassuring nod as he used his superior manly strength to get Arthur to his feet.
The Prince dashed to help his father – whom 'Catrina' had backed up against a wall – and charged at it, but it saw him coming and stopped the attack by elbowing him in the stomach. He doubled over in pain.
I clutched Merlin's arm tightly as my heart-rate accelerated even more.
'Catrina' grabbed Arthur by the neck. "Is that any way to treat your dear old stepmother?" she snarled before sending him flying towards a wall.
"Art!" I gasped and barely escaped my best friend's attempt to hold me back as I ran towards him. However, before I could reach him, Jonas sprung out of nowhere (again!) with a dagger and I halted. I did the first thing I could think of and grabbed a sword that one of the guards had dropped before slashing it at the strange creature. His focus left Arthur when I managed to nick his arm, prompting me to smirk a little – I'm like a knight now! The distraction gave Arthur enough time to snap back to reality and he easily knocked down Jonas, swiftly killing him with his own dagger.
The Prince quickly took the sword from my hands and moved me behind him as he turned towards an approaching troll… who conveniently slipped on a carpet and hit the ground backwards with a thud. He didn't hesitate for a second before bringing the sword down on her chest.
'Catrina's' eyes widened as she gasped, then her face contorted in what might've been pain, and an orchestra of flatulence left her, causing me to cover my nose while scrunching up my face in disgust.
The troll died before long.
"Consider that a divorce from Utah," I referenced Quaid from 'Total Recall' in a mumble that was muffled by the sleeve of my hoodie.
"Y'know, we should've kept its head as a trophy n' mounted it on a wall," I mentioned to Merlin as he walked me back to my room the next morning after I'd spent a good chunk of the night helping him to dispose of the troll's body. It hadn't been a pleasant task, and we were both covered in sweat and mud; but I figured that I owed it to him since I'd run out when he'd been forced to try the yucky potion.
"Astra, that is disgusting!" he whined in response, his nose scrunching up.
I bursted out laughing.
"How funny would that have been, though?" I asked with a giggle. "We could've placed it in Uther's room as a reminder to never doubt Gaius again."
My best friend rolled his eyes in amusement and we chuckled together for a moment. "I guess it would be a unique addition to the hunting prizes," he noted.
We turned the corner towards my room and I halted when I spotted Arthur leaning against the door, seemingly waiting for me. I grimaced and looked down at myself, taking note of all the grime that covered me. I really wish he wouldn't see me in this state, but I guess he's seen me in much worse circumstances. My over-exposing PJs when Lancelot and Merlin killed the gryphon come to mind…
My best friend nudged my side and I let out a shaky breath before continuing to walk.
"Hey, Artie…" I greeted in an almost meek manner, suddenly feeling really conscious of my messy hair and stained clothes.
"Astra," the Prince responded with a small smile. Then he glanced at Merlin for a moment. "Merlin," he grunted.
My best friend raised his hands in surrender. "I will leave you two to talk," he stated before scurrying away.
Nothing else was said for a few moments and I shifted awkwardly, wanting nothing more than to take a warm bath and change into clean clothes.
Arthur stepped closer to me and I cowered a little, fearing that he could smell all the sweat that came with having to dig a hole in the woods and carry a freaking troll into it. "You did not join us for breakfast this morning," he stated.
"I was busy helpin' Merls bury your stepmother," I responded with a shrug. "And I don't think your dad would've appreciated all the jokes I needed to get out."
He laughed an endearing laugh that could probably kickstart a failing heart and I smiled at the sound.
A moment later, he turned serious and stepped even closer, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder as he spoke softly, "I am sorry that I doubted you. Camelot is, once again, forever in your debt."
"S'all right," I waved him off. "I believe you learned a valuable lesson."
He snorted, "Which is?"
"To never, ever doubt Merls n' I 'cause we're always right," I responded with a smirk.
"Always?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Every single time," I answered. "Without a doubt, unfailingly, invariably, eternally–"
"All right, you cheeky woman," he cut me off and pulled me in for a hug.
My body tensed up and my eyes widened in horror as I instantly protested, "Dude! I'm all dirty!"
"I do not care," he responded in a mumble while tucking my head under his chin.
I huffed, but didn't fight his hold and simply waited until he had enough so that I could hasten away and have my well-deserved bath.