Ok guys. This chapter had 3 rewrites...so I hope it was worth the wait. No there is a Warning to this chapter..graphic scene ahead! Please be forewarned that things don't actually go horribly bad in this chapter...but stuff that may be uncomfortable to read for some is in this chapter. I honestly believe that I needed to go this route for Faith. You guys tell me if I'm right or wrong.

Spike couldn't stop pacing in his crypt, completely anxious and nervous that Faith wouldn't return.

He was going through all of his contingency plans in his mind. All of the options that he had mapped out over and over and over again until they had ingrained themselves into his mind.

Despite them all, he hoped and prayed that he didn't need to rely on the contingencies.

It wasn't that he didn't know if they would work where the one he had tried had failed. It was that after all the planning…this had been the absolute best choice.

After everything that he had known, after everything that they had compiled together, this was the best course of action.

They had risked undoing history to make things better, for everyone. Risked the PTB going after them, the demon's council's interference, and the fate of humanity knowing about the supernatural world. They had put everything on the table to reverse what had been done.

At the very moment the only being he had relied on after years of being alone was currently a person that he couldn't even call and speak with. At that very moment she not only couldn't stand the sight of him…she thought he was pure evil.

He rolled his eyes at himself.

There was a time when the thought alone would bring a smile to his face. Now all he could do was grimace and wince when thinking of the things that he had done.

The door to the crypt opened and Spike had to jump back as the sunlight had hit his skin and had caused him to sizzle.

"DOOR!" Spike screamed, making Faith's eyes open wide and quickly turn and shut the door.

"Sorry." Faith said softly as she turned to watch Spike patting himself down as little licks of fire were on his flesh.

"S'ok pet." Spike said instantly looking up and smiling up at her, even as the look of sadness and pain filled Faith's face.

Literally…Faith's face.

It's what caused his smile.

"See your back to being your gorgeous self." Spike said with a smile still on his face, a smile that held no sexuality to it, purely happiness emanating from him.

Faith looked up with a little upset look at his words, thinking he was being sarcastic. But when she saw the real smile on his face, she knew he wasn't being sarcastic.

Spike's smile began to fade when he saw that Faith was really upset. Not really looking into his eyes at all.

"Hey…you alright?" Spike said as he moved closer to Faith.

Faith was afraid to actually speak. She had wrapped her arms around herself, almost as if she were cold. Her shoulder twitched up in a sort of shrug, making Spike understand that she was anything but alright.

Faith looked up at him for a second and then back down…and he knew immediately she was scared to tell him what had happened.

"Faith…hey…look at me pet." Spike said leaning his own head down to try and catch her eyes.

"Not gonna judge you pet. Told you. I'm here for you." Spike said with a soft look on his face, showing Faith that he was being upfront and honest with her.

A little laugh came out of Faith, "Yeah…well…you may not think that way as soon as…"

"As soon as I find out that you fought Buffy and she somehow figured out a way to switch back with you? Yeah pet…kind of obvious with you being in your own skin." Spike blinked and pulled his head back and was finally looking at her eye to eye without slouching. "Don't mean I'm gonna turn against you."

Suddenly the look of anger flashed across Faith's face. Her arms broke away from her in an open arm gesture. "Why not?"

Dropping her arms she continued with an angry look to her face. "You said you loved her! What the hell kind of love do you feel for her if you side with her enemy!"

"YOUR NOT HER ENEMY!" Spike screamed at her and then screwed his eyes closed tightly as his nostrils flared as he tried to control his breathing.

"What the hell am I then?! I'm not her friend! I'm sure as hell not her sister like you think I am! Buffy turned her back on me just like everyone else did! SHE turned her back on me…"

"She cares about you more than she cares about herself! She…she bloody well cared about a man she didn't even bloody know because every person…EVERY person that she couldn't save makes her feel like she's a failure. And you know what…after what you just did…I know for a fact that you're exactly the same! You killed a man and brushed it off as if it didn't mean anything…but you and I…yeah well…we both know that's far from true."

Faith said nothing…staring at him and shaking her head just barely.

"It hurt you more than you ever let Buffy know!" Spike snarled the words, knowing every little detail from the future and taking full advantage of it.

"You knew telling Giles it was Buffy wouldn't work. You KNEW it! You know Buffy never would have turned you into the bloody Council! Hell she bloody didn't even tell Giles…and he's the only father's she's bloody well had half her life!" Spike's arm kept waving around as he made his points, even as Faith looked at anything but him.

"Of course you think she's little Ms. Perfect. It's why you fell in love with her…isn't it?" Faith turned her head and looked at Spike with mild disgust.

And that seemed to jog Spike out of his head as he looked at Faith. As much as he knew about her…as much as he knew HER…he also knew that the one thing she had never shared had been spelled out in soo many ways to soo many of the people that had been close to her…and yet they never saw the signs right in front of them.

"She loves YOU Faith." Spike felt the emotions well up in himself. "Despite everything she never wanted to give up on you. Even though you never told her the truth about you."

"Heh! Oh…and what truth is that?" Faith giving a fake laugh and asked angry at the man before her…walking close to him, feeling her anger winning over the fact that Spike had been the first one to tell her what happened wasn't her fault.

Spike felt the demon in him battling the soul…walking back from her he tried to keep his thoughts. Tried to tell the demon that William knew what it wanted would hurt the girl far more than help her.

But the demon knew all there was to know about pain. Knew how low a person could go before ever reaching up for help. And the demon knew…how to make Faith open up about why she was the way she was.

Help the girl.

It was the thought that repeated over and over in his mind. Horrified that he knew what to do to make her finally stop running from what she was really hiding.

Spike took a deep breath and held it…wanting to suddenly throw up. He never…ever wanted to do this…but Faith needed to face it.

"Help the girl."

Faith furrowed her brows as she heard the whispered words. Then stared worriedly as he raised his head and his light blue eyes shone with unshed tears.

"Don't want to do this pet…but you need to face this more than I hate doing it."

And then he was on her.

His yellow eyes shone brightly right in front of her own and the fear of death was nothing compared to what she felt when he wedged himself between her legs as he held her down.

"GET OFF ME! YOU DON'T GET TO TOUCH ME! YOU DON'T GET TO TOUCH ME!" Faith yelled at the top of her lungs as Spike continued to hold her down on the crypt floor.

Faith felt like she was 11 years old again, the overwhelming fear making her heart triple in speed as she struggled against Spike.

Spike turned his head, hecouldn't look into her eyes a second longer. To see the fear there and to know what he was doing brought a level of disgust and shame in him like nothing else every could or would. But Faith would just keep running from it if he didn't.

"I get to touch you! I get to do whatever I want to you! It means nothing! You mean nothing! And you're mummy won't save you!" Spike said as he pawed at her jacket and shirt…not really trying to take it off her but knowing that the fear and hate that she had suppressed all these years was making it's way to the forefront.

And it did.

Oh how it did.

He knew that she was reliving it.

Reliving everything for all those years ago.

It came back like a flash in her mind.

As if no time had passed.

As if nothing had changed and she was still that little girl once more.

"NNOO! STOP IT! STOP IT! MOMMY! MOMMY! DON'T LET HIM DO THIS!" Faith screamed as her Slayer strength all but failed as tears of shame and fear fell from her eyes as she continued to struggle against Spike.

Spike felt like vomiting as he cried against her shoulder. She had told him how her mother had used her for alcohol and drug money. How she had used her as a child prostitute to keep them always just shy of being thrown out on the streets.

Spike had wanted to find the bastards that had touched her like that.

To have been a victim for soo many years…and then have all the power in the world to hurt the men that had misused her…it had made Faith uncaring of consequences and justice.

He knew exactly how she felt.

Spike had been right.

Slayer's had death wishes.

Faith's had just started before becoming one.

"I'm so sorry…" Spike said softly through his own tears as he quickly threw himself off of her, not looking at her as she immediately kicked blindly to get him away from her.

Faith scrambled away from him on the floor crying, trying to control the sobs wracking her body as she tried to rid herself of the memories his words had provoked.

Trembling…she was trembling head to toe. No other word for it.

Spike knew if he didn't do something fast she was going to run out… so he pulled himself together.

Quickly he hoisted himself up and wiped his tears away.

"Come on then. COMEONTHEN! Kick my ass! HUUURRRRTTTTMMEEEEEEE!" Spike yelled with all the anger he felt at himself. At the men that had touched her like that. Trying to provoke the Slayer in her to fight back. Trying to make her remember that she had power now. And at the moment…he felt like he needed her to hurt him to forgive himself for what he had just done.

Faith only took a few seconds to collect herself…and then the murderous gaze she gave him made Spike proud that she was able to come back from what he had just done. Proud that Faith was stronger than she even realized.

Then…she launched herself at him, swinging and punching with everything in her…and Spike didn't fight back or block her…not once.

He let her hit him and yell at him…and let everything that she had ever held in…. out…. into the air…into the world. And when each blow against him began to falter as tears and sobs wracked her body once more he slowly – as every part of him hurt with every motion- wrapped his arms around her frame slowly.

Faith was drained of all energy, and both of them fell to floor as Spike's legs finally gave out. The hands that a second ago had made her relive her worst days of existence were suddenly holding her more gently then anyone in the world had ever held her.

"It….wasn't…your…fault." Barely able to say the words with how hard she had hit his jaw.

The words were a salve to her soul.

Faith closed her eyes and let the tears fall as she wrapped her own arms around him as hard as she could.

Spike fought the pain it caused, not caring about anything but getting his point across.

The only point that mattered.

"You matter to me Faith. You matter. Won't let anyone hurt you like that again. I swear it."

Faith just closed her eyes tightly and held onto him all the more.

That's how they stayed.

On the ground for hours.

Spike crying quietly as he held her tightly shaking frame until she fell asleep against him.

Spike didn't move, even though his body desperately needed to mend after the beating Faith had unleashed. But he wasn't about to leave her even for a minute.

He knew that his father had been looking for her as well as informing Buffy that Faith was nowhere to be found.

Knew that he needed to get Faith to his father to make her say the words that would help her recover from the secrets she had held from people she cared about.

She needed to talk to professionals about what had been done to her. About how she hated men, but wanted so much to have someone that cared about her.

One thing he knew for sure.

The second his father found out about why Faith acted the way he did…Ripper would most certainly make an unscheduled appearance.

Spike wouldn't blame him one bit.

Faith slowly woke up…slightly disoriented…but oddly…she felt safe for the first time since well…forever.

Things began to clear in her head, remembering where she was…and what had happened.

Lifting her head up she looked at the badly bruised and bleeding face of the vampire that held her.

To say the least…he looked horrible.

"You alright?"

Weirdly the question came from him.

Sniffling she slowly extracted herself from his hold, which was loose and comforting - the opposite of what she would have thought possible up until today.

Despite what he had done…she honestly had never felt more at ease then at the moment.

Somehow…he had known.

He had known about what she had never said to anyone in Sunnydale. Something she had never even confessed to her first Watcher.

"How…how did you know? I never…I never told…"

"Buffy said some things…just…put two and two together." Spike tried to sound confident…but his injuries just made him sound tired.

Faith wasn't satisfied with the answer but said nothing as she slowly sat up.

Spike tried to hoist his upper body into a slightly raised position but his ribs immediately protested the movement.

The groan and hiss from his mouth before he allowed himself to once more go slack and lie down against the cold concrete ground made Faith lift his t-shirt slightly and stare and the now black and blue bruises covering his torso.

"Shit. Why didn't you defend yourself? I could have killed you." Faith said with a grimace and a little bit of shame. Definitely was a possibility of what she could have done to him. She had no clue what had stopped her.

"Deserved it pet. After…" Spike paused not wanting to say the words.

Faith didn't look up at his face as she winced.

"You didn't do anything. Not really…not like…not like them." Faith said softly.

Spike closed his eyes. Wanting to find the bastards and rip out their spines.

Demon and soul agreeing wholeheartedly at the idea – despite his soul putting in the two cents that humans that would do that do a child were obviously not really human and could be disposed of as any evil demon.

"Faith…you need to tell someone about this. Someone who isn't a living corpse."

"I can't." Whispering the words as she tried to fight the fear and loathing that she felt about herself.

"All they're gonna say is…no wonder she's soo messed up. She can't be fixed."

Spike braced himself for the pain as he made another valiant attempt to lean up.

Faith seeing what he was about to do reached out and helped him with a look of worry on her face.

"Everyone's messed up pet. It's not about being fixed. It's about being perfectly imperfect and unapologetic about it. You don't need fixing pet. You need listening. Need people that actually care about you to shut their gob…and just listen to you."

Faith felt pain in her heart as one thought repeated in her brain. "I don't think anyone still cares about me after what I did."

Faith watch Spike slowly shake his head as a small sad smile formed on his face. "I care pet. I'll always care."

Looking up into his eyes with a vulnerability she had never allowed anyone to see she asked the question again…wanting a real answer from him.

"Why?"

Spike shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Because Faith… if Buffy sees you as a sister…that means you're my sister too. Despite what you may think…not everyone wants to get in your pants. And if someone tries I'll chop their bloody hands off!" Spike said as he struggled to keep himself from passing out.

"Think of me as the annoying big brother you never had." Spike winced as he tried to get off the ground, and incredibly found Faith trying to help him up.

"Why are you even moving?! I know I broke some ribs! You need to stay down." Faith said as she found herself helping him stand. His words not lost on her as he wrapped his arm over her shoulder to try and keep himself upright.

"Shouldn't be helping me pet…not after what I just did." Spike said softly with a flexing of his slowly mending jaw, angry at himself and disgusted by his own actions.

"Look…like you said," Faith paused briefly trying to muster up the confidence to say the words, "I'm a Slayer. And if I wanted to…you'd be dust right now. But…you care about B. And…" Faith looked up into his eyes, "And as much as I blamed her…I think I hated myself more…and I kind of blamed her for it."

Spike stared at Faith with wide eyes. Not just rendered speechless…but awed that Faith had had a revelation that he thought he was going to have to work with her on.

Faith gave a little wicked smile that actually reached her eyes. "Hey I got brains as well as beauty bub."

Spike slowly smiled and shook his head, "Thought I was gonna have to beat that idea into your head somehow."

"Nah…I kind of figured it out on my own. Just…didn't want to admit to it. You know?"

Spike nodded his head, and then groaned as it caused pain.

"Damn you are stupid. Why the hell did you do it?" Faith asked as she helped him move slowly to the chair he had in the corner.

"Mind tellin' me why your not snapping my neck instead of helpin' me?" Spike cocked his head and looked at her through black eyes to see the look of confusion on her own face.

"I reckon we both think the same thing." Spike said and then allowed his eyes to close and allowed himself to rest.

"Give us a tick to rest love. Then we stop by the Watcher and explain to him what's what." His energy having been depleted by just taking the Slayer's blows.

"You mean Giles? Huh…no…no way! Why the hell should I tell him it was me…" Faith pointed to herself when Spike cut her off.

"Not about switchin' with Buffy…" opening his eyes he gave her a look that was no nonsense. A look that was almost challenging. Daring her to speak to Giles about what had just happened he knew would bring out the inner rebel in Faith, and maybe it could save her for once her life.

Faith's face froze, understanding exactly what he meant. "You want me to tell him what you…"

"Would you have preferred me to have done that in front of him?" Spike cut off her question, knowing that delaying this was not something they could do.

Faith winced. No. No she would not have preferred that. If anything…she would have hated Spike a thousand times worse than Buffy if he had.

"Right." Spike drew out the word. " That's why you're going to tell him. Don't reckon you'd want me to so…"

"NO! I mean…no. No I…" Faith was suddenly found herself fiddling with her fingers, and looking down in a shy embarrassed way.

"He judges you and I'll rip his head off…" Spike said as he closed his eyes again, the need to sleep off the pain overwhelming.

Faith's head whipped up. "You would?"

"No." Spike shighed sleepily, "couldn't hurt him. Even if I wanted to." He was on the cusp of sleep, but knew Faith needed to feel safe about telling his father.

" Forgot….you're chip boy now, right? Wait…" Faith suddenly furrowed her eyebrows as her face took on a look of fear. It suddenly occurred to her…

"How could you have just attacked me without your chip firing?"

"No intention of hurting you." Spike said slowly as he finally drifted off to sleep.

Faith stood their…not knowing how to take everything in. A huge part of her was telling her to run. NOW.

But there was this other part. This part of her that for once was trying to make her stay where she was. To stay with the one person that had said they cared about her.

Cared about her and had not…not done…what the other men had done.

Faith finally looked back at Spike…who looked like a beat up dead guy.

How strange was it that the one person who understood her most was a vampire.

Beyond. Wigsome.

But…he said he would be like a brother to her. Huh. A much older and punk rock brother obviously. And he was kinda stupid already.

Faith smirked.

Yeah. Definite brother vibes.

Shame really.

Maybe if things had been different…

Faith shook her head.

Wouldn't have mattered. He was in love with Buffy.

Got a soul for her and everything.

I swear 'B' one day I wanna know how you do it. I can't get one regular guy to fall in love with me…but you get all these cuties to wanna be with you.

Then she remembered what he had said, the way he had looked…

"I'm a vampire. A dead thing. Know I'm not good enough for her. But I'm not about to abandon her like Captain Forehead did." Spike looked up at her with a soft look in his eyes. "Are you?"

So Faith slowly lowered herself to sit down on the ground next to Spike, using the side of the chair as a head rest.

She would wait for him to wake up. Then…then she'd go to Giles with him.

He had gained himself a sister today.

Hopefully…they didn't kill each other. Maybe.

Closing her own eyes, she let herself rest for just a little while longer.

Everything in her knowing it was going to be a long night.

Author's Note: Love it or hate that is how I see how it could go down! REVIEW and let me know if I suck or not!