Cecile
Meanwhile, since a little after one o'clock, Lily had been locked in her four-poster bed in the fifth-year Gryff girls' dormitory, trying to distract herself from her worries by reading the notes on the part of the Couple of the Red Magic that Sev had given her through Genevre the night before, of course, without success, because everything she read reminded her of Sev and Sirius.
Around three o'clock, Cecile entered the bedroom and bonded with her. "Lily?" dry. "Are you in your bed?"
"Yes, Cecile," Lily responded.
"And what are you doing locked up there, with the beautiful day there is?"
"I'm reading the notes on Red Magic that Genevre gave me last night."
"That Sev gave you, Lily," blunt and recriminatory. "Genevre was only the messenger, don't avoid the topic."
"Boof… Cecile…" pleading. "Don't make me talk about that, please…"
"But you are torturing yourself by reading that right now. Come on, open the canopy and let's have a serious talk face to face."
"No, Cecile, please… I can't tell you everything that's happening…"
"Lily, I can already smell it. It's not that I smell it, I know it for sure. Talk to me, because Remus tried to do it with Sirius, who didn't say a word and went to the Quidditch pitch. And he sure isn't as stupid as you, he must already be telling Sev everything."
Lily opened the canopy curtain and Cecile sat on the bed facing her.
"Come on, start at the beginning," said her friend.
"I fell in love with Sirius when I started dealing with him."
"You fell into his trap, like everyone else, like anyone else."
"It wasn't that, Cecile, Sirius is extraordinary, really."
"I already told you that he is, much more than you, he is not disloyal."
"Cecile, don't be hard on me, I'm in a mess."
"I have to be, Lily," much harder, almost exasperated. "You have to clarify yourself before Wednesday. Remember. Sev and your parents. Sev and his mother. Sev and his brother. You're going to ruin the whole plan."
"You're right."
"Then wake up. You have never been beaten in your life, and from what I see, you only learn the hard way, the beatings that others have received are not worth it, as I have been able to do learning from Sev and Remus. You are very silly, Lily."
"Indeed I am, I don't deserve Sev," scared.
"Of course you don't deserve him," vehement and threatening. "I've known that for a long time, ever since you started talking to me about him and I found out what your relationship had been like. He has spent seven years of his life giving you and only you, everything he had, which was little, yes, because he only received beatings. Working from dawn to dusk to conquer you. Six years, Lily, settling for only your friendship, even giving up his way of life so as not to compete with you. And what have you done for him?" mocking, "Fall in love and save him from being a Death Eater?" And bluntly again, "But you didn't even do it for him, you did it for yourself, you didn't have to work at all, you didn't do anything on your part, you didn't work at all." And vehement again, "Of course you don't deserve him."
"Why have you never told me until now, Cecile?"
"Because I was giving you time. One may not be deserving and work hard to be so, as I try to do every day and I know I am achieving it. Did you even notice how handsome he was yesterday?"
"I did."
"But you didn't tell him, you only had eyes for Sirius."
"It wasn't because of that, Cecile, it was because I hadn't enough time."
"Excuses. You had your chance when we did the comedy with Hippolyta. You're very slow-minded, Lily. We planned it, but not exactly what we were going to say to each other, and you saw how the chit reacted. Instantly, three good cuts, she really works on it."
"Of course. I was very shy by the way she spoke to me, Cecile."
"You weren't shy at all, you laughed like everyone else."
"It's true, you're right."
"Don't lie to me, Lily, that way we won't clarify things."
"It's just that you don't give me any time to think and remember it."
"Well, you've had plenty of time since you came up from the Hall, which I've been doing while Remus was trying to chat with Sirius. Work on it."
"You're right, Cecile."
"And know that I am not doing it for you at all, none of the three of us are doing it, you don't deserve us either."
"Don't tell me that, Cecile."
"I'm telling you, I'm telling you, so that you take a hard hit, because you're going to be left alone."
"Booff…"
"Even Sirius, who has been dealing with Sev for less than a month, is working hard, but much harder than you. Putting everything on the table, without even knowing that we have saved his life. He does know how to appreciate him. You do not."
"You are absolutely right, Cecile."
"Have you bonded with Sev in the Great Hall?"
"He did it."
"And what did you feel about him at that moment?" Cecile asked.
"That I had stopped loving him, I only wanted him as a friend."
"How you've screwed up, Lily!" she gestured with her hands. "If you felt that way, why haven't you gone down to lunch later or at least tried to talk to me before going down?"
"Because I've been chatting with Sirius and we've gone down to lunch together."
"And what have you talked to Sirius about?"
"He has given me a good scolding for last night," Lily responded.
"Oh… one who knows what to do, not like you. He's going to get over you."
"Yes, he already told me, to clarify my ideas, that continuing with me seemed to be disloyal to Sev."
"Because Sirius puts friendship before women, as it should be," Cecile opined. "You should already know him, you have lived with him for five years."
"You're right."
"And despite last night and that, you have not recovered what you felt for Sev."
"No, Cecile."
"Lily, you don't know yourself. Your characteristic, fidelity. You're monogamous, you can't be with two guys at the same time. If you fall in love with one, you fall out of love with the other completely."
"I have very little experience, Cecile."
"As much or more than me, but that, at least, I know about myself. Do you think I haven't been tempted by Sev? Since I met him, but we will never have anything, out of respect for Remus."
"But he encouraged me to be with Sirius…"
"Was he the one who suggested it to you?"
"No, Cecile, it was me."
"There you have it, he always puts you ahead of himself. But last night he stopped doing it and I think he's not going to turn back now, huh? Because it seems to me that he is also monogamous and he has finally found someone who is his equal. A fourteen-year-old child. He's not doing it because he itches down there, like he's been doing with the older girls in his House. While he was with them he did not stop loving you, he only stopped feeling desire for you for a few days when he found a pure and innocent love, like the one he had for you for more than six years, that is his ideal. Sev is above all that, he would be able to spend his entire life without doing it to be faithful to a love like that. You've known him since you were nine years old and you don't know him."
"You are absolutely right, Cecile."
"And at lunch you finished screwing it up. I want you to show me the conversation you had."
"Alright." Lily did it, Cecile waited for her to finish.
"He has still bonded with you to ask for your forgiveness, after what you did yesterday, I already tell you that you don't deserve him," Cecile reiterated.
"But I have been honest, I have admitted how badly I behaved."
"And you have left him crying, without even trying to comfort him, without telling him that you are in a mess like what happened to him and giving him some hope. Indeed he has felt empty. Seven years of his life thrown away. How did he feel about you?"
"He still loves me, as always," Lily responded.
"Booff… poor boy… he must be knackered, destroyed. Do you realize, Lily? With what attitude is he going to face now what awaits him as soon as he returns home? Have you tried bonding with him again?"
"No, because shortly after Deborah bonded with me to tell me off and she told me not to even think about bonding with him again."
"He vented to Deborah immediately, he did very well," said Cecile. "Another who doesn't feel itchy down there, she understands him perfectly. She really loves him and she deserves him, even if she can't have him. She lives for him. Because Sev is destined for many people to live for him, just as he lives for many people, for those who need him most at all times, he puts himself last in line."
"You're right."
"You can forget about both of them for a long time, they must have already colluded so that neither of them pays any attention to you. You're going to spend the summer alone in that regard. If you were so itchy down there, scratch it. You will have plenty of time to clear your ideas."
"I already smelled it, Cecile, and it's what I deserve."
"Of course it is what you deserve. You have no idea what a serious loss you have suffered by letting yourself be carried away by your impulses. Sev is exceptional, the most exceptional of all of us, you had him for yourself and you have not known how to keep him, because you have not known how to know him and give him what he needed at all times. Because when he started hanging out with other girls you didn't know how to win him back with what really hooked him on you. Your innocence, your purity. You became like everyone else, and he may be a sex machine physically, but he is not one emotionally. At the same time that he is very strong, he is very fragile, you had to be strong for him and you have screwed it up many times. He has had to continue taking care of you, instead of learning to take care of yourself, as Hippolyta is doing at a forced pace, so as not to be a worry for him. A fourteen-year-old child."
"You are absolutely right, Cecile."
"Go forgetting about him, because even if Hippolyta doesn't work out for him, he won't lack love, now that he has discovered that there are more people in the world who are worth it besides you. Your great stroke of luck was meeting him in that park in your city when he had no one else, you have also thrown seven years away."
"Indeed I have, Cecile."
"And you will be very lucky if Sirius wants something with you again, because Sev finds him a partner quickly, huh? As long as he doesn't spend the summer alone."
"Of course."
"Tomorrow you will check it out at the party, because I am sure that he has invited him," Cecile continued. "You will see what attention the two of them are going to pay you. You thought you had two and you're left without one. They were too big for you, Lily, both of them, you're not up to par with either of them. Think about Potter because you're going to be alone."
"Potter never."
"Well, he is the one who would be for you. He is the one who would have been for you if you had not fallen in love with Sev, make that clear, because you are not a person who chooses, but you let yourself be carried away by what they feel for you and Potter's insistence would have ended up winning you over. Sev would have become a Death Eater and you would have died in the war just like Potter, leaving an orphaned son. I'm clairvoyant too, you know, like Remus, we've talked about it many times. You are very stupid Lily, you would have died in your early twenties. So it wasn't you who saved Sev. It was he who saved you by trying to give you that kiss that made you fall in love with him."
"How awful, Cecile, what vertigo. I think you are right."
"Of course I am. Say, how do you feel about Sev now?"
"I love him again with all my soul."
"Oh… look where. Instead of chatting with me before going down to lunch and not completely scrwewing it up. Now he's going to have all afternoon to strategize with Sirius about ignoring you. Well now fuck you, and to grieve and love him in silence like he did. Don't confuse him again, wait for him to bond with you, and if he doesn't, put up with it. To wait for him as he waited for you and to settle for what he gives you the way he settled for it, to see if this way you toughen up and finally make yourself worthy. In the meantime, Remus and I will be the ones to contact him in the Great Hall and work out a new emergency plan with Deborah. Do you give me permission to write to your parents and explain to them in my own way what has happened?"
"You got it, Cecile."
"Because Sev is going to need the support of your parents, he is going to be very, very angry with his mother, maybe he will need to sleep at your house as we had planned, but not to be with you, but with them."
"Sure…"
"So I'm going to tell them everything now," Cecile decided. "The risk of them spilling the beans with Sev's mother at this point is minimal. And if Sev wants to be with your parents and your parents with him and he doesn't want to see you, you come to spend a few days at my house."
"It's okay, Cecile."
"Know that I do it for him and not for you."
"It is now clear to me, Cecile."
"I will plan the rest of the strategy with Deborah at dinner, unless Sev needs either of us. In that case, I will do it tomorrow at breakfast and I will write to them so that it reaches them in the evening, still in time for the answer to arrive on Tuesday. I have to plan it with Deborah because I don't know how the Slys have the schedule with Hippolyta. We have to give Sev time to solve that problem first, because later he will be devastated and he will not be able to focus on anything other than recovering."
"Of course."
"How unconscious you have been Lily, for not scratching yourself a little. You have abandoned him in the most difficult situation of his life. He will never forgive you."
"I think he will."
"Of course he will, because he is exceptional, if he was able to forgive Potter and become inseparable from Remus and Sirius. But with you it will never be the same again, because with them he has gone from less to more, with you, from more to less, emptiness, disappointment, abyss. The nights that he may has to spend alone as soon as he learns of the deep wound of his family."
"He will spend it with his brother," Lily assumed.
"I hope so, but with his brother he won't be able to talk or cry. With you he could have done it, it was you who had to be there for him."
"True."
"How you have failed him, Lily. I can't get over it, huh? He has been waiting for you to be his first, he healed the wounds of your family with your sister and he has fixed your life. Professor at Hogwarts, Lily, as soon as you graduate, the best job you could dream of, while all the rest of us will have to fight it and the vast majority will fight in the war. You do not have forgiveness. He will forgive you, but I won't. And I already know what I'm going to do. I'm going to write to my parents too telling them everything. That he can also sleep at my house, we will be with yours until the last minute and then he will come to sleep with me. In my room there are two small beds, he can sleep alone in one of them or with me, with me he will not take the risk of me wanting something more from him, but if he wants, I will give it to him. You stay there, I'm going to write to my parents right now."
Cecile left.
. . . . . . . . .
Sev and Hippolyta separated from Sirius to return to the castle, they went through the passage behind the greenhouses and he through the main door. They went home and from there to the Great Hall, the family was already having dinner.
Sev bonded with Deborah and told her, "Results with Hippolyta. One hundred percent the first time for an hour. I have read everything, her entire life except what compromised her in the face of the slut."
"Bravo!" Deborah exclaimed.
"She is extraordinary."
"Of course she is. How lucky you have been, Prince."
"Thanks to you."
"You would have discovered her for yourself anyway. So, you don't need the clearing after dinner anymore?"
"No, but Cecile and Sirius do need it, she is going to teach him Occlumency," he said.
"Great. Then the Obliviate thing stays in your room."
"That is."
"Let's see if Jack can do it," she said. "He has a huge hangover."
"I already imagine it. Has he stopped by the Infirmary?"
"Yes, he has stopped."
"Well, then let's hope he recovers a little," said Sev.
"Are you going to participate in the session?"
"No I don't."
"What are you going to do?" Deborah asked.
"Is the Room of Requirement reserved?"
"Yes, but I cancel it."
"Great, but don't cancel it, delay until after the curfew to whoever asked you," he said. "I'm going with Hippolyta to play the piano. Speaking of the Room, how about you?"
"Books in triplicate and Paul advancing in Legilimency by leaps and bounds. He has already read profound ones."
"Great, Deborah. Are you going to continue at night?"
"Of course."
"Everything is sailing smoothly. Ah! Something else, we are one more for tomorrow, I have invited Sirius to the party."
"Very well done," she approved.
"He's going to join with me to avoid Lily."
"I knew it. If Lily dares to come."
"Well yes, if she dares," he said. "You gave her a good scolding at lunch, right?"
"Indeed I have done it."
"You shouldn't have done it, Deborah, it's something between her and me."
"Not at all, Prince, you are my friend and I defend you, she has also failed me by failing you."
"Feelings change, you said it yourself."
"Yes, but not in two days and without reasons on your part."
"I stopped wanting her too," Sev admitted.
"But not loving her, wanting to be with her."
"No, not that."
"And you didn't let her down while you were recovering, you were there for her during her exams," said Deborah.
"True."
"And she did fail you yesterday."
"In a way yes," he admitted.
"You have to look forward and recover, Prince, at noon you were better."
"I know, Deborah, I'm already trying."
"Try not to think about it and have dinner in peace, come on."
Shortly after, Cecile, Remus and Sirius arrived. Cecile bonded with Sev and Deborah. "Shall I interrupt something, guys?" she asked them.
"Nothing, little witch, we were already done with the urgent matter," Sev replied. "Have you talked to Sirius?"
"Of course I have done it. We'll go to the clearing directly from the Hall, and Remus with you home."
"Very good."
"I left you a new song in the piano classroom, Sev. Let's see if you like it."
"Thank you, Cecile. I'll go with Hippolyta to the Room of Requirement after dinner."
"I have found it for you with an easy melody so that you can take it out on your own. Then we will listen to the album in the summer and you will improve it."
"Great, Cecile, thank you very much. You're the best. I love you very much."
"Thank you, Sev. I love you too."
Sev started crying, Deborah unbonded.
"Sev… you are speechless…" Cecile told him, very sweet.
"Ugh… Cecile, it's just that I got moved."
"Come on, honey, cheer up, you were happy."
"At lunch I took a very big stick."
"I know everything, Sev, you can chat with me."
"How is Lily?"
"Forget her completely, honey, don't take care of her anymore. You don't need her at all, you have all the rest of us."
"And her parents, Cecile?"
"Her parents are going to love you anyway, she was the one who screwed up, not you. I dare say they are going to get into quite an upset with her."
"I don't want that to happen."
"It has to happen, Sev. Let her wake up. More good news, you are invited to sleep at my house whenever you want, just you, alone or with me, or with any of your little ones."
"Have you talked to your parents about it?"
"Yes, I have written to them, but not asking their permission, but announcing it to them. Remember that I'll be seventeen in September, Sev, I'm barely two months younger than Deborah."
"Thank you very much, Cecile."
"You don't have to thank me. So you can play the piano there whenever you want."
"It's going to be great."
"My Mum is delighted, a new student in the summer," she said.
"I will pay her."
"No way. You already pay for everything in spades."
"You know I can, Cecile."
"Well, then give her gifts. My Mum likes jewelry and she can't afford it."
"Great, I can think of something else."
"Tell."
"Go with you to a classical music concert, also with Jack and his parents, who love it," he suggested.
"Ugh, Sev… that's very expensive."
"Cecile, you know I can afford it."
"Well, wait until you see how Lily's Mum is at selling your jewelry. Don't be hasty, Sev, maybe you can't abuse her either."
"When I return from the Hall I am going to Summon many more, with ideas from Hippolyta."
"I think it's great. I didn't tell you anything so as not to do it in front of the others, but the diadem was spectacular, Sev, it looked old, what good taste you have."
"Deborah helped me, there are jewelry like that in her family."
"Of course, high-born."
"That is. Also, think that I'm going to save money on holidays with Lily, because I don't feel like going with her anymore," he said.
"Well, well, Sev, wait until then to talk to her parents. Maybe they would rather go with you than with her."
"I would never allow it, Cecile. They are Lily's parents, not mine."
"You need them more than she does. She's had them for sixteen years, you've only had them for two and a half months. They already told you that they are also your parents."
"Yes, maybe you're right," he admitted. "Have you already talked to Sirius about what we did this afternoon?"
"Yes, he told us everything quickly. We had been waiting for him since a quarter past five."
"Ugh…"
"But don't get overwhelmed, huh?" she reassured him. "He has done well to stay with you. You needed him more, and he needed you more. We are always together now. Have you been comfortable?"
"We have had a great time, Hippolyta adores him. We will form a squad of three to snack on Death Eaters in their own homes. The Silver Trio."
"Excellent!"
"He has transformed and we have scratched him behind his ears," he said.
"Brilliant!"
"We have seen his dog things."
They both laughed.
"You had a great time, I'm so glad," said Cecile.
"Well, I also spent more than an hour reading Hippolyta, huh?"
"Yes, Sirius has already told us that. One hundred percent the first time and without having transmitted any talent. She is extraordinary. You've met your match, Sev. If you get itchy, do it with someone, but without getting involved. Don't fall in love with anyone else again. Stay with her and forget all the others."
"I've already lost count of how many people have told me that," he said.
"Well you know, Sev. But don't condemn yourself to spending months and months alone or torture yourself for having impulses, we all have them. And that is not being unfaithful or disloyal, that is nonsense, you can allow yourself to be with girls even if you love her, as long as everything is clear between the parties involved."
"Sure, you are right."
"In addition, an active, moderate sexual life is very healthy for the body and mind, it allows you to forget about worries, like art. Your whole being involved in something very intense."
"You are absolutely right, Cecile."
"And something else, you won't want to lose practice, later you will be in charge of teaching her."
They laughed.
"Of course not."
"Well you know, Sev. Stay yourself, don't betray yourself in any way."
"Thank you, Cecile, you have clarified my ideas a lot."
"You're welcome, love. Later I'm going to have to do the same with Sirius."
"Yes, I have already suggested that he talk to you."
"He already told us, yeah," she said. "This afternoon Remus tried to do it with him and he didn't say anything."
"Sirius is extremely reliable. He did not do it until he could consult with me and even then he was not the one who asked me for permission, I gave it to him."
"Indeed he is. And loyal, very loyal. He's not going to fail you, Sev, not for Lily or anyone."
"Yes, I know, Cecile. He's going to learn Occlumency in two sessions, you'll see. And in any case, if he has a hard time today, back at the castle, take him to the beech. Do you know how to ward the clearing and unward the Pensieve?"
"Of course, Sev. Get the problem out of your head now. Otherwise I would have already asked you. Are you going to pass the powers on to the little girl before the end of the term?"
"Oh, I hadn't thought about that and yes, I should, at least so that she can advance in her studies. A shame, because I would have liked to take her to her tree on her birthday, but there is still a long way to go."
"When is her birthday?"
"I can't tell you, secret," he said. "Tomorrow she will also come to the party. Chat with her, she needs female advice. Maybe she will hit it off with you and tell you about it."
"She must have gotten horny yesterday watching the drunks."
"Spot on, Cecile. For the first time in her life, and she has never done it alone."
"Another one like Lily, at least she has woken up before. She's not a woman yet, is she?"
"No, she is not, we assume it is because of anorexia."
"Well yes, because it would already be her turn," she said.
"Do you mind talking to me about that topic, Cecile? I barely know anything."
"Of course I don't mind, but you have to leave me a few minutes of dinner so I can also chat with Deborah."
"Of course, of course. We can also talk about it another time, it is not urgent."
"We'll talk about it, Sev, if you want, tomorrow at the party, we'll make a huddle of girls with you and that way you can find out about everyone. You'll see how interesting."
"Great, we'll let Sirius and Hippolyta participate too."
"Of course, Sirius must already know enough, with so many lovers."
"Hippolyta too, her parents talk to her about everything," he said.
"Of course, as it should be done."
"I will then let you chat with Deborah and I will dedicate a little time to my loves and to finish dinner in peace."
"If you want, later, you can bond with me again or you can bond with Remus. He really regrets not having come yesterday, after how everything has turned out," said Cecile.
"Well yes, he was very silly. He has to learn too."