Author's Note: JUICINESS ahead! Rating is definitely M! Please watch your step. Steaminess ahead! You have been warned!
The hand held out in front of her was illuminated by some sort of light. She knew she needed to hold him, just one more time. Threading her fingers through his he began to actively hold her hand back.
Spike's hand.
A fire engulfed both of their hands as she felt herself begin to cry.
Nothing made sense.
Not the emotions she suddenly felt, or the fact that she would even be holding Spike's hand.
But at the same time it all made sense. It sudden was very clear.
One overwhelming emotion surged through her, and she almost wanted to laugh as she felt it.
The look in his eyes as he looked at her…only solidified it to her. In one second she just knew. Felt it down to her core, to the tips of her fingers…every cell in her body letting her know the emotion was right…it wasn't wrong in the least.
And it finally came out of her mouth…wavering with the emotions she felt…not something that she could keep bottled up a second longer.
"I love you."
Buffy shot up in bed gasping, complete horror and a feeling of 'oh god no' filling her very being.
She continued to gasp as she looked around the room and then next to her - where a sleeping Riley lay under the covers…naked.
Oh god…I just dreamed about saying I love you to Spike…and I just made love to Riley.
The wave of utter wrongness about the situation hit her like a freight train.
She sooo did not love Spike!
Oh god! Eww!
He was evil! Soulless! He had tried to KILL her soooo many times!
But the dream had felt soo real! It had felt like…no…it…it couldn't have been! A…a slayer dream?! No. Just no. It was impossible!
She did not love Spike!
But the emotion she had felt had stayed with her as she woke up. She had known! Known without a shadow of doubt that she loved Spike. Buffy closed her eyes and slowly let out a breath trying to calm herself.
It was just a dream. Just a dream.
But the look on his face! How could she have imagined his face looking like that?!. Saying the three words to him had sent a surge of emotions that rivaled what she had ever felt for anyone. She thought she knew what it felt like to be in love. But what went through her the second she had said the words to him. It was stronger than anything she had ever felt in her life.
No! No! Just no! This was not happening! Not happening!
She just….she….she couldn't be.
Could she?
Buffy's mind was going every which way when Riley moved next to her and she barely held back jumping from him as he adjusted in his sleep.
Closing her eyes briefly she tried to calm down her racing heart. A heart that suddenly wanted a peroxide bleached head next to her and not Riley's brown locks. Why in the world would she want that?!
She slowly laid back down as her eyes stayed wide open as she looked up at the ceiling.
Maybe…maybe it was an after effect of Willow's spell. Maybe it was because of Riley taking her into the Initiative base! If…Professor Walsh had talked about the behavior modification chip… that's why Spike was in the back of her mind…no…no not while she was with Riley…unconsciously…she had…
Ok wait.
For one slight second….not even! Not even. Maybe like..a…a millisecond she realized she'd never be able to fight Spike again. And…and she had…she had felt angry.
Angry at Professor Walsh, angry at Riley. Angry that they had taken away the one person she had thought worthy of fighting her.
So maybe…maybe that feeling had somehow…in her brain…been all mushed together with Riley and angry and….
Ok…that didn't make any sense.
She didn't realize how long she stayed awake trying to think of any excuse she could justify her mind associating the word love with Spike. And every time she thought of him, her heart would start to run faster…keeping her wide awake. Every time she looked over at Riley she felt a guilt she had never felt before, so she rolled over on her side to stop from feeling it. She debated leaving…but knew she couldn't do that to Riley. He had done nothing wrong…and she knew what if felt like to have that happen to you.
She just wasn't going to do it to him. Things were already bad as they were.
Somehow…she had fallen asleep, and she knew she was dreaming again. Oh boy she knew she was dreaming.
Her arms were wrapped around him holding him to her as he continued to thrust into her.
She'd never felt anything this good before.
Every movement of his inside her should could feel in bright detail.
She felt every thrust into her body building higher and higher at the give and pull of her flesh against his. Spike's lips were against her ear saying the filthiest of words to her…and to her surprise…it turned her on in a way nothing else had.
Her hands went to the globes of his ass, helping him push into her, knowing that she was about to orgasm and wanting him there with her. Wanting to feel what she did to him.
Hearing him gasp for breath that he didn't need only made her counter his thrust harder and faster. He felt incredible.
She could feel his muscles straining in her hands as he pushed into her. Hear the way his own breathing began to be gasps along with hers, not being able to keep speaking as he neared his release.
His lips were kissing her throat and chest and no fear was felt in the slightest.
The orgasm hit her out of nowhere, even as Spike continued to move in her which only thrilled her the more.
Twisting her head she snagged his lips in a passionate kiss and pulled back and teased his lips as he continued to move in her, watching the way his face looked tortured in these few seconds before he went over.
She couldn't stop touching him as he strove to find his own release.
One word on his lips just before he…
"Buffy."
Her eyes snapped open.
Her body still rocking from the feeling of an incredibly strong orgasm through her entire body.
The sunny room disoriented her for few seconds until she remembered where she was, trying to regain control of her body. Hastily she turned and found Riley smiling at her. Guilt coiled in her stomach instantly.
"Hey. What's the matter? Weren't expecting to see me?" A big smile graced his face with such happiness reflecting in his eyes.
Oh God why is this happening?!
Buffy tried to control her reaction…knowing she couldn't hurt him like this.
She let a little smile grace her face as she looked at him and then said in all honesty, "I never know what to expect." The smile falling from her face as she saw how he looked at her.
Oh boy. This is bad. This is really bad.
Her body was still very much reeling from the dream that really felt like a slayer dream with Spike and moving in her and…
Riley must have read her expression because suddenly he was kissing her.
It was all she could do to reciprocate it, even as her mind immediately told her that the lips were not the ones she wanted to be kissing.
Thank god for the stupid chirping that caused Riley to pull away.
"Your robot bird sounds hungry." She tried to joke with a smile, hoping to God he didn't feel how not into the kiss she was.
It did the trick. He laughed and turned as he said, "It's just a reminder to take my vitamins."
"You're kidding." Buffy sat up laughing, and trying to look all happy as her heart hammered in her chest at wanting to be anywhere but there at the moment.
The next minute was spent trying to overcome what she had just dreamed, trying to be with Riley and joking about him being a soldier…which brought her back to what Willow had said the night prior.
"What's 314?"
And within a minute he was gone, and she had never been more relieved in her entire life.
The smile had instantly fallen from her face as her mind continued to think one thing!
What the hell was going on?!
Author's Note: Come on people...the reversal of things happening to Buffy in this one has to be some kind of Spuffy record! Tell me if you loved it!