Chapter 5
Despite her various misgivings regarding Berserker, at the end of the day she was still her Servant, so she decided that she needed to know more about her. As a result, she was sitting on her bed that was nearly twice that of a normal king size. Sitting beside her on the bed was Berserker, wolfing down German sweets in an unhurried and swift manner. The Bienenstich, Rote Grütze with ice-cream, Käsekuchen and more were disappearing at a disturbingly fast pace into her Servants stomach. However, something seemed different from when she was black bean buns earlier. She vaguely had the feeling that Berserker was dissatisfied with the sweets she was eating. But why? Even though they weren't exactly produced by a 3-star Michelin chef, they were still high quality baked goods made with some of the finest ingredients available to the Einzberns. Wait, that wasn't what she wanted to know. Taking a deep breath, Illya decided to start talking.
Cutting straight to the chase, she asked:
"What's your True Name?"
"Heroine X Alter. Ber-Saber class servant, probably."
The straightforward answer threw Illya off balance before she recovered.
"What? That can't be right please answer me seriously. Also, what do you mean you're Saber class? You're clearly a Berserker no matter what you try to tell me."
She double checked just to make sure.
Class: Berserker
Master: Illyasviel von Einzbern
True Name: Mysterious Heroine X (Alter)
"See, you're a Berser-" and then Illya checked again to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.
And then she checked a third time.
"But you can also call me MHX if you want to. Also, isn't it a little bit too cold here, Master? It's almost as cold H*th, and that planet was an ice cube with barely enough life to fill a space cruiser."
Illya made a controlled effort to reduce the brain rushing to her head as she tried to understand what she had just said. H*th? Space cruiser? MHX? What the hell was she even talking about, a different planet? The little Illya think tank in her brain was furiously scribbling down the information as they tried to make deductions and hypotheses on what her Servant was talking about, from theories ranging from the possibility that she had accidentally summoned a robot from the future to it being the Kaleidoscope messing with her.
"You don't know what I'm talking about?
-Don't think. Feel."
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Illya instantly face-planted into the bed and started screaming as hard as she could into the bed sheets before she went insane. All her life she had been trained and taught to become the ultimate master, a weapon for the Einzberns. Yet, fate chose to give her this incomprehensible and uncooperative Berserker who like black bean buns. Clearly, this would be the timeline that Zelretch frequently visited since it was so messed up. Her expectations were completely let down by this "Mysterious Heroine X (Alter)". Who shamelessly asked for all the sweets in the castle to be delivered here to serve as "fuel for the Altreactor". In fact, all of Illya's beloved black bean buns had disappeared into a gastronomical black hole.
In the end, after a few more seemingly profound and yet inscrutable answers to her questions, she decided to go to sleep early, mainly because dealing with Berserker was too mentally taxing, while her internal supply of od was also being siphoned to her Servant. Berserker went into spirit form to save energy as she climbed into bed, burying herself in the fluffy pillows as she slowly nodded off to sleep. As she went into the land of dreams, she reflected that Berserker at least lived up to the reputation of them being notoriously hard to communicate with.